December 10, 2024 • 18 mins
We all have tasks we dread—dishes, laundry, cleaning up after a party. Amy & Kat share a few ways to reframe what you’re doing so that you can find joy in everyday, ‘un-fun’ chores. Also, if you overthink, there’s a little move to try out (called the 'head drop') for when you need your brain to turn off and Amy explains how to do it!
Quote: "Doing Laundry as an adult: washing 30 minutes, drying 50 minutes, folding, 5 to 7 business days"
Benefits of Head Drop:
-Calms down anxiety
-Helps reduce stress
-Promote relaxation by increasing blood flow to your brain
-Relieves tension
-Relieves Neck Pain
-Better sleep
And don’t miss the chance to do some win/win shopping: Shop here with code AMY20 to save 20%—ALL proceeds go to Haiti (4 things puzzle, gratitude journal, totes, pullovers, cool mom, cat mom, dog mom, born year items & more!!)
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is a funny meme that
I saw. It just says doing laundry as an adult
washing thirty minutes, drying fifty minutes, folding five to seven
business days, because if you don't falld right away, then yeah,
it could layer out. I do a long time.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I a lot of times forget to put my clothes
in the dryer, so I have to wash them double.
Do you do that a lot? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I have washed things double. I don't like them sitting
in the Actually my dishwasher. Oh do you ever run
the dish will you add like it's clean? You have
it unloaded it and there's like three dirty things. So
I'm like, okay, fine, and then I just put the
three and dirty and I run it again.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Wait, no, I will just clean them.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Okay, Yeah, I mean neither such a waste. Surely other
people have done it. I'm not saying I'm proud of it.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Do a lot of hand washing of our dishes, though,
you don't do that? No, I do.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
But I guess I just prefer the dishwasher because it's
a little sponge thing that I have freaks me out,
but it shouldn't if I have the hot water and
I try to change that out regularly. Do you use
a lufa in the shower?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, apparently those are like not supposed to be good
for you, but I love them.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I love lufahs, and I'm gonna keep using that. I
do think that there's a date though. Yeah, you should
be like, Okay, I've used this for three months now,
it should go five years now. There's definitely times I've
had one for way too long. I'm like, I don't
even want to know what is on this. Which I
picked that quote because of one of the things we're
(01:34):
gonna talk about, which is finding joy and the unfun tasks,
which sometimes laundry, dishes, showering. You're not on fun showering, befo.
We're talking about the loofah oh. But sometimes you just
don't want to take a shower. Yeah, Like it's like
the end of the night and you know you really
need to and you do it, but it's just.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Like and you feel so much better after, but it's
the whole.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Act of and I will procrastinate and do all kinds
of things just to avoid taking it, even though I
know that I have to take it. And if I
would just taking it when I started thought process of
taking it, I'd have been done and.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Feel better exactly. Some people like doing their laundry and like.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh, I love laundry. I love laundry and dishes and
cleaning my countertop. I didn't say I didn't like doing it.
I just sometimes run my dishwasher twice and sometimes I
don't fold right away. But I love laundry.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
No, not me. What do you love about it? I
love it.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I love sorting it.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
The smell, I love the feeling I get it when
I walk into the laundry room.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I love faverric softener. I love the ding when it
goes off. Actually, my news dryer, yes, it does. A song.
It's playing the other day and I was on the
phone and someone was like, what was that. It's like,
my laundry's Done's feel good? A happy little song. But
we all have those tasks that we just dread, whether
(02:55):
it's stuff like we're talking about the laundry, the dishes,
maybe cleaning up after dinner a party. But what if
we could actually make these things enjoyable? And that's where
the joy comes in and the on fund tasks, so
we're gonna find joy in those things.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
So the first step in this process is changing up
our mindset, so we have to reframe. Do you use
a lot of reframing in your work or no? Like
as a.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Therapist, Yeah, that's like therapy one on one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay. Well, welcome, teach me everything you know. Welcome to
therapy one on one.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So instead of thinking of chores is something that you
have to do, try to see them as moments to reset.
For instance, if I'm going to be in the kitchen,
I'm gonna be doing the dishes. I see it as
like a pause in my day where I'm not having to, oh,
deal with my dog.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I thought you were gonna say work or that.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, but my dog has just been so anxious lately.
