July 13, 2024 • 18 mins
OUTWEIGH: In this episode of Outweigh, Leanne addresses a common question from women who have moved past the acute struggles of their eating disorders and disordered eating: "What's next?". She explores how to create a health plan that protects your relationship with food and newfound freedom while also focusing on overall health...and emphasizes the importance of prioritizing mental and emotional health above all else.
Leanne also created a Top 10 list of practical 'filters' you can use to evaluate whether a plan or program is genuinely beneficial or potentially harmful in your healing journey.
You'll walk away from this episode super-clear on all the reasons why your previous plans may have failed you and how to avoid falling into the same traps. This episode is essential for anyone looking to move forward in their health journey with clarity and confidence--- whether they are still IN the midst of their healing journey or on the path beyond it.
HOST: Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am A g strong, I
feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me it is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it.
But she'll some love to the food. Why get there,
sag go day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday Outway.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and I'm back for another solo episode today,
and today I want to talk about something that I
get asked by a lot of women who might be
past the acute struggles of their eating disorder and disordered eating,
but they want to figure out, like what's next for me?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Right?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
How can I create a health plan that keeps in
mind that I want to protect my relationship with food
and my newfound freedom from the disord, but I also
want to take care of my health at the same time.
And this is such a powerful topic because oftentimes following
really unhealthy plans or listening to the wrong people is
what creates our disordered patterns in the first place. And
(01:13):
so it's really important that you know before you commit
to the next thing that even though you know the
acute healing journey might be over. It really does need
to be a long term way of thinking and way
of living where you keep in mind that your relationship
with food will always be a bit more complex than
maybe some of the people that you know, and there
is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And so please don't
(01:37):
hear what I'm not saying though, right Like, you are
not broken, You're not a delicate flower, but you do
need to keep in mind that you have a unique
relationship with food in your body, and you worked hard,
or maybe you're currently working hard for your freedom, and
it's important to protect that. Okay, So I know for
me that when it comes to experimenting with different ways
of thinking around food or different ways of moving my body,
(01:59):
the first thing I have to keep in mind is
that my number one priority is my mental and emotional
health and everything really just follows that. And so if
the plan or program that I'm following out votes that
it is not the right program or plan for me.
And that's what I want to talk about today, like
how do you know if it's healthy or.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Helpful to move forward or for moving forward?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And since obviously I can't talk to you individually, I
kind of came up with a with a filter for
lack of atter way of saying it, that you can
look through to just make sure that you're prioritizing your
mental emotional health and your healing journey, but also feeling
like you have the confidence to stick to a plan
or hire a professional to help you move forward in
your health goals. Okay, And in order to do that,
(02:46):
I feel like it's so important to see where old
plans or programs might have created disorder in the first place,
or where they may have fallen short, so that you
can be on the lookout for that when you're planning.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
The next chapter.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Let's talk about that, so that you can go figure
out where your system was broken or creating toxicity or
disorder and go do something about it. Okay, But first off,
I want to just do a quick thought experiment with you,
so real quick.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Just close your.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Eyes, okay, and whatever you do, don't think about the
color blue, like red, green, even yellow, but not blue. Okay,
do not think about the color blue. Do not think
about blue skies or blue oceans, or blue crayons or
markers or blue cars. Just don't think about the color blue.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well, how did that work for you, were you able
to not think about the color blue?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And so I'm not.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Saying it's impossible, but I have a feeling that it
was pretty darn hard to not picture the color blue
in your mind. Because anytime we are told not to
do something that particular something becomes harder to avoid, especially
once it's brought to our front of mind awareness and
if it's something we desire. And that's how willpower works
(03:58):
or really doesn't work, I should say, because think about
willpower like a muscle that gets exhausted with too much use,
or if you just rely on it too much. And
so essentially, every day you wake up with limited amounts
of this self control energy that we call willpower, and
once it's.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Gone, it's gone.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And you could absolutely strengthen this muscle with practice and training,
but you can also put yourself in situations to not
need or.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Rely on it so much.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
And so, of course this brings me to one of
my favorite topics and a topic that never seems to
go along without my attention, which is food. So what
would your world look like if you didn't have to
constantly exert your willpower muscles day in day out around
food and what would your life feel like if food
wasn't such a battle between yourself and yourself? Right like
(04:46):
that those thoughts of you know, should I eat this,
or like, no, it's bad for you, or then your
voice goes but I want it, or and then your
other voices like, but no, your diet, you'll ruin it.
