May 21, 2025 • 34 mins
In the second hour of today's edition of The Dan Caplis Show, George Brauchler continues to fill in for Dan, as he discusses the Dems' Joe Biden cover-up.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Dan Caples and welcome to today's online podcast
edition of The Dan Caplis Show. Please be sure to
give us a five star rating if you'd be so kind,
and to subscribe, download, and listen to the show every
single day on your favorite podcast platform towards rocket filling
in for.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
The big Man, Dan Capitlis fighting for justice down there
in my normal workplace at the Douglas County Justice Center.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I'm i gotta applause you right there, George, because you
left us hanging on that one.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
You saw him? What was his demeanor? What was going
on there? I didn't get to see him. I knew
he was there. So Tom Mustin is our comms guy,
that's right. He goes, Hey, I ran into Dan in
the men's room, and I'm like, okay, that's awkward, because
you know, you don't want to hear what Like, I'm like,
what kind of conversation do you have, like manage shere,
colden here, or what are you doing? And so he said, hey,
(00:50):
Dan's in trial. I'm like, that's right, he's in trial.
And so he's in Courtroom five, which is kind of
directly down the hall from one of our doors. I
just was in a bun bunch of meetings and other
prep things today and I wasn't able to get over there.
But tomorrow I'm gonna slip in there and see what's
going on. I don't know who's trying the case with him.
I'm kind of hopeful it's like Tom Burns or John
(01:11):
Keunner or you know, Bob or Waheed. I don't know
one of the great attorneys on his team.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I've always kind of used this WWF analogy where you know,
you and I are roughly the same age. You watch
Wrestling Superstars on Saturday, and you didn't get the great
matches there, you got like Moondogs spot against Hulkogan.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Well, that's what it's like.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I don't know who these insurance companies are that look
at and they see Dan Kaplis Law and the ledger
you want, we're gonna go to court with that? Guy's like, no, settle,
just settle, you're better off. You'll save yourself some time,
some agony, some money. But why do they go loggerheads
against capitalis Law when he never loses.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I don't know. I think some of this though, you
see in other professional sports, like you know what flea
flicker is gonna work here or something like that, you
know what I mean, or where you see either there
are a lot of teams that intentionally walk Aaron Judge
and then every once in a while they're like, nah,
we're pitching at him with guys on base, you know,
(02:10):
in a close game, and then he makes you pay
and you're like, why did we do that again? You
know what was the thought process there? I feel like
it's this that they must think that no, no, no,
Dan lost a case once in this case, he's going
to get out over his skis, and then they get
into court and then at some point they have to
be like calling the adjuster and saying, I told you
this was going to happen. I told you this was
(02:31):
going to happen. Sometimes the attorneys don't get to make
the decision. It's the insurance company that does it so well.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And you know, you know this better than anybody, George.
I mean, you've been to that in the court room
doing that sort of thing. But sometimes the best cases
are the ones you don't go to trial with.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Right, No, you rarely go to trial on the strongest
cases in the sivil world. That that should be true.
Almost one hundred percent of the time. In the criminal world,
it's not true when there are cases like murder or
certain sex assaults on children, unless they're going to come
to the table and take some kind of a sentence
that subjects them to potentially the rest of their life
in prison. Otherwise, most of your strongest cases, you're just
(03:09):
coming up with a deal that gets this person some
justice and they move on. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Interestingly enough, I was kind of surprised that they ran
into each other in the bathroom because, you know, and
I have a ton of guy friends, because you know,
I don't have a lot of xxes.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I have x y's, you know, as my friendship.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Brice, I thought, when you said x exes, it's like
dudes you broke up with, but you guys got back together.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
No, I thought, yeah, no, I call them xxes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Okay, I'm not a big fan of women, but that's
another thing anyway. So we So what I'm saying is
all of my male friends basically say, when you go
into the bathroom, you don't look. You just stare ahead
and you do your business. Unfortunately, in the women's bathroom
(04:05):
it's like Sorority Day. People are on their phones peeing
in the stall next to you, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Like, you know that? How do you know that?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Because I have to pee next to that?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I know?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But are you looking at them? Like I presume the
women's room has like real privacy with the DA room falls.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
We have stalls, but you can hear them talking on
their phone.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Okay, talk is weird.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
The stalls, right, But here's my here's my pet peeve.
Do you honestly think they can't hear you pissing that's
from the same time as you're talking on the freaking phone.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I think they can, And I think it makes you
then wonder who's this person that's so close to them
in their lives that they can take care of business?
And you know that's that's by the way, best case
scenario is the running waters.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I've heard family calls and then you have to deal
with the whole flush, Like, how are you going to
do that?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You mute it. I've been there. You quickly mute it.
Hold you drop the flush?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Can it?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wait? It takes you out a few minutes to go
to the bath. Wait. Wait, Sometimes you're in the middle
of a harangue with one of the kids and you
can't you know what I mean, you can't just let
it in there because they'll never answer the phone again,
and you just have to keep going. I think the
other thing now that we're on the phone topic, and
I discovered this at the airport the other day, and
it reminds me of this all the time. The people
(05:29):
that have not discovered the bluetooth right like any sort
of air pods or earthing, and they walk around talking
into the end of their phone, holding it like it's
a piece of pizza, do you know what I mean,
Like they're getting ready to eat it, but they've got
it on speaker and they've got to talk right into it.
And I'm like, one, why, like why are you sharing
this with us? And who is it you don't care
(05:51):
about enough to give them some privacy in their comments.
I wonder if they know you're walking around New York
City with them blasting whatever they're saying about you.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Okay, this is the worst because I work on the
Martino Show, so I have to take four hours of
phone calls with people calling on speakerphone doesn't work, people,
worst doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Well, that's a good time for public service announcement here
on this program, which Kelly she struggles with this all
the time. Don't put her on bluetooth, don't put it
on speaker, especially when you're driving down the road.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
There's so much road noise. I'm not gonna be able
to hear you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
If you can't, you know, talk directly into your phone,
which is always preferable, then maybe.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Wait, how many times do I literally say, don't know
what you're saying because all I hear is there.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, and that's just to the people in your family.
That's very true. There's some real problems here. The bathroom thing.
I don't know about the icon tact stuff because I
have a standing policy.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I used to have a private bathroom in the eighteenth
jd D And now Amy's got it. And it was
behind some hidden Wayne's coated wall. I swear to you.
You push on this thing and it pops open into
a bathroom with a shower and a sink and a
toilet and all that was great stuff. On the other
side of the door when it closed, I had a
picture of Hillary Clinton that said ready, because if I've
ever needed to have the something scared out of me,
that would do it. And anyway, I don't have that
(07:12):
in the new office. It's a problem. And so because
we only have the one bathroom for the entire portion
of the office and we're talking a lot of people here,
I have instituted a policy where when I leave, no
one can make eye contact with me until I get
back to my office. It's too awkward. No listen here.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You just kind of threaded the needle there, because apparently
that was a rule with Hillary Clinton. I'm seeing more
of this information come out, like she did not want
to interact with any of the White House staff when
she was first Lady with Bill Clinton, and that was
one of the rules, like do not make eye contact
with the first Lady, And all these guys are on notabay,
they would clear the room, they wouldn't even want to
be in her path walking down the West Wing or whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I have to understand that I'm not like that in
the office. Otherwise, in fact, I'm much more likely to
generate some kind of an HR complaint because I'm so
engaging and huggy. But coming out of the men's room,
no eye contact. I mean, there just can't be. You don't.
