April 26, 2022 • 27 mins
Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!! Instead of just one quote today…we got all kinds of fun quotes shared at the top of this episode that led to coversation! Then Amy & Kat chatted multiple emails from listeners..shout out: Donnetta, Emily & Miranda!!!
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Send emails for the 5th thing to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com with the subject "5th Thing".
MOTHER’S DAY SHOPPING TO SUPPORT HAITI:
https://www.theshopforward.com/collections/espwa
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and welcome to
the fifth Thing. Today's quote, well, I'm gonna do multiple
quotes today because before we hit record, Cat was like,
I hope our quote is lighthearted, and I was like, okay,
I need to revisit this because Cat wants to laugh
with some quotes. So I'm going to read multiple from
my favorite Instagram account, l Royo Underscore a t X.
(00:27):
It's a Mexican restaurant in Austin shout out that has
an awesome sign and when you drive by, it's always
fun to see what they put on it. But if
you don't live in Austin, you get to follow their
Instagram account and see the funny things that they put up.
So Cat will roll through some of the recent sign
that have been put up and we'll see if any
of them give you whatever feeling you're chasing right now.
(00:48):
You'll like this one. I think maybe because you're a therapist.
Best friends are basically therapist who get paid in Margarita's
I do like that one, but also, you're good annoyed
by a lot of people on social media don't think
they're all therapists. That is also true, but but that's
when people are like trying to make money off of
them doing that. That's just like, you know, being fun.
(01:11):
That doesn't bother me. It's fun and also important the
role that a best friend can play. You can share
your deepest things. Yes, I'm for it, Yes we're for that.
One of arguments start because someone hasn't name yet. Actually
I do like I agree with that. What's the latest
argument you and your boyfriend have had. We have only
(01:33):
been in one argument, and I don't even know that
I would call it an argument. But how long have
you all been together? A little over two months? So
two months. One argument is that I feel like that's
a good sign. I feel like that's really good, also
very easy going. So I don't really know what it
would actually make him upset. It's probably more about me
getting upset. Okay, I can see that. What about my
(01:56):
body is not a temple, it's a thermos for case,
So I love that. I love me somek. So that
is for sure. When you are tired at night, and
everything's funny. But when you're tired in the morning, nothing's funny.
Think about that one. When you're tired at night, you're
But then if you're tired in the morning, you're irritated.
(02:19):
They hit the nail on the head with that one.
Do they do this every week? Do they do a
sign every day? No they don't, Yes, they do every
I wonder if that's a one person's job or if
they collectively, like find things it has to be And
how much do you get paid for that job? Because
that's now a lot of pressure. Yeah, Okay, now I'm
gonna move on to the original quote from My girl
(02:40):
my other obsession, Mel Robbins. I took a screenshot at
this one and sent it to Cat the other day
because I'm like, this is so good. But Mel put up,
the move that you're afraid to make is the one
that will change everything. Trust yourself and do it. See
But I read that, and then I'm like, but how
do I know I can trust myself? What is the
right thing I'm supposed to trust because I'm like a
(03:03):
ping ping ping, But I also live in a space
where I really do think that, like we can't really
mess up. There's this like quote and I don't know
if it's from like a Super Soul conversation or what
it's from, but it's Oprah talking and she's talking about failure,
and I've read it on You Need Therapy before, but
she basically is talking about how like every decision you
make is going to lead you to another situation that's
(03:26):
going to lead you to another situation that's going to
lead you to another situation, and even if they don't
turn out the way you wanted them to be, they're
taking to where you need to go, and so you
can't really mess up. Because the whole idea was like
what is failure and what is messing up? Like if
you make the wrong decision because you trust your gut,
how do you know it's the wrong decision because what
you wanted to happen didn't happen. But what if what
you wanted to happen wasn't supposed to happen? Right? Okay, See,
(03:50):
I know I can be talked back through it. I
think that's what I always have to land there of
like I cannot mess my life up because my life
is just a series of events that take me to
where I eventually need to go. We don't like all
of the events, unless, of course, I go do something extreme,
Like you know that's not what you're referring. No, because
(04:11):
my mind immediately goes to like, well, I mean I
Canada this and this and that would be pretty bad.
Or I could do that and that would be bad.
But that's excluding all maybe illegal activity. Yeah that's not
in this chat. But yeah, I think that like trust
your gut or like a lot of times, we know
what we want to do, we know what we need,
but we get so afraid of the what ifs and
then we get paralyzed and then we don't do anything,
(04:33):
and that's not the right decision either. Well. Yeah, and
on a lighter note, remember how I was scared to
make that crazy peach cake for my daughter. I made it.
I did see that. I actually just asked Stevenson if
it was good. So what did he say? I'm gonna
go no comment here. Okay, Well, listen, don't be scared
of failure, because you know, sometimes you just have to
(04:53):
show up and it's about trying and doing your best.
And that's what I did with that cake because the
version on YouTube from some Korean cooking show was unattainable.
There is no way I could have made something as
beautiful as that person who clearly has a lot of
views on YouTube, so she creates art it's her job.
(05:15):
It's her job. She has this one particular peach cake
has eleven million views, and so I thought, well, and
it is kind of therapeutic to watch. There is no
recipe in the section, like the even the description section
of YouTube. You just have to watch the video play
by play, so there was a lot of rewinding. I'm
sure I missed some steps that may have been the problem,
(05:38):
but I feel like I got every ingredient in every
step of the recipe correct, and I feel like I
got the overall vibe. But it just was not exactly
what Stashia was expecting, but she did appreciate the effort.
I was going to say, like, yeah, the cake might
not have turned out how it looked in a video.
And maybe the point of all that was you showing
(06:01):
Sashia that you wanted to do this for her and
do it with her because did she help you? Yeah,
So the experience of doing that and showing her that
you cared enough to do this really hard thing with her,
that probably was more important. Yeah, And then I felt Yes,
to me, I just want to keep showing up like, yeah,
I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Like
you want some crazy Korean cake from YouTube where I
(06:23):
don't even know some of the ingredients and I got
to find them and their obscure and nothing is in
you know, measurements that were used to it's like all
grams and which I realize that's not as hard. My
sister taught me when she was on the podcast because
of her coffee shop, they bake a lot, and she
learned once they started baking way more for the shop
that you know, as long as you have a scale,
you just convert it over to Graham's and then you
(06:46):
put the bowl on there and then set it back
to zero and then start just pouring stuff in there,
and it'll tell you once you get to five grams
or tin grams wherever you learn. I know, I'm cool,
cool mom, cool mom, which I would happen to be
wearing my tied eye cool mom pull over for her
birthday and all of her friends were over. There was
like seventeen girls came over to swim and hang out,
(07:07):
and I was like, I'm a cool mom. See my sweatshirt.
