September 26, 2024 • 19 mins
Amy is diving into ADHD paralysis after a lister, Polly, emailed her about it. Amy was diagnosed with ADHD in college (over 20 years ago) and it’s been a journey of learning why her brain is this way and trying out strategies to help ever since. Amy is not an expert and she doesn’t want to come off as one…she is just a curious person that shares her own experiences and what she’s gathered so that you can feel supported and less alone if ADHD paralysis is something you struggle with. Amy starts by breaking down what ADHD paralysis is, what is happening when it kicks in, and what triggers it. She wraps up with strategies to overcome it and sends encouragement to loved ones of someone with ADHD.
If you have your own tips, stories or questions, email 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com or leave a voicemail for Amy (and/or Kat) by calling 877-207-2077.
HOST:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Kay cast up thing little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful for
that for a little more. Family's exciting. Course said e K,
you're kicking with four Thing with Amy Brown. Happy Thursday.
(00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and we're going to dive into
something that was brought to my attention by one of you,
ADHD paralysis. So after hearing me talk about my inability
to fully clear hundreds of text messages and thousands of
emails from my phone on the Bobby Bone Show, I
got an email in my four Things inbox from a
(00:54):
listener named Pauli. Here's what she wrote. Hey, Amy, I
heard you say last week that you can't make yourself
clear out your emails or texts. Check out articles about
ADHD paralysis. It's a real thing, and I think that
is your problem. I have the same issue and heard
about the paralysis on TikTok a couple of months ago.
It answered a lot for me. Love the show, Pollie,
(01:16):
thank you for that email. Polly. I was diagnosed with
ADHD in college over twenty years ago and it's been
a journey ever since. And after I got Polly's email,
I did a deep dive on ADHD paralysis and maybe
you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. But if you're
someone who often feels stuck when trying to start tasks,
(01:41):
you feel overwhelmed by the number of things that you
have to do, or you feel like you're frozen even
when you really really want to get things done, well,
this episode is for you. And I love to tell
y'all all the time, So if you're new here, I'll
just say it for you. I am not an expert
at all, and I don't ever want to come off
(02:02):
as such. I'm just a curious person that can share
my own experiences and what I've gathered for myself so
that you can also get curious and then see what
you can do for yourself and see if ADHD paralysis
might be what's going on with you as well, or
a loved one in your life, a child, a roommate,
(02:24):
a spouse, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a coworker. So let's
get started by breaking down what it really is now.
ADHD paralysis is not just procrastination. I feel like sometimes
I think, Gosh, why am I such a procrastinator? It's
not about just that, It's not about being lazy or disorganized. Again,
(02:45):
I have those thoughts about myself at times, but it
is a feeling of being totally stuck, like your brain
just won't let you start even though you really want to.
For example, sometimes I'll be looking at my to do
list or thinking about all the things that I need
to get done, but my brain is just not cooperating.
(03:07):
It's like I'm ready to drive, but I just can't
seem to even turn the car on, which is so frustrating.
ADHD impacts executive function, which is often and very appropriately
referred to as our brain's CEO. Now, executive function is
us getting things done. And when I'm in the flow,
(03:30):
I feel like I'm knocking things out on my to
do list left and right, and that's my executive function.
It's doing its thing. And some people just have that naturally.
And when I'm in that flow, I'm like, is this
how some people are just all day naturally? And what
I like to do is call them quote unquote normal people.
But what is normal? And then I don't want to
be abnormal because of my ADHD? But this is what
(03:52):
we do to ourselves. But that's a whole other conversation.
And more often than not because of my ADHD, my
executive function, my CEO is out of the office. Oh
oh oh, and that's paralysis. And during my research, I googled,
why can't I just push through and do what I
(04:14):
need to do? I googled that because when I have
awareness and I know I need to do it, why
am I stuck? They're frozen and I'm not doing it. Well,
it turns out there are a few things going on
in our brains when ADHD paralysis kicks in. First off,
those of us with ADHD have a hard time regulating motivation.
(04:34):
Now that's not to say that we aren't motivated, it's
just that the brain struggles to generate that motivation on demand.
Like I said, I was even googling it. Why can't
I just push through and do what I need to
do when I'm aware and I know I need to
do it. Well, it's that whole on demand thing. Like
I said, with the car, it's like I'm in my
(04:54):
car ready to go and I just can't turn the key.