As you know. I feel like we talk about it often,
and she's sleeps with me at night and it's great
and she is a protector and I love her at times,
but whatever else is going on with her, And for
a long time I thought it was my anxiety or
some stuff with like the kids, and our anxiety was
giving her the feelings. Well, everybody's healed, and I don't
(04:17):
know she's just anxiety.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Like this might be a stupid question, but a dog
therapist like a dog.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, I mean I did have her meet with the
doggy lama tells what is that? Wait? You know that
exercise we do where sometimes we stare up at the
ceiling for yes, is that from that? That's from the
doggy lama. He came over and he said that she
Kara has made me her little beep. That's what he said.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You know when you make something your Oh.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I don't know why. My head went to like the
beep on the machine.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
No no, no, no, but like the B word.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I got it.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
So he sat down and he watched how Kara was
interacting with me and Ben at the time, and he said, oh,
she has made you her little bee, and you have
to take back your power. And so he taught us
all these things. The ceiling thing worked and it still
does work. I don't know why I don't do it
as much, but.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Because it feels kind of mean so much.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yes, if we don't like ignoring her, But he's like,
that's exactly what you need to do, is you're giving
her too much attention. And then sure enough, if we
dedicate ourselves to it. You've witnessed it. She will lay
down yeah and be coolm.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But I have to work on my feelings of guilt.
Imagine you do that to a friend. I know, but
she's a dog.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I do love her, and that's the thing. I love
her so much. I mean, Ben, honestly, we were sharing
custody of the dog and he's like, you can ever
and I was like, I get it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
He's like, I'm really sad. But it works better for
the kids if she's just at your house all the time.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, because when the kids are at school all day
and then he is gone on all day for work. Yeah,
and so it's just not good. Whereas my work hours
are different and I can be home half the day.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So and your little bee and sense.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And she has made me her little bee, lucky me.
So anyway, we're going to reframe as a pause in
the day, like it's your little moment to disconnect. And
I know this sounds so simple, but it's about just
finding a bit of piece and the whole process itself.
And that's the reframing of it, Like, oh, this is
some me time where you get to be one with
(06:33):
the water. Water's a conduit for ideas too. What do
you mean that's why so many ideas come to people
in the shower. I think it is because it's like
flowing and yeah, let me ask you this about your thoughts.
Do you hear your thoughts in your mind with a voice?
Like is it your voice or does it have a voice?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
What's my other option?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I don't know because that's the only way I have it.
But other people don't hear a voice.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I hear a voice. Yeah, I can't imagine what else
I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
But when you have those thoughts that there are lots
of thoughts happening. Oh, so you see a visual.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I see things and I hear them.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Okay, Like if you're like, apple, Oh, I need to
buy apples today? Are you like I'm going to buy
apples today? Are you writing it out in your head?
Or are you seeing a picture of an apple.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
When you just said that, I saw a picture of
an apple.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Okay, See we're different.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Okay. I was on a long drive this morning and
I was going through what I was going to buy
the grocery store. When I was done with my task,
and I was making the list in my head and
I was talking through it. In my head, I wasn't
seeing image. I mean, I think I was probably seeing
images as I was talking through it.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
All right, So you're someone that sees a picture, yes.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But I also hear it both. But maybe I'm not.
Maybe I'm lying.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
No, you're not because you just said you saw the apple.
But I wonder if it's because I said, are you
seeing an apple? That you But even then, I don't
see apples. But I'm having conversations like right now as
I'm talking, do you have other thoughts in my head
that are happening right now?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Do you want to share some of them?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Do you have that?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Do you have lots of voices? Thoughts happening? Like playing
like a what they call it?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You're subconscious?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yes, but it's got a name, and now I can't
think of it right now, And so now in my head,
I'm like, so stupid, what can't you think of the name?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I think most people, but I struggle because sometimes those
thoughts override me listening to people.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Oh yeah, but I'm not trying to right, I'm I
can even say to myself, stay focused, stay focused, listen. Yeah,
so what they're saying, stay you're interested? You want to know.
