May 7, 2022 • 28 mins
Amy and Lisa discuss the dangers of Kim K’s recent comment at the met gala and how to F*RK THE NOISE in all areas of life. Plus, a bittersweet announcement about the future of Outweigh and the direction Lisa is going in!
Ruthie Friedlander’s article on Elle HERE.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm
made do. Won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
it's beautiful and then will always out way if you
(00:24):
feel it with your hands in here, she'll some love
to the boom. That's say, good day and time did
you and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh fam Amy here
and hello. It's Lisa very excited to be here with
all of you today and give you some news, some
(00:44):
updates and some bitter sweet feelings that I'm having. Yeah,
bitter sweet for sure. But before we get into some
of those updates and exciting things and and changes, and
it's just I feel like for me, this isn't an
episode two we're gonna talk about some outweigh type things,
because this podcast is about diet culture, disordered eating disorders,
(01:06):
different things, the gray area. That's where we started with
it too, back in early was the conception aboutweigh. But
something happened recently with Kim Kardashian, which we're going to
touch on a second. But what I wanted to say
was I am excited to kind of talk about, you know,
the evolution of of people and evolving and and knowing
(01:27):
when the right time to do something for yourself is
and still having people that are going to support you
no matter what. So we're gonna kind of dive into
some stuff that's not really the outweigh feeling, but will
still hopefully be encouraging to a lot of you listening now.
Lisa and I are gonna unpack Kim Kardashian's comment from
earlier this week before the Met Gala. Obviously, there's been
(01:49):
a lot of buzz around Kim's Kardashian to lose a
significant amount of weight in a shorter period time to
fit into address on social media. I personally did not
contribute to this conversation until today because I felt like
a for me personally, it was in one ear out
the other. This is ridiculous. I'm not personally phased by
(02:11):
Kim Kardashian, and most importantly, I felt like the more
energy we put into other people, the more we continue
this conversation. That being said, harmful behavior comments need to
be called out because the Lisa that's speaking today is
not the Lisa who Lisa has always been. I definitely
(02:34):
would have been super susceptible to these types of comments
in my past. In fact, I remember, for prom, you know,
being as young as seventeen eighteen and loving this dress
that I really wanted to quote unquote fit into and
spending so much time and energy just to quote unquote
fit into it. And at the end of the day,
I didn't end up wearing that dress because it wasn't
(02:56):
comfortable and I wanted to be comfortable. But obviously, you know,
me who's unfazed today is very different than most people
who are affected by celebrities, whether it's Kim or anybody else.
So I'm curious for you, Amy, how did how did
that comment land with you as somebody who's going through
recovery and you know, just making her way out on
the other end, and also in the media has to
(03:19):
fit into dresses, hit the red carpet and all that
that you have a lot of pressure for. Well, when
all of this went down, I literally was filming a movie,
which sounds weird to say because I'm not an actress,
but I was part of a Christmas movie that's coming
out this holiday season where I'm playing myself because I
am co host of a radio show for I Heart Radio,
the Bobby Bones Show, and there's a musical artist in
(03:41):
the movie, so it made sense like to have a
partnership with I Heart. So it's the only reason why
I'm in it. But I feel as though, like Amy
two years ago, if I had heard that, I would
have been like, oh, yes, it would have validated what
I would have been doing to get ready for this movie,
because I would have starved myself no matter what I
would have restricted. I us is a better way to
(04:01):
say it, and then coming off the movie, I would
have definitely binged. And what I can say about this
week is similar to you Lisa two years into recovery,
because Lisa taught me how to fork the noise, and
that is what that was to me. This week, I
was like, oh, this is just noise and it's not
even affecting me. But similar to you, Lisa, I wasn't
always that person. So I am sensitive to the fact
(04:22):
that somebody else heard that and it validated what they
were doing. Sometimes all anybody's looking for is some form
of affirmation that what they're doing is okay. And so
I know that there's a lot of men and women
that obviously heard what Kim Kardashian said, and it was
almost their permission slip to keep doing what they're doing.
And for me, I just I just was super thankful
(04:45):
to be in a place. And I want me saying
this to be the story of hope, because I didn't
know I would ever be on the other side of things.
I felt like I was just this was my life.
I was doomed to this misery of this binge restrict cycle,
and I went it into the movie eating adequately. I
filmed through the movie eating adequately, and I came out
(05:06):
of the filming eating adequately. And so that is my
current state. Now. I don't have the platform that Kim
Gardashian has by any means, but I also know what
it's like to say irresponsible comments because I used to
say things like that, whether it was on the Bobby
Bones Show or my four Things podcast before I got
(05:28):
into recovery myself, and I learned things from people like Lisa,
and I really gained the knowledge and the wisdom to
know the triggering things to say, the harmful behaviors I
was doing that I thought were innocent, because quite honestly,
most of society says, you know X y Z is okay.
