Vicky Christina Madelyn Cline

Madelyn Cline joins Chelsea to discuss the final season of her hit show Outer Banks, the perils of layering sunblock and deet, and the benefits of dating a finance guy. Then: A listener may need to be a little meaner when turning down dates.  A husband’s Youtube fave triggers his wife’s ED.   And a 27-year-old with teenage daughters wonders when she gets to have a life.  

*

Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

*

Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

*

*

*

The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall notact or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank,
New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And
September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,

(00:21):
Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
and Mighty Tour. Hello Catherine, Hi, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Are you fluent in Spanish yet?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
I am doing pretty well. I mean, my driver in
New York's named Rafa and he speaks Spanish and he
cannot believe how much I've improved in two weeks.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
Oh fantastic.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, he didn't know I went to school in Spain,
so I told him in Spanish and he was like,
and then he started and then He's like, oh my god,
I'm not gonna be able to correct you anymore. And
I'm like, oh, don't worry, You'll find a fucking way
and then of course within it. But yeah, he was
really impressed. And also a couple of people I work
with where I was talking Spanish with, so I definitely
understand a lot more and I know a lot more.

(01:18):
I'm not fluent, but I am definitely way better than
I was when I out there. So that's exciting.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I notice you've been improving with your like low and
lot like the I think it's the possessive stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
I mean, you're crushing it.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I just I loved my time alone. It felt like
I was a mother away from her children, even though
I don't have children. I just walked to school every
day by myself with my little rucksack. And then I mean,
I don't have a rucksack, but I just wanted to
throw that out there. And then I already had like
a group of doctors. By day three, I was getting
a massage and then I was like, oh, I need

(01:51):
to get this kind of dry needling they had this.
Madrid is such a beautiful city. So many of my
friends were coming through Madrid unbeknownst to me, so that
was a surprise. I'd go to school for three hours,
my teacher only, my professora only spoke Spanish, and then
after that I would take myself to some ridiculously delightful lunch,

(02:12):
have like two glasses of wine, and then I'd walk
through the streets of Madrid. It was heaven on earth.

Speaker 3 (02:19):
How lovely You're just like, fill your life with whimsy's.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
I just loved it. I just was so happy. Everyone
at the hotel was like they kept testing me on
my Spanish day three, day four, and I was like
Eloise at the plaza. I just was like, I was
just so happy. I love I just belong in a hotel.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
Aha.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
I agree with that. How did your blind date go?
By the way, did that materialize?

Speaker 1 (02:43):
I don't think I went on a blind date.

Speaker 5 (02:44):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
I was set up with people like friends, not like
in a romantic matter.

Speaker 5 (02:49):
No.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I didn't even think about men. Honestly. There was one
guy that was trying to hit on me once. I
was in the bar at my restaurant and I was like,
is this guy hitting and he was. I mean, he's
to have been twenty years old and he was like seriously
trying to stray, and I was like, I was like,
at one point I wanted to go. I meant to say,
like not signor but whatever the other word for it

(03:11):
is in Spanish, but I couldn't think of what it was.
I was about to call him like boy, and then
I'm like, don't call him boy. That's not right either.
But I wanted to be like, I could be your mother.
Get away from me. I'm not interested in that. I
like young boys, I mean not, I like young men.
I don't. I don't like young boys, you know what
I mean? Like, it's got to be something like in
the appropriate ag urge. Not interested anyway. I'm home now,

(03:34):
I'm in New York City and we have a great
episode today. You know this actress, she was adorable from
Glass Onions, Stranger Things, and her hit series which is
now in its final season, Outer Banks. Please welcome Madeline Kleine.
Oh my god, we have Madeline Klein here today. Hi, Cutie, ptuity,
fresh and fruity. What were you talking about? You're talking

(03:56):
about snowboarding?

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah so, I so we were talking about how wake
poarding makes you feel like you can absolutely snowboard because
it's kind of the same thing.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yes, I understand this. Yes, I had a very easy
time wagsurfing the very first time I did it. I
think I got up on the first time I did too.
Have you been water skiing? No, okay, that's much more hard.
That's much more.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
Difficult, especially when they do it on like the one ski.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Yeah, I can't do that.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
I can't water ski period. And I can snow ski
really well, but I can't water ski.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I just know I would wipe out and like break
every bone in my face.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
It feels like if one of your legs goes in
the wrong direction, all your dog breaks. Oh you're great,
and it does, it does. It's not pretty where you
wipe out.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
No, So I went snowbarning for my birthday in twenty
twenty one, I think.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
And I like the way you said twenty one twenty one.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
It's Christian. I'm trying to enunciate more because a lot
of times I just so, I've been on I've been
on like red carpet interviews, and I go back and
I rewatch it and I'm like, I sound so drunk,
and then I'll like, look at the comments and they're like, oh,
our girls gone, and I'm like, I really wasn't maybe
had a glass or two before that gone.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Sometimes I'll record a stand up set that I'm doing
and I always have a drink before I go on stage, obviously,
and I yeah, of course, and I then I look
and then I'll watch it and think and like I'll
be like, oh, clip that for socials to my social team,
and then they'll send it to me and I'm like,
oh my, I'm like, look for this area when I'm
talking about this, and I'm like, my god. But there's

(05:33):
just like an as soon as yeah, because if I
don't have a drink, I talk too fast, I talk
like this, I have to take it down.

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yeah, if I don't, if I don't have a drink
or beta blocker bone.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Right or beta blacker, I take beta blackers as well.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
I get so scared and so anxious and I'm like
and then I'm like what I'm saying is so stupid.
And then I just to.

Speaker 3 (05:56):
Be fair, some of those questions are stupid.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Like.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Who are you wearing? That's the stupid question.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
I know. I hate that.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
It's like why do also have to talk about that?

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Who cares.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I mean, well, I mean some people, the designer does care,
so that's for their but like sometimes it's just not
I don't know, it doesn't always feel like an appropriate question.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
No, because it's like the designer obviously does care, but
like for the majority of the people watching, I don't
think it's really like the most.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
Most important thing. And also when we post it, you
give credit to who you're wearing. Anyway, it's just a
silly conversation to have.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
I agree, it's like also a really weird opener.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
And then you're away. It's my wedding, obviously I'm wearing
You're away. I've been married multiple times, oh my god,
yeah seven seven. I've never been married. Oh and I
will never be married.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I think that's chic. I know.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
I think it would be cute to get engaged, yeah,
and just stay engaged and keep having engagement parties.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
I'm just like, just give me the fucking ring.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
But do you need the ring from some man? I mean,
can't you buy your own ring?

