The Show Presents: P1 Podcast 7.22.24 Canadian Bedroom Disaster

On today's P1 Podcast, Thor tells us about his trip to Canda and what happened when him and his wife took things to the bedroom

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Yes, we are back from oursummer vacations that we all took last week,
and we sort of talked about iton the show. But what we
all did, we all did ourdifferent things. Guy went to Oregon,
nobody can figure it out. Iwent to Maui. Emily went to the
Sun on the Sun. Yeah,it was wonderful. And Thor went to

(00:23):
Canada. Now one of the bestparts about going on vacation, Now,
Sky, you wouldn't understand this isvacation sex. Vacation sex gets a little
crazy. Well, Thor says he'sgot a story about what happened with their
vacation sex. We ain't done yet. It's time for the podcast yet completely

(00:45):
uncensored and uncting filtered except for thatpart. The show's after show starts,
Now, what's Canada sex like?Instead of oh do you say a A?
How weird? So it was thenot the first night. The second

(01:08):
night we were there, we hada great day. We went to uh.
The second day we were there,we were like, we went we
got up like six thirty in themorning. We went out because we knew
it was gonna be hotter. Weactually got really lucky with the weather.
Apparently it's like ten to fifteen degreescolder and like kind of gloomy. But
we got really lucky with the weatherand everything. So we went on three
different hikes on the first day.It was a little much. We got

(01:30):
a little crazy, and we werestaying in this place called Squamish. In
about an hour and twenty minutes,it was place called Windsler, And they're
both like ski resorts, slash heardof Whistler. Whistler What did I say,
Windslor Sorry, I've heard of it, Yeah, Whitsler Sorry, And
Winsler was super cool. And actuallyEmily's your son likes BMX saw stuff.
They have these guys who they takeup the they take the the the gondola

(01:55):
all the way up on their mountainbikes or like their BMX bikes and they
go down the hill and they havethese giant ramps set up everywhere, these
dirt ramps, and they're doing allthis crazy shit. It was wild.
So we were Yeah, so wewent on hikes and stuff like that,
and it was just a lot offun. And you know, we knew
we were gonna go back to theAirbnb, and every and b we were
staying at was in squamish, andit was a really nice airbnb and it

(02:16):
was in this it was in thebasement of this house but had its own
private interest and everything. And theview was incredible of the ocean and like
the mountains. It was really cool. And like we saw deer coming by
and they told us to be carefullocked door because there's bears that come by
wild. There was a point whenwe were on one of the trails.
The trails and there's a sign thatthey have that says what do you do

(02:39):
if you encounter bears? Oh,and picture bear safety and on the sign
it says never approach a bear,never run from a bear, and sure
bears have never have access to foodor trash and keeps dog unleashes. I
don't see a yo bear anywhere.Cute and not when see here's the thing

(03:05):
is, it's not when you encountereda bear. This is before. You
must alert the bear that you arein the vicinity by yelling out, yo
bear. That's how you alert.Can you just do that once? You
continually do But but if you encounteredthe bear, then you're you're fucked.

(03:25):
Oh wow, But I don't especiallywith grizzly bear. Yeah, but that.
But before then, I don't havethat issue because I'm letting him know
I'm there. I did. Idid drop a yo bear in Oregon.
Yeah. We were on a hikeand and then there was a sign that
said bear sighted and then it gavea date which was like a week prior,
and as soon as I saw it, I would yo bear. Very

(03:46):
smart. Then my husband just lookedat me and started laughing. He's like,
really smart. Hey, you're alivetoday to talk about it, So
you're welcome. I did do it, Okay. So I saw that bear
safety sign immediately thought of Addie,if your picture, did you do yo?
I didn't do yo. Oh you'relucky you're here, bro. So
anyway, so we eat at thesushi restaurant. That was great, and

(04:09):
then we drove all the way home. And that's the one where you faked
your anniversary. No, that wasthat was in Vancouver. This one was
in Whistler, and this one was. It was really it was really good
sushi. Some of these people,I don't think some of the people liked
Americans, because some people were reallynice. Some people were just rude.
And I think it was because like, like it was one person they have
the high sodium soy sauce. SoI asked for the low sodium soy sauce.

(04:30):
And I go, do you guyshave the low sodium? And she
just turns around, doesn't say anything, walks away, and then grabs it
and puts it on the table andwalks away, and I'm like rude,
you know. So anyway, somy wife had a couple of cocktails.
Oh, I was trying to gether liquored up because I wanted to have
you know, wild vacation sex.We can go. So we get back
to the hotel, to the airbnb, and she wants to watch the sunset.

(04:54):
And now, what's weird? Isthere the sunsets at like ten fifteen
at night? Yeah, it's sofucking weird. It was like eight forty
five and we're driving and you feellike it's only like five thirty, like
it's that bright outside. I'm surean organ it was like that too,
right, It was so weird.It's said at nine o'clock when we were
an organ and you know, notthat late as you but I actually thought

(05:14):
about I'm like, I wonder whattime it's setting for thor right now?
Like at one point we were eating, and I'm like, oh, I
might wanna be like six thirty,and I said eight forty. I'm like,
what the fuck? I mean thesun I can't imagine doing a radio
morning radio show out there. You'regoing to bed and you have to have
blackout curt because it's so even atlike ten o'clock, it's still light out.

(05:40):
Like it's so weird. So shewanted to watch the sun set.
And then I knew also too,this is what's weird too. You go
into a grocery store or something,you can't buy any alcohol. They only
buy some alcohol at liquor stores.That's it. At the liquor stores,
they don't have anything but liquor.Because I asked her to get me a
pack of gum or something, andthey don't have anything but liquor, so
they can only sell They could onlysell booze. And that's so we go.

