The Rapsody Episode

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Are we back at it man, Homegrown Radio, Chuck Dizzle,
DJ Head, We are here. Rap is back man. It's
good to see you man.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
It's good to see you always.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
So one memory that I have the first lasting memory
that I have of Rhapsody, I met you a couple
of years ago at the station.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
It was in Passing right and I remember I.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Was like, Damn, Raps gives the best hugs. Just just
to embrace that that that you give, the energet that
you give off, but the hugs. I just got to
compliment your hugs. Amazing hugs from Rahapsody, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (00:36):
So that's it's a warm inviting yeah, man, definitely definitely
down home.

Speaker 3 (00:40):
That definitely inviting me. Just I got to compliment you
on that first.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Get one to day though.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
I gotta make sure I get moving back and.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
For you know you are you are you are? D
Rapper is Love.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Rap is back on my new album. All right, man,
please don't cry talk to us about this. And you
know I saw that you sent a few spaces that
this is.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
More of like you opening up and kind of give
them a more of yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:11):
That's right, And no ID correct me if I'm wrong.
He was the one that said, like, you know, people
don't really know rap, right.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
He was one of like two or three people.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Did you know did you know that was a sentiment
going into this or did you feel like damn, Like
was that the intent behind it? Like I felt like
I gave myself to I give myself to the music
or was it were you always intentionally kind of like shut.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Off subconsciously that was the intent?

Speaker 5 (01:35):
Being in a pandemic, I was feeling so much and
it was like I just got to pour out. So
I just started writing and recording whatever I felt, but
being intentional about making it a whole project and you know,
really introducing myself to people. That was definitely after the

(01:56):
no Id conversation because I was working on three I
was at one time, so I was just playing him
just some of everything, and he was like, all dope.
He was like, but I can't tell you five things
I know about you, right, And that was like after
I played like three or four and I was like,
but I got some of those in there. So we
talked more, but the conversation is still stuck with me,
and I think like one of the last things I

(02:17):
played was the last track on the album, I was
just talking. He was like, see that one right there,
like playing me a lot of dope stuff, but that
one right there, I've learned more about you and that.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
One joint you just talking.

Speaker 5 (02:28):
So it just made me be super intentional about like
what I wanted to share and how I shared.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
But then I had homegirls that would hit me and
you know, double down on it, like yo, do you
like to have sex? What makes you mad? Like yo,
show people that you're not perfect.

Speaker 5 (02:45):
So it was all those things, but I was already
on the past. They just you know, they were just
my markers and affirming that you know, you taking the
right journey in the right direction.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
I want to talk about that more in depth because
I feel like this is deaf only your most personal
like this is like really really dope and that stuff.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
But to what you just said, to your point about
that conversation you.

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Had which made you do that, and then that last
track where you're talking, it reminded me of damn, what's
the song at the end.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
Of college drop out? Last Call? Last Call? It reminded me.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
It gave me that feeling where it's like, damn, he
told the whole story about this and that and this
and about how the deal came and like all that
kind of shit, And so it was reminiscent of that
energy for me.

Speaker 1 (03:31):
And even stuff that I didn't really know about you.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
I learned through this album and it was like, Damn,
I didn't know she felt like that.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
You know, I feel a lot of things, but I think.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
It's important to let people behind the curtain a little bit,
especially in this day and age, like if you not,
if you not Beyonce or Kendrick, like those are only
two of you, I feel like, and just be mysterious they
whole life and just people just accept it.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
But people want to know.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
It's one thing to be mysterious. But even in their art,
they give, they give themselves.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah, yeah, you get Eliminade album.

Speaker 5 (04:02):
Yeah, Like, I don't plan to just be out here
snapping and telling everybody in my business.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
You're gonna get it mostly into music.

Speaker 5 (04:10):
Like, I think there's still something to be loved about
that part of being mysterious as an artist, you know
what I'm saying, Like we always continue to become and grow,
but I don't need you to see me do it.
Twenty four seven. You know what I'm saying, but in
the music, that's where you're supposed to give it.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
That's what I feel that.

Speaker 4 (04:28):
But I was gonna give you credit for that because
I think you have done that successfully throughout your music.
You have given us pieces, given us pieces of yourself.
To me, this album felt like you were more comfortable
with it. Okay, can you expand on that?

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Why?

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Because are you talking about being insecure? Like I'm diving
to some of the records too, But can you expand
on that?

Speaker 2 (04:50):
Why?

Speaker 1 (04:50):
More comfortable now than ever?

Speaker 5 (04:53):
I think before I'm gonna just started like this.

Speaker 2 (04:56):
I've been telling people recently.

Speaker 5 (04:57):
I was like, I want to start going by my
real name, I said, because I don't think I need
rhaps City anymore. And it was like, yeah, I could
give you pieces of me, but you might get it
because I'm a Buriers some metaphors, you know what I'm saying,
or I'm not gonna give so much, Like I'm not
gonna talk about my family because I was raised like
we don't tell family business, but on this one, I

(05:17):
share those things. And I had to think, like, it's
not about them, It's about me, you know what I'm saying.
But in a respectful way. So there was things like, Okay,
I gotta protect the family. We're not gonna say anything
about that. We live in a social media age. I
don't want to give you all of me because people
judge you truth or whether they got it misunderstood or whatever,
and things just run. So it's like I gotta protect

(05:40):
myself with that. So it was just all these things.
I was just protecting myself.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
And it was just like I had this idea that
just rapping was enough. All you gotta do is be dope.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
I think that was enough.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
It's not enough. You know, those things will get you
to respect.

Speaker 5 (05:54):
But I had to learn like it's the connection that
you have with people with a life, allowing yourself to
be truth when honest and saying like you know, we
we the same person.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
We go through those.

Speaker 5 (06:05):
Things like finding your people. That's where the real currency
is and that's where you have the legacy and the
long lasting on impact because they make that music like
the soundtrack what they want to do.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah you know what I'm saying. And I had to
think about like, man, I love Laurren Hill and I
listened to unblooging Bess education very vulnerable albums.

Speaker 5 (06:22):
You know what I'm saying, Stevie Wonder, Like, you know,
you can go through from old to new. Like the
ones I think that really stick to you are the
ones that create music.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
You know, that you.

Speaker 5 (06:32):
Connect with and it don't all have to be sad, right,
but you know it's some kind of human elements.

Speaker 3 (06:37):
And I think that that's what resonates the most is
like you're putting this mirror up in front of yourself,
We're watching it real time for you. What was the
scariest moments? And like some tips that you could give
of other people that's literally going through that right now.
They're trying to look look at the mirror, look themselves
and you know, I know some of the questions even
with the albums, like who are you right? Any of

(06:57):
the tips you can give people that are in that
space it's like super scared when they're trying to look
in and look at themselves.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Any questions they can aks ask themselves.

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Things that helped you along the way to kind of
like navigate through this road of like internally figuring out
who you are.

Speaker 5 (07:10):
Yeah, grace is the number one thing you have to
have grace with yourself.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
You gotta learn grace because you gonna look in the mirror.

Speaker 5 (07:18):
You're not gonna like that. Yeah, you're not gonna like
you gonna be disappointed. You gonna disappoint yourself. But you
have to, you know, have grace with yourself and understand
like we all having a human experience and you have
to go through things and you have to, you know,
do things that you wish you could do differently to

(07:38):
learn and grow from those things. I think that's just
the biggest thing and that helped me because it was like.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
You scared to be human, but you ain't no different
from nobody else, right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (07:52):
Like when you think about counsel culture, I think that
shit is so fucking whack. You know, like you gonna
judge somebody be cause they made a mistake, Like.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
No, none of us make mistakes. Like you have n
absolutely nothing.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
You ain't saying no shit behind the scenes that if
it got out, nigga wouldn't look at You're crazy, Like,
don't play yourself like that, you know, like you gotta
give people the opportunity to grow and become.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
So that was it.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
Like I was reading a lot of books like Untamed
by Glenning Doe was like one that was really big
for me. James Allen twenty one books is book this stick.
But there was so many gems in it that just
like I don't know, it just allowed me to be free. Yeah,
you know what I'm saying. But that was the biggest thing.
Like even though I didn't like the things that I did,

(08:40):
I had to forgive myself on and I had to
have grace with myself And those are the things that
got been through.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Cause it was like, Malene, if you really wanna make.

Speaker 5 (08:47):
This change and grow, you gotta lean in girl, like
you gotta go through the fire. You gotta like look
at the ugly parts, the beautiful parts. You gotta love
it all and understand what it was there for you
got I should said, what did I learn from it?

Speaker 2 (09:00):
It's one thing to do it, but if you're gonna
do it and not learn from.

Speaker 1 (09:02):
It, that's the point.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Then you missed the experience. It was for nothing, you
know what I'm saying. Like you went through that, you
felt that for what you know?

Speaker 5 (09:11):
So that was it, Like you know what they say,
you gotta make I can't.