That's it's too awkward for all involved. No eye contact. Oh,
you can't. And in fact, one of the great things
(08:15):
about having an office that is predominantly women because I
got to tell you, I have some of the hardest
core prosecutors out there, and they just have a ton
of them just happen to be women. It means that
there's less use for the men's room. This is the
hidden secret, folks. If you're an employment guy, they're a
business owner, an HR person. The hidden benefit is about
ninety percent of the time I walk into the men's room,
(08:36):
I'm the only dude in there, which you know, that's freeing, right, Like,
if you're a guy, that's freeing because now you're capable
of doing all sorts of things. But when another person could, well,
you know what I'm mean. What are you telling about
things like really just engaging in a comfortable sort of
set of behaviors that may result in noises. I don't know,
(08:58):
but I'm just saying, and I'm just saying, you feel
more hindered when you see a strange pair of shoes
walk up to the stall next to you and your gear, like,
is that my neighbor? Is that my boss? For me?
I don't ever answer that second one of the positive,
but is it something that's going to be awkward, and
you know they're feeling awkward because they're like, uh, oh,
I see a pair of shoes in there. Those look
like you know, the boss is Chuck Taylor's or something.
(09:21):
And then you know, you just there's no talking, like,
you don't talk through the stall. You can only talk
at the urinals together. You don't ever do the Elaine
benis you know, do you have a square to spare moment?
There's no talking through the stalls because it's just too awkward,
and you're looking and listening for changes in voice pitch
that reveal to you some sort of internal struggle with
their Hell, I don't know what.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
It is, but I don't know how you guys do this.
But they have like troughs.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Well, no, that's not like a ballpark sometimes, yeah, back
in the day, and that's terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, the troughs are okay. You just have to really
be conscious of your peripheral vision and where your head goes.
You can't not engage in that. No, no you can't, No,
you can't. You shouldn't. Now, like, you don't ever want
to hear a guy turn to another and say, is
that a bite mark or something like that? You know
you don't. That's wow somehow, somehow, and I blame Kelly
(10:11):
for this. We've completely derailed the Daan Capley. We were
talking about our serious stuff, and this is probably the
segment we don't put up in podcasts because this is
this is what we used to do in the morning.
This is a morning show con Now I don't know
what happened. People are tuning in to find out what
happened with Trump or what happened with Polis or whatever,
(10:32):
and instead it has devolved into By the way, everyday
experience is that. My guess is most of the dudes
driving on the road are like Ben there, George, Yeah,
it happens all the time. It happens all the time. Listen,
I've lost track of the clock here. By the way,
I should read there are some there are some texts here.
Let me do that because we love textures. What we
(10:55):
got a break? First? Did you say break? It's a
floating break, break, break break. I'm getting to use that
word flow listen because of the glare. The hand gesture
I'm getting from Kelly could be one of several things,
but only one of them is appropriate. So, Kelly, if
you could do that where there's no glare, so I
can understand what you're doing. Needs help.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Help.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
When we come back, I may or may not be
behind the microphone filling in for Dan Capbl's s her
number three O three seven one three eighty two fifty
five tax five seven seven three nine. It's me George
Brockler and the crew filling in for the mighty Dan Caplis.
(11:36):
And now back to the Dan Taplas Show podcast at
all that's laden for a whole bunch of other folks
filling in for Dan Caplis today as he's down in
Douglas County seeking a little justice. First client. I'll be
down there tomorrow. I'm gonna poke my head in and
see how he's doing. The text line which you can
hit us at five seven seven three nine. I'm gonna
go Dan Capls on this one in fuego.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But there's it runs the gamut. It runs the gamut.
Alexa tells us a couple of great things. One, you
were going to talk about Homiden al Ibrahim al Turkey's release. Yes,
I was, and I am, but something happened on the
way to that great topic. Now we've got nice This
is a nice one. George needs his own show. Thank
you George to solve the bathroom stall recognition post exit issue.
(12:21):
A great way to describe it. Steve Martin always took
an extra pair of shoes in with him for Ralph.
That's great. Another one from Alexi. I loved being the
only female in an office for nine months, I'll bet.
And there's also that great episode in the office by
the way, when the women I'll leave the office and
the dude check out the women's room. I don't know
if you've ever seen how much nicer it is so nice,
(12:43):
And in large part that's because no matter what men do,
growing up from boys into men with baseball, softballs, golf balls,
fill in the blank balls, our aim is always suspect.
There's something about you'd think there was wind sheer somehow
in between the guy and the earl. Because first off,
(13:05):
if you walk into the men's room at the airport,
if you ever drop anything, it's gone from you drop
a phone, a diamond ring, it's that's it. You. You
have to let it go because it is immediately infected
with the Andromeda strain. There's no fire this point. I
guess you do keep going the labor away.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Have you ever used a woman's bathroom?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Of course, of course you have. Look, i'm gonna I'm
gonna tell a story. It's a it's really a confession
of sorts to a crime that the statue ran on
decades ago. But at one point I was that guy
at the high school. And I remember this is all
pre internet, pre cell phone, all this stuff, But during
when all the fun was going on, I was the
(13:50):
guy that got gifted the keys to the high school
as a junior becoming a senior from the last guy
in the senior class that had them. So I had
the key to the high school. So one day, of course,
one night, a couple buddies and I decided, let's go
to the high school which shall remain nameless Bear Creek.
And we went there and let ourselves into the gym,
(14:14):
not to do anything like some of the idiot kids
would do today, Like we're not starting fires or vandalizing stuff,
do you know what I mean? Like we're shooting hoops
and we're going into the women's room to check it out.
Like what is so awesome about the women's locker room?
And honestly, it's smelled cleaner. I don't know how that
was possible, smelled cleaner, fresher, it felt you felt like
(14:34):
you were in a place you shouldn't be. So it
was a little titillating, you know, no pun intended. And
then at some point, man, this is God's honest truth.
Spidey sense was like, hey, I think we've done enough here,
let's head out. Well, it turns out that was genius
because as we leave and we're walking across a very
dark and unlit field to get to freedom, all of
a sudden lake would police show up boo, And it
(14:56):
turns out there's a silent alarm that I was not
told about where you have to if you come in
after certain hours, you've got to make a call to
a number and let them know that you know you're
good to go. I don't know if you have to
say the same for it or whatever. But the police
showed up, and I thought, my god, where would I
beat today if I was still shooting hoops you know
what I mean, with my buddies at one in the
(15:18):
morning in the gym at Bear Creek. I don't know,
but I've carried that with me because some of the
cases we get with juveniles, not like this fifteen year
old illegal immigrant Columbian killer there. But for the grace
of God, go I you know what I mean, Like,
we weren't there to do damage. We were there to
be goofy kids and all that stuff.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Nonetheless, well you didn't actually go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
No, No, I went into the bathroom. Did I do
anything in the bathroom? No? Man, I know, is that
what you're asking me about.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
It is a very double standard on this because women
have been known because it's always a longer line and
those types of things, and it's a lot easier for
you to just basically announce yourself in the men's back
room and say, okay, woman coming in, would you take
on that hygiene?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
And because you know, it's like do I want to
wait for a clean needle or just share the one
the dude in the alley has, like, yeah, it's it's
a shorter weight time, But the risk is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I have been that guy, the chivalrous one that has
stood guard and watch as a girl used the guy's
restroom at a bar and like Kelly's saying, the line
for the women's room very long, guy and woman comes up,
she's pretty good looking.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I'm like, yeah, well, there it is, you know, because
if she were not pretty good looking, you just said, hey,
get in line, go get in line.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
I've been to many bars with you. He's ever done
that for me?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Well, well, next topic, some more texts coming in here.
Ryan's comparison of capitalists being Hulk Hogan going up against
a jobber is brilliant. My favorite jobber from the eighties
was Leaping Lannie. Yes, he would read the poems and
throughout the Frisbeees. Andy Machio Man Savage is brother. That's right,
Thank you, DK. That's great news. Here's another one. Can
(17:05):
you explain to me, like I'm five years old, why I,
as a free citizen of Colorado, am required to follow
the laws on the books. Yet the elected servants that
lead the state can straight up be responsible for the
death of their constituents and the reason law enforcement can't
protect them. Yet they not only walk free, but give
themselves a raise without any repercussions. Well, the answer there,
(17:26):
I'm going to cut to the chase here is elections.