So that's why I think it's cool too that a
lot of celebrities that also have big, big voices are
(05:49):
speaking up against what Kim said and they're saying that
so that way, hopefully some people that heard it as
permission will be like, wait, who whoa, whoa, what's this
person saying and they can listen to both sides and
then ultimately it's up to you. You have to make
the decision for your body. But my hope is that
we can all get past having to starve or fast
(06:11):
or juice in order to fit and address There's two
parts of this that obviously need to be tackled. Number
one is Kim has a cult like following. I'm not
part of it, and I don't really understand that when
it comes to any sort of celebrity, But nonetheless, she
has a loyal, loyal fan base whose ages really span
probably into the thirteen, fourteen, fifteen year olds, And I
(06:32):
think it's really important that all the information that they absorb,
you know, gets flagged, because hearing somebody say that not
being twenty thirty or forty years old, but really being
in your teens almost makes it sound like it's a
normal thing to do. If there's this dress and you
want to fit into it, you can spend all of
your energy putting it forth into that. And I think
that that is why, ultimately I'm glad that people have
(06:54):
gotten loud on social media and are calling her out
and showing her that does have responsibility. For me, it
sounded like this is so out of control. Are we
living in nineteen eighties, the snack well world? Like Kim
Kardashian knows better, That's the thing. And I sat with
it today. I was talking to one of my girlfriends
and she was kind of like, I just want Kim
(07:16):
Kardashian to get a little bit of a sting from this,
Like I want her to feel the cruelty that she's
putting out into the world. And I thought about it
for a second and I realized something that has really
softened both my feelings around the whole thing and also
my feelings for Kim, which is, I mean, when you
looked at Kim, like, would you have known that she
lost X amount of weight? No, I didn't really think
(07:37):
about it. She always looks, you know, perfectly tailored in
whatever she's wearing. Right, So my feeling is the reason
she said that, because we all know that Kim likes
to be in the limelight for an extended period of time,
would be that she wasn't getting the validation maybe that
she wanted for the behaviors that she did. So maybe
nobody was saying, Kim, you know you look so skinny
(07:57):
in that dress. Obviously the dress was about Maryland Monroe, right,
but she brought it back to herself by talking about
what she had to do. So in that way, I
felt like Kim is, of course suffering to like all
of us listening to this podcast either are suffering right
now or have in the past, and so much of
her life is about her body, right, and here we
are again talking about it more and more that I'm
(08:20):
almost like, where's the line where we stop feeding into it?
Because we're continuing it by giving it all that energy.
Does that make any sense? No, You're right, like I
haven't given it any energy on my personal Instagram, and
you and I this is where we're unpacking it. And
I think the reason why we wanted to discuss it
was for me was to again share that I've been there,
(08:43):
I've said damaging things and I didn't realize it that's
where I don't know fully, I think I know what
you're saying. Where Kim knows she has a platform and
she knows what she's saying, but I don't think she.
When you're living in it, and that's just kind of
how you live your life and restricting as part of it,
and restricting people around you are all restricting, you don't
realize the ripple effect that it has on someone that
(09:04):
literally might be starving themselves and then giving that validation
like to me, I wasn't. I wasn't woken up to it.
I remember listeners sending me emails about a cleanse I
was talking about one time that I was doing for
five days or something crazy. Oh, I and I also
do this other thing where I didn't eat food for
four days. It was nothing, I mean nothing, water and
(09:27):
something else. I don't know it was. I thought I
was doing it for my health, but anyhow, I was
proud of it and talking about it nonchalantly without taking
into consideration what I was spreading. And I didn't have
the wisdom though nobody had told me. And so I
remember getting an email from a listener that's saying telling
me they could no longer listen to my podcast because
I triggered them, and I remember getting defensive and thinking,
(09:50):
but no, this is healthy, and I'm just trying to
share information with you, and this is what I'm doing
for my body. Doesn't mean you have to do it.
And now if I were to get that email to day,
I'm just in such a better place that I would
reply back and thank them for calling me out. And
(10:10):
I think you bring up a good point about the
media celebrity industry, which you are a part of, Like
there's kind of like a step back at evolution. There
where a lot of the online world and people who
are immersed in day to day are a little bit
more woke, if you will, to diet culture to the
toxicity of those statements that you know when I watch
reality TV show, which is not often, but don't get
(10:31):
me wrong, I really do love like selling sunsets. I'm
reminded about how far the world needs to come, but
also like the celebrity space when we are fitting into
dresses all the time and there's all the spotlight. But
I do think a good way of how that changes
is by how much us the public chooses to consume
(10:52):
and interact with that content. If we stop buying into
all these headlines about somebody's body, the media won't report
it anymore because as we're not eating it up right.
So I think where obviously Kim has a tremendous amount
of responsibility here too, I hope that we all also
have some responsibility as to what we give our energy
(11:13):
to and what we continue on a more like global
macro level to feed into. And the reason I also
wanted to bring it up here on this specific podcast
is because of a really great article that I want
to share on the show notes that was written by
Ruthie Friedlander. She's an ex editor at l but she
came back to write this article called we Shouldn't Glorify
(11:35):
Kim Kardashian's met Gala crash Diet. Ruthie Friedlander also has
an organization called The Chain because she's in the fashion industry,
and obviously the fashion industry also is very susceptible and
kind of breeds eating disorder behavior, and having had one herself,
she kind of spoke about what Kim saying this did
to her eating disorder brain, and I just wanted to
(11:57):
read this for all of you who might feel really
seen by it. Listen. I love the Kardashians. I find
them as a family unit, funny and interesting. I also
love a theme party, and I've always appreciated the met
Gala attendees who really go for it. Give some examples
of people that have done it in the past. I
pause for a moment. Was this incredible performance art? Was
Kardashian showing dedication by supposedly losing weight to fit into
(12:19):
a dress and therefore into a character. Was this the
ultimate costume party commitment? And in turn, as I plan
for my friends theme party in l A at the
end of the month, can I also do something drastic
to be more quote unquote committed. I know what you're thinking.
That's a big stretch. But let me tell you how
eating disorder brains work. Eating disorder brains love to be tested.
Most people with eating disorders are competitive, high achieving individuals.
(12:41):
They're typically the kid in class that does the extra
credit assignment every single time. And she gives other examples
about all the different ways that she's been competitive, and
she brings up the fact that Kim Kardashian saying that
very quickly challenged her own brain to say, oh, can
I do that too? To fit into address. That's a
theme party to show dedication, and that's the slippery slope
(13:04):
for eating disordered brains. Disordered eating brains is we very
easily rationalized dangerous behavior because it feels like it brings
us back to that safe place where we used to
quote unquote thrive. I want to link this article below
because I think it's a really well written one on
triggering one and has a lot of valuable information, the
most important one being that there's absolutely nothing normal, healthy,
(13:27):
or cool about losing weight to fit into address. And
those are Ruthie's words. Well, and I think too. We're
talking celebrities here, but even let's just like size it
down and put you in your own family group, your
own friend group. Like what sometimes are some things you
just kind of said flippantly without really thinking them through
(13:48):
that then have an effect on a friend, a daughter,
a son, a spouse or whatever. Like this is just
something to also allow us to all think of what's
coming out of our mouths in our little world, because
nobody is I mean, Kim Kardashian is one of the
most famous people in the world. So as we're talking
about this, you're like, Okay, well, what blah blah blah.