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Remember saying.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Do you have a do you have a diary.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
I don't have a diary, but you have like.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
A thought book or anything, because how do you organize
your thoughts. I feel like your thoughts are so well
crafted your music. It's gotta be some sort of method
to it. I don't see you just sitting down and
like I'm gonna talk about relationships today and it just.

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Me.

Speaker 5 (09:44):
But it might be a thing where the same way
Jake can have haven't many verses in his head without
writing that, it might be a think my diary is here,
you know, like I compartmentalize all these separate.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Things, but it's crazy, so disorganized.

Speaker 5 (09:58):
Like I have I just books randomly and I just
write in them, and like books, yeah, I just write
ship right, and it could be some of anything. Like
one day I'm doing budgets. The next day I'm writing
how I feel. The next day I'm writing the rhyme
and shit is so funny.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
It is so crazy.

Speaker 5 (10:18):
Like that's why it's so hard for me sometimes because
I'm trying to actively write more in books, because you know,
it's like you can write in your phone all day.
But I got a homegirl work at a museum, and
she was like, I can't take that and put in
the museum. So I try to be more intentional about
writing books. But I have like a verse here in
this book, and I'm like, god, dang, where is.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
The second verse? You know what I'm saying. So I'm
going through all these books like where did I write
the other one?

Speaker 5 (10:43):
Like it's so unworth doc But I have intention but
it'd be like I travel, so I don't always have
the same book.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
But anyway, yeah, like I'm it's.

Speaker 5 (10:53):
All in here though, Like I can keep it all
in here in different places and I can pull from it.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
I do it all the time.

Speaker 5 (11:00):
Like it could be a line, it could be something
I saw in a movie, and I pull it right
when I needed When.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Did you realize you had that skill? That's because I
feel like talking about it.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
You know, it's like when you're doing it, you're just
doing it. But when he asked.

Speaker 5 (11:13):
Me that, I was like, I ain't gonna diet, Like
I just sit down and be like, oh this beat
I had this. I remember, I had this thought, I
had this line, and this is this is a great
beat for this concept.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
But it's I keep it all that's.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
So, I mean, I know it's not a far fatt thing.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
For an MC or a rapper to have for regular
people like me, that's fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
It sounds like you said.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
I'm like, I never really.

Speaker 4 (11:39):
Know about it like that like little ticket you know today, I.

Speaker 5 (11:48):
Say, like moments I'll be saying like, my memory is
crazy good, Like do you relate?

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Do you relate having a good memory to being petty?
Because I do. I think people with amazing memories are
the most petty people ever.

Speaker 4 (12:04):
Like I remember you said that twenty nineteen, you said
my album was waged and you said it on this it's.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
So funny nine piece to do that.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
He is very petty.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
People wul tweet stuff about me and.

Speaker 5 (12:19):
In a moment, I'd be like, you know, whatever, look
you need, but I will never remember it. And he'll
be like, we'll be out somewhere and he'd be like, yo,
that's that person they tweeted that thing about it should
be tweeted ago.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
I'd be like.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
They say and everything three man. Yeah he said he
wouldn't crazy.

Speaker 5 (12:44):
But for me, like those things in the moment, I'm mad,
but I don't hold on it though.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
It'd be everything else that I care about that I
hold on to, so I ain't petying that way.

Speaker 5 (12:54):
I'll be wanting to Sometimes I see something, I'll be like,
I hope I remember this.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
You right could be gone let it go.

Speaker 5 (13:08):
But then the things like that, I'm like intentional, Like yo,
I care about that.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
That means something to me. I don't forget that.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
I want to dive into some of the some of
this stuff on the album because I still this is
my first time having a chance to talk to you
about it. On uh on, look what you've done. You said,
wonder why Lauren left? And then you said something you
had a reference to, like maybe you feel like the
same way, or you think the same thing.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Or sometimes like that is that something that.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
Number one rappers always claim are going to retire and
then they put out.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
More Please don't please don't say you don't retire that
she's not gonna know that at all, but.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Don't do it.

Speaker 4 (13:51):
But when you when you were making reference to like
wondering why Lauren left, and sometimes you I guess it's
the sentiment was I remember the bar? But you can
relate to that to the ideology, right, is that is
that from a standpoint of like being not being appreciated
or it's just too much bullshit dealing with the music business.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
No, the business don't really. I mean it kind of.

Speaker 5 (14:17):
The business of like being at Rock Nation, that's always
been a beautiful experience for me. You know, artists told
about they have crazy experience with labels. My experience has
always been beautiful. It's the other side of the business,
like we say, like partly underappreciated, but like we know it.
Like the game and especially today is such a numbers game.

(14:37):
It's such a numbers game. Nobody really goes off talent
and truly all the way gut anymore, you know what
I'm saying. And it could be tiring, right, Like for
me to say I don't have human moments, I would
be lying like I'm super strong and super confident and
you know I've stood this.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Long, right, But that's not to say I haven't had
human moments.

Speaker 5 (14:57):
So it's like when I was wrote that, it was
probably early twenty twenty.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
And prow he was in the house.

Speaker 5 (15:06):
Yeah, I was in the house thinking like probably good
two three years. I didn't probably watch no TV and
then hardly like really talk to many people. I was
just really sitting with myself, being still learning, healing, growing, So.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
I had a lot. It's like my brother used to
be in the military.

Speaker 5 (15:23):
He had an accident and he said something real cold
to me one time. He was like, man, it's like
the world turned down and the volume inside turns up.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
That's right.

Speaker 5 (15:34):
I never forgot that, but I understood what he meant
in that moments.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
So it's like we running around. We moved all the.

Speaker 5 (15:41):
Time, so like it's loud, I don't get to hear internally.
When you sit still and the world is quiet, you
really get to hear everything that's going on. You sit
and thinking and sometimes overthinking things.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
You know. It was like, man, do people care.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
About what you like?

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Me? My art, my music? Do they care about how
good that I am?

Speaker 5 (16:04):
The music that I made was the purpose that I
feel like I had that I care so much about
black men, black women.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
You know, I fight, you know, do I care about that?

Speaker 5 (16:15):
I care about other women in this business that I
care about the next one's coming up? All these things
that are important to me that I learned to care
about not only in my home but through the culture
and the music. It's different now, you don't feel like
so I was just processing that and it if I
even if I left, I would never make a big
announcement about it. But it was like I just had

(16:37):
this moment of like, Paul, like, what are you doing next?

Speaker 2 (16:42):
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 (16:43):
So what's beyond me?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah? Are you? Are you still gonna fight this good fight? Oh?

Speaker 5 (16:47):
You know in the heights that you know, you feel
like you want to reach, But are you still gonna
fight this good fight?

Speaker 2 (16:53):
One hundred and two thousand? Was I really just working
too hard?

Speaker 1 (16:55):
Right?

Speaker 5 (16:56):
Like?

Speaker 2 (16:56):
I care so much?

Speaker 5 (16:58):
But the people that care so much much don't always
seem like the ones that you know, yeah that get it,
you know what I'm saying. So it was that, but
it was like yo, Like then it was question like
is that ego? But also don't you deserve those things?

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Like? It was always this back and forth.

Speaker 5 (17:18):
So it was just so much internal conversation and just
trying to see it through. I was trying to figure out.
But it was like, you know, I look up to
Lauren so much, and.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
A lot of us always like, well what happened? You know?

Speaker 5 (17:32):
And yeah you hear this, you hear that, And I've
watched this unreleased documentary on YouTube, and you know, one
thing that was She's always been a compassed for me
her abaddo.

Speaker 2 (17:42):
But she said in the documentary and she was like, man,
I just love making music. It was never about the
fame part of it. And that's the thing that'll get
you in this loop.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
Like we get in it cause we love it, and
then we in it and we feel like we gotta
keep up with the Joneses. You know what I'm saying, like, oh,
this person did this and this person did that, so
I gotta check off that that too, to be fel
you don't feel like I'm worthy or you know, when
it's all said and done, when you've left this earth
where you still matter, have you had enough moments that
the world got to be a part of that. People

(18:12):
care enough to keep your name relevant. You know what
I'm saying, Like, those are the thoughts.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
That you have that I have. Anyway, I can't say everybody.

Speaker 5 (18:19):
So it was me just processing all of those things,
or like, you know, I was James Samuel.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
Or the director, producer or whatever.

Speaker 5 (18:26):
He was working on book of Clarence and you know,
I was trying to get sealed on a mad bage.
So me and him were you know, he was talking
or whatever, but he said, you know he says something
to me one time. He's like, rap, like what you do,
Like it's bigger than that, you know what I'm saying.
It was like, you should really get in film, you

(18:48):
know what I'm saying something, And like, what as.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
As good as I you know, I am in music?
Is that really my bag? Like is my purpose?

Speaker 5 (18:54):
Like I'm just I'm processing a lot or you know
somebody that I work very close to it.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
They love the album, you know the albums are made
and classic album whatever. He was like, but you'll never
sell a million records. Damn, you never go platinum. Rap
Damn is the same.