That's it. That's how we hold these people accountable. Now,
there's potential for recalling. We've seen that historically in a
couple places in Colorado, but by and large it's elections,
and as long as people are getting elected by the voters,
they can do a whole lot of damage. And we
see that all the time. The repercussion should be getting
turned out at the polls. But we don't skip here.
(17:47):
Once again, we're up on another. Are you kidding? How
much time do we have? That's the music playing you
out like you're at the Academy Awards. How many seconds?
Twenty seconds go? Twenty seconds? Listen when we come back,
I promise I'm going to do the al Turkey thing,
and of course I'm going to continue to read your
awesome text. I don't know what happened to this hour,
but I love it. Stick around, Big Daddy, George Brockler
and the crew filling in for the big Man, Dan
(18:08):
Caplis down in Douglas County. Stick around when we write
back at George Brocklick Dan Caplis Show. You're listening to
the Dan Kaplis Show podcast, and no offense, Tom if
you're listening. But we'd have to part company at that point.
I just it's as it is when you're the boss here.
(18:31):
I don't know how do we keep doing this? What
is going on you walk in, you can't ignore, like
if you're in a work setting, you can't ignore a person.
But what do you say to them? Like, hey, you know,
oh how are we doing? Or you know, champs slugger, Yeah,
what's going on? Prostate good? I mean what, I don't
even where do you go with the conversation? And then
(18:52):
it dies and then it becomes awkward as you two
are both kind of standing there like trying not to
breathe too loudly and whatever, And.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
This happen so larger restroom, men's room urinals and I
do this all I am. I am so meticulous. I'll
use a stall if I can. Yeah, if I can't,
I have a hard time because I'm on, it's out
in the open. You're the wild there. So I'll go
all the way on the.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
End, left or right, doesn't matter which.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And then another person will come in no other stall
is being used, and they come up like right next
to you.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Oh yeah, you had that happen. Yet not only have
I had that happen? Did you know there was an
app that teaches you how to do that? There's an
app with a series of urinals along the wall. Yeah,
you can download this this is years ago now, and
it gives you options like it presents you with a
person standing at a urinal, and then you have to
pick the correct urinal you can go to in order
to and the answer is always the one that's furthest away.
(19:45):
Do you know what I mean? Like you, because you're
just trying to avoid that sort of awkward thing.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
At least give one urinal in between if you can,
if you're able to do.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
So well, and you, guys, bee really loud.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
That's the other. Well, that's if we have healthy prostates
and shure.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Oh it's so loud.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, I mean, here's something else. As long as we're
here with the bathroom thing. I find it a bit ironic,
and this, of course will be in my stand up
routine once I finish it. I find it ironic that
there are guys out there who simply refuse to believe
in the efficacy of any mask for any purpose at
any time. They're the same dudes that will take that thin,
(20:24):
thin toilet paper and drape it across the toilet seat
as if it's going to protect them from cooties. Do
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Either or you just commit to the bed well, that's
it there, This is real.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
This is what. So my son's in a wheelchair. My
oldest boy, Tray, who's a superstar at CSU, he's in
a wheelchair. And I got to tell you, before Trey
was in a wheelchair, I'm certain I treated every handicaped
stall like no one's ever going to use it. It's
just an opportunity for me to stretch out, you know.
But now I don't. And so there have been times
like we're at the AMC and there are open stalls
(20:58):
next to it, but someone has decided I'm going to
take the luxuriously large handicap stall and they're in there. Well,
that screws my son. There's nowhere to go. And so
he pulls up and I know this dude can see
the wheels, and Tracey's kind of he's such a nice kid.
He's just like, well, what now? And so I grabbed
the top of the door and vigorously shake the door,
(21:20):
like let's go, buddy, you know, like, and I'm sure
this guy is completely dilated, you know, as he's thinking
to himself, what what has happened here? There's no way
I'm coming out because I've become that guy. So I'm
super sensitive to the handicap still thinks super sensitive to that.
That's another one. Yeah, I think about that. And so
(21:43):
here at iHeart.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Men's room, you have the two yearnals, you have the
regular kind of narrow stall, and then you have a
larger stall, which technically is a handicap one. But I'm
telling you, George, there's enough guys on this floor. If
one guy's using.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
This, Yeah, I'm just saying, and iHeart. I don't know
anyone in a wheelchair here that I've ever seen here. Yeah,
single time.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
We have much nicer bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
We know, we know the women do. Yes, I don't
get I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Have bathrooms on this floor. The women's are much better.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I think at the end of the day, it's it's
just gonna be. And maybe this gets us to this
other topic, the transgender thing. What do you do if
you're in there doing your thing, You're at the stall, Ryan,
and all of a sudden, you know, Bobby Sue comes
up and it's a little more Bobby than Sue. I mean,
what do you do to me? They come up next
to that, they're standing next to you, say anything.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I think in a men's room kind of anything goes
and we're prepared for anything. Where the real vulnerability to
me is is if a woman is in what is
supposed to be a women's restroom an intact male comes in.
I mean that is a threat. If Chas Bono comes
into the men's room with you and me, we're gonna
(22:56):
be like, well whatever, you know, But it's it's not
the same thing. Is the other way around?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
It really is, Kelly, men don't.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Care about women going into men's restrooms. Because I was
telling Ryan on the break, I've gone in Red Rocks
because the lines are so long.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's a recurring theme for you.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
I know, what can I do?
Speaker 4 (23:16):
But I have gone into the men's restroom and basically
I just you know, cover my eyes and I'm like, listen,
just need to pee, need to get to the stall.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And nobody cares.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
None of the men care. They're just like, okay, whatever, fee.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well and they got those new restams.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Have you been to Red Rocks recently, George, No, it's
a row of it's all gender neutral, and you just
walk in and they're all stalls and they're all like
doors and they're really you know, you just.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Walk in, guy, girl doesn't better privacy, and that's not
so bad the all gender bathroom though, But Kelly, I disagree.
I'm offended when women come into the men's room. You wise, well,
it's another person trying to compete for a limited space.
But two stage five, yeah, you know what I mean,
Like I just I just the idea that I'm not
going to be in amongst my own kind. Its real.
(24:05):
For first, usually.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
You guys are standing at the urinals, so it's like
a very very like a two second walk into a
stall and then you lock it. You sit, Yeah, your pee,
you're done.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Honestly, if you're looking for attention as a dude, you
back into the stall, and then people start wondering moonwalking,
you're doing something, you know what I mean, Like you
take a different angle, you're just your Oh my goodness,
you know what I mean, you're front facing the other way. Anyway,
Listen some texts that if anything here George needs his
own show, or okay, how comedy special? I like that.
That is this hour, That is this hour so far BUCkies.
(24:41):
Here's another one. BUCkies has the best bathrooms one hundred
percent true. And if you folks listening have not gone
up by twenty five go past that loves and all
that you get to that BUCkies. If you haven't treated
yourself to a trip through the BUCkies, you're robbing yourself
of an experience. There really is nothing else like it,
and that they spend real time making sure those bathrooms
are clean. They also exclude semi trucks. This is not
(25:05):
a truck stop that matters, that makes a big deal,
and they really are something special. Here's another one that's
not on our topic. I had a carget broken into
a year ago. They caught the guy with a credit
card and laptop of mine and lots of other things
still missing. Guy had an ankle monitor on that tracked
him to my house. Good lord, Parker PD decided not
to charge him. That's interesting. Haven't heard anything from them
(25:28):
or the victim advocate. And when I called, they blow
me off. I'm out a car and sentimental things in money.
Is there anything I can still do? Yes? Please re
engage with the Parker PD. Find out who's got the case,
what it's assigned to, and if there isn't any traction,
then you call the DA's office and you speak this
all sounds like felonious behavior, and you asked to speak
with someone in district court on the DA's who's there
(25:51):
in Parker? It turns out it's the guy that's talking
about bathrooms, right. I thought, yeah, that's this guy, So
that that doesn't sound like Parker to means on there
must be something else going on. But I'd love to know.
