July 30, 2024 • 21 mins
Amy, Kat, Adelyn & Stachira all join in for a convo about hidden talents (Adelyn’s is so funny), a listener email about their ‘eat, pray, love’ experience (very inspiring), hacks that will save you money (they're weird + clever!), simple ways to make people like you instantly (5 things you can do in any situation) & more!
Today’s Quote:
“Husband math is not wanting to pay anyone else to do the job, but having to buy at least 3 new tools to complete the job themselves.” - a random meme
Speaking of memes, another one that made us LOL:
Olympic Athlete: makes a tiny mistake
Me: “pathetic”
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Defatta // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and we've got Adeline, my niece, an intern
for the summer, in the room with us. What up, hey, Adelin?
And then my daughter Sashira is here and we're just
sitting on my bed having a little podcast moment. And
our quote today is some funny mean thing I saw
on Instagram. And you know, we talked about girl math
(00:25):
in the last couple of weeks or so here on
the Fifth Thing, and this is husband math and it
said husband math is not wanting to pay anyone else
to do the job, but having to buy at least
three new tools to complete the job themselves. They kind
of made me think of you, Kat, like, I know
this is husband math, but this also might be cat math,
because you want to do everything yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I was gonna say that to me, is still girl
math because then you have the tools forever and you
can keep using them, right.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, but as long as the job is done right,
because then you have to factor in a lot of times,
and then I want to do it themselves and then
ultimately end up having to hire somebody.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Or it's just like not as good and you're never
going to be happy with.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It, Yeah, but I appreciate the effort. I feel like
that's like one of your hidden talents is that you're
going to figure out a way to do it yourself.
And I'm inspired by that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And then when it doesn't go my way, I just
call my dad and he fixes it.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, and you're real key to have that. I missed
my dad moment today, which had to do with my dryer.
I feel like my dryer vent hose is way too long.
Surely there's a shorter way because where the vent is
with a dryer and then where the hole is in
the wall, it doesn't need to be that long. And
I saw that it can be hazardous if you have
one that's too long. It's something I've never paid attention to.
(01:36):
But we're putting down new tile in the laundry room,
so it was pulled out and I saw it, and
it was one of those moments where I thought I
could just call my dad right now and he would
know which Adeline. I guess I could have called your dad,
I mean your yeah, your dad, which would be my sister's,
your mom's husband, you know, my brother in law. But
(01:57):
my first thought was my dad and it was a
bummer because I could call him. So I posted on
Instagram and I asked what people might say about it.
I still haven't checked the answers, but I would say
for you, I'm very happy that you have your dad
to call. That's not me being like, oh woe is me?
I wish like, I love that for you, that A
you have your mom and dad to call, and b
(02:18):
they live right down the road.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I think about that all the time though, because I
do rely on him a lot. If I see something
and I could google it or I could just call
my dad, and what am I going to do when
I can't? He knows how to do everything. That sounds
like your dad.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Oh yeah, he's very handy, very very handy. So a
list of hidden talents that I thought online and then Adeline,
I want to know you're hidden talent. I'll share one.
We'll do Hidden Talent Olympics in honor of the Olympics, which,
speaking of memes, Adeline sent me one that was the
Olympian doing the sport whatever it is. Say they're a
gymnast and they kind of fall and buckle like the
(02:53):
tiniest little mistake, and then the person's at home, sitting
on their couch looking at it and being like pathetic.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
One toe out of bounds and you're like, oh, they've
just ruined it.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
The worst, Like golly, I could do so much better
when we obviously could not. But hidden talents that I
saw online someone, But they can count letters in any
sentence while the sentence is being spoken and still pay
attention to what the person is saying.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I could even understand what you just said, okay, because
I was trying to understand what they meant.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, Well, say the sentence is no is a complete sentence, right,
so we'll choose We'll choose short one. Okay, so no
would be two letters. So it can count letters and
any sentence while the sentence is being spoken and still
pay attention to what the person is saying. That boggles
my mind. That's wild, Like I could do no, you
know too, but I couldn't do all of these words.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
What do you think that's useful for?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Well, it's a hidden talent, just like a fun talent.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, okay, I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You're in tealentce. It's definitely useful because you're getting stuff done.