And then of course the other voice comes in and
it's like, oh, screw it, just give me the chocolate
or whatever it is, right, and that all out binge
warfare ensues. And remember again, this is the kind of
thought process that creates a lot of the disorder in
(05:07):
the first place. And so I'm sure we have all
experienced this a time or two when we have that
face off between our air quotes weakened self and our
strongest self. And I know I have a time or ten.
But that's really what we're here to talk about, getting passed.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
So let's look at that. What is the solution to that?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And what if you didn't have to depend on every
morsel of your willpower energy every single day, And what
if your life was designed based on freedom.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And choice and permission, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You had those stores of willpower by your side when
you really needed them. But it wasn't this thing that
you had to rely on and like scratch to get
and fight for every single day. So that's what I
want you to keep in mind as we go through
these symptoms of the things that possibly caused the disorder
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But also you can kind of use this as a filter.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
To make sure that you don't fall down the same
rabbit hole again, and you can finally understand the reasons
why your previous plans didn't work or cause that chaos
in your mind and really understand, like really in your bones,
get it that you're not broken. It just wasn't the
right plan for you because of what we're talking about today.
And again too, like you can stop feeling like there's
(06:18):
something wrong with you because you can't get yourself to
do all the things that you air quotes know how
to do, because I sure assure you that that's not
the case. Okay, there's nothing wrong with you at all.
You're just experiencing, like we talked about, the symptoms of
a broken system. And it really is just that's what
the law of cause and effect does. It's cause and
effect in action, only this time it's working against you.
(06:40):
And so we want the law of cause and effect
to work for you, Okay, And that's why it's so
important to understand the reasons that something didn't work so
that you can move forward in your healing journey. And
so let's just start talking about those, starting with symptom
number one, which is there is no system. So perhaps
you're wandering around aimless, perhaps you've decided to not follow anything,
(07:03):
or perhaps you haven't found your system forgetting and keeping
your version of results. And a lot of us listening
to this podcast, the definition of results is just freedom,
more peace of mind, feeling like you are back in
charge of your brain. Right and either way, like think
about a plane with no destination point, won't get anywhere
that you could possibly predict, right.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And so that's why I want to talk to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
You about this idea that if you still feel like
you're not when you're not on something, you go off
that metaphorical deep end and maybe you feel like, oh
my gosh, I'm going to gain a bunch of weight
or I'm going to totally lose control. That probably means
that you haven't replaced the old thinking with a system
of thinking that actually sets you free. And that's Honestly,
one of the biggest things I talk about with my
(07:47):
clients before they start my stressless eeeding program is like,
if they're no longer on that binge restrict cycle or
the obsession cycle, but they don't replace that old thinking
that they've been using for many, many years.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Some of them, it's a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
That just creates another problem, right, because our brains need
order and they need a systematic way to approach things,
especially when it comes to food. If you have experienced
disorder in your past. Symptom number two is it's too
complex to understand, right, And so if you don't get
it or simply following it kind of like hurts your
(08:20):
brain or stresses you out or makes it just a
pain in the butt to stick with, you won't right.
