Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
That's sublime on the show. It'sRock one five to three. Today is
free Comedy Friday. And let metell you something. I was very excited
when I saw that our old friendSteve Simone is back and we were just
talking like how long has it beenSteve? Like this is crazy that Steve
used to come in. We seequite a bit and then it's been a
(00:22):
minute since you've been in. Heis performing at the Grand Comedy Club up
in Escondido. Great place to gosee a show, get some delicious food
as well. It's fantastic pizza,next level. A couple of shows tonight,
a couple of shows tomorrow night.Go see Steve. The nicest man
in comedy it is. I don'tcare. He's just a great human and
so I just love Steve. I'mso glad you're back, dude. I'm
(00:44):
so happy to be It's crazy.Where you been, h I moved to
Florida? Oh did you really?Wow? Yeah? Cod Oh it was
the end of the world and Iwanted to go to someplace safe. County
Buddy will take care of you,no doubt about it. Masks, what
are those get out of here?That was the weird. That was surreal
(01:06):
because it was like the older peoplewere the less they cared, and I
thought it was going to be theopposite, right, crazy, I honestly,
so it was time to get outof la Okay. This was like
June of twenty twenty. Wow,you really, said Joey Diaz and I
went through COVID like it was goodFellas. It was like prison. Like.
He was like, you're a dog. I bought some Clarence. You
want to make someone like Joey.I don't know how to make that.
(01:30):
You'll figure it out. He woulddrop off food, I would cook it
and then me Lee sayatt and JoeyDiaz that's just crazy and figure out that
that was your bubble family. Yeah, joy Yeah, and then God blessed
Joey. He was like, youknow, he had seen some things in
life. Yeah, and he's likeSteve Simone, this is not good.
No, these streets are talking,dude. I saw a man hit with
(01:53):
a battle axe in broad daylight.He was bleeding profusiously and Charmanoak's dog in
the morning. We got to getout here, got to get out.
Meanwhile, you're slicing garlic with thegarlic with liquifying. It's amazing. Wow.
So do you do you enjoy Florida? Do you really Florida middle of
(02:14):
nowhere? Okay, Oh dude,it's all cows. Wow, so awful.
Like, dude, gators, Oh, I've seen them. They're like
real dinosas I didn't even think theywere real. I'm like those cally people
were like, you see one,it's like and then you forget they could
(02:34):
eat you, like it's a dinosaur. Yeah it is. And then they
start to move. You're like,well, and then the whole my whole
career there. I was like,if you zigzag, they can't catch you,
and people like, no, that'show you get eating you to go.
I think that's how you avoid abullet. Yeah, I don't think
alligator folks live in the villages,so my, you know what I tell
(03:01):
people like, I had no ideahow awesome retired people were because the only
thing I do is go to churchand eat donuts. There. My buddies
are like seventy or over. Itell my friends, I go, if
your parents have retired to Florida andyou think you're getting an inheritance, you
are not. There's going to benothing left. But it's so cute.
(03:23):
Yeah, their their community is likeone of the leaders for like STDs and
those like that. You're like,I'm afraid to go. I would,
it's too much. Yeah. Yeah, but most people from the villages are
from New York. They use NewYork Jews. My parents are and they
moved to New York. They movedto the villages because it's so much cheaper
to live there, and it's thisgiant community and my and they drive around
(03:43):
their golf cars and they have ninewhole golf courses everywhere, have all these
activities. But my dad just sitson the couch all day and does nothing.
My mom's out in about a littlebit more. But yeah, but
they my parents. My dad's sixtyeight, my mom's sixty seven, but
they act, but they act eightynine. And that's the problem. Oh
no, that's adorable. Yeah,well that's how it all worked. So
I went there. I just wantedto get I was like, I can
(04:04):
live on the beach in Florida forless money than when I'm paying for Vale.
And I'm like, all right,let me figure it out for a
couple of months, and then Irealized, Okay, my parents aren't getting
any younger, So I'd been inLA for twenty years and I'm like,
let me buy a little house andit was where it's really safe. Yeah,
my friend told me it was reallysafe. And then I moved to
my parents in and it was somuch fun. I'm like, I'm not
(04:27):
giving this. What am I am? I going to go to Austin or
Al have my mom's lasagna and I'mgood, God, that's that's legit.
That's awesome. But you're back now, which is good. So happy to
see you. So yeah, GrandComedy Club up in Escondido. Definitely go
check out Steve because he puts ona great show. What I love about
Steve and what really bonded us backin the day is our love of wrestling
(04:51):
right and kind of old school wrestlingtoo, because Steve you was good friends
with rowdy Roddy Piper, which whichI always will remember, and I love
Roddy on like another level. Dude. He was the coolest dude ever.