But like mine is that I can pop my wrist
over and over and over and over and over and
over every time, and it's not worth anything.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But here we go.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh, it doesn't stop. I can do it every single
time no matter what.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Okay, was it bad for your joint?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
No idea? Okay, But I mean I can do it
over and over and over, and then I can pinch
you with my toes if I wanted to, or pick
up things with my toes.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's pretty useful.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Stasher's in here, she said she can do that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
To share.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
This one made me think of you. Someone else said
that they could take a nap for a specific amount
of time, like say, twenty two minutes, and they know
right before the alarm is going to go off, they
just wake up. And my mom never needed an alarm,
not from a nap. Butok. She would go to bed
at night and wake up in the morning at whatever
time she told herself she wanted to wake up. It
(04:40):
was really weird, and I witnessed it happen multiple times,
or I wouldn't have believed it myself. Out on what
is your hidden talent?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I can keep my eyes crossed for however long. When
I was on a gap yere a few years ago,
I crossed my eyes for almost thirty minutes, and my
friends would sit and time me. So I can just
keep my eyes crossed for however long you need me to,
and it usually doesn't give me a headache, So it's
pretty impressive. That's my indella.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Adam. Will you explain what a gap year is because
I only know about it because you decided to do
it between high school and college, and before you, I
hadn't heard of it, and I think it's really cool,
Like I would love for Stashar to do something like
that too.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I called an educational break from schooling. After I graduated
high school, I took a nine month gap year and
it was a mission trip, so I served alongside fifty
other guys and girls and we went to three different
countries and I fund raised for the trip and I
lived out of a backpack for nine months and lived
in a tent for part of it. It completely changed
my life and it set me up to have a
(05:39):
good foundation going to college. So now I'm in college,
but I took a gap year, and now I want
to take another gap year after college, which I may do.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I think that you should, because well, you can do
whatever feels right. One of the things I wish that
I would have done is not gone straight from undergraduate
to graduate school. I wish I would have worked somewhere.
I mean, it worked out for me, but I think
that would have been a cool experience. But I was
in a rush, folks, may people were in a rush.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Which speaking of traveling, we did get an email from
a listener talking about solo dates. When Adam and I
talked about solo dates on the Four Things episode, it
was one of our things. We were encouraging people take
yourself out to get coffee or dinner, or go sit
at a bar with a book or whatever. And this
solo date is to another country for months.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It's an intense solo date.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
It's very it's eat prey love. And she even mentions
that in the email, and I just wanted to read
it in case it might encourage people to, I don't know,
go on their journey, go on their trip. Maybe it's
not to another country, it could be a weekend drive,
or it could be that coffee date that Adam and
I talked about. But she said, hey, Amy, I listened
to the episode where you talked about solo dates, and
I wanted to share a little bit of my story.
(06:51):
I got married in my early twenties, and by twenty
five I knew for my mental health and physical well being,
I needed to exit that relationship. Up until that point,
almost every decision I made was under the direction of
others because I hated conflict. I had old friends that
lived in New Zealand that, without knowing my situation, emailed
me and said, if you ever feel like taking a
(07:12):
break and visiting, you always have a place here That
was it might, eat, pray, love myself journey. I flew
from Colorado to New Zealand by myself and lived there
for several months. While my friends worked and carried on
with their lives. I took every opportunity to see the
country and try to do things alone. I ate at restaurants,
read in coffee shops, and journaled on the beach all alone.
(07:35):
What did that make possible? Healing and self reflection and
experiencing independence, which was something I never knew I needed
while traveling across the world is not ideal for most people.
I can't tell you enough how much it benefited me
to learn how to solo date. Thank you for taking
time to listen to my story. Moutreesa, which mouterreesa thank
(07:57):
you for phonetically sounding out your name for me, because
I think I was able to get it. And I
think that this is a very cool, encouraging, inspiring story,
and someone listening somewhere right now may go on some
sort of a trip or get away for themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
If she was here, I would have asked her what
she was afraid of before she went, because I hear
that she had people she knew there, so she wasn't
completely alone, but just the experience of doing all the
stuff she said by herself. I don't even like doing
that in my own city, so I wonder if it
would be more freeing to do it somewhere where you
barely know anybody, or maybe more scary because it's more
(08:34):
unfamiliar we see.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I see it as more freeing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, because you don't have to worry about running into somebody,
and everything you do gets to be your own.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, like you're a visitor somewhere. I feel like if
I try to go out and do that solo stuff
here in town, I might be overthinking it. But if
I was somewhere halfway around the world, I'm not overthinking it.
And so maybe it's a mental like a little mind
trick you have to play on yourself, like act like
you're a visitor in your own city because nobody's paying
just to nobody cares, and you don't need to overthink
it at all. But in case you are visiting another
(09:04):
place and you're worried about people liking you, I did
see this whole article of simple ways to make people
like you instantly.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Oh okay, it's like there's a trick to it.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
In case you are visiting another place and you're worried
about people liking you, I did see this whole article
of simple ways to make people like you instantly. The
first thing to do is to remember to use people's names.
And maybe you don't know them, but if they have
a name tag on, use it.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Without even asking. That would make me feel so special.