I'd love to try to help out. And sure enough,
here we are screaming up on another break. When's our
break right now? Good bless it? And I haven't gotten
to the Homeiden al Turkey thing. Look, this is just
(26:13):
gonna be a running gag every time I'm back, we'll say,
and next segment we'll talk about Al Turkey. Yes, and
no one's gonna remember unless they were part of this
particular show, which we will dub Bathroom Hour here on
the I hope Dan doesn't go back and listen to
the podcast, because folks, this will be my last time
filling in for Dan. If that happens, you can keep
the text going at five seven, seven three nine, or
(26:34):
you know what, if you want to do the bathroom
talk on the air, and I think we're all about
that this hour, give us a call. Three zero three
seven one three eighty two fifty five Steve Reams filling
in for Dan Caplas on The Dan Kapla Show and
now back to the Dan Kaplas Show podcast. And my goodness, folks,
(26:56):
if you haven't tried the text yet, today do it.
Seven three nine is the way to communicate with us,
unless you're gonna have the guts to call it three
or three seven one three eighty two fifty five. It's
hard to describe the topic. It was gonna be Al Turkey,
and it could still be. We have a few minutes left,
but I don't know if I could do it justice
at this point here is get to al Turkey. You
(27:18):
guys are slackers. I'm a I'm a plumber by trade,
and I've hung out in more women's restrooms than my
wife has HEO. Hello, another one, Al Turkey. Come on, man,
oh there is They're creating demand for the topic. Yeah,
it's tough. Let's do this with the Al Turkey thing.
I'll tell this quick story here. There's a guy named
Hamiden al Turkey who was over here in the country. Legally,
(27:41):
he was the son of the spiritual advisor to the
King of Saudi Arabia, and this particular guy liked to
keep his He is like a housekeeper lady. But she
had been on a hodge. She thought she was on
a hodge. She thought she was going to go with
the al Turkey family to America and learn something. Some
things test her faith. That kind of stuff ends. This
(28:02):
guy takes her passport it might have even expired, keeps
her hostage kind of down in the basement behind like
the heating system, the HVAC system, and then sexually assault
her at his will. One thing leads to another, and
there's an interest in wanting to arrest this guy, and
they got to get him outside of his house to
do it. And there's an FBI agent who goes up
to his house to lure him outside of his house
(28:24):
so that they can go in rescue this girl, and
you know, arrest this guy all this stuff with the
least amount of trouble. And he shows up dressed up
in a piece of delivery guy outfit, and they hook
this guy. This guy goes to trial and he gets
convicted of a whole bunch of things, including unlawful sexual contact,
a class four felony because he used physical force and
(28:47):
violence that was found by a jury, and then a
bunch of other things, extortion, theft, a whole bunch of
these other things that he gets sentenced to six years
to life in the Department of Corrections. Now this thing
shows up on my radar because sometime about when I'm
getting elected and sworn in the first time of the
eighteenth so it's around January of twenty thirteen. So some
years ago, there had been a treaty that was signed
(29:10):
by our President George H. Bush when he was in
office that allowed for the repatriation of foreign nationals who
are in our prison system under a couple conditions, one
of which was the executive director of the doc had
to sign off on the person being repatriated, and then
someone at DOJ, maybe Bureau of Prison, I don't know,
had to sign off and then the guy could be
(29:31):
whisked away to his prison. And that was the effort
that Hickenlooper was making our Now Senator Hickenlooper was desperate
for political reasons to want to get this guy repatriated
to Saudi Arabia. Well, we caught wind of it. The
prosecutor on the case, Chief Deputy da and Thom's a
fantastic prosecutor, comes to my office tells me about it.
We end up reaching out to the Denver Post. We
(29:53):
talked to a guy named Vincent Carroll. God we missed
that guy, and he does a big old editorial on this,
saying how horrible this is because this sex offender had
not ever agreed to go through sex offender treatment, which
you or I or Ryan or Kelly would be required
to do to end up becoming parole eligible. It's just
(30:14):
the way the system works when you're convicted of these
serious sex offenses. This guy, of course that I'm not
doing it, so he's sitting around in prison. And so
when Vince Carrol writes this thing, lo and Behold, the
executive director, a guy named Tom Clements, decides I'm not
going to sign it after all. So now this dude's
not going to be repatriated to go to Saudi Arabia
to serve out his sense in a country where they
(30:35):
won't let women drive. Instead, he's going to stay in
our prison system. A week later, a dude, oh god,
what was that guy's name, The guy who was Evan Ebel,
whose dad was close friends with Hick and Looper, gets
released from prison, probably on a mistake. He goes and
kills Nathan Leone, a piece of delivery guy, takes his outfit,
(30:57):
shows up in the doorway of Tom Clements's house and
assassinate him in his doorway, and then flees to Texas
where he's shot to death by Texas law enforcement authorities.
Good outcome, honestly for him, Horrible for Tom Clements. And
as a result, I have sheriff's deputy sitting on my
house for two weeks. Hick and Looper, who was the
governor at the time, had increased security, so did the
(31:19):
US attorneys off US attorney guy named John Walsho's now
the DA. Because nobody knew what this was about. They
thought it was about the editorial. So no one has
interest at this point as a Republican DA in revisiting
this issue. Nobody this guy has appealed, the appeals all failed.
There's nothing else going on for this guy. Well, guess
what happens. New DA comes to town, gets elected a
(31:42):
Democrat DA, the Democrat DA who has said things like
I just don't want to incarce eight people any more
for anything. And so lo and behold, the attorneys for
this al turkey thug, this rapist show up and file
something called a thirty five C motion. It's a motion
you can file at any time claiming that oh, I
had in affective assistance a counsel. It's a joke, but
(32:03):
it happens all the time. And in this particular case,
apparently twenty plus years later, or however long it was,
like twenty years later, he gets in front of a
judge who says, man, I'm not really sure his attorneys
knew what they were doing when they agreed to certain
jury instructions in certain charges. Are you kidding me? Twenty
years later, after appeals in the whole thing, judge says,
(32:26):
defendance Council may not have understood fundamental aspects of the
submitted jury instructions, particular that misdemeanor unlawful sexual contact could
be elevated to a felony if the jury found that
there's the use of force, intimidation or threats. What so
his own attorneys. This is how this crazy system works, folks.
Your defense attorneys who fight like hell to get you
(32:48):
acquitted and then lose, can show up later on and
with absolute impunity, at no risk to their licenses or anything.
They get a sited on the stand and say, man,
we were confused. We didn't know, We really didn't know
what we were doing. And then the defendant is in a
position to either get a new trial or as they
did here, go to the DA's office and say, give
(33:08):
us a deal so we don't have to do this
new trial. So the DA's office here caved in and
did something no Republican would have done in the preceding
twenty years and gave this guy a deal that allowed
him to get concurrence sentence never has to do sex
offender treatment like we would. And now this dude's living
large in Saudi Arabia, probably sexually assaulting other Saudi Arabian
(33:30):
women or other women from other Muslim countries who are there.
But that's the kind of joke where politics now have
bled into this system to the point where there is
no justice even if a jury comes back and find
someone guilty twenty years later, when the defense attorneys can
show up and say we didn't know what we were doing.
It seems to me that the law ought to say
(33:50):
if you show up and say I didn't do a
good job. I didn't do a good job and it
caused this guy to be convicted, you ought to stop
practicing law for some period of time, but we don't
do that. The law's messed up, folks. Hey, I'm hopeful
of coming back here and helping the Big Man cover
in the days that come, but we'll see about that.