And so I don't have to really go any deeper
than that because if it's making your brain hurt, you're
not going to do it very long and it will
never become the air quotes lifestyle that a lot of
plans and programs are kind of saying that they are,
but they really aren't and they never will be. Symptom
number three is there's unclear intent or intention for the
(08:45):
steps that are laid out for you. So if you're
not fully clear or don't understand why you're doing something,
you're never going to have that full emotional buy in
that you need to ever really own the steps and
own the journey. And you're always going to be doing
them out of that voice that's telling you that.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
You should or that you're supposed to.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
And eventually you'll get sick of persuading yourself or talking
yourself into things, and who'd blame you? Like, that's a
lot of work, right, So one of the things I
teach my clients is about the importance of something called
positive neuro associations, which only exists when something resonates or
at least it just doesn't go against.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
What you think, like, it doesn't create a disconnect.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And that's why I am never here to convince or
persuade or coerce my clients into thinking a certain way.
I always meet them in their doubt and we find
language or a workaround so that it resonates with them completely,
otherwise their brain will just never download it. Symptom number
(09:47):
four is the steps changed too frequently or quickly, okay,
and so your brain needs enough time to associate and
integrate and process habits in a way that would send
them back to the long term s storage area in
your brain. Okay, that's a very oversimplified way of saying it.
But if things are changing too quickly or frequently, you're
(10:08):
always going to need to be operating from a very
expensive part of your brain, like a very energy intensive
part of your brain, which is the prefrontal cortex. Okay,
and this is major brain threat when it comes to
your long term habit brain because it's just so energy intensive.
Your long term habit brain needs ease and flow. Also,
(10:28):
let's be honest, it's totally exhausting, right, and so if
you're always needing to be thinking about it or micromanaging
about it, right, that's no way to live. So you
want your winning game plan to just become easier as
you practice it in order for it to stick. So again,
if something doesn't get easier the more you practice it,
it actually gets harder. That's not ever going to be
(10:48):
learned by your long term storage brain. Symptom number five
is lack of belief in the steps. Okay, So this
is huge because again, if you don't have that emotional
in with the steps that you're taking you're going to
be doing them just to do them, and that day
will come that you get sick of forcing yourself and
talking yourself into things, because the right planner, program or
(11:11):
strategy for you is always going to take into account
your doubts and help you move past them rather than
just ignore them or paper over them with like working harder,
which a lot of things do. It's like, oh, don't
worry about that, just work harder, just you know, dig faster,
dig harder, dig deeper, all the things. And it's like, no,
let's actually move past them and work through them, because
your brain is telling you something. And oftentimes, again if
(11:33):
it's a lack of belief, like you don't have that
buy in, that's a big deal that you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Just paper over.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Symptom number six is lack of belief in the outcome.
And so here's the reality. My inner lazy gal and
I feel like we all have one, and it's really
just me not wanting to work harder than I have to.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I'd rather work smarter.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
But my inner lazy gal, she's not afraid of hard work,
but she also doesn't want to have to work harder
than she has to. And So if I have doubts
or I just flat out don't believe that my hard
work will pay off for me in the short run
and the long run, chances are I'm not going to
do it very long, if at all, and I promise
you your inner lazy gal won't either, And so that's why
(12:12):
it's so important to have belief that this will work
for you. But also the number one thing I hear
is LeeAnne, like, what if I'm the one person this
doesn't work for Because my clients before they do this work,
they think like things like my brain is way more
broken than your other clients, or they just think that
they are broken, period out of sentence. And this is
so so valid, especially if you've tried a thousand things
(12:33):
that didn't work and you have that kind of girl
who cried Wolf syndrome as I call it.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
This isn't something that does just.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Kind of magically go away on its own. You've got
to address those beliefs. And if you want to learn
more about that specifically, definitely go back and check out
last week's episode of Outwagh, which was literally called are
you the Girl who Cried Wolf? And what's really causing
self sabotage, So go ahead and check that on out.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Symptom number seven.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Is it's the wrong timing. And so timing is an everything,
but it really is a big something. And so if
you want to successfully move in the direction of any
goal seeking endeavor for anything, but especially with.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Your health, your body, it does take.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
A certain amount of time and energy and heart and
soul and like sweat equity right that time, that mental
real estate. And granted it doesn't have to be as
hard as it's possibly been being made for you up
until now, but timing does matter, Okay, so keep that
