November 7, 2024 • 50 mins
Amy has a challenge for you! If you haven’t taken a little time to sit down and create some core principles for yourself—or for your family—this is your sign to start now. In this episode, Amy and her dear friend, Chase Locke, each share four guiding principles they’re working to live by for a more meaningful, fulfilling life. So whether you’re just starting to think about what really matters or revisiting your list to tweak things, this chat is here to help you along the way. Having core principles to live by can totally change your life and make a big impact on the people around you—especially your kids!
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Chase Locke // @ChaseLocke_
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cats up Little Food for Yourself Life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey,
it's pretty beautiful. Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That for a little more exciting, said he.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking it with four.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday. Four Things Amy here, and
I got Chase Locke joining me. Some of you, if
you've listened to the podcast, you definitely know who Chase is.
If you're new here, you might be like, what's up
with this Chase guy? But we met over a decade
ago working on a really cool project for Haiti, and
Chase and I were just fast friends, and when I
(00:53):
first started the podcast, he would come on and help
with listener emails before Therapy Cat joined me as my
co so that was always a lot of fun. But
Chase is a dear friend, and I was talking to
him the other night because I was invited to this
life group when the conversation that was going to be
happening a life group was around living a purposeful life
(01:14):
and what core principles do you want to live by
or instill into your children and Youah, Chase and I
were just on the phone and I was like, Oh,
this could be an interesting podcast. We should sit down
and record it because I can think of four core
principles and you could share four and then hopefully it
would just encourage and challenge anybody else listening to think
(01:37):
of one or even twenty. There's way more than Chase
and I will share here, but we're going to go
over once we came up with, and I'm curious to
see what y'all come up with when you think about it,
And maybe you already have them, but you could write
them down and look at them and have your kids
go over them. And then you know something that came
up with the Life group Chase.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Chase, say Hi, Hi, Hey, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And tell every buddy where you are coming to us from.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I am currently sitting in my office in Rogers, Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Chase is CEO of one Country, And it's kind of
funny that you're a CEO.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Let's be honest, that's honestly, it's really funny.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Sometimes I'm still like, God, you're in charge of so
much it's weird. So we were on the phone before
I went to the Life group, and when I was
there when it came up, someone at the table said,
you know what would be interesting is if we asked
our kids what they think our core values and principles
are as a family because as parents, you can think
(02:34):
that you're leading in a way of like, yes, this
is what our family is going to stand for, and
your kids might be like, what what are you talking about?
I really feel like it's this, this and this, and
then that'll give you good insight. Which I have kids
to ask Chase doesn't have them yet. Yep, he is
single and available in case anybody listening, which most of
(02:56):
the time I do get messages about you, either thinking
that a were or be asking if you are single.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yep, no, we're not dating. B I am single. So
hit up the DMS.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Oh okay, we'll give them your Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
At Chase Lock underscore.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So was Chase Lock taken? Because why the underscore?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah? I took the underscore because I wanted to keep
my name and I didn't want to put like a
number or something weird in there, and so I just
dropped the underscore. Then I could, you know, have Chase Lock.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I really wanted Amy Brown, but that was taken, so
I went with Radio Amy.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You are Radio Amy. I mean, come on, like that
makes a lot of sense to me. It does. It
is your close friend.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So let's just dive into living a meaningful and purposeful life.
Part of that for Chase and I right now is dating.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I wish we just had our conversations recorded over the
last year, because I think we've had a lot of meaningful,
in entertaining conversations, Like even what brought up this whole
idea of like we're getting ready talk about our principles,
but like, as we both have been in different dating
circumstances and situations, I think we both are learning a
(04:08):
lot about ourselves and one another. And the last couple
of times I've gotten off the phone with you, I'm like,
that was a really good conversation for me personally, but
I also think for you, I think we're we're good
for reflecting all these things together.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, Like I called Chase and I'm like, let's get
deep here for a second. And he's like, what, Mike,
do you think you could ever date a widower?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
And I had to stop and think about it, to
which I said, yes, I can't remember your answer. What
was your answer to that?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Initially no, but now it's yes, But now it's yes.
It's something that I have had to consider, and I
think for months it was like a no. Someone in
that position, they certainly deserve to find love again. It's
just if there's children also involved a lot of responsibility.
(05:02):
So it's just something to think about.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So what you're saying is your stance has definitely changed.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yes, well, yeah, we have had a lot of interesting conversations.
But when you think about how you want to show
up and who you want to show up as, and
like how I want to be as a partner, as
a wife, as a mother, it's like, sometimes there can
be some fear there, and I don't want to live scared.
I want to do things scared, I guess, but I
(05:29):
don't want to not pursue something because of a fear
that I may fail at it, or I'm not good
enough for that type of role, or that might need
extra care, or that seems like too much or overwhelming,
And that can be in anything. Right now, we're just
using this as an example, but it really will help
you assess how you want to show up in this
world and some of your core principles that you want
(05:52):
to live by. And I guess in the same vein
as that this isn't one of my core principles that
I had written down, but it would be like let
go and let God. Oh for sure, like I don't
want to get in the way, and I can be
an overthinker and I can go ahead and think I
have a solution without even really giving it anything a try.
(06:13):
And so I think let go and let God can
mean a lot of things that you can still be
intentional and prayerful and have free will and do all
those things, but you just sort of have to surrender
any preconceived notions because if we look at what you
might miss out on on life if you like take
one scenario and you just shut it down right away
without even knowing.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Let go and like God is like just the daily
reminder from me. I mean, I think it could be
like a core principle, but just for me is like
I'm like you, there's a lot of things that maybe
I overthink, I try to decide upon upfront without just
letting God lead the way and see how it plays out.
But it's definitely a good reminder for all of us.
(06:54):
Those four words let go and.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Let God, Okay, so chase before we each share are
for core principles that we've come up with for ourselves.
I think when it comes to living a meaningful and
purposeful life. You have to do a lot of reflection,
and so I have some quotes that I'm going to
share that can help us reflect, and hopefully these will
be helpful to you who you're listening right now, maybe
(07:16):
if you sit down and try to journal later to
come up with your core principles. But when life throws
curve balls, you have a choice. You have a decision
on how you respond. And one of my core values
balls right in line with that. So these quotes sort
of are in that vein. But it's like that saying,
you know, Chase, it's twenty percent the hand your dealt,
(07:39):
but then eighty percent of how you play the hand.
