August 11, 2022 • 37 mins
“Am I a fraud if I get botox?” That is the question Dylan Murphy (@DylanMurphy.rd) has been asking herself the last few months. She helps clients with their body image every day…so she was conflicted when it crossed her mind to get botox for the first time. In this episode Dylan and Amy talk about botox & other cosmetic work from the right mindset → doing it to feel more confident vs. doing it because without it your body image is negative. They also cover the role social media plays in body image/desire for botox, choosing cosmetic procedures for the right reasons, & finding friends who will be honest with you.
“Botox & Body Image: Creating Confidence & Answering Your Questions with The Nashville Beauty Girl (Part 2)” will be released tomorrow (8/12).
FYI: We’re also doing a @ZOSkinHealth product GIVEAWAY with these episodes. Just take a screenshot when you’re listening and share a post in your Instagram stories. Tag @RadioAmy so she can see it & you might get picked to receive a chat with Keri about your skincare needs & some free ZO products!
MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Dylan Murphy is a Registered Dietitian and founder of FREE Method Nutrition, a virtual nutrition practice that exists to empower women to have confidence in their body, clarity in their food choices and consistency in their health habits. Dylan and her team of Registered Dietitians support their clients through nutrition coaching in 1:1 and group settings, as well as online courses. Dylan hosts the FREE Method Podcast, where she hosts meaningful conversations on topics such as intuitive eating, realistic motherhood, body image and wellness.
Email: dylan@freemethodnutrition.com
Website: www.freemethodnutrition.com
Instagram: @dylanmurphy.rd and @freemethodnutrition
Body Confidence Blueprint (free video series): freemethodnutrition.com/freeseries
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, cass up a little food for you so life.
Oh that's pretty Bay, it's pretty beautiful. Thank you for
(00:22):
that for a little moth kicking four. Happy Thursday four.
Thanks fam Amy here and welcome to Part one of
Botox Embody Image Now. Today. The headline is am I
a fraud if I get botox? Now? That is a
(00:45):
question that comes from our guest, Dylan Murphy, and she's
been asking herself that the last few months now. Dylan
is someone that helps clients with their body image every day,
so naturally she was conflicted when it crossed her mind
to get botox for the first time. So you're gonna
hear us talk about that and other cosmetic work from
the right mindset though, like are you doing this to
(01:06):
feel more confident or you doing it because without it
your body image is negative. We're also going to talk
about the role that social media plays and all of this,
and also finding friends who will be honest with you,
and then Part two of this conversation will come out tomorrow.
I normally don't have episodes that release on Fridays, but
I wanted these to live super close to each other,
(01:28):
so you got Part one today. Part two tomorrow and
that will be botox and body image, creating confidence and
answering your questions with the Nashville Beauty Girl now at
the Nashville Beauty Girls her Instagram handle, but her name
is Carrie Claude Dell, and she's gonna be my guest.
And I put up a little Q and a box
in my Instagram and y'all put your skincare botox questions
in there for her, and there was so many. We
(01:50):
got to the ones that we could maybe I might
need to eventually do a part three, but Carrie answers
all of your questions, like what is jelly roll botox?
I didn't even know myself. I didn't even know that
was a thing. And then f y I. We're also
doing a Zero skin Health product giveaway in these episodes,
So shout out to Zero, my favorite skincareline. I use
(02:11):
it every day. Just take a screenshot when you're listening
and share the post in your Instagram stories. And then
if you tag me at Radio Amy, I might pick
someone randomly. I mean I'm going to pick someone. I
guess I might pick you randomly to receive a chat
with carry about your skin care needs. And then some
free zero products. All right, So all that said, here
(02:32):
is part one my chat with Dylan. I am sitting
across from my now friend Dylan Murphy. We're actually both
in Nashville, but we're recording on Zoom because well, you know,
schedules in life. Hey Dylan, Hi Amy. I'm glad to
(02:52):
be back or yeah, I guess I haven't been on
four things, but to be back having a conversation with you. Yes.
So Dylan co hosted three episodes of Outweigh with Me,
which is my podcast that is dedicated to eating disorder recovery.
And Dylan is a registered dietitian and founder of Free
Method Nutrition. And Dylan, you're doing great work for a
(03:14):
lot of people, and I am so thankful for it,
and I was so thankful for our conversations on that way.
But then afterwards we were text messaging and sending voice
when I was back and forth, and you had a
thought about having a conversation on four things about body image,
but extending that into the skincare world, like for the
face botox cosmetic work and just having the right mindset
(03:39):
around that. And so I don't know in your line
of work with you know what you do because y'all
are a nutrition practice that helps people with body image
and food choices and just consistency and health habits. But yeah,
body image does extend to this stuff, and no one's
really talking about it, at least that I have heard of.
So I guess the question that we need to ask
(04:00):
ourselves is are we doing certain things to feel more confident?
Or we doing it because without it, our body image
is completely wrecked and totally negative. Yeah. Yeah, and it's interesting.
I feel like this whole just like thought process for
me around like body image and where things like both
(04:20):
talks and and that sort of thing fits in kind
of sparked from like my own journey, like after I
had my now ten month old son, I started thinking
about like, okay, maybe like I want to get botox
get some help with my tired eyes. And then it
kind of like I think for a second, I had
a moment of like, oh, but would I be like
a fraud if I like got bow Talks. So then
(04:42):
that led me on this like exploration journey around like no,
like there's nothing wrong with getting something like botox or
anything else under that umbrella. I think, like the question
you just asked It all roots back to like what's
motivating that decision, Like if it's one of those things
where it's like, Okay, well I can't leave the house
or show up in pictures or things like that until
(05:03):
I have, you know, my botox appointment. Or is it
like similar to like putting on makeup or getting your
hair colored, where it's like, Okay, I like to do it.
It makes me feel confident, but I'm not afraid to
leave the house or show up places without it, which
and I think for different people the answer may be different.
Some people may realize like, Okay, I think I need
(05:24):
to do a lot more body image work because something
like botox or whatever under that umbrella maybe kind of
putting a band aid on their body image issues. What
advice would you have for someone that's trying to work
through that since you just went through it with yourself,
and how do you decipher whether you're doing something to
(05:46):
feel more confident or if it really is like an
underlying body image issue Because it's very tricky. I've wondered
that about myself, and I'm actually so glad we're having
this conversation because I've got a bonus episode coming up
soon with my skincare person, the Nashville beauty girl, and
when you're in that world, it's just so different, Like
(06:07):
she's around that stuff all day long. So to her
it's very yeah, this is what we do, like that's
that's her field. That's for fassion and doing tweaks here,
this or that is all very normal. And so sometimes
she talks about it in such a nonchalant way because
again that's her wheelhouse. So I wanted to be very
(06:27):
careful even when I have her on. I've had her
on before, but I want to talk about some of
this stuff and get listener questions, you know, if they
have any for her, especially now that I'm in needing
to sort of recovery, Like I know, toxic things. I
used to share about food, embody for stuff that I
didn't think was toxic, but those that were far ahead
(06:49):
of me. Some listeners I would get emails saying, oh,
you know, hey, I say this with kindness, but I
can't listen to your podcast anymore. It's too triggering and
I am cautious about Also content I have on the
podcast now that relates to other things too, and this
is something that this popped up. If I don't want
anybody to ever listen and feel like I'm saying, oh,
(07:09):
in order to look good or feel this certain way,
then you need to go get botox or get this
cosmetic procedure or X y Z. Does that make sense? Yes, yes,
for sure. And I do think it is very like
individual and it's I mean, like I said, it's something
that I'm like even still kind of like trying to
put words to myself because I think I very much
(07:31):
stand by like my thought of like Okay, there's nothing
wrong with getting botox, just like there's nothing wrong with
people coloring their hair. But it all digs like in
doing the inner work for yourself of like okay, where
is my motivation coming from? And like going back to
the question you asked of like okay, how does someone
like figure that out? Of like what is my motivation?
