Ride or Die PONIES with Emilia Clarke

Emilia Clarke joins Chelsea to chat about learning Russian, her road to recovery after two brain hemorrhages, and how to pretend a tennis ball is a dragon. Then: An Argentinean’s messy habits have his boyfriend busy doing cleanup. A girlfriend is crazy about her new guy, but wants to maintain her single identity.  And a newly-sober caller is comedy-curious.

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin.
I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Atlantic City,
which I just added, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

(00:21):
of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
North Carolina. May sixth, I'm doing Netflix as a Joke Festival.
I will be in Los Angeles, that is a new announcement, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California,

(00:47):
and port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
And Seattle, Washington.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
I will be touring from February through June.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Go to Chelsea Handler dot com for tickets.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
If you want to come see me perform, I will
be on the High and Mighty Tour.

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Hi Catherine, Hi, Chelsea. Hi, It's me Chelsea hand Job
coming to you. Live from Whistler. Looks like it's finally
snowy there. When was the last time you gave a
hand job? Catherine? Have you given an adult hand job?
I'm actually like three days ago?

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Oh wow, Yeah, doesn't it all start with a hand job?

Speaker 1 (01:22):
I'm it's start but a handjob three days ago? Catherine
in a marriage?

Speaker 3 (01:26):
I mean seriously, I am on a doctor requested pelvic
rest after some female stuff. So it was like hand
job or nothing. I mean, like, you know, it could progress,
but pelvic rest.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
What happened?

Speaker 3 (01:39):
Well, we'll get into it off the We'll get it
into I think it should be on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Why would you want to talk about that offline? You know,
my doctor? I'm just like any triosa stuff.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Okay, doctor's chill out for a second with the intercourse,
which Brad is very not happy with.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
But okay, let me just think about that. Why when
you have to be.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
On pelvic rest, are you delivering hand jobs? Why isn't
Brad just going down on you?

Speaker 2 (02:04):
That's actually a very good question.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, can you come back in the room please. I
don't understand this. Why is she being punished for being
on pelvic breast? That's her first punishment, and now the
second one is the hand job.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
She's not being punished.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
I offered you know, did you Yeah? And she's like, now,
I'd rather give you a hand job. I believe in reciprocity.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
So you know, we're.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Okay, Okay, he's very good.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
I just want to make sure that you offer.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
I'm thinking I get out.

Speaker 4 (02:31):
Here, give them my hand job.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
We're good, get over here. What are we talking about?

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I want to know, Chelsea, have you seen Michael Rappaport
on the Traders and the clips that are going around
about him.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
You know what I've actually you know, let me tell
you something very interesting. I got this phone service, Noble Mobile.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Right, this is like the ethical phone.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
My friend Andrew Yang started this company, and they basically
reward you for not being on your phone. And since
I got this service, I am not on my phone
like I used to be.

Speaker 4 (03:06):
I was.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
It said my average screen time the other day was
forty nine minutes, and that's including texting and emailing.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
I was.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
I mean it was a Saturday, so it wasn't a
lot happening, but like forty nine minutes, it.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Used to be like four hours and forty five minutes.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
So your phone bill is like fifty dollars a month,
you've unlimited, like international, all that stuff, and then they
then they give you money, Like last month, I got
a six dollars credit for not being on.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
So the less you're on your phone, the more money
you get back. It's nice to have incentives like that.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, of course, of course, especially I want a phone
company that doesn't want me on my phone.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
That's nice. Well, let me tell you. Michael Rappaport is
going viral because of how he eats. Oh, I can
only is it disgusting? It's it's bad, Chelsea. He picks
up the whole plate and then he shoves the plate into.

Speaker 3 (03:53):
His mouth and scoops. That is how he eats. There
are multiple shots of this from him on the Traders.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
What is the Trader? Oh, it's a reality show.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
It's the one with Alan Cumming and money exchanges on
it this time?

Speaker 2 (04:07):
And but why is he Why is Michael Rappaport on it?
He is a contestant on the Traders? But is he
eating like that on purpose? Like me, funny, I don't know.
I kind of wonder that too. I'm like, is it
a bit, yeah, it's a bit.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Nobody puts their plate up to their mouth. I mean,
I've seen some fucked up eating. I'm Jewish, so I
and I came from a very Jewish Italian neighborhood and
it was like people chewing on their food. Was watching
like a spin cycle go around. My father being one
of those people. You were like, excuse me, get out
of my five yard radio.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
It's disgusting. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yes, well, we have a much more elegant guest today.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, she's very elegant because she's British.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
She's so whe you know, from the Star Wars universe,
the Terminator franchise, and Game of Thrones, Amelia Clark is here.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
We have her live in action in studio.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
Hi tuity, fresh and fruity, so excited to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
You too, You're somewhat beautiful and snowy.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
I'm in Whistler, Canada. This is where I live in
the winter time. I have to keep my feet on
the ground and skis at all times.

Speaker 4 (05:10):
Yes, yes, I've seen you nude skiing down slopes and
thought that looks fun.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Thank you, thank you for that shout out.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
I want to first say that the person we're speaking
with today her full name is Amelia Isabelle Euphemia Rose
Clark MBA, which is a standing for Member of the
Most Excellent Order of the British Empire.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
I mean, are you even allowed to be talking to me?

Speaker 4 (05:36):
It's quite a title. I know. That is so funny.
My parents didn't know what to call me, so they
called me everything. That's how that goes.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
It's very euphonious though.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
All of those names kind of like, uh, I mean,
if you can remember them all, they kind of roll
off the tongue.

Speaker 4 (05:50):
They do, They do ultimately roll off the tongue. Yes,
but it's a good like test of the memory. I'll
know if something's gone wrong by how if I can
remember how to say my full name?

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Absolutely? Absolutely? Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Where am I getting you from today? Where in the
world are you, Amelia?

Speaker 4 (06:05):
I am in a hotel room in New York?

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Oh? Okay, how's that going.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
It's good. Today's day one. We'll see how it goes.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh good, today's day one of your press tour. Yes,
you're promoting before we're gonna first talk about the show
you're here to promote, which is called Ponies. I saw
a bunch of episodes already, you did, I did I
did you know who? One of my other favorite people
is Hailey Lou Richardson, so yes, of course. And Susanna Fogel,
who directs this whole project, is another friend of mine.

Speaker 4 (06:34):
Oh my god. Okay, then you love us. This is happiness,
this is a warm.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Room, absolutely absolutely welcome. Yes, yes, I'm a fan of
all of the things. So tell me about what it
was like working with Haley Lou, because you guys are
so good together.

Speaker 4 (06:47):
I mean, heaven. She's literally my sister. She's my ady,
bitny baby sister. I love her with my whole heart.
I have never met another human being like her. I
never will as long as I live. I want her
in my life forever.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
She's very unique.

