Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy New Year. Well, happy Tuesday and happy New Year.
Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and I'm Cat,
and this is our first fifth Thing of the year,
obviously because it's the first Tuesday of the year. Well,
this is the first time I'm seeing Cat this year too.
I haven't seen you since. I feel like I just
saw you. I know you saw me right before Christmas,
(00:25):
but I feel like I saw you like three days ago. No,
you definitely didn't, because I went on quite the adventure
over Christmas break and you were not back there. And
it was hands down. I've traveled in third world countries,
you know, Ethiopia, Haiti, other countries. This was the worst
experience of my life. I'm not exaggerating. We don't need
(00:45):
to get into all, like all the details, but everything
just kept going wrong, like these twists and turns and
all the different things. And we'll get to our quote.
I know we normally started with a quote, but since
we're talking about this, I will say I was at
the grocery store yesterday and I ran into our face
of Donald Miller Don don you know, Don, I'm over
in the vegetable section and I hear Amy, and I
(01:06):
look up it's Don and his wife Betsy, and I'm like, oh, hey, Don, Betsy,
we hug. And then I just look at him and
I said, this is so crazy. I'm seeing you right
now because at the time that I was seeing him,
the day before, I had put up an Instagram post
about his saying what does this make possible? Because that's
(01:27):
what he taught us. And I feel as though I've
always had a positive perspective on things, or I've tried
to find the good. I don't want to wallow in
the negative. But when he gave us that question what
does this make possible when he was on the podcast
last year, It's just such a great way to shift
the mindset but also recognize that something is really crappy,
(01:49):
that we're not ignoring this, but what does this now
make possible? And so I did a whole post of
all the things that were made possible on my family
vacation gone wrong, and there was so many cool things
that were possible, and I got to tell Don about
it next to the Avocados public. What did Don say?
He was like, that is so cool, thank you for
(02:11):
sharing that. And then our mutual friend Ali Fallon, I
talked to her later and I said, don probably thinks
I'm the psychotic fan person because I was like, oh
my gosh, I just do host about you. And Ali
said no, It's always good for people that are putting
work out into the world to be reminded that something
(02:31):
they said or wrote impacted someone. And then that made
me feel less crazy person in the produce section. But
it was really cool. And you if you want to
see all the things radio Amy as my handle, and
you can see the things that were made possible from
horrible travel. And you know, even when I was at
(02:52):
the Denver Airport on my way to Colorado, I don't know,
I do want to I want to hear about well.
I thought on the way the Colorado was going to
be the worst part because I was like, this is
I've never experienced anything like this, Flights getting canceled, waiting
at airports forever, my luggage being lost for eight to
ten hours, and then no connecting flights. So then a
family member had to drive five hours one way and
(03:12):
five hours back, so ten hours round trip to get me,
which shout out to my sister's husband and my brother
in law Bindo's er whoop boo. But what's crazy too.
Is my brother in law's dad was very close to
my mom, him and his wife, so I won't get
into much of the weeds, but his dad was willing
to come get me. I kind of got worried. I
got a text from someone else like, hey, Dirk's gonna
(03:34):
come get you, And the minute I read that, I
just started bawling, crying. And I think it's because I
just felt my mom, because those are my mom's people,
even though because it's not your brother in law's dad,
it's your mom's friends reaching out to help you. Yes,
like saying hey, we got you, and they were friends
with my dad too, but it was more so my
(03:55):
mom's people and not having you know, sometimes you just
want to call your mom and your dad. Yes, that
was a moment where I wanted to even though it
was just travel. But it was so stressful and I
didn't know what to do. I was like, should I
rent a car? Should I try to drive? And then
I'm not good at driving through mountain passes, Like I
don't I don't need to be doing that in weird weather. Anyway,
Thankfully I got to ride, but when I got went
(04:17):
to the counter, I waited in this line for almost
two hours to get to a counter to see where
my luggage was, and she said, oh, yeah, we've located it,
but it's going to take about eight to ten hours
to get it down here to Carrosel sixteen. What in
the airport. Yeah, they had it there because it didn't
make the connector, and that's why I was stuck. I
was supposed to connect to somewhere else that's closer to
(04:38):
my sister's, not five hours. But then everything was just
shutting down. But also what that made possible was me
to go to the airport bar by myself, and I
read my book and I had a little cocktail, and
then eventually I got my luggage, and then I got
a hotel room. I wasn't planning on spending the night
(04:59):
in Denver. I did my sister's husband. I got him
a hotel room. We both once he got in it
like midnight. We woke up the next morning and drove
to Pocosa. But any Hoosie, I met people when I
was waiting in line. There was luggage and people everywhere.