I do, but I can't always.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I promise you want to hear what this person has
to say.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah, be engaged, think of a question. What's your what's
your question? What are you gonna ask them?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
You have a little cheerleader in there, like it feels
like a.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But I can be a pretty aleader and I can
be a self critic, but now I can't think of
the thoughts.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
What's called your internal chatterbox? There?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
It is internal dialogue.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh okay, so I have that.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, you have internal dialogues because some people do not.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So they have just nothing in their head.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, it doesn't mean someone is better or worse,
or there's a right or a wrong way. It's just
how we're designed.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Just different.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, I kind of want to get an MRI of
my brain so I can see it light up when
I'm doing different things and see what is happening anything
in particular, like a scan, Like I just want to
see the scan of my internal dialogue and my thoughts
and what's happening that works. Yeah, I feel like I've
seen something on Instagram before that some sort of video
(09:23):
from Okay, yeah that's real. It's a neuroscientist well, if
you should ask for that, then see what they say
from a thing, Big I just want to you want
that for your birthday? I guess a brain scan.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Me and all your friends are going to go in
a group gift and get you a brain scan.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah, I wonder how much that is.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Probably well, your insurance might cover it, but probably not.
It won't cover if you're just like, I want to
see what my internal dialogue looks at.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
This sounds pretty elective? Does it sound mandatory? I don't
have time for this, okay, So Step one, do you
remember what it is? Reframe, reframe your mindset. So look
at it as an opportunity for you to have this
little moment for yourself with whatever this annoying, unfun task is.
Step two, bring entertainment or mindfulness. Put on some music.
(10:13):
Put on a podcast, audiobook Amy and kat Us that's
what it meant us yep, or an audiobook. Love listening
to those as well, Big Fan. If there's something funny,
depending on your mood, like do you need to laugh?
Do that? Lots of Christmas shows are on. Put that
in the background, like it'll give you like a little
(10:34):
Christmas spirit. Whatever your thing is, is it true? Crime.
We'll just make it your chore soundtrack. That's good, okay, like,
and then you don't get to listen to it unless
you're doing that task. And then it's like, okay, well,
I really want to listen to this or watch this,
so I get to work.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That works so well because I've been doing audiobooks lately.
I can't listen to an audiobook if I'm like laying around,
I have to be doing something else. My brain can't
pay attention. So it's how I've started cleaning and vacuuming
and grocery shopping. Even I don't like grocery shopping, but
I'm like, oh, I'll go to the grocery store and
put in my headphones and listen to my audio book.
So that does work. I've been doing it and I
(11:12):
didn't even know. There you go.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yes, that's your chore soundtrack. That's what you're gonna call us.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And I have to shout out this book that I
just listened to because it was so good. A Flicker
in the Dark by Stacy Wattingham or something like that.
But it's called A Flicker in the Dark. It's a
little scary, but it's it's so good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Is it a novel.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, okay, it was like a thriller mystery. And I
had no idea that I was so shocked at the end.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Okay, yeah, oh I'm sold. I need something good to
listen to. You know, we're talking about our brains and
our thoughts and like overthinking, and it reminds me of
something that I saw on Instagram, so surely it works, right,
(12:03):
I have no idea. But you hang your head off
the side of the bed, off the back. They said
you could do it for overthinking. It's called like the
head drop. So you lay down, like imagine you're on
your back, facing your stomach, and your face is facing
the ceiling, and every part of your body is touching
the bed except for your neck. Drops back off the
bed and all there blood.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Rushes to your head.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I don't know. You can't do it for too long.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
It's apparently called the head drop. I mean you do
it for three minutes. I think it's said three to
five minutes. I'm just pulling this from my head from
something that I saw because I thought, oh, if anybody
else is struggling with like overthinking, it's something that popped
up for if your mind is racing and running, and
there's all kinds of thoughts to do. The three minute
head drop. I'm pretty sure it's three minutes zero, three
to five, but maybe just listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Five. It seems like a lot to be upside down.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
You're not hanging all the way here. Let me look
it up. Okay, Yeah, it says do this for three minutes.