(06:02):
So she goes and gets a bottleof wine, and I'm fine with
it because I want I want Mamato get liquored up, because when she
Mama gets liquered up, wild stuffhappens for me. So so she's out
there, she's reading her book ortaking pictures of things. I don't know.
I'm watching Receiver on Netflix. Andthen uh so the bedroom set up

(06:24):
right, it's like it's like abigger studio apartment, right, and the
bed is in one corner next tothe By the foot of the bed,
there's like this nice little like designertable, and on the front of the
table there's it's like little like tinycircled mirrors all around like the table,
right, but it's like higher up, not the best place for a table
at the foot of the bed.And then on top of that, it's

(06:46):
like a glass vase right at thetop of that. Not the best place.
But I saw that it was there. We had slept there one night
before, we've seen it. Ifigured Hayley had seen it whatever, so
lately we I don't know if Ishould say this, she's get mad at
me. We brought her camera.We decided to videotape some of the things
that we do. WHOA, thisis escalated quickly like tripod style, not

(07:10):
tripod. But we brought her cameraand set it up so not even a
phone, like a legit camera.Yeah. Well, we brought her camera
to take pictures. Yeah, andwe don't want to get hacked. Oh,
Wow, Oh my gosh, whereis this is professional work? Yeah?
I don't know, like, whatare you doing? Yeah? I
don't want to see that either.I don't want you to see it either.

(07:36):
Yeah. Yeah, Like I'm notall like crazy, and I think
it's just I think it's just thebecause I don't really watch it back.
But like, I think it's justthe thrill of it, you know.
So So that's all set up,and we start, you know, getting
after it a little bit, andI start with are you performing for the

(07:57):
camera at all? We're doing actingon scenes, we're acting, and I
start, I go, I godown on her. That's how the whole
thing starts. And I'm on theend of the bed and I remember that
there's a glass fucking table at thefoot of our bed and a glass of
vase, so nothing happens there.Then, you know, we switch it
up and we start and she's goingdown on me a little bit, and

(08:18):
things are getting hot and heavy.You know, we're naked. She's wearing
an outfit. That's great. I'vetransitioned from the like nurse and teacher to
just sexy lingerie. So she gotthis like a red lingerie thing on,
extremely hot and She's going down onme, and things are going things are
getting great, and we're we're inthe middle of it. And then all

(08:41):
of a sudden, but this isall on camera, by the way,
all of a sudden her foot moveshits the table and I hear it hit
the table. She doesn't think anythingof it, and we hear the table
go down, and then we hearsh and I only need and we hear
the glass vase shatter, and Iimmediately think, where's stone cold? He's

(09:03):
coming out? The glass is broken, so glass shatters fucking everywhere. And
not only does that glass shadder,but remember those small little circled mirrors all
over this table, those are shattered, So there's fucking glass everywhere. And
I obviously I will never show anybodythe video, but the video is so

(09:24):
funny because she kicks it with herfoot and doesn't think anything of it,
and then he hears the glass shatterand looked up at me in horror,
and then you see me like this, Haley, I'm like, oh no,
and then you know I'm naked.We're in the middle of this.

(09:46):
I don't want to stop, butwe have to stop. And then there's
no broom or anything anywhere, andI gotta clean it up. And I
say, Haley, don't touch it, it's glass. But I'm I had
a few drinks. So I lookover and she touched it and cut her
fingers. Yeah, and it's herright hand too, which sucks for me
because she cut her right finger.So I go, well, we gotta

(10:09):
we gotta clean this up. Wecan't leave it like this. So it's
eleven at night and we text theowner of the airbnb because they live upstairs,
and we ask if they have herbroom or something, and then the
guy and it's it's so obvious whathappened, Like, it's so obvious.
So the guy, they said,they'll come down and give us a vacuum.

(10:31):
They had a vacuum, and hecomes down and he's a really nice
guy, a little weird, andhe's from Ukraine and he was He comes
down and he sees the scene andeverything. Obviously at this point, I
have shorts on and Haley put onclothes, stay inerie, and he like
stands there and looks at us andputs two and two together and then over

(10:58):
there. Honestly, that's exactly howhe's And then and I go, yeah,
there's glass everywhere, and he's kindof weird, and he looks and
goes hang on, and he leavesand we're like, where is he going?
And my wife's gonna die laugh itbecause that's exactly how we fucking.

(11:22):
So so he comes back with becausein the Airbnb notes it says they don't
want you to wear shoes in theapartment. So he comes back with slippers
for us to put on it becausehe wants to cut our feet. Then
I go and I go, we'regood man, We're just going to clean

(11:43):
it up. And then the wife, I don't know, maybe she was
drunk because the moon looks really coolthere at night, and she just keeps
going, look at the moon.So we cleaned it up and everything got
put away. The guy left,but we did not finish sex. Oh

(12:05):
not finish sex. The deposit chargeperformed. That's a great point. I
was concerned. We brought it up. My wife Hailey started looking up where
they got the stuff and how muchwas it, what how much it was.
The desk was like one hundred andtwenty bucks. The vase is like
forty. And she's like, I'lloffer to pay for it, and I
go, no, who fucking offeredto pay for it. Say, I'm

(12:28):
like, you idiot. Oh soso she doesn't offer to pay, the
woman says, you're good, don'tworry about it. Just give the cleaning
lady an extra tip and I go. We didn't have any cash, so
Hailey started having so much anxiety aboutnot having extra cash. So she got
up at five am the morning ofand went to an ATM because we were
leaving the next day, and gotand got money out to give it to

(12:48):
the cleaning I'm like, I justwouldn't have left anything horrible. We real
quick. Can I see the videoso I can ski. Her reaction was,
that's hilarious.