Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and today's quote comes from I saw it
on Instagram and I took a screenshot. I think Charlotne
and the God put it up. But it's from like
a healing trauma account. It says you can be healing
and feel broken at the same time. Healing isn't a
destination we reach where we are perfect and at peace
(00:26):
all the time. Healing is a journey that involves accepting
and embracing ourselves as we break, as we heal, and
as we reconstruct.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
No. I love that I have emails we can read
if you want to. This one is from Mackenzie Hey,
Amy and Kat. I'm a longtime BBS fan, a regular
Sore Losers podcast listener, and now a four Things you
Need Therapy STAN. Do you know what a stan is? Yeah? Okay,
well some people won't listen, may not know, and it
(00:56):
is a fan like a big time fus like I
posted a picture of Stevenson in his football uniform because
it was the cutest picture ever from his team photos
and I just put dead and someone in our that
knows our family was very concerned and didn't understand.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Dead, you know, like they thought you were like I.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Seeing his death.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
I don't for my death.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
I don't know, so I just thought, well, maybe there's
some listeners that don't know what stand is all right,
back to the email, I, along with so many others,
were truly given a gift from the Donald Miller episode.
I can't tell you how many times I've said to
myself and to others, what is this preparing me for?
And what does this make possible?
Speaker 3 (01:39):
So good?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
But I was also just listening to Katz five Myths
about Friendship episode, and I have been convicted of my
people pleasing tendencies and my relationships. Being honest with people
in my life and setting boundaries when I need them
has always been something I hate doing because the fear
of disappointing them or someone thinking I'm just the rudest
person in the life was debilitating to me. I've got
(02:02):
some family drama going on right now, and there was
nothing I wanted to do less than to have some
of them come to my home. I didn't want to
ignore the messages or be a jerk, but I also
didn't want to give in to the pattern that we
have as a family. I ended up extending my gratitude
that they were thinking of us, but I laid a
(02:23):
firm boundary. I'm not comfortable getting together right now, but
I would be happy to get together in a few
months when everything calms down. After I hit Sinned, it
was like a ton of bricks lifted off my shoulders.
I felt lighter, I felt empowered. I literally looked up
and thanked God and audibly said thank you for giving
me this opportunity to heal. It may sound silly to
(02:45):
some people, but that one small moment felt like the
start of regaining the control of my life on my terms.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
All that to say.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Thank you for doing what you two have obviously been
called to do. I'm sure there are days that you
wonder why you're doing this, but you really are helping,
whether we share it with you or not. Hugs from
Ohio your friend McKenzie, what I love that. Okay, So
tell us about this episode you put up about like
the five myths about friendship.
Speaker 4 (03:13):
I did that with a old colleague. Her name's Blake,
and she's the one that came up with the friendship deck.
We did the episode where we went through on the
fifth thing. We went through the friendship check in and
then did the questions. That's what she specializes in now,
which is so cool, I think, because how I'm like,
I specialize in eating disorders and body image. She specializes
in friendship and helping people cultivate like healthy friendships and
(03:35):
help people like actually find the friendships that they want.
So she came in and she talked about like the
five biggest myths that she sees day to day with people,
and they are things that like, or they were for me,
things that we were taught were that's the way it is.
Like one of them was like, your friends should last
last your entire life, and sometimes that's not true. Like
(03:55):
that's really awesome to have a best friend from when
you were like two, But I've changed a lot since
I was too, and so my friends have changed too,
And I think sometimes we try to hold on to
friendships when they aren't serving us. So I think that
email was really cool how she said to I don't
know how she worded it, but it might sound like
small or silly to somebody sending that text. That might
(04:17):
seem minuscule, But to me, those little things are like
the really big things that hey, I can just send
this message that isn't that big of a like a message,
Like it's two sentences. I can send it really quick.