Like that, I think is a great quote, and that
could be small parts of your day where it's not
going your way, Like this morning, I spilt my coffee
in my console and that was annoying, but I handled
it well. I had a sports brawl that I had
on my floor from pilates, and I got it and
(08:01):
I stuck it in my cup holder and I soaked
up all the coffee and I was like, well, uh, sure,
I'm glad I left that spirst run here because then
it soaked it right up. And I handled it. I
didn't let it razzle me, which I do think there
are days that that would have just sent me over
and then it would have been this domino factor and like, uh,
I spilled my coffee and the next thing, you know,
I'd spill something else or trip while I'm walking up
(08:21):
the stairs at work, like and it would just piggyback.
But I took a deep breath, grabbed the sports brawl,
stuck it in the cup holder, soaked up the coffee,
and I was like, it's going to be a good day,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You good attitude right like right now. I mean we're definitely,
you know, dealing at times with challenges with our business
and obviously we all in our personal lives. But I
was just praying this morning that I would be thankful
to the Lord in times of adversity and that I
would react to that adversity into those challenges in a
(08:57):
more productive way because it's an adversity that I grow.
And so I just think that's a really a good reminder,
like it's in those stuff times and how we react
and handle those that we grow and become stronger and better.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, And obviously that was a really teeny tiny example,
but the tiny little things that happened to you throughout
the day. That's like exercising that muscle so that when
the big, dramatic, oh things that really cause stress come along,
you're more equipped to deal with it accordingly and react
(09:31):
in a way that is going to serve you and
those around you better. So another quote is your circumstances
don't define you, your choices do. Success is less about
what you have and more about what you do with
what you have. There's also this one, it's not what
happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
All those are a similar sentiment, so you get the point.
(09:54):
But I think that this is just good stuff to
keep in your back pocket when you're reflecting on how
you want to show up in this world.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah. What I love about all those quotes is I
think it kind of lends itself to the idea of
like your attitude and how you approach life every day.
And I think as we're talking about principles, a lot
of those principles contribute again to our attitude, whether it's
your circumstances, whether it's the cards you're dealt all those things.
I know there's days that I have to do like
(10:22):
an internal attitude check where I have people like you
and close friends and help me check it.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It reminds me I'm my youth pastor back in the day.
Well he was our youth pastor and then he became
our pastor. But when he was leading youth group, he
would tell us all attitude check and we would yell
praise the Lord, and then he would say attitude check,
and then the second time he said it would have
to say kick the devil in the head. AO. So
(10:51):
my first one, we'll go back and forth, like I'll
share one, you can share one, and then we'll get
to the four. But my first one is in alignment
with some of the quotes, and its hope and growth
through challenges, and it's inspired by my mom's journey and
her quiet yet powerful example of facing challenges with hope
(11:12):
and courage and joy. If you're new here, my mom
had cancer and it was about a two year journey.
I don't really like to say battle, although that's what
it felt like. We were at war with the cancer,
but it just sounds so negative, which cancer is negative.
But there's so many beautiful things that also came from it,
(11:33):
as well, and my mom would agree with that, but
she just handled it with yeah, such grace, and she
had hope and courage and joy. And I know that
there was a choice for all of us. There's a
choice for her and a choice for me and my
sister that we could either let it embitter us or
let it embedter us. And my sister did a whole
(11:53):
blog on that once, and we obviously had to grieve,
and I still grieve to this day, Like I missed
my mom this morning and had tears because I want
to talk to her about things and she's not here.
So yes, that relationship has been lost. I still talk
to her in other ways, like I still when I'm
(12:16):
praying and about things, and I look up at the
sky when I'm on one of my walking meditations and
I talk to my mom and I talk to God,
and she's not physically here, but I have her. So
there is a grieving process that has happened and continues
to happen. But I still search for the gain. So
even in whatever has been lost or whatever has been broken,
(12:39):
I search for the gain, trusting that with every hardship,
God is refining me, God is strengthening me, and that
is my core principle is hope and growth through challenges.
It's almost like, in a really weird way, like I
welcome the challenges at times because I've faced adversity. We
(13:01):
all have, but because I have been open to seeing
what can come from it, then it's not as scary
as I think it once was. And that she was
diagnosed with cancer what in twenty twelve, passed away in
twenty fourteen, and honestly that was probably my first real
other than my dad leaving when I was a child
(13:21):
or that was like a whole thing. But like this
is like you're an adult and this is a real
life situation. Your mom has cancer. Like I remember, this
is the hardest thing I'd ever dealt with. And since then,
in the last decade, since Chase has known me, well,
my mom getting cancer was just the warm up, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I do want to point out, like going back, you
just said like you almost welcome it, and you I
think we're trying to say, like you find some gratitude
in the adversity and what it does for you, And
I think that goes back to like just an encouragement
to me, but an encouragement to anyone else. Listening, like
really making sure that we reframe at times our challenges
(14:00):
to let it be something that fuels us and to
be something that's welcome that we know is going to
spur growth. It's like that whole attitude thing again, and
I think you've done that, You've navigated that beautifully the
last few years.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Well, my word of the moment right now for this
here is embitter and my second word is in better.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, those aren't words you use often. But with pain
comes a choice of are you going to let this
embitter you or embedter you? Like, if it embitters you,
then it is going to bring you down. If it's
embittering you, it is going to make you better.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I need to work on that because I can get like,
I'm kind of the guy that like sometimes if you
hit me right, I hold a grudge and that's not
healthy for me or them or anyone else. But now
I'm going to think about does this embitter me because
or it might be better you. Yeah, we're going to
aim for em bettering.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yes, we want to be embedtered, not embittered?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Am I enunciating correctly? Before we got onto report and
he said, make sure you a nunciate Chase, I'm like,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Mom, Okay, what is your first core principle?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I think my first one is And this is going
to sound like I hope it doesn't come across like
I'm trying to be humble but making sure that I
live a life and service to others. And I think
that's certainly a core belief in my faith as a Christian,
is that it's not about me. But I just noticed
that whenever I'm feeling most unhealthy, this is kind of
(15:42):
being selfish, but like there's too much that's about me,
too much. I'm worrying about myself. There's too much attention
on just things that are centered around me. And I
am happiest and I feel healthiest, and I feel like
I am serving God's purpose for me my life when
I am every day finding a way to serve someone else,
(16:04):
big or small, like that could be in the simplest ways,
whether it's serving someone on our team in like a
random act of encouragement or kindness, or whether it's something bigger.