My thanks to Ryan and Kelly. Fantastic job. Love the textures,
(34:11):
love the callers, stick around, and it's going to be
someone new and special tomorrow. Until then, filling in for
the big Guy, it's George Brockler for Dan Kaplis on
the Dan Caplas Show Peace
This is Dan Caples and welcome to today's online podcast
edition of The Dan Caplis Show. Please be sure to
give us a five star rating if you'd be so kind,
and to subscribe, download, and listen to the show every
single day on your favorite podcast platform towards rocket filling
in for.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
The big Man, Dan Capitlis fighting for justice down there
in my normal workplace at the Douglas County Justice Center.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I'm i gotta applause you right there, George, because you
left us hanging on that one.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
You saw him? What was his demeanor? What was going
on there? I didn't get to see him. I knew
he was there. So Tom Mustin is our comms guy,
that's right. He goes, Hey, I ran into Dan in
the men's room, and I'm like, okay, that's awkward, because
you know, you don't want to hear what Like, I'm like,
what kind of conversation do you have, like manage shere,
colden here, or what are you doing? And so he said, hey,
(00:50):
Dan's in trial. I'm like, that's right, he's in trial.
And so he's in Courtroom five, which is kind of
directly down the hall from one of our doors. I
just was in a bun bunch of meetings and other
prep things today and I wasn't able to get over there.
But tomorrow I'm gonna slip in there and see what's
going on. I don't know who's trying the case with him.
I'm kind of hopeful it's like Tom Burns or John
(01:11):
Keunner or you know, Bob or Waheed. I don't know
one of the great attorneys on his team.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I've always kind of used this WWF analogy where you know,
you and I are roughly the same age. You watch
Wrestling Superstars on Saturday, and you didn't get the great
matches there, you got like Moondogs spot against Hulkogan.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Well, that's what it's like.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I don't know who these insurance companies are that look
at and they see Dan Kaplis Law and the ledger
you want, we're gonna go to court with that? Guy's like, no, settle,
just settle, you're better off. You'll save yourself some time,
some agony, some money. But why do they go loggerheads
against capitalis Law when he never loses.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
I don't know. I think some of this though, you
see in other professional sports, like you know what flea
flicker is gonna work here or something like that, you
know what I mean, or where you see either there
are a lot of teams that intentionally walk Aaron Judge
and then every once in a while they're like, nah,
we're pitching at him with guys on base, you know,
(02:10):
in a close game, and then he makes you pay
and you're like, why did we do that again? You
know what was the thought process there? I feel like
it's this that they must think that no, no, no,
Dan lost a case once in this case, he's going
to get out over his skis, and then they get
into court and then at some point they have to
be like calling the adjuster and saying, I told you
this was going to happen. I told you this was
(02:31):
going to happen. Sometimes the attorneys don't get to make
the decision. It's the insurance company that does it so well.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
And you know, you know this better than anybody, George.
I mean, you've been to that in the court room
doing that sort of thing. But sometimes the best cases
are the ones you don't go to trial with.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Right, No, you rarely go to trial on the strongest
cases in the sivil world. That that should be true.
Almost one hundred percent of the time. In the criminal world,
it's not true when there are cases like murder or
certain sex assaults on children, unless they're going to come
to the table and take some kind of a sentence
that subjects them to potentially the rest of their life
in prison. Otherwise, most of your strongest cases, you're just
(03:09):
coming up with a deal that gets this person some
justice and they move on. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
Interestingly enough, I was kind of surprised that they ran
into each other in the bathroom because, you know, and
I have a ton of guy friends, because you know,
I don't have a lot of xxes.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
I have x y's, you know, as my friendship.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Brice, I thought, when you said x exes, it's like
dudes you broke up with, but you guys got back together.
Speaker 5 (03:39):
No, I thought, yeah, no, I call them xxes.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Okay, I'm not a big fan of women, but that's
another thing anyway. So we So what I'm saying is
all of my male friends basically say, when you go
into the bathroom, you don't look. You just stare ahead
and you do your business. Unfortunately, in the women's bathroom
(04:05):
it's like Sorority Day. People are on their phones peeing
in the stall next to you, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Like, you know that? How do you know that?
Speaker 5 (04:15):
Because I have to pee next to that?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I know?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
But are you looking at them? Like I presume the
women's room has like real privacy with the DA room falls.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
We have stalls, but you can hear them talking on
their phone.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Okay, talk is weird.
Speaker 4 (04:28):
The stalls, right, But here's my here's my pet peeve.
Do you honestly think they can't hear you pissing that's
from the same time as you're talking on the freaking phone.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I think they can, And I think it makes you
then wonder who's this person that's so close to them
in their lives that they can take care of business?
And you know that's that's by the way, best case
scenario is the running waters.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I've heard family calls and then you have to deal
with the whole flush, Like, how are you going to
do that?
Speaker 2 (05:05):
You mute it. I've been there. You quickly mute it.
Hold you drop the flush?
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Can it?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Wait? It takes you out a few minutes to go
to the bath. Wait. Wait, Sometimes you're in the middle
of a harangue with one of the kids and you
can't you know what I mean, you can't just let
it in there because they'll never answer the phone again,
and you just have to keep going. I think the
other thing now that we're on the phone topic, and
I discovered this at the airport the other day, and
it reminds me of this all the time. The people
(05:29):
that have not discovered the bluetooth right like any sort
of air pods or earthing, and they walk around talking
into the end of their phone, holding it like it's
a piece of pizza, do you know what I mean,
Like they're getting ready to eat it, but they've got
it on speaker and they've got to talk right into it.
And I'm like, one, why, like why are you sharing
this with us? And who is it you don't care
(05:51):
about enough to give them some privacy in their comments.
I wonder if they know you're walking around New York
City with them blasting whatever they're saying about you.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Okay, this is the worst because I work on the
Martino Show, so I have to take four hours of
phone calls with people calling on speakerphone doesn't work, people,
worst doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Well, that's a good time for public service announcement here
on this program, which Kelly she struggles with this all
the time. Don't put her on bluetooth, don't put it
on speaker, especially when you're driving down the road.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
There's so much road noise. I'm not gonna be able
to hear you.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
If you can't, you know, talk directly into your phone,
which is always preferable, then maybe.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
Wait, how many times do I literally say, don't know
what you're saying because all I hear is there.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Yeah, and that's just to the people in your family.
That's very true. There's some real problems here. The bathroom thing.
I don't know about the icon tact stuff because I
have a standing policy.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I used to have a private bathroom in the eighteenth
jd D And now Amy's got it. And it was
behind some hidden Wayne's coated wall. I swear to you.
You push on this thing and it pops open into
a bathroom with a shower and a sink and a
toilet and all that was great stuff. On the other
side of the door when it closed, I had a
picture of Hillary Clinton that said ready, because if I've
ever needed to have the something scared out of me,
that would do it. And anyway, I don't have that
(07:12):
in the new office. It's a problem. And so because
we only have the one bathroom for the entire portion
of the office and we're talking a lot of people here,
I have instituted a policy where when I leave, no
one can make eye contact with me until I get
back to my office. It's too awkward. No listen here.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
You just kind of threaded the needle there, because apparently
that was a rule with Hillary Clinton. I'm seeing more
of this information come out, like she did not want
to interact with any of the White House staff when
she was first Lady with Bill Clinton, and that was
one of the rules, like do not make eye contact
with the first Lady, And all these guys are on notabay,
they would clear the room, they wouldn't even want to
be in her path walking down the West Wing or whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I have to understand that I'm not like that in
the office. Otherwise, in fact, I'm much more likely to
generate some kind of an HR complaint because I'm so
engaging and huggy. But coming out of the men's room,
no eye contact. I mean, there just can't be. You don't.
That's it's too awkward for all involved. No eye contact. Oh,
you can't. And in fact, one of the great things
(08:15):
about having an office that is predominantly women because I
got to tell you, I have some of the hardest
core prosecutors out there, and they just have a ton
of them just happen to be women. It means that
there's less use for the men's room. This is the
hidden secret, folks. If you're an employment guy, they're a
business owner, an HR person. The hidden benefit is about
ninety percent of the time I walk into the men's room,
(08:36):
I'm the only dude in there, which you know, that's freeing, right, Like,
if you're a guy, that's freeing because now you're capable
of doing all sorts of things. But when another person could, well,
you know what I'm mean. What are you telling about
things like really just engaging in a comfortable sort of
set of behaviors that may result in noises. I don't know,
(08:58):
but I'm just saying, and I'm just saying, you feel
more hindered when you see a strange pair of shoes
walk up to the stall next to you and your gear, like,
is that my neighbor? Is that my boss? For me?