Then there's and fatigue. Our brains can get overwhelmed by
the number of decisions that we need to make in
a day. When you're staring at a long to do list,
it's like your brain just shorts out at least mind does.
We don't know where to start. We just don't start
(05:17):
at all because of that. It's a defense mechanism where
your brain is just like, nope, too much, I'm out now.
When I was married, my husband been he used to
try to help me with my lists, and he would
make them every day for himself, and he would put
a little number by them, like he'd write everything out
just as it came to his mind, but then he
(05:37):
would prioritize them by number, so the one might be
at the bottom, the two might be in the middle.
It's not like he wrote it out in order. But
then he would start to tackle them by number and
just cross them off as he did it, and he
would knock his list out by the end of the day.
It just looked awesome. Meanwhile, I'd be on like my
fifth list of the day with a new order and
(05:59):
new things on it, accomplishing some things, but not things
that were a priority at all. And he was always
perplexed by this. He would try to help me with
his system and teach me his ways, but his brain,
his executive function, his CEO, was operating differently, trying to
(06:20):
decide what number to put next to the things like
that just wasn't going to work for me. That was
another decision that I had to make and would add
to my decision fatigue. And then there's the pressure. I mean, gosh,
the more urgent or important something feels, the more likely
I am to freeze up, which makes zero sense because
(06:42):
you think, if this is urgent, we need to get
it done, which when I'm down to the wire, wire wire,
you can bet I'd get it done. But then I
lose sleep over that. You would think I would at
least get down to the wire the night before and
not lose sleep from it. And you'd think I'd be
motivated by deadlines and pressure, But our brains get overloaded
(07:02):
and that just makes it harder to begin. Does any
of this sound familiar to any of you? Have you
ever had so much to do that you ended up
doing nothing at all? Because that's what we're talking about here,
and I can relate all too well. And when I
got curious about what triggers the paralysis, I found out
(07:22):
some information from Attitude magazine, which Attitude is ADD all
caps for ADD. It's a great resource by the way,
you should check it out because I'm like, sometimes my
executive function is good to go and then other times
it's just not. So what triggers it will overwhelm is
a huge trigger. Like imagine walking into a cluttered room
(07:47):
with stuff just piled everywhere and someone asks you to
clean it up. Well, where do you even start. That's
the feeling of overwhelm. Whether it's a messy room, a
chaotic schedule, a wonky to do list with like one
hundred things on there that you need to do. Overwhelm
can trigger the paralysis. But then sometimes you'll be able
(08:09):
to do it. It may take weeks, and then once
you've done it, you feel so accomplished, but then the
paralysis will kick back in another time and then you
look back and you're like, ah, what happened to the
day that I was able to get everything done? I
want to go back to that version of me. But
you've got to give yourself some grace. I'm going to
give you some strategies here in a minute that you
(08:30):
can implement that may help you out. So don't beat
yourself up. I just had that example for myself, like
that exact thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago,
I was taking care of business, and just yesterday I
said out loud, like, where is that version of me?
Why can't she show up right now? And what I
got to do is I got to implement some of
the strategies. I'll tell you those in a minute. Because
(08:52):
another trigger that I want to get to is perfectionism. Now,
I don't think this one is a trigger for me,
but a lot of people with eighty eight struggle with perfectionism. Now,
if this is you, you might think, if I can't
do this perfectly, I'm not going to do it at all.
It's this all or nothing mentality that freezes some people
in place, so instead of tackling the task, they just
(09:15):
simply don't do it. Another trigger is fear of failure. Now,
we might be scared of messing up or the task
not turning out the way we want it to, and
that fear of failure can be enough to stop us
from even trying in the first place. Back to the
overwhelm trigger. Something that just popped into my head because overwhelmed.
The example was a messy room and someone saying, hey,
(09:38):
where are you going to start to clean this up?
I saw this hang on Instagram the other day about
floor drobes. I had never heard of this before. I
saw this hang on Instagram the other day about floor
(10:00):
I had never heard of this before. But if you
ever delay putting away clean laundry or maybe clothes you've
tried on that you didn't wear, and then you just
start to pile them up, like on a chair on
the floor for days on end, Well, these piles they
have a name, and it's floordrobe. A floor drobe is
a place typically on the floor that we leave clean
(10:22):
or not quite dirty clothes. And I get all kinds
of ADHD content in my algorithm now, and when floordrobe
showed up, I was like, oh my gosh, that is me.