Speaker 5 (19:10):
You know what I'm saying, right, And I can't say
it's not true, right, But then I have to ask
myself what are you in it for?

Speaker 2 (19:16):
Are you in it for that?

Speaker 5 (19:18):
Those things are like they're good acknowledgements, but what are
you in it for it? I was like, man, I
really just want to inspire people to make great music,
So do that.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
So no, I was gonna asked, have you answered that
question for yourself that you did, Like it's like, I'm
I'm in it for the love and the craft.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah, So it's like, you know.

Speaker 5 (19:39):
That's like the grace, having gratitude, and you know, I'm
plugging like from the illusion of everything, like using those
other things to define your success. Yeah, Like, man, when
you make music and you know, I'm I meet people
and they tell me how my music affects them, that's
the fuel.

Speaker 3 (20:00):
So so you mentioned Lauren bay Do being those two for you,
have you had a conversation with Lauren and and so
would you ask her like those type of questions even
though you came to the conclusion on your own, would
you at this point ask her like yo?

Speaker 1 (20:13):
But for you, what was it?

Speaker 6 (20:15):
You know?

Speaker 5 (20:15):
You know, I don't think I could ever stop learning
me and Lauren, And maybe like the last couple of years,
a year or two, just got to the part where
like I'll email her sometimes, but I haven't.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
I haven't died into night.

Speaker 5 (20:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I just I like to just see
in love and show my appreciation, you know, hopefully build
a friendship with her.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
But I would like that's one of the things I
would love to sit down with her. Not even I
don't need the world to see here, like just for me,
like cause.

Speaker 5 (20:46):
I can never ever have like enough guidance and people
that have walked that path in their journey.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
So you know, I would love to get her perspective
on things. And I'm sure it's changed.

Speaker 5 (20:56):
Through the years, you know, but that would be like
super beneficial for me.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
What did those conversations while because you have Badu on
the album, right, did did you get a chance to
dive into those conversations as well?

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Or was it more business? Not business?

Speaker 3 (21:11):
But it's like let's work on the music, let's not
dive into these conversations, or did you get a chance
to me?

Speaker 5 (21:18):
Was just always organic, you know whatever we was on
the phone talking about as what we was talking about,
you know what I'm saying like she but it's different
because Badu kind of like has always dropped gyms to
me throughout the years, you know, like since twenty two
thousand and nine, like she had you know, knife for
what call her and ask her for advice for me.
She always said advice. She do small shit sometimes like

(21:41):
she might. She had a showing rally one time and
I was outside of her trailer just chilling, and she
walked past and she just fran my hand and held
it for a minute.

Speaker 2 (21:50):
She ain't had to say nothing to what that meant?

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Right, you know what I'm saying, so she.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Do stuff like that, but you know.

Speaker 7 (21:57):
She's right, that's crazy, right, I It's it's it's the
the mission and that I think that's important because those
little moments where where somebody from the outside will say.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Well, what was the gyms? What was the Jews? Like
that was the message?

Speaker 3 (22:20):
That was the gym, that was the jew I think
stuff like that is so important. I think people like
that understand that have you had a chance to have
that impact on somebody, somebody coming up or whether it
be a fan or somebody in and that's coming up
in music or whatever the case may be, where you
do it in your own way to pass that knowledge down.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Man, excuse me.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
And I'm always trying to pass something down. It could
be like super intentional where I've had some artists hit me,
you know, just on text asking for advice.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
From my perspective, I give that.

Speaker 5 (22:57):
I've had random people DM me asking for advice, like
when I can give it, I always share it, you know.
Or they'll be like newer artists like I see like
just starting yeah, and I'll see them. I think they
done when I just send them a note like keep
your foot on the gas or I see you.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
That's so important.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
It go a long way because I remember all the
artists that did it for me, and I know how
it felt when I when I got it.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
It don't take much.

Speaker 5 (23:24):
To inspire somebody, you know what I mean, like just
you know again, just to be like a mild mark
or a life for them to like, yo, I can,
I've got it, like, I just gotta keep going. So
that's what it is, because I walk that wall. You know,
I've been that artist. I know how it feels. So
it's important for me, like because I've done that, you

(23:45):
know how I feel.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Why not?

Speaker 5 (23:47):
You know, to me, it's a disservice when you go
through the process and you get there and you don't
give back, that's weak.

Speaker 1 (23:55):
Then the second track on.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
The album Marlin, you said, you just said that you
want us to start moving, like by your real name
because you didn't feel like you need.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Rap City anymore.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
When did you develop Rhapsody and why did you develop Rapsity?

Speaker 5 (24:12):
Yeah, two thousand and five. I came up with that name.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yup. That's exactly what it was like. You know.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
I was in a collective and everybody had a name,
and you know, I was just like, yeah, I need
an alias, and I'm thinking like at the time, I'm
thinking like, oh, it's just a hip hop thing to do.
But like looking back and having clarity now, you know,
I feel like it was a way for me.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
To protect Marlena from so many things, like.

Speaker 5 (24:46):
Coming from from where I come from, like a super
small town in North Carolina, to do the profession that
I'm doing, to tell my parents like I want to
be a rapper, crazy, Like what you mean, Like we
don't know nobody that's made a successful career that's eating
off of that. You stay in school, go get a job.

(25:07):
So one, it was a way to protect myself where
I could because I wasn't telling them, like I was
doing records and having little shows here and there, like
they did not know that I kept that on the wraps.
So you know, it was able for me to like
move around, I haven't used my real name, Like it
was just like this is Marlane, but this.

Speaker 2 (25:26):
Is raps, right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (25:29):
So yeah, like it was just a way for me
to shield and protect her subconsciously. I'm learning now, but
now it's like I don't have to hide anything now
you know.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
It's been amazing.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
How Like, like you said, coming up with an aliens
her name, that's you. You do it because it's that shielder.
You feel like that's your superpower. You can kind of
go go on the raps and yeah, you know, but.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
It's internally and you really you are the superpower.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
You really are the super And it's like you come
to do you find?

Speaker 3 (25:56):
I think an artist like Kendrick who same things, like
the moment he changes am the Kendrick Lamar you just
saw kind of like the trajectory of his career, but
what took place to to moment kind of get honest
with yourself. I love that you kind of understand that
for yourself and being intentional about wanting people to call
you that not.

Speaker 5 (26:14):
Like but it's just no, if it even feels weird
to me now, like which part your rap rap? I
was just like, yeah, you know that's what but it's like, nah,
I want Marlaana.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
That's what I was.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
So when you when you go order food, you say Marlaina.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Every time, okay every time.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
Did you ever have one point say rap like rahaps
when you were going as an ali Like when you
would order food to go out somewhere.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Never never, okay, now never, it's weird enough.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
The reason why I say that because my name is
Chuck Dissial, right, but whenever I go to eat, I
always say Charles.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
I always tell me Charles word my last name.

Speaker 2 (26:51):
Doing it's crazy, Like my dad. I call my dad,
He'll call me and I answer the phone.

Speaker 5 (26:57):
He be like, rhaps city, I'm doing that. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
My family does that to be funny. Like j I'm like,
come on, that's right.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
You know it's it's it's a it's a weird feeling again,
embracing yourself and understanding like you got that superpower it's
really within you out and I love like I said
that you you developed that and kind of understood that.
And even with the album, it's like, you know that
the start of just saying your name like this is
who I am when they're asking yo, who are you?
You know, starting off with the name, being intentional about that.

Speaker 4 (27:35):
I D shot now I D black pop Star. If
you ain't crying through it, you're laughing through it. I
get called an asshole more than I get called my name, right.

Speaker 1 (27:49):
And I mean, I say, wait, hold on, this is
a question for you, have you laughed through it?

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Or like, right now we gonna get to the ship.
But I often get accused of those things because the
way I present in the way my delivery be, my
delivery be a little bit.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
You know, it ain't the best delivererate. You know what
I'm saying. I mean, you have you've had experience of this.
We were talking about other babies.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
But but but I'm just saying that. I guess when
I was listening to this to the record, this is actually,
to be honest with you, When I first heard it,
I noted it in my mind to come back to that.
And then when I went back to it a couple
of times, I like, it's a real ship because it's

(28:37):
a trauma response and there like in therapeutically, it's a release.
I guess if we if we laugh at our pain,
so to speak, or whatever, like I noticed I do
that I make really inappropriate jokes at inopportunity times, like
extremely inappropriate jokes, right, and to be like, I'm gonna
tell you the truth.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
And then I went, then I want just to read
I'm telling you give you.

Speaker 4 (29:00):
So I was talking to a woman and she said
something to me and I said.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
She basically said, you like me, you know, like you
like me.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
I was like, yeah, but only because you know you
have you make food and you have an orfice.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
That I back and find you. Right, you have an
that's going to prove useful. I love you, said.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
I definitely told me that.

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Right, But I'm just that's my way of not being vulnerable.