If I didn't even tell them my name and they
said Catherine, or I would be a little bit like,
I do you know who I am?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
But if you have Catherine on your name.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Tag, your shirt says your name, and then it would
be funny and then maybe we'd become friends, you know,
break the ice.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Or if you're getting to know somebody use their name
in the sentence as you're talking talking to them. I
think that that is a good one. You and I
were talking about some interviews that we've done with people,
and sometimes they say our name's back to us, and
that made me feel special.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So let's do that, kat okay Amy.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
No problem. Be a good listener and show genuine interest
is a simple way to make people like you instantly
give sincere compliments. Another one is genuine smile, and so
it's like, okay, got to be sincere. Got to smile
in a genuine way. But if you're walking around trying
to make people like you and you're forcing a.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Smile, then people will just be scared of you. But
I like the sincere compliments because you don't to go
up to somebody and be like, oh my gosh, I
love your outfit. If you don't love it, you can
say whatever you want. But that eases the tension. I
feel like in any space, it starts it off, and
it gives you also something to start talking about too.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I've always appreciated if someone brings up my nail color
or something simple yeah, and I'm like, oh, well, this
is olive in June color. G three twos. Sometimes they
have really fun names and then other times they have numbers.
Oh really, and they.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Get they get tired of coming up with creative ideas.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'm not sure, but all of in June it's one
of my favorite.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Really.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah. I love their colors and I love their brushes.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Or are they like curved at the bottom instead of straight?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, it's like it seems thick. It's a thick brush.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Okay, I need to try that out because I've stopped
getting my nails done.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Sharing something personal about yourself is a way to make
someone like you instantly, because opening up and sharing something
creates a sense of vulnerability and authenticity, and it shows
that you're willing to let your guard down, and then
in turn, they may want to let their guard down,
and then you're creating more of a connection.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
But don't share too much because then they might not
think that you care about them.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And then don't share too much if you're in another
country and you just met them and you're trying to
get them to like you instantly, because then they might.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Stock you, murder you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Oh okay you, which you probably haven't seen this article
about planning for your funeral at.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
All no way is it going around algorithm.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I don't know if you saw it sitting here, because
I had it laying here that I wanted to talk
about a money saving hack. And people are renting really
nice caskets for their funerals, but then burying themselves in
a cheaper one. Caskets are very expensive.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Who's moving the body from one to the other after
your funeral.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
The funeral home? Yeah, they do all that.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
You can rent it.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
This is what I heard. I mean I saw an
article about it. People were saving money by renting the
casket and then being buried in a cheaper version. So
just throwing it out there in.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Case if you need that hack, this.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Hack might come in Handy Moore. One of the hacks
was if you're on with customer service and you want
a human, immediately start saying cuss words over and over
because they think you're really angry, and they're like, oh,
we better connect them. Wait really asap. I don't know
for certain, I haven't tried it. I just saw this
whole article about these random hacks. There was a therapist
(13:11):
one on there and it said offer to pay your
therapist in cash and they might cut you a deal.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well, maybe do you all take credit.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Card and they take three percent?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Have I actually have some feelings about this, and I
reserve the right to change my mind on what I'm
about to say. But credit cards have a processing fee.
So if my fee is one hundred and fifty dollars,
I don't get that. I probably get one thirty five
to one forty depending on what I'm using. So that's
what it is. But a lot of people will if
(13:42):
you use your credit card, they'll then charge you ten
extra dollars, and I don't think that's right because it's
a business expense to me. I mean, people can do
whatever they want, and this is where I reserve the
right to change my mind. If somebody can convinces me
I should do that. But I feel like that's my
responsibility that if I'm this is how I'm taking the payment,
I should have to pay that, not my client.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Right, you'll take that.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
That's why people might give you a discount, like it
could be one forty five if you pay me in cash,
not because they're not going to report it because that's
tax fraud, but because they don't have to pay the
processing fee, so they're saving money.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, you would obviously report it.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, but I think some people might think, like, oh,
if I pay you under the table, then you don't
have to pay taxes on it.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
And I go and say here that the hack is
for therapists. But that's with a lot of companies or
places like they want the instant money and they want
you to make the purchase, and they don't want you
to not come because you maybe you're contemplating whether or
not you can buy it. And everybody, most people have
a credit card, so companies want to make it easy,
so they're willing to take the hit, right, But yeah, hey,
if you want to pay cash or check like or
(14:40):
venmo I.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, I think it should be you get a discount
if you pay with cash or venmo versus you have
to pay extra if you pay.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, I like that. Plus I know your heart around it,
like you don't ever want a client to have to
pay more just because they're trying to come and see you,
even if it's the credit card fee, because you don't
even want them to pay more when you have to
actually after added value. And you have a business that
you're running and other people under you, and you have
this whole building and you're operating stuff, but you don't
(15:08):
ever want to raise your prices when I think.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That you keeps going up.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
But it's one of your hidden talents is your big,
big big heart.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Cat, it's not having a business minded brain.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay, Cat?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Where can people find you on Instagram? At kat van
Buren and at You Need Therapy podcast?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And you know you did a whole episode Adeline and
I when we talked about the solo dates, we talked
about your third place episodes, because your first place is
your home, and then your second place is often your job,
and then there's a third place that we all should
apparently have.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And a lot of us don't have them anymore because
of just the way the world works. Yeah, your third
place could be where you meet the love of your life.
