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August 5, 2025 11 mins
On today's P1 Podcast, Eddie tells us about his recent trip to the grocery store and a wild encounter he had with balls...
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I'm starting to become the new Emily where things are
happening to me now every time I go to the
grocery store. Come on over, Well, this is not cool
because you was understandable. You would go to the grocery
store almost every single day, so it's bound weird. Things
are bound to happen to you if you go that often.
I go once a week, but now weird things are

(00:23):
finding me every time I go to the grocery store. Now,
yesterday's was next level weird. We ain't done yet. It's
time for the one podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Year, completely uncensored and uncting filtered except for that part
the show's after show starts now.

Speaker 1 (00:49):
So I'm a once a week grocery shopper and it's
always on the weekend. Normally I like to do it
right out of the gate, on like a Saturday morning,
get it done. But it depends if I have baseball
or if I have something going on. It could be Sunday,
but then during football season, I'm never gonna go on
a Sunday. So usually Saturday is kind of my sweet

(01:10):
spot where I go grocery shop.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
What time, when you say more.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
After breakfast, I'll take a shower, so like ten thirty,
it's a good spot. Yeah, because it's like not the
morning crew and not the lunchtime crew. I'm like right
in the middle of the Yeah, I feel like it's
not too busy, sweet spot. So that's usually where you'll
find me at the grocery store. But yesterday was wild
because I was out of town all weekend, so I

(01:35):
didn't get my weekly grocery shopping trip, and so Graham
Nancy can't survive without me, so I gotta go grocery shopping.
She can't survive without her chocolate milk, So I gotta
get chocolate milk. By the way, am I going to
buy a true move here? You know? Expensive?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
That is?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
She wants to kick in, then I'll get her anything
she wants. It's on my dime. You can wow generic Wow.
Sorry listen, should you even be drinking chocolate milk? Probably not.
She's lucky she's even getting it.

Speaker 3 (02:05):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
So I gotta go to the grocer store mainly for
Gramma Nancy, but you know, we need some few things too,
And so I'm like, all right, well, there's a grocery
store pretty close to here at work. I'm just gonna
swing by here get things done. Ba being bata boom,
No big deal. Uh so it did. Was there's nobody there,
you know, on on a Monday afternoon, like there was
nobody there was great. So I flew through all the aisles,

(02:28):
no problem. A little confused because it's not my normal.
That's the grocery store. And you know what, also, I
hate what I hate grocery stores that have that aisle
in the middle of the store where it's like broken up.
I hate it too because you don't because they're different.
Like usually you're just gonna get one aisle of like
breakfast cereals on one side and then like whatever on

(02:49):
the other side. And this one it's broken up.

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Like I'm walking through the freezer section and the next
thing you know, I'm at the crackers.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
It's like, I don't I don't hate it.

Speaker 3 (02:58):
I don't care for that.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
This is one of the stores that has like the
break in the middle middle. And I will also get
concerned of like is somebody gonna come flying through there
with a cart? You's gonna take me out before way stop?
Head on swivel? Who so who he pushes their car?
Do you, Emma Emily to fly through that thing? So
I started going, I'm not paying attention, Emily, gonna take

(03:20):
me out? Okay, I take you out. So yeah, not
my favorite trip because I don't I don't know the
store as well, but I didn't have a huge list,
so I thought it would be pretty easy, no big
deal until I get to the checker. Now this is
when things got wild, and again I don't know how
to handle it. I brought up recently how I went

(03:40):
to the store and there was a guy that was
on his phone the entire time. The checker, He's on
his phone, texting the entire time. Meanwhile, my my groceries
are just sitting there, and I'm like, okay, well do
I like, am I supposed to bag the entire thing?
Are you not doing anything? Like? I didn't know what
to say. I ended up not saying anything. You guys
waited in on how you guys would handle all that stuff? Yeah,

(04:02):
how are you gonna handle this?

Speaker 3 (04:03):
What happened?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Now? So again kind of a younger dude, he's there,
nobody in line. I'm like, this is a score. I'm
gonna get right out of here, no big deal, load
up all my shit, wait for the thing, you know,
go to pay and he starts, you know, ringing in
my stuff. Luckily, since there's nobody there, they have a bagger.
I'm like, that's great, so I'm gonna take everything's taking

(04:25):
care of. This is gonna be an easy, easy, breezy thing.
So he's scanning my items, sending them on through. In
the middle of scanning my items, and I'm just standing
there waiting to pay or whatever, he does something that
I I I still can't believe it, Like my head
cannot wrap my head around it. Guys will know this

(04:46):
thing that you do. Women you don't understand this. Every
once in a while, you gotta adjust. Oh and when
I say idjust I'm talking about the bullies, okay, use
And so you'll see this in baseball a lot because
they're wearing a cup. You know, they go they go down.

(05:07):
The dude always touching their junk like Michael Jackson, almost.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
What are we adjusting? Did one like flop to the
other side?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Are they just uncomfortable?

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Do they like like a yo yo?

Speaker 4 (05:22):
That's crazy, you get like a wedgie or something.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
So it happens, You're underwear can get in weird, but
it doesn't feel good. And so yeah, you guys probably
if you have a thong, guy, you wouldn't understand this.
If you have a G string or whatever, you gotta
adjust and get out right. Actually, actually he's not wrong,
but it's not in that way. Okay, that didn't happen.

(05:47):
I have done that before. I actually just car in there.
You adjusted this, yeah, adjusted this morning? What it was
the problem?