It was mayhem where people being extra rude or was
there extra behind? There was kind people and there's very
(05:21):
rude people, and I got to say that the rude
ones were quite entertaining. I don't I didn't like it.
I hated that some of the staff members, like one
staff member told us, one lady, you have no idea.
We were so understaffed, We had so many people calling sick.
Look at all this look around. We were doing the
best that we can. And I felt so bad. But
then also traveler wise, you know, on that end, I
(05:44):
was feeling frustrated about my luggage and my miss connection
and my you know, sitting there for eight hours being like, okay,
is that my bag? But there was people there that
I met that had been there for two days and
they were going to miss Christmas because Denver was not
their final destination, and nowhere near Denver was their final destination.
That was the day that Southwest started canceling thousands of flights,
(06:07):
and so there was people there that were like, I
don't know. I guess I'm just gonna turn around and
go home once I can get a flight because I
have to go back to work, and now I have
no idea where my luggage is. And this one woman,
she was complaining because I don't know her plane had
landed an hour ago and she can find her luggage,
and this other lady goes, excuse me, I've been here
since last night waiting for my luggage. So basically, shut up,
(06:30):
sit down, Yeah, sit down. So that's just that was
just on my way there. Then all my way home,
everything was going wrong. I cried almost every day, but
that was okay. So many cool things were made possible,
and I'm so glad that we had that outlook. So
I put up that post at radio. I mean, so
y'all can see it. But it's a great question to
(06:52):
ask yourself because it's the beginning of the year, and
guess what A lot of stuff is going to go
wrong this year. Sorry, I hate to break it to you.
I don't know that of ever is anybody ever had
a year where just everything's amazing. So don't forget that question.
Keep it in your back pocket. Did you have to
use it this Christmas break? Okay? I was going to
say when we're ask me that I love that question,
(07:15):
and I feel like I have been using it a
lot this year, But in the last couple of weeks,
I've struggled to be able to access it, even though
I know it's in my brain for example, and I
texted you this this morning. It was this morning. I
tellt you this morning. I wish I could channel your
attitude right now, because sometimes when you're in the thick
(07:36):
of it, it is so hard to actually ask that
question and actually sit there and really think about what's
going on, because if I don't know how I would
have handled what you went through. But this morning, well,
by the way, I don't want people to think that's
all I went through. The different reports. There's so many
other things, but like, we don't we don't have all day.
So I'm just clarifying because it feels sort of trivial
(07:59):
when that doesn't feel trivial to me. I don't know.
I saw people, they were missing. I got to have
Christmas Day with my family. Well, but you didn't know
what was You had no idea for that period of time.
And even before you left, you almost didn't leave Nashville, Yeah,
because it was negative one degrees and snowing, and it
never does that here. That's why I was delayed. To Patrick,
I kept being like, Amy finally took off on her flight,
(08:21):
Like I think I said that like four times, and
I was like, wait, no, she didn't she's still here
because we sat on the Nashville tarmac. I've never sat
on a plane that long. It was hours, and I thought,
why did they even board us? I think they thought
we were gonna be able to take off, and I
was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be one of
those flights where people start freaking out, or they have
to deliver us food or we can't use the bathroom.
(08:41):
What did you do just sitting there for? You know,
I read my book and I sat there. I texted
stuff like that, keep going okay, gold, bigel, bigl So okay.
So this morning I cried over assessed me Bagel, and
I texted Amy. It was after I was crying, and
I said, I wish you could channeling your attitude because
I knew it wasn't that big a deal. It wasn't
(09:03):
your situation. Like I cried over Bagel. You, I'm assuming
that you cried at some point in the airport. Oh
at the different report I got three times? Okay, But
this morning I woke up and I wanted to do
something nice for my boyfriend because he always does really
nice things. If I asked him to go somewhere, he'll
do it. Like he's just kind. So I said to myself,
I said, Patrick, I'm going to go get you breakfast today.