You just bump into him, you become casual friends, and
you keep seeing him and then you guys, you know,
start dating and you get married.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Well, according to Adeline, I need to show up to
my third place, maybe a coffee shop in New Zealand,
cross eyed, and get a backpack live out. I would
like to go do that, though, like Adeline, you said,
you might need to do something like the World Race
after college, before you start your career and I need
(16:19):
to do that. But I have my career right now,
but either I need to run away from things, not you, honey,
not my daughter, not running away from that part of
my life. But somehow I need a gap here like
that would be awesome as an adult, Like adult camps
are all the rage right now, like summer camps. So
many adults are seeking out summer camps.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
But I think that's for a week.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So maybe I start there or something, but I don't
want to go to We went to Young Life Family camp,
so there was adults there, but it was for families,
so they had adult and kid activities. But yeah, yeah,
I want them for myself. And I don't know quite
what that looks like. But something like the World race,
or like what our listener emailed in and shared, like
(17:00):
a backpack washing my clothes.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
And a bucket. That's what you're dreaming of right now.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Meeting different people and serving all over the world. I
feel like that could be life giving to me. It's
just like, dang, I feel like I missed that boat,
like I should have done it when I was Adeline's age,
and now I'm not in a position where I can't.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
You could be an O pair for a family and
then it's free.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So that would be a nanny in another country.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You would have to quit your job, though, can you
take your kids with you?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
What about I opair my kids?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, then you'd be with just another family with other.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Kids, babysitting them.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So that's actually not for you. That'd be more of
a me thing. She's like speaking through She's like, you
could do that. Meanwhile, she's like, I'm hoping to be
an O pair.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, hopefully I get to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Instead, you could come visit me when I study abroad
next year and just spend six months in Europe.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Wait, Cat, were't you talking about swapping houses or something?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yes? So I went to dinner with a friend that
lives in Chattanooga, and she was saying, because she travels
a lot, she found this app or website where you
can find people that will come stay in your house
and take care of your house. So they get to
stay there for free. You might have to water their
plants or feed their animals. So if you want to
travel somewhere, you get to go do that and you
(18:11):
don't have to pay for a place to say, and
if you're somebody who wants to go travel, then you
can have somebody come stay at your house and you
have to pay for like a house sitter or somebody
to come do all of your things with your animals.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
So if I do this swap, can they do my
job and we just throw on the whole package it.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Well, you put the description of the what they have
to do, and one of it is every morning drive
to the studio, have interesting things to talk about and
share stories, perfect all to hear, and if they agree
to it, they have to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
All right, Well, that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
You might have to run that by your boss.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah no, I mean it's definitely not going to fly
on my end, but it might work for somebody else,
depending on what they do, what kind of life they have.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
What a cool thing, I think so, because a lot
of times paying for somebody to come dog sit or
something like that, or paying for the actual place to
say somewhere, is what keeps somebody from going somewhere. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Say, that's a big one for sure. Since the younger
we are, the less responsibilities we have, the less attachments.
Like Adeline said, she fundraised for that she was able
to go, and she wasn't committed to something else. Plus
she was getting that life experience and serving others. I
do think that it changed your life and you probably
matured a lot in nine months, right I think I did. Yeah, No,
(19:24):
I would say that you for sure did. And so
that just seems like such a cool experience that when
you have less responsibilities, it's easier, and you have a
supportive family. That's key too. So dang, I had a
supportive family. Why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
You can still do it. You still have a supportive
family and you have supportive friends. If you want to
go and do something, yes, but we're not talking about
you going away from nine months. Let's start with like
a week. Okay, one week, and you know what, Actually,
let's back it up. Let's get you going and doing
something once a week in this area, and then once
you start to be able to do that, then you
can go away for a week.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Okay, baby steps the Cat your podcast, you need therapy
and on Instagram you are at Cat van Buren and
then you need therapy podcast has a handle too, yes,
and then you need therapy podcast dot com. What website
have you been working on all day?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I've been working on three quarters Therapy's website. My therapy
practice because I'm becoming a web designer.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh because you want to do it all yourself. Back
to the original court because it's expensive.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
But then I fought all of these programs that I
actually have.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
To pay exactly. And what I like to say, sometimes
when I think I could figure it out and I
would rather do it instead of spend the money, there
is someone out there with that skill and talent, and
I am robbing them of the opportunity to earn their living.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I thought that, and then I got quotes of how
much it would cost, and You're like, I can do that.
Not even that I can do that, I can't pay that,
so I have to figure out how to do it.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Oh perfect, Okay, Well then there's that. There's always that scenario.
And I'm proud of you. Thank you, Kat, thank you.