in mind too.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Symptom number eight is maybe you're not ready for either.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
The next step or the next phase or coaching or
input around it in general. Okay, So sometimes for me,
like I'm just not ready, like I'm not.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
There yet, or you know, for me, by the way.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
When i know I'm not like, I know it, I
feel it in my gut, I hear that truth coming
from my heart.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But the same is true for when I'm simply not coachable.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Right, so whether I'm overwhelmed or I'm still maybe I'm
just organizing my thoughts on the matter, or I just
don't want input or advice on this at the moment, right,
I know in my heart and in my gut when
this is the case. And honestly, I have a feeling
that if you look to yours, you would know when
this feels true for you, right. And that's why I
always ask my clients before I invite them into stressful seating,
(14:14):
like are you ready to be coachable? First of all,
is this the right time? But also are you ready
to be coachable?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Like?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Are you looking for someone to hold that mirror up
to you and walk you through your.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Own blind spots that you can't really see on your
own because you know you can't just diy your way
through healing that your relationship with food and your self
image and all of that.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And if the answer is no, then.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It's just not the right time for them, right or
they're not ready to be coachable, which is totally cool,
But you want to know that before you go commit
to something. Symptom number nine is you're already committed to
another system. And so I wanted to invite you to
really give yourself the gift of directed focus and energy
and strategy and direction and not dabble and try to
(14:58):
dip your toes in to a bunch of things at
once that you aren't really doing wholeheartedly. Now, there's of
course exceptions to this, like so, for example, experimentation, you
might be trying a bunch of different.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Things that wants to see what fits.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
But it's not like following a whole other system in
parallel with the system that you're following, right, And so
if you are going to commit to something, do it
with your whole heart, or at least wait until you
get there, or go do what you need to do
to create that space for that to happen. But too
many cooks in the kitchen will just confuse you or
(15:32):
just cause you overwhelm and then symptom number ten. This
one might sound a little bit weird, but it's super
super common, and it's that you don't want it to succeed.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You don't want it to succeed.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And so, imagine a situation that you couldn't wait to
get out of right, A conversation, a situation, a decision
you were just like dreading it, You couldn't wait.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
To get out of it right.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
How fast were you waiting to run for the trees?
Or maybe you were like obsessively following this second hand
on the clock to the minute hand, hoping that time
would fast forward so you could break free out of there. Right,
how long do you think you're going to stick with
a program or an experience or again an air quotes lifestyle.
If you absolutely hate it and you can't wait for
(16:15):
it to end, the inner rebel in you will drive
that car into a wall so fast just to let
you off the hook or see it come to an end. Right,
trust me, you will subconsciously undermine your success if you
hate it. And again, I know that sounds kind of
you know, counterintuitive. It's like leanne, I don't want it
to succeed.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Of course I do.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But again, a lot of times this isn't conscious. It's
unconscious or subconscious. And that's why again, if you hate
it and you can't wait for it to end, like
it is not the system for you, and you will
unconsciously undermine it.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
So that is it? Okay?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That is your top ten symptoms or reasons why your
previous plans didn't work or maybe they caused chaos in
your mind that you now have awareness of and you
can filter through things with win wisdom and discernment so
that you can really move forward.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In your healing journey.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And so I hope you got the clarity and whatever
golden nugget you needed to hear today, I hope you
got just that. And if you want to learn more
about how to turn off the part of your brain
that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and
rewire your own brain for freedom and peace, then head
on over to Stressless Eating dot com and sign up
to watch this Stressless Eating sneak.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Preview where I have literally just peeled back the.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Curtain and walked you through the exact strategy that I
teach my clients to heal themselves from that all or
nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves, without
punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
words like macros or low.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Carb or calorie burn.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
So it's there for you over to access on Stressless
Eating dot com and if you like Outweigh, I actually
have another podcast here on Iheartware. I talk about all
of this self image and body image stuff, but from
the perspective of where our brain science intersects faith, and
it is called What's God Got to Do with It?