Speaker 4 (07:01):
I listened to her episode with you guys. She's just
the most beautiful, pure spirit, Like she is such a pure,
rare human who just is so full of love and
like like if you paid her to be mean to someone,
she couldn't do it.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
Like it's just she's so lovable, Like she's so quirky
and lovable, and it's almost like she's an actress who's
just like like what she did my podcast and then
she was leaving. She was moving to Arizona, and I'm like,
why are you doing such a thing? And she's like,
I don't know, my family's there, and you know, I'll
just come.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Well, this happened while we were filming. She was like,
I'm the Arizona. We like looked at the houses, she
found the house that she liked, she like did the
thing and was doing this huge move. I'm so she's
so impressive in so many ways. She takes such big
risks that to me sound like terrifying into her. She's like,
this just feels like something I want to do right now.

(07:57):
Like she follows her intuition and she follows how she feels.
She's just remarkable.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Anyway, we're going to dedicate this podcast episode to Hailey Lewish.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Yeah did you?

Speaker 1 (08:09):
And did you get her book? Her book of poetry?
That of course I did? Okay, good, Yes I did.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
She's so cute.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
Yes, yes, yes I felt that on my little Instagram.

Speaker 1 (08:17):
Nice Russian by the way, did you have to learn
Russian for this role?

Speaker 4 (08:20):
I mean yeah, this was massive. This was like the
biggest I I have never worked hard at any on
any job ever, and I never will again. It was
literally like half my lines are Russian. I did not
speak Russian. I'm not a linguist speak English, and I
pretend that I can speak French, and that's pretty much.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
You speak the Queen's English. So that's actually that's a
feather in your pocket as well. Okay, the proper English.

Speaker 4 (08:48):
Okay, double language, double English.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah, so you did you have to learn Russian.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Russian is a I have a Russian sister in law,
so I'm familiar with the language.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
And it's tricky.

Speaker 4 (08:59):
It's so this sounds are not like you don't hear
Slavic sounds all the time in Europe, Like it's not
it's not a sound that I'm hearing all the time.
So I just couldn't get my mouth around it for
half of it. And so I had this incredible dialect
coach who was completely remarkable, and he created this whole Oh,

(09:21):
this whole thing. There's like a memory palace. There was stories,
there were like what is this rushing word? Sound like
an English And then there were images and I had
to learn their images to learn the story, to learn
the words, to learn the lines. This was like a
five step process.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, a real pain in the ass, especially for me.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
You say this is the hardest you've ever worked with
all of the movies that you've done. That's saying a
lot because being a mother to dragons, being in the
Star Wars, all of the nonsense that you've gotten up
to in this like sci fi world, pretending that you
have two dragons as babies is that was Oh, that's right, three,
what am I talking about?

Speaker 2 (09:59):
You know what? It's funny.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
I just came back from Antarctica and I was they
have these icebergs, right. You go on these excursions and
the icebergs are so massive that you and you get
on kayaks and you and you're like kind of you know,
you're riding around and you're circling the icebergs, and then
they're so big that when you get closer, they kind
of unduly and they go up and down.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
And I said, I was like, this is like one
of those dragons from King Thrones.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I was like, this is like a real life, eating,
breathing thing that's alive.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
And then I got to so like you definitely experience.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
You're looking at a tennis ball when we're looking at
a dragon.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
I'm looking at a tennis bowl and I'm looking at
three guys trying to not catch my eye holding the
tennis bowl at the end of a big ball.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Yeah, that is difficult. That's some tough stuff.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Okay, So tell me, like with the spectrum of all
of this work that you're doing, because this is this
isn't lighter fare, but it's.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's got comedy in it.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
It's like, yeah, it's tongue in chic and and it's
chemistry and it's kind of like it's a nice duo
of women rather than men doing this show. So I
obviously really like that. But with everything you do I do,
I am interested in your process and how you break
things down, Like how do you look at acting and
how do you take on these roles whether it's something
totally sci fi or whether it's more rooted. And this

(11:18):
is a period piece that takes place in Rusho a
long time ago, but like, how do you approach all
of that?

Speaker 4 (11:23):
Okay? So it's definitely changed throughout the years. I mean
I started pretty much on Game of Thrones, and I
was pretty much straight out of drama school, like a
year out of drama school. So I on Game of
Thrones used to hide between parked cars to prepare because
I needed to prepare and I needed like space and

(11:43):
time and like I'm having a panic attack and what
am I doing? And this is my first big job
and the eighties I didn't understand an AD's job was
to make sure they knew where you were, and they
that's their job. I would be like, why why did
they want me? Why'd people calling my name like this
is did you give me some give me a it's
And then I realized that they had to and I
was not helping them by hiding. And so I think

(12:05):
that in the beginning it was very much like drama
school training. There's a right way to do this. I'm
a I'm goodie shoes shoes. I want to do the
right one, upset anyone. I want to do the right
down thing. So that was it, and I found that
if I so, when you're in a set the people,
you have your stand ins to do the lighting right.

(12:26):
And I used to be like, but if I do
my own stand in stuff, then I get to have
some alone.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Time, alone time to prepare.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
And then you do other jobs and you're like, this
isn't I can't keep this up. This is just not
I didn't.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Keep the stick up.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
First of all, it's a surprise to hear that there
were cars on the set of Game of Thrones. Okay,
so that's a spoil alert right there. I had no
idea you guys were dealing with any.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
Sort of modern day machinery.

Speaker 4 (12:55):
Yeah, in between the dragons, and then I don't know,
you get older and you'll changes. I think for me,
I like, you know, the sets of families, you're there
for a long amount of time. It turns into this,
like how do I manage my energy? How do I
make sure that when the cameras are rolling and it's
this thing that's gonna last forever or as long as

(13:16):
people want to watch it, that like I'm doing my
job as best I can, and that literally is like
an energy thing. So I'll do a lot of preparation
before the job, and I'll do a lot of reading.
I'll reread the scripture and baginion times. I'll like watch
the stuff that's helpful. I'll craft the character together or
have my little notebook. I'll have my sound my music

(13:38):
like playlist, stuff like all of those things that when
I turn up, I've done it already, and then I
can like shoot the ship with everyone that set and
feel good that I know what I'm what, what is?
What's already?

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Once you're prepped enough than anything can come your way
and you're like, all right, I got this, you know,
like theme, it's the same for comedy. It's like, as
long as you're you've got your game together and you're
shit together, if someone is heckling in the audience or
someone's drunk or whatever, if something a joke doesn't it
doesn't matter. Because you're so well prepared, you can easily
pivot exactly.

Speaker 4 (14:09):
And like I feel for me, I'm definitely an intuitive actors,
so I'm not I mean you would not. I'm the
furthest thing from a method actor you can possibly imagine,
like I'll be like and then she said, in an
action you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (14:19):
Like it's it.