I just looked at Adeline and called a cat, Adeline,
where can people find you? Because this is your last
week with me? And I'm gonna be so.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Sad at Adeline.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
E dojer I am at Radio Amy and hope you're
having the day that you need to have and you're
feeling your feelings and what are some other amazing quotes
from you?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Kat, and you're practicing your hidden talents.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yes, practice your hidden talents and don't be hard on
yourself or the Olympians about mistake
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, and we've got Adeline, my niece, an intern
for the summer, in the room with us. What up, hey, Adelin?
And then my daughter Sashira is here and we're just
sitting on my bed having a little podcast moment. And
our quote today is some funny mean thing I saw
on Instagram. And you know, we talked about girl math
(00:25):
in the last couple of weeks or so here on
the Fifth Thing, and this is husband math and it
said husband math is not wanting to pay anyone else
to do the job, but having to buy at least
three new tools to complete the job themselves. They kind
of made me think of you, Kat, like, I know
this is husband math, but this also might be cat math,
because you want to do everything yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
I was gonna say that to me, is still girl
math because then you have the tools forever and you
can keep using them, right.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, but as long as the job is done right,
because then you have to factor in a lot of times,
and then I want to do it themselves and then
ultimately end up having to hire somebody.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Or it's just like not as good and you're never
going to be happy with.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It, Yeah, but I appreciate the effort. I feel like
that's like one of your hidden talents is that you're
going to figure out a way to do it yourself.
And I'm inspired by that.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And then when it doesn't go my way, I just
call my dad and he fixes it.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Yeah, and you're real key to have that. I missed
my dad moment today, which had to do with my dryer.
I feel like my dryer vent hose is way too long.
Surely there's a shorter way because where the vent is
with a dryer and then where the hole is in
the wall, it doesn't need to be that long. And
I saw that it can be hazardous if you have
one that's too long. It's something I've never paid attention to.
(01:36):
But we're putting down new tile in the laundry room,
so it was pulled out and I saw it, and
it was one of those moments where I thought I
could just call my dad right now and he would
know which Adeline. I guess I could have called your dad,
I mean your yeah, your dad, which would be my sister's,
your mom's husband, you know, my brother in law. But
(01:57):
my first thought was my dad and it was a
bummer because I could call him. So I posted on
Instagram and I asked what people might say about it.
I still haven't checked the answers, but I would say
for you, I'm very happy that you have your dad
to call. That's not me being like, oh woe is me?
I wish like, I love that for you, that A
you have your mom and dad to call, and b
(02:18):
they live right down the road.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
I think about that all the time though, because I
do rely on him a lot. If I see something
and I could google it or I could just call
my dad, and what am I going to do when
I can't? He knows how to do everything. That sounds
like your dad.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
Oh yeah, he's very handy, very very handy. So a
list of hidden talents that I thought online and then Adeline,
I want to know you're hidden talent. I'll share one.
We'll do Hidden Talent Olympics in honor of the Olympics, which,
speaking of memes, Adeline sent me one that was the
Olympian doing the sport whatever it is. Say they're a
gymnast and they kind of fall and buckle like the
(02:53):
tiniest little mistake, and then the person's at home, sitting
on their couch looking at it and being like pathetic.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
One toe out of bounds and you're like, oh, they've
just ruined it.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
The worst, Like golly, I could do so much better
when we obviously could not. But hidden talents that I
saw online someone, But they can count letters in any
sentence while the sentence is being spoken and still pay
attention to what the person is saying.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I could even understand what you just said, okay, because
I was trying to understand what they meant.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Okay, Well, say the sentence is no is a complete sentence, right,
so we'll choose We'll choose short one. Okay, so no
would be two letters. So it can count letters and
any sentence while the sentence is being spoken and still
pay attention to what the person is saying. That boggles
my mind. That's wild, Like I could do no, you
know too, but I couldn't do all of these words.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
What do you think that's useful for?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Well, it's a hidden talent, just like a fun talent.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, okay, I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You're in tealentce. It's definitely useful because you're getting stuff done.
But like mine is that I can pop my wrist
over and over and over and over and over and
over every time, and it's not worth anything.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
But here we go.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Oh, it doesn't stop. I can do it every single
time no matter what.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Okay, was it bad for your joint?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
No idea? Okay, But I mean I can do it
over and over and over, and then I can pinch
you with my toes if I wanted to, or pick
up things with my toes.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
It's pretty useful.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Stasher's in here, she said she can do that.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
To share.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
This one made me think of you. Someone else said
that they could take a nap for a specific amount
of time, like say, twenty two minutes, and they know
right before the alarm is going to go off, they
just wake up. And my mom never needed an alarm,
not from a nap. Butok. She would go to bed
at night and wake up in the morning at whatever
time she told herself she wanted to wake up. It
(04:40):
was really weird, and I witnessed it happen multiple times,
or I wouldn't have believed it myself. Out on what
is your hidden talent?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I can keep my eyes crossed for however long. When
I was on a gap yere a few years ago,
I crossed my eyes for almost thirty minutes, and my
friends would sit and time me. So I can just
keep my eyes crossed for however long you need me to,
and it usually doesn't give me a headache, So it's
pretty impressive. That's my indella.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Adam. Will you explain what a gap year is because
I only know about it because you decided to do
it between high school and college, and before you, I
hadn't heard of it, and I think it's really cool,
Like I would love for Stashar to do something like
that too.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I called an educational break from schooling. After I graduated
high school, I took a nine month gap year and
it was a mission trip, so I served alongside fifty
other guys and girls and we went to three different
countries and I fund raised for the trip and I
lived out of a backpack for nine months and lived
in a tent for part of it. It completely changed
my life and it set me up to have a
(05:39):
good foundation going to college. So now I'm in college,
but I took a gap year, and now I want
to take another gap year after college, which I may do.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I think that you should, because well, you can do
whatever feels right. One of the things I wish that
I would have done is not gone straight from undergraduate
to graduate school. I wish I would have worked somewhere.
