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May 2, 2025 11 mins
A P1 emailed us with a question about his girlfriend dancing with her bosses asking if it was a red flag or a dealbreaker, here is what we think
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Uh, So, I am honestly a little concerned about one
particular person's opinion on this email that we got. It's Emily.
Emily has some very strong reactions, especially if she's ever
felt like she's being told to not do something or
do something by her like significant other. She doesn't she'd

(00:20):
like to be put in a box controlled.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
I'm my own person.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
But if somebody tells you like they're uncomfortable with something
to an extent, you'll be cool about it, and then
then you're you get to the point of like you're like,
I I do what I want.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
I care.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm not a complete monster.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
Do you said?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I said complete? I said complete. I agree, I do
have some respect.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
I'm not discreeting. So I want to see how you
feel about this, because this is an email that we
got from a pew one that says.

Speaker 3 (00:50):
What's a good show. That's a good show.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Yeah, I haven't been of a situation with my girlfriend
and I need your help. We've been together for a
little over seven months. We both love each other and
work together. I know, I know it's never a good
idea to date a somebody at work, but you can't
choose who you love.

Speaker 5 (01:13):
So true it's true.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Anyways, there is a work function coming up, and my
girlfriend has a plus one with a female coworker. I
am not going there's going to be dancing at this
work event. So I asked my girlfriend, would you be
dancing with other men at this work function? And she replied,

(01:35):
just my managers, Tony and Greg to Tony and Greg.

Speaker 6 (01:41):
Right. Well.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
At first I wanted to be the understanding boyfriend. But
the more I thought about it, the more I feel
uncomfortable her about her dancing with any guys. I asked
her if there if the tables were turned, would she
be okay with me dancing with my female supervisors? Of
course not either way, she said she will quote think

(02:02):
about it. My question is, if she chooses to dance
with these male supervisors, is that a deal breaker? Thanks
for all the last Let me know what you guys think. Now,
Sky has a poopy look on her face, Emily, Emily
doesn't like that. I don't think either.

Speaker 5 (02:19):
Dancing with somebody else a deal breaker.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Here's the thing. You say that, and I understand before
we say anything, I want to say this is obviously
a very insecure situation. We've all had our insecurities before.
I don't fault this guy. I do think he's been
a little over the top with his insecurity. I am
saying that all that. But you, of all people, should

(02:43):
know if you say something makes you feel uncomfortable, what
is dancing with somebody matter? Wouldn't you just go all right?
If it makes you uncomfortable? I won't do it. But
if I like to dance, you can't dance with your
female friends.

Speaker 6 (02:57):
I can, but like if you know, it's in a
sweet circle, and.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Then can you not do that? Can you not dance
like that? Can you please stop dancing like that?

Speaker 6 (03:05):
One of the male coworkers gets in there like this,
you know, and then all of a sudden.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
You know, yeah, a dead fish.

Speaker 5 (03:13):
Out of water, Like, am I worried that I'm gonna
get dumped?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Because you know, hold on a minute. You don't understand
the difference. You don't understand the difference of dancing like
one on one with Tony?

Speaker 5 (03:23):
Are we talking about like slow?

Speaker 3 (03:25):
What are you talking about? I don't know, Like hip
hop dancing grinding? Yeah, maybe they're grinding and grinding, bumping
and grind hip hop j kwan, Tipsy's on.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
But so your husband expresses to you. That makes me
feel a little weird and uncomfortable. Can you not.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Bump and grind dancing with another man? Dancing with another man?

Speaker 6 (03:53):
Well, but if you're not there to dance with me,
then I you know, and I'm just dancing with friends,
men and women.

Speaker 5 (04:00):
I don't understand what.

Speaker 6 (04:01):
Well you're pushing back, Yeah, I'm well, I'm not pushing back,
that's clearly because you're not my boss.

Speaker 5 (04:07):
We're just having a discussion, like why did you make
it a weird Well, you made it weird when you
said pushing.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Back to my request. That's not that's not weird.

Speaker 6 (04:15):
I'm not pushing back. I'm having a discussion. And if
we can't have a discussion.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Then what are you doing? I'm uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 (04:21):
Okay, let's have a discussion about why you're uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Because you're dancing with another man and i'm your man.

Speaker 5 (04:27):
But what about that? What's the fear? What's making you
uncomfortable about that?

Speaker 3 (04:31):
I don't want other men touching you and dancing with.

Speaker 6 (04:34):
You, even in a platonic friendly way.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Well you, that's the thing. This is where chicks are
come on. No guys ever gonna dance with a girl
in a platonic friendly.

Speaker 4 (04:44):
Way, and I don't care to have danced together at
like work events, your wedding.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
Okay, wait, well you just do the running man. It's
hard to hear you. Okay, you just keep going. Okay,
I'll put it following me around, I'll put it this way.
I'll put it this way. If they're if you're there,
if you're not married, and this guy's not married, two
of them aren't married, and they're just dating or whatever.
It's just weird. And I just what's crazy to me
is if the roles were reversed, she'd be like, this

(05:10):
is so uncomfortable. I don't want I don't want the
boo doing this. I think it's just so well.

Speaker 6 (05:14):
Like if it's the same girl over and over from
work and you guys are like dancing sexual, that's different.
But if there's groups of friends dancing and then two
friends end up like dancing together, like Emily said, like
this is me and Eddie like many times, Like there
was one time Eddie and I were dancing together and
there were my husband was there, bumpy grind, and then

(05:34):
there was another couple there and the other the other
couple actually made a comment later that night of like, oh,
that's that's cool.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, yeah, so you understand. So then you understand that
so that if other couples are making comments, you see
it's it's a common thing to be uncomfortable with it.