(14:09):
That's it's not really relatable. She shouldn't have said it.
But it's a challenge too, for how are we how
are we speaking to ourselves? And then how are we
speaking around others too? And how are we affected by
the way others speak around us that are in our
close proximity and what does that affect on our own brains? Yeah,
and that makes me want to ask you, Lisa, just
as the founder of the noise and the tools that
(14:31):
I learned from you, because I'm able to shut that
stuff out now, but that wasn't always the case, and
that was a journey too. I learned step by step
and it took building those new neuropathways and just my
brain over and over and over again. So it doesn't
happen overnight. But let's say, you know, another article comes
out that's clickbait with this headline, or another celebrity or
(14:53):
someone has something in their friend circle or at home,
or something is said, what can we do to shut
it down? The most important thing when I comes to
noise is knowing that we can't get rid of it all.
We can't create this picture perfect world bubble that we
live in where we are all safe. What we need
to do is equip ourselves with tools to identify the noise.
So moments when you were bleeding out more energy than
(15:14):
you were putting back into yourself, or you notice yourself
really changing your behaviors that no longer fit in with
who you're trying to become. So I urge all of
you to know that we can't live in a perfect world.
Celebrities are going to do things, parents, friends are going
to say things. But the more a tune we become
to noticing the noise, the better we become a pivoting
(15:36):
away and doing exactly what you said, Amy, which is
creating a new neural pathway, which is okay. I noticed
how that made me feel. I feel triggered. I'm thinking
about maybe changing my diet and doing something restrictive or
in line with disordered eating or disordered living, and instead
I'm going to do this right. And you do that
enough times. The first time, by the way, is the
hardest time. The second time, you're like patting yourself on
(15:58):
the back. The third time, fourth, fifth time, it almost
becomes effortless, and sometimes is effortless, like for me hearing
that comment about from Kim Kardashian like it was in
one ear out the other. This is so ridiculous. It
doesn't serve me. I'm not going to waste a second
on it is where I personally was with that, and
I know that that's not where everybody is, obviously, but
(16:20):
I do believe that everybody can get there. That makes
me think of the Chinese proverb, which is the best
time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The
second best time is now, and you know, and Lisa said,
you know, the first time you you do this, that's
going to be the hardest time, and then it's going
to be easier. And for me, I spent many years
being like, oh I'll do it tomorrow. Oh start tomorrow.
Oh I'll start there tomorrow, because it was terrifying and
(16:42):
it was hard. But think of that Chinese proverb and
imagine yourself like having just the best time to start
is now. Yeah, it would have been great to do
it yesterday, ten years ago, twenty years goes okay, but
you didn't do it now, and then ten years from
now you're gonna be like, wow, I did it. So
I mean that's where you focus, is where your energy
is going to flow. So if you notice yourself giving
(17:04):
more energy to the headlines or reading certain things, we're
thinking about certain things, that's where your energy is going
to go. So we play a pivotal role in shifting away.
And you know when you were talking a second ago, Lisa,
you talked about pivoting, and you know, I physically when
you said it, pictured myself just turning away and that
(17:26):
that's kind of what you have to do when you
hear the noise. You just have to pivot and keep
pivoting and practice and doing it over and over. And
speaking of pivoting, I'm going to pivot this conversation to
talk about Lisa and where she is in her life
and you know that evolving we were talking about and
(17:46):
some changes that are going to be taking place. So Lisa,
I'm gonna handle the mic to you, and I want
you to share with people what's going on in your life.
Amazing use of pivot. Pivot. I had to just use
that opportunity shout out front. On a more bitter sweet note,
Amy and I have co hosted Outweigh together for the
past two years. I remember the first call that Amy
(18:07):
and I had when we came up with the idea
about how to serve a community in need. And it
has been such an honor to serve this community every
Saturday for the past year and a half and a
little bit before that when out Way lived on four
Things podcast. But my life has gotten a little bit
more complicated since having a baby, and I have decided
(18:30):
to take a step down from co hosting with Amy
so that this platform can grow and be the best
that it can be, Because, just to be honest with
you all, having a baby has definitely caused me to
struggle to manage my time appropriately and I truly want
(18:50):
to only do things that I can give my all too.
And I think Amy knows, you know, for a while
I've been I'm so passionate about this community, about all
of you, about the work that we do, that it
has been a really hard decision to make. But I
ultimately know that it's going to be best for all
of you for me to take a step back for
(19:12):
the foreseeable future and let Amy really lead you all
every Saturday from here on out. Well, and this podcast
would have never happened, or even that the four part
series where just that's all. It was going to be
a four part series on four things. I remember calling Lisa.
I was my my dad was in the hospital. I
think it was like winter, like before Christmas, two thousand nineteen,
(19:34):
and I'm like, I have an idea and it never
would have come to fruition or happened without Lisa. So she's,
you know, just a crucial, crucial piece to the Outweigh puzzle.
And I was so honored that she joined me on
this journey and I'm so thankful that she was able
to come to me and you know, share with me
what was on her heart and mind and her you know,
(19:54):
where where she was headed. And I want to see
my friends flourish. And I know a minute ago, Lisa,
you said this is going to be the best decision
for our listeners, or the best you know, you wanted
it to be the best thing for them. But I'm
looking at you saying that, and I know that you're
so thoughtful and thinking of them, but I know it's
the best decision for you. And I'm excited to see
you thrive in things you're passionate about. I know you're
(20:17):
still passionate about Outweigh, of course you always will be.
But you have the truthiest life where you want to
give your all. You have your Fork, the Noise community,
you have your husband, Evan, you have your daughter, like
you have all these things, your family, You're very you.