(09:27):
I'm not gonna order breakfast. I'm not gonna make you breagast.
I'm gonna get you break We call him Big pr
so I can't believe I used his real name. So
the Big said, I'm gonna get you breakfast. What do
you want? I knew who was gonna want a bagel?
So I researched new bagel places because I was tired
of going to the place that he likes. So I
find this new place. I drive there and it's closed.
Not a big deal, but kind of frustrating because it's
(09:49):
kind of to me far. It's fifteen whole minutes away
from my house. And so I said, okay, it's closed.
I'm just gonna go to the bagel place that he likes.
And I get there and as Sue, as I walk in,
twenty people walking behind me. So at first I was like,
oh good, this is like a sign from God that
I got here at the right time. Now everything went
to you know what? So I ordered my bagel. She says,
(10:13):
what did you order? Again? After literally after I just
ordered it, So I repeated to her really simple, sess
me bagel butter. Can you remembers me bagel butter? So anyway,
I get it. And meanwhile, the girl that ordered before
me comes back in immediately after she gets her bagel.
She comes in and she said, hey, I ordered a
(10:35):
bagel with bacon on it. You just gave me a
bagel with avocado on it. Can I get the bacon
on my bagel? After her repeating that story about three
times until they understood what she was saying, they took
her bagel, and then they gave her back a bag
about ten minutes later, and she said, there's no bagel
in this bag. And I said, what are you talking about?
She's like, I need There's no bagel in the bag
(10:56):
that you just gave me. There's nothing in here. She's like,
you just wanted bacon. I wanted bacon all my bagel,
but you took my bagel, and so now I just
have bacon. So I should have taken note of that.
So I get myself. I go, I text Big Pee
and I say, this is the most inefficient place I've
ever been in my life. But it's fine because I
got breakfast. I'm excited to give it to you. We
(11:16):
get to my house, he's opening up. He's so excited.
Oh this is my favorite bagel. Thank you so much
for doing this. And I'm like, oh, you're welcome. And
I opened my bagel. Do you remember what I ordered?
Assasin me with butter? Okay, I got assasiny bagel and
at first I was like, oh, this is so much better.
It was chunky. I don't know what kind of cream
cheese it was, but it was cream cheese, was some
(11:37):
kind of colorful chunks in it. And if you know me,
you know that cheeses can really gross me out, including
cream cheese. So I couldn't eat it. And I just
slammed it together and I said, well, I can't eat this.
My eyes started watering, and Patrick looked at me. He said,
do you want me to go get you a bagel?
And I said absolutely not. That would defeat the purpose
(11:59):
of me going and being something nice for you, because
then you would be doing something nice for me, and
so this is pointless. So then for the next hour
I pouted and texted my friends. I was the one
if I was blaming the Babel place or Patrick. But
it was a very upsetting day. I then am walking
into the grocery store later and I texted you, I
wish I could channel your energy because I'm so upset
(12:21):
about this bagel and I didn't even really want it. Okay,
now you're the therapist here, not me, so you know,
you break down to me. It's not really about the bagel,
is it. I know, but I don't know. I haven't
figured it out yet because I was you know, when
you get upset and it's in my head. I knew
this is really silly. Like I kind of wanted to
laugh at myself, like, kin, you're being dumb, but I
(12:44):
could not move past it in that moment. I think
everybody can relate to that in some way, shape or form,
because like I've done that over eggs and egg whites before,
like I wanted egg whites and then there was yolk
in there. But I don't know if it can because
that wasn't eating disorder thing, and I'm I wouldn't react
that way now I think that that was my But
(13:05):
that was the real problem that you knew of the problem. No,
I didn't know. Any time I actually was crazy town,
I didn't know. But now looking back, I'm like, oh,
the root of it was meat control and my eating disorder,
but I couldn't see it at the time. That too,
that was a boyfriend for me. And I know you
and Big p y'all are dating, and that guy broke
(13:27):
up with me, but you know rightfully, so he's going
to break up with me. No, I'm glad you're able
to be yourself, But I think we need to get
to the root of why we're crying over a bagel.