Speaker 5 (29:38):
Yes, okay, And that's what I took from the record.
That's the family I grew up in. Like I tell people, like,
my family is very loving. I know I was a
love child, and we did not affirm it in that
way like I.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Love language is not like I love you exactly. You
look nice today, like we wake up cracking like mash
like to the day my Like that's.

Speaker 5 (30:02):
Why I'm like, you know, I would talk about people
call me ugly like that didn't.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Feel good, But at the same time I could.

Speaker 5 (30:08):
Take it because my brother said way worse things to me, right,
But you know, I know he loves me very deeply the.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
More he jokes about me.

Speaker 5 (30:16):
Right when I talk about my aunt with dementia, like
you know, it was me and my aunt with dementia
and her sister which is my other aunt and in
the moment, I was like, and my feelings about it,
you know, because you know, she was just watching it
like it was like you know, talking to pictures on
the wall.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
And she looked at me and she was laughing. She
was like, we gotta laugh to keep him crying.

Speaker 5 (30:40):
Like so we laugh about everything, Like, you know, I
had an uncle that had alcohol them issues and he
had a bad experience with it.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
Shapes for a little bit.

Speaker 5 (30:50):
My brother and my cousins was joking and ship out
of him like these jokes, these jokes.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
So we laughed.

Speaker 5 (30:59):
Like that's like you say, like our therapy to deal
with like things uncomfortable or pain or you know, like
to get through things. So it was like, but you
still just masking, you know what I'm saying. You still
got to deal with it at some point. Yeah, when
you buy yourself, it ain't nobody crying your where you
feel that, it don't go nowhere, you know. So it

(31:21):
was like, I'm not suppressing it. You got to sit
in the fire.

Speaker 2 (31:27):

Speaker 1 (31:28):
I think what what was about that too, is.

Speaker 4 (31:31):
Not only were you expressing your experience, but you also
holding us accountable as the listener and that's what I took.
That's the temperament I got from. And then also like
like we do we do that all the time. We
in a couple of groups like the group chats here
and Iran can never see the light.

Speaker 3 (31:49):
That's why sometimes just fire mom for the I'm like like, damn,
I know it's coming. I'm just gonna shoot a couple
off talking about myself something. Just get it off now,
because I know you're gonna catch it straight.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
And so do you even think though as black people,
that's just in.

Speaker 5 (32:12):
That much we went through so much, Like that's just
instilled within our coaching.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
We're gonna laugh through the pain all the time.

Speaker 5 (32:19):
That's why, like people be going off on these comedians,
I'll be like, don't you understand what comedians are for, right,
It's for healing, Like you're supposed to laugh through all
all of it.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
All of us is fucked up.

Speaker 5 (32:31):
I don't care who you are, I don't care what
sexual orientation you are, with gender you are or raised.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
All of us fucked up. That's what they're there for.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
And I think laughter, I mean not I don't think,
but laughter also you know lowers your quarters all levels
and increase of stress.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
And the other part about it I want to ask
you about.

Speaker 4 (32:50):
Would be not only the mental health, but the physical
health part of UH trauma and lack of getting through
that stuff. Because I actually asked the doctor. I was
had a heart palamentations and stuff one time, and so
I actually asked the doctor.

Speaker 1 (33:05):
I'm like, I'm talking to cardiologists. The white lady she was.

Speaker 4 (33:08):
Kept it real with me, though, I was like, Yo,
how the fuck does stress killing? People always say? People
always say stressing I'm killing, It's I'm killing.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
I'm like, that don't.

Speaker 4 (33:17):
Make no sense to me, because stress doesn't actually exist.
It's something that but they were like, no, it's your
quarters all levels, and your quarters all levels a hormone.

Speaker 1 (33:24):
It gets influctuated and flames.

Speaker 4 (33:27):
It inflames certain pieces of you, and then you get infection,
and then it calls heart attacks and all kind of mind.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
That's the first I was today years old when.

Speaker 4 (33:37):
I had this information out right, because no one's ever
articulated it to me and how it works the same
thing applies to mental health. But then, like you said,
laughing through the pain, I think laughter actually is healing.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
I do too, because it does lower and quarters all levels.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
It does decrease stress, it does get rid of you know,
lower than it releases serotonin.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
And it's all science, but it's a lot to it.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
And so I was, I was like really appreciative of
that that record sit.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh yeah, and no with you same thing.

Speaker 5 (34:06):
Like I had mad panic and anxiety attacks. You know, recently,
I haven't had one that I can't control since twenty twenty,
but I had been having them since maybe two thousand.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
And three, damn for real, Yeah, like a long time.

Speaker 5 (34:24):
They progressively got worse, and I eventually got diagnosed with
grades disease. But I was with me some one day
and I was having one, and she was like, your
mind is a lot more powerful than you think.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
It is.

Speaker 5 (34:40):
Like you are creating the physical response within your body
because of what you're thinking.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
That's a fact, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (34:48):
And once I got through that, like I got that
under control.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Man, I started losing weight and all it like these things.

Speaker 5 (34:57):
I'm just like I was holding on just so much
emotionally it showed up physically in the same way.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Like and you know that's why laughter is good. But
you also got to heal too. You gotta do the work.
You could laugh through it, but you gotta do the work.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
Speaking of which is Felicia Rashad like actually, like.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Do you have a therapist? And this is her name,
Felicia does sounds like sounds like the show.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
No, that's that's still on my list, Like I still
need to think. I need to do therapy. Just you
shouldn't like drinking water eat. But I do not have
a therapist.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
This is the pitch, like to to to have her
on the album. What the ask do you? Claire?

Speaker 8 (35:51):
She was my oracle like in the Matrix, but but
reaching out to her and asking her about it, to
ask because I know what a fere.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
You know, the birthday later, I need you.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
It's crazy. I still haven't spoken to her.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
I still haven't met her, so I have to give
all that to my managers hotel. But you know I
told her the idea, like why I would want to
have her. She found a manager. I don't know exactly
what was in the email, but I'm sure it was like, Yo,
Rhapsody has so much love respect for Felicia. She got
this album coming out and they came back and they

(36:34):
were like, can you send us some music, and I
didn't have it. I didn't get to it in a
timely fashion. I think I was moving around the show,
so it might have been like thirty six hours, but
I was gathering the music, gathering. Chantel hit me.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
She was like yo.

Speaker 5 (36:51):
They came back and they said yes. So I'm thinking
they did their own research.

Speaker 9 (36:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
But she hadn't even heard the music.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
No, she didn't. She didn't hear the out.

Speaker 5 (37:00):
I don't even know if she's heard it now. That's
you know, so I'm thinking they did that on research.
But I've talked about her through interviews. I did something
with essence when time. It was for Mother's Day, and
you know I picked her specifically, so you know, it
wasn't like a wake up like I want to leave
your shot, like I've always wanted to create with her
in some way like so you know, I'm just happy that.

Speaker 4 (37:22):
That's crazy, that's fire. That's also a testament to you though.
You gotta you gotta you know, I'm not saying be
egotistical about it, but you gotta aware that too, Like
you know, somebody of that status in our community, we
all look at her as.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Like one of the one of she's one of them.

Speaker 4 (37:37):
One she is in our community as a queen or
you know whatever. But for her, for that her and
her team, and be like yeah, she said yes, you
know they say you always prepare for everything, and sept
that yes.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Tel j til.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Jane a million dollars or they said yes.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Everything, but yes.

Speaker 2 (38:07):
It was like you know you was like you prepared everything.

Speaker 5 (38:09):
I was like, let's ask most of you says no,
but look if she say no, we're gonna reach out
a boom boom bore. Like I was already prepared like
who else. So it was like that and the only
thing she asked from for she was like if she
wants to come to a show, she just want to
know she'll be taking care of.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
I was like, easy, what you.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Can give you. We're going one and show you by yourself.

Speaker 2 (38:37):
With the section thrown there, you can sit whatever you
want and need.

Speaker 1 (38:44):
That's fire that. I'm glad you got that moment.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
That's I can't wait to meet her.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
That's that's a crazy like that's crazy because I remember
reaching out to I reached out to Byron Alan right,
and I just think that like a black man on
that level, I said that I said him a cold email.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
I found his email and I said the random Emil.

Speaker 4 (39:03):
Never met I've never had a complish and then one
and then one day like when he hit me back,
I'm gonna be I'm gonna call you.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
I don't want.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
We didn't get you back, right.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
I was looking at the BET Awards the other day, man,
I saw Challenge Gambino. He made those statements about having
more or just as many Grammys as Will Smith and
then or more Grammys and Will Smith and as many
BET Awards as Sam Smith. Immediately made me think of

(39:46):
the line on your album he says.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
He says the Grammys was the first denominated rap.

Speaker 3 (39:51):
You know, I just want awards from an all black
everything put us in my mind frame of that, and
we saw that same sentiments and if you.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Can talk, I want to pin in it this way.

Speaker 3 (40:04):
But we were talking earlier about platforms not necessarily getting
it or understanding what what is the dialogue.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
That needs to be around that as of right now?