She looks tied I with hot Papa, hot pink embroider
on the neckline. And this is my shameless plug for
that Mother's Day is like literally less than two weeks
away as you're listening to this, and we have so
many cute items. Last Thursday, Stephanie from Project Meta Share
was on the podcast talking about the amazing work that
(07:28):
they're doing to save women's lives, and she told us
about these thirty dollar birth kits that they have. That's it.
The birth kit thirty dollars has life saving materials in
it that midwives can take out to rule parts of
Haiti and as long as they have those kids with them,
they can deliver in a clean, safe way and that
if they don't have these tools. And so I think
over seven hundred babies were born at their maternity centers
(07:50):
last year. But then there's hundreds that are happening that
can't make it to the maternity center because they're too
far out or they can't get there in time, or
they don't have a vehicle, and we worry able to
help them purchase ambulances last year for Mother's Day. But anyway,
there's just so many cute items and I feel like
a podcast it doesn't give me like when I'm talking
about it, I don't do the best job describing how
(08:11):
cute the items are. But Cat got our star necklace
from her mom for Easter, and I have the cool
Aunt tied I sweatshirt. I think it's different because it
says in and yeah in print, it's different. I don't
know if we still have that one available. We might
in a T shirt and then we have a new
cool Aunt sweatshirt that's available. I know Mother's Day's coming up,
(08:33):
but you might have an Aunt in your life. You
need to shop more. And then I had my four
Things gratitude journal out on the kitchen counter when Cat
got here, and Cat's like, my mom got me that too.
She got me this necklace, the sweatshirt and n So
thank you Cat's mom for being so supportive. And you know,
you know, just think of people that are the moms
in your life you want to shop for, if you
(08:53):
want to do Mother's Day, if you have other shopping
to do, when you want to make an impact on
this particular campaign for these birth kits. Well, anyway, so
when Stephanie was on, you said these kids are thirty bucks,
and I'm like, okay, and y'all need hundreds and hundreds
of these kids, So let's sell some stuff for Mother's Day. People,
and it's just hard to do it justice describing how
cute some of the stuff is like four Things totes.
(09:15):
My whole podcast, the four Things podcast is modeled after
the four Things tote that was the original four Things item,
So it is something that's almost like merch for this
in a way, and customizing it might be overwhelming or daunting,
but guess what. We have pre made ones. And I
carry our life Goals tote every single day. It's my
work bag, and you can carry them to the grocery store,
(09:36):
you can carry them to the pool, the beach, summertimes
coming up, you can carry it while you're traveling. It
makes a really great thoughtful gift and you can stuff
it full of things if you want to go up
a level with your gift, or you just give the
tote and that is a thoughtful enough gift in itself.
And the Life Goals tote is an option. We have
a Dear Mama one that's where the four things are
(09:58):
just predetermined and quickly. The goals one is be kind,
work hard, choose joy, give things. And then the theme
song of my podcast, which doesn't play during the fifth
Thing that every Thursday episode is by Walker hayes, and
he goes, be kind, Choose Joy, love a lot, eat cake,
be kind, Choose Joy, and that is on a zipper pouch,
and it's called the joy Seeker. We may even have
(10:20):
the joy Seeker on a pink tote. Point is go
to shop spat dot com to see all of the things,
because you have to visualize the cute stuff, and I'm
a person that has to see it. Some of you
might hear it and be like, Okay, I'm gonna go
buy something, but I would want to see it, So
shop spa dot com e s p w A. Now.
I do have some listeners emails that I want to
(10:41):
get to with you, Cat, if you don't mind. The
first one is from don Etta in Oklahoma. She said, Hey, Amy,
I'm catching up on the past few weeks worth of
(11:01):
your podcast and currently listening to your talk with Christy,
which this is me talking here. Christie is my sister.
She said, I love how you look at the miracles
in the hard things. The birth of Pimp and Joy
from your mom's cancer journey and your kids out of
your infertility struggles is incredibly inspiring. I also think you
should look at SPA as a miracle from having found
(11:22):
and adopted your beautiful children. That's a kind of miracle
like Pimp and Joy that sends out miracles to others
as well. Those are the best kind. Thanks for sharing
your journey and growth and joy over the years, your friend,
Donnetta and Oklahoma. Ps. Also from the preceding Amy and
cat chat. I find both of your laughs infectious and
always find myself smiling along. So Donetta, thank you for
(11:45):
that note of encouragement. And yeah, my sister was on
a couple of weeks ago for Four Things if you
want to go back and listen to that episode, and
she was on mostly to promote her HDTV show, but
we talked about so much more the Hospita Lady Jean
at that And that's when I decided I was going
to bake the cake because my dad would have baked
(12:06):
the cake, like if I took my dad some weird
obscure recipe. He wasn't he a really good cook? Yes, well,
cooking and baking is different, but he could do both
all right. Yeah, he would bust out all kinds of
baking cookie. He could do it all, and he would
even put his own twist on it and kind of
make it better at times if he could figure out
something away to make it better. And so that's just
(12:28):
a special talent that I didn't necessarily inherit, but you know,
Christie allowed me to tap into that and want to
channel that, and I did my best and I baked
the cake. I did it. I don't know that I
ever want to do it again, but I did it.