I mean, I think not to celebrate ten years or
however long we've been friends, but we were just saying
it's been over a decade I think where I've always
appreciated you is, you know, the foundation of our relationship
(16:26):
was on service and wanting to come together and do
something for others. And I think that's what we're all
called to do, you know. I think we kind of
not to sound critical of all the tools and resources
that are out there, but there's a lot of like
self care, take care of yourself first, which I believe
there's a lot of validity and value in that, and
(16:46):
you can't pour into someone else if you've got an
empty cup. But I do believe that we're meant to
focus on others, and we're meant to focus on God's
will for our life. And that's kind of how I
start my is thinking how can I be a service
of someone other than myself.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think that times where I've been on calls with
you and you've sounded just not your best are times
when you know that you haven't been prioritizing service or others,
and you eventually get there you're like, I don't know,
just something's just off, And then we'll talk for a
little bit and you're like, yeah, it's just I've got
(17:26):
to figure out a way. Like right now, I'm just
so focused on this, this and this, and I don't
have time, and it's just all about me and work
and this and that and strategy and what's next, what's next,
And you eventually have the awareness like, oh, I need
to slow down and do something outside of this bubble
that I'm in right now. And I do think, yes,
(17:49):
there's absolutely something to putting your oxygen mask on first
before you take care of others. We do need to
do that. But I like that you brought that up,
because when you take time to be of service to others,
that could be your oxygen mask. That could fill up
your tank a little bit. And you may not think
(18:11):
that because it doesn't have anything to do with you.
It has to do with others.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah. No, And I'm so grateful, like you have been
a constant obviously in my life for many years. But
I think again, over this past year, I've realized, you know,
we've been building a business the last few years and
I've never done that before. And we've had some some
things go really right, which has been a blessing, But
(18:35):
in that it's kind of like you feel like you're
just trying to keep pushing things up the hill. And
I think my priorities at times have not been always
in the right spot, but it is every conversation I've
had with you, there's always something that goes back to like, Man,
I mean, I even started the group chat with you
and Walker because every time I'm around Walker, Walker Hayes
(18:56):
like his spirit for just loving on other people. It
is so genuine, sincere. You're like, hey, Walker, can we
do this for someone? And He's like, yep, I'll be there,
like I'm in and it just feeds my soul in
such a way, especially when you get to do it
alongside people you love, and then even more so bringing
(19:17):
strangers into the fold and you know, serving together. It's
just yeah, selfishly, it's amazing and so I try to
do a little bit more of it every day.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So fun fact, if you are new to the podcast,
Walker Hayes is the singer of the theme song here,
and we are cooking up something different for the podcast
that is in the works and I'm even smiling as
I say it, and I wish I could say more
at the moment, but well, first of all, you and
I need to revisit that text thread with Walker because
(19:46):
we've got to figure out what we're doing but also
I need Walker to put together a new little song.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
We'll just send him a link to this episode and
he can kind of get the subliminal hint hint that
he needs to get to work on that. Well.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Last time he came on the podcast as a guest,
he did say like it's time for a refresher, But
this is like an absolute we need a refresher situation,
all right. So the second core value that is important
to me and my family and my kids is open
and honest communication. And something I've really been working on
the last few years is that saying clear is kind
(20:23):
and unclear is unkind. And I am not an expert
at this particular thing. It takes a lot of work
for me because I'd rather him in haw around something
or avoid it. But that's the problem that leads to
more issues. I still have stuff that's sort of dangling
that I know I need to handle, and I know
(20:46):
I would feel just almost like an exhale if I
handled it, and that would be the kind thing to do.
But you know, I feel like I get a little
frozen at times. So if you can relate out there,
just anything that I'm saying, like, you're not alone but
I'm going to challenge you, and I'm going to challenge me.
We need to just do it. Should it be in
(21:07):
the next forty eight hours, whatever it is that's hanging,
just do it. This is for me too, But my
dad's tendency. I know, my first saying that I shared
was sort of based on my mom, and I love
my dad. My dad had a lot of really amazing qualities,
but his tendency was to brush a lot of issues
and things under the rug. And I have to work
(21:28):
hard as an adult to prioritize open communication in my family.
And I want my kids to know that there's permission
to speak honestly and to speak vulnerably paired with we
listen without judgment, because then that creates a safe space
(21:48):
for the open and honest communication. And I have to
remind myself of this quote a lot, like say what
you mean, mean what you say, and never be mean
when you say.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's good for me right now too.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
There's a verse that goes along with that too, which
I think it's in Colossians. I can't remember the exact numbers,
but it's about your speech being gracious and seasoned with salt.
And I want to speak in that way, and I
want it to mean something. I don't just want to
(22:25):
say something to say something. On Tuesday's episode, I talked
about saying yes and really meaning it, like your yeses
should mean yes and your no should mean no, and
even if you're not a people pleaser, like some people
are people pleasers and that's a whole other thing, and
that there's a lot of reasons why they're doing it.
But sometimes non people pleasers even say yes to things
(22:45):
that they don't want to do. And why do we
do that? Like why can't just know be the complete sentence,
or why when we say no, do we feel like
we have to give four paragraphs explaining why we can't
do it. If it's not thing we can do, we
should feel the freedom in a very kind and gracious
way to say that we're not going to do X,
(23:06):
y Z. And then I feel like our words mean
more when we're just clear, and I want to be
clear and I want to be kind, and gosh, I
just can think of so many examples in my head
right now where I've been unclear and unkind thinking that's
the easier route by just like ignoring it or himming
and hawing my way around it, you know, totally.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
One thing that I wrote down the other morning when
I was reading some scripture into just reflecting, was like,
in a similar vein, like I want to make sure
that I'm speaking life into others, you know, whatever it
is in that honesty, like and however I deliver things,
I think you kind of said it, like not in
a mean way, but like, I want to make sure
that it's life giving. And I think what I mean
(23:49):
by that too, is encouraging, whether it's criticism, whether it's
feedback that helps me sometimes when I go into difficult
conversations being like, Okay, I'm going to say some tough
things because I need to be honest here, but I
want to make sure that it's like life giving, that
it's not taking away from someone.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, no, it's that's good. You know who's really good
at picking up on word salad EO therapy Cat. I
don't so much mind a lot of words, because I
know that I'm guilty of that. But there's been some situations,
like over the last year, where I've just shared stuff
with her to get her advice on something, and I'm like, well,
you know, here's what the email said, or here's the
voice text. Let me play it for you, and she'll
(24:27):
listen to it, and she'll look at me and she go, any,
that is word salid. I don't even know what was
just said. And I don't really pick up on that
right away because it's sort of how I speak. And
so that is something that has stood out to me
or that I've learned or that I've tried to practice
of like, Okay, when I'm communicating with someone or I'm
(24:48):
trying to share something, well on this podcast, I know
I can tend to ramble, but that's different, like this
is just a long form, like we're chit chatting, like
we should be able to talk. But I'm talking about
if you're having a conversation with someone or communication back
and forth on text or email and you've got to
say something direct and you end up, like, you know,
saying nothing and it's a four minute voice text and
(25:09):
there's like nothing. She calls it word salid, And so
I don't want to be word salid person, Like I
don't want someone to ever hear what I've shared with
them and be like, that's word salid.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think you guys should expand on that, because I
would welcome some additional resources from Kat on word salad.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
We need Cat to teach a class on like that.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh, I needed to shut up. Sometimes I've never heard
that term, but I'm I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, okay, So what's your second one, Chase?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
My second one is curiosity. I really love learning new things.