(07:52):
I think even first just seeing like where you're kind
of doing almost like an audit of your body image
and seeing like okay, my like, how do I feel
in my body? Do I feel like I'm have like
neutral body image? Am I like pretty negative about my body?
Do I have positive body image? And I mean most
of us are going to kind of ebb and flow
that whole like spectrum, maybe even in just one given day,
(08:16):
Like you may have a moment where you feel negative,
a moment you feel neutral, a moment you feel positive.
But I think what we want to see is like, Okay,
is this decision to do something like botox rooted out
of this like negative body image place where sure, maybe
it'll help, But at the same time, it's not. It's
more like putting a band aid on it instead of
actually like fixing it versus like, Okay, am I just
(08:39):
in like a neutral place with my body or even
maybe a positive place, and I know that this is
just something that like I want to do it will
make me feel more confident, I like have the financial
means to do it. So yeah, I think it's really
first like getting clear on where you are in your
body image and then seeing like, yeah, am I doing
this because I want to fix how I feel? Or
(09:02):
is this kind of something just like an addition I
want to add into like my self care routine. Because
that's probably how some people end up spiraling too far,
is they're trying to put all these band aids, you know,
And I'm guilty of at times trying out too many
different things and I've looked back at pictures and I'm like, oh, whoa,
you know, goodness, that wasn't permanent. But yeah, I might
(09:25):
have maybe I went in on a more insecure day
and I didn't do some checks and balances. I wonder about,
you know, if you're thinking about doing something, if you're
able to sit with it for a while without having
to just go in and do it, Like, could you
press pause and maybe set a timeline of, Hey, I'm
going to circle back with myself in three months if
(09:47):
I still feel the same way. I've clearly taken the
time to sit with it and and that's something that
I honestly have done myself, and that kind of worked
for me. But I guess for each person the timeline
might be different. Someone might need to sit with it
maybe for one month. Another person might need to sit
with it for a year. I guess, depending on what
you're thinking about having done. But I got to ask, still,
(10:07):
and did you decide to get the photox? So I
want to. I have not yet, mainly because now I'm
like having to commence my husband, not because he's like
cares about any of the aesthetic stuff. He's more like
the financial guy. Of like, do we really have to
spend money on that? So I like have come to
a decision where I'm like, I would be fine, Like
I know if I move forward and get it, it's
(10:30):
coming from like a sound place. Now, it's more like
the financial piece that, yeah, having to kind of work
through that. Well, I'm glad you mentioned that because that
can also be a good indicator as to whether or
not you should move forward with it, because how far
are you willing to go? Are you willing to put
yourself in a bad position and create debt because you're
(10:51):
so desperate to to want that that you see a
lot of other people getting so then it seems desirable
And so that might be something you could add to
your X and balances list of Okay, well, what is
actually reasonable for me to get done? Because there was
a time in my life, even with my skincare products,
that I could not have spent the money that I
spend on certain products that now a forty one. I'm
(11:15):
thankful that I can, but I also don't want other
people to feel like if they're not in that same position.
I don't want to be like, this is the only
skincare line that you should use at all times because
it's the best because I know even in my early
thirties that would have not been something that I had
the extra funds for, and I know have listeners in
all walks of life. So it's just something that stays
(11:37):
at the forefront of my mind of like I want
to give, you know, tips and tricks and different things
that I like and do. But again it's like what
do you have access to? And I would never want
people to feel less than if they can't afford something
that I'm saying yes yes, which I think is like
so important to say, and I think again brings back
(11:58):
to like I think that help you really get clear
on your motivation because yeah, if you realize, like, okay,
why am I having considering this? I know I'm like,
let's say, if it's someone who's like in grad school,
for instance, and they have like tons of student loans,
it's like, maybe that's not something like you even have
the means to do right now, So that's probably a
signed like maybe you have a genuine desire for it,
(12:19):
but also financially maybe it doesn't make sense. Um. It's
kind of similar to what I talk with my clients
about when it comes to like buying foods like organic
first non organic. Like, if you want to buy organic
and like enjoy organic foods, that's great. But what I
tell clients too, is like if we're thinking about like
our health as a whole, if you're like stressed and
(12:39):
like having trouble paying your bills, but you're trying to
buy all organic, we might need to take a step
back and see like maybe we could save some money there.
So yeah, bringing that back, like I think really considering
like all aspects that would kind of be at play
with the decision of like boat talks or something like that.
And I love what you said to about like sitting
(13:00):
with it, because again, what comes to mind for me
is like a decision to like color your hair or
highlight your hair. Like maybe you see a picture on
Instagram of someone with a certain like hair color or
highlights a certain way, and you're like, oh, like I
kind of want to do that, Like that might like
fun in my hair. You're probably not going to like
go do it that next week. You also might want
to sit with it before doing some sort of like
(13:23):
change like that. Um, And I think that'll I mean
I can even speak for me personally, like This is
something I've been kind of like thinking through since I
stopped breastfeeding like four months ago, because obviously there was
like pregnancy and breastfeeding where it wasn't even not chain.
So yeah, I think giving yourself time to think on
it can be huge too. What about social media and
the role that that plays on the desire for botox
(13:48):
or other things that you people might be getting done.
I we're just kind of using botox is like the thing,
but there's Sigilian treatments out there that can get Yes, yes,
I know, it's like any cosmetic treatment. It's funny. I
asked this on my social media, like, I guess it
probably is like two months ago now. Did like one
of those polls on my stories of like do you
(14:09):
think social media has impacted your desire to have botox
or to get it even if you haven't gotten it yet,
and like over we're like, yes, it has impacted me. Um,
And I think if we just think about like filters
that show up on stories now, or the way we
can like edit post and like all of those sort
of like changes, it's so easy to look and consume
(14:33):
information on social media and also just immediately take it
as like that's what someone's skin looks like when it
could be a filter that like makes the skin look
perfectly flawless. So yeah, I mean I think social media
has a big role, and I think that might even
be something to kind of dive deeper into when it
comes to really any sort of like cosmetic self care
(14:54):
type things of like is social media playing an impact
and like how like what do I do you with that?
Because it doesn't mean you need to just like delete
social media or never use a filter again, but it's
just really getting clear for yourself of like, Okay, do
I have like health the relationship with social media or
are there certain people that I need to like un followed?
(15:15):
Do I need to set boundaries for myself with social media?
It'd be interesting to see like the stats of like
how many people get like just any sort of like
cosmetic work done now versus like before social media, because
I wonder if it would be like different. I feel
like I have read articles at some point in time,
like maybe on the Bobby Bones Show stuff has come
(15:36):
up or plastic surgeons have said that. Yeah. Absolutely, since
selfies and filters and social media have come into the picture,
people show up being like this is what I look
like with this filter? Can you make me look like this?
It's like that's not real life, So I don't know,
Or how much money do you have, maybe we can
(15:57):
make you work. Uh, And I mean I think a
lot of to what we see just like in the media, um,
I mean social media especially, but this like message around
like the ideal body and like what you know our
face should look like in our arms and our nose
and our eyes and all these different things. And so
then yeah, kind of challenges us to try and take
(16:17):
our beauty into our own hands. Like Okay, if I
want to like look like this ideal body, then I
need to get like X, Y and Z done so
that I can fit into that mold. But then even
with that kind of tying that to body image, like
asking yourself what you think that would achieve? Like, Okay,
if I was able, if there was even like a
possibility that I could like have that like ideal body
(16:39):
or my face would look like that girl that I
follow on Instagram? Like what do you think would be
different about your life than it is now? And I
think again, some of that can really help unearth, like
if your motivation is coming from like a good place
or more like negative body image place. I think that
(17:08):
more and more celebrities have access to things that we
don't have access to too, and so I think that
that is tricky because you think, oh well, and they
sort of slowly evolve over time, and then the next
thing you know, you're like, oh wow, And plastic surgeons
are even saying they get especially the Kardashian family that's
(17:30):
a popular one, like they keep showing like I want
to look like them. But then you know, at one point,
I think the other day we were talking about a
story where Kim Kardashian had possible allegedly but implants but
then she was seeing somewhere else in her butt look smaller,
so did she have them taken out? And then we
were discussing, well, oh no, what about all the people
that got them put in because they wanted to look
like him? And then what do we do when she
(17:51):
gets them taken out? And it's like the body bodies
different trends of like what is by society standards, And
I'm saying that in air quotes can't see, but it
is what society has deemed like hot at the moment
has changed decade to decades, and so it's almost like
(18:16):
for some people right now, I feel like lips are
a big thing and literally like a big thing, and
with some of the younger people, and I see it.