Speaker 4 (14:21):
I don't need that so much, but I do need
to feel safe in the environment that I'm filming in.
So you want to like I'm friends with you know,
I want to I want to know the crew well.
I want to feel like we're all in this together,
and then I can embarras because sometimes acting is embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
It is you know, you're doing a.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
Sex scene and you're like, hey, Tim, how are you
had a good day. Yeah, let me. I'm just going
to get back to It's so I think that's kind
of one of the the ways that my process or
like how I deal with acting has changed throughout the years.
But it's also feeling like in the moment you're ready
to pivot, you're because it's one thing like when I

(15:00):
as a kid, you would you know, you'd you'd be
in your hotel room. You'd be like right stand here
and say it like this, and he's gonna be there,
and I'm so prepared and you're like so tense, and
that doesn't help because you can upset and everything's in
your acting with people. Sometimes the tennis ball, but sometimes
people and they're gonna bring their own thing, and then
they got a director who's going to have his own opinion.

(15:21):
So I like to go with I'd like to I
like to feel as free as I can in the
scene to be able to react to whatever I need
to react to, to be able to like take the
right direction, listen to the other person respond accordingly without
having too much of my idea of how I think
this should go.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Yeah, because I mean playing something like Denara's Targerian did
I say that right that you said, it's so right. Wow,
another mollifluous name that you have. You have a lot
of you have a lot of syllables in all of
your characters' names. I do, yeah, but playing someone like that,
like that's a fucking bold Like you have to come
out and like you know, you are commanding, Like I'm
as of presence for that show. Yeah, you're the lead,

(16:03):
Like you have to come out and do something that's
so not rooted in reality, and like that's a huge swing.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
So watching the presence that you had during that show.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Never I mean, we'll obviously we're gonna cover all your performances, but.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
I just want to say, as if you were you're.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Like whoa, because you have to be a powerhouse to
pull that off and make it convincing, because that would
be for me if someone said you're gonna play a
mother to dragons, I'd bean like, please don't make me
do that, Like.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
I don't know, but I don't have the skill set
to pull that off. Well I didn't, so it's an undertaking.

Speaker 4 (16:38):
I mean I didn't, and like you know, from the
beginning of the show, I agree with it. She was
really like nervous and scared and didn't know anything, and
like as the things, as the seasons went on, she
got more and more and more. You know, by the
end she's a bad ass motherfucker. But in the beginning
she wasn't at all. So I think I kind of
grew with her. And it's weird. The camera turns on

(17:02):
and like something else happens, like you just like you
can This is going to sound like a really weird example,
but you can tell whenever. So I had to do
a lot of riding horses on game zones. In the beginning,
I suck at it.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
I fell off with the just let you ride a
tennis ball.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
Exactly. I mean there was one time where it was
going so badly they put me on the camera dolly
and pretended just put a load of axes around it,
and I was like, yeah, riding the horse and riding barries,
camera trolley And as soon as you get on a horse,
the horse feels everything that you're feeling, right, So if
your hit scared the horses, like get off, I stop it.

(17:42):
This is and I'm gonna go crazy. And there were
times when I was like, I'm calm, everything's calm. The
horses calm, everything's good. They yell action and you can
feel because the horse is like what, there's a tension,
do you know what I mean? Something changes? So I
feel definitely, put me on camera, have someone say action,

(18:02):
and I can access something else that is.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
I guess that's what being an actor is. Like I
heard Leo DiCaprio talking the other day. They're like, so
do you do all your scenes high? When you're high,
do you smoke the guy? Or when you're playing a
stoner in battle one battle after another, are you smoking?

Speaker 2 (18:17):
And he goes, no, I'm acting, that's what.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
Why not?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
I'm acting? And I was like, good answer.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
You don't have to drink in a scene where you're
drinking if you're actually an actor.

Speaker 4 (18:29):
Exactly exactly. Yes, So yeah, I suppose it's the Yeah,
and then you do it so long it's your job
and it just it just.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
I'm kind of hardwired.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
So when you were riding the horses, was that? Were
you riding the horses when you were supposed to be
riding the dragons.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
No, I was riding the horses. When I was riding
the horses, but I sucks to riding the horses, like,
thank god, they put me on a dragon.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
And so when you were riding the dragon, what were
you riding an Actually I.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
Was riding a This was fun. I was riding a
big green kind of imagine like an ninja turtle shell,
but like very very big, on this huge hydraulic system
and it all had like moving parts on like me,
really really big scaffolding in like a huge aircraft hangar
all the way up the top. And they have it

(19:16):
on a on a like program which makes sense, like
you know, it took a day to film two minutes
worth of me on a dragon, basically really, And so
I would be up there and you'd have to look
like you were driving the dragon. It's not driving the dragon.
Riding No, I think you're right.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
I'm not driving the dragon.

Speaker 4 (19:38):
Sometimes it's called chasing the dragon sometimes sometimes. And so
I'm there and you have to predict what the preprogrammed
thing is going to be and then have on one
of the shoots that get breaking down, and they'd be
giving me my notes and I'd be like, yeah, carry on,
I'm just gonna let this like ride up. It just
it was. It was super intense, but sometimes very fun.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
And I know you were talking publicly. This is something
that if you're okay to talk about, I would love to.
I know you talked publicly about being having some two
brain aneurysms while you were filming Game of Thrones?

Speaker 2 (20:08):
How yes, how are you doing? How was that recovery?
Can you talk about it?

Speaker 4 (20:13):
I mean, so, the recovery was non existent because I
didn't have time. So I shot Season one of Game
of Thrones first, like you know, paying or whatever a
job money doing the thing that I loved, and then
we finished. We wrapped that Christmas, and in February of
the next year, I have my first brain hemmrhy j.

(20:35):
I was in the gym. It was obviously a massive shock,
rushed a hospital. They saved my life. I then was
in hospital for three weeks and they couldn't tell HBO
for two weeks until they knew I wasn't going to die,
that this had happened. And I got to the hospital
and in my lucid moments, was like trying to pull
out the wires to be like I got to get

(20:56):
to work. What are you doing? Yeah? I can't, And
so they saved my life. Incredible, the incredible NHS and
then I had like six weeks maybe, and then I
was on the press tool for my first ever press
tool with morphine. Oh whoa, Yeah, it was super It

(21:17):
was super super intense. But having Game of Thrones and
having the job was the thing that got me through.
And then the second time it happened, that just sucked.
That was just super annoying because I spoke to David
and Dan and they were like again, like how did that?
And the second one was a procedure that went wrong,
and so that resulted in a much bigger bleed and
they had to then do like I had this big scar,

(21:40):
they had to like crack my head open.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Oh and that's god.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
I mean, how does one get a brain aneurysm? This
is just the luck of the draw.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah, so how do you eate a brain mridge? I
was born with a weakness in my arteries. That's hereditary.
That Like if I were have a baby, I be
like get that baby in an MRI machine immediately so
I can see if Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
And do you have an avenue for a preventative, like
like is this is something like that you can help
do certain things to prevent.