He one of the highlights, andI kid you not, I've been doing
this for over thirty years. Thehighlight of my career was when Roddy did
(05:11):
an hour on this show and Ithought he was going to be here for
like ten minutes. Yeah, hestayed for an hour, and I could
have done twenty hours with the guy. I mean, he had incredible That
remind me, how did you guyseven? Okay, so this is what
happened. I remember vivid. Itwas I had done a Christmas entertaining our
troops overseas. Okay. I waslike, you know what, I don't
have kids. If somebody's gonna go, I can do it. Okay,
(05:38):
right, I'm not married, nothave kids, like I can give up
a Christmas for the people fighting overseas. And it was Christmas two thousand and
eight and it was awesome. Yeah. I remember spending Christmas Day on the
USS Nimics. It was it's amazing. Yeah, you fly in. It
was like so cool, dude,we did. It was the most incredible
shows. We were all over thatwhole region. That's great. And then
(06:00):
when I finally hooked up the WiFi again, I was in Dubai and
there was an email from Eric Abrams, who at the time was the town
coordinator at the Improv, and itjust said, in the subject line rowdy
comedy. I'm like, I'm notrowdy coming, I'm not around and I
licked it was like, do youhave any interest in doing a comedy show
with Rowdy Roddy Piper. I waslike, because because you were a fan
(06:24):
already huge fan from back to theday and all that stuff, you know,
the awesome stuff the eighties. Yes, So then I couldn't wait.
I couldn't wait to meet him.And I remember like telling all my friends
like and I was so nervous.I was like a little kid meeting Santa,
because that was the back then,is that he was trying to get
into the comedy and telling stories.One man show. So his manager,
(06:46):
so he sees me, I'm theonly comedian at the time that had wrestling
specific material, and I was likea little afraid of him. It's intimidating.
Yeah, Plus, like in mybrain he was Rowdy Roddy Pipe is
a bad guy. He's going tohit you with a coconut. That's I
remember. He seems nice, butdon't trust him. Yeah you're gonna turn
(07:10):
on you. Yeah. Yeah,didn't tell me stories about what happened with
that Snooker really tried to kill himfor months after. That's crazy. So
there's a very famous yeah he didthat. He didn't murder somebody Jimmy supervised
Taka. Back in the eighties.He was on this thing called Piper's Pit,
which is rowdy Roddy Piper's. Itwas the first real talk show that
(07:30):
a wrestler had on TV, andso he had Jimmy Snook on and Jimmy
was from the Islands and Fiji andall this stuff, and he got grabbed
a coconut and hit him in thehead with it and knocked him out and
it was this crazy thing. Causeda big fuse and it was a real
it was a real cocon skin.It sploded open. So he had him
for real. Yeah, so hereally tried to get him after that.
Yeah, that's crazy, reize,how real. So much of it was
(07:54):
so right now. I feel likea fact kid like that goes I'm here
for it. Yeah, Roddy,I do my wrestling bit and he just
like this is a sold out improvcomedy club. And he just hugs me
and starts to pet my hair likethe dog on my buddy. He was
like, that was such a sweetstory. I'm like, I can't believe
(08:16):
I'm friends, but what's happening rightnow? And the next day his manager
called me and she was like,Roddy really liked your set. He'd like
to come see you at the comedystore. So he comes to the comedy
Store, but I was going upso late in the night January of two
thousand and nine. I remember whenhe showed up, he had a friend,
(08:37):
and then I didn't know if itwas his girlfriend, but it turned
out it was his daughter, youknow what I mean. Yeah, yeah,
and she's gorgeous. Yeah, I'mdamn. So I sat them in
a booth and then like, I'mwaiting two hours ago, and I kind
of forget that they're there, andI remember I was doing a bit about
drinking invisible tea with my niece,and then the thought occurred to me.
(09:00):
I'm like, why are you doingthis? Roy? Are you writing papers
in the audience? It's going tothink you're a nerd? And made him
made him love me even more.Yeah, so it was awesome coo.
So then afterwards his manager calls me, He's like, look, Roddy's recently
sober. We want to get himinvolved in comedy. You seem like the
perfect match. He thinks you're agood guy. You don't really party,
(09:22):
you'd be a good influence. Doyou want to go meet him. I'm
like yes, So then I wentup to the top of the Hollywood Hills.