Benefits of a head drop calms down anxiety, helps reduce stress,
promotes relaxation because it increases blood flow to the brain,
relieves tension, and activates the thyroid gland. Believes neck pain
TVD or it makes it worse, and then that leads
(13:09):
to better sleep.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Interesting, I've never heard of that. I would proceed with
caution and if it works, let me know.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Okay, So that's just a little bonus thing that has
nothing to do with unfund task. But it just popped
into my head of something that I saw, like while
we were talking. That's what my brain was also thinking about.
That's the name of it. What was the name of it?
And then finally I remember it. Oh, I think it's
the head drop.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
The final thing is practicing gratitude, which is something we
talk about a lot but when you're doing the tasks,
that's when you make it your little gratitude minute. So
it's not anything overwhelming, but you just think of things
that you're grateful for, and then you have a shift
in your attitude and perspective as well, Like if you
(13:54):
are doing laundry your dishes, having gratitude for the fact
that you have a washing machine and a dryer because
some people don't if you happen to have that, or
you have clean water and soap to clean your dishes.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So it could be about the task, but it also
could be about something totally different or true about the task.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, they could be about anything. But I think if
you're struggling with where to start, that could be a
good place.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
And then but that's also a reason no combined it Yeah,
because it's you're reframing that this is privilege that we
could be grateful for versus like, h we have to
do this and dread it. Oh, I get to do.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
This, yeah, or like I have dishes to wash right
now because that means I ate and then that means
I have food. Yeah, it's a tiny shift, but it
can make a big difference in how we go about everyday. Tasks.
So next time you are dreading a chore, reframe it.
Add something you enjoy to it, which would be the podcast,
(14:52):
the TV show, whatever, soundtrack, maybe a meditation, and then
also find gratitude in it. So boom, boom boom. That
seems doable.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And then if you don't want to do any of
that stuff, then just go hang your head off the
side of a bed for three minutes and then see
if you want to do it, and then maybe you'll
be good. I got to try that head thing, but
I love that you've never even tried, and you're like,
you guys should do things. Well, No, I was saying.
I saw it as a tip for overthinkers or if
(15:25):
your brain won't shut off. I just my brain went
back to seeing that because we were talking about seeing
the brain scans on Instagram and you're like, is that
even real? And then my brain is like, oh remember
that other thing you saw on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I didn't know if that was called yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That's what's going on in my head, like as we're talking,
which I think everybody has that, but it's happening so
fast in my head that then sometimes I can't keep
up and then my words don't make sense and then
I'm all over the place it does it goes? Who
shuts down?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Say it does sound like you need a head drop
right now?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, because my thoughts are just like a beast and
can and I are not medicated right now, our adhd.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
This sounds chaotic.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Can tell, which I'm gonna try not to be. But
I go through different seasons, but now I'm in a
season of just I feel like it changes my personality,
which might not be a bad thing. Maybe I should
get back on.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It in a good way or a bad way?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
All right?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Kat?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
On Instagram at Kat van Buren.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
And I am at Radio Amy And just a heads
up if you are doing any Christmas shopping and you
want to give back. There are four Things Gratitude journals,
which I know we were just talking about practicing gratitude
like verbally while you're doing things, but writing down what
you are thankful for has so many benefits and our
(16:52):
four Things Gratitude journal is so cute. There are two
different cover options to choose from, and all seeds go
to education in Haiti and on at the Shop Forward's website,
there's this whole section called Amy's Picks, and there's stuff
for moms, like if you have a friend that has
a dog or a cat, there's cute cat mom, dog
(17:15):
mom stuff, cool mom. There's born year stuff, which depending
on what year you were born, there may be a
sweatshirt or a hat, like if you're gifting someone like
they were born in nineteen ninety two, then you could
get on in nineteen or ninety two pull over. There's
a lot of different options up there, so go see
the cute stuff. There's zipper pouches and four things, totes
(17:36):
and all kinds of stuff that all proceeds are going
to go to Haiti. But you do have a code
and that's Amy twenty and that'll save you twenty percent.
So I will link that page in the show notes
so that way you have the direct link to Amy's
Picks and the different items or your that's shop Forge
just inner Amy twenty. But I just want to make sure
(17:57):
that it's easy for you to know which items are
going to be getting the twenty percent off or not.
And Amy's Picks is the fastest way to find it.