And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
(18:08):
you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Leanne Ellington and I will talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Bye.
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning love who I am A g strong, I
feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me it is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it.
But she'll some love to the food. Why get there,
sag go day and did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday Outway.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and I'm back for another solo episode today,
and today I want to talk about something that I
get asked by a lot of women who might be
past the acute struggles of their eating disorder and disordered eating,
but they want to figure out, like what's next for me?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Right?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
How can I create a health plan that keeps in
mind that I want to protect my relationship with food
and my newfound freedom from the disord, but I also
want to take care of my health at the same time.
And this is such a powerful topic because oftentimes following
really unhealthy plans or listening to the wrong people is
what creates our disordered patterns in the first place. And
(01:13):
so it's really important that you know before you commit
to the next thing that even though you know the
acute healing journey might be over. It really does need
to be a long term way of thinking and way
of living where you keep in mind that your relationship
with food will always be a bit more complex than
maybe some of the people that you know, and there
is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And so please don't
(01:37):
hear what I'm not saying though, right Like, you are
not broken, You're not a delicate flower, but you do
need to keep in mind that you have a unique
relationship with food in your body, and you worked hard,
or maybe you're currently working hard for your freedom, and
it's important to protect that. Okay, So I know for
me that when it comes to experimenting with different ways
of thinking around food or different ways of moving my body,
(01:59):
the first thing I have to keep in mind is
that my number one priority is my mental and emotional
health and everything really just follows that. And so if
the plan or program that I'm following out votes that
it is not the right program or plan for me.
And that's what I want to talk about today, like
how do you know if it's healthy or.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Helpful to move forward or for moving forward?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And since obviously I can't talk to you individually, I
kind of came up with a with a filter for
lack of atter way of saying it, that you can
look through to just make sure that you're prioritizing your
mental emotional health and your healing journey, but also feeling
like you have the confidence to stick to a plan
or hire a professional to help you move forward in
your health goals. Okay, And in order to do that,
(02:46):
I feel like it's so important to see where old
plans or programs might have created disorder in the first place,
or where they may have fallen short, so that you
can be on the lookout for that when you're planning.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
The next chapter.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Let's talk about that, so that you can go figure
out where your system was broken or creating toxicity or
disorder and go do something about it. Okay, But first off,
I want to just do a quick thought experiment with you,
so real quick.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Just close your.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Eyes, okay, and whatever you do, don't think about the
color blue, like red, green, even yellow, but not blue. Okay,
do not think about the color blue. Do not think
about blue skies or blue oceans, or blue crayons or
markers or blue cars. Just don't think about the color blue.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Period.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Well, how did that work for you, were you able
to not think about the color blue?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
And so I'm not.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Saying it's impossible, but I have a feeling that it
was pretty darn hard to not picture the color blue
in your mind. Because anytime we are told not to
do something that particular something becomes harder to avoid, especially
once it's brought to our front of mind awareness and
if it's something we desire. And that's how willpower works
(03:58):
or really doesn't work, I should say, because think about
willpower like a muscle that gets exhausted with too much use,
or if you just rely on it too much. And
so essentially, every day you wake up with limited amounts
of this self control energy that we call willpower, and
once it's.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Gone, it's gone.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And you could absolutely strengthen this muscle with practice and training,
but you can also put yourself in situations to not
need or.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Rely on it so much.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
And so, of course this brings me to one of
my favorite topics and a topic that never seems to
go along without my attention, which is food. So what
would your world look like if you didn't have to
constantly exert your willpower muscles day in day out around
food and what would your life feel like if food
wasn't such a battle between yourself and yourself? Right like
(04:46):
that those thoughts of you know, should I eat this,
or like, no, it's bad for you, or then your
voice goes but I want it, or and then your
other voices like, but no, your diet, you'll ruin it.