Speaker 4 (22:10):
I mean, don't take drugs, don't do stuff that's going
to raise your blood pressure, but essentially don't work too hard,
I know, right, which is the same thing. Honestly, there's nothing.
There's there's like, I'm in a very good spot. I
get my brain scanned every year. I'm I'm in the
like not point not onet percent of people who survive
what I've had without any real repercussions.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. I'm so glad
to hear that.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
When you were talking about that publicly a couple of
years ago, I was like, wait what, Yeah, oh my god,
I'm working through that. And I mean, honestly, actors put
up with more shit than anybody else, Like actors work
through sickness, and I mean I know from my I'm
not an actor, I'm a comedian, but I worked through
every We act like we're saving lives, like I work
through any sort of anything.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
I know.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
It was such a shock because it was the first
time I'd ever ever ever had anyone on any set
be like, you're not well, do you need to come
in You don't have to work today? Yeah, brain images,
broken roads, broken hips. I did a whole job without
realizing I've broken my hip. The show must go on.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah, it's apparently the show must go on.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
So what is an ideal day off like for you,
like Dale had your druthers and you have nothing to
do and nothing scheduled.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
What would it look like?

Speaker 4 (23:24):
Okay, so it would look like seeing friends. It would
look like going for a very lovely dinner. It would
look like get the papers, read my books, go for walks,
go out.

Speaker 2 (23:36):
Are you a big book reader? Theater?

Speaker 4 (23:38):
I'm a massive reader. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
What's the last book that you've read that you loved.

Speaker 4 (23:41):
That I loved? I went, I did the whole of
the book a prize list. I'm a nerd, and my
favorite one on that was this book called Sea Scrapper
by Benjamin Wood. It's only itty bitdy, it's tiny, and
it's incredible.

Speaker 2 (23:55):
Oh thank you.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
We like recommendation, book recommendations for our audience their readers. Now,
I like that you have a life hack. You talk
about flipping nervousness into confidence. I feel like this is
something I can relate to. So can you speak a
little bit about that, Because it's not being fearless, it's
facing its face. It's facing fear right.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
Yeah, exactly, it's kind of realizing that that same energy
that you're experiencing is excitement in disguise. So like, you
know those nerves. I'm sure you don't. You're too good
to get nerves before going on stage, to get nerves
before like doing your work. But I definitely still get them.

(24:35):
Or even just like I don't know, you're going to
a dinner and you know one person and you're like, fuck,
this is I'm out of my comfort zone. It's the
same like energy frequency as excitement. You've just got adrenaline.
You've just got like excess adrenaline, which is all that
is is your body telling you that you're a ready
and prepared for anything and that you care kind of

(24:55):
and that you care. Yeah, although sometimes me thinking that
I care can turned into like that that ends up
being the thing of like carrying too much.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
Oh yeah, I know, well I had myself. My therapist
put it to me one way. He's like, you know,
if you're nervous, that means you care. And I was like, oh,
I had never thought about that. I was always in
my younger years, was always trying to fast forward the
like if I had the fear, it was like no, no,
I'm okay, Like you know, to just try and kind
of put a shield around it and be like I'm
just going to power through this instead of I think

(25:24):
it's really important now as I'm older to acknowledge the
fear and embrace it, because it just it means you care.
And it's not fear, Like nervousness isn't fear. It's excitement.
It doesn't mean like you're going to fail. It means
you're excited to get out there and that you care
about what you're about to do.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely no. I think it's Yeah, how do
you channel your energy? How do some of us? Someone
once said, how do you get your butterflies flying? In formation?

Speaker 2 (25:49):
Yeah? What do you remember the most nervous you've ever been?

Speaker 4 (25:54):
It's always before I sing. I remember I did it.
I sung at Carnegie Hall for Richard that place leaving
do of HBO, and he asked me to sing a song.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
And I was like, what, like, oh, like all these
oh yeah people, you.

Speaker 4 (26:16):
Your famous people?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
What the fuck?

Speaker 4 (26:19):
But anytime I have to sing, like I did this
movie that's gonna come out maybe at some point this year,
and I was a singer in that, And anytime I
have to sing publicly, it's fear like I'm gonna throw up,
like I'm gonna like I'm I'm in the wings being
like I'm just gonna go. I'm just gonna I'm just
gonna I'm gonna leave. Yeah, and you'll fin and it'll

(26:40):
be fine because you'll have missed this terrible car crash
that's about to happen.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
I like that. I like that. It's good to know.
It's good to know. I mean, I could imagine. Yeah,
you whatever your main gig is, you're like, Okay, I'm
good with this, but any side hustle you're like, oh god.

Speaker 4 (26:54):
I haven't got my ten thousand hours.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
You're not so secretive about other actors that you're obsessed with,
Like who is your Who are you crushing on now?

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Man? Woman? Actor?

Speaker 4 (27:03):
Like?

Speaker 2 (27:03):
Who are you into right now?

Speaker 4 (27:06):
Who am I into? Halelu motherfucking Richardson?

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, totally.

Speaker 4 (27:13):
Who do I love right now? I mean Jesse Bucky Forever.
She's my number one, Yeah, my number one movie.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
That was one of my favorite books too. Did you
read Hamnet?

Speaker 4 (27:21):
I did, Yes, that was a beautiful, beautiful book.

Speaker 2 (27:24):
And she's so fun to watch win, you know.

Speaker 4 (27:26):
Yes, And then also I do have to say the
joy of saying. Gwyneth paltrowgan, yeah, I haven't. I'm like,
Gwinny's back, I know, I know.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
And you know what's so funny, I was like, what
if you know what? You have been talking about vaginas.
You have been selling us vagina goodies. You have been
interviewing people about sex. It's about time we got to
see you have sex. We need to see you more
having more sex. In my opinion, she needs to keep
her clothes off on camera. Agree, or the benefit of
the rest of us, because she she took a big
break and now she's back and she needs to fully

(28:03):
just release.

Speaker 4 (28:04):
Yes and I see you have sex with young men.

Speaker 2 (28:07):
On camera, all of us. Please message received.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Okay, So we're going to take a break and we're
going to be right back with Amelia Clark.

Speaker 2 (28:17):
And we're back with Amelia Clark. Okay.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
So now we're going to segue into the part of
the show where we take some callers. They call in
for life advice and then we just give it to
them straight.

Speaker 4 (28:30):
I'm god amazing.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
All right.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
Our first question comes from Eduardo. The subject line is Chelsea,
please tell me why my boyfriend's mattress has no sheets.
Dear Chelsea, I'm writing because I think I'm starting to
lose my patience and maybe myself in my relationship. I've
been dating someone for a little over a year. We
don't live together, but whenever I go stay at his place,
it somehow turns into a cleaning weekend. I end up

(28:54):
washing his dishes, throwing away leftovers he's forgotten in the fridge,
kitchen or table, tidy his bed, and trying to make
the place feel halfway livable. Meanwhile, he just doesn't seem
to care. It's not like I'm obsessed with cleaning.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
I'm really not.

