Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
We have a philosophy in our household. It's called the Pars philosophy. It's
called next. Somebody ever touches youwithout you giving informission hit you in any
way, degrade you in public,makes you feel like you're not important,
but you don't need them. Nextmove on. You know they're not You're
not you know they're not worth it. So did you meet did you meet
(00:24):
this boyfriend? I met him twicethe first time he came over the house
with her barely looked me in theeyes, and I didn't want to handshake,
like, you know, it wasn'teven there, like he barely shook
my hand. I actually, asthey started to leave the house, I
actually grabbed my daughter by their shoulderand said, I don't like this guy
(00:46):
already. So it can usually comein somebody's house, especially if you're meeting
the father, and it's like,how do you do, mister bars You
know, you shake your hand,you know, try to impress me.
But there was no, nothing,nothing near that. The second time I
met him was we all had abig we do a family rafting trip every
year. He came to the raftingtrip. Uh, And the ironic thing
(01:11):
was I had fallen into the riverand was holding on to one of the
boats to get till somebody grabs andpick you up. And he was the
one I boat I grabbed, andhe never he just looked at me and
let me stay in the order untilsomebody else grabbed me. So I kind
of I was not feeling a goodvibe from this guy. He could easily
pull me into the boat. He'sa big guy, so you know,
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I didn't like I just didn't likehim from the beginning. I told Stephanie
to just be careful with this guy, but I couldn't do anything because I'm
trying to let her be independent,trying to let her know, make her
own decisions. So I'm trying tojust keep an eye on him as I
any father. Would you know.A couple of weeks went by. Stephanie
tried to get away from this guyat that point after he touched it the
first time. But you know,he did his typical thing, and they
(01:57):
love bomb me. They started givingyou a flowers and I love you and
this and that never happened again.Blah blah blah blah. Stephanie figure,
you know, she's in experience withthat, so she's took him back,
and about a week and a halflater, we had the second assault.
This time he grabbed her brother,picked her up off the ground, slammed
her against the wall. Now he'ssix foot four, about one hundred and
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ninety pounds, she's four for eleven, you know, maybe one hundred and
ten pounds weight. I mean,so you can see the difference there.
And but she got away from him. And were you aware of this happened?
I wasn't away at the point,but she got so scared this time
that she actually called an ex boyfriendthat was still friends with her. He
called me and he said, youknow, mister Parter, you better watch
this guy that Stephan's going out with, because he's putting his hands on her.
(02:45):
Okay, so now I'm on highlertAnd next day I went to Stephanie's
house. I actually sat down withher. I had a face to face
conversation with her, one of themthe most serious conversations you could ever have
with somebody. She knew it.She can say a word. She was
eye to eye with me, andshe's kind of afraid. She didn't know
what I was going to say.When I just said to her, I
(03:07):
said Steph, I noticed the guy'shitting you. I said, I said,
I'm pretty sure when he came overthe house the first time that when
you asked your mother about your head, that he probably hit you that time.
Am I right? And she saidyeah. I said, okay,
so what are you doing? Isaid, what happened to next? Why
is he still here? And sheagreed. I said he's done. I
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said, out of here. Idon't want to see him. You're not
seeing him anymore, and you knowshe's never going to be accepted in the
family nothing, So just ended now. So she said to me, you
know, I said, I'll takecare of John, and she said,
no, that let me do it. And I had to make a decision
at that point. I'm not goingto let my daughter be who she is
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and be strong and be able tohandle her own situations to let him break
up with this guy, or amI gonna have a steppin. So I
made a decision to let her doit. After she begged me to leave
him alone, and I said,okay, you do it. Probably the
biggest mistake of my life. Butbut you were trying to be a good
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father and let your twenty five yearold daughter do the right thing by herself
and be a strong young woman.And she sounded to be a strong young
woman. How much. I'm sosorry. I'm so sorry. Like I
said, I cannot imagine the pain. She was a she was a very
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tough girl. I mean, shecan handle herself, so I you know,
that's why I said, Yes shedid. Next day she actually broke
up with him and she called him. Mother said, you know, tell
the head that he's done. Itold him. But you know now that
we have been involved in this domesticviolence situation so long, you learn a
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lot of things, and you knowthat when they leave the person, it's
the most dangerous time.