And then of course the other voice comes in and
it's like, oh, screw it, just give me the chocolate
or whatever it is, right, and that all out binge
warfare ensues. And remember again, this is the kind of
thought process that creates a lot of the disorder in
(05:07):
the first place. And so I'm sure we have all
experienced this a time or two when we have that
face off between our air quotes weakened self and our
strongest self. And I know I have a time or ten.
But that's really what we're here to talk about, getting passed.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
So let's look at that. What is the solution to that?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
And what if you didn't have to depend on every
morsel of your willpower energy every single day, And what
if your life was designed based on freedom.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
And choice and permission, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
You had those stores of willpower by your side when
you really needed them. But it wasn't this thing that
you had to rely on and like scratch to get
and fight for every single day. So that's what I
want you to keep in mind as we go through
these symptoms of the things that possibly caused the disorder
in the first place.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But also you can kind of use this as a filter.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
To make sure that you don't fall down the same
rabbit hole again, and you can finally understand the reasons
why your previous plans didn't work or cause that chaos
in your mind and really understand, like really in your bones,
get it that you're not broken. It just wasn't the
right plan for you because of what we're talking about today.
And again too, like you can stop feeling like there's
(06:18):
something wrong with you because you can't get yourself to
do all the things that you air quotes know how
to do, because I sure assure you that that's not
the case. Okay, there's nothing wrong with you at all.
You're just experiencing, like we talked about, the symptoms of
a broken system. And it really is just that's what
the law of cause and effect does. It's cause and
effect in action, only this time it's working against you.
(06:40):
And so we want the law of cause and effect
to work for you, Okay, And that's why it's so
important to understand the reasons that something didn't work so
that you can move forward in your healing journey. And
so let's just start talking about those, starting with symptom
number one, which is there is no system. So perhaps
you're wandering around aimless, perhaps you've decided to not follow anything,
(07:03):
or perhaps you haven't found your system forgetting and keeping
your version of results. And a lot of us listening
to this podcast, the definition of results is just freedom,
more peace of mind, feeling like you are back in
charge of your brain. Right and either way, like think
about a plane with no destination point, won't get anywhere
that you could possibly predict, right.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And so that's why I want to talk to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
You about this idea that if you still feel like
you're not when you're not on something, you go off
that metaphorical deep end and maybe you feel like, oh
my gosh, I'm going to gain a bunch of weight
or I'm going to totally lose control. That probably means
that you haven't replaced the old thinking with a system
of thinking that actually sets you free. And that's Honestly,
one of the biggest things I talk about with my
(07:47):
clients before they start my stressless eeeding program is like,
if they're no longer on that binge restrict cycle or
the obsession cycle, but they don't replace that old thinking
that they've been using for many, many years.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Some of them, it's a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
That just creates another problem, right, because our brains need
order and they need a systematic way to approach things,
especially when it comes to food. If you have experienced
disorder in your past. Symptom number two is it's too
complex to understand, right, And so if you don't get
it or simply following it kind of like hurts your
(08:20):
brain or stresses you out or makes it just a
pain in the butt to stick with, you won't right.
And so I don't have to really go any deeper
than that because if it's making your brain hurt, you're
not going to do it very long and it will
never become the air quotes lifestyle that a lot of
plans and programs are kind of saying that they are,
but they really aren't and they never will be. Symptom
number three is there's unclear intent or intention for the
(08:45):
steps that are laid out for you. So if you're
not fully clear or don't understand why you're doing something,
you're never going to have that full emotional buy in
that you need to ever really own the steps and
own the journey. And you're always going to be doing
them out of that voice that's telling you that.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
You should or that you're supposed to.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
And eventually you'll get sick of persuading yourself or talking
yourself into things, and who'd blame you? Like, that's a
lot of work, right, So one of the things I
teach my clients is about the importance of something called
positive neuro associations, which only exists when something resonates or
at least it just doesn't go against.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
What you think, like, it doesn't create a disconnect.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And that's why I am never here to convince or
persuade or coerce my clients into thinking a certain way.