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Is it more of like yeah, he's right, like we
need to do something about this, Like what does that
conversation need to be had?

Speaker 1 (40:21):
Because I feel like.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
It happens too often at this point, you know, is
there anything that needs to be said or is it
just the dialogue in itself, you know, for people to
have that conversation.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, okay, a lot of questions.

Speaker 5 (40:37):
I try to have grace in all of it, right,
Like I'm in that period of life. I try to
look at things or circle and not just from myself
and my emotional self.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Right, So when it.

Speaker 5 (40:46):
Comes to things like that, like my grace is like, man,
I wish we could really be celebrated for the art
and the creativity and you know it not only just
be a poppy larity contests, because that's what it's you know,
kind of turned into to me, like a popularity contest.
But that's not to say like those people don't deserve

(41:09):
that space, but it's just like there's so much more
we can do to represent the culture, to celebrate the
artists you know that don't always get the chance to
be celebrated.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
But the grace of mine is too. It's like.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
Maybe for what they do, they try their best because
in order for them, I understand how ratings work, and
I understand that the most popular artists are gonna get
the most ratings. For you, so it's like, how do
we bridge that, you know, and maybe they still working out.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
I'm just trying to have grace.

Speaker 5 (41:44):
But you know, as far as like my lyric on
the on the record, you know, I was just having
like a moment where I was just like I didn't
really know what the Grammys was.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
I'mna be real with you.

Speaker 5 (41:56):
I ain't understand like the importance of the Grammys even
what it was until I got nominated with Kendrick for
to Pember Butterfly, and it was like Grammy's Grammys, Like
it didn't register to me because I didn't grow up
attention to that. In my house, my black as daddy
that made us watch Roots every Christmas.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
You know, everybody want your home alone morning Roots till
this day. Every time we watched.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Wait so the whole the whole catalog.

Speaker 2 (42:32):
This day. He done every Christmas watching Roots.

Speaker 5 (42:38):
So you know, like we watched BT Awards, the Soul
Train Awards, na A, C p Wrs. Those were the
things for me that were the height of music where
blackness was celebrated. And growing up in that house and
learning to love myself with my blackness, that was what
I knew, you know, that was where love was we
could celebrate us, like I just the Grammy. She just

(42:59):
didn't regis because in my home, that's what we value.
That was our currency. So like coming up in the
music business and again like I'm at these awards and
that's like my dream.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
I want to be on a BT stage.

Speaker 5 (43:14):
I want to perform, I want to love to get
award INAACP Soul Train, Like that's where I see myself.
That's you know, acknowledgment that I want to look out
and see people that look like me to be acknowledged
and you know, for the Grammys to be the first
ones to acknowledge me. Before that, it was just a thought,
like it's not a not but it was just like, man,

(43:34):
I got acknowledged here before I got acknowledged there as
much as I talk about us, and you know, but
I don't want to feel entitled either. It's you know,
you see how I'm going through this battle. It's like,
you know, but that's that's what it was like. And
I'm grateful for that Grammy acknowledgement, but because of who
I am black woman and how I was raised, when

(43:56):
I first got.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
That BT Lyricist of the Year award, yeah, that shit
hits right and.

Speaker 5 (44:01):
I'm saying that touched me in a way and it's
like I feel like b et right, you know, more
than before, Like that really really means something to me.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
So that's just what it was like, man, Like.

Speaker 5 (44:17):
For the music that I make and the things that
I talk about, sometimes that get out get its acknowledged
outside of us more than it does it.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
I agree with you, you know what I'm saying, And that's
like but.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Then, but then I would say that's a slippery slow too,
because on the flip side of that, you have people
who want the adulation of white people and other people
other institutions more than they want the adulation of our
own people, and that could also.

Speaker 2 (44:41):
Be right, right, I just look at you know, I
mean I look at.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
Ya the same way like I think he wants that
more than he wants us. And that's disheartening.

Speaker 2 (44:50):
Too, it is, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
So there's a flip side to that, you know, duality
of it.

Speaker 5 (44:55):
Yeah, So I was like, that's why I try to
have grace. But for me, I appreciate the Grammy's as
valued to me. But I really like I really hold
to be to awards like the same, Like I got
a grammy, I got an na A CP award. You
know what I'm saying, Like I feel the same way,
like they're equal to me.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
It's not one above the absolutely no. I think we
just have to do a better job at that amongst you, amongst.

Speaker 5 (45:20):
Put in really with participation, showing up support and being proud,
like waving that in the air.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
I think that's important with the two.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
So I got two records that I want to dive into,
and it's a lot.

Speaker 4 (45:33):
To unpack here. Uh should we do that one time?
I'll let you choose that one time? Or should we
do diving?

Speaker 6 (45:40):
Mad?

Speaker 1 (45:40):
Black bit mad?

Speaker 2 (45:41):
This is your ship man, so let's do.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
That one time. So at the unpack.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
So, I don't know if the reference on here was
dealing with a married man and then but you also
talked about uh never felt pretty or wanted right, And
I mean you touched on a little bit earlier. But
you meant like intimately or you meant from professionally or
how do you mean that? Because I called I called
it a double. I don't know if it is meant
that way, but I know you were dope, so I

(46:08):
was maybe.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Dumb.

Speaker 5 (46:16):
We wanted a pretty by non nigga that line right there.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
You know it's.

Speaker 5 (46:24):
Romantically you know, I never felt like, you know, rap
not rappers. I don't know why they came to but
just in general in our society, those aren't the things
that are pushed as being beautiful.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Being a black woman.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Are being dope or being a darker skinned woman.

Speaker 5 (46:43):
Oh okay, not having a certain shape body like like
I said, most of my career, like a lot of
conversations black and like ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. Like
I did a documentary and we documented all the tweets,
so like it. It's just a real eye opening thing
because I grew up like me and my family, and

(47:05):
we all called each other beautiful. Like my older cousin
used to call me. She's like, they're on my little
Barbie doll, you know what I'm saying. Like there was
a lot of love poured into it. And I remember
I left home and I went to college one time,
and so I've had many examples of this.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
But I was at foot Asher one.

Speaker 5 (47:20):
Day and a guy came in and he pulled out
a wat of money and I looked at it.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
I was like, well, that don't mean nothing to me.

Speaker 5 (47:27):
Right, and he's like, you ain't all that anyway, right,
number one nothing, dude asked for my number, boom boom
talking right, And I'm not a promiscuous woman like that
or whatever, but I guess I wouldn't giving him what
he wanted.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
But we was talking. He was saying something like, I mean,
he's like, you cool, You ain't no ten or nothing.
You know what I'm saying. You getting all these things.
They'm not getting the music business.

Speaker 5 (47:48):
And you know, you videos here they and I'm in
Twitter and I'm reading tweets and I'm just seeing like
what people say, you know, even like video vixens, you
don't always see a lot of beautiful, dark skinned woman
women in those positions, you know.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
So it's just something that I was always aware of
my whole life. Like I took my little niece.

Speaker 5 (48:09):
She was four years old, the target to get a
Barbie doll, and she said, I don't want the dark
skin really, yeah, yeah, absolutely, And so she was like
four damn. And so me and my sister, like we
had conversations about it, but we were very intentional to
make sure that she learned to love us. So right,
So like those are things, but too it was also

(48:31):
too like at the time I wrote that I had
gotten out of like a really long relationship nine years.
But every relationship I've been in, I've been cheated on.
Not the same mold women haven't, but internalizing my own experiences.

Speaker 2 (48:45):
The nine year one, it was like every time I
called him cheating, it was like with.

Speaker 5 (48:49):
A curly hair, you know what I'm saying, fair skin? Yeah,
like that was their thing. So you know, I made
it about me, like what's wrong with me?

Speaker 2 (49:00):
Type?

Speaker 5 (49:02):
And so like I go out now and I be
around jos and I don't even think like anybody could
even like me.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
I don't even move like that. You know what I'm saying.
My girl will be like, yo, why won't you?

Speaker 4 (49:12):
I just be like, what, that's a cycle, that's a
really that's a real psychological mind fuck.

Speaker 5 (49:19):
Yeah, you gotta validate yourself. And you know, if you
be too like, you can go through all your college and.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
Be beautiful, beautiflau one.

Speaker 3 (49:32):
I know, I know that you got a lot of
black queens and my then you got all those too,
and I'm sure throughout the years and you being God,
you want to focus on my Minkele Magneqe mile magnesia.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
But no, I mean it was like, especially over the
last three months with everything was going on with you know,
Honey and his battle and stuff.

Speaker 1 (49:55):
I've been all kind of ship fat neck glazing.

Speaker 4 (50:00):
I just learned blazing in the last.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
You looking at them one college.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
But yeah, so it was like all of it, but
it was layers to it.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
You know what I'm saying, why do you okay?

Speaker 4 (50:17):
Because I think that this conversation was beneficial to other
girls that look like you and come from where you
come from?