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, but I don't really feel like paying for it.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
If he will, right, okay, I copy you know what
I mean.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
Then I can go some of my money like another ring.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
You've never been married. You're too young to be married.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
I've never been old for you.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Twenty eight, twenty eight, okay, that's not too young.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
To the other day, so well, someone asked me my age,
and I was like, twenty six or twenty seven. Wait,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
Did you forget or you just oh, you did.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Genuinely forgot, And I'm not even I'm neither twenty six
nor my twenty seven. I'm actually twenty eighty eight. But
I actually forgot, and I had to go and do
the math because I just did you.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Do the math? You went and I came. You went
back to the you were born and counted back.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Seven eight and I went one hundred. I just genuinely
stopped caring. I think about which birthday it was after
twenty five, twenty fifth.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, well you'll care again at thirty, and then thirty
five and then forty.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
I'm excited about thirty.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
It's gonna get better and better and better, so you
have nothing to worry about. Life gets better as a woman.
The more experience you have being a woman, the better
it gets.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Like the closer I get to thirty is I can
feel my court is all dropping. It's awesome. I'm like, okay, great,
I'm getting less stressed.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
That's a good I'm mad for something.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Making it for a day to block. I really I
really need to, Like I need to invent something. I
need to invent a brand. Maybe I can do something.
Maybe that's my ad.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's a good tagline for whatever your ad is.
The closer I get to thirty, I can feel the
cord is all dropping.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, so I'm like, well, then I wonder how thirties
are gonna I'm gonna have zero cord is all at all.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
That's the thing like, as you age, you kind of
like care less about what other people think.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
You become more of yourself and I think they're awesome.

Speaker 3 (08:59):
You have to take an active role in that a
little bit too, But I think it also just happens
as you age.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
So are you a millennial or No, You're not a millennial,
You're gen Z.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
I'm like a millennial gen Z cuss cusp. Yeah, so
but I feel like I am technically gen Z. But
I feel like sometimes I do millennial things like the
millennial pause that everyone like flames millennials for doing, like
like when you go on Cameo and you get a
cameo from like Jax Taylor, and he's like, you can
tell he like.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Not that you've done that.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
No, I have it, but I've seen someone else's and
and he like is recording and it's like literally three
seconds where he's just waiting for it to start. Oh,
I have I have done that. It's embarrassing. I did
get a cameo from Boston rob.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
I've never gotten a cameo for someone. Yeah, but people
seem to like that as a gift.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
It's it's really funny. I think as a gag gift.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, absolutely, not as a serious gift, no, like an
ironic yeah, because usually the people who are giving you're
providing the cameos, are you know.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
They're it's the Jacks Taylor's of the world.

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Yeah, yeah, I mean no, it's that's not gonna sound good. However,
I try to clean up, so never mind, I'll just
step right go rotten hail. Anyway, sign up for cameo.
Everybody get a cameo, get a cameo account, or maybe.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Maybe we could do a one for someone together, you
and me.

Speaker 1 (10:23):
I would love to do they can.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Do one for Boston Rott.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Wish we should create the next level of cameos cameo
plus for more legitimate.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
People, it's like Ryan for cameo cameo exactly.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
What is your biggest dating deal breaker?

Speaker 2 (10:42):
I feel like sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone,
especially when it's new, I'm like, I'm always like I
feel like I'm being pranked because there's like you hit
like a certain month mark and all of a sudden
they start being mean or.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
They start being real. Yeah, right, you start to see
them like they're real. Do you think that month mark
is how many?

Speaker 2 (11:00):
I feel like it's like it's always been kind of
like three for me. Yeah, if I even make it
that far, like because I feel like I'm always away
like on right working, so I feel like it usually
expedites that process.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, well, I feel like it's kind of similarly. I
also date like a lot of long distance people, so
it takes longer to get to that three month mark.
So it usually happens around the five or six month mark. True,
where you start to see more than you saw in
the beginning, totally, where it's not all sunshine and roses. Yes,
What is something that somebody would have to do to

(11:34):
ike you out in a dating scenario.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
The problem is, like I get the eggs so easily.
Me too. I'm like, what's the littlest thing you've gotten
a neck from? I like like mouth breathing, like closeure mouth.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Yeah. I don't like when it's somebody a man, says
they're going to go take care of something and then
they come back empty handed.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
I don't like that either.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Like even if it's just like if we're out of
function and then we can't find the bar and I'm like, okay,
you need to go get us the drinks. Yeah that's where,
and they're like I couldn't get it, and it's like, no,
that's not an option.

Speaker 2 (12:04):
Use your brain.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
You have to can't come back empty handed. It doesn't
have to be only alcohol focused either. I just want
to make this clear. I don't know, it has to
be task focused. If you're getting me something, yeah, get
the job done and don't come back until you've got
it done, because like I would never if you needed
something and I said I was gonna get it, I
would come back with it.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Or just like okay, so this maybe wasn't like a
relationship thing. But like on the same note, it's like
when people don't like use like their brain or common
sense to like solve a problem.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Like I was on a trip one time and the
person I was on the trip with like, we were
our like our tickets to like this one, our tickets
are the QR code was not scanning, and then like
they just stood there and I was like, go go
to the ticket like wait, go talk to someone, and

(12:54):
they were like, I just don't know what to do.
And I'm like, so I had to sprint to the offices,
like try to express what was going on. The boat
was about to leave, and it was just like it's
just I don't like feeling like I have to do everything.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
I think women in general are feeling this place. We
are exhausted.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
I'm exhausted by.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
Being so efficient. Yes, what I get done in the
first two hours of my day would rival what any
man I've ever dated gets done in.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Productive like yeah, so like and I mean.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Efficient though yeah, not only productive efficient multitasking. Okay, there's
eighteen emails. I'll get them all taken care of before
I get going, and so like when when you like,
I once stated a guy who didn't answer emails, he
didn't look at emails and I was like, what do
you mean you to look at emails. You're a professional.
He's like, I only operate through texts.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I respond better to texts. I actually, no, I take
it back. I'm really bad at text I'm phone call like,
like pick up the phone.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
I'm curious about people who are bad a texting because
that is like the most immediate like way to communicate.
And it's on your.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Phone, right, yeah, it's and it's coming up on my phone.
And the thing is, I am so like there's so
many things happening at one time that like I see
it and I'm like, okay, I'm going to respond to that,
so I don't open it. And then by the end
of that, by the time I have like a chance
or remember to look, there's like ten more I see

(14:26):
and I get so overwhelmed. Okay, and so I end
up usually like calling.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
But you just said you don't like phone calls. No,
I do, Oh you do like phone calls.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
I prefer because I feel like that is I don't know,
my thumbs get tired. I like that a phone call
like to respond to a text.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
I think that is nice. I mean, you can't ever
get mad at a phone call. Unless you're me and
you do get mad at phone calls, but I've actually
more tapped a phone calls. Yeah, I don't like a
surprise face time, Like I don't like, but I need
you to like preliminarily discuss that with me or give
me a heads up, like I'm going to face and
the people who FaceTime me are whackad's Like I'm like,
I'm not just answering a random FaceTime but I've grown

(15:07):
like I've kind of gotten more okay with FaceTime. I
don't like the act of sitting there and holding a
phone for that one. You know, that's the right. So
like when you're talking the phone, you can put an
AirPod in and walk through the airport, Like I'm not
going to walk through the airport.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
On a face efficiency, Yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 (15:25):
I want to be on the phone and also doing
me doing other things.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Yeah that's fair. I understand that. I just feel like
I always feel like I'm able to convey information much more,
much clear, much more clearly if it is me just
my stream in my stream of consciousness, like okay, and
oh in this thought, in that thought, and I feel
like sometimes over email or text I can't quite.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Do that as well.

Speaker 2 (15:54):
Yeah, I understand.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Do you have like a group of girlfriends or are
you like a best friend kind of girl? Like?

Speaker 2 (16:04):
What's your I have a group, so it's I wouldn't
say it's like a girl group, but I guess it's
just a bunch of people.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Have you ever had a really bad friendship breakup? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (16:14):
I've had a couple.

Speaker 1 (16:15):
Really Yeah, And how do you handle that?

Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's really gnarly.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
It's gnarly for anyone. I was. I say this, I
was at dinner with a girlfriend last night and we
were talking about it. We had the same breakup with
the same girlfriend, and we didn't know, and so she
and so then we went to dinner when we found
out that's good and we just sat there.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
And lie so much. Was it like for the same reason?

Speaker 1 (16:40):
Yes, So that was like very because it was like
we both it was both unveiled that the same person
did the same thing. And I already knew that because
I've been around this town. I know a lot of
the same we know, and but it was very It
felt like we were little girls in a sense, because
you know, I'm a charger than you obviously, and you

(17:00):
kind of want to get out of the habit of
like gossip, but it didn't feel like gossip. It felt
like therapy. I felt being seen and validated, Like, oh,
I was exactly right in what I deduced, but it
took me so much longer than it took her to
figure out what was going on.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Right. Also, like, it's not gossip if you're just spreading awareness.

Speaker 1 (17:23):
That's a great line too, that's for your other brand.
It's not gossip if you're spreading awareness. My driver the
other day said to me, it's not gossip, because I
said the same thing about this conversation to him. I go,
it was like he said, it's not gossip if it's information.
That's a thing you know, Actually, because there is a way,
there is a way where you can get with your friends,

(17:45):
whether they're your guy friends, girlfriends, whatever, where it can
be nasty and you're talking about someone.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
It can be malicious. Yes, that is that to me,
like is toxic and bad, bad.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
And a bad habit to get into on the regular.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Absolutely, Like there's no reason to say nasty things about
people if there is something that needs to be conveyed
then and if you're just telling the truth then like
if they get mad at it, then they shouldn't have
done it. Mm hmm, but I lost your.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Train of thought.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
I did.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Well. Luckily we're on the phone and not texting, so
I can pick up the conversation for you. But I
do I think that's a good way to exp because
there is a way to do something meanly, and then
there is a way to just send somebody a warning
like hey, just so you know, I know that person,
and this is how that goes. And sometimes people are
on the exact same page as you and you could.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Just know they are, yeah, and you know that they're
also not saying anything in it like to paint anyone
in a bad light.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
So when you do have like a friendship breakup or
any like experience that you've had, how do you handle
that situation?

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Honestly, I feel like sometimes they are worse, if not
the for me, they I think both times were worse
than an actual breakup, Like, yeah, that is the worst
thing ever, and.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
Because it's you know why, because it's like there's a
sisterhood and that betrayal is more unexpected than that betrayal
from a.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Guy totally, and with friendship breakups, I don't know. I
think I just like have to fully, like completely remove myself.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
But do you do you let the person know like
this relationship is over, or do you ghost them.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
I've not ghosted in this in this particular instance with
a friendship breakup, but like I also, it's happened two times.
The first time was something I fucked up and I
did something bad, and I spoke to her and I
was like, I'm really sorry and I did something really
bad and if you can't forgive me, I would. I

(19:55):
totally appreciate it, but I also understand if you won't,
and I'm sorry. And the other time it happened where
it was done to me and I have it's like
it's not ghosting, but I'm trying to figure out how
to have like the conversation I see right, you know,
because it's like it's just as painful.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Well, I think that's something you learn too. You get
better at as your age. I think you get better
at like break breakups all all across the board because
you you just realize that's kind of part of life,
and your expectations not fade as you get older, but
your expectations just aren't where they are when you're like
idealizing things like when you meet a guy when you're

(20:35):
in your twenties, it's a different expectation and romanticizing of
a relationship than it is if you're meet you meet
someone at my age, like you're like, oh, that'll be
a fun fling for a few months, or like, oh
this guy will be fun. Let's see what he's got.
You know, there's like an adventurous spirit, but it's not
like I'm tying myself to the end result of it. Sure,
So congratulations for this is season five of Outer Banks?

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Where done?

Speaker 1 (21:00):
And how does that make you feel?

Speaker 2 (21:01):
I'm really really proud of of everyone, and I mean,
it's crazy that we had a show that went for
five seasons, because that's impressive. And I'm also I'm happy,
you know, it's it's time to close the book, and
I think it's bittersweet, but I think and I but
I think everybody knows and everybody is like appreciative of

(21:24):
how and when we've decided to cut it off. We've
told all the story and they made me pregnant, you know,
that's when it show's done.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
I like the idea they made you pregnant. I like
that sentence they made like a group of men did
it problematical? Yeah, that would be problematical, which.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
Definitely was not my favorite character development.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
It wasn't you weren't happy about that?

Speaker 4 (21:50):
I know.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
I was like, it was like, I don't want to
wear the belt, Like I don't want to wear those
heavy like in the South Carolina summer where like the
heat index gets like one hundred and ten.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah. When I was watching that show, I was just
thinking to myself in my sinister, well cynical way. It's
a cynical way. I was like, and tell me if
this is true, because I've never felt film to anything
in that climate, but to be on an island seems
like a nice idea, but the filming aspect is probably
not that nice. Being in the sun all fucking day long.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah, it is it. I mean when we were in Barbados,
it was like, I don't know, it was both at
the same It was so beautiful and so I mean
a lot of our locations are stunning.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
And so windy. Sometimes we have.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
To re record sound for all of those. Oh.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
I was thinking there was so much wind in some
of the scenes that I'm like, how can they even
hear each other on the set?

Speaker 2 (22:48):
Eventually I have to stop down for I know, especially
when we're having like a really like intense scene in
conversation and like maybe my my psychotic brother comes into
the scene and then everyone it's like yelling at each
other and then like I don't know, Dad's dying and
it's just like your hair's in your face. It's like
it feels it starts to feel very like Scooby Doo

(23:10):
as like it becomes a little like silly. It's like, okay,
like what what else.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I like the way that you handle people's responses to
your growing over the course of five years or five seasons,
like your body, your face, the way you look, And
I liked your response to that. It's like, yeah, because
I'm getting older and like things have changed.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Experiences different.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, I'm eating different things. I have been through breakups.
I've been through all of those things. Like you have
changed as a person over the course of five years.
Of course you're going to start to look different after
five years.

Speaker 2 (23:45):
Totally, or like you go through breakups, or like you
find like comfort and food or like I don't know, right,
like we're always changing, Yeah, like drinking sometimes or like
unhealthy habits, or you're not going to the gym or
I don't know, you're on your period. Like it's just
but it's always like insane, like people's to me, people's
fascination with especially women's bodies, and like I mean, thanks, what,

(24:09):
but like so shut the fuck up. Have you like
major peace with that?

Speaker 3 (24:14):
Like how like being the subject of sort of this
endless online fascination.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
I've made my peace with it. I've also like I
also just accept that, you know, my body, like my
body reflects what whatever is going on with me, and
so I understand that sometimes it's going to change. And
and it's also like carried me through everything that I've
been through, and I'm like healthy and alive because of it.

(24:42):
So I also, you know, like if people can make
comments about it, I.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
Don't care, Like yeah, I mean, I mean just in
like being even like say we just take this podcast
like there I will see comments as like oh my god,
look at all her plastic surgery. And I'm like, first
of all, I was hung over that day, you know
what I mean, Like, like my face can be literally
like twice the size that it is. Some days I

(25:08):
have cheekbones, some days I don't.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
My face was the first place it shows I.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Mean, it's like, are you I'm a woman, I have
completely different every single day. Like it's the lighting, it's
what you like when you eat, Like I mean, for
two episodes, I looked orange and I'm like, why am
I so orange?