I don't ever answer that second one of the positive,
but is it something that's going to be awkward, and
you know they're feeling awkward because they're like, uh, oh,
I see a pair of shoes in there. Those look
like you know, the boss is Chuck Taylor's or something.
(09:21):
And then you know, you just there's no talking, like,
you don't talk through the stall. You can only talk
at the urinals together. You don't ever do the Elaine
benis you know, do you have a square to spare moment?
There's no talking through the stalls because it's just too awkward,
and you're looking and listening for changes in voice pitch
that reveal to you some sort of internal struggle with
their Hell, I don't know what.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
It is, but I don't know how you guys do this.
But they have like troughs.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Well, no, that's not like a ballpark sometimes, yeah, back
in the day, and that's terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah, the troughs are okay. You just have to really
be conscious of your peripheral vision and where your head goes.
You can't not engage in that. No, no you can't, No,
you can't. You shouldn't. Now, like, you don't ever want
to hear a guy turn to another and say, is
that a bite mark or something like that? You know
you don't. That's wow somehow, somehow, and I blame Kelly
(10:11):
for this. We've completely derailed the Daan Capley. We were
talking about our serious stuff, and this is probably the
segment we don't put up in podcasts because this is
this is what we used to do in the morning.
This is a morning show con Now I don't know
what happened. People are tuning in to find out what
happened with Trump or what happened with Polis or whatever,
(10:32):
and instead it has devolved into By the way, everyday
experience is that. My guess is most of the dudes
driving on the road are like Ben there, George, Yeah,
it happens all the time. It happens all the time. Listen,
I've lost track of the clock here. By the way,
I should read there are some there are some texts here.
Let me do that because we love textures. What we
(10:55):
got a break? First? Did you say break? It's a
floating break, break, break break. I'm getting to use that
word flow listen because of the glare. The hand gesture
I'm getting from Kelly could be one of several things,
but only one of them is appropriate. So, Kelly, if
you could do that where there's no glare, so I
can understand what you're doing. Needs help.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Help.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
When we come back, I may or may not be
behind the microphone filling in for Dan Capbl's s her
number three O three seven one three eighty two fifty
five tax five seven seven three nine. It's me George
Brockler and the crew filling in for the mighty Dan Caplis.
(11:36):
And now back to the Dan Taplas Show podcast at
all that's laden for a whole bunch of other folks
filling in for Dan Caplis today as he's down in
Douglas County seeking a little justice. First client. I'll be
down there tomorrow. I'm gonna poke my head in and
see how he's doing. The text line which you can
hit us at five seven seven three nine. I'm gonna
go Dan Capls on this one in fuego.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
But there's it runs the gamut. It runs the gamut.
Alexa tells us a couple of great things. One, you
were going to talk about Homiden al Ibrahim al Turkey's release. Yes,
I was, and I am, but something happened on the
way to that great topic. Now we've got nice This
is a nice one. George needs his own show. Thank
you George to solve the bathroom stall recognition post exit issue.
(12:21):
A great way to describe it. Steve Martin always took
an extra pair of shoes in with him for Ralph.
That's great. Another one from Alexi. I loved being the
only female in an office for nine months, I'll bet.
And there's also that great episode in the office by
the way, when the women I'll leave the office and
the dude check out the women's room. I don't know
if you've ever seen how much nicer it is so nice,
(12:43):
And in large part that's because no matter what men do,
growing up from boys into men with baseball, softballs, golf balls,
fill in the blank balls, our aim is always suspect.
There's something about you'd think there was wind sheer somehow
in between the guy and the earl. Because first off,
(13:05):
if you walk into the men's room at the airport,
if you ever drop anything, it's gone from you drop
a phone, a diamond ring, it's that's it. You. You
have to let it go because it is immediately infected
with the Andromeda strain. There's no fire this point. I
guess you do keep going the labor away.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
Have you ever used a woman's bathroom?
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Of course, of course you have. Look, i'm gonna I'm
gonna tell a story. It's a it's really a confession
of sorts to a crime that the statue ran on
decades ago. But at one point I was that guy
at the high school. And I remember this is all
pre internet, pre cell phone, all this stuff, But during
when all the fun was going on, I was the
(13:50):
guy that got gifted the keys to the high school
as a junior becoming a senior from the last guy
in the senior class that had them. So I had
the key to the high school. So one day, of course,
one night, a couple buddies and I decided, let's go
to the high school which shall remain nameless Bear Creek.
And we went there and let ourselves into the gym,
(14:14):
not to do anything like some of the idiot kids
would do today, Like we're not starting fires or vandalizing stuff,
do you know what I mean? Like we're shooting hoops
and we're going into the women's room to check it out.
Like what is so awesome about the women's locker room?
And honestly, it's smelled cleaner. I don't know how that
was possible, smelled cleaner, fresher, it felt you felt like
(14:34):
you were in a place you shouldn't be. So it
was a little titillating, you know, no pun intended. And
then at some point, man, this is God's honest truth.
Spidey sense was like, hey, I think we've done enough here,
let's head out. Well, it turns out that was genius
because as we leave and we're walking across a very
dark and unlit field to get to freedom, all of
a sudden lake would police show up boo, And it
(14:56):
turns out there's a silent alarm that I was not
told about where you have to if you come in
after certain hours, you've got to make a call to
a number and let them know that you know you're
good to go. I don't know if you have to
say the same for it or whatever. But the police
showed up, and I thought, my god, where would I
beat today if I was still shooting hoops you know
what I mean, with my buddies at one in the
(15:18):
morning in the gym at Bear Creek. I don't know,
but I've carried that with me because some of the
cases we get with juveniles, not like this fifteen year
old illegal immigrant Columbian killer there. But for the grace
of God, go I you know what I mean, Like,
we weren't there to do damage. We were there to
be goofy kids and all that stuff.
Speaker 4 (15:36):
Nonetheless, well you didn't actually go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
No, No, I went into the bathroom. Did I do
anything in the bathroom? No? Man, I know, is that
what you're asking me about.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
It is a very double standard on this because women
have been known because it's always a longer line and
those types of things, and it's a lot easier for
you to just basically announce yourself in the men's back
room and say, okay, woman coming in, would you take
on that hygiene?
Speaker 2 (16:05):
And because you know, it's like do I want to
wait for a clean needle or just share the one
the dude in the alley has, like, yeah, it's it's
a shorter weight time, But the risk is crazy.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I have been that guy, the chivalrous one that has
stood guard and watch as a girl used the guy's
restroom at a bar and like Kelly's saying, the line
for the women's room very long, guy and woman comes up,
she's pretty good looking.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
I'm like, yeah, well, there it is, you know, because
if she were not pretty good looking, you just said, hey,
get in line, go get in line.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
I've been to many bars with you. He's ever done
that for me?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Well, well, next topic, some more texts coming in here.
Ryan's comparison of capitalists being Hulk Hogan going up against
a jobber is brilliant. My favorite jobber from the eighties
was Leaping Lannie. Yes, he would read the poems and
throughout the Frisbeees. Andy Machio Man Savage is brother. That's right,
Thank you, DK. That's great news. Here's another one. Can
(17:05):
you explain to me, like I'm five years old, why I,
as a free citizen of Colorado, am required to follow
the laws on the books. Yet the elected servants that
lead the state can straight up be responsible for the
death of their constituents and the reason law enforcement can't
protect them. Yet they not only walk free, but give
themselves a raise without any repercussions. Well, the answer there,
(17:26):
I'm going to cut to the chase here is elections.