I I just respect you immensely and I'm excited to
(20:39):
see where Outweigh goes. You'll still come on as a
guest from time to time, and we're gonna have other
experts on because I do not put myself into that
category at all whatsoever. I'm just someone that has lived
through it, lived through and eating disorder disordered behaviors, and
am now in recovery. So I definitely want to keep
Outweigh going as that weekly piece of encourage meant for people.
(21:01):
But again, Lisa, it would have never happened without you.
I have loved being part of this and I just
want to let all of our listeners know that I'm
not abandoning you and I'm still here for you. My email,
my social media platforms will continue to be places to
feel supported and heard and learn. However, I am being
called a little bit to talk about food nutrition bodies
(21:24):
in a slightly different way and in full transparency. I
actually don't know exactly what that's going to look like,
but I know that I need a little bit of
time and space in order to get the clarity to
figure it out so that I can serve from my
truest place of right now. So I'm still going to
be in this space. I am definitely still mission oriented
into teaching others how to fork the noise, how to
(21:47):
live from within their bodies, but I need a little
time now to kind of reconfigure how to best do
that day in a day out. So Lisa's instagram, her
personal one is at Lisa hame H a y I am,
but then her podcast, The Truthist Life also has an
Instagram which the handle is just that the Truthist Life.
And you recently posted a quote from yourself that said,
(22:11):
we can be successful in so many different ways, but
if we're not aligned with what feels good, how successful
are we really? And I know that you know Outweigh
feels good and it's an amazing thing you're putting out
in the world, but it no longer was serving you
where you are right now as a co host. And
so again I I told you, We've had multiple calls
(22:31):
about this, and every single call, I like, Lisa, I
just want to come alongside and help you be the
best version of you that you need to be right now.
And if you call me in here and you're like,
what up, I want to come back and be like hello,
welcome ours. If you tell me, hey, I can't ever
be a guest co host again, too much going on,
I'm like, that's okay, Like I just want to see
you shine, and I know that's exactly what you're gonna do.
(22:54):
And I'm just so thankful for you on so many levels.
I've said it a million times, but Lisa was a
huge to my recovery puzzle. And yeah, it's it's bitter
sweet for sure. Like we had to you know, sign
some contracts stuff the other day and it was just like, oh, shoot,
this is real. But I even think of the different
emails and listeners that we've met, you know, in the
(23:15):
d M s or out and about in public or
notes people have shared with how Outweigh has impacted them,
and I'm like, Lisa, that's cool. We were a part
of that, and that's special. It's amazing. And like I said,
this has been the hardest decision to make because I
kid you, not the people that found me through either
you Amy or through this podcast our family to me.
(23:36):
You are the kindest, best people in the entire world,
and I hope that I can continue to be part
of your world even as I take a step back.
In taking a step back here, I just wanted to
leave off with some valuable quick tips or reminders that
you possibly may need as summer season picks up, life
picks up, and just some reminders that we kind of
(23:57):
just need to hear, so I'm just going to list
them off really quick. Number one is, spend more time
focusing on yourself than you do on other people. Kind
of similar to that Kim Kardashian conversation. Where you focus
is where your energy is going to flow, and you
are in control of your energy every step of the way.
Number two, notice when you're justifying eating disorder behavior or
thoughts and call yourself out. Nobody is going to keep
(24:20):
you accountable if you're not going to keep yourself accountable.
Number three, find a safe buddy or person who doesn't
have food related issues in the past to confide in
and kind of speak out loud these disordered thoughts as
you have them. Number four, know that you are allowed
to enjoy food. If something tastes good doesn't mean that
(24:41):
it's bad. For you doesn't mean that it's going to
change your body. We don't need to associate those two
things forever. Food can and should be enjoyable. Number five.
Your body doesn't have a clock. Please remember this one
when you're hungry at ten am, six am, one pm,
whatever time you've decided, is not the time that your
body should be hungry. Number six, negative or negative framed
(25:06):
thoughts are always going to come up. Right. We might
say things about our body, or they might be in passing.
I want to offer you the wisdom to not attach
to them or think of them even as a setback.
These things are going to happen, and instead we can
use them as an opportunity to approach them differently. So
continue the conversation with yourself when you notice yourself saying
something about your body, or um when you notice fears
(25:28):
coming up. Number seven, Imagine how powerful or successful you
could be if you gave all that energy that you
give to food in your body to something else. So
think about something else that you want in your life,
giving all those countless hours that you've given away towards
that thing that you want. Imagine where you could be today,
because you could be there tomorrow I'll just tack on
(25:50):
like a couple of things before we wrap. And you know,
we started off talking about the Kim Kardashian thing and
her making herself smaller for for this event, and that's
just how I bent so much of my time, like
making myself small. And it's not just my body, but
my everything, my being, my soul, my spirit, my brain,
(26:10):
because it was just all consumed. And you know, there's
just so much life to be lived, so just remember
that and then I feel like, you know, just to
recap a few takeaways from today is you know, fork
the noise. Fork the noise of whatever you're hearing, whether
it's a celebrity headline or it's something in your friend
circle or in your own home. You just have to
(26:33):
start today stick a fork in it no more. And
then also find your people that are going to help
you know, validate you and what you want to do
with your life and who you are and who's supportive.
And I know sometimes it's hard to make really tough
decisions that change for yourself. But maybe you have partnerships
(26:53):
or things going on with other people. But if you
have decided that this is what's best for you, then
come up with the thoughtful plan to deliver it and
know that everything will work out and it will be okay.
But you've got to do what ultimately is best for you,
not for anybody else. And so I'm thankful that Lisa
is able to come on Outweigh and share her experience
(27:14):
with where she's moving forward in her life right now.
And I can't wait to keep following along as a friend,
but also you know, as a as a business supporter
and just with the truth fious life and and everything
that you put out there. And I look forward to
my my Sunday newsletter from Lisa lately every week. Thank
you so much, and thank you so much to every
(27:36):
single listener who has been part of this. Thank you
for allowing us to be little voices in your ear
during your hard times. It's been such an honor. And
this will not be the last that you hear from me.