And I have dabbled in lip injections before, not recently,
but in the last I don't know, probably six or
(18:39):
seven years at some point it's or six or seven
years ago. Maybe it's the first time that ever had
any of that done. And it was not good. No,
you know, like the first time round that I was
getting it done and it was out of control. And
thankfully I would have people that would share with me,
because kind of when you're in it, you don't see it,
and I have I is in the middle of any newsorder.
(19:01):
I had a very distorted view of myself. I didn't
have a lot of confidence. I probably shouldn't have been
getting that done because I wasn't taking time and sitting
with the decision and then assessing it after it got
done and then realized, okay, I should probably stop, like
I need to massage this out. It is not good.
And that's you know, when I said, looking back on
some pictures, like I can see some of that, and
(19:22):
then that's why I enjoy my face person carry is
because again it's what she does all day long, so
she's willing to do, you know, whatever she thinks is
best on a client. But I also have the power
as the client or as the patient to go in
and have my voice and make sure that she knows like, hey,
I want to be super conservative in this area and
(19:45):
here's what I've looked like before, and I don't look
someone different. Do not do this to me, or I'm
going to be very unhappy. And you have to find
someone too, that is going to listen to you. You
have to make sure that you're trusting yourself with someone
where they're not going to make you feel a certain way,
and go in with that confidence because again, because they're
(20:07):
around it all the time, so they might be throwing
out things left and right like oh do this, do this,
do this because it's fun for them and it's their
job and they love It's like art for sure. Yeah,
And so you have to be in a confident place
to where you're not like oh okay, yes, yes, yes,
grab bag, do it all, because then that's where I
think things can get out of hand too. Oh yeah,
(20:29):
that even makes me think about like if you've ever
gone to get like your hair cut, and you don't
really have like an ideas. You kind of just like
leave it up to your stylist and then you leave
and you're like, what if I done Like this is
not what I should have done? So yeah, I think
having an idea of like what you want and not
like and not that that's to say that like people
who are doing botox and other cosmetic things are just
(20:51):
gonna like try and throw you things that maybe wouldn't
look good, but like you said, obviously like they enjoyed
doing it. It's going to be easy for all these
things to pile on. I think what's also important you
mentioned this of like having friends that can even kind
of like I guess I call you out in like
a like supportive way, because it can be especially if
(21:12):
you've gotten like botox or lip filler or anything for
like a decent amount of time, it must can be
hard to remember like what you look like before, and
so I feel like your friends or someone that's not
seeing you every single day is more able to notice.
Like I think you might be going like a little overboard,
but like I feel like we all have those type
(21:34):
of friends where it's like you can have this kind
of conversation. So I think having those people in your
life is huge too, So then you're able. I mean,
I think this whole conversation, like it's not like we
just with body image in general, ever reach a point
where we're like a competent feel great every day in
our body. So even this whole topic around like botox,
(21:54):
cosmetic things, all that sort of stuff, it probably will
be like an ongoing thing that listeners may need to
ask themselves to see, like, Okay, how am I feeling
now in my body? Like I have a Boat Talks
pointment coming up, like is this coming from a good place?
Do I need to reassess like my motivation for doing this,
like kind of just continuing to be like curious and knowing.
(22:17):
Like I think we've said multiple times throughout like it's
not to say that you need to convince yourself not
to get it or to get it. It's just like
being thoughtful about the decision because with I mean going
back to social media, it's so easy to just like
jump and make these rash decisions of like Okay, I
want to look like her, let me go get Boat
Talks her. Let me get lip filler or I mean,
I feel like, think about lips. I feel like there's
(22:38):
so many filters out there that like make people's lips
look bigger, and so then you're like, oh my gosh,
the lips look so good. But then you see, like, wait,
I think that's to filter they're using, so that might
not even be really their lips, right, So yeah, social media,
we don't need to compare ourselves to others at all.
And then yeah, similar to what we talk about with
you know, on out way with food and body and stuff,
(23:00):
like what accounts are you following that are constantly putting
things into your head about if they're doing you know
what I ate in a day. That's okay for some
people to follow, but if you're in recovery from something
and if this is something you're assessing. I know that
I have followed certain plastic surgeons before just because I'm
fascinated with their work, But then I start to see
more and more stuff because it really is kind of
(23:22):
crazy some things they can do. And I also love
watching Dr pemple Bupper videos like I am here for
that sort of thing. And I got to where sometimes
I was using it as a distraction, and then I
started talking about certain things more. And I had a
friend that even said, Hey, you know, this is something
(23:43):
I hadn't even thought about on myself, but I feel
like I hear you talking about it on yourself a
little too much, and now it's making me feel like,
do I need to do something? And so and she
said that she realized it once she was hanging out
with a different group of friends and that's they weren't
talking about that at all, and she realized. And so
I was thankful for that conversation, and you know, in
(24:07):
a kind way sort of just being called out of like, oh,
but I knew what I was doing. I was using
it as a distraction because I had a lot going
on in life at the time, and I wasn't doing
anything to myself, but I was obsessed with, like watching
some before and after stuff. And so pay attention to
what is going on in your life at the moment.
Are you looking for a distraction? Are you numbing out
(24:29):
in any other ways? Because then whatever it is it's
going on gets pushed down further and further, and then
there's this underlying thing that's going to exist there and
you're never going to truly be happy, even if you
chase it with different procedures. And Dylan, you know, to
the multiple times the Botox pharmaceutical umbrella. I'm not gonna
(24:50):
say specific names yet because I still don't really know
exactly where we've landed, but multiple times I passed on
them doing any kind of endorsements on the show because again,
I never want people to hear that and get a
conflicting message of like, oh, you're wanting people to love
and accept themselves, but then you know you've got this advertisement,
and it's just such a tricky place to be because also,
(25:12):
I don't want to be a hypocrite because I get bots,
but I don't I don't make that a main topic
of conversation because again I don't want people to feel
like they have to get bots. But I also don't
want to be you know, not share certain things. So
it's a weird place. But I think if I have
conversations like this at the same time, then two things
(25:37):
can exist at the same time. Yeah. Absolutely, And that's
why I mean, I think it's like the conversation is
like the huge piece, and I think that's probably what's
different now than maybe was the case. I don't know
ten twenty years ago when like people were getting BOT
talk but maybe not talking about it at all, So
it'd be easy to just think like, oh my gosh,
like her skin looks beautiful, Like how how in the
(25:59):
world is it like that? Um, and not that everyone
has to just like go around and be like, Okay,
here's all that I like get done, Like you need
to know everything. But I think just being open about
it in conversations you have, especially then again going back
to friends, so that you can have people who like
are just calling you out if needed, but also you
(26:20):
can have those just like body image type conversations with
as well. But yeah, that that is tough when it
comes to something like an advertisement on like your podcast.
I think with things like that too, it's like all
the way in which you talk about it or the
way in which like, if I think about like an
ad for example, like if it was something that it
was like finally feel like great in your body, Like
(26:42):
I feel like the way the ad is worded would
help also show your message of like if it's kind
of making it seem like, oh, get po talks and
like all your dreams will finally come true and like
you'll finally feel good in your body versus like looking
for an extra little competence. But like I think with
all that sort of stuff, it's like the way that
we things. And again, our thoughts beneath them play a
(27:02):
big role. I used to do juice cleans reads all
the time, and I was still under contract to do some,
and I would go back and forth like, hey, I
(27:23):
don't want to say just juice for three to five days.