I always meet them in their doubt and we find
language or a workaround so that it resonates with them completely,
otherwise their brain will just never download it. Symptom number
(09:47):
four is the steps changed too frequently or quickly, okay,
and so your brain needs enough time to associate and
integrate and process habits in a way that would send
them back to the long term s storage area in
your brain. Okay, that's a very oversimplified way of saying it.
But if things are changing too quickly or frequently, you're
(10:08):
always going to need to be operating from a very
expensive part of your brain, like a very energy intensive
part of your brain, which is the prefrontal cortex. Okay,
and this is major brain threat when it comes to
your long term habit brain because it's just so energy intensive.
Your long term habit brain needs ease and flow. Also,
(10:28):
let's be honest, it's totally exhausting, right, and so if
you're always needing to be thinking about it or micromanaging
about it, right, that's no way to live. So you
want your winning game plan to just become easier as
you practice it in order for it to stick. So again,
if something doesn't get easier the more you practice it,
it actually gets harder. That's not ever going to be
(10:48):
learned by your long term storage brain. Symptom number five
is lack of belief in the steps. Okay, So this
is huge because again, if you don't have that emotional
in with the steps that you're taking you're going to
be doing them just to do them, and that day
will come that you get sick of forcing yourself and
talking yourself into things, because the right planner, program or
(11:11):
strategy for you is always going to take into account
your doubts and help you move past them rather than
just ignore them or paper over them with like working harder,
which a lot of things do. It's like, oh, don't
worry about that, just work harder, just you know, dig faster,
dig harder, dig deeper, all the things. And it's like, no,
let's actually move past them and work through them, because
your brain is telling you something. And oftentimes, again if
(11:33):
it's a lack of belief, like you don't have that
buy in, that's a big deal that you don't want to.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Just paper over.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
Symptom number six is lack of belief in the outcome.
And so here's the reality. My inner lazy gal and
I feel like we all have one, and it's really
just me not wanting to work harder than I have to.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I'd rather work smarter.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
But my inner lazy gal, she's not afraid of hard work,
but she also doesn't want to have to work harder
than she has to. And So if I have doubts
or I just flat out don't believe that my hard
work will pay off for me in the short run
and the long run, chances are I'm not going to
do it very long, if at all, and I promise
you your inner lazy gal won't either, And so that's why
(12:12):
it's so important to have belief that this will work
for you. But also the number one thing I hear
is LeeAnne, like, what if I'm the one person this
doesn't work for Because my clients before they do this work,
they think like things like my brain is way more
broken than your other clients, or they just think that
they are broken, period out of sentence. And this is
so so valid, especially if you've tried a thousand things
(12:33):
that didn't work and you have that kind of girl
who cried Wolf syndrome as I call it.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
This isn't something that does just.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Kind of magically go away on its own. You've got
to address those beliefs. And if you want to learn
more about that specifically, definitely go back and check out
last week's episode of Outwagh, which was literally called are
you the Girl who Cried Wolf? And what's really causing
self sabotage, So go ahead and check that on out.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Symptom number seven.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Is it's the wrong timing. And so timing is an everything,
but it really is a big something. And so if
you want to successfully move in the direction of any
goal seeking endeavor for anything, but especially with.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Your health, your body, it does take.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
A certain amount of time and energy and heart and
soul and like sweat equity right that time, that mental
real estate. And granted it doesn't have to be as
hard as it's possibly been being made for you up
until now, but timing does matter, Okay, so keep that
in mind too.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Symptom number eight is maybe you're not ready for either.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
The next step or the next phase or coaching or
input around it in general. Okay, So sometimes for me,
like I'm just not ready, like I'm not.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
There yet, or you know, for me, by the way.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
When i know I'm not like, I know it, I
feel it in my gut, I hear that truth coming
from my heart.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
But the same is true for when I'm simply not coachable.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Right, so whether I'm overwhelmed or I'm still maybe I'm
just organizing my thoughts on the matter, or I just
don't want input or advice on this at the moment, right,
I know in my heart and in my gut when
this is the case. And honestly, I have a feeling
that if you look to yours, you would know when
this feels true for you, right. And that's why I
always ask my clients before I invite them into stressful seating,
(14:14):
like are you ready to be coachable? First of all,
is this the right time? But also are you ready
to be coachable?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Like?
