Mahjong is the New Pickleball with Kevin Kane

Kevin Kane (Law & Order SVU) stops by to discuss NOT having an affair with his now-wife, why he thinks we should bring back (a little) bullying, and why mahjong is the new pickleball.  Then: A tarot reader wants to go full-time.  An auntie wants to escape an escape-room birthday.  And a girlfriend is thrown when she learns her boyfriend slipped into her bestie’s DM’s first. 

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, guys, here are my dates for the Hind Mighty tour.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
In May, I'm coming to Saratoga Mountain Winery.

Speaker 1 (00:05):
That's in California. Saratoga, guys, I'll be.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
In Monterey, and I'll be in Modesto, and then on
the thirtieth of May, i will be in Vegas at
my residency. In June, i will be in Saratoga Springs,
New York, port Chester, New York. I'm coming to Boston
at the Wang Theater. I'll be in Portland, Oregon, Seattle,
and then Hyannas, Massachusetts, and then two shows in Nantucket.

(00:27):
In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair,
New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And September i will
be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly,
and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,

(00:47):
and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in San Francisco.
I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas Babies.
I'll be there, and then in December, I am closing
out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your
tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High and Mighty Tour.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Okay, Hi, Hi Catherine.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Hello, Hello.

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I don't know why I'm talking like that.

Speaker 4 (01:09):
I got to tell you congratulations for an amazing set
last night at the Roast.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
Oh that was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
It was a lot of fun at the Roast.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
You looked incredible, the boobs were booming like you just
like absolutely crushed it.

Speaker 3 (01:22):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
My favorite part about the Roast was that I was
so touched by the audience's protection of me.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
When anybody went in on.

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Me for being old or ugly or I don't think
they said ugly, but whatever they said, wore ugly or
old old. The audience wasn't getting it, wasn't into it,
and I liked. I was like, oh I had that
wasn't my audience. It was an audience and I had
never felt protected like that. And I was like, oh
I felt loved yeah, yeah, and I loved I just

(01:52):
loved it. I had the best time. I had the
best time preparing for it. I'll bet I had to
run around rehearse my sets. I had to get a
sprays hand, I felt like Nikki Glazer all week going
incredible getting I was like texting her, I'm like, I'm
pulling a total Nikki. I'm like I but I liked
the preparation that went into it and it was just awesome.

Speaker 5 (02:11):
So I had a great I didn't realize it was
at the forum like that.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
You I know it was. It was really fun, exciting, Wow,
thank you congrats. It was really really right.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
So in case you missed it, go check out the
roast of Kevin Hart on Netflix.

Speaker 5 (02:24):
Should we talk about our guest today? Yes, our guest
today is Kevin Kine.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh my gosh, you know him from Inside Amy Schumer
and Law and Order SVU. Please welcome Kevin Kine. Catherine's
obsessed with SVUS.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
I watch out. I's gonna give it to you good.

Speaker 5 (02:39):
My husband and I have been rewatching from the beginnings.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
I meant kind of like, who is it? How can
you rewatch from the beginning? Who is that? Kind of
time makes.

Speaker 5 (02:47):
A long time. We're in season nine, I think right now.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
But how many seasons of SVU are there?

Speaker 3 (02:52):
Well, I've been arrested on that show several times, so
you'll see me a bunch before you get to my role.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
Now you were a sit and then brought back as
a regular.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yes, but I was never a creep. So that's the
thing that let me.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Kill Thank goodness. Okay, Kevin, I just asked, Kevin, this
is my first time meeting you.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Nice to meet you. By the way, we've actually been
introduced a few times. But I do this thing with
somebody who I love and respect. I do you the
favor of never talking to you and wonderful because I
think I was around with you and Humor somewhere.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
I'm sure, because you and Humor are like writing partners.
I mean you've written lots of things together.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Well yeah, producing and yeah direct each other.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
And right right, so you guys have had a long relationship.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
And I know like a lot of comics that you know.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Okay, okay, great, great. Well, I was just saying to Kevin,
are you married or single? Because there's a problem with
white men single, straight white men right now. And I
was at a party and there was all these like
amazing women and they were all just saying the same thing,
like they're all single, they all can't meet somebody, and
I'm just like, I don't understand how this is possible.

(04:00):
And I understand, as like a strong independent woman, that
men are sometimes intimidated by successful women.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
I get that.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
I think it's silly, but it exists, unfortunately, and I'm
just wondering when were you going to get to a
time where that doesn't exist. So I did this like
dating app on my Instagram. I was like, you know what,
I'm going.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
To start actually asking straight men to reach out to
me and go through the possibilities or the prospects for
women and start setting people up myself.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
And I'm just going to take it on myself. I'm like,
I'll fucking handle this. I can get the job done.
And so I did kind of like an open casting call,
if you will, and I said, contact me if you're
really looking for a relationship, not just casual sex. You're
not on you know, you could be on the apps, whatever,
but just be honest about what you're after.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
And I have a lot of eligible women in my life.
I know a lot.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Amy's now eligible too, not that I would ever fucking
set her up with anyone, but I have a lot
of eligible, wonderful women, successful, smart, beautiful, all of the
things that you would want, And please reach out to
me if you're interested in meeting one of these women.
And I got about ninety percent of my dms were

(05:10):
from gay men looking to hook up, and so I'm like,
this isn't fucking grinder. Like I'm not worried about gay
men hooking up. It feels like that's happening in a
very healthy way, right, But the dearth of men straight
men that responded. It's not that I have any delusions
about the amount of straight men that are following my
Instagram account, but I do.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
I was. I just I couldn't.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
Believe, like, like none at all.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
No, a few, you know.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
A lot of older guys, which is fine. I'm working
on it, like we're gonna do this. I'm serious about
it because I really want to connect people. But there
were so many women like ex wives or daughters of
men that reached out on behalf of the men, not
the men reaching out directly. And then when I would
be like, oh, there's a guy in Philly, he's fifty five,
he's looking for someone between the ages of forty to fifty,

(05:58):
be pretty specific, like I have a big wide net
of casting. Be specific, and I'll help try to help you.
And then we found him, you know, We found three
options in Philadelphia to this straight guy. We sent him
three options and he doesn't respond to any of them.
And I finally we you know, I have my social
media team working on it, and they send it to
his ex wife. We're like, listen, we can't get a

(06:20):
response from him.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
Do you think you were just an additional app? You think,
like maybe they have they're on like three other apps
and they're just addicted to scrolling other iyeh, like a
lot going on.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Yeah, possibly, but like it's there's a lack of initiative
and there's a lack of you know, you like, there's
a lack of interest.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
It's almost like straight men. You know, I understand straight
man feel under attack.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
I get that, and I don't want just so I
just want to slap a straight man says that I
really do. I just that's the straight man syndrome comes
out like me, Like I just I want to get
aggressive and violent with with Like when I see Elon
Musk on a stage, just somebody just give him the
biggest wedgie possible, yeah, or just humiliate him and like

(07:06):
just like I think we went too far with the
anti bullieding thing and just them just so help.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
He's particularly disgusting. Yeah, so I'm not trying to help
those kinds of guns.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
I get it.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
I cannot because I have no interest in these fucking losers.