And I looked round my room and all my different
little floordrobe piles. And I am someone that loves laundry,
(10:42):
I really do. But then it turns into floor drobe
because I don't think I necessarily love putting the clothes away.
Always get distracted, And now I know why. I looked
up something real quick just now about floor drobes. And
this is from Billie Roberts, a therapist at Focused Mind
ADHD Counseling in Columbus, Ohio. He said, when faced with
(11:03):
a task that is boring, the ADHD brain gets overwhelmed
and starts craving more interesting tasks. Tedious chores like laundry
tend to be particularly frustrating because they can pile up,
leading many with ADHD to feel incredibly overwhelmed and to
further avoid the task. Now, I'm sure people without ADHD
(11:24):
have floor drobes, but I think it's just more common
if you have ADHD. And again, I just like knowing
why something is happening. I like knowing also how I
can fix it, which leads me to the strategies that
I have for you. And these strategies are pretty good.
Some maybe you know, some you don't, maybe you just
(11:45):
need a refresher. But if you suffer from ADHD paralysis,
you definitely will benefit from one of these strategies, or
maybe all of them. I feel like I might need
to implement like a new one each day to get
all my stuff done. And what's fun is there are
four strategies, which is very fitting because it's the Four
(12:05):
Things podcast. First thing, break tasks down. You just break
them down into smaller, manageable steps. Now this sounds so simple,
but trust me, this is something that works. Instead of
saying clean the house, we'll break it down to clean
the kitchen counter, put away laundry, and just you don't
(12:27):
end up with a floor drobe. Maybe put away this pile,
put away genes, and then later you can put away shirts,
vacuum one room. The idea is to make the task
feel less overwhelming. This will really help your brain. I
know it's simple, but it helps. It seems very elementary
(12:47):
and like you're having to talk to yourself like a child,
but when your executive function is out on vacation, it
needs a talking to like a child. Second thing, the
Pomodoro technique. Have you heard of this one? I feel
like I've talked about it on the podcast before, but
it's basically working in short bursts, usually twenty five minutes
of focused work and then that's followed by a five
(13:09):
minute break. And what this does is it tricks your
brain into thinking like, oh, I only have twenty five
minutes of work to do, no big deal, And once
you get started, it's easier to keep going. Third thing,
using timer's and external accountability. Sometimes just knowing that someone
(13:30):
else is counting on you is enough to get you moving,
whether you know it's a friend, a family member, coworker,
having someone check in that can help you break the paralysis.
And also with the timer thing, I mean that's back
to the Palmodoro effact, Like you could set a timer
for twenty five minutes, but you know, we talk about
(13:50):
the ten minute pus on the podcast A lot. I
learned that from my sister. You set a timer for
ten minutes and you just clean as much as you
can and that ten minutes, try to get as much
done as possible, and a lot of times when the
timer goes off, you're motivated. You keep going. You see progress.
Your brain's like, oh this looks good, you might as
well keep going. And who knows, you even clean for
(14:12):
fifteen minutes, which is better than zero, and when you're
in ADHD paralysis, you're getting zero done. Fourth thing, change
your environment. If your workspace or home is cluttered or
full of distractions, clear it out. Even moving to a
different room or a new spot can help reframe your
(14:33):
mind and make it easier to start something. So there
you go, break down tasks Pomodoro technique, use timers and
external accountability, and change your environment. But remember changing environment
doesn't have to be anything drastic. It can just be
simply getting up and going to another room. It doesn't
(14:53):
mean you have to leave your house and go to
another location. And something that just popped into my head
that is a strategy that it works for me, and
I don't know why I didn't think of it until now,
but it's the body doubling. It actually came up with
Kat and I on a Fifth Thing episode recently, so
I guess I'll throw it in the fifth strategy. We'll
out of here, the bonus strategy, just like the Bonus episode,
(15:15):
but body doubling, that's when you have another person just
in the room with you while you're trying to accomplish
a task, and the idea behind it working is just
having someone there increases your motivation. It's that simple, and
personally for me, body doubling works really really well. I
(15:36):
was researching for this episode and that never came up,
but it just popped in my head right now, and
I'm glad that it did because it's just such a
good one for me, and maybe it's good for you.