We had to talk, and he'stalking about it. He was like,
you know how many fights I've hadhim like fights, this is pro
wrestling. I didn't realize how realit was for those guys. Oh dude,
I remember, I have so manyof those stories. So long story
(09:45):
short, we link up and Istart to meet him every day at the
comedy store during the day, everyday. Yeah, so he would.
I wanted to get him comfortable enoughon stage where it was no longer a
show and he could just be himselfbecause he wanted to tell jokes. I'm
like, dude, you don't needto stories just because Smart the Comedy Store
(10:07):
in Hollywood, the philosophy of thatclub is literally painted on the wall where
you buy your tickets, and it'sfrom the late great Mitzi Shore, the
godmother of comedy. That note.She's that this is coming from the mountaintop,
and it said pot luck night.Sunday night is pot luck night.
It means anybody with the desire canbe can have three minutes on stage.
(10:28):
It doesn't mean you need to befunny in three minutes. But you need
to be you, which is verymuch the comedy store. Don't don't go
for the last set because you meanit. So I wanted to start.
I'm starting to pull these stories outof Roddy and get them to stop being
like take my wife please, Likethis is a good story. Now it's
the fascinating thing, the stuff thatwas the most fascinating. He didn't he
(10:52):
told me this is not a lie. We're talking. It was like,
well, it's like the time Igot high with the ninjas, so this
is a real story. And thenI'd be like, Roddy tell the ninjas.
I don't nobody's gonna want to hearthat. Would like to hear what
it is. He was filming.There's some martial arts actor director guy named
(11:15):
Sonny Chiba. He gets a shoutout like every Tarantino. So Roddy was
like in Guada, somewhere in CentralAmerica filming a martial arts movie. There
was this civil war. Three clicksaway, he goes, bombs are blowing
up. So he said, whatmade it fascinating was is that there were
quote unquote American tough guys and Japanesetough guys that we're going to be in
(11:35):
this movie, and he goes inthe Japanese tough guys for Ninja's I'm like,
wait, a ce ninjas are real? Yeah, I'm like, it's
a Halloween costs like a pirate,which are also real. It turns out
sure, so he goes, oh, yeah, there there assassins for the
Yakuza. I'm like, wait,what what world do you live in?
(11:58):
So he said the Ninjas and theAmerican guys. There was beef like static,
we're not talking about mister Fuji here, Okay, you remember his mister
Fuji story? No, I don't. Oh it became an episode of South
Park. Just I'll just get topunch your game assassins. So they're not
(12:20):
talking to each other, and Roddysaid there was one time they were in
the gym together and Roddy was ona rowing machine. He was on the
rolling machine for like about a halfan hour, and then the Ninja got
onto the rowing machine next to himand they're not talking at all Japanese.
Roddy speaks English, and Roddy's like, I'm not giving up. I'm going
to make sure he's the first todo it. So after two and a
(12:41):
half hours, the ninja finally stoppedRoddy. It was like a weird competition.
Yes, everything was a weird competition. On the set, he was
like, but then I'm smoking ajoint by myself up in the room and
one of the ninjas is walking downthe hall and he kind of peeks his
head in and he was like andRoddy's like, yeah, you want I
get high? And I'm just likeyeah. Then they start talking and he
(13:05):
realized how much they had in common, how cool they were, And after
about half an hour into the conversation, Roddy looks at the ninja and it
was like, you really had mefoold. I had no idea. You
spoke English, and the ninja looksat him and goes, I don't know
how to speak English, and Roddygoes, dude, I don't know Japanese,
and then Ninja goes, I don'tknow English, and then they realized
(13:28):
they shouldn't be talking to each other, and then they looked at each other
and couldn't understand the word. Afterthat, what I don't wait to seeing
me. You got so high withthe ninja you could communicate with him,
And he was like, it wasthe eighties that must that's awesome. Well,
Steve, I tell you, I'mso happy your back. Got to
(13:48):
go check him out Grand Comedy Clubin Escandiego. Like I said, a
couple of shows tonight, a coupleof shows tomorrow night. Great stuff,
Steve, It's Father's Day, guys. We get a shout out after that.
And this show six thirty better thanthat thirty. Come on, let's
go home by I love it,Thanks to God see you. But we
are a big Disney family, meand my kids and wife. We go
(14:11):
to Disneyland all the time. Well, Emily has asked me before, if
you don't mind me asking, howmuch does that? Yeah? How much?
But we're going to see what itcosts an average family to go to
Disneyland when we get back on theshow at Rock with a five three