I mean, it worked out for me, but I think
that would have been a cool experience. But I was
in a rush, folks, may people were in a rush.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Which speaking of traveling, we did get an email from
a listener talking about solo dates. When Adam and I
talked about solo dates on the Four Things episode, it
was one of our things. We were encouraging people take
yourself out to get coffee or dinner, or go sit
at a bar with a book or whatever. And this
solo date is to another country for months.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
It's an intense solo date.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
It's very it's eat prey love. And she even mentions
that in the email, and I just wanted to read
it in case it might encourage people to, I don't know,
go on their journey, go on their trip. Maybe it's
not to another country, it could be a weekend drive,
or it could be that coffee date that Adam and
I talked about. But she said, hey, Amy, I listened
to the episode where you talked about solo dates, and
I wanted to share a little bit of my story.
(06:51):
I got married in my early twenties, and by twenty
five I knew for my mental health and physical well being,
I needed to exit that relationship. Up until that point,
almost every decision I made was under the direction of
others because I hated conflict. I had old friends that
lived in New Zealand that, without knowing my situation, emailed
me and said, if you ever feel like taking a
(07:12):
break and visiting, you always have a place here That
was it might, eat, pray, love myself journey. I flew
from Colorado to New Zealand by myself and lived there
for several months. While my friends worked and carried on
with their lives. I took every opportunity to see the
country and try to do things alone. I ate at restaurants,
read in coffee shops, and journaled on the beach all alone.
(07:35):
What did that make possible? Healing and self reflection and
experiencing independence, which was something I never knew I needed
while traveling across the world is not ideal for most people.
I can't tell you enough how much it benefited me
to learn how to solo date. Thank you for taking
time to listen to my story. Moutreesa, which mouterreesa thank
(07:57):
you for phonetically sounding out your name for me, because
I think I was able to get it. And I
think that this is a very cool, encouraging, inspiring story,
and someone listening somewhere right now may go on some
sort of a trip or get away for themselves.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
If she was here, I would have asked her what
she was afraid of before she went, because I hear
that she had people she knew there, so she wasn't
completely alone, but just the experience of doing all the
stuff she said by herself. I don't even like doing
that in my own city, so I wonder if it
would be more freeing to do it somewhere where you
barely know anybody, or maybe more scary because it's more
(08:34):
unfamiliar we see.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I see it as more freeing.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, because you don't have to worry about running into somebody,
and everything you do gets to be your own.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, like you're a visitor somewhere. I feel like if
I try to go out and do that solo stuff
here in town, I might be overthinking it. But if
I was somewhere halfway around the world, I'm not overthinking it.
And so maybe it's a mental like a little mind
trick you have to play on yourself, like act like
you're a visitor in your own city because nobody's paying
just to nobody cares, and you don't need to overthink
it at all. But in case you are visiting another
(09:04):
place and you're worried about people liking you, I did
see this whole article of simple ways to make people
like you instantly.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Oh okay, it's like there's a trick to it.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
In case you are visiting another place and you're worried
about people liking you, I did see this whole article
of simple ways to make people like you instantly. The
first thing to do is to remember to use people's names.
And maybe you don't know them, but if they have
a name tag on, use it.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Without even asking. That would make me feel so special.
If I didn't even tell them my name and they
said Catherine, or I would be a little bit like,
I do you know who I am?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
But if you have Catherine on your name.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Tag, your shirt says your name, and then it would
be funny and then maybe we'd become friends, you know,
break the ice.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Or if you're getting to know somebody use their name
in the sentence as you're talking talking to them. I
think that that is a good one. You and I
were talking about some interviews that we've done with people,
and sometimes they say our name's back to us, and
that made me feel special.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
So let's do that, kat okay Amy.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
No problem. Be a good listener and show genuine interest
is a simple way to make people like you instantly
give sincere compliments. Another one is genuine smile, and so
it's like, okay, got to be sincere. Got to smile
in a genuine way. But if you're walking around trying
to make people like you and you're forcing a.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Smile, then people will just be scared of you. But
I like the sincere compliments because you don't to go
up to somebody and be like, oh my gosh, I
love your outfit. If you don't love it, you can
say whatever you want. But that eases the tension. I
feel like in any space, it starts it off, and
it gives you also something to start talking about too.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
I've always appreciated if someone brings up my nail color
or something simple yeah, and I'm like, oh, well, this
is olive in June color. G three twos. Sometimes they
have really fun names and then other times they have numbers.