So if I bring you a cake, you won't bake
a cake for me for my birthday. If if you,
I'm gonna find one. Okay, I'm gonna start charging people
(12:50):
because it takes me a lot of time as long
as whatever you bring me has the recipe written out
like a ten minute YouTube deo, over and over and
rewinding it. That's the part that's annoying. We also, while
my sister was on, we were talking about, you know,
expecting miracles and we have just one life. Were talked
about these bracelets my sister got me, and they're so
(13:12):
cute and I love that they're They're a reminder pimp
and joy is for sure a miracle, and a spaw
is a miracle, my children, or miracles and the fact
that at all unfolded and like you were just saying
at the beginning of like the next right thing led
to the next right thing, and when I couldn't wasn't
able to get pregnant, I thought, I don't understand, Lord,
(13:33):
I just want to get pregnant. I just want to
get pregnant. But I didn't know that that next right
move of going to this like adoption dinner that we
were invited to would open my heart up to adoption.
And then I would shelf the whole pregnancy thing because
we couldn't figure that out and move on to adoption.
What if I never took that step because and then
I had to convince my husband what if he never
(13:54):
took that step because he wasn't on board with adoption
At first he was, but after we had biological children's like,
oh yeah, I guess I'm open to it, but we're
having our own first. And then now it's amazing to
hear him call his two kids from Haiti his own
and so. And I think that is like the point
of like miracles wheneber I think of miracles that have
experienced or heard of, they come from depths of sorrow
(14:18):
a lot of times. So I think to have something
great like that, you do a lot of times have
to go through tough stuff. We don't want to. We
just want to have like a nice, tinny miracle. But yeah,
I think that looking at the things in your life
that aren't really perfect and beautiful and looking at them
as opportunities for like something good can arise out of
this that I never would have dreamed of. Yeah. Never.
(14:39):
And it's like Garth Brooks says, what does he say?
Some of God's greatest gifts? Which shout out to Bobby
Bones and the Raging Idiots because they opened for Garth
Brooks in Arkansas on Saturday night. Garth Brooks was here,
just here. He was the weekend before are and then
(15:00):
Saturday he was in Arkansas at the Razorbacks Stadium. Seventy
people sold out show totally crazy stadium show, bonkers. Okay.
Next email is from Emily in Louisiana. I never email people,
so I'm excited for this. Is that weird? L O L.
I just wanted to say that I've been listening to
your podcast for about three years now and it has
(15:22):
really helped me become a more positive person. Thank you
for that, because I'm working on being more positive person too,
So I don't want you all to think that I
just come on here and I'm all positive all the time,
because I'm not. It takes work, okay. I love that
you keep it real while also bringing awareness to serious,
sensitive subjects. The world can be a negative place, but
(15:44):
your podcast brings light to so many people. I'm a
twenty four year old new mom, and listening to your
podcast has given me so much guidance to healthy parenting.
You talk about important topics that I would have never
thought about, like not talking badly about my body in
front of my daughter, are talking of dieting boom, We're
like this, we have like things to say in the
(16:05):
middle of this email because we were so excited about it. Uh.
I love that so much because she's only twenty four
and she's learning this early on. So in this like
first child, So you're gonna like, have you have so
many years to just be this message to people. I
love it. Emily in Louisiana going to continue with your email.
That is something my mom did around me, and I
(16:27):
never thought about how it affected me until you did
the Outweigh series. I love the walk thing and the
fifth thing with cat shout Out. I also loved the
Gratitude journal. I made my own journal with one I
had laying around the house. But it really makes you
appreciate all of the things. I just wanted you to
know that you are truly alive in keeping you which
full disclosure, I didn't want to read that line about myself,
(16:48):
but Cat just made me. Okay. Back to the email,
I wanted to include four things that I'm thankful for
right now, so here they are my baby Ivy, my
espresso machine, the coke I had for lunch, and fourth
thing supportive friends. Your friend Emily from Louisiana, And then
she attached a picture of her and her baby and
(17:09):
she said, here she goes. I also wanted to include
a picture of me and my baby since you said
you like connecting with your followers, which I absolutely do
like connecting, and I so appreciated being able to put
a face with the email, So attaching a picture was
very sweet. You know what, people A lot of people
send me pictures attached birds. They're like, what's word? Are
you going something that just birds? Just birds? So like
(17:33):
cardinals or blue jays or any kind of birds. Sometimes
they're like can you identify this? And I'm like Okay,
you haven't been putting out as much bird content. I
know I put because no where it's not winter anymore.
It's it's it's almost May, it's not winter. But even
in the winter I had birds coming. I guess I
just don't spend as much time at my kitchen table.
(17:56):
When I was kind of depressed. I just really got
into the birds to just have something to think about.
And it still brings me happiness. And I love it
that even my kids are like totally into it now.
Just the other day, because I just put out fresh seed,
my son's like, Mom, your mom's here, and I don't
know her. It's a little red cardinal at the feeder,
(18:18):
and they know that cardinals are my mom and blue
jays are my dad, and they're just sweet to play
along with me, and that maybe they believe it too along.
Maybe I don't know. I think they're kind of like, Mom,
your dad's here, back, Mom, Mom, Papa's back, And I'm like, okay,
But thank you Emily for the really amazing email. And
(18:39):
I hope that that's encouragement to others listening that I
don't want you talking badly about your bodies in front
of yourself. Like in your own mind or especially in
front of your children. And you know, my mom didn't
really do it in front of me, but I was
exposed to dieting at an early age, and then that's
where it all started. It might not be talking about
your body, but if somebody is talking about a diet,
(19:02):
that just sends the same exact message. And I think
we don't do it maliciously, but once we notice it,
then we can do something about it. I like that
you said that you don't like when people talk about
their bodies in front of themselves as well, because I
always say, like, you hear yourself when you talk to yourself,
so what you do say about yourself matters a lot.
(19:22):
And I mean not to keep trying it back to
a spa or different things that we have, but we
hope that some of that whole line is encouraging. So
there's even four things affirmation tease and affirmation note cards
that say things like you are kind, you're smart, you
are worthy, you are left And as a mom, that
(19:43):
might be cool to wear around your kids because they're
they're reading it on your shirt and then they're the
ones seeing it with their eyeballs. And then when you're
looking in the mirror, you see it too, but it's
a nice thing to have on to wear to others.