I love cream cheese, so that wouldn't really do it
to me. But I'm trying to think of what would
happen with that now. I mean, it might be that
laundry was done the wrong way or something, or for
(13:47):
someone else, it might be that the dishwasher was loaded correctly,
or you bought the wrong kind of milk, you know,
those little things that just set you off and make
you And this isn't a big deal, but it feels
like a big deal. Right. That's how it was. So
I'll work on it and maybe I can report back.
Right now, it's unclear why I was crying over the bagel.
(14:08):
We don't know what, but I'm fine now. I do
want okay, and never forget Cat's order is a sessame
bagel with butter, which shout out my friend Kellen did
go get me one? That's so nice. Okay, I have
(14:32):
the quote. We haven't even done the quote yet. Um
it's from Gabby Bernstein. And since it's the start of
the year, it's really simple. I claim my desires. I
hold great visions. I am ready to receive. Boom boom
boom and cats over today with our other friend Cat
therapy Cat and Cryo Cat, and we're doing vision boards
with my daughter Sashira too, And I feel as though
(14:55):
that's a perfect thing and you don't have to do it,
that you could do it next week or releast. This
kind of stuff can be done at any point in time.
But I claim my desires, I hold great visions. I
am ready to receive, and so when we put together
a vision board, I feel like that's what I'm going
to be. This is gonna be my mantra during that
and trying to envision things for myself that maybe younger me,
(15:18):
and by younger I mean even the meat wouldn't have
been able to imagine for myself. Because I want to
hold great visions, I want to leave space for that.
Did you watch the Harry and Megan thing. No, Okay,
I know you don't like them, but I don't really
know how I felt about it. I didn't watch it fully.
I was multitasking and I didn't finish it. I think
(15:41):
maybe I watched the first episode and maybe some of
the second. But at some point in there, Megan said
she was going to go travel was before she met Harry,
and she said that her friend told her, hey, whatever
you do, leave room for magic this summer, and so
you know she did that and wait, that's when she
met when she traveled to Europe. Yeah, so I thought
(16:05):
that that was also a good thing to take into
the new year, leave room for magic. That actually even
fits into everything that we've just said too. It's like
you get stuck on something going one way and then
things take you awry, but you don't know if that
stuff that's taking you awry might lead you to something
that's even better at that whole, like what does this
(16:25):
make possible? But you've said that before too, about in
a different way about Yeah, yeah, but I think I
missed the magic today. But that's what you're supposed to
saying of your Instagram post, where like there was all
that magic in there. Yet you are where you're supposed
to be, the course that you're on, the things that
are happening or leading you to where where you're supposed
to go, unless you want to swallow in other things.
(16:47):
And then you get stuck. And that's when you and
I've been stuck before for sure, and you just throw
on this little hamster wheel and you feel like you're
going around around, and it's like, oh, and this is
the first beginning of a year in a couple of
years where I felt like I have space for more.
Last January one first of the year, and then the
one before that, I was stuck and I feel as
(17:10):
though I had goals and things I wanted to work through,
but it was so much work. I felt like I
was climbing out. And now I feel like I'm about
to reach the top of the hole and I can again,
I can believe that, Yes, I can hold great visions.
Do you have any I'm ready to receive? Do you
have any specific things you want to receive? Yes, there's
(17:32):
different career goals. So I want more connection and more work,
but it's more than that connection human human like family, friends,
my kids. I want connection that but also connections through
work that lead to more work and not me working more.
And I'm not scared to work more. But it's not
(17:53):
about like the hours or grinding or anything like that.
It's just more work in that I may have different opportunities.
Maybe my work expands, my opportunities grow. I am stretched,
I learn more, I am working towards more, and some
of that work may not even work out, but it's
(18:15):
still more work that's going to lead to something else
because I'm also I also know some of the things
that I'm interested in might come with rejection, but that's
okay because it'll serve a purpose. Is there anything you
want to leave? Yeah? Yeah, anything you want to share?