Speaker 3 (07:23):
But I don't you think people are gun shy.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't want to give up on straight men, is
what I want to I don't want to give up
on them. I believe that maybe there could be some potential.
You're a straight guy who recognizes it. So what do
you think the fucking problem is?

Speaker 3 (07:41):
I you know, I think people aren't putting themselves out
there in person, and and it's just become a habit.
You know, it's like it's uh and you're you're letting
people do kind of casual kind of connections and hookups
and things like that. That I just feel like people
are just gunshy, just gunshy from putting themselves out there.

(08:01):
But you know, I missed the whole app thing. I
missed the whole like I like you, Yeah, like I
missed it by a couple of years, thank god, because
who knows what the hell rabbit hole I.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
Throw down right right, right, right right.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
But I think it's really like a eye witness people
comparing themselves a lot. And I think the insecurity of
men is just that an all time height te you,
because that's all all in everybody's faces all the time.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I think that's a major component is that we've and
I understood, like I'm with Obviously, I'm with you and
probably way ahead of you with regard to men.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
And I don't want to hear about them bitching about
their attack.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
But I also have a feeling of like Catherine, like
I feel sympathetic to a certain degree, like wait, I
don't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
There are good men out there.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
There are I'm.

Speaker 5 (08:45):
Dating hashtag not all men, Chelsea?

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Is that a hashtag? I'll employ that I might be
dating app? They asked me this morning. My agents were like,
do you want to do a dating show? I go, no,
I don't want to do a fucking dating show.

Speaker 3 (08:56):
I just you do want to be like Instagram?

Speaker 1 (08:59):
I just matched my.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
I don't want I mean, I don't really want to
do it myself.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, I just want people to be happy.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
And I think part of the reason why men are
like feeling this way is because they have lost their
way and they don't understand how to interact with women,
and I want to kind of help re educate them,
like maybe there should be an emotional IQ test or
a social IQ test and see like what would you
do in this situation and then send them to like
a doggy camp for six weeks.

Speaker 3 (09:23):
That would be so they can train. Yeah, I know that.
I think everybody needs training right now, Like, I think
that's really the most important. Yeah, So that's how hard
of the process. That's how I think you should put
the training up front.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Well, I feel like if you're going to contact me,
you know that that's what's going to be required.

Speaker 1 (09:40):
Like it's not going to just be like you're in.
You're going to be like okay.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
And also there's going to be repercussions if you're an
asshole about it.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, if you're if you you know.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
So, basically they're aggregating like ten eligible bachelors. I'm going
to throw them up on my Instagram and let the
women have at it, yeah, and say, these guys are
looking for love, these guys are looking for a relationship.
You whoever wants them, wants them, because that's different than
putting up a bunch.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Of women and then having men, you know what I mean. Yeah,
for them. I don't think.

Speaker 3 (10:06):
I think like a lot of guys I know, like
are chasing their time, right They they think they don't
have enough money, yet they don't. They're not at the
spot where they're supposed to be to really put themselves
out there, and it becomes this kind of like kind
of arrested development in middle aged you know what I mean,
Like it's I'm getting clear of this, I'm just a

(10:27):
few steps away from this, and they're not ever. Like
you just kind of have to give them a kick,
and they asked to put themselves out there.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, that's an interesting point. That's a good point that
you raised. How did you meet your wife years and
years ago and years ago?

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Uh, you know, I haven't told this story publicly, but
she was making a film with her boyfriend at the time,
nice and they cast me as her husband in the film. Oh,
nothing happened after that, but they broke up, we became friends,
and then we we kind of hooked up a few
years later after that. But it sounds very sortid.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
It does sound sortid, and it sounds exactly like somebody
would what somebody would say if they did have an
affair on set while somebody was in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
If anybody knew me at the time.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
They would have believed that.

Speaker 3 (11:15):
Ye yeah for sure.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
But also I think once you get married and you're
married to that person, even if you did have an affair,
who gives a shit, Like you're married, so that's more
important than a relationship.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Yeah right, yeah, but I'm like this thick headed Irish asshole,
so like I could see myself just ten years because
just I want to prove you wrong, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (11:33):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, just getting married to be like
oh yeah, it's like Woody Allen and Sun Yee, Like
I believe they're still married because he's like, this.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Is not my daughter.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
We were meant to be together, and it's like, now
it's your fucking.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
Daughter and that's going to be his last breath. I
told you. Yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
So how did you and Amy Schumer start working together?

Speaker 3 (11:54):
We met in an acting program really yeah, with William
sper Studios.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
That tell me, I like it. I like you about
acting classes.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
Bill Aspert was like this famous acting teacher, Like we
got to work with people that he taught years ago,
like Jeff Goldbloom, and so he's been around since like
the sixties. It was like a two year program and
you sort of like reveal yourself to your classmates, like
you just kind of get broken down, like the Marine
Corps in the first year, it's in tears and everybody
breaks up from their relationship, and like you just set.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
A bond, so you do it for two years. You
have to commit to two years.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, it was a two years in their program.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
So yeah, that sounds intense. How old were you when
you did that?

Speaker 3 (12:33):
I was, you know what it was. It was like
my my my mother had just passed away. It was
in my twenties, and I was just like I was
living in LA with a girlfriend who was in one
of those pop bands, and I was just like, I
got to get out of here, right. I came back
to New York and I.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Did you break up with your girlfriend?

Speaker 6 (12:51):
No?

Speaker 3 (12:52):
Not well, yes, By the end of the two years,
they were right in their predictions, because it's a thing
where you like you're always have to be honest about
your impulses and what you're thinking and telling the truth
all the time all the time. Yeah, I mean like
on the stage, so you're you're always conscious like a process.
Stop lying yourself, stop protecting yourself and all that stuff,
and so it just happens. Everybody's just kind of in

(13:12):
their little protective womb, and people would end up breaking
up with whatever relationship they were in at the time.
Also because you're in your twenties and everybody's an idiot.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
Right right, right right. I've never heard of William Asper.

Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah, I like this.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
I mean, I'm interested. I like to hear about different techniques.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Yeah, he was like the I think he was like
one of the first teacher. Meisner trained as a teacher,
so it was like he started his own school. He'd
been there for a long time. It's still there. His
wife runs it.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
And do you apply all of that work?