And again, the fastest way for me to get that
to you is linking in the show notes or I'll
put link in bio at Radio Amy. But happy shopping,
and hope y'all are happy we went over this last week. Okay,
how we're gonna do it? I hope you have the
(18:18):
day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Huh one of them say to yeah, yeah, we did
good all right, bye bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat And today's quote is a funny meme that
I saw. It just says doing laundry as an adult
washing thirty minutes, drying fifty minutes, folding five to seven
business days, because if you don't falld right away, then yeah,
it could layer out. I do a long time.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I a lot of times forget to put my clothes
in the dryer, so I have to wash them double.
Do you do that a lot? Oh?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I have washed things double. I don't like them sitting
in the Actually my dishwasher. Oh do you ever run
the dish will you add like it's clean? You have
it unloaded it and there's like three dirty things. So
I'm like, okay, fine, and then I just put the
three and dirty and I run it again.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Wait, no, I will just clean them.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Okay, Yeah, I mean neither such a waste. Surely other
people have done it. I'm not saying I'm proud of it.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Do a lot of hand washing of our dishes, though,
you don't do that? No, I do.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
But I guess I just prefer the dishwasher because it's
a little sponge thing that I have freaks me out,
but it shouldn't if I have the hot water and
I try to change that out regularly. Do you use
a lufa in the shower?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah, apparently those are like not supposed to be good
for you, but I love them.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I love lufahs, and I'm gonna keep using that. I
do think that there's a date though. Yeah, you should
be like, Okay, I've used this for three months now,
it should go five years now. There's definitely times I've
had one for way too long. I'm like, I don't
even want to know what is on this. Which I
picked that quote because of one of the things we're
(01:34):
gonna talk about, which is finding joy and the unfun tasks,
which sometimes laundry, dishes, showering. You're not on fun showering, befo.
We're talking about the loofah oh. But sometimes you just
don't want to take a shower. Yeah, Like it's like
the end of the night and you know you really
need to and you do it, but it's just.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Like and you feel so much better after, but it's
the whole.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Act of and I will procrastinate and do all kinds
of things just to avoid taking it, even though I
know that I have to take it. And if I
would just taking it when I started thought process of
taking it, I'd have been done and.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Feel better exactly. Some people like doing their laundry and like.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Oh, I love laundry. I love laundry and dishes and
cleaning my countertop. I didn't say I didn't like doing it.
I just sometimes run my dishwasher twice and sometimes I
don't fold right away. But I love laundry.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
No, not me. What do you love about it? I
love it.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I love sorting it.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
The smell, I love the feeling I get it when
I walk into the laundry room.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
I love faverric softener. I love the ding when it
goes off. Actually, my news dryer, yes, it does. A song.
It's playing the other day and I was on the
phone and someone was like, what was that. It's like,
my laundry's Done's feel good? A happy little song. But
we all have those tasks that we just dread, whether
(02:55):
it's stuff like we're talking about the laundry, the dishes,
maybe cleaning up after dinner a party. But what if
we could actually make these things enjoyable? And that's where
the joy comes in and the on fund tasks, so
we're gonna find joy in those things.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
So the first step in this process is changing up
our mindset, so we have to reframe. Do you use
a lot of reframing in your work or no? Like
as a.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Therapist, Yeah, that's like therapy one on one.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Okay. Well, welcome, teach me everything you know. Welcome to
therapy one on one.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
So instead of thinking of chores is something that you
have to do, try to see them as moments to reset.
For instance, if I'm going to be in the kitchen,
I'm gonna be doing the dishes. I see it as
like a pause in my day where I'm not having to, oh,
deal with my dog.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I thought you were gonna say work or that.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, but my dog has just been so anxious lately.