And it sounds tricky because you think that body doubling
means that the other person has to be doing the
same task as you in order for you to be
doing it. But all that you need from your body
double is for them to be in the room. If
(15:58):
they're helping with the task, you're doing the same thing
being sure, that's amazing, but they just have to be
in the room. Now, for those of you listening who
might not personally deal with ADHD paralysis, but maybe someone
that you love does, I'm gonna speak to you for
a second because I mentioned Ben's confusion with my ability
(16:20):
to tackle a to do list at times, and I
don't blame him. It can be hard to understand why
someone gets stuck or frozen in tasks, especially when you
know that they want to do them, but being patient
and offering support in a non judgmental way can make
a huge difference. Now, I'm not implying that Ben wasn't
(16:43):
patient with me or he was judgmental. I just don't
think that we had the tools, or the knowledge or
the resource to really help each other. Gosh, if I
had known about body doubling back then, I would have
been like, Hey, just sit here with me while I
try to do this and I'll get it done. He
was a supportive husband. I just mentioned him as an
(17:03):
example because of the to do list earlier. It's actually
not attached to being judgmental or not supportive at all whatsoever.
I'm just suggesting that if you have someone in your life,
be patient with them and create some accountability. Maybe they
just need someone to help them break down the tasks
into smaller pieces, and I think that's what Ben was
(17:25):
trying to help me do. But his technique wasn't going
to work for me because it was overwhelming, and being
overwhelmed is a trigger of the paralysis. So for everyone listening,
don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it's from friends, family,
or even a therapist. There's no shame in needing support.
(17:47):
If your CEO ISO And to wrap this all up,
ADHD paralysis is real. Don't let anyone tell you otherwhy.
It is something that a lot of us deal with.
But there are ways to manage it and there are
ways to push through it. And just know that if
this is something that you're struggling with, you are not alone.
(18:10):
Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to take
things one small step at a time. How do you
eat an elephant one bite at a time, and remember
sometimes starting is the hardest part, but once you get going,
you've already won half the battle. I hope you found
(18:30):
some of these strategies helpful. If you have your own tips,
your own stories, questions, feel free to share them with me.
I love hearing from you four Things with Amy Brown
at gmail dot com, or you can leave a voicemail
eight seven seven two oh seven two oh seven seven,
And if you know someone who might benefit from this episode,
(18:51):
you can share it with them. Hope y'all are having
the day that you need to have on socials. I'm
at Radio Amy. There's going to be a new Outweigh
episode on Saturday with Leanne and a new Fifth Thing
with Kat on Tuesday. Talk to you then,
Kay cast up thing little food for yourself life. Oh
it's pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful than beautiful for
that for a little more. Family's exciting. Course said e K,
you're kicking with four Thing with Amy Brown. Happy Thursday.
(00:33):
Four Things Amy here, and we're going to dive into
something that was brought to my attention by one of you,
ADHD paralysis. So after hearing me talk about my inability
to fully clear hundreds of text messages and thousands of
emails from my phone on the Bobby Bone Show, I
got an email in my four Things inbox from a
(00:54):
listener named Pauli. Here's what she wrote. Hey, Amy, I
heard you say last week that you can't make yourself
clear out your emails or texts. Check out articles about
ADHD paralysis. It's a real thing, and I think that
is your problem. I have the same issue and heard
about the paralysis on TikTok a couple of months ago.
It answered a lot for me. Love the show, Pollie,
(01:16):
thank you for that email. Polly. I was diagnosed with
ADHD in college over twenty years ago and it's been
a journey ever since. And after I got Polly's email,
I did a deep dive on ADHD paralysis and maybe
you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. But if you're
someone who often feels stuck when trying to start tasks,
(01:41):
you feel overwhelmed by the number of things that you
have to do, or you feel like you're frozen even
when you really really want to get things done, well,
this episode is for you. And I love to tell
y'all all the time, So if you're new here, I'll
just say it for you. I am not an expert
at all, and I don't ever want to come off
(02:02):
as such. I'm just a curious person that can share
my own experiences and what I've gathered for myself so
that you can also get curious and then see what
you can do for yourself and see if ADHD paralysis
might be what's going on with you as well, or
a loved one in your life, a child, a roommate,
(02:24):
a spouse, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a coworker. So let's
get started by breaking down what it really is now.