Can I talk about the benefits of a juice and
the nutrients citizenside juice when you're juicing or something, but
still say you can eat food. And it's just it
was a tricky place to be because I didn't want
(27:45):
to be apologizing for endorsing cleanses because I mean, I
used to do juices all the time. That was the
way I lived, because it was a binge restrict cycle.
It's like, oh a too much well juice t to
juice clean for right. And so I do think that
there are benefits to a cleans of sorts if you're
(28:08):
doing them for the health benefits. And again, but I'm
not a registered Dietitian Bilan you are, so this is
just my personal opinion of that. I do think that
there is some truth to the science behind that and
self turnover in different things and giving your digestion a break.
But me, with someone with an eating disorder past, it's
(28:28):
not good for me. But someone else that maybe doesn't
have issues with that, they can enter a clean such
as that and it not really affect them. They're not
going to get all messed up with it. And I
got messed up with it for years. So all that
to say, I love juice, but I don't want to
say don't eat food and only drink juice for days
(28:51):
and days at a time. Yes, And that's exactly how
I would say it with something like a juice cleans,
where like, there's some people out there who could probably
do it, and I've always had a great relationship with food.
Maybe they're doing it genuinely just for like cell turnover
digestion like you mentioned, but I feel like there's lots
of people that I mean, I think about myself too.
(29:11):
If I were to deduce cleans again, it probably wouldn't
be a great idea just because of how the reason
I've done them in the past, But with the great
benefits that are in something like juice, I could still
have it like after a yoga class or as of
you know, something random throughout the day. It doesn't mean
you can never drink juice again, yeah, because that can
(29:32):
be a hard hard thing for people to finding that
like middle ground, right, which I think is also this
conversation around the botox or another cosmetic procedures, finding that
that middle ground of who falls into the category of
and you have to be self aware and I wasn't
aware for many, many, many many years. And I still
(29:53):
have work to do and I'm still working on things,
and I I'm having this conversation because it's something that's
in my head too, and I hope that for other
people this will be helpful to assess why you're getting
something done. Is it to feel more confident? And it
is okay to do that. That's why again we've talked
(30:13):
about coloring hair. Some people get braces or different retainers
to straighten your teeth. There's all different types out there now.
But there might be different things that you're doing that
give you confidence. But nobody, there's no there's not a
really a stigma around braces or anything like that because
that's just, oh, that's what you do if you're able
to do it, you do it so in a way
(30:36):
though straightening your smile or getting rid of a few
wrinkles here and there, that those fall in the same box. Yeah,
I mean I would say so, I think it still
it would just go back to like, Okay, why am
I doing this because even like whitening your teeth in
the same box that's like straightening your teeth, getting rid
of wrinkles, or like reducing rinkles. It's like none of
(30:57):
those are bad, but it's like, okay, if I'm straightening
my teeth just because like this is the only thing
that's gonna help my body image. And I mean I
feel like something like straightening your teeth maybe is even
like a little bit more nuance, because sure, having straighter
teeth maybe will improve your body image, But is that
like the only thing that you're like hanging your hat on.
(31:18):
Is like I won't be able to feel confident in
my body until I straighten my teeth, because then that
shows there's like more that can be done there, same
thing that would be around like wrinkles, Like, am I
only gonna feel confident in my body if I don't
have wrinkles? Or is this can I already feel confident
in my body as it is now, and then this
is just kind of like an extra thing, just like
(31:40):
I mean, same thing with like buying a fun new outfit,
like you're probably gonna feel more comfortable in that than
like leggings in a T shirt. But it's all in
like the mindset behind it all as well, So doing
it to feel more confident versus doing it because without it,
you're going to feel completely negative about yourself. Yeah, that's
what you need. A set us and find friends that
(32:01):
you can talk to you about it that will be
honest with you. And then if you're going to get
it done and maybe for the first time, then also
ask friends who they have gone to and who they recommend.
I feel like I don't just go to any old place,
like that's like blinking light for one, Like maybe that's
what you need to avoid. Yes, yeah, because I wonder
(32:23):
sometimes what I've gotten done. And luckily Carrie is amazing
and she used to be a neo natal nurse, so
she's actually very you know that's working with babies and
having to inject them, she is very gentle. I think
the first time I actually ever got botox, though I
was in North Carolina. I got it for my thirtieth birthday.
I remember being so nervous and I went to some doctor.
(32:46):
I think I heard about her from a friend when
I was living there. It was when my husband was
stationed at Fort Bragg. And actually I remember going to
dinner that night and telling my husband and he was
not happy with me, but he just was like, what please,
don't start doing this to your face. You are ying
the way you are like stop. But I don't know
something about turning thirty. So yeah, I went and I
got it done, and I mean it was okay, to
(33:09):
be honest, I don't really remember saying like that big
of a difference. I remember when she was sticking all
these different things I had. I'm like, oh my gosh,
what if she hit some weird vein and then it
goes into my brain and it happens, but it's very surface,
so don't worry. That's not gonna happen. But that's why
I feel very It's because I don't know if at
any moment, like especially around your eyes, like am I
(33:31):
going to get injected and go blind? So that's my ignorance.
But find someone that you trust if you are thinking
about getting it done, and then I am going to
have carry on for an episode talking about all the things,
but we'll talk about other stuff too, like shaving your face.
Have you ever shaved your face? Stillan? Yes, I'm like
so enthralled by the idea. I first learned about it
(33:53):
from living with landon Do you follow her or no?
So that's where I like learned all about it, and
I was like shocked. And now yeah, I do not
as like regularly as I should. But then like every
time I go get a face from like, please derma
plane me because I feel like they do like such
a good job. Derma planing can add up for sure.
(34:14):
But you can order these little tinkle razors off of
Amazon that are basically like a derma plane razor, and
you can get a pack for super cheap, and then
you just kind of have to tinkle your face like
a couple of times a week. Yes, yes, I need
to order some of this, Carrie and I will talk
more about that if y'all want to hear it. But
I hope that this conversation was just helpful if you're
(34:36):
thinking about it. And then again, similar to other accounts
you follow on social and make sure that you're not
inundated with people that are using all the filters all
the time and doing it and why are they using it,
and if they're using them for fun, But then evaluate
how often are you using filters and what is that
doing to mess with your brain? Like if you wake
up in the morning and you look in the mirror,
or after you get ready for the day or a
(34:59):
night out, do you look in the mirror and are
you disappointed because you're kind of used to seeing yourself
with the filter, because then that becomes a problem. Yes,
I like what you said about the filter two of
like if you're using it, because I see that for
some of my clients, Like I think it's you can
almost I mean if you like show up on social
media or like yeah on your stories are in post
(35:20):
and like you put some sort of filter or edit,
then when you like see yourself in real life, it's like,
whoa wait, I don't look like that person. So like
being mindful about how you're editing your own pictures or
filters you're using, just like you're also mindful about like
the people that you're following and like paying attention to
their filters and not taking everything you see on social
(35:40):
media as truth. I just thought of something where you
were saying that, and I laughed out loud because it's
almost like me with a spray tan, Do I get one?
There's this just this confidence boost that just feels so good,
and then about five days later you're like, what happened
after a spray tan? I'm always like I could take
out of the word I feel amazing. Yeah, and then
(36:02):
it starts to fade away in the shower and one
day you just step out and you're like, wait, where
did my glogo? So anyway, let's just keep the conversation going,
y'all and just do what makes you feel your best
and don't worry about judgment from anybody else. I think
that this is a conversation not to sway you to
do one thing or the other. It's just meant for
(36:24):
us to pause when we are making decisions about doing
something that um has to do with our body and
and our confidence, and let's just have some checks and balances. Yes,
that's so good, And Dylan, thank you so much for
you know, bringing this topic up to me. And I
think it's a great one for me to have to
reference again, especially when I'm sitting down with someone like Harry,
(36:47):
I can say, hey, if you haven't listened to this
talk with my friend Dylan, go listen to that as well.