As you know. I feel like we talk about it often,
and she's sleeps with me at night and it's great
and she is a protector and I love her at times,
but whatever else is going on with her, And for
a long time I thought it was my anxiety or
some stuff with like the kids, and our anxiety was
giving her the feelings. Well, everybody's healed, and I don't
(04:17):
know she's just anxiety.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Like this might be a stupid question, but a dog
therapist like a dog.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Well, I mean I did have her meet with the
doggy lama tells what is that? Wait? You know that
exercise we do where sometimes we stare up at the
ceiling for yes, is that from that? That's from the
doggy lama. He came over and he said that she
Kara has made me her little beep. That's what he said.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You know when you make something your Oh.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I don't know why. My head went to like the
beep on the machine.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
No no, no, no, but like the B word.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
I got it.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
So he sat down and he watched how Kara was
interacting with me and Ben at the time, and he said, oh,
she has made you her little bee, and you have
to take back your power. And so he taught us
all these things. The ceiling thing worked and it still
does work. I don't know why I don't do it
as much, but.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Because it feels kind of mean so much.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yes, if we don't like ignoring her, But he's like,
that's exactly what you need to do, is you're giving
her too much attention. And then sure enough, if we
dedicate ourselves to it. You've witnessed it. She will lay
down yeah and be coolm.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
But I have to work on my feelings of guilt.
Imagine you do that to a friend. I know, but
she's a dog.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I do love her, and that's the thing. I love
her so much. I mean, Ben, honestly, we were sharing
custody of the dog and he's like, you can ever
and I was like, I get it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
He's like, I'm really sad. But it works better for
the kids if she's just at your house all the time.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, because when the kids are at school all day
and then he is gone on all day for work. Yeah,
and so it's just not good. Whereas my work hours
are different and I can be home half the day.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
So and your little bee and sense.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And she has made me her little bee, lucky me.
So anyway, we're going to reframe as a pause in
the day, like it's your little moment to disconnect. And
I know this sounds so simple, but it's about just
finding a bit of piece and the whole process itself.
And that's the reframing of it, Like, oh, this is
some me time where you get to be one with
(06:33):
the water. Water's a conduit for ideas too. What do
you mean that's why so many ideas come to people
in the shower. I think it is because it's like
flowing and yeah, let me ask you this about your thoughts.
Do you hear your thoughts in your mind with a voice?
Like is it your voice or does it have a voice?
Speaker 2 (06:52):
What's my other option?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
I don't know because that's the only way I have it.
But other people don't hear a voice.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I hear a voice. Yeah, I can't imagine what else
I'm hearing.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
But when you have those thoughts that there are lots
of thoughts happening. Oh, so you see a visual.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
I see things and I hear them.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Okay, Like if you're like, apple, Oh, I need to
buy apples today? Are you like I'm going to buy
apples today? Are you writing it out in your head?
Or are you seeing a picture of an apple.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
When you just said that, I saw a picture of
an apple.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Okay, See we're different.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Okay. I was on a long drive this morning and
I was going through what I was going to buy
the grocery store. When I was done with my task,
and I was making the list in my head and
I was talking through it. In my head, I wasn't
seeing image. I mean, I think I was probably seeing
images as I was talking through it.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
All right, So you're someone that sees a picture, yes.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But I also hear it both. But maybe I'm not.
Maybe I'm lying.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
No, you're not because you just said you saw the apple.
But I wonder if it's because I said, are you
seeing an apple? That you But even then, I don't
see apples. But I'm having conversations like right now as
I'm talking, do you have other thoughts in my head
that are happening right now?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Do you want to share some of them?
Speaker 1 (07:54):
No?
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Do you have that?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Do you have lots of voices? Thoughts happening? Like playing
like a what they call it?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You're subconscious?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yes, but it's got a name, and now I can't
think of it right now, And so now in my head,
I'm like, so stupid, what can't you think of the name?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
I think most people, but I struggle because sometimes those
thoughts override me listening to people.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Oh yeah, but I'm not trying to right, I'm I
can even say to myself, stay focused, stay focused, listen. Yeah,
so what they're saying, stay you're interested? You want to know.
I do, but I can't always.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I promise you want to hear what this person has
to say.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Yeah, be engaged, think of a question. What's your what's
your question? What are you gonna ask them?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
You have a little cheerleader in there, like it feels
like a.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But I can be a pretty aleader and I can
be a self critic, but now I can't think of
the thoughts.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
What's called your internal chatterbox? There?