I love learning new things about things. I don't understand
new things about people. And I think I feel healthiest
and I feel sharpest when I'm making that a part
of my day to day practice, you know, trying to
(25:56):
learn something new every day and understanding that it's a
world that is drastically changing and evolving. And while I
have my values and my principles, I want to understand
the people and the things around me a little bit better.
And sometimes I go into curiosity on the most random things,
Like I mean, I'll get a book on like the
(26:18):
mechanics of windmills just because I want to learn how
windmills came about in the history and all that. But yeah,
random stuff.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Oh you should talk about that on your next first date. Windmills.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
That was fly? I felt that. No.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I think that's a good one, especially for kids, to
stay curious. A lot of younger. Younger kids are because
they have so many questions, and as we get older,
I think we ask less. So I have to practice
curiosity as well, which helps with connection to people. Obviously
it helps with learning about random things and whatnot, but
(26:54):
even just curiosity about people and wanting to know more
of their story and what they're about.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I always back on word salad. It's funny. When I
wrote down curiosity, I was looking in my journal and
I've written several times next to it that it's like
my listening principle or action, like in my curiosity. Let
that be a time when I listen to people more
and don't always try to like talk and ask questions
and like just let others be heard, because sometimes I
(27:23):
could be a talker.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Do you have ADHD? I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Unofficially when I was younger, was diagnosed, but it was
never revisited. But it's funny you say that because it
came up last week with my doctor, so I probably
probably do.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
That's something I have to work on because my brain
is having so many different thoughts and I'm really trying
to listen and pay attention to what someone is saying,
but then I also am thinking about the next thing
I'm going to say, and that's a very ADHD type behavior.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Why we conversate so well together maybe.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Or not so well or not. My third one is
a mantra that I actually stole from your favorite person
in the world, which would be Christie, which is your sister, Yeah,
Ding Ding Ding. Chase is obsessed with my sister, Christy
Doser and her husband beIN Doser. They have a company
(28:17):
called Root Design, and they have root in all of
their businesses, like they have a coffee shop called Root House,
and then they had a show an HGTV called Building
Roots and everything has root because the root is the
source from which things grow and so the root is
very important obviously. And one of their mantras is all
(28:39):
about building people up. And the exact mantra is, what
if it's less about what we build and more about
who we build up? And I've adopted that for myself
and for my family and want to instill that in
my kids because first of all, whatever's going on in life,
that's something that helps keep you grounded. And then a
priority tizes connection and also compassion, and I just I
(29:05):
love the mantra and it's so simple. What if it
is less about what we build and more about who
we build up.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yep, I'm sitting here. I'm showing Amy my root House
coffee cup. It's not the one, but there's one that
they sell that says root for each other. And I
love that because I think that definitely embodies how they
live their life and how they run their businesses.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And yeah, I was on a business call the other
day that was about some things that are going to
be changing a little bit, and you know, someone said, wait, well,
why would you want to handle it that way? Like
this is something that you've done and then now this
is just going to like swoop in And that doesn't
seem I don't remember the exact word. Let's just say
the word fair. And it never crossed my mind about
(29:51):
it being fair, and I'm glad it didn't. Like, I'm
so glad that that wasn't my first thought. My thought
was this is cool, and this is fun and this
is exciting, and this is an opportunity to lift someone
else up. Who cares if they've been here from the
beginning or not, Like I want to invite them in
on something and be a part of it and lift
(30:15):
them up. It will benefit them. But that's okay if
it's without saying exactly what it is, but if it's
less for me and maybe more for someone else, like
I'm okay with that because we're building something together and
it's not just about me.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
All right. My third one is leadership, and I have
this as a principle, Like I think sometimes people think
like certain people are leaders and others or not, But
I kind of live under the viewpoint that we all
are leaders in some way, and it's a responsibility, whether
you lead your family, whether you lead a team, whether
(31:03):
you you know, lead folks on other sorts of teams.
It's something that I think is a responsibility that I
don't want to take lightly and is something that kind
of drives a lot of my decision making throughout the day,
obviously leading our team here at the company. But you know,
how do I lead, well, how do I lead people
(31:24):
in a direction that is fruitful both for the objectives
that we have here at work, but also in a
way that's going to have them have more fulfilled personal lives.
And so I think I used to be under the
assumption that leadership was like when I was student body
president in high school or captain of whatever team. And
(31:45):
then it's like when I became a CEO or whatever.
But it's like, I realize there's an opportunity to lead
people every day.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Love Keith Flex is there?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I mean, sorry, were you not student body president?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Or actually I ran for treasure in the fourth grade
vote for Amy Moffett. You can't top it and I lost.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Oh my god, quick sidebar. What I think is like
the first time I felt like I was a leader.
This is going to sound so ridiculous, and I'm not
trying to be funny about it. I was in the
eighth grade when nine to eleven happened and we ended
up having assembly, and the counselor the principle was like,
we want the student body president to say something to
(32:28):
the school like they were talking about it, and I've
prepared that speech like I was the President of the
United States of America, like I thought I was addressing
the people we were under attack. But I just genuinely
remember how serious I took that, thinking I need to
encourage my classmates because everyone's so scared and sad. And
(32:50):
this was day after. It wasn't like day of, to
be clear, but I always think about that as like
the first time I felt this responsibility is a little
leader is the student body president and junior high to
lead everyone to a sense of unity and security.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I love that. I would love to read that speech.