Speaker 2 (25:25):
And then we realized that.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Coming down literally the curtains that are orange and are
refracting off of me or I'm refracting off. But it's
so ridiculous that you don't understand that people look like
I mean, when I was on when I had a
talk show, it was every single day and I could
look vastly different day to day, you know what I mean.
I don't think people quite understand that all of the

(25:50):
stuff is not reflective also of how you look in
real life, like all of the camera stuff adds stuff.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
And also the camera like the way it magnified like
any and everything it possibly can. And that's how like
when we were shooting seven years of Outer Banks and
been through so much, but like from season to season,
I look so different and it's reflective of like what
I was going through and like and that's okay, but

(26:17):
people would make comments about it, and at first it
bummed me out, but I'm like, yeah, you know, but
also they're making us like we were. We would have
to wear like crazy like faked tans, and then they
you know, lots of like makeup and silicon belly and
also like I wasn't an automatic to wear mascara, and

(26:37):
there was no there was nothing. They didn't want anything
to make us look like no concealer. They didn't want
any any like pretty makeup because why they wanted us
to look supernatural and sweaty and dirty and so like.
So automatically it's like, well they're they're not setting us
up for success for people to make nice comments about them.

(27:02):
We were already at a disadvantage.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
I have always wondered this when you're out in the
sun all day and you're on set, like what is
the sunblock situation? Are there people slathering you? Like how
is that working?

Speaker 2 (27:12):
I mean there's spray obviously, like the spray sunscreen was
king because and then we would put like a foundation on,
but it was so hot we would just sweat it off. Yeah,
so just re spraying. But also the bug situation was
so bad. So when we were laying our splearing ourselves

(27:33):
with spray sunscreen and deep and we all its sound
so bad.

Speaker 1 (27:39):
I know that deep stuff smells so bad. It's like
I think I would rather be fried by the sun. Well,
I don't know the bugs. I'm trying to think which
which element is more annoying because the bugs are so annoying.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
There's so bad.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
Yeah, but then the sun can kill you. The bugs
can't really kill you. I mean they could carry I
don't know.

Speaker 2 (27:58):
The bugs in South Carolina are kind kind of like
you're kind of meddle as fuck.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
I was like, is that a phrase? I don't know about?
Middle So, you've dated a lot of people. You've dated
a DJ, you've dated an actor, you've dated a musician,
if you dated a comedian, sure, yeah, So is there
anyone that you would never date again, any type of
career that you would never date again? Or is there
a career choice out there of somebody you wouldn't date, Like,
would you date a finance guy?

Speaker 2 (28:28):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
I don't think I would.

Speaker 2 (28:30):
I don't. I don't think I could.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
Unless they were bringing like huge amounts of cash.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Well yeah, okay, actually maybe yeah maybe. So I wouldn't
say like never again to any of them. But I
do think, you know, after a while, I was like
maybe like maybe this industry is a little gnarly for dating. Sure,
like maybe I should look elsewhere, so I you know,

(28:56):
maybe that lends itself to a finance guy, but or.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Just somebody that's not in the business. The reason why
we everyone in the business dates other people in the
business is obviously because of proximity. Like those are the
people you meet, and those are the people you're around
the most. That's why I feel like it's so important
to have a real life, you know, like outside of work,
so that you can meet real people and normal people.
But then it's really hard for those normal people to
kind of assimilate to the lifestyle because the lifestyle is

(29:22):
not like movable or manageable. It's like refra shoot dates
like those are non negotiable. You don't know how long
you're going to work each day, and there's no room.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
For like that's the thing. It is, Like I have
also dated people who weren't in the industry in an
effort to fix that problem. But that was the problem,
or fix the problem of dating. And then yeah, and
then and then I got annoyed because I felt like
I was having to explain everything. I'm like, this is

(29:55):
just my job and also this is my life.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, I had a similar situation where I recorded a podcast.
This is a guy I dated a couple of years ago.
I recorded a podcast. It was before I had met him,
and I was just talking about how great it is
to be single. And they held the podcast for a
couple of months, and then the podcast came out after
he and I had gone public, and he couldn't wrap
his head around the fact that I had recorded a

(30:21):
podcast it was old, and he's like, why would you
talk about the guys? And I was like, because that's
what I was doing before I met you. And he
couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the podcast
had been recorded months ago and they just released it
like he thought it was live.

Speaker 2 (30:35):
So that also happened to me one time where I
like made comments before like you know, we had you know,
become official official, and then in the timing of the
release of those comments was really bad, like really gnarly
for him. But I like, I explained, I explained everything,

(30:56):
but you know, just it still felt like he was
still just not happy, and I'm like, I don't I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Are you someone that looks too like do you think
about yourself in the future. Do you think about being married,
Do you think about having children? Is that something you
care about?

Speaker 2 (31:11):
I do. I think it's you know, I think they're
all fun things to think about. But the idea of
childbirth really terrifies me. Really, Yeah, because I was only like,
only last year did I learn like really gnarly details
about childbirth.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, childbirth seems like something that the less you know
about it going in better.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Well, there's a girl on TikTok who has a list.
So when women go on to TikTok and tell their
birthing stories and she gets really specific, it cuts to
this girl writing down a list and there's like three
hundred reasons she has so far of why not she
does not want to have a baby. So I like
to think about all these things. But, like we were

(31:56):
saying earlier, I mean, I'm just like marriage, sure, but
just give me the right.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yeah you said that now twice that you want the
ring so hopefully because it's sparkly. Yeah, I get it,
I get it. I understand people want rings and jewelry.
Girls like jewelry, love jewelry. Do you still I heard
something when I was doing my research on you that
you felt like you had imposter syndrome in this business,

(32:21):
which I hear all the time from everyone, which I've
also felt. Do you feel that way still?

Speaker 2 (32:27):
I do. I feel like I'm getting a lot more
comfortable in my skin, but I do still feel like.
I just went and shot a movie with jud Appatite,
and it was it was the best time I have
truly ever had.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Shooting, and that's nice.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
It was really fun. But it's the first time I've
legitimately done comedy, and I've always wanted to, but I
was just once it was once we were in prep
and once you know, we were getting scripts, I it's like,
oh my god, I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Maybe I'm not funny, Like just like I don't, I

(33:07):
don't think I'm maybe are they sure they've got the
right girl? And then you know, also I was playing
a singer and then so there with that also came
a lot of movement and vocal training, which was very cool.
But I was so afraid that on the day I
was going to walk on and just like be a fraud. Right,

(33:29):
So yes, I still get it badly. But then but
then like once, once we started getting into our flow
state then it went away.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, yeah, I mean the singing part is scary too.
I have to see it because are you a natural singer?

Speaker 2 (33:41):
You know? Eric petrou Had did some like miracle work
ye on me.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Yeah, I think you can get almost anybody to be
able to like at least hold a tune, which is
what I carry. So I can't even refer.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
I think I feel like I've said that too, hold
a tune. Are we both wrong?