It's not this long, drown out like monologue. But it
makes the biggest difference in how I feel and how
I actually go about my relationships and how I feel
(04:38):
in my relationships.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
So I'm very proud of her.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I know, very proud of her too, because I know
sending something like that is not hashy.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
At all, but it doesn't where you do it.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
You're going to see how you feel after it's done,
and you're gonna learn along the way. For anybody else
that's you know, listening, I have messed up so much
trying to adopt new ways of doing things and having
some hard talks, and I've literally messed up.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You're going, and then that weighs on me because.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I'm like, but then I have to back up and say, okay,
but it at least I'm trying and that I'm making progress. Yeah,
sort of like you were talking about, like I'm climbing
out of that hole. Yeah, it's not that as long
as you're headed in that direction, and sometimes you might
take two steps back, but that's okay, Like keep going
(05:26):
forward with it. Don't give up because sometimes I look
back on how I've handled certain things and I'm like, well,
that did not go as it should have, or I
could have done better, I could have done this, So
I might as well just give up on having these
hard conversations because but okay, I'm just saying that that
into my head a hundred percent, And I think.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
That's important because I think a lot of people probably
feel that, like if I because You're right, these conversations
me as a therapist who like studies this stuff and
does it day in and day out in my own life,
Like I can say things wrong and I can use
the wrong tone, or I can look back and be like, oh,
I wasn't the best time to have that conversation. And
(06:03):
the people that are healthy and the people that love
me and care about me the most also offered me
amount of grace to be able to learn from that stuff.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Right Yeah, So, like I can't think of an example
right now, but.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
If I were to do something with you and then
I was like, oh that kind of was like a
crap move, I feel really bad and guilty and all
of that. I feel like I could come to you
and say like, hey, I hurt you and I'm sorry
and like, will you give me another chance? And I
don't think I'm gonna be like waiting on pins and
needles to hear your answer.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
I think you're gonna be like yeah, like of course.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
But that's because that's a relationship with both both people
are giving grace and working on themselves and also allowing
grace for other people.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah. You know, sometimes you might have a conversation where
someone isn't working and you're not met with that, and
then it gets a little more difficult, But that's when
you have to just know you did the best thing
for yourself and how you felt once the message went out.
Because boundaries, which isn't basically kind of what we're talking about,
are you know? What's it saying like the only people
(07:04):
that don't like your boundaries are those that are affected
by them or that don't understand.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
From you not having them. There you go, yeah it,
yeah say that. I say that.
Speaker 4 (07:12):
The thing the only people who get upset when you
start to set boundaries are the people that benefit from
you not having any.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (07:19):
But the other thing is like I can not to
like knock this because I do believe that's true. But
like I can be upset with you about setting boundaries,
but it's my responsibility as somebody who loves and cares
about you to then work on that internally because I
know that you're doing what's best for you, right, like
I might not like it, Like dang, I can't do
this anymore because Amy set this boundary and that really
(07:40):
worked for me, and that is my responsibility, not your responsibility,
right you know. Okay, yeah, so but I think that
goes into this idea that the myths of friendships of
like once a friend always has to be a friend,
and like sometimes once a friend and then we both
learn things about ourselves and we can still care about
each other, but that might not be my BFF anymore,
(08:00):
right Does that make yeah sense? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah no, And this isn't I mean, we're talking friendship
right now, but there could be boundaries that need to
be set in all kinds of relationships. Or this case
was the family, but she was able to apply from
your friendship episode something she needed to incorporate with her
family and the drama that's going on there. But yeah,
so friendship deck that was a fun thing too. So
that's something that y'all could order if you want to. Yeah,
(08:25):
it was fun have It's just called the Friendship Deck, right.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
I pulled up the email she'd sent me originally, I
can tell you what the five things are.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So I people want to go, oh, yeah, episode.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Go to you need therapy podcast to find this episode?
But yeah, what are the five things?
Speaker 4 (08:38):
The five myths that we talked about. One was the
more friends the marrier. Two friendships should always feel easy breezy,
three good friends don't fight, four best friends are always forever,
and five friendship endings aren't helpful.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I have not listened to that, so I might it
was fine, go do it. I have another email from Suzanne. Hey, Amy,
First off, I'd like to say love the Four Things podcast.