And then we have the note card sets and they
have little envelopes and you could write a note to
a friend on it and give it to them so
that they know they're smart, they are worthy, their loved,
(20:04):
their kind, and that you are kind. Like I use
that with my kid. I think I even got this
from maybe Dr Becky, or maybe there's another parenting book
I was reading about reminding your children that they are
these certain attributes, like telling them that they are because
sometimes they don't believe that they are. And when you're
they're trying to make a decision or a choice, you
(20:25):
can kind of just leave it in their hands but
say something like, well, I know you're a kind person,
so I think that you'll figure it out. And then
you walk away and they think, you know, they have
to do some critical thinking to kind of figure out, okay,
how they want to get and then oh, yeah, I'm
a kind person. So they tend to lean that direction
when that offers some confidence to them as well. So
(20:46):
I like your kind, so I know you'll figure it out.
It's like, oh yeah, I am capable of doing this right,
so love it. I feel like the four things affirmation
to you would be a great Mother's Day gift for mom.
So that way their kids see that over and over
and then mommind need to look in the mirror and
remember like you are worthy. I have another email I
want to read. This one is from Miranda in Wichita, Kansas. Hey, Amy,
(21:10):
I just listened to the fifth Thing episode this week
with Kat and you guys talked for a minute about
living your life for the weekends, and it made me
think of Jason Tarctic. That is um Caitlin Bristow's fiance.
Isn't it last name? I have no idea, I didn't.
I don't watch The Bachelor, but I think that's a
Bachelor guy. Okay, well, how are you say his last name?
(21:31):
She goes, I know, so silly, but I love him.
In his podcast as well, he recently wrote a book,
The Restart Roadmap. I haven't read it, but in one
of the promos, he said he found himself miserable and
counting the days until the weekend and only truly living
two days of the week before he quit his office
financial career and realized this wasn't what life was about
for him. I just thought that he's super interesting and
(21:52):
it might be a good reach out for an interview
for the podcast. If not, this was just good reinforcement
for me to make sure to enjoy the little things
during the week and make sure that I am living
my week and not just waiting for the weekend. L
O L. Lastly, I just need to say that you
guys always bring joy to my week and I always
catch myself laughing along with you. Also, your new sendoff
(22:14):
has me smiling at the end of each episode. So
with that being said, thank you Miranda from Wichita, Kansas.
And then she said, shout out to my mom. Oh,
I love the shout outs. Let's do shout outs. Shout
out to my mom Shanna and my cousin bestie Melissa,
who are listeners of you as well. Have you ever
(22:34):
had a bachelor bachelotte person on the podcast? No, I haven't.
Maybe this is your your start, I know, and I
would like to have Caitlin on too. Maybe I could
just have them on, you know, two weeks in a
row or something, do a couple thing. Yeah. I had
somebody messaged me the other day because I obviously am
not like posting about my boyfriend all the time. And
(22:56):
they found out that I had one, and they messaged
me and they sent me this guy for the Bachelor,
and they're like, I've been doing some researches this him
and for anybody thinking that now, I'm not dating anybody
from the Bachelor. Oh interesting, Yeah everybody where you met
him dating app? Yeah? Did you say the specific one?
Oh hinge? Yeah, love it right now because some of
(23:18):
my friends like bumble. Some of my friends like Hinge.
You did both, but just like bumble. I know I
have a friend that really likes Bumble, but you know
she doesn't. She doesn't have the best of luck with it.
But she also enjoys Hinge. But she goes out like
a lot. And sometimes you have to put yourself out there,
right because you think about all my bad dating experience.
(23:39):
They were bad. Yeah, so it was a long time coming. Yeah,
we're thankful thanithful, thankful, thankful for Pete Dogget my new
nickname for him. Yeah. All right, Well, we love hearing
from you all. I wish we could get to to
every email that comes in. I'll have some more for
next week. But four things with Amy Brown Gmail dot
(24:00):
com is where you can send us notes if you
want it on the fifth thing, make sure you put
fifth thing in the subject line. And then if you
want to do a listener Q and A. I will
be starting those back up once I get done with
my movie. Wow are we talking about Have we talked
about that? We haven't really yet because I don't really
know what I can say. I mentioned it last Thursday
and we mentioned it on the Bobby Bones Show. We
(24:22):
all know that Amy's movie. I'm I have a role
in a movie. Okay, they need to find my scene
as pivotal, but I am in like maybe one or
two scenes towards the end accounts. Okay, Like you'll have
to watch the movie and get through the entire thing
until you see me at the end ish, but it'll
(24:43):
be like, oh yeah, we'll have to have a watch
party for sure. Okay. So four things with Amy round
at gmail dot com. Hit us up. We'd love to
hear from you at cat dot de fata on Instagram.
She would love for you to follow see what she's
got going on, especially on her podcast, which is called
You Need to Therapy, and the handle for that is
you Need Therapy Podcast. Which you put up a lot
(25:03):
of really great quotes, which we should start using some
of your quotes show. Yeah, yeah, from the episode you do. Yeah,
so you know, if you're looking for some inspo, I
recommend following that. And then yeah, shop squaw dot com
for Mother's Day shopping. Sometimes you have to just like
tell it for people in the back because trust me,
I procrastinate and put things off and then it's like, oh,
(25:25):
Mother's Days here and I forgot to order anything, and
you're running around. But the point is you want to
try to find something thoughtful. And I posted on Instagram
last weekend that each gift comes with a card inside
the package. So if you give it as a gift
or ship it directly to them, or you just include
it in your packaging, like whoever you're giving it to
will know the impact, like it will know that it's
(25:46):
supporting maternity care in Haiti through Project Meta Share, and
then it's like oh, and then they know it's the
gift that keeps on giving. I'm Radio Amy on Instagram,
so would love to connect with you over there. And yeah,
that's a fifth thing for today. I will see you
on Thursday. For four things, Kayleie Dickerson will be my guest.
She is the wife of Russell Dickerson, who's a country
(26:08):
artist here in Nashville and has her own podcast, Coffee
with Kaylee, And she's just very encouraging, inspiring, wise person,
and I've wanted to have her on the podcast for
a long time, so finally sitting down with her, and
she'll be this Thursday's episode. So I hope you will
check that out and have a great Tuesday if you're
listening to this on Tuesday or whatever day of the
(26:29):
week you're listening. We are super thankful for y'all and
anything else. Closing thoughts, Cat, I think you've covered it all. Okay,
all right, well that's our episode. Thanks for listening. Thank you.