Speaker 2 (13:39):
Is that the only kind of acting training that you've
done or have you done other acting trains?

Speaker 3 (13:43):
I did in college, which is kind of worthless, you know,
but this this is a very old school like kind
of methodology that you stick to. Yeah, and Amy and
I did it, and we applied it to sketch comedy,
we applied it to everything, and it was it's always
kind of worked for us. So it's been like a
little of our sleeves.

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah, And what was the first thing, you guys, what
was the first project that you guys worked on together, well,
we the.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
First thing we ever produced was our showcase for that
for that program. And then we would do we started
a theater company, and then we would have we would
do these plays and we would have the space for
a long time and on dark days and we were like, well,
let's raise the extra money and we would throw these
comedy shows because she was starting to do well in
stand up. She was like, she had just graduated from

(14:27):
doing those Bringer shows and she was starting to get
to know comics. And then the comedy show started to
blow up, and Amy got hired. I think, this is
this is what it's like working with Abe. She worn't.
She got hired by I don't want to say, one
of those beer one of those shitty beer companies Genesee

(14:47):
Ale or one of those like to do like a
the CEO's back wife's backyard party. She did the stand
up there, and the CEO had complained to her that
all the kids were drinking like paps blue rib and
and I don't want to whatever the company was. He's like, well,
my beer is just like that and all this stuff,
you know, And she said, well, you know, I have

(15:08):
the hottest show downtown, send us thirty five thirty packs
next week, and then Schumer runs into our next company meeting,
like I have thirty five thirty packs coming. We have
to come up with a show. And that's how we
started doing comedy show.

Speaker 1 (15:20):
It was chasing alcohol.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
Chasing alcohol. It was like twenty bucks all you can drink.
And then then we were able to get the good
comics in that she she knew. And then because of
the beer, because of the audience, the audience was young,
it was cool. It was like just broke young people
and they like the vibe. And then we were pretty smart.
We took all the hot girls esper studio and asked
them to be out front. So then we'd greet all
the male comics coming in and they're like, you got

(15:43):
to do the show, you know, to each other. Then
it started to graduate and we had this like huge
audience that end, so we were like, we should put
our actors in front of it. And that's when Amy
and my friend Brandon a couple of other people just
first started writing. We would open the play with like
we would we would open the show with a three
to four minute play. It was really a sketch but
we refuse to call it a sketch because we were artists. Yes,

(16:05):
but it was all comedy and it was just that's
how we just started doing everything on the fly.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
I love it. What a cute og story.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
And then she I think, you know what's funny is
I think when she did I don't know if she
ever told you this, but when she did the roasts,
the Charlie Sheen roast, and Comedy Central wanted a pilot
from her. I think basically they were hoping she was
going to try to rip off your show on Comedy Show.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
And she was like, I'm not doing that. I just
want to do what we're doing. So she pitched a
sketch show to them, which I think they were really
bummed about because they told her the show they wanted
her to pick.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
So they said we'll give you a pilot, and then
the pilot did.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Well inside it was sure right yeah yeah and so
and you're also friends with Rosebud and Yaminika.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Dominika is basically my current project.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
Really.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yes, she is on the road with me a lot.
We're going away this weekend. We have three shows this
weekend on the East Coast, and she is the hottest
mess around as I'm sure you well know.

Speaker 3 (17:03):
I know those are two other.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
Single comedians now, But Yaminika, what's your.

Speaker 3 (17:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
I was supposed to see her the other night, but
then she had dental work and she's like, I'm in
a lot of pain, and I was like, okay, well
I wanted to go home anyway, So that's perfect.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
But Yaminica I see all the time.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
So like Yaminika is like, a, we're actually producing her podcast.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
She's going to have a podcast on this platform.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
That's great, yeah, because she needs an outlet so she
can stop doing live instagrams twenty four times a day.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
Is she's still boxing, She's.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
Doing something physical, I'm not sure if it's boxing. She's
always trying to beseech me to work out with her,
but I won't.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Have no interest.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
I know how to work out, you know, I'm not
looking to get into boxing or throwing my back out.
But being on the road with her is especially challenging
because she'll like she doesn't understand where she is, or
I guess how to book a hotel room. The last
time we were together, she booked two hotel rooms in
the same city, but not in the city we were in.
So we three nights different cities and every night was off.

(18:03):
So she slept in my bed two nights.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
In a row. One night.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
I'm fine with, you know what I mean, sure in
case of an emergency, pretty much anyone can sleep with
me for a night. Yeah, two nights is like where
things start to get tricky. And tomorrow because.

Speaker 3 (18:16):
We're one more night.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
You're in a relationship, well right, And also with her,
it's like I don't like it's she's crazy. She sucks
her thumb, you know, like I woke up and just look,
I saw a giant baby in my bed.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah, and I was like, oh my god, am I mother?

Speaker 3 (18:29):
I hope not.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
But this weekend she's meeting me, you know, because of
the TSA shit, it's all yeah, yeah, right, so we've
got to really like be prepared. And so she's meeting
me at my hotel tomorrow. We're taking a very early
flight to get to Portland main and I was like,
I always have to lie to her and say it's
an hour, you know, earlier than it is.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
She showed disay, Yeah, I feel like that was you
probably were not like that when you were opening for somebody, right, never, No, No,
that's most people though, right, I guess.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
So I think it's a certain personality type.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
I mean, what do you think you're like, there's type
A personality, right, But then there's not like there's not
a type B.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
It's just everything else.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Well, Amy used to like kill two birds of one son,
like we should like come on the road and help
me out with the venues, and I would be in
charge of everybody, and then during the day we would
work on a script. You know, Wow, I was I
was like, you know, for a long time, my traveling
partner was Mark Norman because she was opening he was

(19:27):
opening for Amy. So it just seems like the most
comics are probably not type A.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
I guess what I need is like I need an
outline of what the other types of personalities are. Yeah,
it's like type A. And then what it's like when
they say third world country and first world country. There's
no second world country. That's not a thing, and there's
no fourth world. It's third world or first world Like
I don't yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
But there's there's like I feel like there's there's there's
Type A, which I don't think I am. I think
I'm more go with the flow, but you have to
recognize the flow. But then there's like the whole myster Magoo.

Speaker 1 (20:00):
I can tell you're not Type A already, yeah well right.