I was listening to an episode months ago and heard
(09:17):
you talk about a girl named Megan that microL bladed
your brows. I tried to find her in the show notes,
but I wasn't able to. Does she have an Instagram?
Would love to have my brows done by her. Yours
look amazing, by the way, Thanks so much, Suzanne. Which
cat fun fact? Have you said this?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah? She's mine?
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, okay, I don't know if that was public, and
she just did my sisters too.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
No way, there's like nothing better than a fresh brow.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Does, like, as long as you're going to the right person,
because I had a catastrophic event with my brows the
first go round. So I say this to anyone listening,
make sure you vet the person's work very thoroughly and honestly.
I did, though, you know I did.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
I was a good person you went to. I got
a lot of recommendations for that person.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Same same and I guess you know, you catch people
on a bad day.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Yeah, but then they were so was.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I still have red, Like my browser still messed up
from it, even though Megan fixed them as best as
she could. So you know what, though, this is finding
the rainbow in the in the rainstorm, to paraphrase Dolly. No,
this is how my brain works. But Crew has these
sunglasses called the Dolly and they are so cute.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Yes, those were you got? Oh you got yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Crew, k R E W E and the type of
glasses called the Dolly and they're amazing. I waited weeks
and weeks and weeks till I let myself finally buy
them because like, I don't need them. I don't need
them in them. One day, I was like, Okay, I
do need them, so I got them, and they're so cute.
I get compliments on them all the time. So that's
my side. Note how my brain just how did you
(11:00):
get to because the quote the rainbow after the rain, Yeah, Dolly,
and she has a puzzle about that. And then now
my brain is like, oh and we also have a
four things puzzle four things dot com to get your
I'm fine, it's fine, everything's fine, puzzled, it's so cute,
and my dog, car and Maggie are on it. And
then now I have thoughts about my dog and my cat. See,
but I can eventually get back to where I was going, which.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Was I'm gonna let you just naturally finding.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
The rainbow in the storm with my brows. Was that
from that tragic event on my face, I was able
to meet Carrie, who is the Nashville beauty girl because
she's the one that lasered them off. And I was
able to meet Megan. So how it went was I
went to Meghan at first because I saw I think
(11:45):
Kelsey Ballerini post about her or something, so then I
just DMed her and then I got an appointment with her,
and she checked out my brows and she said, I
cannot help you until you get them lasered off. Here's
the girl you need to go to. And that's when
she gave me carries info. So and I'm at Carrie
and then look at it. I wouldn't have these relationships.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
With these people.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
And you know, Carrie got me on a skincare routine
that changed my skin, the zo products that I'm obsessed
with and all the things. So I have gratitude for
my messed up browse, even though even though as awesome
as Carrie as is a laser, there's just red, a
red undertone that cannot go. I don't know what's going
(12:27):
to take, just time. Maybe when I'm eighty. So Beauty
by Megan dot Com is her website, Suzanne to her question,
so her all of her info. You can book from
her website. I feel like giving you that is easier
than her Instagram because you'll see everything there. But yeah,
beauty by Megan and Megan is me e E G
(12:48):
E N Megan. Some people I get DMS, They're like,
I don't know, I'm trying to find Beauty by Megan
and I can't find it. And I'm like, because it's Megan.
And she also does the nipple tattooing for women that
have had to have reconstructive surgery from breast cancer and
double mistectomies, and you know how that all works. And
she is so talented. The nipples are three D they
(13:11):
look real.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
It's so cool. It is crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
She is so talented, and yeah, we love Megan. So Suzanne,
good luck with.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
That and just book it.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I know her wait list is long, but just get
on the books and before you know it, it'll be there.
Like my hair person, Leah, a lot of people want
to go to her. And I don't know if she's
taking new clients now, but probably six or seven years ago.
I just had to get on her waitlist and I
had to wait a long time, but then once I
was in, I was in. Yeah, So just get on
waitlists wherever it is, with whomever. Just get on there
(13:43):
and then at least you're on it, and then you
never know what will happen from there. Shout out Leah.