Do you think you have it anywhere?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Actually, my mom has it. I know she has it,
So yeah, I do need to find that you are.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
A natural leader. I don't know that I put myself
in that leader category, but that's.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay, that's the whole point. I mean, I think how
I view it is like you have a platform, and
so in your own way, that's leadership, you know, and
how you lead people through that, whether it's by entertaining
and encouragement and obviously your mom to two incredible kiddos,
and that's leadership. And so I think it presents differently
for everyone.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
But I know, gosh, sometimes like I'm in my house
and I'm like, I am in charge here, Like I
am in charge of this house and these people and
these things, and I have certain responsibilities and then I
get a little freaked out. But then I'm like, oh, yeah,
but I'm totally capable, and I've done this for a
while now. I think getting divorced definitely sort of had
(34:05):
to like kick me in the pants to grow up
a little bit and really take on more of a
leadership role. But it's been very empowering. I do love
a good delegation, like I like to be told what
to do and then I will do it and I
will do a good job. But I also like creating
and coming up with stuff myself, I guess, but if
I had to choose, I would rather work alongside people
(34:28):
and then be delegated too. And some people are like,
no way, I have to be in charge, Like I
want to be the leader, and I just don't know
that that's my energy. And I still think it is
a little comical that I tried to run for treasurer
when I hate money like I like, I literally like
freak out. I mean, I've had a lot of growth
the last two years. Again, like being a single person
(34:50):
now that has to manage your own finances. But before that,
for seventeen years of marriage, I don't even know how
to log into my bank account because money gave me
such anxiety. And there I was running for treasure. Also,
did you know that I was diagnosed with discalcula Wait,
what is that? It's the form of dyslexia, Like I
have that too, but it's honest, it's on a spectrum.
(35:11):
Some people have it worse than others. But I do
have dyslexia and I have dysc calcula, which oftentimes go
hand in hand. But it's the numbers version of dyslexia.
So I think it is obvious why I did not
win treasure in the fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Well, you want in other ways, and we're all proud
of you for it.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Thanks. Okay, So were you on the fourth thing now?
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Mine is gratitude. That's just something that is huge in
our house. I practice it with my kids all the time.
We do it at the dinner table. It may look different.
It might be, you know, sort of like what we
do here at the podcast here four things you're thankful
for today, big or small, or it could be high low.
But in the high there's gratitude because something that you
(35:57):
use you're the exciting part of your day or the
best part of your day. And then even in the low,
it gives you an opportunity to see what went wrong
in the day. But then you can pivot it sort
of back to my first core principle, and then you
have an opportunity to either talk to your kids, or
your spouse, or your roommate or even yourself about Okay, well,
(36:17):
that seems like that was something tough today, But what's
the gain. Let's search for the gain in this. You know,
are we going to let that embitter us or embetter us?
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Hey, I wrote that down. You know what's funny is
I swear to like my number four is also gratitude.
And everyone kind of gives me a hard time because
I love the CC Wining song Goodness of God. And
I think, you know, Patrick, who's one of my business partners,
who you know, like he'll always reference after we come
(36:49):
out of a tough situation, like you have selective amnesia,
Like you look back on things and you're like you
act like everything was great. And I think for me,
it's always as I reflect and I'm trying to do
better of being like really grateful in the moment, but
like my whole life has just been like I have
just been truly in the goodness of God, and I
(37:11):
have been so loved even when things have been tough
or difficult, and every day I know that I just
feel incredibly grateful that I get to have the life
I live and get to have the people in my
life that I do, and it makes all the difference
when you really take time every day to reflect on that,
(37:34):
which obviously anyone that listens to this podcast has heard
you talk about for many years. And you were someone
that kind of forced me into the early habit of
writing down three or four things that I was grateful for,
and that became a habit that has become a core
principle in my life and I'm grateful for it.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Well, I'll link our four Things Gratitude journal in the
show notes, which would be easy way to find it,
but you can also just go to four things dot
com and one hundred percent of the proceeds go to
education in Haiti. And it is a way for you
to practice gratitude as an adult or maybe even as
a family. You can fill it out or it's great
for kids. There's quotes on each page. They're really encouraging.
(38:16):
There's stickers in the back for the days that maybe
you don't have words, and there's journaling prompts. Because for me,
before I started journaling, I was very intimidated by it
and wanted something that wasn't overwhelming and easy. So when
we were designing that, it was like, oh, let's just
keep it really simple and you can just write one word,
(38:40):
like if there's four things you're thinking before, you can
do one word, or you can just fill out the
whole page and just take pen to paper and just
start going and at least try to come up with
four things that you're thankful for. Or if that's overwhelming,
you can think of one and then fill out one
and then on day two fill out the second one
and you can just go through the pages differently, Like
you know, it's a laid back journal that could be
(39:00):
a good gift for yourself this holiday season or other
people in your life, and it's a win win type
of gift with the support that's going to Haiti. Again,
all proceeds go to that. So yeah, four Things Gratitude Journal.
I haven't mentioned that in a little bit, but again,
all link it into show notes. You can hit up
four things dot com and Chase we should just share.
I guess since we both pick gratitude, that's kind of cool.
(39:23):
We can do two plus two is four. I know
I have dyscalcula, but I do know that if I
do two things and you do two things, that would
be four things gratitude. You nailed it, and we'll go
sort of like we did with our principles. We can
just popcorn back and forth. You go, first, what's something
you're grateful for?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I will say, I mean first one. We're recording this
on election day in it really like is not lost
on me. I know sometimes people are like, I'm not
going to vote. My vote doesn't matter. But just what
our privilege it is, even when our country maybe isn't
always at its best, that we all drew the card
to be Americans, to have the ability to vote in
(40:02):
a democracy. And I'm sincerely grateful to live in America,
to be an American.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I too exercised my right to vote. I did early voting.