Speaker 3 (20:03):
Yeah, but but the whole mister Magoo, like you know
where you just you just have to save people from
stepping off a cliff every three seconds. Yeah. Yeah, that's
a type that is a big and they just find
out to circulate people around them that that take care
of them.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Ah right, that's right. That is a type. So I
feel like there's like a lot of Catherine.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
This is something a subject matter we should delve into further,
because I feel like there are a lot of other
types of personalities that haven't been clearly defined.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
I feel like the Internet is starting to say that this,
like the mister Magoo type is type B. It's like
your messy friend, your type B friend on vacation is
the one who, like you know, books the flight to
the wrong place and you have to save them at
the last minute. Like that's kind of what the Internet
is saying, is type B right now?

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Yeah, right, But I agree with you. I'm not Type A,
but I'm not that.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Right, Yeah, I don't think I'm Type A either. Am
I Type A?

Speaker 4 (20:53):
I don't think you're Type A, but you do like
things a certain way. But I wouldn't say you're like
anal retentive Type A.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
I'm fastidious. I don't think I very I like things
a certain way.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
I also am Type A when I need to be
Type A, and then I go off the fucking rails
when I don't you have your shits again there? Yeah,
Like I'm I'm very good about time management. I'm very
good about other people's times, and I just like I
want to get this shit done and in a time
efficient way. I don't like to like have a writer's
meeting for six hours.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
I like to have a writer's meeting for yeah and
a half hours.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
Every writer's meeting is mostly about ordering lunch.

Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 4 (21:27):
Well, it's like Fortune Themes start telling the story when
she came on the show about like you had your
first meeting with her. There were other people in the meeting,
and then like halfway through you knew it was a yes,
so you just got up and left the room, and
she figured that minute was.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
A no, Like that you weren't going to hire.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Her, right right? Yeah, I appreciate that. Yeah, it's just
so much. I appreciate it too. I think it's great.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Like I'm like what, I think the most irksome thing
about any personality type is just someone who has no
regard for other people's time.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Like that's kind of like what being late is. Even
though many people who are late, that's not the case.
They're just bad at their own time management and it
spills over into your time. But I really do think
the number one quality should have is to be considerate
of other people.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
Yeah, I mean that's you really kind of blow yourself
up otherwise, like you're gonna somebody's gonna try to take
you down. So you're from Philly originally. Yeah, in high school,
my father did the worst thing possible and he moved
me in high school to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yikes.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
Yeah. Yeah, And it was as bad as it sounds
a transition.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
I've been in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, but I never
went to high school in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

Speaker 3 (22:42):
It was like my cousin Vinnie with no comedy, you know.
It was like that, And it's just a lot of.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
Neon and were you the Vinnie.

Speaker 3 (22:50):
I don't know where I was. Yeah, I feel like
probably more, but it was uh yeah. And I feel
like slowly, like it's been a dragon trace chasing me.
Like I feel like the whole country's turned into Myrtle Beach,
South Carolina. It's like I hear country music in a

(23:10):
bodega in Brooklyn. It's it's not good for me. It's
like triggering.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Is South Carolina considered country?

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Well, they call the red.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
That's what I meant. I didn't mean country.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, the South, the redneck rivy era. So did you
have a girlfriend in high school that you left when
you went to Myrtle Beach.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
I mean we were just starting to make that happen,
you know what I mean, we were starting to get well.
I was trying to hit my stride. I come from
all these like my mother, her sisters, their daughters there,
and they're all like my mother's they're wives of gangsters
and like every they are people you don't mess with.

(23:50):
And the most important thing for me was to keep
it all a secret because they would just destroy you.
They would just blow you up anyway. So it was
it was very it was everything was on the d
d L for me.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
So it's like, so do you feel like a Philly
person though.

Speaker 3 (24:09):
Yeah, because I go back. I was going back at
the time. Every chance I get, I go. You know,
it's my that's who my family, extended family. Yeah, my
brothers moved back to South Philly and Myrtle Beach totally
does anyone you know? And we worked in like a bar.
My parents own a bar. It was like a Philly
known Philly bar and everybody it was like a Philly thing.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
So that's cool. And so do you still have family
in Myrtle Beach that you have to visit? No? Never,
that's good.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Yeah, I've been back there.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
And who's your team?

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh it's all a Philly Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
You don't cross over Jersey or New York teams.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
No, Phillies are right, I have to I basketball is
in the family. I'm the Philadelphia Big Five fan. Villanova
is a big thing. Most of the knicks are from
Villanova and Jalen Brunson is that right? Yeah? And Jalen
Brunson are is a huge SVU fan and his father
is too. And I watched his father play at Temple
at the Polestro. Oh yeah, so there's a there's a

(25:04):
bomb there.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
There's a lot of people from my high school that
went to Temple University.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
That was like a big school to go to from
New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
And then there's that part of New Jersey where it
meets Philly and everyone has the same accent where they panting.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
I'm going down to Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh, my kid
is obsessed with would I have some family down there? Okay.
I was baptized in Wildwood, New Jersey. Oh, because my
parents still wouldn't give I was born in July and
baptized there in August because they would not give up
one summer in wild Wood, New Jersey. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah. People are really really into the Jersey Shore.

Speaker 3 (25:38):
Yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
And there's so many different parts of the Jersey Shore.
And there are actually really nice parts of the Jersey Shore.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
Ye, I mean it.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
I mean some of them are not nice, but.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Like there's like bell Mar, There's there's some other places.
I did ever went to the Jersey Shore because I
grew up on the vineyard in the summertime Artha's Vineyards did.
My parents had a summerhouse there, so I would go there.
And then once I was like seventeen eighteen, all my
friends were going down to the Jersey Shore. I'm like,
I want to go to the Sure and my parents
are like, no, you don't.

Speaker 1 (26:02):
You have no idea.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
How lucky you are to be have a house of
Martha's Unior, And I was like, who gives a shit
about Marthin's mir I wanted to get late, you know.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, I was like, I want to go meet would have.

Speaker 3 (26:10):
Been like an episode of The Walking Dead for you
or something like that.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, totally, totally. So how did you start on SVU,
Like what was your first experience on that show?

Speaker 3 (26:21):
I was doing well. I'd been a guest star a
couple of times on the show, and the last time
I was a guest star, Marishka directed the episode and
I was like, it was like this big I had
a spin out. I thought a guy raped my wife.
I held him hostage in a bar.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
It was like a big thing that guest stars is
different characters each time, obviously, which is funny that they
bring back the same actor to play different roles.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, this was like three or four years later and
this role came up and I think she kind of
put her finger on the button for me.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
And she's awesome. She's hard to say, but she's Yeah.
I mean, she's unbelievable. The amount. I just can't believe
how many seasons, Catherine are you think it was twenty six?

Speaker 5 (26:57):
I think twenty seven.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
It's like I'm about.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
To shoot the last episode of twenty seven.

