2-14-25 *INTERVIEW* Best-Selling Author/Former Marine Elliot Ackerman: Dressing Well

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Elliott Ackerman served in the United States Marines then in

(00:04):
the CIA. He's a best selling author, including with my
good friend and friend of the show, Admiral James Stavridis, you,
of course know twenty thirty four and twenty fifty four
and what is it twenty eighty four coming soon? And
Elliott just wrote a fabulous piece about none of that
for The Free Press entitled how to Dress like a
Gentleman and why, Hi Elliot. Good to talk to.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
You, Hey, great to be with you again. Ross.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
So why did you decide the world needed to read
about Why about the importance of dressing well and carefully? Oh?

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, Tebe Cannon. Actually, I was at a cocktail party
with my friend Barry Weiss, who's the editor of the
Free Press, and she complimented me on my jacket and
I mentioned to her that it was actually part of
the suit that my father had bought almost thirty years
before that he got retailered for me and then now
I still wear. She said, well, I'd love if you

(01:00):
wrote something about that. So it kind of led to
just wanting to write a piece about, you know, the
importance of you know, just how we dress knowly, how
we dress, but how we present ourselves. And you know,
I'm not really a style correspondal course, per se. I
think it's you know, it's worth being intentional about how
each of us step out into the world, whether you're
going to do that in a in a suit or

(01:21):
in a nice pair of jeans or whatever. Just you know,
look like you got a plan.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
So before we talk a little more about looking like
you got a plan, tell us a little more about
your dad in this context.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Well, you know, I served in the Marines for about
eight years, and when I got out of the service,
one of the big points of my transition was that
might sound like a small thing, but it self felt
daunting at the time. Was my entire adult life. I
had always known exactly what I was going to wear
work every day, and it was usually stud of utilities
and combat boosts. And suddenly, as I entered the Intelligence Service,

(01:56):
I was going to have to wear a suit to
work every day, and I didn't really know how to
pull that off. So my father, who was a you know,
pretty well dressed guy and you know, like like ticking
out my suits, took me into his closet and said,
I want to give you a gift as you transition
into this news phase your life. You pick out four
of my suits and we'll go to my tailor and
we'll get them kind of taken in for you so
they fit you properly. And that was his gift to me.

(02:18):
And I wore those suits when I worked at CIA,
and I wear them to this day. And as I mentioned,
they were about thirty years old. So but you know,
when you buy something that's of a high quality and
it's built to last, you know you have it for
a very long time and it has a lot of value,
as those suits up to me. So I want to
write a little bit about that.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
You pull no punches when it comes to criticizing men
who you think let all men down. Mark Zuckerberg and
John Fetterman is like the poster child for not dressing well.
What do you want to say to men who seem
not to care how they dress? Well?

Speaker 2 (02:55):
I just think we can do better. I mean, you know,
I'm not necessarily to lex here to lecture anybody, but
I kind of find and those decisions puzzling. You know,
you know, actually you know on policy issues, I you know,
I agree with Dr Shutterment on a variety of things,
but I don't he's a bad guy. But I think
it's a bad choice to show up to the inauguration,
you know, wearing wearing your workout clothes, you know, or
in the case of some of these other folks, to

(03:15):
you know, just again look like they don't have a plan,
look like there's sort of no intentionality, and how they're
presenting themselves. So you know, we're we're at a moment
right now where you know, you might say, kind of
men are on the rise again, and so the question is,
you know, how are we going to step out into
the world. I think it's good to step out in
the world and not looking like a slob. So, however,
you express that idea of not looking like a slob

(03:38):
as a man, if you're listening, I would encourage you
to do that so you don't have to dress just
like me. But I would say, you know, again, it
looks like you got a plan. Don't be a slob.

Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more. It's I try
not to be too judgy, but sometimes you see someone
who is dressed really wrongly for the occasion, and I
wonder if they're lazy, they're trying to send some kind
of message that maybe isn't really a message that needed
to be sent. I don't know what they're thinking. Is

(04:06):
you talk about in this piece, you talk about what
you witnessed at a restaurant in Paris.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
I was in I was recently in Paris with my
wife and we sat down to have dinners, the two
of us, and next to us was this young couple.
And you know, the lady was, you know, dressed very lovely,
her hair was done up, she you know, was wearing
a nice skirt in the blouse and sand Across from
her was this young guy and he was basically wearing
tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt. And you know, I don't
speak French, so I can understand what they were talking about,

(04:35):
but it didn't seem like they were having a great time.
And I kind of around the moment they were eating
their entree, she sort of leaned over and flicked the
draw string on his hooded sweatshirt, and then they kind
of didn't have dessert and got up and left. And
you know, one of the reasons I think, you know,
it's important, particularly you know, as men, to think about
how we step out into the world is not just

(04:58):
for ourselves or to look at each other, but also
for younger men. So I give them a model of
how to be. And you know, I have sons and
they don't necessarily know intuitively how to do this. When
I was leaving the Marines, I didn't know intuitively how
to do this. It took my father taking me into
his closet and you know, showing me those suits and
explaining to me, you know, how to present myself to

(05:19):
the world in a way that would help me. And
I wouldn't have known that if an older man hadn't
done it for me. So I guess one of the
reasons they're probably with this piece too is you know,
I wanted to then pay that forward for for younger
guys who are coming up in the world to think
about how they're presenting themselves.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Elliet Ackerman's Elliott Ackerman's excellent piece in the Free Press,
which is linked on my blog so you can find
it easily, or you can go to VFP dot com.
It's entitled how to Dress like a Gentleman and Why.
It's a short note, it's a great note, and it's
just a reminder of something. You know, we live in
this world today where everything is short term and political

(05:53):
and whatever. These are these are lessons that are that
are timeless, from father to son to the next son.
As Elliott tells this story, Elliott, thanks for your time
and thank you so much for your service to our country.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
No thanks for having me on. Ross