Did you do early voting or did you vote today?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I'm a day of guy. I know that's not the
most productive anymore, but yeah I did this morning.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, cool, I posted my picture this morning and then
I put up a question box and I'm like, so
who'd you guys vote for? But I was like, just kidding,
just getting voting as personal. You don't have to say
or you can say, and that's totally fine. But yeah,
it's just been so toxic and divisive and heavy, and
I really hope that we can turn a corner at
(40:40):
some point in maybe the next election, At some point
the next maybe not the next one, but the next one,
there can be some healings, some maybe some growth. Are
we gonna let this embitter us chase or are we
gonna let it in better us regardless of the outcome
my pastor keep up something that was so good and
(41:02):
minds me, I'm going to pull it up right now.
I had not thought of it. But Matt's smallbone is
his handle, and he put up like a really good
post that just more so takes the focus on anybody
that's running for president, anybody outside of you. It's more
looking inward and what's going on with you and your heart.
And then he went through like the fruit of the spirit.
(41:22):
He's like in the last year, where are you with love, joy, peace,
patient's kindest, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control? But I reposted
it in my stories and it's just really comforting to
read and then know, oh, yeah, there is this big
thing happening this week. But I also can just look
inward and focus on myself and how do I want
to show up regardless of the outcome, and how do
(41:44):
I want to treat somebody else? And just people are
being so nasty and horrible and mean and toxic, and
when it's happening with the leaders on both sides, it's like, okay,
well these are our leaders, and we're like, well.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Well, And I think that's the greatest lesson, Like, regardless
of whoever is in that office, they do not dictate
how we treat one another, how we serve one another,
how we set those standards in our local communities. And
so I think that shut out small Bone is always
a guy with great reminders, but a really a good
(42:20):
way to look at it, because regardless of who wins,
you know, at this point, like it's all in our hands.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
So what was your slogan when you ran for class president?
Did you have one? And I don't know that vote
for Chase I will win the race.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, it might have been I wanted to say by
the time I was a senior, because I ran to
be senior class president so I can give the speech
at graduation. And I think it was like lock it up,
my last name being Lock some version of that. There
was something with like lock.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
It up, clever Okay, so that was I think that
was sort of the first thing you're thankful for. So
I'll just go ahead and say that, Matt smallbones post
is what I'm thankful for for that reminder. That's something
I have gratitude for today. All right, what are you
thankful for? This will be the third thing.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I have three brothers, and my parents were blessed they're
still with us and they all ranch back in Kansas,
and our childhood ranch that we grew up on we're
going to be selling at the end of the month.
And it's all for an exciting new opportunity for us
to move to a new ranch. But I don't know,
there's something and I always associate it. Maybe I know
(43:28):
everyone has connections to where they grew up, but there
was just kind of a magic of growing up as
a ranch kid. And we recorded this video just for
us to have and to promote the cell of the property.
And anyways, I was laughing like my oldest brother, who's
super emotional, is going to be the one that cries,
(43:49):
And then we recorded it and not, of course I
was the one that cried. And I kept saying to
the camera guy like I'm not sad we're selling it.
I just feel so grateful that we were able to
grow up here, and we were able to create our
family here, and that so many of the principles that
I've talked about learning just about hard work and integrity
(44:10):
and all of that kind of came out here on
this dirt and on this place. And as we part
with it, I just feel sincerely, like an overwhelming sense
of gratitude that that was our home and excited to
move on to new, greener pastures. I guess, but I'm just, yeah,
feeling really grateful for that today and in this season.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, it's so beautiful. You posted that video and I
was like, oh my gosh, what a dream, Like such
a great place to grow up and your family is
so amazing. This would be something good to do with
your mom and your dad, like talking about some of
their core principles and you know, your siblings.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
And my dad said in the video, which is one
of my principles, not to a videy who's like raising
the boys out here. I just wanted to teach everyone
how to work and music, and now they all know
how to work. And I think he did, Like, I mean,
that was a big thing for us as I learning
how to truly create discipline in our work ethic and anyways,
(45:12):
there's a lot that I learned out there, and I'm
just so fricking grateful that i got to be a
kid that grew up there.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
For the fourth thing, I am thankful for my kids.
So mine's the little family related to We just got
an email from our adoption agency asking for the seven
year report that they have to send to Haiti. So
in December it will be seven years since they came
to live with us here in America. And every year
(45:41):
around this time we get the email that says, all right,
it's time for the one year, two year, three year,
and four year, and then this year is the seven
year report. And I cannot believe that it has been
seven years and they are just growing up to be
the most amazing kids, and I'm loving their personality. I
(46:01):
think I was born to be an older teenage mom,
like I this is where I thrive. I never got
to be the mom that was changing diapers or anything.
But I think you know, the Lord knew, like that's
just not gonna be Amy's wheelhouse. Maybe that's why we
didn't have kids. And that is something that This is
an example of was I going to let that embitter
me or embedter me? Was I going to choose a
(46:23):
different path? And Ben and I just went on the
path of adoption and then realized like, oh, we could
adopt older kids because they're the least likely to get
adopted from orphanages. And so we did. And when they
moved here, Stevenson was seven and Stashira was ten and
a half. And now Stashira is seventeen. She's going to
(46:46):
be eighteen in April, and then Stevenson is fourteen and
just the coolest kid ever. And I just love them
so much and I'm so thankful. And I do think
back to the times and I desperately wanted to be
a mom, and I really wanted to get pregnant, and
it was like negative after negative after negative, and everybody
(47:08):
around me was getting pregnant. And I had to surrender
that and I had to know that there was something greater,
that there was going to be a gain from this pain,
and my relationship with them now that's the gain. Like
it's just so cool that I get to be their
mom and their second mom. I often think of their
moms around this time, like whenever we're doing this report
(47:30):
that we have to submit, and then like Mother's Day,
I think about their birth moms. They're not biological, so
they've got two different moms, two different dads. I don't
really know anything about the dads, and it's kind of
weird that I don't really think about them. Maybe it's
because I'm a mom, but also the dads weren't involved
in anything, like the moms had to go to the orphanage.
The moms had to go before a judge and sign
(47:51):
over the paperwork, Like I know what the moms look like, like,
I don't know anything about the dads, so I suppose
I should make sure to think about them as well.