Do you have thirty minutes one I can share. There's
(18:37):
stuff I'm not going to share, but which leads me
to an email that I got in my Instagram post
that I put up the other day, which we were
talking about. But what I will say that I'm only
behind is some of my procrastination tendencies. I am already
ahead for the year almost by a month. Not necessarily
you and I sitting here now, but other things that
(19:00):
I have I am I worked really hard at the
mid December to try to look at January February and
some of my responsibilities. I just started like knocking it
out and let's do this, to do this, plan this, dada.
So I'm not going to always be a month ahead
by any means, but I am just a natural procrastinator.
(19:20):
So that is something I think I'm finally leaving behind.
Like I am motivated. It might be because of medication,
but I'm motivated to do certain things and stay ahead. Okay, boom, Well,
I asked because I asked on Instagram too for people
things that they wanted to leave behind, and that what
(19:41):
came up over and over. There are two things. They
are said in different ways, but it was comparing myself
to other people and making decisions based on comparing myself
to other people, and then people pleasing that over and
over and over came up. And so I think that's
something that's good for a lot of us leave behind.
(20:02):
But I will say, if I could choose one thing
that I would like to leave behind, it's it's letting
my house get really dirty. I clean it really well,
and then I don't know what happens, and I want
to stop doing that must be big peace fault blame
it on him. Okay. So the email that I got
was from Mandy, and she said, Dear Amy, why am
I so mad at all the people in your business?
(20:23):
I need to calm down. Your husband has never been
one who wanted to be public. You've never even said
his name. For the longest time, it was always my husband, etcetera, etcetera.
You've been open saying that you've gone through a lot recently,
but that doesn't invite people to speculate openly and be rude.
Just so you know you have listeners who respect your
privacy and enjoy what and when you choose to share things.
(20:43):
We are the silent majority. The rude, loud ones are
the ones we need to shut down. Ha love and
prayers and happy New Year. Here's three being a better
year for all of us, Mandy Fuller. So, Mandy's referring
to the what does this make possible? Posts that I
put up and while I have certain personal things that yeah,
are gonna we'll we'll talk about this year. But if
(21:05):
it's not somebody's time to talk about something, then it's
not somebody's time. And and some of the comments were
saying you claim to be so vulnerable and on The
Bobby Bones Show. Y'all are authentic and share everything, and
I couldn't handle it. So I don't ever really let
that stuff get to me or respond. But I see
it happened to other people too that are on a
(21:26):
show or on social media or whatever their public platform is,
that people feel entitled to certain information, or that suddenly
I'm picking and choosing what I share, and so I
decided to share spoiler alert. Everybody is picking and choosing
what they share. There's no point over my almost seventeen
(21:49):
career on The Bobby Bones Show that I haven't picked
and choose what I share. You if you think you've
gotten every aspect of someone's life, again on any show
that you watch or anybody that you follow. There it's
it's impossible. Nobody is sharing every single detail of their life.
They're not. And you might think you're getting at all
because yes, I shared my adoption with my kids, I
shared my mom's cancer journey, my dad's the loss of
(22:12):
my share every detail of all that stuff. No, No,
that's that's what's crazy is they think I did. And yes,
they got a lot of information, but no, there are
so many intimate, private moments in those times with like
that are precious, that are tragic, that are traumatic, that
are you know, miracles. There's so many things that went
(22:33):
down in any given situation that I've shared that has
never been talked about or never posted about. So anyway,
that's my spiel on that. Also, I would just like
to say that vulnerability isn't just giving information to people.
That's not vulnerability at all. So if somebody's saying, oh,
you say you're so vulnerable, but you won't tell us
(22:53):
every detail of your life, well that's not that's over sharing.
And I think, honestly, if something that I want to
see the here is some of us actually taking parts
of our lives back instead of putting them all out
there for everybody, because it's okay to have things that
are precious. And what is it that you've said, there's
a difference between privacy and secrecy. I like that. It's true.