Did we do it? I don't know, but I like
you actually doing a little bit different each time, so
then it doesn't get like we were prerecorded. And then
(26:50):
we end with thank you. Okay, we did it, Okay, alright,
by y'all.
Happy Tuesday. I'm Amy and I'm Cat, and welcome to
the fifth Thing. Today's quote, well, I'm gonna do multiple
quotes today because before we hit record, Cat was like,
I hope our quote is lighthearted, and I was like, okay,
I need to revisit this because Cat wants to laugh
with some quotes. So I'm going to read multiple from
my favorite Instagram account, l Royo Underscore a t X.
(00:27):
It's a Mexican restaurant in Austin shout out that has
an awesome sign and when you drive by, it's always
fun to see what they put on it. But if
you don't live in Austin, you get to follow their
Instagram account and see the funny things that they put up.
So Cat will roll through some of the recent sign
that have been put up and we'll see if any
of them give you whatever feeling you're chasing right now.
(00:48):
You'll like this one. I think maybe because you're a therapist.
Best friends are basically therapist who get paid in Margarita's
I do like that one, but also, you're good annoyed
by a lot of people on social media don't think
they're all therapists. That is also true, but but that's
when people are like trying to make money off of
them doing that. That's just like, you know, being fun.
(01:11):
That doesn't bother me. It's fun and also important the
role that a best friend can play. You can share
your deepest things. Yes, I'm for it, Yes we're for that.
One of arguments start because someone hasn't name yet. Actually
I do like I agree with that. What's the latest
argument you and your boyfriend have had. We have only
(01:33):
been in one argument, and I don't even know that
I would call it an argument. But how long have
you all been together? A little over two months? So
two months. One argument is that I feel like that's
a good sign. I feel like that's really good, also
very easy going. So I don't really know what it
would actually make him upset. It's probably more about me
getting upset. Okay, I can see that. What about my
(01:56):
body is not a temple, it's a thermos for case,
So I love that. I love me somek. So that
is for sure. When you are tired at night, and
everything's funny. But when you're tired in the morning, nothing's funny.
Think about that one. When you're tired at night, you're
But then if you're tired in the morning, you're irritated.
(02:19):
They hit the nail on the head with that one.
Do they do this every week? Do they do a
sign every day? No they don't, Yes, they do every
I wonder if that's a one person's job or if
they collectively, like find things it has to be And
how much do you get paid for that job? Because
that's now a lot of pressure. Yeah, Okay, now I'm
gonna move on to the original quote from My girl
(02:40):
my other obsession, Mel Robbins. I took a screenshot at
this one and sent it to Cat the other day
because I'm like, this is so good. But Mel put up,
the move that you're afraid to make is the one
that will change everything. Trust yourself and do it. See
But I read that, and then I'm like, but how
do I know I can trust myself? What is the
right thing I'm supposed to trust because I'm like a
(03:03):
ping ping ping, But I also live in a space
where I really do think that, like we can't really
mess up. There's this like quote and I don't know
if it's from like a Super Soul conversation or what
it's from, but it's Oprah talking and she's talking about failure,
and I've read it on You Need Therapy before, but
she basically is talking about how like every decision you
make is going to lead you to another situation that's
(03:26):
going to lead you to another situation that's going to
lead you to another situation, and even if they don't
turn out the way you wanted them to be, they're
taking to where you need to go, and so you
can't really mess up. Because the whole idea was like
what is failure and what is messing up? Like if
you make the wrong decision because you trust your gut,
how do you know it's the wrong decision because what
you wanted to happen didn't happen. But what if what
you wanted to happen wasn't supposed to happen? Right? Okay, See,
(03:50):
I know I can be talked back through it. I
think that's what I always have to land there of
like I cannot mess my life up because my life
is just a series of events that take me to
where I eventually need to go. We don't like all
of the events, unless, of course, I go do something extreme,
Like you know that's not what you're referring. No, because
(04:11):
my mind immediately goes to like, well, I mean I
Canada this and this and that would be pretty bad.
Or I could do that and that would be bad.
But that's excluding all maybe illegal activity. Yeah that's not
in this chat. But yeah, I think that like trust
your gut or like a lot of times, we know
what we want to do, we know what we need,
but we get so afraid of the what ifs and
then we get paralyzed and then we don't do anything,
(04:33):
and that's not the right decision either. Well. Yeah, and
on a lighter note, remember how I was scared to
make that crazy peach cake for my daughter. I made it.
I did see that. I actually just asked Stevenson if
it was good. So what did he say? I'm gonna
go no comment here. Okay, Well, listen, don't be scared
of failure, because you know, sometimes you just have to
(04:53):
show up and it's about trying and doing your best.
And that's what I did with that cake because the
version on YouTube from some Korean cooking show was unattainable.
There is no way I could have made something as
beautiful as that person who clearly has a lot of
views on YouTube, so she creates art it's her job.
(05:15):
It's her job. She has this one particular peach cake
has eleven million views, and so I thought, well, and
it is kind of therapeutic to watch. There is no
recipe in the section, like the even the description section
of YouTube. You just have to watch the video play
by play, so there was a lot of rewinding. I'm
sure I missed some steps that may have been the problem,
(05:38):
but I feel like I got every ingredient in every
step of the recipe correct, and I feel like I
got the overall vibe. But it just was not exactly
what Stashia was expecting, but she did appreciate the effort.
I was going to say, like, yeah, the cake might
not have turned out how it looked in a video.
And maybe the point of all that was you showing
(06:01):
Sashia that you wanted to do this for her and
do it with her because did she help you? Yeah,
So the experience of doing that and showing her that
you cared enough to do this really hard thing with her,
that probably was more important. Yeah, And then I felt Yes,
to me, I just want to keep showing up like, yeah,
I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Like
you want some crazy Korean cake from YouTube where I
(06:23):
don't even know some of the ingredients and I got
to find them and their obscure and nothing is in
you know, measurements that were used to it's like all
grams and which I realize that's not as hard. My
sister taught me when she was on the podcast because
of her coffee shop, they bake a lot, and she
learned once they started baking way more for the shop
that you know, as long as you have a scale,
you just convert it over to Graham's and then you
(06:46):
put the bowl on there and then set it back
to zero and then start just pouring stuff in there,
and it'll tell you once you get to five grams
or tin grams wherever you learn. I know, I'm cool,
cool mom, cool mom, which I would happen to be
wearing my tied eye cool mom pull over for her
birthday and all of her friends were over. There was
like seventeen girls came over to swim and hang out,
(07:07):
and I was like, I'm a cool mom. See my sweatshirt.