Speaker 1 (50:22):
Where does that come from? Where do you where?

Speaker 4 (50:25):
The first your niece, your four year old niece saying
that I don't want the dark one because where does
stats learn to behavior?

Speaker 1 (50:31):
She didn't, she wasn't born with the ideology.

Speaker 5 (50:33):
I mean, you gotta look at the society were raising.
I remember feeling that way as as a kid, even
small things like don't go outside and get black quick
crawling at carb on some black knees, you know what
I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Like it's just little tibbits.

Speaker 5 (50:49):
But then you look at TV, you look at films
like me growing up trying to find a black cricket
dog like that ain't the easiest thing.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
So it's it's in your school, your.

Speaker 5 (51:00):
Friends, like being on the bus, like watching boys pick
on the dark skin.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Girl that don't have much hair, Like you see all
of that.

Speaker 1 (51:07):
And you get to the jokes too. We were talking about.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
Earlier jokes like you got you know, the music, you know,
like visually, the videos, like it's all around us from
the time you were a small child to adulthood.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
The first time I ever paid you said the music,
the first time I ever paid attention.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
I'm not gonna lie. And you're right.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
It's psychologically subconscious programming because the first time I ever
thought about it like that was I think it was
the uh, the Black, the Black album when I was
listening to the Black album R and on was it?

Speaker 1 (51:42):
What more can I say? Uh? And I'm in the
in crowd and all the way the lif sken loving me.

Speaker 2 (51:49):
Now you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (51:51):
I remember that bar because I think I am subconsciously
associating that with success.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Yep. And that's and that's what it is.

Speaker 5 (51:59):
It's like crazy had a realization right now, Like I
think about it, there are a few like and I
don't want to make this the black Man's narrative, but
a lot of black men is successful and get a
trophy wife.

Speaker 2 (52:08):
That's what they call him, the trokey white.

Speaker 5 (52:10):
And I'm don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking like
our sisters of a different complexion because they go to
their own things too.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Like this still sits for me to this day.

Speaker 5 (52:18):
Like I think about Kendrick and everything he does for people,
how intentional he is, right, And I remember the poetic
Justice video. He was intentional about getting a darker skin
lead Like, he's super intentional about that, and I always
had respect for him for doing that. But I remember
when he put out there rolling Stone cover and Whitney
had her hands in there and it was like an
attack on like, oh, we got this black man, but

(52:39):
he got another light skin.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
I'm like, yo, what are we doing as a people?

Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah, each other, and.

Speaker 5 (52:44):
It's amongst each other, like why why do we have to,
you know, demote his blackness just because he found another
black woman that may not be a chocolate complexion. You
know what I'm saying, He's still black and she is true,
you know what I'm saying. Like that's the thing, but
that's that's been ingraining us since very, very hundreds of

(53:05):
years ago.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
So it's a lot of healing on so many levels
that we have to do.

Speaker 4 (53:11):
And then going to when you said you're out in
public and you don't even entertain the thought of somebody
being interested in you.

Speaker 1 (53:17):
Why, like where does that come from? It's just from
the years of that.

Speaker 5 (53:20):
Or just so much like from the music again, like
being in relationships, being cheated on so much. You know
it was like, but I'm aware of it. I know
that's an internal thing. You know what I'm saying, Like
that's something I have to fix it. That's not to
say like.

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Something.

Speaker 5 (53:36):
A lot of days I wake up I love myself,
but again I have human experiences.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
Some days I'll be like, you know, I.

Speaker 10 (53:44):
Was like you have a clap band?

Speaker 2 (53:49):
I mean one to all the time.

Speaker 4 (53:52):
I would love to see like yo.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Yo, like my friends be like you stupid if people
don't even know how stupid you was, because I just
get off with them because my thing is like I
want to get you right now. But at the same time,
it's like, man, don't give them no light.

Speaker 8 (54:09):
I'm always going through this like you need to go
angel and less lesson Marlene, And you know, I'm so glad.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
Can I talk about me and me? Can I talk
about when you talked about Grammy weekend?

Speaker 2 (54:23):
I don't remember what we talked, Okay, So I.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
See you Rap at a party and I was like yo.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
It was when Dot was going through his what he
was dealing with, and I was like yo, Like I
asked Rap.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
I'm like yo. So like, like, do you.

Speaker 4 (54:38):
Be paying attention because people swear to God, Kate, I'll
be off the grid and like I see everything everything.

Speaker 11 (54:43):
She said, I pay attention to all of it just
in case somebody get out of pocket, like everything. When
she said that, I said, She's like I watch everything.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
I'm like, really every people.

Speaker 4 (55:03):
People swear like you know when you when you are
a certain level or certain you get to a certain
stem in this game, people assuming, oh you just you
are meditating and it's like bro rappers from North Carolina.

Speaker 11 (55:19):
She got that her that she got it from comments, right,
don't get into it if you don't see the honey
seller tool in the politics.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Right, what we're gonna do about this.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
All the time? And I see everything.

Speaker 5 (55:33):
I don't say nothing because I like to keep I
kind of like that surprise your book.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
I love the surprise. Niggas.

Speaker 3 (55:40):
Have you ever have you ever popped up in somebody
or or not necessarily got back, but let them know.

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Like I saw that, I gotta think.

Speaker 5 (55:51):
I'm sure I have the things I retained and I don't,
so I let that go already. Yeah, I'm sure I
don't have an example, but I could definitely remember, Like
that's what you said.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
What about that?

Speaker 2 (56:05):
You definitely no? I see everything.

Speaker 11 (56:11):
Ass may killing me and he swear to not biased,
and I'm just like, bro, shut up.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
The nine year relationship was there on your part? Any
clap back.

Speaker 6 (56:30):
Did you get?

Speaker 3 (56:31):
Did you think you said nine years was cheating here
and there? At any point in that relationship? Did you
have your mama to get back?

Speaker 2 (56:38):
I don't cheat.

Speaker 5 (56:39):
I can stand on that. Like for me, I've been
cheated on so much and I know how I feel.
I just I don't move like that. You know that
ain't an get back for me. To get back for
me is like that. To be successful, they always come back.
Don't ever get it twisted. They always come back. I'm

(57:00):
shaping for and I'd be like.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
I got a personal question, what's your love language? Because
for me, it's quality time and it is is always
gonna need You don't love Okay, I love. I love
when I love him being that's.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Before, that was years ago.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
So I know you really really ship, I really love.
I'm not I'm not throwing John Darry though I'm on
my doctor say this, you know, but fuck you. But
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (57:38):
What's like for me, it's quality time and back of service.
Like I come in and allegedly you put free cable
in your house.

Speaker 1 (57:44):

Speaker 11 (57:45):
Yeah, like that's what you are you paying eliminated the bill,
you know.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
What I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
So do you cash up or do you set it
all up and pay the bill that way?

Speaker 2 (57:57):
No, ain't no pay. He eliminated a problem. Free got a.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Firestick himself, like he got a fire stick appreiate.

Speaker 5 (58:18):
Mine is definitely active service. You cook or anything that
you need. Now I don't be home like cooking, but
if you want me to cook, I will find a
fire recipe and I'll like that ship up on my mama.
But like, I just like to do things for you
whatever that is. So I'm a I'm an active service, but.

Speaker 2 (58:38):
My mom is too.

Speaker 5 (58:39):
Like I tell people like you know that's how I
got rewarded. You so nice you're so sweet. So that's
how I know love. So that's how I give it.
And that was I was a people pleaser for a
long time because of that reason. But I'm definitely active service.
What I'm working on now is words of affirmation. We
can help each other.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
I don't do that at all.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
Like saying I love you. For a long time, it's
so hard for me. I can't say I love you.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Don't do that. No, I'm still working on myself. Pay
for me.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Come on, let's have a moment, got there, right, Come on,
that's a break. You could close your eyes all right? Hey,
I love you.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (59:26):
Yes, I want you to feel it. I love you.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
I got love for you too.

Speaker 5 (59:39):
You yea.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
I used to be like that. First time I went
to college.

Speaker 5 (59:52):
My mom called me and at the end of the
phone she said, I love you know.

Speaker 2 (59:59):
Okay, you hung up, But I felt so bad and
I was like, I love us.

Speaker 5 (01:00:04):
I can't say because I'm not used to us doing that.
Even though I know you love me because of how
you take care, but how you worry about me, how
what you get mad.

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
I know you love me to the ends of the earth,
but why are you talking to me like that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
Say it now, like I say it, I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:23):
So lookt me the last question. Man, listen.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
This is the second time I ever got called out
about this. The first time was Charlamagne. He hit me
and was like, yo, I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
I was like he was like He's like he's like
say it back, what you mean say what? I was like,
what's like, it's okay to love man? God you go

(01:01:00):
to therapy. It's like there's a.

Speaker 6 (01:01:04):
Lot of.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
We get out of my family saying like give me
to So you grew up a lot like I did.