Speaker 1 (08:47):
It is internal dialogue.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Oh okay, so I have that.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Yeah, you have internal dialogues because some people do not.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
So they have just nothing in their head.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I mean, it doesn't mean someone is better or worse,
or there's a right or a wrong way. It's just
how we're designed.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Just different.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, I kind of want to get an MRI of
my brain so I can see it light up when
I'm doing different things and see what is happening anything
in particular, like a scan, Like I just want to
see the scan of my internal dialogue and my thoughts
and what's happening that works. Yeah, I feel like I've
seen something on Instagram before that some sort of video
(09:23):
from Okay, yeah that's real. It's a neuroscientist well, if
you should ask for that, then see what they say
from a thing, Big I just want to you want
that for your birthday? I guess a brain scan.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Me and all your friends are going to go in
a group gift and get you a brain scan.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah, I wonder how much that is.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Probably well, your insurance might cover it, but probably not.
It won't cover if you're just like, I want to
see what my internal dialogue looks at.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
This sounds pretty elective? Does it sound mandatory? I don't
have time for this, okay, So Step one, do you
remember what it is? Reframe, reframe your mindset. So look
at it as an opportunity for you to have this
little moment for yourself with whatever this annoying, unfun task is.
Step two, bring entertainment or mindfulness. Put on some music.
(10:13):
Put on a podcast, audiobook Amy and kat Us that's
what it meant us yep, or an audiobook. Love listening
to those as well, Big Fan. If there's something funny,
depending on your mood, like do you need to laugh?
Do that? Lots of Christmas shows are on. Put that
in the background, like it'll give you like a little
(10:34):
Christmas spirit. Whatever your thing is, is it true? Crime.
We'll just make it your chore soundtrack. That's good, okay, like,
and then you don't get to listen to it unless
you're doing that task. And then it's like, okay, well,
I really want to listen to this or watch this,
so I get to work.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
That works so well because I've been doing audiobooks lately.
I can't listen to an audiobook if I'm like laying around,
I have to be doing something else. My brain can't
pay attention. So it's how I've started cleaning and vacuuming
and grocery shopping. Even I don't like grocery shopping, but
I'm like, oh, I'll go to the grocery store and
put in my headphones and listen to my audio book.
So that does work. I've been doing it and I
(11:12):
didn't even know. There you go.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yes, that's your chore soundtrack. That's what you're gonna call us.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
And I have to shout out this book that I
just listened to because it was so good. A Flicker
in the Dark by Stacy Wattingham or something like that.
But it's called A Flicker in the Dark. It's a
little scary, but it's it's so good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Is it a novel.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, okay, it was like a thriller mystery. And I
had no idea that I was so shocked at the end.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Okay, yeah, oh I'm sold. I need something good to
listen to. You know, we're talking about our brains and
our thoughts and like overthinking, and it reminds me of
something that I saw on Instagram, so surely it works, right,
(12:03):
I have no idea. But you hang your head off
the side of the bed, off the back. They said
you could do it for overthinking. It's called like the
head drop. So you lay down, like imagine you're on
your back, facing your stomach, and your face is facing
the ceiling, and every part of your body is touching
the bed except for your neck. Drops back off the
bed and all there blood.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Rushes to your head.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
I don't know. You can't do it for too long.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
It's apparently called the head drop. I mean you do
it for three minutes. I think it's said three to
five minutes. I'm just pulling this from my head from
something that I saw because I thought, oh, if anybody
else is struggling with like overthinking, it's something that popped
up for if your mind is racing and running, and
there's all kinds of thoughts to do. The three minute
head drop. I'm pretty sure it's three minutes zero, three
to five, but maybe just listen to your body.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Five. It seems like a lot to be upside down.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
You're not hanging all the way here. Let me look
it up. Okay, Yeah, it says do this for three minutes.
Benefits of a head drop calms down anxiety, helps reduce stress,
promotes relaxation because it increases blood flow to the brain,
relieves tension, and activates the thyroid gland. Believes neck pain
TVD or it makes it worse, and then that leads
(13:09):
to better sleep.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Interesting, I've never heard of that. I would proceed with
caution and if it works, let me know.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Okay, So that's just a little bonus thing that has
nothing to do with unfund task. But it just popped
into my head of something that I saw, like while
we were talking. That's what my brain was also thinking about.
That's the name of it. What was the name of it?