And I'm so excited to hear the places that Amy's
going to take out Weigh and all of you. Hey, Okay,
all right, love you Lisa, Love you well. Okay. By
I won't let my body out outwait everything that I'm
made do. Won't spend my life trying to change. I'm
learning to love who I am. I get I'm strong,
I feel free, I know who every part of me
it's beautiful and then will always out way if you
(00:24):
feel it with your hands in here, she'll some love
to the boom. That's say, good day and time did
you and die out? Happy Saturday? Outweigh fam Amy here
and hello. It's Lisa very excited to be here with
all of you today and give you some news, some
(00:44):
updates and some bitter sweet feelings that I'm having. Yeah,
bitter sweet for sure. But before we get into some
of those updates and exciting things and and changes, and
it's just I feel like for me, this isn't an
episode two we're gonna talk about some outweigh type things,
because this podcast is about diet culture, disordered eating disorders,
(01:06):
different things, the gray area. That's where we started with
it too, back in early was the conception aboutweigh. But
something happened recently with Kim Kardashian, which we're going to
touch on a second. But what I wanted to say
was I am excited to kind of talk about, you know,
the evolution of of people and evolving and and knowing
(01:27):
when the right time to do something for yourself is
and still having people that are going to support you
no matter what. So we're gonna kind of dive into
some stuff that's not really the outweigh feeling, but will
still hopefully be encouraging to a lot of you listening now.
Lisa and I are gonna unpack Kim Kardashian's comment from
earlier this week before the Met Gala. Obviously, there's been
(01:49):
a lot of buzz around Kim's Kardashian to lose a
significant amount of weight in a shorter period time to
fit into address on social media. I personally did not
contribute to this conversation until today because I felt like
a for me personally, it was in one ear out
the other. This is ridiculous. I'm not personally phased by
(02:11):
Kim Kardashian, and most importantly, I felt like the more
energy we put into other people, the more we continue
this conversation. That being said, harmful behavior comments need to
be called out because the Lisa that's speaking today is
not the Lisa who Lisa has always been. I definitely
(02:34):
would have been super susceptible to these types of comments
in my past. In fact, I remember, for prom, you know,
being as young as seventeen eighteen and loving this dress
that I really wanted to quote unquote fit into and
spending so much time and energy just to quote unquote
fit into it. And at the end of the day,
I didn't end up wearing that dress because it wasn't
(02:56):
comfortable and I wanted to be comfortable. But obviously, you know,
me who's unfazed today is very different than most people
who are affected by celebrities, whether it's Kim or anybody else.
So I'm curious for you, Amy, how did how did
that comment land with you as somebody who's going through
recovery and you know, just making her way out on
the other end, and also in the media has to
(03:19):
fit into dresses, hit the red carpet and all that
that you have a lot of pressure for. Well, when
all of this went down, I literally was filming a movie,
which sounds weird to say because I'm not an actress,
but I was part of a Christmas movie that's coming
out this holiday season where I'm playing myself because I
am co host of a radio show for I Heart Radio,
the Bobby Bones Show, and there's a musical artist in
(03:41):
the movie, so it made sense like to have a
partnership with I Heart. So it's the only reason why
I'm in it. But I feel as though, like Amy
two years ago, if I had heard that, I would
have been like, oh, yes, it would have validated what
I would have been doing to get ready for this movie,
because I would have starved myself no matter what I
would have restricted. I us is a better way to
(04:01):
say it, and then coming off the movie, I would
have definitely binged. And what I can say about this
week is similar to you Lisa two years into recovery,
because Lisa taught me how to fork the noise, and
that is what that was to me. This week, I
was like, oh, this is just noise and it's not
even affecting me. But similar to you, Lisa, I wasn't
always that person. So I am sensitive to the fact
(04:22):
that somebody else heard that and it validated what they
were doing. Sometimes all anybody's looking for is some form
of affirmation that what they're doing is okay. And so
I know that there's a lot of men and women
that obviously heard what Kim Kardashian said, and it was
almost their permission slip to keep doing what they're doing.
And for me, I just I just was super thankful
(04:45):
to be in a place. And I want me saying
this to be the story of hope, because I didn't
know I would ever be on the other side of things.
I felt like I was just this was my life.
I was doomed to this misery of this binge restrict cycle,
and I went it into the movie eating adequately. I
filmed through the movie eating adequately, and I came out
(05:06):
of the filming eating adequately. And so that is my
current state. Now. I don't have the platform that Kim
Gardashian has by any means, but I also know what
it's like to say irresponsible comments because I used to
say things like that, whether it was on the Bobby
Bones Show or my four Things podcast before I got
(05:28):
into recovery myself, and I learned things from people like Lisa,
and I really gained the knowledge and the wisdom to
know the triggering things to say, the harmful behaviors I
was doing that I thought were innocent, because quite honestly,
most of society says, you know X y Z is okay.
So that's why I think it's cool too that a
lot of celebrities that also have big, big voices are
(05:49):
speaking up against what Kim said and they're saying that
so that way, hopefully some people that heard it as
permission will be like, wait, who whoa, whoa, what's this
person saying and they can listen to both sides and
then ultimately it's up to you. You have to make
the decision for your body. But my hope is that
we can all get past having to starve or fast
(06:11):
or juice in order to fit and address There's two
parts of this that obviously need to be tackled. Number
one is Kim has a cult like following. I'm not
part of it, and I don't really understand that when
it comes to any sort of celebrity, But nonetheless, she
has a loyal, loyal fan base whose ages really span
probably into the thirteen, fourteen, fifteen year olds, And I
(06:32):
think it's really important that all the information that they absorb,
you know, gets flagged, because hearing somebody say that not
being twenty thirty or forty years old, but really being
in your teens almost makes it sound like it's a
normal thing to do. If there's this dress and you
want to fit into it, you can spend all of
your energy putting it forth into that. And I think
that that is why, ultimately I'm glad that people have
(06:54):
gotten loud on social media and are calling her out
and showing her that does have responsibility. For me, it
sounded like this is so out of control. Are we
living in nineteen eighties, the snack well world? Like Kim
Kardashian knows better, That's the thing. And I sat with
it today. I was talking to one of my girlfriends
and she was kind of like, I just want Kim
(07:16):
Kardashian to get a little bit of a sting from this,
Like I want her to feel the cruelty that she's
putting out into the world. And I thought about it
for a second and I realized something that has really
softened both my feelings around the whole thing and also
my feelings for Kim, which is, I mean, when you
looked at Kim, like, would you have known that she
lost X amount of weight? No, I didn't really think
(07:37):
about it. She always looks, you know, perfectly tailored in
whatever she's wearing. Right, So my feeling is the reason
she said that, because we all know that Kim likes
to be in the limelight for an extended period of time,
would be that she wasn't getting the validation maybe that
she wanted for the behaviors that she did. So maybe
nobody was saying, Kim, you know you look so skinny
(07:57):
in that dress. Obviously the dress was about Maryland Monroe, right,
but she brought it back to herself by talking about
what she had to do. So in that way, I
felt like Kim is, of course suffering to like all
of us listening to this podcast either are suffering right
now or have in the past, and so much of
her life is about her body, right, and here we
are again talking about it more and more that I'm
(08:20):
almost like, where's the line where we stop feeding into it?