Speaker 1 (34:02):
I think, But I mean it's the same idea. Yeah,
it doesn't really matter semantics.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
Is there anything that you're like, you know, talking about
trying comedy for the first time. Is there anything that
you are you want to do in the future but
you are scared to do.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
I think I think comedy was really scared of because
it's hard. It's not like, yeah, you can't just make
something funny like you. It either is or it isn't.
And it's also I think in like a comedy movie,
like all four wheels have to be hitting the ground,
everyone has to be like kind of throwing their fastball.
And so that was really scary. But I would love

(34:42):
to do more. We had the best time. I would
love to do action. We do a lot of action
on outer banks. I think that's fun.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
And how do you like about that?

Speaker 2 (34:53):
Because it kind of makes me feel a little badass.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
So I think it'd be really fun to do more.
And I think comedy is also really closely related to horror,
and like camp camp horror, which I think is really sick.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeah, what did you grow up watching?

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I grew so Actually I wasn't allowed to watch horror
growing up. But the very first horror movie I did see,
which is actually a comedy, were the scary movies?

Speaker 1 (35:21):
Okay, yeah, those are hard to miss. Yeah, there's another
one that just came out.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Yes, and then and then I think, like, oh, and
then the first real horror movie I watched I think
was Insidious too.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
I don't know if I saw that.

Speaker 4 (35:38):
I'm not.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I'm not into horror as much.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah, have you done any horror? I did? I know
what you did last summer that was like slasher?

Speaker 1 (35:47):
What's the difference between slasher and horror?

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Like slasher slasher horrorse like like there's this there's a
deranged serial killer on the loose who's gonna get you,
And it's probably like your ex boyfriend's uncle for some reason,
and he was like.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
You know, it's very heightened, even more than horror, Like yeah,
like right, like horror is gonna like really scary you,
whereas like Slasher is like a rump with scary themes.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yes, and that's that's what we did, which was really fun.
I enjoyed that very much. My favorite thing too, it
is like when you're when we were making a horror
movie and like something in the take would go wrong
or the timing would go off, it would immediately turn
it into Scooby Doo and like really funny, like where
you know you're running. They're running down the hallways and

(36:34):
they miss each other and it's it was really funny
because I'm like, oh wait, this could so easily become hilarious.
It just which I guess is what they like do
in a scary movie.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
But what about lying? Are you good at lying?

Speaker 2 (36:46):
What a terrible liar? You are a terrible liar.

Speaker 1 (36:49):
It's an actor, You're a bad liar?

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Yeah? Is it acting?

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Just lying?

Speaker 2 (36:54):
But the thing is like when I'm when I'm lying,
I don't believe myself. And when I'm acting, I'm like
I have to have to believe what's coming out of
my mouth, or I just will start over.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
How did you discover that you were bad at lying?

Speaker 2 (37:07):
I think it was pretty early on. I specifically remember
my mom one time asking me if I had done
my reading for the day, like my twenty minute reading
for school, and she was like, when did you finish?
And I was like this. I was also really young too.
I wasn't this stupid, but I said, at three seventy two.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
That is stupid. That's funny. I'm like, i feel like
I was a good liar, but I'm sure I probably wasn't.
I don't like to lie, just because my lies would
turn into these volcanic eruptions, like I wouldn't just tell
a lie, I would like double mouth the lie, and
then they were like three other people involved, and like

(37:53):
the things that people could easily check, and then just
like basically implicate other people, like I would basically implicate
people that weren't involved in it at all. So you're
basically dragging everyone down with you. And my friends would
be like, why didn't you just say like you're not
in the mood, you know, like why do you involve
everyone else? Why are you involving so many people in

(38:14):
your lives, Like why are they so multi levels?

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Go to dinner because my best friend's dog died.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
And then yeah, I was once trying to get a
rid of a guy. We were in Barcelona and I
was on a date and I was trying to I mean,
this guy flew to Barcelona to meet me, right, I
had a bunch of friends there. We were there, and
then as soon as I saw him, I was like,
oh no, no, this is not going to happen. And
then I made up a friend. I made up a
fake character, I made up a wedding, I made up

(38:42):
I It was right after that Vicki Christina Barcelona movie
came out, so I kept calling her Vicki Christina my cousin,
and I was like, she's getting married in Barcelona and
we actually have to go buy her some wedding shoes
right now?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Is crazy.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
And my friend was watching me and was like you
were And we ended up running into them at the
hotel when we were supposed to be at the wedding.
This guy came out and flew out with his friend.
We thought when we said it was a wrap and
I was going to the wedding, that he would go
back to London where he came from. But he came
back and stayed there and we got caught red handed.
And as I saw him, I just I was like,

(39:18):
don't no matter what. And they're like, Chelsea, shut up,
like you are caught red handed because saying no matter what,
we are still going to the wedding. Just keep this story. Yeah,
so I can't. So I don't lie just because I mean,
because you're I do sometimes, but I do. I when

(39:39):
I when I think about lying, I'm just like, just
it's just so much easier to tell the truth totally.
Don't implicate other people and just say the truth.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I know. But that's the thing is, like I I
also do the I I just tell the truth. I
am such a confessionalist that sometimes I give people too
much information and then it actually does throw people under
the book.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Yeah, I'm with you. That's what I do out of
doing that or or stunt in my careerd cbd.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I actually have a listener question that's all about how
to lose a guy.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
So maybe we just transition. Oh okay, you ready for
some advice question?

Speaker 1 (40:14):
Yeah, let's do it.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Okay, Well, this one's just an email, but Meg says
dear Chelsea. I'm a thirty two year old female. I
recently escaped a five year relationship, and I find myself
getting into pickles with men I'm not interested in.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Pickles? Is an interesting This.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
Is interesting specifically men I'm acquaintances with and see on
a regular basis work neighbors. When they ask to spend
time with me, I regrettably agree on the spot because
I'm not sure how to reject them politely. I then
struggle to either reject them later or I avoid them.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Like the plague.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
You know, I don't owe them anything, but the fact
that there are people that I will continue to see
on a regular basis and the desire not to make
anyone feel bad it makes it hard to say no.
I need a blueprint on how to handle these situations
on the spot, because they usually happen when I'm not
expecting it and when I've got my friendly coworker or
neighbor mask on.

Speaker 1 (41:01):
Thanks Meg, Wow, So these are people that she's gonna
see again.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
I want to hang out like a coworker, it's a neighbor,
it's a somebody you see regularly.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Oh. Because I have a good answer for people, you'll
never see again. You can just you're having a terrible outbreak.
That usually ends the conversation right away. But I think
what's a good way to shut someone down if you're
not interested in a nice way? Because I do think
it's important to not leave people hanging and holding off
for hope. So I mean, and if you're saying you

(41:32):
have a you can't lie and say you already have
a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They're gonna if you're gonna
if these are recurring characters. But you can say I
just actually started seeing someone, and then that could fall apart.
It's new, Yeah, it's new, And then that way it
doesn't have to come to fruition, right good. I mean,
I think that's a decent way. Another thing you can
do is just say I'm so sorry, but I'm totally

(41:54):
not even looking at you in that way or feeling
anything in that way, so I don't even want to
I mean, I know that's a little it sounds hard
to say, but there's a succinct way to say that,
to say, like, I really want to keep it perfect.
Especially if you work with them, you can always use
that as an excuse to be like, I really don't
want to mix work with pleasure. I've had a bad
experience in the past totally, or you could say I yeah,

(42:17):
you could say that, and then the only problem with
that is if you start dating a different co work,
but at that who gives a ship? But I'm a
fan of telling people letting people down at night, like
like I'm just saying being because so many people ghost,
so many people, yes, and I think that's kind of
really fucked up. It fucks with people's psyches, right, Like

(42:39):
you have to just be really direct and say I'm
not feeling.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
It or I'm not seeing it.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
I don't want to see anybody, right, I'm in something
slightly and I want to see where this goes, you know,
like that's a nicer, softer land like that. What do
you tell somebody when you're not interested?