Speaker 1 (27:03):
That's a great gig to have.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
It's a great gig. Yeah, I you know, they they
I'm working with Ice Tea this week, and that's like
in of itself. A day to hang with him is
like the greatest thing anyone can do.

Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, tell tell me about Iced Tea. I don't know that.

Speaker 5 (27:18):
I also have to interject and ask, does Coco ever
visit him on set?

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Because it's still married those Wow, she's the best.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
Wow, what a successful Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (27:30):
Couple who.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
Show to ask you?

Speaker 3 (27:35):
I think she still does this Like I think she
she types his lines into the notes on his iPhone
form every day. They're like the best.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
One of the most successful Hollywood couples who would be
named Cocoa and Iced Tea. Tell us what it's like
working with Ice Tea.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
He's you know, it's like every like that must be fun.
The stories are gold because he's lived like nine lives
and just in this business, just on the show. Yeah,
just on the show. Yeah, and yeah, it's just he's
never I've never seen him in a bad mood.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Really.

Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, he's just the peace with the world and he's
just giving you hustling lessons all the time. You know.
It's just so uh. So I got it was fortunate
people liked our kind of and so we were together
a lot, and he he just kind of schooled me
on how to operate there.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
I mean, what have you learned from him?

Speaker 3 (28:21):
Well, you know, the first thing you do when you
look at a script is like see how many days off?
How many are outside in the winner? Uh and then
and usually usually the acting advice or or when you
discuss a scene in the moment, it's it's really the
single most important question is do you want to go home?

Speaker 1 (28:45):
I appreciate people who get to work and are only
interested in getting out of one. Yeah, yeah, you know,
like I like that.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
But I had this weird thing. We were doing Life
and Beth and like I was directing like Yamanika and.

Speaker 1 (28:55):
Russia's at great show by the way on Hulu everybody.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
And so I was playing like a and a crazy
character on that, and you know, I have these mornings
with someone like Cola Scolo doing a scene and then
I'd have the van and at night be with iced
tea and prostitutes like that was like be a full day.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
That's a full day. That is a full day more
than one way. I like it. Okay, we give advice
to people. Okay, do we have any straight callers today?
That would be nice to straight women?

Speaker 3 (29:27):
This would be my first time giving advice without any alcohol.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yes, yeah, exactly. We're totally unqualified for you. I'm sure
we do that.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
Speaking of drinks, our one drink question today is this
is about a straight man, but not from a straight man.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
Oh so nicky, says dear Chelsea.

Speaker 4 (29:45):
I guess my boyfriend of nine months and I are
both forty, and I'm convinced he doesn't brush his teeth.

Speaker 5 (29:52):
He has fine teeth.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
They're straight, not white, but not yellow, sometimes not always
stinky breath. Of the times I've stayed over in all
of the nine months, he's brushed his teeth maybe two
times that I've seen. I've been in his bathroom enough
to know he hasn't changed his brush once since in
the time we've been dating and it's frayed and gross.
His toothpaste is dried out with no cap on it.
I couldn't get any toothpaste out of the tube when

(30:13):
I tried to use it. How do you kindly help
someone with this? I truly don't want to lose him
over something so petty. He's the kindest, gentlest, nicest man
I've ever met, and I do love him. I'm having
trouble not being so icked out. Help Nikki.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
It's first of all, it's this is disgusting. It's not
acceptable behavior at all. And you're having trouble like you
should have been having trouble with this from the rip,
like right as Cowboy would say, right off the rip.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
This is is nine months in.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
This is It's unbelievable that you've been able to control
yourself for this long.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
I have a serious situation about oral hygiene. I brush
my teeth.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes
and brush my teeth if I don't like the taste
in my mouth. I have a tongue scraper, toothbrush, and
dental floss. I floss probably three times. I know everybody
doesn't do that, but no, I don't have that, but
I have a tongue scraper.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Because my dentist told me about it.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
I was like, I want all the tools that are
available to me having a clean, fresh breath and a
clean mouth, because that is very important. He needs an
education in dental hygiene.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
You have to get him crust white stripes first of all,
and you have to and you have to you have
to literally sit down with him.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
I don't know if there's a soft way to say this,
and I really frankly don't give a ship because he's
already crossed like the rubicon in my eyes.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
You have to sit.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Down with him and say, these are the things that
are necessary. I really care about you, and your hygiene
is an ick, Like you have to be brushing your
teeth three times a day in the morning, when you
get home from work and before you go to bed.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Those are the new rules. Yeah, and there's no easement
into this.

Speaker 3 (31:45):
This is this is this is like a sledgehammer situation
like this is not. This is not I can think
of so many deeper things that you would think on
paper that you could soft pedal around.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
And this is really quite amazing that someone could go
through nine months without saying anything. I mean something might
be wrong with you. Also for you to be tolerant
of this.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
Even go brush our teeth right now before you go
to bed, Like, let's go brush our teeth together.

Speaker 2 (32:10):
And I've also been through this with guys, Like I've
had guys in bed who want to wake up and
fool around, and I'm like, no, no, you, I get
up and I brush my teeth. If that's not a
big enough queue for them, I tell them, do not
come near me in.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
The morning until you have brushed your teeth.

Speaker 2 (32:27):
It's just the way it is. I don't have time
for that. Like, you know, I'm a hot pie's of
property in my mind.

Speaker 3 (32:32):
My my wife's the same way.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
She's very Yeah, and dental and flossing is very important too.
It's also important for like long term oral hygiene, like
medically speaking, so all of these things. Don't feel guilty
about telling a man he's just he's like uneducated and
he just needs to be told.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
What I mean, Like, if this is what you've discovered
in nine months, you may be missing a lot.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
Yeah, Like what else is he not doing? I knew
a guy wants not when I date it. That said,
the only time my hands get washed is in the shower, Like,
what else is he not doing that?

Speaker 5 (33:03):
You're just not picking up on.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
My on my way, on my way here. I took
the subway and I had lines to help you brush
your teeth. After that, I used hand sanitized everything. But
I the second I went down the staircase, I put
my hand on the railing and my wife just screamed railing.
So I can't imagine getting away with this for nine months.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
No, this is no.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
No, I can't let imagine tolerating it for nine months. Women,
you need to speak up early and QUI, okay, those
are the rules early, quick, because I think men are
pretty trainable, especially when they're into you.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
You know they they are.