So that way, that's like a checks and balances, that's
a this is a conversation of like, yes, I'm gonna
sit down with an expert on all the different things,
but I also I'm going to sit down with another
expert that has clients that deal with body image stuff
(37:08):
all day long that can help just give us a
healthy space to to to be in because there's a
lot to navigate out there and we're all just doing
our best to be gentle with yourself. Yes, that's good.
And then Dylan can be found Her website is Free
Method Nutrition dot com and then on Instagram at Dylan
(37:29):
Murphy dot r D. And that r D stands for
Registered Dietitian. All right, thank you, Dylan, Yes, thanks for
having me.
Okay, cass up a little food for you so life.
Oh that's pretty Bay, it's pretty beautiful. Thank you for
(00:22):
that for a little moth kicking four. Happy Thursday four.
Thanks fam Amy here and welcome to Part one of
Botox Embody Image Now. Today. The headline is am I
a fraud if I get botox? Now? That is a
(00:45):
question that comes from our guest, Dylan Murphy, and she's
been asking herself that the last few months now. Dylan
is someone that helps clients with their body image every day,
so naturally she was conflicted when it crossed her mind
to get botox for the first time. So you're gonna
hear us talk about that and other cosmetic work from
the right mindset though, like are you doing this to
(01:06):
feel more confident or you doing it because without it
your body image is negative. We're also going to talk
about the role that social media plays and all of this,
and also finding friends who will be honest with you,
and then Part two of this conversation will come out tomorrow.
I normally don't have episodes that release on Fridays, but
I wanted these to live super close to each other,
(01:28):
so you got Part one today. Part two tomorrow and
that will be botox and body image, creating confidence and
answering your questions with the Nashville Beauty Girl now at
the Nashville Beauty Girls her Instagram handle, but her name
is Carrie Claude Dell, and she's gonna be my guest.
And I put up a little Q and a box
in my Instagram and y'all put your skincare botox questions
in there for her, and there was so many. We
(01:50):
got to the ones that we could maybe I might
need to eventually do a part three, but Carrie answers
all of your questions, like what is jelly roll botox?
I didn't even know myself. I didn't even know that
was a thing. And then f y I. We're also
doing a Zero skin Health product giveaway in these episodes,
So shout out to Zero, my favorite skincareline. I use
(02:11):
it every day. Just take a screenshot when you're listening
and share the post in your Instagram stories. And then
if you tag me at Radio Amy, I might pick
someone randomly. I mean I'm going to pick someone. I
guess I might pick you randomly to receive a chat
with carry about your skin care needs. And then some
free zero products. All right, So all that said, here
(02:32):
is part one my chat with Dylan. I am sitting
across from my now friend Dylan Murphy. We're actually both
in Nashville, but we're recording on Zoom because well, you know,
schedules in life. Hey Dylan, Hi Amy. I'm glad to
(02:52):
be back or yeah, I guess I haven't been on
four things, but to be back having a conversation with you. Yes.
So Dylan co hosted three episodes of Outweigh with Me,
which is my podcast that is dedicated to eating disorder recovery.
And Dylan is a registered dietitian and founder of Free
Method Nutrition. And Dylan, you're doing great work for a
(03:14):
lot of people, and I am so thankful for it,
and I was so thankful for our conversations on that way.
But then afterwards we were text messaging and sending voice
when I was back and forth, and you had a
thought about having a conversation on four things about body image,
but extending that into the skincare world, like for the
face botox cosmetic work and just having the right mindset
(03:39):
around that. And so I don't know in your line
of work with you know what you do because y'all
are a nutrition practice that helps people with body image
and food choices and just consistency and health habits. But yeah,
body image does extend to this stuff, and no one's
really talking about it, at least that I have heard of.
So I guess the question that we need to ask
(04:00):
ourselves is are we doing certain things to feel more confident?
Or we doing it because without it, our body image
is completely wrecked and totally negative. Yeah. Yeah, and it's interesting.
I feel like this whole just like thought process for
me around like body image and where things like both
(04:20):
talks and and that sort of thing fits in kind
of sparked from like my own journey, like after I
had my now ten month old son, I started thinking
about like, okay, maybe like I want to get botox
get some help with my tired eyes. And then it
kind of like I think for a second, I had
a moment of like, oh, but would I be like
a fraud if I like got bow Talks. So then
(04:42):
that led me on this like exploration journey around like no,
like there's nothing wrong with getting something like botox or
anything else under that umbrella. I think, like the question
you just asked It all roots back to like what's
motivating that decision, Like if it's one of those things
where it's like, Okay, well I can't leave the house
or show up in pictures or things like that until
(05:03):
I have, you know, my botox appointment. Or is it
like similar to like putting on makeup or getting your
hair colored, where it's like, Okay, I like to do it.
It makes me feel confident, but I'm not afraid to
leave the house or show up places without it, which
and I think for different people the answer may be different.
Some people may realize like, Okay, I think I need
(05:24):
to do a lot more body image work because something
like botox or whatever under that umbrella maybe kind of
putting a band aid on their body image issues. What
advice would you have for someone that's trying to work
through that since you just went through it with yourself,
and how do you decipher whether you're doing something to
(05:46):
feel more confident or if it really is like an
underlying body image issue Because it's very tricky. I've wondered
that about myself, and I'm actually so glad we're having
this conversation because I've got a bonus episode coming up
soon with my skincare person, the Nashville beauty girl, and
when you're in that world, it's just so different, Like
(06:07):
she's around that stuff all day long. So to her
it's very yeah, this is what we do, like that's
that's her field. That's for fassion and doing tweaks here,
this or that is all very normal. And so sometimes
she talks about it in such a nonchalant way because
again that's her wheelhouse. So I wanted to be very
(06:27):
careful even when I have her on. I've had her
on before, but I want to talk about some of
this stuff and get listener questions, you know, if they
have any for her, especially now that I'm in needing
to sort of recovery, Like I know, toxic things. I
used to share about food, embody for stuff that I
didn't think was toxic, but those that were far ahead
(06:49):
of me. Some listeners I would get emails saying, oh,
you know, hey, I say this with kindness, but I
can't listen to your podcast anymore. It's too triggering and
I am cautious about Also content I have on the
podcast now that relates to other things too, and this
is something that this popped up. If I don't want
anybody to ever listen and feel like I'm saying, oh,
(07:09):
in order to look good or feel this certain way,
then you need to go get botox or get this
cosmetic procedure or X y Z. Does that make sense? Yes, yes,
for sure. And I do think it is very like
individual and it's I mean, like I said, it's something
that I'm like even still kind of like trying to
put words to myself because I think I very much
(07:31):
stand by like my thought of like Okay, there's nothing
wrong with getting botox, just like there's nothing wrong with
people coloring their hair. But it all digs like in
doing the inner work for yourself of like okay, where
is my motivation coming from? And like going back to
the question you asked of like okay, how does someone
like figure that out? Of like what is my motivation?
(07:52):
I think even first just seeing like where you're kind
of doing almost like an audit of your body image
and seeing like okay, my like, how do I feel
in my body? Do I feel like I'm have like
neutral body image? Am I like pretty negative about my body?
Do I have positive body image? And I mean most
of us are going to kind of ebb and flow
that whole like spectrum, maybe even in just one given day,
(08:16):
Like you may have a moment where you feel negative,
a moment you feel neutral, a moment you feel positive.