Speaker 2 (42:53):
See, here's the problem? Like, sometimes I let it go
too far?

Speaker 1 (42:57):
Did I used to do that too?

Speaker 4 (42:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (42:58):
I think every woman doesn't because.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
I don't want. I hate letting, like I hate hurting
people's feelings. And then I'm like, what was I thinking?
But whatever? And so then I usually call and I'm
like and I just tell them I just but sometimes.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
Say what what do you say?

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Sometimes they ask like why right, and then I'm a
confessionalist and I'll tell them, but then that ends up hurting.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Their feelings, like what what what have you said to
someone who's whose feelings have been hurt in that in
that kind of situation.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
You eat all my food and you didn't pay for anything.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
You like, I want my ring like that, I'm out
here looking for a ring everybody.

Speaker 2 (43:40):
I just don't think it's gonna work out. Yeah, And
I think we should not speak anymore.

Speaker 1 (43:48):
I love that men don't think that they have to
pay for things, Like what's that about? I think they're confusing.
They're confusing like chivalry with misogyny almost like.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
You know what I mean, I don't have to make
an effort.

Speaker 1 (43:59):
Like everyone's getting everything confused. It's like, well, why do
we have to pay for things? You guys want to
be treated equally. It's like, that's not the reason, that's
not that doesn't have anything.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
To do like that, you didn't say anything. I'm like,
I'm I'm literally use your brain.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Yeah, just like and also it's like a polite thing
to do if I were to take a woman out
to dinner or ask a woman to dinner if I
would pay, like just if it's a friend situation, it's
like whoever asks you pay, And dating historically and traditionally
is just like a nice way for a man to be,
like I'm going to take you out for on a day, show.

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Them a nice time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, Yeah it's nice. Meg. Yeah,
I'm sorry, Meg.

Speaker 1 (44:37):
Yeah, we have live callers. Are you ready for that?

Speaker 2 (44:44):
So exciting? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (44:44):
I hope you've been to therapy so you can give
some because that's what we do here.

Speaker 2 (44:48):
Yes, all right.

Speaker 3 (44:50):
Lennee has a very tricky question, so she says, dear Chelsea,
please help me know what to say so I don't
feel like a ball busting asshole to my husband. I'm
married to a wonderful, thoughtful, and caring man who only
wants me to feel fulfilled and happy. I know some
men would think I'm impossible to live with, but this
man has never said a negative word about my hatred

(45:10):
for football and video games.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
I know that.

Speaker 3 (45:14):
I know that he participates much less in both of
these interests because of a clear boundary I set when
we were dating. Lately, even our choice of what we
watch on television together isn't vibing I'm interested in documentaries,
and my husband finds these to be mostly depressing. He
prefers something lighthearted, but I cannot watch another rerun.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Of Friends or the Office.

Speaker 3 (45:32):
My husband thinks he's found the solution for us, but
I don't have the heart to tell him that this
solution is triggering to me. He thinks I love watching
food eating challenges with him on YouTube. Beard meets Food
seems to be his favorite. He'll wait for me so
we can watch new episodes together, and he.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
Travel a lot for work.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
He sees it as our new show and gets excited
to watch it together. The thing is, I have struggled
with bolimia since I was twelve. He knows this, but
we haven't discussed it in years. I'm now forty, and
it's been getting harder harder not to binge and purge
when my husband isn't around.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
This show triggers me. Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
When I'm watching, I'll be dreaming of the moment I
get to be alone again to binge and purge, and
I hate that feeling. I feel like if I tell
my husband, it will be yet another thing that I
hate and he enjoys. How do I have this conversation
without him feeling like I'm micromanaging his interests. Am I
just doomed to sit through sitcomer runs for hopefully the
next forty years with the love of my life, Lenae.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
Hi Line, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is our special guest,
Madeline Klein.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
Hi. Nice to meet you.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Hello.

Speaker 2 (46:34):
Maybe you guys can watch Outer Banks?

Speaker 1 (46:36):
Yeah, watching Outer Banks together?

Speaker 2 (46:39):
We haven't.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
I haven't tried that show.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
It's a fun it's a fun romp.

Speaker 1 (46:45):
I think that you have to be really honest with
your husband because now you're in a precarious situation with
a history of an eating disorder that is triggering. Like
that is completely valid information. And listen, here's the thing.
You guys don't have to watch TV together. You just
don't like. It's not like a fundamental necessity. It's great

(47:10):
if you can find something or a series that you
guys are gonna like together, but it's not absolutely necessary.
You can do other things together. Why don't you go
for a walk? Like I know that sounds like the blah,
but actually lots of people do that and it's a
way to connect without any distraction. Because I don't really
feel like necessarily watching TV with people is the biggest connection.

Speaker 4 (47:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Yeah, it's kind of like a lazy connection. That's true.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
We've been talking a lot. We own a lot of
book I have quite a book collection. We've been to
about needing to read more together. Yeah, but when we've tried,
it's just the dead silence in the house and so
we're talking about all music in the background while we read.
We just haven't quite found the groove of that yet.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
You know, Okay, with reading, I can help you with this.
With reading, you have to set the tone. You have
to get into the groove, and you have to force yourself.
You can put on some jazz, put on some class
so it's not distracting. Obviously, you know you're not gonna
be listening to hip hop and reading. So like, just
put on some background music and literally sit there with
your partner. You don't even have to read the same book. No,

(48:12):
you can just both read fifty pages of a book
and sit down and discuss it after. Or you can
read fifty pages. I mean you can read fifty pages
of the same book. Or you can read and you
can start small, start with twenty five pages. Anyone could
read twenty five pages of a book and just set
a new pattern, like of something that you guys can
do together. And you know, if you're not really agreeing

(48:34):
on shows to watch, I don't know that you're going
to be having the same interest in books necessarily. So
I think you can be open to like reading two
different things and then just talking about it, like telling
each other the story about it. It's just more of
a connectivity. I find watching TV with a partner to
be pretty lazy, quite frankly. I mean, no judgment, but

(48:54):
you know, when I do it, I'm always like, what
are we doing this for? Shouldn't we be like fucking
or doing something more. I definitely agree, you know, and
maybe there's some other things you guys can start doing together,
like going out at night and go into the movies
or going bowling or stupid shit, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
He travels so much for work.

Speaker 5 (49:13):
I feel like it's something he looks forward to, like
actually being at home and decompressing and enjoying that. And
my biggest hesitation because I can tell him anything.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I just he's a.

Speaker 5 (49:23):
Huge overcorrector, so I feel anytime I'll give him feedback,
you know, help cooking more dinners. The next thing is
a homemade from scratch lasagna, revel taco night or something.
So I don't ever want him to feel like a
huge overcrrection is needed.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
But just you should tell him that, honestly, because like that, right,
like that is so sweet, and that the fact that
he's that he's actually like he's listening to you and
he's hearing what you're saying, and just tell him, like,
I don't want you to overcorrect, but this habit or
this this activity is maybe on a group activity for

(50:02):
me to be included in, and like don't make him
feel like his interest is like invalid or lame. But
I think if he will, if he does over correct,
then maybe there's the potential that he can just correct
course correct to a different activity together.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yeah, play games like play Rummy cue.