ADHD paralysis is not just procrastination. I feel like sometimes
I think, Gosh, why am I such a procrastinator? It's
not about just that, It's not about being lazy or disorganized. Again,
(02:45):
I have those thoughts about myself at times, but it
is a feeling of being totally stuck, like your brain
just won't let you start even though you really want to.
For example, sometimes I'll be looking at my to do
list or thinking about all the things that I need
to get done, but my brain is just not cooperating.
(03:07):
It's like I'm ready to drive, but I just can't
seem to even turn the car on, which is so frustrating.
ADHD impacts executive function, which is often and very appropriately
referred to as our brain's CEO. Now, executive function is
us getting things done. And when I'm in the flow,
(03:30):
I feel like I'm knocking things out on my to
do list left and right, and that's my executive function.
It's doing its thing. And some people just have that naturally.
And when I'm in that flow, I'm like, is this
how some people are just all day naturally? And what
I like to do is call them quote unquote normal people.
But what is normal? And then I don't want to
be abnormal because of my ADHD? But this is what
(03:52):
we do to ourselves. But that's a whole other conversation.
And more often than not because of my ADHD, my
executive function, my CEO is out of the office. Oh
oh oh, and that's paralysis. And during my research, I googled,
why can't I just push through and do what I
(04:14):
need to do? I googled that because when I have
awareness and I know I need to do it, why
am I stuck? They're frozen and I'm not doing it. Well,
it turns out there are a few things going on
in our brains when ADHD paralysis kicks in. First off,
those of us with ADHD have a hard time regulating motivation.
(04:34):
Now that's not to say that we aren't motivated, it's
just that the brain struggles to generate that motivation on demand.
Like I said, I was even googling it. Why can't
I just push through and do what I need to
do when I'm aware and I know I need to
do it. Well, it's that whole on demand thing. Like
I said, with the car, it's like I'm in my
(04:54):
car ready to go and I just can't turn the key.
Then there's and fatigue. Our brains can get overwhelmed by
the number of decisions that we need to make in
a day. When you're staring at a long to do list,
it's like your brain just shorts out at least mind does.
We don't know where to start. We just don't start
(05:17):
at all because of that. It's a defense mechanism where
your brain is just like, nope, too much, I'm out now.
When I was married, my husband been he used to
try to help me with my lists, and he would
make them every day for himself, and he would put
a little number by them, like he'd write everything out
just as it came to his mind, but then he
(05:37):
would prioritize them by number, so the one might be
at the bottom, the two might be in the middle.
It's not like he wrote it out in order. But
then he would start to tackle them by number and
just cross them off as he did it, and he
would knock his list out by the end of the day.
It just looked awesome. Meanwhile, I'd be on like my
fifth list of the day with a new order and
(05:59):
new things on it, accomplishing some things, but not things
that were a priority at all. And he was always
perplexed by this. He would try to help me with
his system and teach me his ways, but his brain,
his executive function, his CEO, was operating differently, trying to
(06:20):
decide what number to put next to the things like
that just wasn't going to work for me. That was
another decision that I had to make and would add
to my decision fatigue. And then there's the pressure. I mean, gosh,
the more urgent or important something feels, the more likely
I am to freeze up, which makes zero sense because
(06:42):
you think, if this is urgent, we need to get
it done, which when I'm down to the wire, wire wire,
you can bet I'd get it done. But then I
lose sleep over that. You would think I would at
least get down to the wire the night before and
not lose sleep from it. And you'd think I'd be
motivated by deadlines and pressure, But our brains get overloaded
(07:02):
and that just makes it harder to begin. Does any
of this sound familiar to any of you? Have you
ever had so much to do that you ended up
doing nothing at all? Because that's what we're talking about here,
and I can relate all too well. And when I
got curious about what triggers the paralysis, I found out
(07:22):
some information from Attitude magazine, which Attitude is ADD all
caps for ADD. It's a great resource by the way,
you should check it out because I'm like, sometimes my
executive function is good to go and then other times
it's just not. So what triggers it will overwhelm is
a huge trigger. Like imagine walking into a cluttered room
(07:47):
with stuff just piled everywhere and someone asks you to
clean it up. Well, where do you even start. That's
the feeling of overwhelm. Whether it's a messy room, a
chaotic schedule, a wonky to do list with like one
hundred things on there that you need to do. Overwhelm
can trigger the paralysis. But then sometimes you'll be able
(08:09):
to do it. It may take weeks, and then once
you've done it, you feel so accomplished, but then the
paralysis will kick back in another time and then you
look back and you're like, ah, what happened to the
day that I was able to get everything done? I
want to go back to that version of me. But
you've got to give yourself some grace. I'm going to
give you some strategies here in a minute that you
(08:30):
can implement that may help you out. So don't beat
yourself up. I just had that example for myself, like
that exact thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago,
I was taking care of business, and just yesterday I
said out loud, like, where is that version of me?