Speaker 3 (29:08):
But for example, when he buys vegetables, he just puts
them in the fridge with actual dirt still on them.
He buys too much food, it goes bad, and he
doesn't even bother to throw it out. It's like living
in a low budget science experiment. We've already talked about
this more than once, but nothing changes. It's reached the
point where every time he invites me over on my
day off, I feel this mix of discomfort and low

(29:29):
key anger, like I'm going to visit my boyfriend, but
I'll be doing chores. I've even caught myself telling him
the kitchen must be clean or I won't cook like
I'm his mother, and that makes me feel kind of awful.
Last week, I noticed his sheets were really dirty, so
I took them off and put them in the washer
before I left. Six days later, when I came back
to spend my weekend off with him, the mattress was

(29:50):
still bare. He had been sleeping on a blanket I'd
left on the bed, just waiting for the sheets.

Speaker 2 (29:55):
To dry for six days.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
As soon as I saw the bed, I felt tired
already and on just wanted to go back home. The
real problem is that when I try to talk about
how I feel about the mess, he tends to dismiss
it or make a joke. I want to be with
someone I can grow with, not someone I have to parent.
So Chelsea, what do you think? Am I overreacting? Or
is this the Universe's way of telling me it's time
to clean up more than just his kitchen With love

(30:18):
and a pair of dish gloves from Buenos airis Eduardo?

Speaker 2 (30:21):
Okay, EDWARDO, it's a wrap on this. First of all, there.

Speaker 1 (30:26):
Is nothing grosser than when men do not know how
to be hygienic in their own place. I had a
girlfriend that was dealing with this. She was my girlfriend
was dealing with a guy she had a long distance relationship.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
And she went to his house. It was the same situation.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
She said she was so grossed out by the way
he lived and how unkempt he was, Like how he
would you know, like the kitchen and the sheets. It's
a real sign of someone's personality when they can't figure
out how to adult and grow up, you know what
I mean. Like, it's a real sign of like and
then bringing it to their attention that should be one
and done conversation, Like if they're interested in maintaining this relationship,

(31:01):
and that's important to you. The hygiene of their house
where you're spending time not taking sheets out of a
dryer or a washer for six days is disgusting because
the mattress as an adult is disgusting. So like, it's
not going to change if you're you have to decide
if this is a deal breaker.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
It would be for me. It would totally be a
deal breaker for me.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
I mean, I've never been with someone gross like that,
but I mean, men are men could be gross, but
this is a gay man.

Speaker 2 (31:27):
It sounds like.

Speaker 3 (31:30):
I was shocked to see Eduardo at the end of this.
I'm like, you would expect this from a straight yet not.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Expect this from like a hetero man, not a gay man.
So yeah, but there's exceptions to all rules. But I mean,
I don't know, Amelia, what do you think would you
be down to party with.

Speaker 5 (31:45):
Kidding?

Speaker 4 (31:45):
No, absolutely categorical not the dumb sheets on the bed.
If you don't know how to take care of yourself,
how on earth are you going to take.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Care of me?

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Like right, there you go, there we go, period, end
of story. But also grows also buying vegetables and then
not rinsing them off in the sink, like even I
know about that?

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Like that that is so ridiculous. All of it is
just kind of an ick.

Speaker 4 (32:09):
Yeah, nobody. Also, it just speaks to like a bigger
thing of this man clearly doesn't think much of himself
and isn't like right, he doesn't sound like he knows
what's up with him. So how would how would earth
could you trust your happiness and yourself and your romance?

Speaker 2 (32:26):
What like this?

Speaker 4 (32:27):
You're like, yeah, having sexual relations on a mattress with
no shoe. Yeah, yeah, exactly, all of it and that
it's making me really deeply uncomfortable. Gorgeous man needs to
get out of this like yesterday.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Also, you should only have to have one conversation about
a serious topic in your relationship. In my humble opinion,
you should have one serious conversation about something that's important
to you. And if that person isn't receptive and makes
changes knowing how important it is to you, then then
it's a moot point. There's no point to discuss it
over and over at infinitum.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
And that's and that's the end of that story. What
do we what's next? Catherine?

Speaker 3 (33:01):
Okay, Well, our first caller today is Jared, and Jared says,
ten years ago, I moved my queer black ass from
the East Coast to San Diego to get sober.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
Then two years ago I.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Moved to La to be in a more creative and
cosmopolitan scene. I had a remote job, but that ended
a little over a year ago. I spent the last
year taking every possible action to earn an income, but
I cannot get hired to save my life. It's almost comical.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
At this point.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
I got snubbed for a job begging groceries a trader Joe's.
My car is busted and not eligible to drive uber.
I'm one hundred percent pro sex work, but I don't
think my forty three year old stock would command a
livable wage. My retirement is gone. That old bourbon and
cocaine habit wasn't exactly four roh one k friendly, and
there's no secret family money. And I'm in a program
to help.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Me earn effectively.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Throughout all this, losing the job, losing my dog, the
space away from boring dust jobs, I've seen my little
creative queen come out of herschell. I can't believe all
the talent and joy I suppressed for so many years,
especially writing and performing. To say it, Chelsea, but I
want to learn to be a comedy writer and maybe
do stand up. I know I can't just start doing
open mics and expect to pay rent. And even though

(34:08):
I'm still applying to big boy office jobs, I don't
want to stifle my creativity again. Now Here, I am
mid forties, broke, embarrassed that I want to start over
as a comedian while my peers are buying vacation homes,
living off alimony, and sending kids to college. So Chelsea,
how do I balance getting out of financial and emotional
survival mode while also trying to enter a new industry.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
I didn't move to La to be.

Speaker 3 (34:29):
In quote unquote Hollywood yuck, but I did move to
be more of myself. I've always been told I have
a special talent and energy, and that I should get
hired just to be myself. I just don't know what
to do in order to get the ball rolling and
not end up evicted or in another soulless job in
the process.

Speaker 2 (34:45):
Am I too old to start over? Chelsea? What do
I need to.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Do to be strong and confident to make a living
spreading light and making others feel better? Sincerely, Jared, Hi,
Jared think Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Hi, Hi Jared.