Speaker 3 (33:42):
Yeah, and it's just even to make their life more peaceful.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Yeah, yeah, So you can do it in a nice,
caring way and be gentle about it. Obviously you care
about this person, but you need to address it immediately,
and you need to make it a three pronged effort.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
The tongue scraper, the toothbrush, brushing your tooth.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Actually, you know what, if he's not even brushing his teeth,
ye start with the brushing those.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
Let's get up to like twice a day.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
Twice a day.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
But if you give him three times a day, then
maybe he can start with once or twice a day,
do you know what I mean? Maybe make the expectations
high so that he can meet you somewhere in the middle,
and then also talk about make it so overwhelming that
he has to cooperate in some way immediately.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
All right, Well, our next question comes from Simone and
she's calling in my.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Sister, Simone, it is it is.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
You guess correctly, so she says, I quit my stable
teacher job to become a tarot reader, but my husband
isn't on board. So Simone says, Dear Chelsea, I recently
quit my job because I couldn't take the super toxic environment.
And well, my passion's lie elsewhere. I'm a mama of
two two years and six, and I'm a tarot reader
and astrologer. For the past eight years, I've been trying

(34:46):
to build a successful business, and sometimes I feel like
my husband is holding me back. He's always been really
supportive about my business, but he's the kind who likes
to know how much money we're going to have each month.
And even though he always says I totally support you,
he is always encouraging me to get backup job. I
know he means well, and I wouldn't want my kids
to go without anything they need, But I feel like
I haven't ever been able to become successful because he

(35:07):
just doesn't really think I can make enough money from
my business. Of course, it's not only his fault. I
have my own insecurities that hold me back. What should
I say or do to make it clear? I hate
corporate jobs and don't want to go back to one,
and that my Terot business is my main priority.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
Simone, Hi, Simone, Hi, Hey, Hi, this is our special guest,
Kevin Kane is here with us today.

Speaker 3 (35:27):
Hi.

Speaker 7 (35:27):
Hi, Kevin.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Okay, so well, first of all, you said something in
that like the seconds the last sentence, which was what's
holding you back is your husband's disbelief in you or not,
you know, not believing in you. That's a cracker shit like,
that's not what's holding you back. And you can't let
your husband's non belief in what you're doing hold you back.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
If this is important to you, do you make any
money from doing this?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (35:49):
I make a couple hundred each month.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
Okay, that doesn't sound like enough, is it? No, it's
not enough. Okay. How much would you need to make
a month for this be successful? Probably a couple thousand, okay?

Speaker 2 (36:03):
And do you think that you can build your business
up to making a couple of times? Because listen, I'm
into all that kind of shit. Are you into tarot
parts or something like that? Most straight men are not
into that, you know. Okay, So I understand why you're.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
She reads them?

Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yeah, oh she does.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
She's a tarot card reader like this girl. Okay, great,
great work, Catherine, great work. And does your wife do
it professionally or just no.

Speaker 3 (36:25):
She's an actress, but that she does it for friends
and family, and that's cool.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
So I don't know how you like what building a
business like that looks like. Do you feel like I
feel like, first of all, you're lacking belief in yourself,
Like if you're going to do this and go full throttle,
I think you need to give yourself like a time
frame in order to meet your financial goals and say like, Okay,
I'm going to give myself six months and if I'm

(36:51):
not making two or three thousand, like you tell your
husband to shut up about his feedback, you're not interested
You're going to take six months if you can afford
to do that, and see if you can make a
business out of this where you do make a couple
of thousand dollars a month and where you're making a
real contribution.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
Doesn't that kind of sound reasonable?

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Yeah? I you know, we were talking about William Esper
and he used to do an exercise with us, okay,
and it would make you visualize doing something else other
than acting for a living. And he would ask, like
to be very specific, how much can you make and
what would you buy with that money? And where would
you live and what would you do and all that stuff,
And anyone who had a very clear answer he would

(37:30):
invite to the door and says, this business is going
to make you quit. You're going to quit anyway. So
if you already see yourself not doing this, that's what
life's going to bring to you. So I would just
say to yourself, like, like, do you want it? That about?
Is that? Is this the most? Is this your passion?
This is If it's something you can't quit, then it's
then it's really not something. Then we're not even talking

(37:53):
about that. So it's just really just about focusing on
I'll do anything to make this happen. You know, So
it seems like you're making what a couple hundred bucks
a month, You're not doing taro all the time right now?

Speaker 6 (38:04):
Right Well, I am putting in full time hours into
my business. The issue comes in that, like I have
a hard time asking people for money.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
Yeah, but I have so many people.

Speaker 6 (38:18):
Like clients, and I do a ton of ratings for free,
and well, I think that's where my issue is.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
And I think I.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Think that's where your issue is too. You can't do
it free. If you want to make a living, you.

Speaker 5 (38:30):
Need to pick up the book.

Speaker 4 (38:31):
You are a bad asset making money, and it's gonna
outline for you how you have those conversations with people,
especially people you've not been charging that you need to
start charging, because when you're doing something like taro or
let's say massage or reiki or something like that, there
is an exchange of energy there and in order to
be giving out.

Speaker 5 (38:49):
You need to be getting something back.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
And if you want to make this your business, then
you have to treat it like a business. That's a
good way to get your husband to take it seriously
as well.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Yeah, well, said Catherine, I can.

Speaker 3 (38:59):
Give you, if you're if you know that this is
this is you, this is who you are. It's almost
like that exercise I was talking about. He was just
really trying to identify the psychos and that will never
do anything else. You know, then that's not really a question.
So you can kind of give yourself a break, yeah,
and let yourself figure it out. And if you don't

(39:21):
have it figured out today, it doesn't mean you're never
going to figure it out.

Speaker 4 (39:23):
Get on TikTok because I see people coming through my
feed all the time that are doing taro, that are
doing like all kinds of different stuff like that, they're
doing lives, They're getting new clients from that. So like,
I think that's like a good place to be spending
some time and be consistent, like every single day post
a little bit of something.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
There's a couple of issues you seem like what you
said is you're having trouble charging people. Hey, you have
to send out like a like a wide email to
all of the people that you've serviced and say, hey,
I just wanted to let everyone know I'm starting this.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
I'm starting to do taro as a business. I've quit
my job.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
You know, whoever knows already. It doesn't matter. You're just
making an official B business email. Consider this your first
order of operations. Okay, you're sending out a mass email
saying I've enjoyed my time with all of you so much.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
You know you can blind.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Copy everybody, so not everybody's on the email obviously, and say,
but due to popular demand, this is really taking off
and I have to start charging.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
So I'm going to give all of my existing clients a.

Speaker 2 (40:21):
Special rate that they all have access to so they
feel like, Okay, I might have to start paying, but
at least I'm getting a discounted rate from your new
clients and your new clientele, and just put that all
in writing. And the people who don't want to come
back because they have to pay, great, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (40:38):
You don't have time for that shit anyway. But you
have to get like some balls for this.