But I think what we want to see is like, Okay,
is this decision to do something like botox rooted out
of this like negative body image place where sure, maybe
it'll help, But at the same time, it's not. It's
more like putting a band aid on it instead of
actually like fixing it versus like, Okay, am I just
(08:39):
in like a neutral place with my body or even
maybe a positive place, and I know that this is
just something that like I want to do it will
make me feel more confident, I like have the financial
means to do it. So yeah, I think it's really
first like getting clear on where you are in your
body image and then seeing like, yeah, am I doing
this because I want to fix how I feel? Or
(09:02):
is this kind of something just like an addition I
want to add into like my self care routine. Because
that's probably how some people end up spiraling too far,
is they're trying to put all these band aids, you know,
And I'm guilty of at times trying out too many
different things and I've looked back at pictures and I'm like, oh, whoa,
you know, goodness, that wasn't permanent. But yeah, I might
(09:25):
have maybe I went in on a more insecure day
and I didn't do some checks and balances. I wonder about,
you know, if you're thinking about doing something, if you're
able to sit with it for a while without having
to just go in and do it, Like, could you
press pause and maybe set a timeline of, Hey, I'm
going to circle back with myself in three months if
(09:47):
I still feel the same way. I've clearly taken the
time to sit with it and and that's something that
I honestly have done myself, and that kind of worked
for me. But I guess for each person the timeline
might be different. Someone might need to sit with it
maybe for one month. Another person might need to sit
with it for a year. I guess, depending on what
you're thinking about having done. But I got to ask, still,
(10:07):
and did you decide to get the photox? So I
want to. I have not yet, mainly because now I'm
like having to commence my husband, not because he's like
cares about any of the aesthetic stuff. He's more like
the financial guy. Of like, do we really have to
spend money on that? So I like have come to
a decision where I'm like, I would be fine, Like
I know if I move forward and get it, it's
(10:30):
coming from like a sound place. Now, it's more like
the financial piece that, yeah, having to kind of work
through that. Well, I'm glad you mentioned that because that
can also be a good indicator as to whether or
not you should move forward with it, because how far
are you willing to go? Are you willing to put
yourself in a bad position and create debt because you're
(10:51):
so desperate to to want that that you see a
lot of other people getting so then it seems desirable
And so that might be something you could add to
your X and balances list of Okay, well, what is
actually reasonable for me to get done? Because there was
a time in my life, even with my skincare products,
that I could not have spent the money that I
spend on certain products that now a forty one. I'm
(11:15):
thankful that I can, but I also don't want other
people to feel like if they're not in that same position.
I don't want to be like, this is the only
skincare line that you should use at all times because
it's the best because I know even in my early
thirties that would have not been something that I had
the extra funds for, and I know have listeners in
all walks of life. So it's just something that stays
(11:37):
at the forefront of my mind of like I want
to give, you know, tips and tricks and different things
that I like and do. But again it's like what
do you have access to? And I would never want
people to feel less than if they can't afford something
that I'm saying yes yes, which I think is like
so important to say, and I think again brings back
(11:58):
to like I think that help you really get clear
on your motivation because yeah, if you realize, like, okay,
why am I having considering this? I know I'm like,
let's say, if it's someone who's like in grad school,
for instance, and they have like tons of student loans,
it's like, maybe that's not something like you even have
the means to do right now, So that's probably a
signed like maybe you have a genuine desire for it,
(12:19):
but also financially maybe it doesn't make sense. Um. It's
kind of similar to what I talk with my clients
about when it comes to like buying foods like organic
first non organic. Like, if you want to buy organic
and like enjoy organic foods, that's great. But what I
tell clients too, is like if we're thinking about like
our health as a whole, if you're like stressed and
(12:39):
like having trouble paying your bills, but you're trying to
buy all organic, we might need to take a step
back and see like maybe we could save some money there.
So yeah, bringing that back, like I think really considering
like all aspects that would kind of be at play
with the decision of like boat talks or something like that.
And I love what you said to about like sitting
(13:00):
with it, because again, what comes to mind for me
is like a decision to like color your hair or
highlight your hair. Like maybe you see a picture on
Instagram of someone with a certain like hair color or
highlights a certain way, and you're like, oh, like I
kind of want to do that, Like that might like
fun in my hair. You're probably not going to like
go do it that next week. You also might want
to sit with it before doing some sort of like
(13:23):
change like that. Um, And I think that'll I mean
I can even speak for me personally, like This is
something I've been kind of like thinking through since I
stopped breastfeeding like four months ago, because obviously there was
like pregnancy and breastfeeding where it wasn't even not chain.
So yeah, I think giving yourself time to think on
it can be huge too. What about social media and
the role that that plays on the desire for botox
(13:48):
or other things that you people might be getting done.
I we're just kind of using botox is like the thing,
but there's Sigilian treatments out there that can get Yes, yes,
I know, it's like any cosmetic treatment. It's funny. I
asked this on my social media, like, I guess it
probably is like two months ago now. Did like one
of those polls on my stories of like do you
(14:09):
think social media has impacted your desire to have botox
or to get it even if you haven't gotten it yet,
and like over we're like, yes, it has impacted me. Um,
And I think if we just think about like filters
that show up on stories now, or the way we
can like edit post and like all of those sort
of like changes, it's so easy to look and consume
(14:33):
information on social media and also just immediately take it
as like that's what someone's skin looks like when it
could be a filter that like makes the skin look
perfectly flawless. So yeah, I mean I think social media
has a big role, and I think that might even
be something to kind of dive deeper into when it
comes to really any sort of like cosmetic self care
(14:54):
type things of like is social media playing an impact
and like how like what do I do you with that?
Because it doesn't mean you need to just like delete
social media or never use a filter again, but it's
just really getting clear for yourself of like, Okay, do
I have like health the relationship with social media or
are there certain people that I need to like un followed?
(15:15):
Do I need to set boundaries for myself with social media?
It'd be interesting to see like the stats of like
how many people get like just any sort of like
cosmetic work done now versus like before social media, because
I wonder if it would be like different. I feel
like I have read articles at some point in time,
like maybe on the Bobby Bones Show stuff has come
(15:36):
up or plastic surgeons have said that. Yeah. Absolutely, since
selfies and filters and social media have come into the picture,
people show up being like this is what I look
like with this filter? Can you make me look like this?
It's like that's not real life, So I don't know,
Or how much money do you have, maybe we can
(15:57):
make you work. Uh, And I mean I think a
lot of to what we see just like in the media, um,
I mean social media especially, but this like message around
like the ideal body and like what you know our
face should look like in our arms and our nose
and our eyes and all these different things. And so
then yeah, kind of challenges us to try and take
(16:17):
our beauty into our own hands. Like Okay, if I
want to like look like this ideal body, then I
need to get like X, Y and Z done so
that I can fit into that mold. But then even
with that kind of tying that to body image, like
asking yourself what you think that would achieve? Like, Okay,
if I was able, if there was even like a
possibility that I could like have that like ideal body
(16:39):
or my face would look like that girl that I
follow on Instagram? Like what do you think would be
different about your life than it is now? And I
think again, some of that can really help unearth, like
if your motivation is coming from like a good place
or more like negative body image place. I think that
(17:08):
more and more celebrities have access to things that we
don't have access to too, and so I think that
that is tricky because you think, oh well, and they
sort of slowly evolve over time, and then the next
thing you know, you're like, oh wow, And plastic surgeons
are even saying they get especially the Kardashian family that's
(17:30):
a popular one, like they keep showing like I want
to look like them. But then you know, at one point,
I think the other day we were talking about a
story where Kim Kardashian had possible allegedly but implants but
then she was seeing somewhere else in her butt look smaller,
so did she have them taken out? And then we
were discussing, well, oh no, what about all the people
that got them put in because they wanted to look
like him? And then what do we do when she
(17:51):
gets them taken out? And it's like the body bodies
different trends of like what is by society standards, And
I'm saying that in air quotes can't see, but it
is what society has deemed like hot at the moment
has changed decade to decades, and so it's almost like
(18:16):
for some people right now, I feel like lips are
a big thing and literally like a big thing, and
with some of the younger people, and I see it.