Speaker 2 (14:20):
Are you looking for someone to hold that mirror up
to you and walk you through your.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
Own blind spots that you can't really see on your
own because you know you can't just diy your way
through healing that your relationship with food and your self
image and all of that.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And if the answer is no, then.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It's just not the right time for them, right or
they're not ready to be coachable, which is totally cool,
But you want to know that before you go commit
to something. Symptom number nine is you're already committed to
another system. And so I wanted to invite you to
really give yourself the gift of directed focus and energy
and strategy and direction and not dabble and try to
(14:58):
dip your toes in to a bunch of things at
once that you aren't really doing wholeheartedly. Now, there's of
course exceptions to this, like so, for example, experimentation, you
might be trying a bunch of different.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Things that wants to see what fits.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
But it's not like following a whole other system in
parallel with the system that you're following, right, And so
if you are going to commit to something, do it
with your whole heart, or at least wait until you
get there, or go do what you need to do
to create that space for that to happen. But too
many cooks in the kitchen will just confuse you or
(15:32):
just cause you overwhelm and then symptom number ten. This
one might sound a little bit weird, but it's super
super common, and it's that you don't want it to succeed.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
You don't want it to succeed.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And so, imagine a situation that you couldn't wait to
get out of right, A conversation, a situation, a decision
you were just like dreading it, You couldn't wait.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
To get out of it right.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
How fast were you waiting to run for the trees?
Or maybe you were like obsessively following this second hand
on the clock to the minute hand, hoping that time
would fast forward so you could break free out of there. Right,
how long do you think you're going to stick with
a program or an experience or again an air quotes lifestyle.
If you absolutely hate it and you can't wait for
(16:15):
it to end, the inner rebel in you will drive
that car into a wall so fast just to let
you off the hook or see it come to an end. Right,
trust me, you will subconsciously undermine your success if you
hate it. And again, I know that sounds kind of
you know, counterintuitive. It's like leanne, I don't want it
to succeed.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Of course I do.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
But again, a lot of times this isn't conscious. It's
unconscious or subconscious. And that's why again, if you hate
it and you can't wait for it to end, like
it is not the system for you, and you will
unconsciously undermine it.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
So that is it? Okay?
Speaker 3 (16:48):
That is your top ten symptoms or reasons why your
previous plans didn't work or maybe they caused chaos in
your mind that you now have awareness of and you
can filter through things with win wisdom and discernment so
that you can really move forward.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In your healing journey.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
And so I hope you got the clarity and whatever
golden nugget you needed to hear today, I hope you
got just that. And if you want to learn more
about how to turn off the part of your brain
that's obsessed with food or obsessed with your weight and
rewire your own brain for freedom and peace, then head
on over to Stressless Eating dot com and sign up
to watch this Stressless Eating sneak.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Preview where I have literally just peeled back the.
Speaker 3 (17:28):
Curtain and walked you through the exact strategy that I
teach my clients to heal themselves from that all or
nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves, without
punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
words like macros or low.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Carb or calorie burn.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
So it's there for you over to access on Stressless
Eating dot com and if you like Outweigh, I actually
have another podcast here on Iheartware. I talk about all
of this self image and body image stuff, but from
the perspective of where our brain science intersects faith, and
it is called What's God Got to Do with It?
And you can access it here on iHeart or wherever
(18:08):
you get your podcasts. So that's it for today. I'm
Leanne Ellington and I will talk to you soon.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Bye.
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