Speaker 2 (40:42):
If you want to be a business woman, you need
to act like a businesswoman. You need to buy the
book that Catherine mentioned. And once your husband sees that
this is operating like a business, guess what, he's going
to be fucking supportive when you're earning money.

Speaker 6 (40:53):
Yeah, yeah, you're so right.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
Are you ready? To do this. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yes, formulate that email and send us a copy. I
want to make sure I get a copy of that.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Okay, okay, and.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
Send me your race. Get I'll send out some referrals.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
Thank you, perfect, perfect, Okay, thank you.

Speaker 5 (41:10):
Oh my gosh, you guys are so kind.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
Thank you. Okay, bye some mom, good luck with your
business and act like a business woman.

Speaker 7 (41:18):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (41:18):
Okay, so Claire says Dear Chelsea. My husband and I
are child free by choice and have been together for
over ten years. We have several nieces and nephews on
both sides. One of these nephews from my sister in law,
is turning eighteen next month. He is proclaimed to not
want to do anything special to celebrate, but his helicopter
mom has planned something regardless. My husband and I are,

(41:39):
of course, being roped into these plans. The first part
consists of an escape room shoot me on a weekend
and will cost one hundred dollars each for my husband
and I to join. The second part consists of a
birthday dinner out to a restaurant that I don't particularly
care for. The problem is it's on a completely separate
day than the escape room and during the week. My
sister in law insists on doing this dinner out on

(42:00):
a fucking Monday because that's the day of his actual birthday.
So now I'm paying two hundred dollars plus and we
haven't even factored in his gift yet to celebrate a
teenager who could give two shits about all the celebrating
on his behalf. My husband thinks him crazy and that
I hate his family, but I think this is ridiculous.
The last thing I want to do after working all
day is fight traffic to a shitty restaurant when my
own food and my three fur babies are at home

(42:22):
waiting for me. Furthermore, I love my niece and nephews,
but don't want to spend that much money on a
child that isn't mine for a fucking birthday.

Speaker 5 (42:28):
One of my dogs, sure, but a.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
Kid, no thanks. Why are all these kids so fucking
spoiled nowadays? Am I being selfish and a horrible aunt
who should shut up and just go along with it?
Or should I tell my husband I'm skipping the dinner
and to hell with it?

Speaker 1 (42:41):
Claire?

Speaker 7 (42:42):
Hi, Hi, Claire, Hi, nice to meet you. Thanks for
having me.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
I don't think you're being selfish. I think you need
to create some boundaries. It sounds fucking stupid. You should
pick one thing just to be like a good sport.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
You should. I had this conversation with one of my
friends yesterday.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
He's like, I just told my partner I'm not coming
to any more family events because his partner's mom treated
him like garbage, and his whole family treated him like garbage.
So he had more of an excuse. But he did
create a boundary and it's not an issue anymore. It's
become a non issue. But when you are in a partnership,
you're married, it's a little bit different. These two would
just live together, they're not married. I would say that
you should probably go to one of the events, whichever
one you hate the least. For me, an escape room

(43:20):
sounds like an absolute fucking nightmare. So I would choose
the dinner, even though it's on a Monday, because that
is his birthday. So then you were there for his
birthday celebration. That's kind of all you and you can
be very honest. I'm not going to an escape room
because I'm an adult. I'm not interested in this at all,
and I'm only available to celebrate his birthday on his birthday,

(43:43):
so I'll be at the dinner happily.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
That's it. That's it. That's all you have to say.
And you tell that to your husband, I'm not doing that.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
You can go, but there's no requirement that I have
to go to an escape room for my eighteen year
old nephew's birthday, who's not even interested in having a birthday.
Leave the money out of it. Don't even mention, right,
just make it about your priorities.

Speaker 1 (44:03):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (44:03):
It's also I just think it's like.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Weird to have the escape room be a family thing.
That's like the thing you send him and his friends
to do. Yeah, you know, like that's a teenager thing totally.

Speaker 8 (44:12):
And for a further context, we've gone and done this
before together too. This isn't our first family escape room before,
so I was kind of surprised to hear that on
the docket.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
And how did that go? How did the other ones go?

Speaker 8 (44:25):
Oh, this was like several years ago, and it was fine, Like,
you know, I think that was the first time I'd
ever done it, So I was like, sure, I'm down
for it, why not? And it was fine. It wasn't
anything that I want to repeat, but like for the
one time, like that was totally fine.

Speaker 3 (44:39):
Is he going to college?

Speaker 5 (44:40):
He wants to go.

Speaker 7 (44:41):
Into some kind of trade probably yeah, so.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
Yeah, yes, well I think just tell yourself just in
your mind, this is a farewell dinner because he's going
to be done with all you people after this. He's
not he's not coming home.

Speaker 7 (44:52):
Sure, yeah, that's but right.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
One thing you could also do is like, if you
really aren't down to go to either one of these,
you could be like, you know what, we want to
do our own thing to celebrate him, and like take
him out to dinner somewhere where you actually like, or
go do something fin and like that's his gift, Like
it's an activity that you guys would like to do together.

Speaker 5 (45:11):
That could be an alternate plan.

Speaker 7 (45:12):
Or something even that he is interested sounds annoying.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
But also the other thing is listen, the fact that
you had already experienced in this escape room is perfect.

Speaker 1 (45:25):
You've done that.

Speaker 2 (45:26):
You don't like it, you don't want to be in
that situation. You don't have to go, like the dinner
is fine, just do that, and this is.

Speaker 1 (45:32):
Your farewell thing. This is his eighteenth birthday.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
Be a good team player, but that's the extent of it,
and be very firm about that with your husband and
with your sister in.

Speaker 8 (45:41):
Law for sure, because yeah, both is not going to happen.
Got it, got it?

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Yes? Thank you.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
How many eighteen year olds are going to escape rooms?
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
I feel like escape rooms are making a comeback because
I've heard that a couple times now, Like.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
It's a very seventeen eighteen year old. How old is
your kid? Eight eight?

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Okay, so yours is a little young for that, I think.
But like adults, weird adults. I don't like when adults like.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Shit like this, you know what I mean. I don't
like that kind of stuff. There's also like, like.

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Paintballing is the thing that comes before an escape room
that age bracket is paintballing, Like fourteen to sixteen or
thirteen to sixteen is paintballing. Sometimes even younger I also
in a very annoying activity.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
I'm not interested.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
And then there's the adult version of all of these things,
which is pickleball is and Majong Now is Majong is
the new hole?

Speaker 3 (46:29):
Really?