That's it. That's how we hold these people accountable. Now,
there's potential for recalling. We've seen that historically in a
couple places in Colorado, but by and large it's elections,
and as long as people are getting elected by the voters,
they can do a whole lot of damage. And we
see that all the time. The repercussion should be getting
turned out at the polls. But we don't skip here.
(17:47):
Once again, we're up on another. Are you kidding? How
much time do we have? That's the music playing you
out like you're at the Academy Awards. How many seconds?
Twenty seconds go? Twenty seconds? Listen when we come back,
I promise I'm going to do the al Turkey thing,
and of course I'm going to continue to read your
awesome text. I don't know what happened to this hour,
but I love it. Stick around, Big Daddy, George Brockler
and the crew filling in for the big Man, Dan
(18:08):
Caplis down in Douglas County. Stick around when we write
back at George Brocklick Dan Caplis Show. You're listening to
the Dan Kaplis Show podcast, and no offense, Tom if
you're listening. But we'd have to part company at that point.
I just it's as it is when you're the boss here.
(18:31):
I don't know how do we keep doing this? What
is going on you walk in, you can't ignore, like
if you're in a work setting, you can't ignore a person.
But what do you say to them? Like, hey, you know,
oh how are we doing? Or you know, champs slugger, Yeah,
what's going on? Prostate good? I mean what, I don't
even where do you go with the conversation? And then
(18:52):
it dies and then it becomes awkward as you two
are both kind of standing there like trying not to
breathe too loudly and whatever, And.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
This happen so larger restroom, men's room urinals and I
do this all I am. I am so meticulous. I'll
use a stall if I can. Yeah, if I can't,
I have a hard time because I'm on, it's out
in the open. You're the wild there. So I'll go
all the way on the.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
End, left or right, doesn't matter which.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
And then another person will come in no other stall
is being used, and they come up like right next
to you.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Oh yeah, you had that happen. Yet not only have
I had that happen? Did you know there was an
app that teaches you how to do that? There's an
app with a series of urinals along the wall. Yeah,
you can download this this is years ago now, and
it gives you options like it presents you with a
person standing at a urinal, and then you have to
pick the correct urinal you can go to in order
to and the answer is always the one that's furthest away.
(19:45):
Do you know what I mean? Like you, because you're
just trying to avoid that sort of awkward thing.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
At least give one urinal in between if you can,
if you're able to do.
Speaker 5 (19:53):
So well, and you, guys, bee really loud.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
That's the other. Well, that's if we have healthy prostates
and shure.
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Oh it's so loud.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, I mean, here's something else. As long as we're
here with the bathroom thing. I find it a bit ironic,
and this, of course will be in my stand up
routine once I finish it. I find it ironic that
there are guys out there who simply refuse to believe
in the efficacy of any mask for any purpose at
any time. They're the same dudes that will take that thin,
(20:24):
thin toilet paper and drape it across the toilet seat
as if it's going to protect them from cooties. Do
you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Either or you just commit to the bed well, that's
it there, This is real.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
This is what. So my son's in a wheelchair. My
oldest boy, Tray, who's a superstar at CSU, he's in
a wheelchair. And I got to tell you, before Trey
was in a wheelchair, I'm certain I treated every handicaped
stall like no one's ever going to use it. It's
just an opportunity for me to stretch out, you know.
But now I don't. And so there have been times
like we're at the AMC and there are open stalls
(20:58):
next to it, but someone has decided I'm going to
take the luxuriously large handicap stall and they're in there. Well,
that screws my son. There's nowhere to go. And so
he pulls up and I know this dude can see
the wheels, and Tracey's kind of he's such a nice kid.
He's just like, well, what now? And so I grabbed
the top of the door and vigorously shake the door,
(21:20):
like let's go, buddy, you know, like, and I'm sure
this guy is completely dilated, you know, as he's thinking
to himself, what what has happened here? There's no way
I'm coming out because I've become that guy. So I'm
super sensitive to the handicap still thinks super sensitive to that.
That's another one. Yeah, I think about that. And so
(21:43):
here at iHeart.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
Men's room, you have the two yearnals, you have the
regular kind of narrow stall, and then you have a
larger stall, which technically is a handicap one. But I'm
telling you, George, there's enough guys on this floor. If
one guy's using.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
This, Yeah, I'm just saying, and iHeart. I don't know
anyone in a wheelchair here that I've ever seen here. Yeah,
single time.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
We have much nicer bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
We know, we know the women do. Yes, I don't
get I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Have bathrooms on this floor. The women's are much better.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I think at the end of the day, it's it's
just gonna be. And maybe this gets us to this
other topic, the transgender thing. What do you do if
you're in there doing your thing, You're at the stall, Ryan,
and all of a sudden, you know, Bobby Sue comes
up and it's a little more Bobby than Sue. I mean,
what do you do to me? They come up next
to that, they're standing next to you, say anything.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
I think in a men's room kind of anything goes
and we're prepared for anything. Where the real vulnerability to
me is is if a woman is in what is
supposed to be a women's restroom an intact male comes in.
I mean that is a threat. If Chas Bono comes
into the men's room with you and me, we're gonna
(22:56):
be like, well whatever, you know, But it's it's not
the same thing. Is the other way around?
Speaker 2 (22:59):
It really is, Kelly, men don't.
Speaker 4 (23:01):
Care about women going into men's restrooms. Because I was
telling Ryan on the break, I've gone in Red Rocks
because the lines are so long.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It's a recurring theme for you.
Speaker 5 (23:13):
I know, what can I do?
Speaker 4 (23:16):
But I have gone into the men's restroom and basically
I just you know, cover my eyes and I'm like, listen,
just need to pee, need to get to the stall.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
And nobody cares.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
None of the men care. They're just like, okay, whatever, fee.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Well and they got those new restams.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Have you been to Red Rocks recently, George, No, it's
a row of it's all gender neutral, and you just
walk in and they're all stalls and they're all like
doors and they're really you know, you just.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Walk in, guy, girl doesn't better privacy, and that's not
so bad the all gender bathroom though, But Kelly, I disagree.
I'm offended when women come into the men's room. You wise, well,
it's another person trying to compete for a limited space.
But two stage five, yeah, you know what I mean,
Like I just I just the idea that I'm not
going to be in amongst my own kind. Its real.
(24:05):
For first, usually.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
You guys are standing at the urinals, so it's like
a very very like a two second walk into a
stall and then you lock it. You sit, Yeah, your pee,
you're done.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Honestly, if you're looking for attention as a dude, you
back into the stall, and then people start wondering moonwalking,
you're doing something, you know what I mean, Like you
take a different angle, you're just your Oh my goodness,
you know what I mean, you're front facing the other way. Anyway,
Listen some texts that if anything here George needs his
own show, or okay, how comedy special? I like that.
That is this hour, That is this hour so far BUCkies.
(24:41):
Here's another one. BUCkies has the best bathrooms one hundred
percent true. And if you folks listening have not gone
up by twenty five go past that loves and all
that you get to that BUCkies. If you haven't treated
yourself to a trip through the BUCkies, you're robbing yourself
of an experience. There really is nothing else like it,
and that they spend real time making sure those bathrooms
are clean. They also exclude semi trucks. This is not
(25:05):
a truck stop that matters, that makes a big deal,
and they really are something special. Here's another one that's
not on our topic. I had a carget broken into
a year ago. They caught the guy with a credit
card and laptop of mine and lots of other things
still missing. Guy had an ankle monitor on that tracked
him to my house. Good lord, Parker PD decided not
to charge him. That's interesting. Haven't heard anything from them
(25:28):
or the victim advocate. And when I called, they blow
me off. I'm out a car and sentimental things in money.
Is there anything I can still do? Yes? Please re
engage with the Parker PD. Find out who's got the case,
what it's assigned to, and if there isn't any traction,
then you call the DA's office and you speak this
all sounds like felonious behavior, and you asked to speak
with someone in district court on the DA's who's there
(25:51):
in Parker? It turns out it's the guy that's talking
about bathrooms, right. I thought, yeah, that's this guy, So
that that doesn't sound like Parker to means on there
must be something else going on. But I'd love to know.