Speaker 4 (01:01:13):
My grandma she passed. She was the worst, my grandma.
I remember one time my grandma. I brought a girl
over Sunday dinner there and my grandma never met this
woman before. She looked over at the cross the table.
She's like, hmm, how long are you gonna last? Everybody
in my family crying laughing, and she's sitting there like yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
Yeah, and you laugh.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
I know she was in your ass.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
When you love Now she she's folded up like last
I bring you to if I bring my family, that's
just how we got. That's enough right here to be So.

Speaker 4 (01:01:53):
I'm learning now that everybody doesn't speak that language. And
I had to adapt quickly because the woman I used
to deal is she was like she was crying. Now
like now I'm like, now it ain't comfortable for me.
So I'm trying to learn that. I'm learning the words
thing and I just transparency. I told a girl like, hey, bro, like,

(01:02:17):
I don't do compliments, so if you need that, Like
you know what I'm saying. So if you need that,
we can figure out a sub Like you got a compliment,
tell her, tell her nice ship, and then I'll do
the dirty work. You said, But I definitely wrote, yeah you.

(01:02:43):
I'm just saying it's a very difficult thing to learn.
And I told my mom because she was started becoming
loveys she's gotten older, and I'm like, Mom, you wasn't
this nigga, Like you know, I told her that what
I'm saying, like, you wasn't this person bro. Like when
I was growing up, it was like it was rough.
Yeah you know what I mean. That might have been

(01:03:04):
a survival technique definitely, But I'm like, nigga, you wasn't
telling me you love me, And I was where it's
coming from, you making me uncomfortable. I know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
That's where growth is.

Speaker 5 (01:03:19):
You got kids, No, but you you you gotta you
gotta be the general.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
You gotta break that. You got to be the change.

Speaker 1 (01:03:27):
And what to say I love you to people.

Speaker 5 (01:03:28):
Yeah, because it's my mom, her dad, and then do
it to her like it's breaking down, like you Mondy
gotta change it, you know you be like you be
joking like the same way I don't be joking all
loud of people because I don't know if they're on
the same type of human things.

Speaker 2 (01:03:43):
And today counsel culture, you never know who you see.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
I'll just take the risks. I'll just jump.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
But but you know what I'm saying, they cancel. But
I'm just saying, so, so, how did you get to that?
Is like obviously it's practice, that was muscle memory.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
And how long did it take because I think that's
important to get comfortable with that type of ship.

Speaker 5 (01:04:07):
No, it was like the people I was around, we
started with like friends. I got friends that like, I
love you, I love you, and they were saying I
would be like, was like, okay, you know then it
would be like love you too. Love You're not putting
that eye in front of it so it was it
was just like a process, so let's try it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Yeah, say money, I have said that to say it.
Say what just say love you too? Why just saying
I just want to see if this progress love. I
say love, want to space it out and say love
and then get too set and say you love in
your direction.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
We we we wanted to take.

Speaker 3 (01:04:55):
Surprised and you got to this point you had to
say love.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
That's what I'm just saying. That ship.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
But it was a few things, right.

Speaker 5 (01:05:02):
It was that, you know, getting around people is comfortable,
Like all right, bro, I got in a relationship and
I just his was very words of affirmation, like pouring
into you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
I love you, You're great, You're the best. Da da da.

Speaker 5 (01:05:16):
I'm like, okay, like you know, after a while, but
then two it would be like, you know, my grandmother passed,
my grandfather passed, and you know, I'm looking at my
dad and I was like, man, I don't want to
go through life and I tell my parents that I
loved him.

Speaker 2 (01:05:33):

Speaker 5 (01:05:34):
My dad was just in the hospital last year and
I was leaving and he was like, I love you,
And in the moment, I couldn't say it back.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
I was like, Okay, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:05:45):
But it's like, man, I have to work on that,
you know, because like you said, when they get older,
they get soft this you know what I'm saying. But
it's like, man, I don't want to wait till it's
too late to tell the people I love that I
love them.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
So I just try to be a lot more.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
You know about it.

Speaker 9 (01:06:01):
They don't know they know, but I'm telling you it
ain't not like even though you can't say it, And
even though it feel uncomfortable when somebody tell you they
love you, you don't it don't feel different.

Speaker 4 (01:06:15):
Yeah, but I'm not into my emotions and.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
I'm just you know you.

Speaker 1 (01:06:23):
So are you still that way with family? Are you?

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Are you able to kind of voice that because you
said you with your father?

Speaker 5 (01:06:29):
Yeah, no, I could tell them I love you, But
I'm still working on it. Like that's about as much as.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
It can get.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
It's sometimes too I still got a joke with it.

Speaker 5 (01:06:37):
I love you to like you know, you know what
I'm saying. But I want to get to the point
where it's like I can sit down and just say
a lot ship like you know, I love you because
I appreciate you, because because I'll start getting the emotions.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
I want to be able to do that.

Speaker 5 (01:06:54):
Without like getting It's so overwhelming because I'm not used
to it that I have a physical reaction and cry,
you know, because that will happen to me.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
All right, let's talk.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
About match there trying to get out of there.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
You talking about diving.

Speaker 4 (01:07:14):
Man cursed off my ex girl Brien because she was crying.
I was so mad she was crying.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Don't cry. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
You know, you like you and you know what and
I want you, and I mean I know you've got
niece's nephews and stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
Can you please? So to this day, like I'm a
I just turned forty.

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
He older than me, by the way, so I did.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
What it is a perfectly good bus.

Speaker 3 (01:07:53):
Sping shots was happening soon.

Speaker 4 (01:07:58):
But I'm just saying, like can to this day, no
one has ever set me down and said, hey, this
is what you do when a woman is crying.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
We learned in real times on the job, and so
like it freaks me to funk out. I don't know
what to do.

Speaker 5 (01:08:14):
What's doing every situation, but that so here's what you
do Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
You sit them down. You said, you know I love you, nigga,
I'm telling you what to do.

Speaker 5 (01:08:24):
Well, it's like, yo, baby, what's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:08:32):
How you feeling? Why you crying? What's wrong? You could
talk to me and you listen intently listen without wanting
to reply, But just listen.

Speaker 1 (01:08:42):
I'm good at that.

Speaker 5 (01:08:42):
You know what I'm saying, and from there you go.
I don't know what the situation depends on why you're
crying the rest.

Speaker 2 (01:08:48):
But good, I love you.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
It's gonna be okay, hit every time. I mean, what
if I don't love her?

Speaker 3 (01:08:55):
I said, I like you, Well, it depends on That's
that's why she said, it depends on the situation.

Speaker 4 (01:09:00):
I don't If I don't love them, I'm not gonna
be in love and no crying.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
What the I say?

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
Now, it's just being there as a person, a caring person.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Okay, I can't again, Like, Yo, you want to.

Speaker 2 (01:09:11):
You need somebody to listen. You might talk.

Speaker 5 (01:09:14):
You ain't gonta say I love you, but just the
act of like I care about you enough to listen
to make sure you're good.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
That's enough. Okay, didn't need help here?

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
So uncomfortable right there? I can tell uh.

Speaker 4 (01:09:29):
This song to me was one of my favorites because
it's shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 (01:09:35):
It just had that energy. I've been waiting for rap
to pop off. Just you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (01:09:39):
People love every time I do like a joint on
talking talk cause it's so.

Speaker 1 (01:09:45):
Like, oh I love black people.

Speaker 2 (01:09:48):
I know I got it in me though, but you're
from North Carolina. Yeah, I got it in me.

Speaker 5 (01:09:52):
I just try not to show that side, but I do.

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
So that this one you gotta worry about. Is this
what you want? Is this what you want? That was
an interesting question on like.

Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Like what you want?

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Is what you want? Now? Just let me know because
if it is, because yes, yes I do, Yes I do.
I was gonna rap to talk.

Speaker 4 (01:10:16):
I'm gonna tell you why and then I wan't gonna
get your your take on it. But the reason why
is because a lot of people talk their.

Speaker 1 (01:10:22):
Ship who don't have the merit to talk their ship.
You have, You're you're qualified to talk to your ship.

Speaker 4 (01:10:30):
A lot of women, not even with a lot of rappers,
are not qualified to talk to ship.

Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
They be popping popping big ship. It's like, bro, you
do not even like that in the move on the
mic and the move on the stage. Yeah, you know
what I'm saying. So that's why I like it. Why
was this important for you to do.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
It?

Speaker 5 (01:10:48):
It was just one of one of the things, like
my homegirl ran to Biddy hit Me and one of
the questions was what do you like when you're angry?

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
And I thought about what makes me pistol? Offline ass niggas?

Speaker 5 (01:10:59):
You know what I'm say saying and like you say,
people don't get to see that side of me. So
I was on this album. I was like, I'm gonna
give you every little piece of me. And I'm a
chill person, like I get it for my daddy, like
I could take a lot, I'm patient, but when they
hit the head, I'm black. I go zero to a
hunt like I'm yelling, cussing, I'm throwing shit at me.