Speaker 2 (46:30):
Yeah, Majong is the new pickaball. Okay, everyone's talking about Majong.
I've had like three women in my life that are
in their thirties asked me to come to play Majong,
and I've had to block them, all three of them
from contacting me again. I mean, the idea that people
don't know how I feel about those things when I'm
so out there about my opinions and feelings, makes me

(46:52):
feel like you're not listening.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
No, or they're just trying to insult you.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Rile me up, possibly or insult me.

Speaker 4 (47:04):
Our last email here comes from Jane and she says
you're Chelsea. In September, my friend's at a birthday party
and I met my now current boyfriend. It had been
two years since I'd had any romantic interest in anyone,
and I left the party feeling surprised.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
That I had a crush. Oh, it's always surprising.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Yeah, my friend who hosted the party knew I was
into him from the jump and confirmed he had also
asked about me.

Speaker 5 (47:27):
It felt like kismet. However, I was not going to chase.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
Any man, so I waited and he finally reached out
via Instagram. We're dating now and he's everything I'm looking
for when it comes to intelligence career. The way he
respects women, asks for consent, even our first kiss. I'd
like to kiss you if that's okay. It was so sweet, Chelsea.
How do you feel about that?

Speaker 1 (47:46):
Yeah? I like, yeah, you do? Yeah? What you had
with that?

Speaker 4 (47:50):
I feel like you've said before, like, ick, don't ask me,
just do it?

Speaker 2 (47:53):
No, no, no, no, no no. I think it's important.
I think, especially in the time we're living in tap.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Out because I work on this view, I can't make
any conceptions.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
I think it's cute to say, can I kiss you? Oh?

Speaker 4 (48:07):
Okay, great, great, So she continues and says, So. I
found out recently he had hit up my other good
friend from the party before any contact with me. At
the time, I shrugged it off and was excited to
hear from him. When he did finally reach out. I
assumed his messaging with this other friend was neutral and
he's just a kind guy.

Speaker 5 (48:25):
Well ask you me.

Speaker 4 (48:27):
On Valentine's Day, my dumb ass decided to bring it
up for clarification. He said he was interested in her
and had DMed her first, but she didn't respond. They're
a good match on paper, the same age. I'm seven
years older and they have similar interests. Now I can't
stop thinking about him checking out both our social medias
after meeting us and going for her first.

Speaker 5 (48:46):
I've been divorced.

Speaker 4 (48:47):
I'm a cozy homebody but still love socializing, and I
was totally fine being a celibate pet owner for the
rest of my life.

Speaker 5 (48:54):
But it just feels icky.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
I know nobody did anything wrong, everyone was single and transparent,
but I don't if I can handle knowing he tried
for my younger, cooler friend first, even though it isn't
that sloppy?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Am I okay?

Speaker 5 (49:06):
Being second?

Speaker 1 (49:07):
Jane? What do you think about that? Kevin?

Speaker 3 (49:10):
I would have to know, like, what's the connection? Like,
now does it? How much does it matter?

Speaker 2 (49:15):
I also don't think missed opportunities are worth being like
upset over or like the fact that he reached out
to that girl. Nothing happened there, so it doesn't matter.
Like what happened was that you guys connected and you're dating. Yeah,
to focus on that, Like, I just don't think it's
worthwhile to constantly or to be looking in the rear.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
View mirror about what ifs. Yeah, it didn't happen, so
he was interested.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
He's now with you if you want to reassure that
you have a commitment with him or whatever, that he's
he's not actively pursuing other people or this woman, or
if she were interested in did DM in back?

Speaker 1 (49:49):
Would he be interested in seeing her? Like?

Speaker 2 (49:51):
If that's all in the past, then you're fine. Like,
but I also just think it's really like a waste
of all of our time to constantly be saying, well,
you know he didn't like me more first, who gives
a shit?

Speaker 1 (50:02):
You're together now and you like each other. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:07):
And also women get women can become obsessed with this
kind of stuff, and I feel like it's a very
bad use of our time. Like if somebody's not with like,
you can't control the outcome of things.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
And if somebody's not with you, uh, Like.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
I dated a guy who we met at this thing
and he ended up hooking up with one of the
girls where we met after he and I had met,
but wasn't serious, and.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Then we started seeing each other and became more serious.
I didn't care. I was just like, yeah, whatever, Like you're.

Speaker 5 (50:36):
A little different about that stuff though, child.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
But I think that's the right attitude, because what are
you going to do You're not going to control somebody anyway.
So as long as you get a good temperature on
whether this person is honest and like forthcoming, and you
can say, okay, we're in something now, right, We're solid?

Speaker 1 (50:52):
Are you looking? Are you actively seeking other people? Like,
just let me know, no judgment.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
I'll just make my own decision based on the truth
of the situation. I mean, men sometimes have a hard
time being truthful. But but they're also like, he already
was truthful that he reached out to her when she
asked him.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
But I feel like men could just be just stood
up dumb in the opening situation. This is right, so
they maybe if some obvious flair went off in one direction,
you know, the attension was there and was letting something
else developed. I think guys don't definitely don't get it
right off the bat. They have to process a lot longer.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
Yeah, I think that's a great point, Kevin. Actually, men
are fucking stupid, you.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Know what I mean. And you have to remember this
all the time because no matter.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
How great someone is in the beginning, we all we
always find and this goes for men and women. You
do find out that everybody's kind of like a human being.
And then and men in particular, straight men in particular
don't really know their way around situations like this, and
they kind of act impulsively sometimes, just the way women
can do. But men, for some reason, it just seems
a little bit less sensitive. It can come across as

(51:56):
as like insensitive. Yes, yeah, yeah, And so you kind
of have to give them a little bit of of latitude.
Not too much latitude, don't get me wrong, like you
have to call people out on their ship. But like
he was honest about dming her and that he didn't
hear back from her. That's the there you go. That's
somebody telling you the truth. So that's what I would
say to that.

Speaker 5 (52:15):
All right, Well that's a luke up for today.

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Okay, Well, Kevin, this has been great. I'm very happy
to meet you.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
It seemed like a really.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Fun, normal, normal, normal man. I appreciate you being on here.
Do you want to promote anything besides sbu.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yeah, we're rounding into the end of the season.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
You can watch tonight on NBC, or you can watch
tomorrow on Peacock Peacock, and you can also see Kevin
and all of his other work. He was on Inside,
Amy Schumer, Blue Bloods, The Irishman and Snatched and.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
Law and Order. So there you go.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
Just go off and have a Kevin kill see me with.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Oh yeah yeah, of course Life and Beth. That's on Hulu. Everybody,
Thank you, Kevin, Thank you.

Speaker 4 (52:57):
If you want advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea
podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production
of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler
and find Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea
is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law.
Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and

(53:18):
get tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com