Speaker 3 (50:21):
There's always so Yeah, puzzles are just boring though like a.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
Game at least there's like conversation going a little bit
more than a puzzle. And I just think, like I
understand if he's tired, and I feel that way when
I come back from the road, like I'm tired. I
just want to like get in bed and not think
I get it. I totally get it. So give a
couple of options and be malleable, which I'm sure you
already are. But the most important thing is you don't

(50:49):
have to care for his feelings into the degree that
you're talking about when you're talking about and eating disorder,
like you're the number one priority in that situation. And
he would say the same thing, yeah, yeah, So like,
don't apologize for his overcorrection. If he's gonna overcorrect, you
can tell him, like Madeline said, like you can tell
him you don't have to overcrack. But also like you

(51:11):
need to be very honest about your truth. You are
the number one priority in this situation.

Speaker 3 (51:16):
Yeah, And a great thing to tell him is like
you can go ahead and watch the show. This is
your show to watch in the hotel when you're traveling
for work, Like this is a new show, I just
I just.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Can't watch it.

Speaker 3 (51:26):
To get a little more book nerdy about setting the stage.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
For when you're reading together.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Sure, I like putting on music, but this is like
very nerdy. You can go on YouTube and find background
that you put on the TV.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
It's kind of fun.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Like if I'm reading a spooky book, I'll put on
a background that's like stormy night and you're in a
cabin and it's kind of fun.

Speaker 1 (51:48):
Well, you were right to warn me about that advice.
Thank you. First of all, if I could figure out
how to fucking do that, my life would be a
lot different. I could set the settings on my TV screen.
I mean, I go to houses. I my god, how
did you do that? But also, yeah, find some stuff
to do. That's like, you know, there's so much you
can do, like learn how to play cribbage together, learn

(52:08):
how to play gin ye, play gin together, play a
card game. There's other ways to connect and relax that
don't require like leaving the house. You know, if he
really wants to chill out.

Speaker 5 (52:18):
I had a small conversation about wanting to have more
deep conversations with each other a few months ago, and
he literally went out and bought this card game that's
for connecting and and then I'm the one.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
Who kind of stopped.

Speaker 5 (52:32):
The questions got real and I kind of shut down
a little, so I know, we should pick that game
back up again. He took the effort to hear me
and move forward with us to connect through that. I just,
you know, one of the first questions of how have
I ever let you down? And it just was so
so deep, so quick.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Yeah, yeah, I bet there's other card games so that
I feel there definitely are that are like more conversation
starters than like relationship bummers you know what, I'll send you.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
I can't remember what they're called, but there are these
like packs of like conversation starters that you can like
use together and they're fun when you have guests over
and super fun.

Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah, Perka, thank you so much. Yeah, but definitely, like
you know that is you're a number one like focus
on telling the truth you want to know.

Speaker 2 (53:25):
Yes, it's not an excuse, that's a reason and it's.

Speaker 1 (53:28):
Oh there you go. That's another tagline for your other
brand that we're going to come up with. Yeah, I
have three brand taglines.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
Will you check back in with us, Have you guys
have the conversation?

Speaker 2 (53:36):
Yes, absolutely absolutely, I'll follow up.

Speaker 1 (53:39):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
All right, thanks Renee.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
I've got lots of couples have problems connecting like after
a while, because it's like, what do you talk about
after you've been with somebody for fifteen years? Yeah, you're
of the generation where everyone was named Madeline because I
had a cabbage batch kid name or cabbage Batch kids
were a prelude to a generation of names because everyone name, yes,
everyone who was my age who named like Gretchen, Gracie Taylor,

(54:05):
and then then everyone grew up that was my age
and had babies and then named them those babies. Yeah. Yeah,
but I like the name made little too. It's a
good name.

Speaker 2 (54:14):
That's your middle name, Renee. Okay, yeah, I liked Madeline.
I think I think the story like my parents found
out that they were going to have me when they
were visiting there in Paris, and they thought that then
the book, the Madeline Book was really cute. Oh yeah,
the Little Cookies. So they just changed the name.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
Do you have siblings?

Speaker 2 (54:35):
I'm an only child?

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Oh really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
They had a hard time having or getting pregnant with me,
so and then I was apparently very happy, quiet baby.
So they were like, maybe we should just quit while
we're ahead. Yeah, but they took me to the doctor
when I was little because I would not speak.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
How long did it take you to speak?

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Mm? It was pretty quiet up until like maybe when
I was ten, I just are yapping away?

Speaker 1 (55:01):
What do you mean ten?

Speaker 2 (55:02):
Yeah? I just didn't really speak. Like my mom would
be like how is your day and be like.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
At six and five, like when you went to school, speak.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Right, I could speak. I just chose not. I just
didn't want to. Interesting.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
I must have been concerning for them.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
That's yeah, that's they were like, she's just fine. She
just she doesn't see a reason.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
It's an interesting attitude for a little kid.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
Yeah, it's so funny, Abstained.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Yeah, I'm the youngest of six kids, so it would
never have occurred to me not to speak, because that
was the only way to get shipped down.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Or to get like I'm sure to be like yeah heard, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
I'm like, fuck all these other people. Yeah, hell no,
I need some attention. But that if you are an
only child, why why would you, jock? You're like, I
got everything I need right here.

Speaker 2 (55:46):
We did lots of puzzles without speaking, did you ye
while ding puzzle? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (55:56):
Okay, I really want to get to those collars because
this is a really interesting question. So Hallie is twenty
seven and her subject line is the twenty seven year
old with fifteen year old daughters. Dear Chelsea. When I
was twenty four years old, I accidentally became a mom
to two twelve year old girls. When I say twenty four,
I mean barely twenty four. They celebrated their twelfth birthday

(56:18):
and I celebrated my twenty fourth together. I know, accidentally
adopted two preteens. Sounds like a story that would involve
a cult, drugs, possibly a head injury. But I worked
with foster kids and was started as helping out somehow
turned into motherhood. And before anyone tells me this is normal,
I know people start families young all the time. I
genuinely just never thought it would happen to me. Now

(56:39):
I'm twenty seven and they're fifteen. I envisioned my twenties dating, traveling, partying,
and making regrettable decisions. Instead I spent mine explaining to
two teenage girls why they shouldn't make regrettable decisions. Although
to be fair, I do try to lead by example.
To be clear, I love these girls more than anything,
but I do occasionally feel like I skipped directly from

(56:59):
age twenty four, or to exhausted mother who's fighting for
her life every day, and the time flies when you're
fighting for your life. My biggest fear becoming a grandmother, Chelsea.
I cannot stress this enough. I am not built for grandmotherhood.
I still get carted. I have brought them to school hungover.
Some days, I feel like I'm moving backwards on the
responsibility scale. I can't cook and have no understanding of finances.

(57:20):
There's absolutely nothing about me that says mom, much less grandma.
So now I spend most of my time trying to
raise two independent, responsible, successful young women, while simultaneously begging
them not to do anything that could result in me
raising another child. Here's my question. Am I delusional for
looking at the calendar and thinking, Okay, when these girls graduate,
I can finally have my twenties or is that selfish?

Speaker 2 (57:40):
Is there such a.