Because we're continuing it by giving it all that energy.
Does that make any sense? No, You're right, like I
haven't given it any energy on my personal Instagram, and
you and I this is where we're unpacking it. And
I think the reason why we wanted to discuss it
was for me was to again share that I've been there,
(08:43):
I've said damaging things and I didn't realize it that's
where I don't know fully, I think I know what
you're saying. Where Kim knows she has a platform and
she knows what she's saying, but I don't think she.
When you're living in it, and that's just kind of
how you live your life and restricting as part of it,
and restricting people around you are all restricting, you don't
realize the ripple effect that it has on someone that
(09:04):
literally might be starving themselves and then giving that validation
like to me, I wasn't. I wasn't woken up to it.
I remember listeners sending me emails about a cleanse I
was talking about one time that I was doing for
five days or something crazy. Oh, I and I also
do this other thing where I didn't eat food for
four days. It was nothing, I mean nothing, water and
(09:27):
something else. I don't know it was. I thought I
was doing it for my health, but anyhow, I was
proud of it and talking about it nonchalantly without taking
into consideration what I was spreading. And I didn't have
the wisdom though nobody had told me. And so I
remember getting an email from a listener that's saying telling
me they could no longer listen to my podcast because
I triggered them, and I remember getting defensive and thinking,
(09:50):
but no, this is healthy, and I'm just trying to
share information with you, and this is what I'm doing
for my body. Doesn't mean you have to do it.
And now if I were to get that email to day,
I'm just in such a better place that I would
reply back and thank them for calling me out. And
(10:10):
I think you bring up a good point about the
media celebrity industry, which you are a part of, Like
there's kind of like a step back at evolution. There
where a lot of the online world and people who
are immersed in day to day are a little bit
more woke, if you will, to diet culture to the
toxicity of those statements that you know when I watch
reality TV show, which is not often, but don't get
(10:31):
me wrong, I really do love like selling sunsets. I'm
reminded about how far the world needs to come, but
also like the celebrity space when we are fitting into
dresses all the time and there's all the spotlight. But
I do think a good way of how that changes
is by how much us the public chooses to consume
(10:52):
and interact with that content. If we stop buying into
all these headlines about somebody's body, the media won't report
it anymore because as we're not eating it up right.
So I think where obviously Kim has a tremendous amount
of responsibility here too, I hope that we all also
have some responsibility as to what we give our energy
(11:13):
to and what we continue on a more like global
macro level to feed into. And the reason I also
wanted to bring it up here on this specific podcast
is because of a really great article that I want
to share on the show notes that was written by
Ruthie Friedlander. She's an ex editor at l but she
came back to write this article called we Shouldn't Glorify
(11:35):
Kim Kardashian's met Gala crash Diet. Ruthie Friedlander also has
an organization called The Chain because she's in the fashion industry,
and obviously the fashion industry also is very susceptible and
kind of breeds eating disorder behavior, and having had one herself,
she kind of spoke about what Kim saying this did
to her eating disorder brain, and I just wanted to
(11:57):
read this for all of you who might feel really
seen by it. Listen. I love the Kardashians. I find
them as a family unit, funny and interesting. I also
love a theme party, and I've always appreciated the met
Gala attendees who really go for it. Give some examples
of people that have done it in the past. I
pause for a moment. Was this incredible performance art? Was
Kardashian showing dedication by supposedly losing weight to fit into
(12:19):
a dress and therefore into a character. Was this the
ultimate costume party commitment? And in turn, as I plan
for my friends theme party in l A at the
end of the month, can I also do something drastic
to be more quote unquote committed. I know what you're thinking.
That's a big stretch. But let me tell you how
eating disorder brains work. Eating disorder brains love to be tested.
Most people with eating disorders are competitive, high achieving individuals.
(12:41):
They're typically the kid in class that does the extra
credit assignment every single time. And she gives other examples
about all the different ways that she's been competitive, and
she brings up the fact that Kim Kardashian saying that
very quickly challenged her own brain to say, oh, can
I do that too? To fit into address. That's a
theme party to show dedication, and that's the slippery slope
(13:04):
for eating disordered brains. Disordered eating brains is we very
easily rationalized dangerous behavior because it feels like it brings
us back to that safe place where we used to
quote unquote thrive. I want to link this article below
because I think it's a really well written one on
triggering one and has a lot of valuable information, the
most important one being that there's absolutely nothing normal, healthy,
(13:27):
or cool about losing weight to fit into address. And
those are Ruthie's words. Well, and I think too. We're
talking celebrities here, but even let's just like size it
down and put you in your own family group, your
own friend group. Like what sometimes are some things you
just kind of said flippantly without really thinking them through
(13:48):
that then have an effect on a friend, a daughter,
a son, a spouse or whatever. Like this is just
something to also allow us to all think of what's
coming out of our mouths in our little world, because
nobody is I mean, Kim Kardashian is one of the
most famous people in the world. So as we're talking
about this, you're like, Okay, well, what blah blah blah.