But that's something beautiful that came from something really really hard,
and I'm just very thankful for them.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Kudos to you, mom, you have led them well.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I don't know about well.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Well, they're becoming incredible kids, not by accident, so well.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Ben is a great dad and bonus gratitude real quick
is our co parenting relationship. I'm just very very thankful
for that. See, when you get started, the gratitude just
starts pouring out, and you can always think of something
that you're thinkingful for even in difficult times, even on
those days, I would actually challenge you on those days
where nothing is going right or like stuff is just
(48:36):
totally horrible, that is absolutely when you need to pause
and just start listing out things that you're grateful for,
just to help shift that perspective. But don't ignore whatever
it is you have going on. Acknowledge that too. You
can go ahead and write that stuff down too as well,
you know, acknowledge it. Okay, Chase, Well, there you have it.
(48:57):
That's it, that's a rep. That's our episode. Thanks for
coming on, Thanks for talking. I'm glad we got to
have this conversation. And where can people find you if
you want them to? We already talked about your Instagram,
But is there anywhere else? Like is it just Chase
Lock Underscore and it's Lockee Underscore underscore? Are you on Hinge?
Are you on Bumble? Are you on?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
You know? I did that for a minute, and it
wasn't the most It wasn't aligning with maybe the values
I was setting forth in how I wanted to date. Yeah,
but you can just hit me up with my DMS
at Chase Lock Underscore. I mean, that's really where you
can find me. I split time between Arkansas and Kansas
and Nashville, so yeah, hopefully I get to see you
(49:41):
in the next week or two. Yeah, see at the CMA.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
We'll see you when you come to the CMAS and
you'll get to see Stevenson because he's going to be
my date.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
He's probably my favorite. Is it Nashville?
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Oh yeah? But what about Stashira?
Speaker 1 (49:52):
She's my second favorite. I mean, Stevenson's my favorite boy, yeah,
and she's my favorite girl.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
There you go, all right, bye,
Cats up Little Food for Yourself Life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey,
it's pretty beautiful. Beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
That for a little more exciting, said he.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You're kicking it with four.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
With Amy Brown, Happy Thursday. Four Things Amy here, and
I got Chase Locke joining me. Some of you, if
you've listened to the podcast, you definitely know who Chase is.
If you're new here, you might be like, what's up
with this Chase guy? But we met over a decade
ago working on a really cool project for Haiti, and
Chase and I were just fast friends, and when I
(00:53):
first started the podcast, he would come on and help
with listener emails before Therapy Cat joined me as my
co so that was always a lot of fun. But
Chase is a dear friend, and I was talking to
him the other night because I was invited to this
life group when the conversation that was going to be
happening a life group was around living a purposeful life
(01:14):
and what core principles do you want to live by
or instill into your children and Youah, Chase and I
were just on the phone and I was like, Oh,
this could be an interesting podcast. We should sit down
and record it because I can think of four core
principles and you could share four and then hopefully it
would just encourage and challenge anybody else listening to think
(01:37):
of one or even twenty. There's way more than Chase
and I will share here, but we're going to go
over once we came up with, and I'm curious to
see what y'all come up with when you think about it,
And maybe you already have them, but you could write
them down and look at them and have your kids
go over them. And then you know something that came
up with the Life group Chase.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Chase, say Hi, Hi, Hey, what's going on?
Speaker 2 (01:59):
And tell every buddy where you are coming to us from.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I am currently sitting in my office in Rogers, Arkansas.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Chase is CEO of one Country, And it's kind of
funny that you're a CEO.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Let's be honest, that's honestly, it's really funny.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Sometimes I'm still like, God, you're in charge of so
much it's weird. So we were on the phone before
I went to the Life group, and when I was
there when it came up, someone at the table said,
you know what would be interesting is if we asked
our kids what they think our core values and principles
are as a family because as parents, you can think
(02:34):
that you're leading in a way of like, yes, this
is what our family is going to stand for, and
your kids might be like, what what are you talking about?
I really feel like it's this, this and this, and
then that'll give you good insight. Which I have kids
to ask Chase doesn't have them yet. Yep, he is
single and available in case anybody listening, which most of
(02:56):
the time I do get messages about you, either thinking
that a were or be asking if you are single.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yep, no, we're not dating. B I am single. So
hit up the DMS.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Oh okay, we'll give them your Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
At Chase Lock underscore.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
So was Chase Lock taken? Because why the underscore?
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah? I took the underscore because I wanted to keep
my name and I didn't want to put like a
number or something weird in there, and so I just
dropped the underscore. Then I could, you know, have Chase Lock.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I really wanted Amy Brown, but that was taken, so
I went with Radio Amy.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
You are Radio Amy. I mean, come on, like that
makes a lot of sense to me. It does. It
is your close friend.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
So let's just dive into living a meaningful and purposeful life.
Part of that for Chase and I right now is dating.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I wish we just had our conversations recorded over the
last year, because I think we've had a lot of meaningful,
in entertaining conversations, Like even what brought up this whole
idea of like we're getting ready talk about our principles,
but like, as we both have been in different dating
circumstances and situations, I think we both are learning a
(04:08):
lot about ourselves and one another. And the last couple
of times I've gotten off the phone with you, I'm like,
that was a really good conversation for me personally, but
I also think for you, I think we're we're good
for reflecting all these things together.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Yeah, Like I called Chase and I'm like, let's get
deep here for a second. And he's like, what, Mike,
do you think you could ever date a widower?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
And I had to stop and think about it, to
which I said, yes, I can't remember your answer. What
was your answer to that?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Initially no, but now it's yes, But now it's yes.
It's something that I have had to consider, and I
think for months it was like a no. Someone in
that position, they certainly deserve to find love again. It's
just if there's children also involved a lot of responsibility.
(05:02):
So it's just something to think about.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
So what you're saying is your stance has definitely changed.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Yes, well, yeah, we have had a lot of interesting conversations.
But when you think about how you want to show
up and who you want to show up as, and
like how I want to be as a partner, as
a wife, as a mother, it's like, sometimes there can
be some fear there, and I don't want to live scared.
I want to do things scared, I guess, but I
(05:29):
don't want to not pursue something because of a fear
that I may fail at it, or I'm not good
enough for that type of role, or that might need
extra care, or that seems like too much or overwhelming,
And that can be in anything. Right now, we're just
using this as an example, but it really will help
you assess how you want to show up in this
world and some of your core principles that you want
(05:52):
to live by. And I guess in the same vein
as that this isn't one of my core principles that
I had written down, but it would be like let
go and let God. Oh for sure, like I don't
want to get in the way, and I can be
an overthinker and I can go ahead and think I
have a solution without even really giving it anything a try.