She looks tied I with hot Papa, hot pink embroider
on the neckline. And this is my shameless plug for
that Mother's Day is like literally less than two weeks
away as you're listening to this, and we have so
many cute items. Last Thursday, Stephanie from Project Meta Share
was on the podcast talking about the amazing work that
(07:28):
they're doing to save women's lives, and she told us
about these thirty dollar birth kits that they have. That's it.
The birth kit thirty dollars has life saving materials in
it that midwives can take out to rule parts of
Haiti and as long as they have those kids with them,
they can deliver in a clean, safe way and that
if they don't have these tools. And so I think
over seven hundred babies were born at their maternity centers
(07:50):
last year. But then there's hundreds that are happening that
can't make it to the maternity center because they're too
far out or they can't get there in time, or
they don't have a vehicle, and we worry able to
help them purchase ambulances last year for Mother's Day. But anyway,
there's just so many cute items and I feel like
a podcast it doesn't give me like when I'm talking
about it, I don't do the best job describing how
(08:11):
cute the items are. But Cat got our star necklace
from her mom for Easter, and I have the cool
Aunt tied I sweatshirt. I think it's different because it
says in and yeah in print, it's different. I don't
know if we still have that one available. We might
in a T shirt and then we have a new
cool Aunt sweatshirt that's available. I know Mother's Day's coming up,
(08:33):
but you might have an Aunt in your life. You
need to shop more. And then I had my four
Things gratitude journal out on the kitchen counter when Cat
got here, and Cat's like, my mom got me that too.
She got me this necklace, the sweatshirt and n So
thank you Cat's mom for being so supportive. And you know,
you know, just think of people that are the moms
in your life you want to shop for, if you
(08:53):
want to do Mother's Day, if you have other shopping
to do, when you want to make an impact on
this particular campaign for these birth kits. Well, anyway, so
when Stephanie was on, you said these kids are thirty bucks,
and I'm like, okay, and y'all need hundreds and hundreds
of these kids, So let's sell some stuff for Mother's Day. People,
and it's just hard to do it justice describing how
cute some of the stuff is like four Things totes.
(09:15):
My whole podcast, the four Things podcast is modeled after
the four Things tote that was the original four Things item,
So it is something that's almost like merch for this
in a way, and customizing it might be overwhelming or daunting,
but guess what. We have pre made ones. And I
carry our life Goals tote every single day. It's my
work bag, and you can carry them to the grocery store,
(09:36):
you can carry them to the pool, the beach, summertimes
coming up, you can carry it while you're traveling. It
makes a really great thoughtful gift and you can stuff
it full of things if you want to go up
a level with your gift, or you just give the
tote and that is a thoughtful enough gift in itself.
And the Life Goals tote is an option. We have
a Dear Mama one that's where the four things are
(09:58):
just predetermined and quickly. The goals one is be kind,
work hard, choose joy, give things. And then the theme
song of my podcast, which doesn't play during the fifth
Thing that every Thursday episode is by Walker hayes, and
he goes, be kind, Choose Joy, love a lot, eat cake,
be kind, Choose Joy, and that is on a zipper pouch,
and it's called the joy Seeker. We may even have
(10:20):
the joy Seeker on a pink tote. Point is go
to shop spat dot com to see all of the things,
because you have to visualize the cute stuff, and I'm
a person that has to see it. Some of you
might hear it and be like, Okay, I'm gonna go
buy something, but I would want to see it, So
shop spa dot com e s p w A. Now.
I do have some listeners emails that I want to
(10:41):
get to with you, Cat, if you don't mind. The
first one is from don Etta in Oklahoma. She said, Hey, Amy,
I'm catching up on the past few weeks worth of
(11:01):
your podcast and currently listening to your talk with Christy,
which this is me talking here. Christie is my sister.
She said, I love how you look at the miracles
in the hard things. The birth of Pimp and Joy
from your mom's cancer journey and your kids out of
your infertility struggles is incredibly inspiring. I also think you
should look at SPA as a miracle from having found
(11:22):
and adopted your beautiful children. That's a kind of miracle
like Pimp and Joy that sends out miracles to others
as well. Those are the best kind. Thanks for sharing
your journey and growth and joy over the years, your friend,
Donnetta and Oklahoma. Ps. Also from the preceding Amy and
cat chat. I find both of your laughs infectious and
always find myself smiling along. So Donetta, thank you for
(11:45):
that note of encouragement. And yeah, my sister was on
a couple of weeks ago for Four Things if you
want to go back and listen to that episode, and
she was on mostly to promote her HDTV show, but
we talked about so much more the Hospita Lady Jean
at that And that's when I decided I was going
to bake the cake because my dad would have baked
(12:06):
the cake, like if I took my dad some weird
obscure recipe. He wasn't he a really good cook? Yes, well,
cooking and baking is different, but he could do both
all right. Yeah, he would bust out all kinds of
baking cookie. He could do it all, and he would
even put his own twist on it and kind of
make it better at times if he could figure out
something away to make it better. And so that's just
(12:28):
a special talent that I didn't necessarily inherit, but you know,
Christie allowed me to tap into that and want to
channel that, and I did my best and I baked
the cake. I did it. I don't know that I
ever want to do it again, but I did it.
So if I bring you a cake, you won't bake
a cake for me for my birthday. If if you,
I'm gonna find one. Okay, I'm gonna start charging people
(12:50):
because it takes me a lot of time as long
as whatever you bring me has the recipe written out
like a ten minute YouTube deo, over and over and
rewinding it. That's the part that's annoying. We also, while
my sister was on, we were talking about, you know,
expecting miracles and we have just one life. Were talked
about these bracelets my sister got me, and they're so
(13:12):
cute and I love that they're They're a reminder pimp
and joy is for sure a miracle, and a spaw
is a miracle, my children, or miracles and the fact
that at all unfolded and like you were just saying
at the beginning of like the next right thing led
to the next right thing, and when I couldn't wasn't
able to get pregnant, I thought, I don't understand, Lord,
(13:33):
I just want to get pregnant. I just want to
get pregnant. But I didn't know that that next right
move of going to this like adoption dinner that we
were invited to would open my heart up to adoption.