(23:15):
Jin Hatmaker told me that, And she's someone that went
through something very publicly or multiple things. Over the years,
She's gone through multiple things publicly where people have shamed
her and done all kinds of things just because she's
been a public speaker and it's very public on Instagram
and it's like, okay, no, there's definitely a difference between
(23:36):
privacy and secrecy. And I explained this at the live, like,
there's people in my life that I'm very close to
that know every detail of everything. That doesn't mean Joe
on Instagram or whatever his name is gets to know
you know. Yeah, that so so bizarre. Well I had
(23:56):
other emails, but we'll just wrap with that. Hopefully you
can relate to crying over bagels and lost luggage because
it's probably deeper than that. If you can and be
open to whatever that is this year, and be open
to the magic and claim your desires and hold great
(24:17):
visions and be ready to receive and a vision board
to even if you want to come up with that
like we're doing it with magazines and cutouts and glue
sticks and all the things, but you can that could
just be a journal thing. On one of my flights home,
I busted out my journal and I just started writing
out goals and I started listing things, and then under
each thing, I was adding little bullet points. And I
(24:40):
don't know, it's exciting. I have no idea if some
of it's gonna come true. There's one thing for sure
that I'll say one day that I want to maybe
make happen, especially after hanging out with my sister over
Christmas break, and I'm like, oh, that would be so cool,
so who knows and put it out there for myself
and I'm gonna Okay, I would be like, this is
(25:01):
so ridiculous, Why would I even write it down? But
that's not my thinking. I'm leaving room for magic and
it's not ridiculous, and I'm writing it down well. And
I think all of this because I used to think
vision boards were silly too, and all of that stuff.
But for me, even though I know going back to control,
I know I don't have control over most things in life,
and I don't I'm not going to have control over
(25:22):
some of the things that I do put on my
vision board. But what it feels like to me is
when I actually write down things, I want to actually
talk about them, or I make goals or I do
any of that. It's allowing me to be like an
active participant in my life versus saying I can't control anything,
so I'm just gonna let life happen to me. You know.
Oh and you know how, uh you posted something overbreak
(25:43):
that I wanted to because it's related to this and
sort of having hope and joy and being positive, positive thinking.
You want to normalize that again because you could do
it then it was toxic and then now it's like,
so where are we with that? Where are we with
toxic positivity? Well, you know, it's one of those things
where the pendulum swings and we had to go so
(26:04):
far one way because people were just ignoring stuff that
happens in life. Now we have these two opposite like
you have to be positive everything or you can't ever
be positive. You have to focus on the bad and
you have to acknowledge all your feelings for your whole
entire life, and that's not how life works. So what
I think that post was referring to is us moving
back into the center where there are really hard things
about our lives all the time. That's always going to
(26:26):
be true, that hard stuff is going on in the world,
and we're still allowed to have hope that life can
get better and things that we do want in life
can happen. And yes, I saw you post that and was, yeah,
I love that person. Adam j k At Adam j K.
He has a lot of really good so I've talked
about him before. Okay, Cat, where can people find you
on Instagram at at cat dot de fata and at
(26:49):
You Need Therapy podcasts? M hm oh and you need
Therapy podcast New episodes come out on Mondays and Wednesday's
job And you like your bagel sesame seed with butter.
Next time, I'm going to come to your house from
my bagel. Oh you know what? I like a sesame bagel.
In case anybody cares, I'm so sorry to ask you
(27:13):
strawberry cream cheese from Einstein bagel in Austin, which I
think Einstein is. Is it here too? Our friend Cat
is in the room. We have a studio audience. Hey, Kat,
so I don't know where Einstein originated, but that's where
I first used to get It was in Austin and
it was warm and so good. I want to eat
(27:35):
in the head. Where is that bagel? Did you bring
it over? Oh? No, I actually put it. I wanted
to thread away, but Patrick said the bagel didn't do
anything to you. I'll eat it later and I said
it deserves to be in the trash. He ate it? Okay, ok? Good?
But also we need to figure this out because I'm
starting to that Patrick, big Pie is going to break
up with you. I'm just kidding, y'all are gonna get married? Oh,
(27:58):
next week you need to tell the story because you've
been in a relationship for almost a year now, so
it's been a while since you've dated. Before Christmas break,
I went to happy hour with Big Pete and Cat
and you told me the craziest story about this guy
that you went on a date with. My hands down,
like the worst date of your life? Top three? Is
(28:20):
that the worst one? Top three? But next week you
have to tell the story of the guy. Yeah, Okay,
have the day that you need to have, and thank
you for listening. How do we in this Happy New year?
Happy new Year? Thank you, b