(01:11:20):
And my sister was fussing about some years ago, I
was like nineteen, and I went in my room and
I picked up a chain and I threw it and
the legs went right through the door. I was like
that that's how angry I get. I am a better
much crawl. I have a lot more control. But that
was just a part of me like Blackout season. So
I just wanted to creatively capture, like this is what

(01:11:43):
you get when you piss me off.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
I've cussed a lot of.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
Niggas out like, well, so do you do? You not
like liars in general? It's just lying ass niggas. One
is worse.

Speaker 5 (01:11:53):
I don't like lying ass niggas. I don't like lying
in general, but lying ass niggas. That's like you with me, nigga,
like you with me to like the type of woman
I am. I think I'm very easy to come and
talk to, even when you funk up. All I ask
is for you to come and be truthful.

Speaker 4 (01:12:14):
So if I come to you and I say, hey,
you know like I wouldn't I would on a wild
coke then the last time and slept with this light
skin chick like a ween relationship, Like.

Speaker 1 (01:12:22):
Yeah, I can come to you with that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
You can. I'm gonna be disappointed. I'm not gonna yell
and I ain't gonna throw no ship. You know what
I'm saying. Really, but we're gonna have a conversation.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
So you're gonna ask about the COVID a girl.

Speaker 10 (01:12:34):
First, definitely the coke. Why are you doing what.

Speaker 1 (01:12:49):
Is going on.

Speaker 5 (01:12:52):
Why, Yeah, that's why you did the like cause you can't.

Speaker 2 (01:12:58):
Can't make you make bad.

Speaker 4 (01:12:59):
Decisions, niggas say, Niggas saying, niggas saying that crying ship
for Taraji. When you see one of your sisters like that,
you know in that space, is that automatic? Do you
go into defense mode or do you go into empathy?
What you mean the crying ship for like for like

(01:13:20):
the Taraji reference that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
You made in the song, how did you take that? Bar?

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
I took it like.

Speaker 4 (01:13:26):
I took it like niggas is saying that Taraji ship
is like for like like some like it's weak like
it was.

Speaker 5 (01:13:34):
She was on the interviews crying, Yeah, dag see that
wasn't the bar and it's crazy because me and her
had a conversation about it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:42):
She took it like you took it really yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:45):
See music is.

Speaker 2 (01:13:47):
It's like it's called Diary of a Mad Bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
The baby. See I seem stupid for the.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55):
Said you could take that crime ship to Taji.

Speaker 5 (01:13:58):
The niggas crying Taraji not crying, but it was like
her you know, snoop like I forget event and Jody
is like, you know, like he's going to her crime
event like that's that was the reference for me.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
But that's good because I didn't even think about that
when I wrote the ball.

Speaker 5 (01:14:17):
I was strictly on the Jody the relationship Diary of
a mad bitch. Niggas fucking up and they want to
come back crying, like asked me, like, hell no, I.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
Get the fuck on, nigga, Like that's how I took it.
It was like, you know, like playing on that. So
you know Taraji hit me.

Speaker 5 (01:14:35):
She was like damn yo, yeah no, it was mad, respectful,
like I got so much respect for her, like but
she I'm glad that she asked me. You know, she
was like you thising me, and I was like, nah,
absolutely not because I got a lot of love and
respect for her. But I just I never went there
with it, you know, and I can't change the ball now.

Speaker 4 (01:14:54):
See artists, see artist, this is why you're supposed to
do conversations, because I would.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Have never on that.

Speaker 5 (01:15:00):
You know, it's strictly Jody and event and I didn't
use event because it didn't rhyme.

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
So you know, that was strictly that.

Speaker 5 (01:15:10):
But you know, just on like I respect it and
I had like for Taraji to speak out like she
did in that situation took a lot of strength. It
ain't easy to be you know who she is, and
to go against the grand and to speak out a
lot of people scared to speak out. Took a lot
of courage to do that, right, And that's inspiring to me.

(01:15:31):
And I think, like, fuck all that crying ship, that
ship is strong as fuck because a lot of niggas
scared to do that. They scared to do that. So
whether you crying through it or not, she ain't no pussy.
I know that on no day like yo, like that
ship was.

Speaker 2 (01:15:49):
Double down.

Speaker 3 (01:15:50):
She doubled down the bars the performance or her performing
like us.

Speaker 5 (01:15:56):
Of course I saw that. That's probably one of the
best intros to capturing the moment that was.

Speaker 3 (01:16:03):
That was glad you you articulate that, man, because again
I would have thought that people.

Speaker 2 (01:16:09):
She was like concept exactly so.

Speaker 5 (01:16:13):
But I mean to her point, like, I get why
she asked me because that could be misconstrued, but I
wouldn't even there with it that.

Speaker 4 (01:16:21):
The other part is, uh, you're gonna make a quiet
bitch turn up like the crazy one.

Speaker 6 (01:16:30):
Putting the chy I hate I hate niggas. Think I'm
done you took me there, took.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
You crazy, but make it me go crazy?

Speaker 1 (01:16:47):
And then do you not feel like little Kim gets
the respect that she deserves?

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
Not enough?

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
Because that was referencing the record.

Speaker 5 (01:16:54):
Yeah, like when you look at like the aesthetic of
female rap, that's all little Kim.

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
Like she's the blueprint of that. Like she the queen
bitch when it comes to that, she made a lane
for that. Her shit was so authentic.

Speaker 5 (01:17:09):
So I feel like I haven't I personally, you know,
maybe I'm wrong, but I haven't felt her celebrated enough.

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
You know, but every everything that she has inspired.

Speaker 3 (01:17:20):
Do you think part of the celebration is the recreation
and that or you're saying like just outwardly giving.

Speaker 5 (01:17:25):
Her flower, given out her flowers, absolutely got too, you
know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (01:17:31):
I'm just big on that in general.

Speaker 4 (01:17:33):
Do you believe that imitation is like flattery or you
think imitations just knock off?

Speaker 5 (01:17:38):
No, I think it's flattery, But I think too, there's
a disconnective.

Speaker 2 (01:17:41):
People don't know where it comes from.

Speaker 5 (01:17:43):
If you if you just imitating and not citing your
source in some shape, form or fashion. I ain't say
every time you do something, but you know, like, yeah,
like I got this from Yeah, yeah, got Absolutely when
I do something, I'm inspired, whether it be by I
Got grills, Yeah, cause I was. I did a conversation

(01:18:03):
with about do. I was like, let me see your grill,
let me see what you got. I posted my grills.
I was like, inspire by blah. You know what I'm saying.
But that's important to me, you know, be it work excited.

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
Really, I do want to ask you one last thing
about what we We kind of touched on it, but
you know, being vulnerable and songs and kind of that
involve other people right where there'll be relationships, whether it
be family, fan, do you give them the heads up
or do you wait for the music to drop and
kind of let them.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
That's a good question.

Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
I did a little bit of both on this one.

Speaker 5 (01:18:38):
I would say overall, I like to give people to
heads up. And there was two songs I gave two
people to heads up on. One was cool with it,
you know, which I knew, but out of respect, the
other one hit me and it was like, can you
take that off?

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
Can you change that? And I said absolutely not, oh shit,
because it's my story. It's my story to tell.

Speaker 5 (01:19:00):
But you know, I'm also very intentional about being honorable.
And it's like, I'm gonna tell my story, but I
don't necessarily have to say your name. You know what
I'm saying, because it's not about you, it's about me.
But you are not going to be in control of
my art.

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
And what I get to Yeah, yeah, but I definitely
this is the heads.

Speaker 4 (01:19:21):
Up, but no, this is coming. I always tell people
to operate the space that somebody's writing a book about
their life and.

Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
You'll be mentioned. So you want to make sure that
narrative is intact.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
Absolutely absolutely so. And you know, again, we don't live
perfect life.

Speaker 5 (01:19:35):
Sometimes you slip up, but you again, you just have
to have grace with yourself in those moments and like
some of the family things like I just let it ride.

Speaker 1 (01:19:46):
You know.

Speaker 4 (01:19:47):
Well, look, Rap, I'm gonna tell you this. I'll tell you.
I'll tell you every time I see. But you are needed,
You're needed, You're you're beautiful, and Chuck loves you.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
I do.

Speaker 2 (01:20:00):
You said some very nice complimentary things.

Speaker 4 (01:20:03):
There are compliments of truth, and that's what I'm adamant about.
I'm gonna find I don't do compliments. I do truth
because it can go the other way too. You can
be whack. I told people that they was whack too.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
I think we need more of that.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
But come up with our family. We got the skin
for that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:22):
Everybody can do that really good.

Speaker 2 (01:20:24):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
Thank you so much for having this conversation, and you know,
keep going up. We support you, we love you. I
can say that, then right, we love it? Are thes
we're gonna do?

Speaker 5 (01:20:34):
I mean, well, if you speak truth, do you do
you truthfully love me ship?

Speaker 4 (01:20:41):
I'm in agreeanced with your statements. DJ Head and One
and Only Raps and even catch All Next

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