And then I would shelf the whole pregnancy thing because
we couldn't figure that out and move on to adoption.
What if I never took that step because and then
I had to convince my husband what if he never
(13:54):
took that step because he wasn't on board with adoption
At first he was, but after we had biological children's like,
oh yeah, I guess I'm open to it, but we're
having our own first. And then now it's amazing to
hear him call his two kids from Haiti his own
and so. And I think that is like the point
of like miracles wheneber I think of miracles that have
experienced or heard of, they come from depths of sorrow
(14:18):
a lot of times. So I think to have something
great like that, you do a lot of times have
to go through tough stuff. We don't want to. We
just want to have like a nice, tinny miracle. But yeah,
I think that looking at the things in your life
that aren't really perfect and beautiful and looking at them
as opportunities for like something good can arise out of
this that I never would have dreamed of. Yeah. Never.
(14:39):
And it's like Garth Brooks says, what does he say?
Some of God's greatest gifts? Which shout out to Bobby
Bones and the Raging Idiots because they opened for Garth
Brooks in Arkansas on Saturday night. Garth Brooks was here,
just here. He was the weekend before are and then
(15:00):
Saturday he was in Arkansas at the Razorbacks Stadium. Seventy
people sold out show totally crazy stadium show, bonkers. Okay.
Next email is from Emily in Louisiana. I never email people,
so I'm excited for this. Is that weird? L O L.
I just wanted to say that I've been listening to
your podcast for about three years now and it has
(15:22):
really helped me become a more positive person. Thank you
for that, because I'm working on being more positive person too,
So I don't want you all to think that I
just come on here and I'm all positive all the time,
because I'm not. It takes work, okay. I love that
you keep it real while also bringing awareness to serious,
sensitive subjects. The world can be a negative place, but
(15:44):
your podcast brings light to so many people. I'm a
twenty four year old new mom, and listening to your
podcast has given me so much guidance to healthy parenting.
You talk about important topics that I would have never
thought about, like not talking badly about my body in
front of my daughter, are talking of dieting boom, We're
like this, we have like things to say in the
(16:05):
middle of this email because we were so excited about it. Uh.
I love that so much because she's only twenty four
and she's learning this early on. So in this like
first child, So you're gonna like, have you have so
many years to just be this message to people. I
love it. Emily in Louisiana going to continue with your email.
That is something my mom did around me, and I
(16:27):
never thought about how it affected me until you did
the Outweigh series. I love the walk thing and the
fifth thing with cat shout Out. I also loved the
Gratitude journal. I made my own journal with one I
had laying around the house. But it really makes you
appreciate all of the things. I just wanted you to
know that you are truly alive in keeping you which
full disclosure, I didn't want to read that line about myself,
(16:48):
but Cat just made me. Okay. Back to the email,
I wanted to include four things that I'm thankful for
right now, so here they are my baby Ivy, my
espresso machine, the coke I had for lunch, and fourth
thing supportive friends. Your friend Emily from Louisiana, And then
she attached a picture of her and her baby and
(17:09):
she said, here she goes. I also wanted to include
a picture of me and my baby since you said
you like connecting with your followers, which I absolutely do
like connecting, and I so appreciated being able to put
a face with the email, So attaching a picture was
very sweet. You know what, people A lot of people
send me pictures attached birds. They're like, what's word? Are
you going something that just birds? Just birds? So like
(17:33):
cardinals or blue jays or any kind of birds. Sometimes
they're like can you identify this? And I'm like Okay,
you haven't been putting out as much bird content. I
know I put because no where it's not winter anymore.
It's it's it's almost May, it's not winter. But even
in the winter I had birds coming. I guess I
just don't spend as much time at my kitchen table.
(17:56):
When I was kind of depressed. I just really got
into the birds to just have something to think about.
And it still brings me happiness. And I love it
that even my kids are like totally into it now.
Just the other day, because I just put out fresh seed,
my son's like, Mom, your mom's here, and I don't
know her. It's a little red cardinal at the feeder,
(18:18):
and they know that cardinals are my mom and blue
jays are my dad, and they're just sweet to play
along with me, and that maybe they believe it too along.
Maybe I don't know. I think they're kind of like, Mom,
your dad's here, back, Mom, Mom, Papa's back, And I'm like, okay,
But thank you Emily for the really amazing email. And
(18:39):
I hope that that's encouragement to others listening that I
don't want you talking badly about your bodies in front
of yourself. Like in your own mind or especially in
front of your children. And you know, my mom didn't
really do it in front of me, but I was
exposed to dieting at an early age, and then that's
where it all started. It might not be talking about
your body, but if somebody is talking about a diet,
(19:02):
that just sends the same exact message. And I think
we don't do it maliciously, but once we notice it,
then we can do something about it. I like that
you said that you don't like when people talk about
their bodies in front of themselves as well, because I
always say, like, you hear yourself when you talk to yourself,
so what you do say about yourself matters a lot.
(19:22):
And I mean not to keep trying it back to
a spa or different things that we have, but we
hope that some of that whole line is encouraging. So
there's even four things affirmation tease and affirmation note cards
that say things like you are kind, you're smart, you
are worthy, you are left And as a mom, that
(19:43):
might be cool to wear around your kids because they're
they're reading it on your shirt and then they're the
ones seeing it with their eyeballs. And then when you're
looking in the mirror, you see it too, but it's
a nice thing to have on to wear to others.
And then we have the note card sets and they
have little envelopes and you could write a note to
a friend on it and give it to them so
that they know they're smart, they are worthy, their loved,
(20:04):
their kind, and that you are kind. Like I use
that with my kid. I think I even got this
from maybe Dr Becky, or maybe there's another parenting book
I was reading about reminding your children that they are
these certain attributes, like telling them that they are because
sometimes they don't believe that they are. And when you're
they're trying to make a decision or a choice, you
(20:25):
can kind of just leave it in their hands but
say something like, well, I know you're a kind person,
so I think that you'll figure it out. And then
you walk away and they think, you know, they have
to do some critical thinking to kind of figure out, okay,
how they want to get and then oh, yeah, I'm
a kind person. So they tend to lean that direction
when that offers some confidence to them as well. So
(20:46):
I like your kind, so I know you'll figure it out.