And I have dabbled in lip injections before, not recently,
but in the last I don't know, probably six or
(18:39):
seven years at some point it's or six or seven
years ago. Maybe it's the first time that ever had
any of that done. And it was not good. No,
you know, like the first time round that I was
getting it done and it was out of control. And
thankfully I would have people that would share with me,
because kind of when you're in it, you don't see it,
and I have I is in the middle of any newsorder.
(19:01):
I had a very distorted view of myself. I didn't
have a lot of confidence. I probably shouldn't have been
getting that done because I wasn't taking time and sitting
with the decision and then assessing it after it got
done and then realized, okay, I should probably stop, like
I need to massage this out. It is not good.
And that's you know, when I said, looking back on
some pictures, like I can see some of that, and
(19:22):
then that's why I enjoy my face person carry is
because again it's what she does all day long, so
she's willing to do, you know, whatever she thinks is
best on a client. But I also have the power
as the client or as the patient to go in
and have my voice and make sure that she knows like, hey,
I want to be super conservative in this area and
(19:45):
here's what I've looked like before, and I don't look
someone different. Do not do this to me, or I'm
going to be very unhappy. And you have to find
someone too, that is going to listen to you. You
have to make sure that you're trusting yourself with someone
where they're not going to make you feel a certain way,
and go in with that confidence because again, because they're
(20:07):
around it all the time, so they might be throwing
out things left and right like oh do this, do this,
do this because it's fun for them and it's their
job and they love It's like art for sure. Yeah,
And so you have to be in a confident place
to where you're not like oh okay, yes, yes, yes,
grab bag, do it all, because then that's where I
think things can get out of hand too. Oh yeah,
(20:29):
that even makes me think about like if you've ever
gone to get like your hair cut, and you don't
really have like an ideas. You kind of just like
leave it up to your stylist and then you leave
and you're like, what if I done Like this is
not what I should have done? So yeah, I think
having an idea of like what you want and not
like and not that that's to say that like people
who are doing botox and other cosmetic things are just
(20:51):
gonna like try and throw you things that maybe wouldn't
look good, but like you said, obviously like they enjoyed
doing it. It's going to be easy for all these
things to pile on. I think what's also important you
mentioned this of like having friends that can even kind
of like I guess I call you out in like
a like supportive way, because it can be especially if
(21:12):
you've gotten like botox or lip filler or anything for
like a decent amount of time, it must can be
hard to remember like what you look like before, and
so I feel like your friends or someone that's not
seeing you every single day is more able to notice.
Like I think you might be going like a little overboard,
but like I feel like we all have those type
(21:34):
of friends where it's like you can have this kind
of conversation. So I think having those people in your
life is huge too, So then you're able. I mean,
I think this whole conversation, like it's not like we
just with body image in general, ever reach a point
where we're like a competent feel great every day in
our body. So even this whole topic around like botox,
(21:54):
cosmetic things, all that sort of stuff, it probably will
be like an ongoing thing that listeners may need to
ask themselves to see, like, Okay, how am I feeling
now in my body? Like I have a Boat Talks
pointment coming up, like is this coming from a good place?
Do I need to reassess like my motivation for doing this,
like kind of just continuing to be like curious and knowing.
(22:17):
Like I think we've said multiple times throughout like it's
not to say that you need to convince yourself not
to get it or to get it. It's just like
being thoughtful about the decision because with I mean going
back to social media, it's so easy to just like
jump and make these rash decisions of like Okay, I
want to look like her, let me go get Boat
Talks her. Let me get lip filler or I mean,
I feel like, think about lips. I feel like there's
(22:38):
so many filters out there that like make people's lips
look bigger, and so then you're like, oh my gosh,
the lips look so good. But then you see, like, wait,
I think that's to filter they're using, so that might
not even be really their lips, right, So yeah, social media,
we don't need to compare ourselves to others at all.
And then yeah, similar to what we talk about with
you know, on out way with food and body and stuff,
(23:00):
like what accounts are you following that are constantly putting
things into your head about if they're doing you know
what I ate in a day. That's okay for some
people to follow, but if you're in recovery from something
and if this is something you're assessing. I know that
I have followed certain plastic surgeons before just because I'm
fascinated with their work, But then I start to see
more and more stuff because it really is kind of
(23:22):
crazy some things they can do. And I also love
watching Dr pemple Bupper videos like I am here for
that sort of thing. And I got to where sometimes
I was using it as a distraction, and then I
started talking about certain things more. And I had a
friend that even said, Hey, you know, this is something
(23:43):
I hadn't even thought about on myself, but I feel
like I hear you talking about it on yourself a
little too much, and now it's making me feel like,
do I need to do something? And so and she
said that she realized it once she was hanging out
with a different group of friends and that's they weren't
talking about that at all, and she realized. And so
I was thankful for that conversation, and you know, in
(24:07):
a kind way sort of just being called out of like, oh,
but I knew what I was doing. I was using
it as a distraction because I had a lot going
on in life at the time, and I wasn't doing
anything to myself, but I was obsessed with, like watching
some before and after stuff. And so pay attention to
what is going on in your life at the moment.
Are you looking for a distraction? Are you numbing out
(24:29):
in any other ways? Because then whatever it is it's
going on gets pushed down further and further, and then
there's this underlying thing that's going to exist there and
you're never going to truly be happy, even if you
chase it with different procedures. And Dylan, you know, to
the multiple times the Botox pharmaceutical umbrella. I'm not gonna
(24:50):
say specific names yet because I still don't really know
exactly where we've landed, but multiple times I passed on
them doing any kind of endorsements on the show because again,
I never want people to hear that and get a
conflicting message of like, oh, you're wanting people to love
and accept themselves, but then you know you've got this advertisement,
and it's just such a tricky place to be because also,
(25:12):
I don't want to be a hypocrite because I get bots,
but I don't I don't make that a main topic
of conversation because again I don't want people to feel
like they have to get bots. But I also don't
want to be you know, not share certain things. So
it's a weird place. But I think if I have
conversations like this at the same time, then two things
(25:37):
can exist at the same time. Yeah. Absolutely, And that's
why I mean, I think it's like the conversation is
like the huge piece, and I think that's probably what's
different now than maybe was the case. I don't know
ten twenty years ago when like people were getting BOT
talk but maybe not talking about it at all, So
it'd be easy to just think like, oh my gosh,
like her skin looks beautiful, Like how how in the
(25:59):
world is it like that? Um, and not that everyone
has to just like go around and be like, Okay,
here's all that I like get done, Like you need
to know everything. But I think just being open about
it in conversations you have, especially then again going back
to friends, so that you can have people who like
are just calling you out if needed, but also you
(26:20):
can have those just like body image type conversations with
as well. But yeah, that that is tough when it
comes to something like an advertisement on like your podcast.
I think with things like that too, it's like all
the way in which you talk about it or the
way in which like, if I think about like an
ad for example, like if it was something that it
was like finally feel like great in your body, Like
(26:42):
I feel like the way the ad is worded would
help also show your message of like if it's kind
of making it seem like, oh, get po talks and
like all your dreams will finally come true and like
you'll finally feel good in your body versus like looking
for an extra little competence. But like I think with
all that sort of stuff, it's like the way that
we things. And again, our thoughts beneath them play a
(27:02):
big role. I used to do juice cleans reads all
the time, and I was still under contract to do some,
and I would go back and forth like, hey, I
(27:23):
don't want to say just juice for three to five days.
Can I talk about the benefits of a juice and
the nutrients citizenside juice when you're juicing or something, but
still say you can eat food. And it's just it
was a tricky place to be because I didn't want
(27:45):
to be apologizing for endorsing cleanses because I mean, I
used to do juices all the time. That was the
way I lived, because it was a binge restrict cycle.
It's like, oh a too much well juice t to
juice clean for right. And so I do think that
there are benefits to a cleans of sorts if you're
(28:08):
doing them for the health benefits. And again, but I'm
not a registered Dietitian Bilan you are, so this is
just my personal opinion of that. I do think that
there is some truth to the science behind that and
self turnover in different things and giving your digestion a break.