I'd love to try to help out. And sure enough,
here we are screaming up on another break. When's our
break right now? Good bless it? And I haven't gotten
to the Homeiden al Turkey thing. Look, this is just
(26:13):
gonna be a running gag every time I'm back, we'll say,
and next segment we'll talk about Al Turkey. Yes, and
no one's gonna remember unless they were part of this
particular show, which we will dub Bathroom Hour here on
the I hope Dan doesn't go back and listen to
the podcast, because folks, this will be my last time
filling in for Dan. If that happens, you can keep
the text going at five seven, seven three nine, or
(26:34):
you know what, if you want to do the bathroom
talk on the air, and I think we're all about
that this hour, give us a call. Three zero three
seven one three eighty two fifty five Steve Reams filling
in for Dan Caplas on The Dan Kapla Show and
now back to the Dan Kaplas Show podcast. And my goodness, folks,
(26:56):
if you haven't tried the text yet, today do it.
Seven three nine is the way to communicate with us,
unless you're gonna have the guts to call it three
or three seven one three eighty two fifty five. It's
hard to describe the topic. It was gonna be Al Turkey,
and it could still be. We have a few minutes left,
but I don't know if I could do it justice
at this point here is get to al Turkey. You
(27:18):
guys are slackers. I'm a I'm a plumber by trade,
and I've hung out in more women's restrooms than my
wife has HEO. Hello, another one, Al Turkey. Come on, man,
oh there is They're creating demand for the topic. Yeah,
it's tough. Let's do this with the Al Turkey thing.
I'll tell this quick story here. There's a guy named
Hamiden al Turkey who was over here in the country. Legally,
(27:41):
he was the son of the spiritual advisor to the
King of Saudi Arabia, and this particular guy liked to
keep his He is like a housekeeper lady. But she
had been on a hodge. She thought she was on
a hodge. She thought she was going to go with
the al Turkey family to America and learn something. Some
things test her faith. That kind of stuff ends. This
(28:02):
guy takes her passport it might have even expired, keeps
her hostage kind of down in the basement behind like
the heating system, the HVAC system, and then sexually assault
her at his will. One thing leads to another, and
there's an interest in wanting to arrest this guy, and
they got to get him outside of his house to
do it. And there's an FBI agent who goes up
to his house to lure him outside of his house
(28:24):
so that they can go in rescue this girl, and
you know, arrest this guy all this stuff with the
least amount of trouble. And he shows up dressed up
in a piece of delivery guy outfit, and they hook
this guy. This guy goes to trial and he gets
convicted of a whole bunch of things, including unlawful sexual contact,
a class four felony because he used physical force and
(28:47):
violence that was found by a jury, and then a
bunch of other things, extortion, theft, a whole bunch of
these other things that he gets sentenced to six years
to life in the Department of Corrections. Now this thing
shows up on my radar because sometime about when I'm
getting elected and sworn in the first time of the
eighteenth so it's around January of twenty thirteen. So some
years ago, there had been a treaty that was signed
(29:10):
by our President George H. Bush when he was in
office that allowed for the repatriation of foreign nationals who
are in our prison system under a couple conditions, one
of which was the executive director of the doc had
to sign off on the person being repatriated, and then
someone at DOJ, maybe Bureau of Prison, I don't know,
had to sign off and then the guy could be
(29:31):
whisked away to his prison. And that was the effort
that Hickenlooper was making our Now Senator Hickenlooper was desperate
for political reasons to want to get this guy repatriated
to Saudi Arabia. Well, we caught wind of it. The
prosecutor on the case, Chief Deputy da and Thom's a
fantastic prosecutor, comes to my office tells me about it.
We end up reaching out to the Denver Post. We
(29:53):
talked to a guy named Vincent Carroll. God we missed
that guy, and he does a big old editorial on this,
saying how horrible this is because this sex offender had
not ever agreed to go through sex offender treatment, which
you or I or Ryan or Kelly would be required
to do to end up becoming parole eligible. It's just
(30:14):
the way the system works when you're convicted of these
serious sex offenses. This guy, of course that I'm not
doing it, so he's sitting around in prison. And so
when Vince Carrol writes this thing, lo and Behold, the
executive director, a guy named Tom Clements, decides I'm not
going to sign it after all. So now this dude's
not going to be repatriated to go to Saudi Arabia
to serve out his sense in a country where they
(30:35):
won't let women drive. Instead, he's going to stay in
our prison system. A week later, a dude, oh god,
what was that guy's name, The guy who was Evan Ebel,
whose dad was close friends with Hick and Looper, gets
released from prison, probably on a mistake. He goes and
kills Nathan Leone, a piece of delivery guy, takes his outfit,
(30:57):
shows up in the doorway of Tom Clements's house and
assassinate him in his doorway, and then flees to Texas
where he's shot to death by Texas law enforcement authorities.
Good outcome, honestly for him, Horrible for Tom Clements. And
as a result, I have sheriff's deputy sitting on my
house for two weeks. Hick and Looper, who was the
governor at the time, had increased security, so did the
(31:19):
US attorneys off US attorney guy named John Walsho's now
the DA. Because nobody knew what this was about. They
thought it was about the editorial. So no one has
interest at this point as a Republican DA in revisiting
this issue. Nobody this guy has appealed, the appeals all failed.
There's nothing else going on for this guy. Well, guess
what happens. New DA comes to town, gets elected a
(31:42):
Democrat DA, the Democrat DA who has said things like
I just don't want to incarce eight people any more
for anything. And so lo and behold, the attorneys for
this al turkey thug, this rapist show up and file
something called a thirty five C motion. It's a motion
you can file at any time claiming that oh, I
had in affective assistance a counsel. It's a joke, but
(32:03):
it happens all the time. And in this particular case,
apparently twenty plus years later, or however long it was,
like twenty years later, he gets in front of a
judge who says, man, I'm not really sure his attorneys
knew what they were doing when they agreed to certain
jury instructions in certain charges. Are you kidding me? Twenty
years later, after appeals in the whole thing, judge says,
(32:26):
defendance Council may not have understood fundamental aspects of the
submitted jury instructions, particular that misdemeanor unlawful sexual contact could
be elevated to a felony if the jury found that
there's the use of force, intimidation or threats. What so
his own attorneys. This is how this crazy system works, folks.
Your defense attorneys who fight like hell to get you
(32:48):
acquitted and then lose, can show up later on and
with absolute impunity, at no risk to their licenses or anything.
They get a sited on the stand and say, man,
we were confused. We didn't know, We really didn't know
what we were doing. And then the defendant is in a
position to either get a new trial or as they
did here, go to the DA's office and say, give
(33:08):
us a deal so we don't have to do this
new trial. So the DA's office here caved in and
did something no Republican would have done in the preceding
twenty years and gave this guy a deal that allowed
him to get concurrence sentence never has to do sex
offender treatment like we would. And now this dude's living
large in Saudi Arabia, probably sexually assaulting other Saudi Arabian
(33:30):
women or other women from other Muslim countries who are there.
But that's the kind of joke where politics now have
bled into this system to the point where there is
no justice even if a jury comes back and find
someone guilty twenty years later, when the defense attorneys can
show up and say we didn't know what we were doing.
It seems to me that the law ought to say
(33:50):
if you show up and say I didn't do a
good job. I didn't do a good job and it
caused this guy to be convicted, you ought to stop
practicing law for some period of time, but we don't
do that. The law's messed up, folks. Hey, I'm hopeful
of coming back here and helping the Big Man cover
in the days that come, but we'll see about that.
My thanks to Ryan and Kelly. Fantastic job. Love the textures,
(34:11):
love the callers, stick around, and it's going to be
someone new and special tomorrow. Until then, filling in for
the big Guy, it's George Brockler for Dan Kaplis on
the Dan Caplas Show Peace
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