(14:09):
That's it's not really relatable. She shouldn't have said it.
But it's a challenge too, for how are we how
are we speaking to ourselves? And then how are we
speaking around others too? And how are we affected by
the way others speak around us that are in our
close proximity and what does that affect on our own brains? Yeah,
and that makes me want to ask you, Lisa, just
as the founder of the noise and the tools that
(14:31):
I learned from you, because I'm able to shut that
stuff out now, but that wasn't always the case, and
that was a journey too. I learned step by step
and it took building those new neuropathways and just my
brain over and over and over again. So it doesn't
happen overnight. But let's say, you know, another article comes
out that's clickbait with this headline, or another celebrity or
(14:53):
someone has something in their friend circle or at home,
or something is said, what can we do to shut
it down? The most important thing when I comes to
noise is knowing that we can't get rid of it all.
We can't create this picture perfect world bubble that we
live in where we are all safe. What we need
to do is equip ourselves with tools to identify the noise.
So moments when you were bleeding out more energy than
(15:14):
you were putting back into yourself, or you notice yourself
really changing your behaviors that no longer fit in with
who you're trying to become. So I urge all of
you to know that we can't live in a perfect world.
Celebrities are going to do things, parents, friends are going
to say things. But the more a tune we become
to noticing the noise, the better we become a pivoting
(15:36):
away and doing exactly what you said, Amy, which is
creating a new neural pathway, which is okay. I noticed
how that made me feel. I feel triggered. I'm thinking
about maybe changing my diet and doing something restrictive or
in line with disordered eating or disordered living, and instead
I'm going to do this right. And you do that
enough times. The first time, by the way, is the
hardest time. The second time, you're like patting yourself on
(15:58):
the back. The third time, fourth, fifth time, it almost
becomes effortless, and sometimes is effortless, like for me hearing
that comment about from Kim Kardashian like it was in
one ear out the other. This is so ridiculous. It
doesn't serve me. I'm not going to waste a second
on it is where I personally was with that, and
I know that that's not where everybody is, obviously, but
(16:20):
I do believe that everybody can get there. That makes
me think of the Chinese proverb, which is the best
time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The
second best time is now, and you know, and Lisa said,
you know, the first time you you do this, that's
going to be the hardest time, and then it's going
to be easier. And for me, I spent many years
being like, oh I'll do it tomorrow. Oh start tomorrow.
Oh I'll start there tomorrow, because it was terrifying and
(16:42):
it was hard. But think of that Chinese proverb and
imagine yourself like having just the best time to start
is now. Yeah, it would have been great to do
it yesterday, ten years ago, twenty years goes okay, but
you didn't do it now, and then ten years from
now you're gonna be like, wow, I did it. So
I mean that's where you focus, is where your energy
is going to flow. So if you notice yourself giving
(17:04):
more energy to the headlines or reading certain things, we're
thinking about certain things, that's where your energy is going
to go. So we play a pivotal role in shifting away.
And you know when you were talking a second ago, Lisa,
you talked about pivoting, and you know, I physically when
you said it, pictured myself just turning away and that
(17:26):
that's kind of what you have to do when you
hear the noise. You just have to pivot and keep
pivoting and practice and doing it over and over. And
speaking of pivoting, I'm going to pivot this conversation to
talk about Lisa and where she is in her life
and you know that evolving we were talking about and
(17:46):
some changes that are going to be taking place. So Lisa,
I'm gonna handle the mic to you, and I want
you to share with people what's going on in your life.
Amazing use of pivot. Pivot. I had to just use
that opportunity shout out front. On a more bitter sweet note,
Amy and I have co hosted Outweigh together for the
past two years. I remember the first call that Amy
(18:07):
and I had when we came up with the idea
about how to serve a community in need. And it
has been such an honor to serve this community every
Saturday for the past year and a half and a
little bit before that when out Way lived on four
Things podcast. But my life has gotten a little bit
more complicated since having a baby, and I have decided
(18:30):
to take a step down from co hosting with Amy
so that this platform can grow and be the best
that it can be, Because, just to be honest with
you all, having a baby has definitely caused me to
struggle to manage my time appropriately and I truly want
(18:50):
to only do things that I can give my all too.
And I think Amy knows, you know, for a while
I've been I'm so passionate about this community, about all
of you, about the work that we do, that it
has been a really hard decision to make. But I
ultimately know that it's going to be best for all
of you for me to take a step back for
(19:12):
the foreseeable future and let Amy really lead you all
every Saturday from here on out. Well, and this podcast
would have never happened, or even that the four part
series where just that's all. It was going to be
a four part series on four things. I remember calling Lisa.
I was my my dad was in the hospital. I
think it was like winter, like before Christmas, two thousand nineteen,
(19:34):
and I'm like, I have an idea and it never
would have come to fruition or happened without Lisa. So she's,
you know, just a crucial, crucial piece to the Outweigh puzzle.
And I was so honored that she joined me on
this journey and I'm so thankful that she was able
to come to me and you know, share with me
what was on her heart and mind and her you know,
(19:54):
where where she was headed. And I want to see
my friends flourish. And I know a minute ago, Lisa,
you said this is going to be the best decision
for our listeners, or the best you know, you wanted
it to be the best thing for them. But I'm
looking at you saying that, and I know that you're
so thoughtful and thinking of them, but I know it's
the best decision for you. And I'm excited to see
you thrive in things you're passionate about. I know you're
(20:17):
still passionate about Outweigh, of course you always will be.
But you have the truthiest life where you want to
give your all. You have your Fork, the Noise community,
you have your husband, Evan, you have your daughter, like
you have all these things, your family, You're very you.
I I just respect you immensely and I'm excited to
(20:39):
see where Outweigh goes. You'll still come on as a
guest from time to time, and we're gonna have other
experts on because I do not put myself into that
category at all whatsoever. I'm just someone that has lived
through it, lived through and eating disorder disordered behaviors, and
am now in recovery. So I definitely want to keep
Outweigh going as that weekly piece of encourage meant for people.