But me, with someone with an eating disorder past, it's
(28:28):
not good for me. But someone else that maybe doesn't
have issues with that, they can enter a clean such
as that and it not really affect them. They're not
going to get all messed up with it. And I
got messed up with it for years. So all that
to say, I love juice, but I don't want to
say don't eat food and only drink juice for days
(28:51):
and days at a time. Yes, And that's exactly how
I would say it with something like a juice cleans,
where like, there's some people out there who could probably
do it, and I've always had a great relationship with food.
Maybe they're doing it genuinely just for like cell turnover
digestion like you mentioned, but I feel like there's lots
of people that I mean, I think about myself too.
(29:11):
If I were to deduce cleans again, it probably wouldn't
be a great idea just because of how the reason
I've done them in the past, But with the great
benefits that are in something like juice, I could still
have it like after a yoga class or as of
you know, something random throughout the day. It doesn't mean
you can never drink juice again, yeah, because that can
(29:32):
be a hard hard thing for people to finding that
like middle ground, right, which I think is also this
conversation around the botox or another cosmetic procedures, finding that
that middle ground of who falls into the category of
and you have to be self aware and I wasn't
aware for many, many, many many years. And I still
(29:53):
have work to do and I'm still working on things,
and I I'm having this conversation because it's something that's
in my head too, and I hope that for other
people this will be helpful to assess why you're getting
something done. Is it to feel more confident? And it
is okay to do that. That's why again we've talked
(30:13):
about coloring hair. Some people get braces or different retainers
to straighten your teeth. There's all different types out there now.
But there might be different things that you're doing that
give you confidence. But nobody, there's no there's not a
really a stigma around braces or anything like that because
that's just, oh, that's what you do if you're able
to do it, you do it so in a way
(30:36):
though straightening your smile or getting rid of a few
wrinkles here and there, that those fall in the same box. Yeah,
I mean I would say so, I think it still
it would just go back to like, Okay, why am
I doing this because even like whitening your teeth in
the same box that's like straightening your teeth, getting rid
of wrinkles, or like reducing rinkles. It's like none of
(30:57):
those are bad, but it's like, okay, if I'm straightening
my teeth just because like this is the only thing
that's gonna help my body image. And I mean I
feel like something like straightening your teeth maybe is even
like a little bit more nuance, because sure, having straighter
teeth maybe will improve your body image, But is that
like the only thing that you're like hanging your hat on.
(31:18):
Is like I won't be able to feel confident in
my body until I straighten my teeth, because then that
shows there's like more that can be done there, same
thing that would be around like wrinkles, Like, am I
only gonna feel confident in my body if I don't
have wrinkles? Or is this can I already feel confident
in my body as it is now, and then this
is just kind of like an extra thing, just like
(31:40):
I mean, same thing with like buying a fun new outfit,
like you're probably gonna feel more comfortable in that than
like leggings in a T shirt. But it's all in
like the mindset behind it all as well, So doing
it to feel more confident versus doing it because without it,
you're going to feel completely negative about yourself. Yeah, that's
what you need. A set us and find friends that
(32:01):
you can talk to you about it that will be
honest with you. And then if you're going to get
it done and maybe for the first time, then also
ask friends who they have gone to and who they recommend.
I feel like I don't just go to any old place,
like that's like blinking light for one, Like maybe that's
what you need to avoid. Yes, yeah, because I wonder
(32:23):
sometimes what I've gotten done. And luckily Carrie is amazing
and she used to be a neo natal nurse, so
she's actually very you know that's working with babies and
having to inject them, she is very gentle. I think
the first time I actually ever got botox, though I
was in North Carolina. I got it for my thirtieth birthday.
I remember being so nervous and I went to some doctor.
(32:46):
I think I heard about her from a friend when
I was living there. It was when my husband was
stationed at Fort Bragg. And actually I remember going to
dinner that night and telling my husband and he was
not happy with me, but he just was like, what please,
don't start doing this to your face. You are ying
the way you are like stop. But I don't know
something about turning thirty. So yeah, I went and I
got it done, and I mean it was okay, to
(33:09):
be honest, I don't really remember saying like that big
of a difference. I remember when she was sticking all
these different things I had. I'm like, oh my gosh,
what if she hit some weird vein and then it
goes into my brain and it happens, but it's very surface,
so don't worry. That's not gonna happen. But that's why
I feel very It's because I don't know if at
any moment, like especially around your eyes, like am I
(33:31):
going to get injected and go blind? So that's my ignorance.
But find someone that you trust if you are thinking
about getting it done, and then I am going to
have carry on for an episode talking about all the things,
but we'll talk about other stuff too, like shaving your face.
Have you ever shaved your face? Stillan? Yes, I'm like
so enthralled by the idea. I first learned about it
(33:53):
from living with landon Do you follow her or no?
So that's where I like learned all about it, and
I was like shocked. And now yeah, I do not
as like regularly as I should. But then like every
time I go get a face from like, please derma
plane me because I feel like they do like such
a good job. Derma planing can add up for sure.
(34:14):
But you can order these little tinkle razors off of
Amazon that are basically like a derma plane razor, and
you can get a pack for super cheap, and then
you just kind of have to tinkle your face like
a couple of times a week. Yes, yes, I need
to order some of this, Carrie and I will talk
more about that if y'all want to hear it. But
I hope that this conversation was just helpful if you're
(34:36):
thinking about it. And then again, similar to other accounts
you follow on social and make sure that you're not
inundated with people that are using all the filters all
the time and doing it and why are they using it,
and if they're using them for fun, But then evaluate
how often are you using filters and what is that
doing to mess with your brain? Like if you wake
up in the morning and you look in the mirror,
or after you get ready for the day or a
(34:59):
night out, do you look in the mirror and are
you disappointed because you're kind of used to seeing yourself
with the filter, because then that becomes a problem. Yes,
I like what you said about the filter two of
like if you're using it, because I see that for
some of my clients, Like I think it's you can
almost I mean if you like show up on social
media or like yeah on your stories are in post
(35:20):
and like you put some sort of filter or edit,
then when you like see yourself in real life, it's like,
whoa wait, I don't look like that person. So like
being mindful about how you're editing your own pictures or
filters you're using, just like you're also mindful about like
the people that you're following and like paying attention to
their filters and not taking everything you see on social
(35:40):
media as truth. I just thought of something where you
were saying that, and I laughed out loud because it's
almost like me with a spray tan, Do I get one?
There's this just this confidence boost that just feels so good,
and then about five days later you're like, what happened
after a spray tan? I'm always like I could take
out of the word I feel amazing. Yeah, and then
(36:02):
it starts to fade away in the shower and one
day you just step out and you're like, wait, where
did my glogo? So anyway, let's just keep the conversation going,
y'all and just do what makes you feel your best
and don't worry about judgment from anybody else. I think
that this is a conversation not to sway you to
do one thing or the other. It's just meant for
(36:24):
us to pause when we are making decisions about doing
something that um has to do with our body and
and our confidence, and let's just have some checks and balances. Yes,
that's so good, And Dylan, thank you so much for
you know, bringing this topic up to me. And I
think it's a great one for me to have to
reference again, especially when I'm sitting down with someone like Harry,
(36:47):
I can say, hey, if you haven't listened to this
talk with my friend Dylan, go listen to that as well.
So that way, that's like a checks and balances, that's
a this is a conversation of like, yes, I'm gonna
sit down with an expert on all the different things,
but I also I'm going to sit down with another
expert that has clients that deal with body image stuff
(37:08):
all day long that can help just give us a
healthy space to to to be in because there's a
lot to navigate out there and we're all just doing
our best to be gentle with yourself. Yes, that's good.
And then Dylan can be found Her website is Free
Method Nutrition dot com and then on Instagram at Dylan
(37:29):
Murphy dot r D. And that r D stands for
Registered Dietitian. All right, thank you, Dylan, Yes, thanks for
having me.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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