Speaker 3 (57:41):
Thing as a delayed young adult phase? Can I be
grateful for my life and still feel like I missed
a chapter?

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Or am I just a mom?

Speaker 1 (57:47):
Now?

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Honestly, I'm receptive to any advice, criticism, reality checks are
tough love. I'm just desperate for at least one person
not to answer with, well, what did you think was
going to happen?

Speaker 2 (57:57):
Because clearly I was not thinking.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
Sincerely, Halle, Hi, Halle, Hi, Helle Hi.

Speaker 1 (58:03):
This is our special guest, Madeline Client is here today.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Hello.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Hey, First of all, way to go. That is awesome
and generous and loving and such a thing that a
woman would do is adopt to twelve year olds. So
that's awesome that you did that. And you're giving them
a stable home, and you're giving them love, and you're
giving them an education on life. So all of these
things are beautiful. Are you delusional to think that you

(58:28):
can have your own life once they hopefully are they
going to go to college? These girls, that's the hope. Yeah,
they want to. Yeah, okay, great, that's all they need
is to want to do it and then that will
most likely happen. No, you're not delusional. Yes, you're gonna
have your life. This is fucking awesome that you already
have too. Sixteen fifteen or they're fifteen now right, three

(58:50):
years okay, you have two more years of this until
they go to college. Two more years. Dive into them
big time. Make sure they know that you are not
going to be a grandmother. Make sure that they are
educated about birth control. Get them injected with whatever nouva
ring they need to have. I don't know why I
touched my elbow or the inside. I was thinking of

(59:12):
my v because that's how you get a neuva ring
in my mind, you know. But just make sure that
they are you know, they've got it. They don't want
to have a baby. Do they want to have a baby?

Speaker 2 (59:25):
No, But I just worry where Okay, but don't worry
about things that haven't happened, do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (59:33):
That's just like you're almost almost like manifesting it by
worrying about it so much that you should probably flip
it and reverse it and be like, they would never
do such a thing to me. You're not even their
biological mother, Like how could you be expected to raise another,
you know, generation of children. Like that's just like that's
not a default setting in my viewpoint. You would be

(59:55):
there to help, but you're not going to be there
to you know, step in and raise a baby. So
obviously have you made that clear to them?

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
I did.

Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
I just worried because they create like negative attention.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
A lot of the time, uh huh, And.

Speaker 4 (01:00:10):
So I try to give them space to kind of
be who they are, figure out who they are, but
also while set in boundaries and it's just a little difficult.

Speaker 1 (01:00:17):
Yeah. Yeah, And do you have someone who helps you, like,
do you have like a parenting coach or do you
like how do you how do you know how to
do this. You're just figuring it out as you go Google. Yeah. Great,
Well that's what most parents are doing anyway, So don't
worry about that. But the broader question is you're going
to have your own life. The fact that you have
two kids that are going to college when you're going

(01:00:38):
to be like twenty nine years old, that's when your
life is going to begin again.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
We were just talking about at the beginning of this
podcast was how excited I am from my thirties because
I feel like they're going to be even more awesome
than my twenties. So I feel like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
They are and they are awesome. I'm here to tell
you it gets better as you age as a woman.
It just keeps getting better and better and better. You're
more like, look what you've already accomplished.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Cool.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Most people are gonna be like ten years from where
you are, raising seventeen year old children or fifteen year
old children, do you know what I mean? Like, you
have an advantage because you were so young, so stop
looking at it as a disadvantage and look at it
as an advantage. You gave these girls a safe place
to grow up, so like that is invaluable like beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

(01:01:24):
and yeah, and so like you have like the whole
world ahead of you, and of course you're missing out
on this time in your twenties, but honestly, this isn't
the best time of your life anyway. Like your thirties
are going to be even better than your twenties. So
then you can be free, and then you could go
out and spread your wings.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
And fly when you're smarter and cooler than ever. Yes, yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Hope so yeah, yeah, but don't hope. So no, So
that's what's gonna happen. Where do you live? I live
in Louisiana? Okay? I was gonna say that accent I
couldn't quite place, and that's usually Louisiana when you can't
place it. Are you in New Orleans? Another part close
by New Orleans? Okay? So how did these girls come
into your life?

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
I work with kids in the Foster hair system, and
I worked closely with them. They went home with their
dad and I just kind of kept in touch just
in case, and one day he dropped him off and
said pretty much he can't do it anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
And I tried to.

Speaker 4 (01:02:23):
Work with them the best that I could, but then
it was like I had to make a decision to
step up or I would have had to be the
bad guy and put them back where they did not
want to go. And so I mean it was the
easy yes for me at the time. I just I
didn't think future, Like I wasn't thinking what my life

(01:02:44):
would look like, you know, five years from that moment
or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
And how good for those girls that you weren't thinking.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
You know, yeah, yeah, you did it. That's a beautiful
thing that you've done. And these girls aren't gonna they
they're gonna get it. They're not gonna go out and
get pregnant. And if they do get pregnant, then hoefully
they'll get an abortion and they won't have a baby
before they're ready to have a child, you know what
I mean. Like people do make mistakes and that then
and you can you know, I don't know if Louisiana

(01:03:10):
is a state where you can, but whatever. Don't like
think about that aspect of things. Just make sure they're educated,
which I know you already are doing about getting pregnant
and about protecting themselves. And I understand that young girls
get off on negative attention. I know that, and that
can be a bad habit, but it's also kind of
part of growing.

Speaker 2 (01:03:28):
Up and the fact that you're also like allowing them
space while also setting boundaries with them and like allowing
them to be individuals with their own thoughts and feelings,
and you're not you're not helicoptering them. You're allowing them
to grow up and still teach them and tell them

(01:03:50):
to like learn from me. Is that is so amazing? Yea,
Like the the lessons and the freedoms that you're giving
them is truly Like, especially I know it's so difficult
when when they're teenagers. I remember like how annoying I was,
But like I was always so grateful when my parents

(01:04:10):
gave me a little bit of freedom, So I trust
and trust.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
Yes, I think the way to build trust is to
give people a little latitude and seeing what they come
back with. Like sometimes when you trust people who haven't
been entrusted before, they really value that, you know what
I mean. So it's like giving them a little of
latitude and seeing how they respond in that situation. And yeah,
I'm sure these girls are like endlessly grateful to you.

(01:04:37):
They are.

Speaker 4 (01:04:38):
It's I just want to make sure that I'm doing
the best possible thing. And I know that no parent
is perfect, like for sure, but that's why I'm always
willing to learn and to hear from other people.

Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
Yeah, you do, you are. You're doing a great job.
You are and calling and asking questions and being open
to that is also great. I have no doubt that
you the best influence that these girls have ever had.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
Yeah. Yeah, so just hold tight and then get your
pussy out when they go to college and get the
fucking party started.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
Yeah, I can't wait.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Okay, thanks for calling, Kelly.

Speaker 4 (01:05:20):
Thank y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
Bye bye.

Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
I love accent.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
I know. It was like I was like, where is
and then she said something else and I'm like, wait, no,
that's not Mississi, And then that is occasion accent for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
Okay, Well that's our episode of Madeline Kline, who has
been so cute and oh my god, you guys can
watch Outer Banks. Season five is going to be on
Netflix in a couple of weeks. In a couple of
weeks August twentieth. Everybody, they have a couple tongues like draff.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
At gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find
full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get
tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahanler dot com