Why can't she show up right now? And what I
got to do is I got to implement some of
the strategies. I'll tell you those in a minute. Because
(08:52):
another trigger that I want to get to is perfectionism. Now,
I don't think this one is a trigger for me,
but a lot of people with eighty eight struggle with perfectionism. Now,
if this is you, you might think, if I can't
do this perfectly, I'm not going to do it at all.
It's this all or nothing mentality that freezes some people
in place, so instead of tackling the task, they just
(09:15):
simply don't do it. Another trigger is fear of failure. Now,
we might be scared of messing up or the task
not turning out the way we want it to, and
that fear of failure can be enough to stop us
from even trying in the first place. Back to the
overwhelm trigger. Something that just popped into my head because overwhelmed.
The example was a messy room and someone saying, hey,
(09:38):
where are you going to start to clean this up?
I saw this hang on Instagram the other day about
floor drobes. I had never heard of this before. I
saw this hang on Instagram the other day about floor
(10:00):
I had never heard of this before. But if you
ever delay putting away clean laundry or maybe clothes you've
tried on that you didn't wear, and then you just
start to pile them up, like on a chair on
the floor for days on end, Well, these piles they
have a name, and it's floordrobe. A floor drobe is
a place typically on the floor that we leave clean
(10:22):
or not quite dirty clothes. And I get all kinds
of ADHD content in my algorithm now, and when floordrobe
showed up, I was like, oh my gosh, that is me.
And I looked round my room and all my different
little floordrobe piles. And I am someone that loves laundry,
(10:42):
I really do. But then it turns into floor drobe
because I don't think I necessarily love putting the clothes away.
Always get distracted, And now I know why. I looked
up something real quick just now about floor drobes. And
this is from Billie Roberts, a therapist at Focused Mind
ADHD Counseling in Columbus, Ohio. He said, when faced with
(11:03):
a task that is boring, the ADHD brain gets overwhelmed
and starts craving more interesting tasks. Tedious chores like laundry
tend to be particularly frustrating because they can pile up,
leading many with ADHD to feel incredibly overwhelmed and to
further avoid the task. Now, I'm sure people without ADHD
(11:24):
have floor drobes, but I think it's just more common
if you have ADHD. And again, I just like knowing
why something is happening. I like knowing also how I
can fix it, which leads me to the strategies that
I have for you. And these strategies are pretty good.
Some maybe you know, some you don't, maybe you just
(11:45):
need a refresher. But if you suffer from ADHD paralysis,
you definitely will benefit from one of these strategies, or
maybe all of them. I feel like I might need
to implement like a new one each day to get
all my stuff done. And what's fun is there are
four strategies, which is very fitting because it's the Four
(12:05):
Things podcast. First thing, break tasks down. You just break
them down into smaller, manageable steps. Now this sounds so simple,
but trust me, this is something that works. Instead of
saying clean the house, we'll break it down to clean
the kitchen counter, put away laundry, and just you don't
(12:27):
end up with a floor drobe. Maybe put away this pile,
put away genes, and then later you can put away shirts,
vacuum one room. The idea is to make the task
feel less overwhelming. This will really help your brain. I
know it's simple, but it helps. It seems very elementary
(12:47):
and like you're having to talk to yourself like a child,
but when your executive function is out on vacation, it
needs a talking to like a child. Second thing, the
Pomodoro technique. Have you heard of this one? I feel
like I've talked about it on the podcast before, but
it's basically working in short bursts, usually twenty five minutes
of focused work and then that's followed by a five
(13:09):
minute break. And what this does is it tricks your
brain into thinking like, oh, I only have twenty five
minutes of work to do, no big deal, And once
you get started, it's easier to keep going. Third thing,
using timer's and external accountability. Sometimes just knowing that someone
(13:30):
else is counting on you is enough to get you moving,
whether you know it's a friend, a family member, coworker,
having someone check in that can help you break the paralysis.