Speaker 2 (05:53):
It just got a little bit.

Speaker 1 (05:55):
These are like a smaller underwear, and so I think
it got a little bit two in there in there good? No, okay,
And do.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
You pull it out from the front or do you
just pull the whole.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Female asking this question, I'm just like.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Pick it up.

Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh, just like that, okay, because the few times I
have water thong, all go like full like stick my
hand in the back and like pull the whole the
whole works.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
Wash your hand after that? Well, why would because you
just grabbed your musty ass.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
I didn't grab my ass.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
I went to the top of the G string like
and then you pulled it out.

Speaker 3 (06:25):
Wash my hands right now?

Speaker 4 (06:26):
I would, Yes, I would, I don't know, get that
musty hand out of my face.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
Caress your face, stop it so okay.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
If it's if it's hot out, you gotta kind of
adjust stuff because you know there's like things happening. Oh,
there's a lot. We got all out he stuff, so
there's a lot of stuff going on that probably does suck.
It is uncomfortable. This guy who's got all kinds of
stuff going on, he's got the big ass, he's got
the large testing the big ass.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
I got one testicle was bigger than the A and
I got a tiny waist.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
It's impossible. Tiny wiener was like an advertise. Very well,
I just said that's what I thought you were to say.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
I'm also a grower, not a show.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
So you're a lot of adjusting going on.

Speaker 4 (07:16):
A lot.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
It sucks.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
I always have my box of briefs riding up.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
I don't want to go.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
Briefs because because I heard it's not good for your
nuts with the tidy whities.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, I don't want to go tidy anyway.

Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yeah, I feel we're walking around.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Yeah, I'm a box of brief guy. And so every
once in a while, you gotta adjust. You got to
do stuff and whatever. In the fucking middle of this
guy picking up my food and scanning it, he goes
to his crotch adjusting the pants in the pants. No, no, no, no, no,
not inside. No, that's inside. That's calling the cops. No no, no, no,

(07:55):
that's that's that's tightly inappropriate. No over the pants, like
like he adjusted himself and then just kept with the
hand touching food products, scanning the stuff.

Speaker 4 (08:07):
You can't do that. What you got to do is
when you're in that situation, you kind of just jiggle
yes like.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
That, yes, like you've seen me do this stretch before, Emily,
remember you've asked me what the stretches where you kind
of do it, you know, kind of like not just.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
A little that'll do for at the time being, you
like lift your leg up and move it to the
side or something like you just try.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
To there's ways of doing it. You cannot first of
all in front of people and secondly handling food that's insane,
touch your crotch and then just go about business at
least turn around. Well no, because I mean you're scanning
like you can't, like I mean, I'm clearly it's from
me to you.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Or like pretend to drop dropped something.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
Just wait four minutes until you're it's not busy, that's
what it's not busy?

Speaker 1 (08:54):
What you Okay? Whoa dude? Shock. So he didn't pick
out a wedgie. He went front front.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
Cross, so you got you got, you know from.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Why do we have to have a No one gets
rashes in their crotch.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
No one's ever had a rash.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Come on this guy, I don't think so. Since I
was a kid, I've gotten it before. Really, since you're
I want to get that looked at.

Speaker 4 (09:19):
You know, kids, you sweat too much.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
See I'm not that. I'm not a sweater like you're
a big sweater.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
I'm a big sweater.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
So this guy goes full of just hand to crotch
and then just keeps grabbing my food and starts scanning it.
That's nuts. I'm standing there with with with my club
card ready to scan to scan, and I'm like like
for me to you, Scott, And I'm looking at him

(09:46):
like I just John dropped over and I look at
the bagger, like did you see that? Is that allowed?
I don't think you can? Like what the fuck? Like
you're touching my food now? Guy? Yeah, Now, what what
do you say? Can you say something in that position?
You know, like there's a lot of things that are
going through my mind that you can say. But what

(10:07):
I say, Hey, dude, you can't touch your balls and
then touch my food. That's crazy.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
I've hit a point in my life where I have
no problem saying something to younger people like if you're
how old this guy early twenties?

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Young young guy?

Speaker 4 (10:21):
So I have no problem saying something like whoa grabbing
the crotch?

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Uh?

Speaker 4 (10:24):
I got no problem to a younger guy. I got
zero problem younger guy in his twenties, no matter, I
don't give a ship. If it's a younger guy in
the twenties, I don't get I know.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
But no matter what, if you bring up him touching
his crotch, something bad is gonna come of that. Like
he he's gonna say either get defensive and be like no,
I didn't or or like like all I'm thinking is
where is this gonna go? And something? Yeah, like he's
gonna he's gonna blame me. I don't I don't know,

(10:57):
I don't know. I'm going I do it.

Speaker 4 (11:00):
I'm giving you ship kind of way. That's how I
I don't give you ship because I just saw.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
You grab your crotch. I don't like joking giving you
ship like I'm.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
Joking like that's that's how I bring it up.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I can't. I I don't feel like there's a
safe space for me to bring this up. But I'm
I'm now fixated on what's left on the conveyor belt,
and like, is this guy gonna touch something that's gonna
I'm gonna ingest, you know what I mean, something like that.
Obviously they're gonna be in bags, so I'm not too like,

(11:30):
I just don't know, like, what the fuck is this
guy doing? Like, luckily everything that was left is in packaging. Okay,
so but still do I want his ball, sweat or
everything else that's going on on my fucking food. I'm sorry.
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