Speaker 1 (34:57):
This is our special guest, Amelia Clarke is here today.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (35:01):
Great to see you all.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Oh, great to see you well.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
I mean, first of all, a couple things like this
is happy that you are. Your letter says a lot
of things. It says like you're in a transitional period
in your life. You're also like you're broke and you're
out of work. But while that could be, you're like
the lowest point for many people, you're also discovering that
you have some other like creative outlets that you want
to explore, and I think that's a great thing.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
I think you need to focus on getting a job.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
We need to get you a job so you have
money coming in so you can pay your rent, and
then comedies at nighttime, so don't they don't have to
preclude each other like you can't. You can do both
of those things, you know what I mean. You need
to be financially stable. That's the most that's the main
priority I think for you right now. So we need
to get you a job, and then once you're like
situated in that, then you could spend your time going

(35:49):
to open mics and exploring all of this stand up.
You know, stand up's not going anywhere, so and I
wouldn't worry about what age you are, Like people rediscover
themselves throughout their entire lives. There's no age, don't you
you agree, Amelia, There's no expiration.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Date of when you can become something or start anew.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
I think the most important thing is to recognize that
you do have that desire and Okay, now you're going
to make a plan forward. Like the job, it's for sustainability,
and like your support it's not to give you everything
in life, because you're going to go look for that
with comedy and other places.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
So I think that makes it easier.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Probably to kind of look for more a broader spectrum
of jobs than maybe you were looking for initially.

Speaker 5 (36:29):
That's awesome. Yeah, keeping an open mind for sure, comedies
at night, that's a great reminder all the nighttime. It's
hard for me.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Yeah, nobody's doing comedy in the morning, so don't worry
about that. You're not missing out during the day.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
Perfect.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Yeah, and Jared, I know when I was in a
similar situation, like before I got into podcasting, I was
sort of like, Okay, I'm going for these marketing gigs.
It's like quote unquote what I know how to do,
even though I was already like doing podcasting on the side.
And finally I was just like, fuck it, I'm going
to go after the jobs that are like actually in
the field I want to be in, rather than sort

(37:04):
of selling myself short going for these other things and
like it might be an entry level thing, but at
the same time, like I would set yourself up for
success and start moving toward even if it's like super
super entry level or something really part time, like just
see what's out there in where you want to be.

Speaker 5 (37:20):
Yeah, I've been doing assistant work and actually sober coach
companion work, which is really fulfilling and I think I'm
good at it. It's kind of sporadic, but absolutely, you're
right getting stable. I also feel like this is like
the exact territory I need to be in to create
some great, actual real comedy. Like it's funny.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
Yeah, and also sober coaching is also funny.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
The things that you have to do and like, and
that's actually great, Like that's a nice like little panoply
of things you have. Like you need a job you
can do sober coaching. Does that pay sober coaching or
is that just kind of voluntary? Oh it does really well?

Speaker 4 (37:56):
Yeah? Oh great, oh great?

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Oh family answered your own problem, Amelia.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
Was there anything that you did when you were like
working in catering or whatever else to sort of make
sure that you were working on your craft all of
the time or not letting sort of that creative spark die.

Speaker 4 (38:14):
Yeah. I mean I think, first all, Jared, congratulations on
the incredible work you've done on yourself. That is more
than a lot of people. I think that should be
like remarkable, absolutely brilliant and amazing that you know very
clearly the kind of creative work that you want to do.
But I think just because you know that you want
to do comedy doesn't mean that you can't do all

(38:35):
the other creative things as well in any ways that
they might move you, because that's just gonna I know
that when I was doing nine jobs and then like
post drama school, pre drama school or whatever, and you're like,
the goal is this thing, and then everything else around
it just kind of sucks in comparison because I'm just
trying to pay my rent. And I think that so

(38:57):
then if whatever other create avenues, you can explore for
fun without any pressure, without any like this is what
I have to do with the rest of my life.
This is you know, whether you're like something arty or
something musical or something you know in the kitchen or whatever,
it is to make sure that your soul is still

(39:19):
being fulfilled, because I know that when I worked at
a call center and a bar, I got depressed.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
I got sad.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
I got really really sad, like where you're like, I'm
doing the job thing, but I get to do none
of the other stuff, right, I'm not missing out because
I'm not getting paid to do this other stuff that
I've decided that's what my career is going to be.
Then everything else sort of pales into comparison. So I think,
whatever are the ways you can do to make sure
that your joy bucket is still being you know, full?

Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, and don't think of anything as like as permanent,
you know what I mean? You kind of have to
like we always get this idea of like the final
like we don't think like I remember when I waited
tables for like ten years or seven years. I felt
like ten but like I just wanted my life to
begin like that. I was like, this isn't my life. Meanwhile,
that was my life, Like that was my life during

(40:10):
that time. But I didn't think my life began until
I started to have some success, and I kind of
like I didn't miss those moments, but I miss knowing
that this wasn't forever either, Like I was so impatient
about getting where I wanted to go that it's really
important to remember the ride is as important as a destination,
like what you do to get there, and knowing that

(40:30):
you're not going to be doing anything forever permanently you
know what I mean, or a situation you're in is
never going to be permanent. So to know like you're
working towards something and while you're working towards that, to
enjoy all of the things that go with it awesome.

Speaker 4 (40:44):
Yeah. And then also what does success in comedy look like?
Because you know that fame isn't real, right, it isn't
understanding Okay, on a day basis, what would success feel
like being in doing the thing that you love to
do without having the like in order to yeah, you

(41:06):
know be because it's just it's not it's not you know,
always the nicest experience. And exactly is Chelsea was saying
the bits on the way there. That's the fun, that's
the good time, that's the like, Chelsea, do you agree
with me or no?

Speaker 1 (41:22):
Yeah, well I know you You actually have a great
quote about that, Amelia where you talk about like getting
what you need out of the work right and your
you know, your reviews don't matter.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
It's actually like what you what are you getting out of?
What are you doing?

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Because we always there's like, yeah, we have this kind
of success system, which means we're noticed, we're famous or successful,
and that's not the measure of success.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
That's kind of it's illusory.

Speaker 1 (41:47):
And it's not real, like Amelia saying, even though it looks,
you know, from the outside, it can look like that's
what you want to attain, but it's really much more
full bodied than that.

Speaker 5 (41:59):
Yeah, connecting with people, making them laugh, share.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Writing joys, barn humor, you know, making sure you're like yeah,
and you seem like you have a very high spirit,
like you're on a nice high frequency. So like make
sure you're bringing that, you know, with everything you do,
and then it kind of all blends together. I know,
my life blends together, my professional and my private all
of it's kind of like, yeah, I'll watch together because
that's the kind of vibe I want to have. Is like, yeah,

(42:24):
I'm not you know, I don't take it too seriously.
I'm not precious about my work. I'm like just truthful
and honest, and I know that's my kind of thing.
Like I'm gonna say it like it is, and that's
what people like about me, and I like that about myself.
So it's like just being very authentic to who you
are in the process, I think is and Amelia, that's
something that you know, I could recognize in you too,

(42:44):
you know, like what you're bringing to all of these
different roles and especially even in this last show she's
she's on here to promote a new show called Ponies,
which is on Peacock. It's just like I can see
the humanity in you and everything that you do. And
I would say that that is something to aim for
as as a creative, to be as authentic as you
can in every endeavor and that includes the shit you

(43:05):
don't like to do.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
Also, yeah then yeah, okay, well good luck to you,
so happy, so much awesome, Thanks Jared, Jared.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
It's so true what you said about fame amilia because
you know, like as a famous.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Person, you I know that that's not real.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
But you people that are aspiring to be in it
in this industry, that's what they think.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Then that is the success.