Oh really, and they.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Get they get tired of coming up with creative ideas.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
I'm not sure, but all of in June it's one
of my favorite.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Really.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah. I love their colors and I love their brushes.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Or are they like curved at the bottom instead of straight?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, it's like it seems thick. It's a thick brush.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Okay, I need to try that out because I've stopped
getting my nails done.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Sharing something personal about yourself is a way to make
someone like you instantly, because opening up and sharing something
creates a sense of vulnerability and authenticity, and it shows
that you're willing to let your guard down, and then
in turn, they may want to let their guard down,
and then you're creating more of a connection.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
But don't share too much because then they might not
think that you care about them.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And then don't share too much if you're in another
country and you just met them and you're trying to
get them to like you instantly, because then they might.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Stock you, murder you.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Oh okay you, which you probably haven't seen this article
about planning for your funeral at.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
All no way is it going around algorithm.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
I don't know if you saw it sitting here, because
I had it laying here that I wanted to talk
about a money saving hack. And people are renting really
nice caskets for their funerals, but then burying themselves in
a cheaper one. Caskets are very expensive.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Who's moving the body from one to the other after
your funeral.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
The funeral home? Yeah, they do all that.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
You can rent it.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
This is what I heard. I mean I saw an
article about it. People were saving money by renting the
casket and then being buried in a cheaper version. So
just throwing it out there in.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Case if you need that hack, this.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Hack might come in Handy Moore. One of the hacks
was if you're on with customer service and you want
a human, immediately start saying cuss words over and over
because they think you're really angry, and they're like, oh,
we better connect them. Wait really asap. I don't know
for certain, I haven't tried it. I just saw this
whole article about these random hacks. There was a therapist
(13:11):
one on there and it said offer to pay your
therapist in cash and they might cut you a deal.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well, maybe do you all take credit.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Card and they take three percent?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Have I actually have some feelings about this, and I
reserve the right to change my mind on what I'm
about to say. But credit cards have a processing fee.
So if my fee is one hundred and fifty dollars,
I don't get that. I probably get one thirty five
to one forty depending on what I'm using. So that's
what it is. But a lot of people will if
(13:42):
you use your credit card, they'll then charge you ten
extra dollars, and I don't think that's right because it's
a business expense to me. I mean, people can do
whatever they want, and this is where I reserve the
right to change my mind. If somebody can convinces me
I should do that. But I feel like that's my
responsibility that if I'm this is how I'm taking the payment,
I should have to pay that, not my client.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Right, you'll take that.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
That's why people might give you a discount, like it
could be one forty five if you pay me in cash,
not because they're not going to report it because that's
tax fraud, but because they don't have to pay the
processing fee, so they're saving money.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, you would obviously report it.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yes, but I think some people might think, like, oh,
if I pay you under the table, then you don't
have to pay taxes on it.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
And I go and say here that the hack is
for therapists. But that's with a lot of companies or
places like they want the instant money and they want
you to make the purchase, and they don't want you
to not come because you maybe you're contemplating whether or
not you can buy it. And everybody, most people have
a credit card, so companies want to make it easy,
so they're willing to take the hit, right, But yeah, hey,
if you want to pay cash or check like or
(14:40):
venmo I.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, I think it should be you get a discount
if you pay with cash or venmo versus you have
to pay extra if you pay.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, I like that. Plus I know your heart around it,
like you don't ever want a client to have to
pay more just because they're trying to come and see you,
even if it's the credit card fee, because you don't
even want them to pay more when you have to
actually after added value. And you have a business that
you're running and other people under you, and you have
this whole building and you're operating stuff, but you don't
(15:08):
ever want to raise your prices when I think.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
That you keeps going up.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
But it's one of your hidden talents is your big,
big big heart.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Cat, it's not having a business minded brain.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay, Cat?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Where can people find you on Instagram? At kat van
Buren and at You Need Therapy podcast?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And you know you did a whole episode Adeline and
I when we talked about the solo dates, we talked
about your third place episodes, because your first place is
your home, and then your second place is often your job,
and then there's a third place that we all should
apparently have.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And a lot of us don't have them anymore because
of just the way the world works. Yeah, your third
place could be where you meet the love of your life.