And then finally I remember it. Oh, I think it's
the head drop.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
The final thing is practicing gratitude, which is something we
talk about a lot but when you're doing the tasks,
that's when you make it your little gratitude minute. So
it's not anything overwhelming, but you just think of things
that you're grateful for, and then you have a shift
in your attitude and perspective as well, Like if you
(13:54):
are doing laundry your dishes, having gratitude for the fact
that you have a washing machine and a dryer because
some people don't if you happen to have that, or
you have clean water and soap to clean your dishes.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
So it could be about the task, but it also
could be about something totally different or true about the task.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
No, they could be about anything. But I think if
you're struggling with where to start, that could be a
good place.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
And then but that's also a reason no combined it Yeah,
because it's you're reframing that this is privilege that we
could be grateful for versus like, h we have to
do this and dread it. Oh, I get to do.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
This, yeah, or like I have dishes to wash right
now because that means I ate and then that means
I have food. Yeah, it's a tiny shift, but it
can make a big difference in how we go about everyday. Tasks.
So next time you are dreading a chore, reframe it.
Add something you enjoy to it, which would be the podcast,
(14:52):
the TV show, whatever, soundtrack, maybe a meditation, and then
also find gratitude in it. So boom, boom boom. That
seems doable.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
And then if you don't want to do any of
that stuff, then just go hang your head off the
side of a bed for three minutes and then see
if you want to do it, and then maybe you'll
be good. I got to try that head thing, but
I love that you've never even tried, and you're like,
you guys should do things. Well, No, I was saying.
I saw it as a tip for overthinkers or if
(15:25):
your brain won't shut off. I just my brain went
back to seeing that because we were talking about seeing
the brain scans on Instagram and you're like, is that
even real? And then my brain is like, oh remember
that other thing you saw on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I didn't know if that was called yeah, yeah, but.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That's what's going on in my head, like as we're talking,
which I think everybody has that, but it's happening so
fast in my head that then sometimes I can't keep
up and then my words don't make sense and then
I'm all over the place it does it goes? Who
shuts down?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Say it does sound like you need a head drop
right now?
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, because my thoughts are just like a beast and
can and I are not medicated right now, our adhd.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
This sounds chaotic.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Can tell, which I'm gonna try not to be. But
I go through different seasons, but now I'm in a
season of just I feel like it changes my personality,
which might not be a bad thing. Maybe I should
get back on.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It in a good way or a bad way?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
All right?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Kat?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (16:29):
On Instagram at Kat van Buren.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
And I am at Radio Amy And just a heads
up if you are doing any Christmas shopping and you
want to give back. There are four Things Gratitude journals,
which I know we were just talking about practicing gratitude
like verbally while you're doing things, but writing down what
you are thankful for has so many benefits and our
(16:52):
four Things Gratitude journal is so cute. There are two
different cover options to choose from, and all seeds go
to education in Haiti and on at the Shop Forward's website,
there's this whole section called Amy's Picks, and there's stuff
for moms, like if you have a friend that has
a dog or a cat, there's cute cat mom, dog
(17:15):
mom stuff, cool mom. There's born year stuff, which depending
on what year you were born, there may be a
sweatshirt or a hat, like if you're gifting someone like
they were born in nineteen ninety two, then you could
get on in nineteen or ninety two pull over. There's
a lot of different options up there, so go see
the cute stuff. There's zipper pouches and four things, totes
(17:36):
and all kinds of stuff that all proceeds are going
to go to Haiti. But you do have a code
and that's Amy twenty and that'll save you twenty percent.
So I will link that page in the show notes
so that way you have the direct link to Amy's
Picks and the different items or your that's shop Forge
just inner Amy twenty. But I just want to make sure
(17:57):
that it's easy for you to know which items are
going to be getting the twenty percent off or not.
And Amy's Picks is the fastest way to find it.
And again, the fastest way for me to get that
to you is linking in the show notes or I'll
put link in bio at Radio Amy. But happy shopping,
and hope y'all are happy we went over this last week. Okay,
how we're gonna do it? I hope you have the
(18:18):
day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Huh one of them say to yeah, yeah, we did
good all right, bye bye
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Host
Amy Brown
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