Speaker 4 (43:33):
Yes, And it's like the thing I always say is
it's vapor. It doesn't exist. You can't hold onto it,
you can't define it, you can't like because whatever fame
brings you on Monday, it's going to take away on Tuesday.
You don't you know what I mean? Like you're you're
the flavor of the months for a second, and then
you're not or then like you know, you don't do
a bunch of stuff and people don't recognize you much,
and then you do, and then you'll suddenly back in

(43:54):
it and you'll it just all it goes to show
is like it does, doesn't It's not real. It's not
like Yeah, these when like young people come up to
me and you know, they want to be an actor
or whatever. My first thing is always, can you think
of anything else that you can do?

Speaker 2 (44:10):
Because pointed it.

Speaker 4 (44:13):
Do that, because if there's anything else you can do,
it has to be the only thing you can do
to commit to like levels of failure, the level of like.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
The rejection, the rejection and the failure and the rejection.
Even when you're successful, you're like wait what You're like,
how did that happen?

Speaker 4 (44:31):
Exactly? Like this's the same thing, but the goalposts just
keep moving, they move with you.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
What was it like for you when you realized that
Game of Thrones when it hit the way it hit
and you realize how famous all of you guys had become?
What how did that? Was that a mind fuck at
all for you? Or how did you handle that?

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (44:48):
So I had I had a slow build into it
because I was not blonde, so I was unrecognizable for
the first like three three foot like for the first
like three to four seasons, I'd be walking down on
the street with Kit and people would be like, can
you take off photo? As in, can I take the
picture of them with Kit? I'm like, yeah, absolut blooding lately,
I can you do it? And then stuff something flipped

(45:10):
and I think I became recognizable for the hair color
that I had or whatever it was. Anyway, So then
as that started to progress, I used to just get
panic attacks, like it really it like sucker punched me
in a way that I like people. I like talking
to people, I like meeting people, and fame stops that
from happening. So I'm bummed hard. I was like, that's

(45:33):
that's really annoying. That's really frustrating that Like sometimes I
don't know if you find it. I'm a walking conversation stopper,
not to a table of people. You know most of them,
but not all of them, and they see you and
you're like, whether or not they know me, like me
seeing the work, whatever, it doesn't seem to matter. It's
you're enough of like an oddity for everyone to be like, huh,

(45:57):
well this changes things, and they're like, okay, I'll just
work on I'll do you want to drink, I'll stay
at the ball.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
You know what I mean? Like, I like that what
you're saying.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
That's it's yeah, we don't talk about that a lot
on this podcast. We don't talk about the actual act
of being famous and what that is because it's so rare,
I guess, and it's probably not that relatable to so
many listeners because they're like, sorry, no, but it's insightful.
I think it's insightful for people to know, because people do.
I'm very regular and like, you know, people come up
to me like they know me, and you know, they

(46:28):
kind of do it because I'm not acting.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
I'm just kind of my own personality.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
But like the awkwardness, Like the things that people say
are always like when people go my favorite thing is
where do I know you from? As if we're going
to sit there and list all of her credits, I'm like,
well it could be from this or I'm or they go,
I know you, who are you? I'm like, yeah, no,
that's not how this is going to go with this conversation.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, but they say make me feel.

Speaker 1 (46:53):
Yeah, I know you're famous. Let me take a picture.
And I'm like, wait, no, you don't just get because
I'm famous.

Speaker 2 (46:58):
You don't even know who I am.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
But yeah, it's it's kind of I like to make
it the least amount of awkward as I possibly can
for people, but people can be incredibly awkward around famous people.

Speaker 4 (47:10):
Yes, But I suppose the reason for me to say
it is that, like we still as a culture is
still coveting fame, coveting success, coveting money, coveting all these
like how everything looks. And I know this is enough
people who've been speaking about this for enough time, But
still the truth of it is not the aspirational thing.

Speaker 3 (47:35):
Yeah you know what I mean, Like, it's not what
you think it's going to be before you get it
sort of thing.

Speaker 4 (47:39):
No. Yeah, there's like others, there's loads of other things
that are more fun and more important.

Speaker 2 (47:45):
Yeah. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be
right back and we're going to wrap it up with
our last color and we're back with the very delightful
Amelia Clark. What do we have to close out our
show our therapy session today?

Speaker 2 (48:01):
Catherine?

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Okay, Well, Julia writes, Dear Chelsea, from the ages of
twenty five to thirty, I was in a really tumultuous
on off relationship.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Who was it? Hy Y.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
That's an extreme understatement, but he's not the reason I'm
writing in. When I finally got out of that for good,
I settled into being independent and single, Like a fish
in water. I did things for myself, went to therapy,
made changes in my life all for the better, and
I did it all on my own. I was totally
fulfilled for four years. A little over a year ago,
my job went away thanks to a Republican takeover in

(48:35):
my state. I moved across the country so I could
keep working in my field and honestly for a fresh
start in other ways too.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
I've settled into my new life.

Speaker 3 (48:42):
It's definitely been harder without a big network of friends,
but I liked my job. I make more money, and
I have made friends with a lot of my neighbors.
We have a really nice little pot of people helping
each other out with dogs, kids, yard work. We have
group dinners, all very wholesome and lovely. One of those
friends is my next door neighbor. We spent almost every
night hanging out together, just chatting in the backyard. Eventually

(49:03):
he told me he liked me, and I told him
I liked him too. At first, I felt mad at
him for ruining our backyard vibes, but when I stopped
being thrown off balance, we started dating. It's been five months,
and since we're on two sides of a duplex with
a door in the middle, it's very much like a
live in relationship. All these things that I thought were
dead and buried for me, my sex drive, being cuddly, cooking,
and watching TV with another person are all back with

(49:25):
a vengeance. All of a sudden, I find myself thinking
about him all the time, buying groceries that will make
him happy, actually wanting to give him head, even doing
his laundry. All my friends and family are thrilled that
I'm in a couple and thriving. A lot of people
had already met him as my neighbor slash bestie, so
they're very happy with the turn of events. We also
have a years with a friendship under our belt, so
it really feels like we've got a big head start

(49:46):
on the whole intimacy thing. But I can't help but
feel like I'm losing something. It took me a long
time to build my self sufficiency and independence. It's something
that I've guarded fiercely for the past five years, and
I feel like it's slipping away and less time than
it takes me to commit to buying a NU lawn chair.
He is nothing like the horrible X, But I don't
want to lose myself in a relationship ever again. Should
I just accept that this is going well and making

(50:08):
me happy?

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Or should I be freaking out?