It's like, oh yeah, I am capable of doing this right,
so love it. I feel like the four things affirmation
to you would be a great Mother's Day gift for mom.
So that way their kids see that over and over
and then mommind need to look in the mirror and
remember like you are worthy. I have another email I
want to read. This one is from Miranda in Wichita, Kansas. Hey, Amy,
(21:10):
I just listened to the fifth Thing episode this week
with Kat and you guys talked for a minute about
living your life for the weekends, and it made me
think of Jason Tarctic. That is um Caitlin Bristow's fiance.
Isn't it last name? I have no idea, I didn't.
I don't watch The Bachelor, but I think that's a
Bachelor guy. Okay, well, how are you say his last name?
(21:31):
She goes, I know, so silly, but I love him.
In his podcast as well, he recently wrote a book,
The Restart Roadmap. I haven't read it, but in one
of the promos, he said he found himself miserable and
counting the days until the weekend and only truly living
two days of the week before he quit his office
financial career and realized this wasn't what life was about
for him. I just thought that he's super interesting and
(21:52):
it might be a good reach out for an interview
for the podcast. If not, this was just good reinforcement
for me to make sure to enjoy the little things
during the week and make sure that I am living
my week and not just waiting for the weekend. L
O L. Lastly, I just need to say that you
guys always bring joy to my week and I always
catch myself laughing along with you. Also, your new sendoff
(22:14):
has me smiling at the end of each episode. So
with that being said, thank you Miranda from Wichita, Kansas.
And then she said, shout out to my mom. Oh,
I love the shout outs. Let's do shout outs. Shout
out to my mom Shanna and my cousin bestie Melissa,
who are listeners of you as well. Have you ever
(22:34):
had a bachelor bachelotte person on the podcast? No, I haven't.
Maybe this is your your start, I know, and I
would like to have Caitlin on too. Maybe I could
just have them on, you know, two weeks in a
row or something, do a couple thing. Yeah. I had
somebody messaged me the other day because I obviously am
not like posting about my boyfriend all the time. And
(22:56):
they found out that I had one, and they messaged
me and they sent me this guy for the Bachelor,
and they're like, I've been doing some researches this him
and for anybody thinking that now, I'm not dating anybody
from the Bachelor. Oh interesting, Yeah everybody where you met
him dating app? Yeah? Did you say the specific one?
Oh hinge? Yeah, love it right now because some of
(23:18):
my friends like bumble. Some of my friends like Hinge.
You did both, but just like bumble. I know I
have a friend that really likes Bumble, but you know
she doesn't. She doesn't have the best of luck with it.
But she also enjoys Hinge. But she goes out like
a lot. And sometimes you have to put yourself out there,
right because you think about all my bad dating experience.
(23:39):
They were bad. Yeah, so it was a long time coming. Yeah,
we're thankful thanithful, thankful, thankful for Pete Dogget my new
nickname for him. Yeah. All right, Well, we love hearing
from you all. I wish we could get to to
every email that comes in. I'll have some more for
next week. But four things with Amy Brown Gmail dot
(24:00):
com is where you can send us notes if you
want it on the fifth thing, make sure you put
fifth thing in the subject line. And then if you
want to do a listener Q and A. I will
be starting those back up once I get done with
my movie. Wow are we talking about Have we talked
about that? We haven't really yet because I don't really
know what I can say. I mentioned it last Thursday
and we mentioned it on the Bobby Bones Show. We
(24:22):
all know that Amy's movie. I'm I have a role
in a movie. Okay, they need to find my scene
as pivotal, but I am in like maybe one or
two scenes towards the end accounts. Okay, Like you'll have
to watch the movie and get through the entire thing
until you see me at the end ish, but it'll
(24:43):
be like, oh yeah, we'll have to have a watch
party for sure. Okay. So four things with Amy round
at gmail dot com. Hit us up. We'd love to
hear from you at cat dot de fata on Instagram.
She would love for you to follow see what she's
got going on, especially on her podcast, which is called
You Need to Therapy, and the handle for that is
you Need Therapy Podcast. Which you put up a lot
(25:03):
of really great quotes, which we should start using some
of your quotes show. Yeah, yeah, from the episode you do. Yeah,
so you know, if you're looking for some inspo, I
recommend following that. And then yeah, shop squaw dot com
for Mother's Day shopping. Sometimes you have to just like
tell it for people in the back because trust me,
I procrastinate and put things off and then it's like, oh,
(25:25):
Mother's Days here and I forgot to order anything, and
you're running around. But the point is you want to
try to find something thoughtful. And I posted on Instagram
last weekend that each gift comes with a card inside
the package. So if you give it as a gift
or ship it directly to them, or you just include
it in your packaging, like whoever you're giving it to
will know the impact, like it will know that it's
(25:46):
supporting maternity care in Haiti through Project Meta Share, and
then it's like oh, and then they know it's the
gift that keeps on giving. I'm Radio Amy on Instagram,
so would love to connect with you over there. And yeah,
that's a fifth thing for today. I will see you
on Thursday. For four things, Kayleie Dickerson will be my guest.
She is the wife of Russell Dickerson, who's a country
(26:08):
artist here in Nashville and has her own podcast, Coffee
with Kaylee, And she's just very encouraging, inspiring, wise person,
and I've wanted to have her on the podcast for
a long time, so finally sitting down with her, and
she'll be this Thursday's episode. So I hope you will
check that out and have a great Tuesday if you're
listening to this on Tuesday or whatever day of the
(26:29):
week you're listening. We are super thankful for y'all and
anything else. Closing thoughts, Cat, I think you've covered it all. Okay,
all right, well that's our episode. Thanks for listening. Thank you.
Did we do it? I don't know, but I like
you actually doing a little bit different each time, so
then it doesn't get like we were prerecorded. And then
(26:50):
we end with thank you. Okay, we did it, Okay, alright,
by y'all.
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Amy Brown
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