She opened up her own salons.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Called the Beauty School. Where is that?
Speaker 2 (13:52):
It is?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Me on Charlotte across from five points in West Nashville.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
Wait, that's by my house.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh yeah, which we're at cast Pass right now, So
I guess we could say it's right around the corner
from here.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
Wait, it's right by five Points Pizza.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
On Charlotte, across the street, right next above Radish.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Oh okay, it's in that new little area.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah cool.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Okay, get another email from Anne. Hey, just listen to
the latest podcast and I have a couple of things
to add which side note here when she says latest podcast,
who knows? Because the emails I check them at random times,
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
But here you go.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
She said.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Many don't know that you can get HBO Max with
your AT and T Mobile account for free. They don't
advertise it. So also, I am on Verizon and I
got signed up for a new plan that's only a
little bit more per month because I added my son's
watch phone the Gizmo Watch to my account, so I
altered it a little bit and I ended up getting
(14:57):
Disney Plus and a couple of other things for free free,
And so I was able to cancel my subscription because
now I pay through it with my Verizon and its
ends up being less per month.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Okay, this not okay?
Speaker 4 (15:09):
So water bills or water People I think are a scam.
Internet is all scam too, because I think it's like, really,
you get to make up what you want. I recently
learned that I can put my phone in my internet
together and it is the same price. And I think, actually,
I could get a new phone and get like extra
stuff for free, so it's less than pay for my
(15:30):
phone bill and then the Internet service that I have.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Right that is crazy.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Now you never know like what different combos or options
are out there for you to save money. You just
have to call and ask. It makes me think of
how Dave Ramsey says that you should always ask is
that the best price you can give me? Because you
never know? At Zara and you're like, I think Ray
from the Bobby Bone Show at one point in time,
I really did it at free People once on a
(15:56):
shirt that was ripped and it was a discount, and
then I said, is that the bez rising give me?
But then Ray did it like or has done it
for years from the Bobby Bone Show, and he always
gives people that This.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Is funny because I recently, well not recently, but when
I started dating Patrick, I got him into wearing big
pe I got him into wearing Lulu Lemon and it's expensive,
so he didn't buy that much stuff and whatever. So
we were at dinner for his mom's birthday and she
said that she was like, I heard Patrick talking about
how you got him wearing this Lulu Lemon stuff, and
I've never had any. So she went into Lulu Lemon
(16:30):
and the areo that we were eating in right before dinner,
and she said she found some stuff. And she said
she found some really cute stuff on the sale rack,
which shout out they have a really good sale section
online if you would like to go to that. But
she said she went to go pay for it, and
she was like, I think she asked is there any
discounts for anything? And they said, oh, do you work
(16:50):
in healthcare? Do you work in this or do you
work in that? And she was like yeah, and so
then they gave her another discount.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Oh amazing. You should ask every time. Yeah, I'm a teacher.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Is that the best price you? Yeah? I am a
healthcare worker.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I'm a healthcare worker right, well yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Mental, I'm a mental health care worker.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
But a lot of places too.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
If you work in fitness, people don't know this, but
if you work in fitness. You can get discounts like
outdoor Voices, Lululemon, Athleta, like all those places. You can
get discounts.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
You just have to, you have to.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I could just be like, I am mental, I'm having
a bad day.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Is it the best you can give me?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
You know?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
You mentioned asking that it Czara a second ago, and
it made me think of the marine pants there.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
That I'm obsessed with.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Have them ready to return?
Speaker 1 (17:34):
I love them in the stone color, which is sort
of a khaki situation, but they're so cute and I
was wearing them so much that I ended up ordering
them in the denim color. I'm still waiting for the color.
They have tons of colors to just pick out which
ones are your faves, but I would start with the
stone color because it'll go with so much.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Which didn't I tell you people are going to ask
where your pants are from.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yes, and they're from Zara and they're the marine pant.
So if you just go to zar dot com and
type in marine, those pants will show up. All right. Well,
I hope y'all are having the day that you need
to have. Bye Bye,