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Why are you looking for problems where there are none.
Your relationship that you had with that other guy is over.
You're not repeating that same cycle. You've already learned your
from your mistakes. I can tell by your letter you're
in a good place. This is what we do as women.
We question any sort of happiness that just lands at
our feet and go, do I deserve this? Once the
other shoe gonna drop? Am I gonna lose myself?

Speaker 4 (50:32):
No?

Speaker 1 (50:32):
You're not, honey, You're fine, You're good. You have a
good thing going. You have a guy that lives across
the fucking hall from you. This is the best possible
case scenario. Just don't move in together and just keep
the fucking good way flowing.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
I love that.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Yeah, igathering a good time, enjoy yourself.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Guess what you deserve it.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
You deserve happiness, and you deserve to be in something
and a healthy relationship. And that's what you get after
being in bad relationships. We get gifted with the like
the gift of wisdom, and then we start having good,
healthy relationships.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
I just started a new relationship too. I'm totally into it.
I'm not questioning a thing about it.

Speaker 1 (51:08):
I'm like, this is this guy just dropped in my
lap and it's totally unexpected on every level.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
And I'm like, good for me, good for me. I
deserve it.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Got yeah right, Amelia, doesn't she deserve it?

Speaker 4 (51:22):
And you absolutely diserve it. A hundred. He deserve it,
So do you, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Und We all deserve it.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
We all deserve it. You should get up. You know
what's a good A good practice. I get up and
even when i'm if I'm in a great space, I
still do it. I get up and I just write down.
I have this little journal in my phone. It's like
a gratitude journal, and I just get up and say
thank you for this, thank you for this.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I'm grateful for these seven things.

Speaker 1 (51:47):
It could be your dog, it can be your health,
it can be whatever you're that you're gonna be on
this podcast today or whatever it is. Just remind yourself
that things are going well, and then that's good, and
then that becomes a pattern even when things are shitty.
If you can find five or six things to be
grateful for every morning, you're kind of reminding yourself that
you're on the right track. So just trust like that,

(52:08):
you know the universe has your back. Just trust that
because it's yeah true, No one's out to get you.

Speaker 2 (52:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:14):
The only other thing I'd say to add to it
is that if only to just calm your brain to
continue to do one or two of the things that
you did as a single woman for you that doesn't
include this beautiful man who's entered your life right so
that you're in a lovely relationship, but you're also able

(52:35):
to still go to the movies on your own, go
do your shopping on your own, take a day just
for yourself, be like, hey, babe, I no, I'm I know,
you know, I'm right next door. We could hang out,
but actually I just want to have a couple of
hours to read on my own or whatever it is
that you do and did love about being single, because
I think that it can be As someone who's been

(52:57):
single a bunch in my life, I think that it
can can be very hard to give it up because
it feels so like I got myself together, like this
is yeah, this is my space, my time, I get
to decide all of these wonderful things and so yeah,
when then when the guy does come, then you're like, WHOA,
hang on, this is you're messing with my ecosystem. But

(53:20):
I completely agree with Chelsea that like, enjoy. If you're
having a good time, and if you keep waking up
every morning wanting to see him and wanting to have
a good time and give him head delightful, then you know,
crack on, have a lovely time. But then give yourself
the hours or the days or the half or minutes
or whatever it is in your week that is just

(53:41):
doing something for you, and then that'll just calm whatever
worries you might have about like losing any sense of
self sufficiency that you have.

Speaker 3 (53:49):
And to add to that, don't forget about your girlfriends too,
So like whether that's like a standing date once a.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
Week or whatever with your girlfriends or like.

Speaker 4 (53:56):
Dates before dates.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Yes, yes, right, both of my mate, but.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Don't want me. Okay, then we're doing good in such
a beautiful position to stop this year this is I
think so too.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
It's a silly reason to call in.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
And it's good for our listeners to hear about that.
So I'm glad you called in. But you don't have
any problems anyway. So it was nice to meet you.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
Lovely to meet you, meet.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
You, Thank you, You're absolutely welcome.

Speaker 3 (54:28):
I think like being aware of it is half of
the battle, because so many people do lose themselves and
whatever relationship they're in, right, it's like the runaway Bride
thing of like she doesn't know how she likes her eggs,
she just likes them. However, whatever guy she's with at
the time, you know, likes that.

Speaker 4 (54:41):
I so thought I was the only person who quated
that a nauseum, But I'm so glad you do too.
I'm like, yeah, a lot of times I said that
in my life.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
That's exactly okay, everybody.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
You can watch Ponies, starring Amelia Clark and Haley lu Richardson.
You can watch Ponies on the Peacock Network Amelia Clark.
I'm so happy I got to talk to you. I
just love you so much. I think you're just such
a breath of fresh air.

Speaker 4 (55:08):
Thanks, thank you so much. It was so wonderful to me.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
You probably, yes, Pop, and I hope to see you
in person at some point and have a wonderful press tour.
Keep your chin up. Yes, I've started talking about yourself
for three days. I understand how annoying I could be.
So Yes, stay positive, Okay, take care, Okay, bye, guys.

Speaker 6 (55:31):
The word of the week is euphonious adjective pleasant in sound,
especially in speech, agreeable to the ear. Euphonious used in
a sentence. Euphemia is the most euphonious of Amelia's middle names.

Speaker 2 (55:50):
Euphonious.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin.
I'm in DC February thirteenth. February fourteenth Atlantic city which
I just added. Fifteenth is Norfolk, Virginia. February nineteenth, Madison, Wisconsin.
February twentieth is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February twenty first, Detroit, Michigan,
February twenty second, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada for those of

(56:14):
you who don't speak Canadia. March thirteenth, Cleveland, Ohio. March
fourteenth Columbus, Ohio. March fifteenth, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March
twentieth is Denver, Colorado. March twenty seventh, Portland, Maine. March
twenty eighth, Providence, Rhode Island. March twenty ninth, Springfield, Massachusetts.

(56:34):
April tenth is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater
in April eleventh. Indianapolis, Indiana. April twelfth Louisville, Kentucky. April
sixteenth is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April seventeenth is Mesa, Arizona.
April twenty third is Kansas City, Missouri. April twenty fourth
is Saint Louis, Missouri. April twenty fifth is Minneapolis, Minnesota.

(56:57):
April thirtieth Nashville, Tennessee. May first is Charlotte, North Carolina.
May second is Durham, North Carolina. May sixth I'm doing
Netflix as a joke festival.

Speaker 2 (57:06):
I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement.

Speaker 1 (57:09):
And May fifteenth Saratoga, California. May sixteenth, Monterey, California. May
seventeenth Modesto, California. And then June fourth Portchester, New York.
June fifth is Boston, mass And June twelfth is Portland, Oregon.
And then Seattle is June thirteenth, So suck on that, everybody.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Go to Chelseahandler dot com for tickets. Do you want
advice from Chelsea?

Speaker 3 (57:35):
Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea pot Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com