Speaker 6 (05:51):
But again I looked at the guy because it was
the guy and the other couple, and I looked at
him like, bro, you're in secure Las Vegas, justin him
or lake. It was a song off the Sexy Back
album and we were in the Uh you made us
go see some cover band that you claimed was the
greatest cover band of all time in Las Vegas, like.

Speaker 3 (06:12):
Have zero, this.

Speaker 6 (06:14):
Is this is like pre kids. This is like one
of our first trips.

Speaker 5 (06:18):
To Vegas together, Las Vegas.

Speaker 6 (06:25):
Yea, the Okay, these are different, These are different comments.
Guns n' Roses Metallica day on the Green Tour, two
epic events my life. But I remember I remember the
guy and the other couple saying that and me and
me being like, we got some issues here.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
I mean, you're one of the more insecure women I've
ever met. So it's crazy to think with your relationships
say that.

Speaker 5 (06:53):
I don't think that's true at all.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
I mean, Sky, you follow your husband all the time,
but you always think he's cheating on you. What are
you talking about?

Speaker 1 (07:03):
You again?

Speaker 5 (07:03):
For the million time.

Speaker 6 (07:04):
I don't follow his location because I'm insecure and I
think he's cheating.

Speaker 5 (07:07):
I just want to know where he is at all times.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Glad you tell yourself that, I just want to know
where he is at all time? What do you think?

Speaker 2 (07:15):
I got so many questions.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
I want to know what these Tony and Greg characters
are like, because like there's a couple like the older
Kookie or you know, silly guys here at work, like
in sales for instance, that like are kind of funny,
and like like if that's the kind of guys we're
dealing with.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
We're like clearly like what if they're young, kind of
good looking.

Speaker 4 (07:33):
Supervisors, then I think that's weird to dance with them.
To be honest, I really do think that's weird.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Oh you're so insecure.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
I like, like, I if Robert really told me that,
I swear, I would be like, Okay, that's fine, Like
because also in turn, I really would be uncomfortable if
he was dancing with his female coworker one hundred percent.
But if it's like if it wasn't like the best
looking like guys in the office and say they're like
middle of the pack and they were goofy. I'll probably
try to explain that to him them be like, yeah,
they're just kind of funny. They're funny dancers. We do

(08:02):
like funny movements and stuff. Why can't you know I
do that? And I don't know, Maybe I still would
do it. Maybe if I'm not bumping and grinding with anybody,
that's just ridiculous. But what if it's Yeah, I mean,
if it's an Eddie, then you're.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
Gonna you're gonna have that discussion.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
I'm gonna have the discussion.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Essentially, I'm gonna do kind of what I want. I guess.
I mean, yeah, like that's ridiculous. Friend, Like, that's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
But if Robert said to you, hey, I don't I
don't want you to dance with that Eddie character.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
Character, by the way, I.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Guess, is it.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Worth throwing away your relationships? This guy's belaving her.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Man, yeah, just somebody? Well yeah whatever.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Listen again, going back to my original point, I don't
have a problem with this. If Devil was doing the
thing and she wanted to dance, I trust my wife.
I don't think anything weird is going on. I think
if something the guy tried to do something she can
handle herself. Yep, my younger self. I might have had
been more insecure in our relationship and been like, yeah,

(09:04):
that makes me feel weird now at this point, like whatever,
I don't care to do whatever. Yeah, but I would
hope that whatever is making me uncomfortable, whatever it is,
and I and I see that to you, I hope
that it's a better reaction than what you just gave me.
Sky that makes me like, uh that now we're going
to have a fight.

Speaker 6 (09:24):
Well yeah, well because really, like honestly, what I would
say is like, I will try my best to keep
my my my hot dancing around my female coworkers. But
please know, if a guy ever comes in the circle,
if we end up it's purely platonic, it's silly, we're
just friends. But I'll try my best to just dance
with the lake.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Or if it's just solo, lady, can you stop dancing please,
but I'm racing the room. If it's solo you and
you and Greg, me and Greg. Yeah, there's no there's
no other females around. You and Greg just dancing to
you know, Rob Bass.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Well, I'm not good. I can't. I don't blame you.

Speaker 5 (09:59):
Yeah, well I'm not going to go on the floor
with just me and Greg, but oh.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
There's other people dancing, but you and your female contingent.

Speaker 6 (10:08):
But all the ladies kind of drop off, and yeah,
we'll finish up the song and then I'll kind of
be like, oh, need to go get a drink.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
I did cheat.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
I feel like if if if if my wife wanted
to dance with at a work functions, wedding or whatever,
and I knew the guys, I would be like, all right,
just be careful around so and so. But if I
don't know any character, yeah I don't trust. But if
I don't know the guys, yeah, it makes me really
uncomfortable because I don't trust.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
As they work together.

Speaker 3 (10:38):
So yeah, then then then then maybe he knows. Then
maybe he don't surely, because I know who I know guys.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
I feel like Greg's surly one.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
So you trust your wife, but you don't trust guys, Yes,
because my wife is so I don't want to say
stupid naive, So my wife my wife. Sometimes my wife
will go my wife and would go out with a
girl's boyfriend for like lunch and think and not be
not be able to understand why the girl didn't like her.
We're just going out to lunch and like you don't

(11:07):
see that, Like you don't see like she won't get
it like a guy. Like a guy will completely come
on to her and she'll just be like, oh, I
don't I don't see it so like that that I
don't trust guys around my wife.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
So yeah, is this red flag breakup worthy? Absolutely not
in my opinion. But there has to be communication of
what's comfortable and not comfortable in your relationship, and you
have to be able to go even though that's stupid
if it makes you uncomfortable. I have to be understanding
about them, unlike Sky.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
Unlike Sky, who's breaking up with every break everybody apparently
it's just crazy

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