(21:01):
But again, Lisa, it would have never happened without you.
I have loved being part of this and I just
want to let all of our listeners know that I'm
not abandoning you and I'm still here for you. My email,
my social media platforms will continue to be places to
feel supported and heard and learn. However, I am being
called a little bit to talk about food nutrition bodies
(21:24):
in a slightly different way and in full transparency. I
actually don't know exactly what that's going to look like,
but I know that I need a little bit of
time and space in order to get the clarity to
figure it out so that I can serve from my
truest place of right now. So I'm still going to
be in this space. I am definitely still mission oriented
into teaching others how to fork the noise, how to
(21:47):
live from within their bodies, but I need a little
time now to kind of reconfigure how to best do
that day in a day out. So Lisa's instagram, her
personal one is at Lisa hame H a y I am,
but then her podcast, The Truthist Life also has an
Instagram which the handle is just that the Truthist Life.
And you recently posted a quote from yourself that said,
(22:11):
we can be successful in so many different ways, but
if we're not aligned with what feels good, how successful
are we really? And I know that you know Outweigh
feels good and it's an amazing thing you're putting out
in the world, but it no longer was serving you
where you are right now as a co host. And
so again I I told you, We've had multiple calls
(22:31):
about this, and every single call, I like, Lisa, I
just want to come alongside and help you be the
best version of you that you need to be right now.
And if you call me in here and you're like,
what up, I want to come back and be like hello,
welcome ours. If you tell me, hey, I can't ever
be a guest co host again, too much going on,
I'm like, that's okay, Like I just want to see
you shine, and I know that's exactly what you're gonna do.
(22:54):
And I'm just so thankful for you on so many levels.
I've said it a million times, but Lisa was a
huge to my recovery puzzle. And yeah, it's it's bitter
sweet for sure. Like we had to you know, sign
some contracts stuff the other day and it was just like, oh, shoot,
this is real. But I even think of the different
emails and listeners that we've met, you know, in the
(23:15):
d M s or out and about in public or
notes people have shared with how Outweigh has impacted them,
and I'm like, Lisa, that's cool. We were a part
of that, and that's special. It's amazing. And like I said,
this has been the hardest decision to make because I
kid you, not the people that found me through either
you Amy or through this podcast our family to me.
(23:36):
You are the kindest, best people in the entire world,
and I hope that I can continue to be part
of your world even as I take a step back.
In taking a step back here, I just wanted to
leave off with some valuable quick tips or reminders that
you possibly may need as summer season picks up, life
picks up, and just some reminders that we kind of
(23:57):
just need to hear, so I'm just going to list
them off really quick. Number one is, spend more time
focusing on yourself than you do on other people. Kind
of similar to that Kim Kardashian conversation. Where you focus
is where your energy is going to flow, and you
are in control of your energy every step of the way.
Number two, notice when you're justifying eating disorder behavior or
thoughts and call yourself out. Nobody is going to keep
(24:20):
you accountable if you're not going to keep yourself accountable.
Number three, find a safe buddy or person who doesn't
have food related issues in the past to confide in
and kind of speak out loud these disordered thoughts as
you have them. Number four, know that you are allowed
to enjoy food. If something tastes good doesn't mean that
(24:41):
it's bad. For you doesn't mean that it's going to
change your body. We don't need to associate those two
things forever. Food can and should be enjoyable. Number five.
Your body doesn't have a clock. Please remember this one
when you're hungry at ten am, six am, one pm,
whatever time you've decided, is not the time that your
body should be hungry. Number six, negative or negative framed
(25:06):
thoughts are always going to come up. Right. We might
say things about our body, or they might be in passing.
I want to offer you the wisdom to not attach
to them or think of them even as a setback.
These things are going to happen, and instead we can
use them as an opportunity to approach them differently. So
continue the conversation with yourself when you notice yourself saying
something about your body, or um when you notice fears
(25:28):
coming up. Number seven, Imagine how powerful or successful you
could be if you gave all that energy that you
give to food in your body to something else. So
think about something else that you want in your life,
giving all those countless hours that you've given away towards
that thing that you want. Imagine where you could be today,
because you could be there tomorrow I'll just tack on
(25:50):
like a couple of things before we wrap. And you know,
we started off talking about the Kim Kardashian thing and
her making herself smaller for for this event, and that's
just how I bent so much of my time, like
making myself small. And it's not just my body, but
my everything, my being, my soul, my spirit, my brain,
(26:10):
because it was just all consumed. And you know, there's
just so much life to be lived, so just remember
that and then I feel like, you know, just to
recap a few takeaways from today is you know, fork
the noise. Fork the noise of whatever you're hearing, whether
it's a celebrity headline or it's something in your friend
circle or in your own home. You just have to
(26:33):
start today stick a fork in it no more. And
then also find your people that are going to help
you know, validate you and what you want to do
with your life and who you are and who's supportive.
And I know sometimes it's hard to make really tough
decisions that change for yourself. But maybe you have partnerships
(26:53):
or things going on with other people. But if you
have decided that this is what's best for you, then
come up with the thoughtful plan to deliver it and
know that everything will work out and it will be okay.
But you've got to do what ultimately is best for you,
not for anybody else. And so I'm thankful that Lisa
is able to come on Outweigh and share her experience
(27:14):
with where she's moving forward in her life right now.
And I can't wait to keep following along as a friend,
but also you know, as a as a business supporter
and just with the truth fious life and and everything
that you put out there. And I look forward to
my my Sunday newsletter from Lisa lately every week. Thank
you so much, and thank you so much to every
(27:36):
single listener who has been part of this. Thank you
for allowing us to be little voices in your ear
during your hard times. It's been such an honor. And
this will not be the last that you hear from me.
And I'm so excited to hear the places that Amy's
going to take out Weigh and all of you. Hey, Okay,
all right, love you Lisa, Love you well. Okay. By
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Host
Amy Brown
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