You just bump into him, you become casual friends, and
you keep seeing him and then you guys, you know,
start dating and you get married.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Well, according to Adeline, I need to show up to
my third place, maybe a coffee shop in New Zealand,
cross eyed, and get a backpack live out. I would
like to go do that, though, like Adeline, you said,
you might need to do something like the World Race
after college, before you start your career and I need
(16:19):
to do that. But I have my career right now,
but either I need to run away from things, not you, honey,
not my daughter, not running away from that part of
my life. But somehow I need a gap here like
that would be awesome as an adult, Like adult camps
are all the rage right now, like summer camps. So
many adults are seeking out summer camps.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
But I think that's for a week.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
So maybe I start there or something, but I don't
want to go to We went to Young Life Family camp,
so there was adults there, but it was for families,
so they had adult and kid activities. But yeah, yeah,
I want them for myself. And I don't know quite
what that looks like. But something like the World race,
or like what our listener emailed in and shared, like
(17:00):
a backpack washing my clothes.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
And a bucket. That's what you're dreaming of right now.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
Meeting different people and serving all over the world. I
feel like that could be life giving to me. It's
just like, dang, I feel like I missed that boat,
like I should have done it when I was Adeline's age,
and now I'm not in a position where I can't.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
You could be an O pair for a family and
then it's free.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
So that would be a nanny in another country.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You would have to quit your job, though, can you
take your kids with you?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Ye?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
What about I opair my kids?
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, then you'd be with just another family with other.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Kids, babysitting them.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So that's actually not for you. That'd be more of
a me thing. She's like speaking through She's like, you
could do that. Meanwhile, she's like, I'm hoping to be
an O pair.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Yeah, hopefully I get to do that.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Instead, you could come visit me when I study abroad
next year and just spend six months in Europe.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Wait, Cat, were't you talking about swapping houses or something?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yes? So I went to dinner with a friend that
lives in Chattanooga, and she was saying, because she travels
a lot, she found this app or website where you
can find people that will come stay in your house
and take care of your house. So they get to
stay there for free. You might have to water their
plants or feed their animals. So if you want to
travel somewhere, you get to go do that and you
(18:11):
don't have to pay for a place to say, and
if you're somebody who wants to go travel, then you
can have somebody come stay at your house and you
have to pay for like a house sitter or somebody
to come do all of your things with your animals.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
So if I do this swap, can they do my
job and we just throw on the whole package it.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Well, you put the description of the what they have
to do, and one of it is every morning drive
to the studio, have interesting things to talk about and
share stories, perfect all to hear, and if they agree
to it, they have to do it.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
All right, Well, that's interesting.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
You might have to run that by your boss.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah no, I mean it's definitely not going to fly
on my end, but it might work for somebody else,
depending on what they do, what kind of life they have.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
What a cool thing, I think so, because a lot
of times paying for somebody to come dog sit or
something like that, or paying for the actual place to
say somewhere, is what keeps somebody from going somewhere. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Say, that's a big one for sure. Since the younger
we are, the less responsibilities we have, the less attachments.
Like Adeline said, she fundraised for that she was able
to go, and she wasn't committed to something else. Plus
she was getting that life experience and serving others. I
do think that it changed your life and you probably
matured a lot in nine months, right I think I did. Yeah, No,
(19:24):
I would say that you for sure did. And so
that just seems like such a cool experience that when
you have less responsibilities, it's easier, and you have a
supportive family. That's key too. So dang, I had a
supportive family. Why did I do that?
Speaker 2 (19:38):
You can still do it. You still have a supportive
family and you have supportive friends. If you want to
go and do something, yes, but we're not talking about
you going away from nine months. Let's start with like
a week. Okay, one week, and you know what, Actually,
let's back it up. Let's get you going and doing
something once a week in this area, and then once
you start to be able to do that, then you
can go away for a week.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Okay, baby steps the Cat your podcast, you need therapy
and on Instagram you are at Cat van Buren and
then you need therapy podcast has a handle too, yes,
and then you need therapy podcast dot com. What website
have you been working on all day?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I've been working on three quarters Therapy's website. My therapy
practice because I'm becoming a web designer.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Oh because you want to do it all yourself. Back
to the original court because it's expensive.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
But then I fought all of these programs that I
actually have.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
To pay exactly. And what I like to say, sometimes
when I think I could figure it out and I
would rather do it instead of spend the money, there
is someone out there with that skill and talent, and
I am robbing them of the opportunity to earn their living.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I thought that, and then I got quotes of how
much it would cost, and You're like, I can do that.
Not even that I can do that, I can't pay that,
so I have to figure out how to do it.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Oh perfect, Okay, Well then there's that. There's always that scenario.
And I'm proud of you. Thank you, Kat, thank you.
I just looked at Adeline and called a cat, Adeline,
where can people find you? Because this is your last
week with me? And I'm gonna be so.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Sad at Adeline.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
E dojer I am at Radio Amy and hope you're
having the day that you need to have and you're
feeling your feelings and what are some other amazing quotes
from you?
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Kat, and you're practicing your hidden talents.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Yes, practice your hidden talents and don't be hard on
yourself or the Olympians about mistake
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