And also with the timer thing, I mean that's back
to the Palmodoro effact, Like you could set a timer
for twenty five minutes, but you know, we talk about
(13:50):
the ten minute pus on the podcast A lot. I
learned that from my sister. You set a timer for
ten minutes and you just clean as much as you
can and that ten minutes, try to get as much
done as possible, and a lot of times when the
timer goes off, you're motivated. You keep going. You see progress.
Your brain's like, oh this looks good, you might as
well keep going. And who knows, you even clean for
(14:12):
fifteen minutes, which is better than zero, and when you're
in ADHD paralysis, you're getting zero done. Fourth thing, change
your environment. If your workspace or home is cluttered or
full of distractions, clear it out. Even moving to a
different room or a new spot can help reframe your
(14:33):
mind and make it easier to start something. So there
you go, break down tasks Pomodoro technique, use timers and
external accountability, and change your environment. But remember changing environment
doesn't have to be anything drastic. It can just be
simply getting up and going to another room. It doesn't
(14:53):
mean you have to leave your house and go to
another location. And something that just popped into my head
that is a strategy that it works for me, and
I don't know why I didn't think of it until now,
but it's the body doubling. It actually came up with
Kat and I on a Fifth Thing episode recently, so
I guess I'll throw it in the fifth strategy. We'll
out of here, the bonus strategy, just like the Bonus episode,
(15:15):
but body doubling, that's when you have another person just
in the room with you while you're trying to accomplish
a task, and the idea behind it working is just
having someone there increases your motivation. It's that simple, and
personally for me, body doubling works really really well. I
(15:36):
was researching for this episode and that never came up,
but it just popped in my head right now, and
I'm glad that it did because it's just such a
good one for me, and maybe it's good for you.
And it sounds tricky because you think that body doubling
means that the other person has to be doing the
same task as you in order for you to be
doing it. But all that you need from your body
double is for them to be in the room. If
(15:58):
they're helping with the task, you're doing the same thing
being sure, that's amazing, but they just have to be
in the room. Now, for those of you listening who
might not personally deal with ADHD paralysis, but maybe someone
that you love does, I'm gonna speak to you for
a second because I mentioned Ben's confusion with my ability
(16:20):
to tackle a to do list at times, and I
don't blame him. It can be hard to understand why
someone gets stuck or frozen in tasks, especially when you
know that they want to do them, but being patient
and offering support in a non judgmental way can make
a huge difference. Now, I'm not implying that Ben wasn't
(16:43):
patient with me or he was judgmental. I just don't
think that we had the tools, or the knowledge or
the resource to really help each other. Gosh, if I
had known about body doubling back then, I would have
been like, Hey, just sit here with me while I
try to do this and I'll get it done. He
was a supportive husband. I just mentioned him as an
(17:03):
example because of the to do list earlier. It's actually
not attached to being judgmental or not supportive at all whatsoever.
I'm just suggesting that if you have someone in your life,
be patient with them and create some accountability. Maybe they
just need someone to help them break down the tasks
into smaller pieces, and I think that's what Ben was
(17:25):
trying to help me do. But his technique wasn't going
to work for me because it was overwhelming, and being
overwhelmed is a trigger of the paralysis. So for everyone listening,
don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it's from friends, family,
or even a therapist. There's no shame in needing support.
(17:47):
If your CEO ISO And to wrap this all up,
ADHD paralysis is real. Don't let anyone tell you otherwhy.
It is something that a lot of us deal with.
But there are ways to manage it and there are
ways to push through it. And just know that if
this is something that you're struggling with, you are not alone.
(18:10):
Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to take
things one small step at a time. How do you
eat an elephant one bite at a time, and remember
sometimes starting is the hardest part, but once you get going,
you've already won half the battle. I hope you found
(18:30):
some of these strategies helpful. If you have your own tips,
your own stories, questions, feel free to share them with me.
I love hearing from you four Things with Amy Brown
at gmail dot com, or you can leave a voicemail
eight seven seven two oh seven two oh seven seven,
And if you know someone who might benefit from this episode,
(18:51):
you can share it with them. Hope y'all are having
the day that you need to have on socials. I'm
at Radio Amy. There's going to be a new Outweigh
episode on Saturday with Leanne and a new Fifth Thing
with Kat on Tuesday. Talk to you then,
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Host
Amy Brown
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