(06:13):
And so I think let go and let God can
mean a lot of things that you can still be
intentional and prayerful and have free will and do all
those things, but you just sort of have to surrender
any preconceived notions because if we look at what you
might miss out on on life if you like take
one scenario and you just shut it down right away
without even knowing.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Let go and like God is like just the daily
reminder from me. I mean, I think it could be
like a core principle, but just for me is like
I'm like you, there's a lot of things that maybe
I overthink, I try to decide upon upfront without just
letting God lead the way and see how it plays out.
But it's definitely a good reminder for all of us.
(06:54):
Those four words let go and.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Let God, Okay, so chase before we each share are
for core principles that we've come up with for ourselves.
I think when it comes to living a meaningful and
purposeful life. You have to do a lot of reflection,
and so I have some quotes that I'm going to
share that can help us reflect, and hopefully these will
be helpful to you who you're listening right now, maybe
(07:16):
if you sit down and try to journal later to
come up with your core principles. But when life throws
curve balls, you have a choice. You have a decision
on how you respond. And one of my core values
balls right in line with that. So these quotes sort
of are in that vein. But it's like that saying,
you know, Chase, it's twenty percent the hand your dealt,
(07:39):
but then eighty percent of how you play the hand.
Like that, I think is a great quote, and that
could be small parts of your day where it's not
going your way, Like this morning, I spilt my coffee
in my console and that was annoying, but I handled
it well. I had a sports brawl that I had
on my floor from pilates, and I got it and
(08:01):
I stuck it in my cup holder and I soaked
up all the coffee and I was like, well, uh, sure,
I'm glad I left that spirst run here because then
it soaked it right up. And I handled it. I
didn't let it razzle me, which I do think there
are days that that would have just sent me over
and then it would have been this domino factor and like, uh,
I spilled my coffee and the next thing, you know,
I'd spill something else or trip while I'm walking up
(08:21):
the stairs at work, like and it would just piggyback.
But I took a deep breath, grabbed the sports brawl,
stuck it in the cup holder, soaked up the coffee,
and I was like, it's going to be a good day,
you know.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
You good attitude right like right now. I mean we're definitely,
you know, dealing at times with challenges with our business
and obviously we all in our personal lives. But I
was just praying this morning that I would be thankful
to the Lord in times of adversity and that I
would react to that adversity into those challenges in a
(08:57):
more productive way because it's an adversity that I grow.
And so I just think that's a really a good reminder,
like it's in those stuff times and how we react
and handle those that we grow and become stronger and better.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, And obviously that was a really teeny tiny example,
but the tiny little things that happened to you throughout
the day. That's like exercising that muscle so that when
the big, dramatic, oh things that really cause stress come along,
you're more equipped to deal with it accordingly and react
(09:31):
in a way that is going to serve you and
those around you better. So another quote is your circumstances
don't define you, your choices do. Success is less about
what you have and more about what you do with
what you have. There's also this one, it's not what
happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
All those are a similar sentiment, so you get the point.
(09:54):
But I think that this is just good stuff to
keep in your back pocket when you're reflecting on how
you want to show up in this world.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Yeah. What I love about all those quotes is I
think it kind of lends itself to the idea of
like your attitude and how you approach life every day.
And I think as we're talking about principles, a lot
of those principles contribute again to our attitude, whether it's
your circumstances, whether it's the cards you're dealt all those things.
I know there's days that I have to do like
(10:22):
an internal attitude check where I have people like you
and close friends and help me check it.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It reminds me I'm my youth pastor back in the day.
Well he was our youth pastor and then he became
our pastor. But when he was leading youth group, he
would tell us all attitude check and we would yell
praise the Lord, and then he would say attitude check,
and then the second time he said it would have
to say kick the devil in the head. AO. So
(10:51):
my first one, we'll go back and forth, like I'll
share one, you can share one, and then we'll get
to the four. But my first one is in alignment
with some of the quotes, and its hope and growth
through challenges, and it's inspired by my mom's journey and
her quiet yet powerful example of facing challenges with hope
(11:12):
and courage and joy. If you're new here, my mom
had cancer and it was about a two year journey.
I don't really like to say battle, although that's what
it felt like. We were at war with the cancer,
but it just sounds so negative, which cancer is negative.
But there's so many beautiful things that also came from it,
(11:33):
as well, and my mom would agree with that, but
she just handled it with yeah, such grace, and she
had hope and courage and joy. And I know that
there was a choice for all of us. There's a
choice for her and a choice for me and my
sister that we could either let it embitter us or
let it embedter us. And my sister did a whole
(11:53):
blog on that once, and we obviously had to grieve,
and I still grieve to this day, Like I missed
my mom this morning and had tears because I want
to talk to her about things and she's not here.
So yes, that relationship has been lost. I still talk
to her in other ways, like I still when I'm
(12:16):
praying and about things, and I look up at the
sky when I'm on one of my walking meditations and
I talk to my mom and I talk to God,
and she's not physically here, but I have her. So
there is a grieving process that has happened and continues
to happen. But I still search for the gain. So
even in whatever has been lost or whatever has been broken,
(12:39):
I search for the gain, trusting that with every hardship,
God is refining me, God is strengthening me, and that
is my core principle is hope and growth through challenges.
It's almost like, in a really weird way, like I
welcome the challenges at times because I've faced adversity. We
(13:01):
all have, but because I have been open to seeing
what can come from it, then it's not as scary
as I think it once was. And that she was
diagnosed with cancer what in twenty twelve, passed away in
twenty fourteen, and honestly that was probably my first real
other than my dad leaving when I was a child
(13:21):
or that was like a whole thing. But like this
is like you're an adult and this is a real
life situation. Your mom has cancer. Like I remember, this
is the hardest thing I'd ever dealt with. And since then,
in the last decade, since Chase has known me, well,
my mom getting cancer was just the warm up, you know.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
I do want to point out, like going back, you
just said like you almost welcome it, and you I
think we're trying to say, like you find some gratitude
in the adversity and what it does for you, And
I think that goes back to like just an encouragement
to me, but an encouragement to anyone else. Listening, like
really making sure that we reframe at times our challenges
(14:00):
to let it be something that fuels us and to
be something that's welcome that we know is going to
spur growth. It's like that whole attitude thing again, and
I think you've done that, You've navigated that beautifully the
last few years.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Well, my word of the moment right now for this
here is embitter and my second word is in better.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
Wait.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, those aren't words you use often. But with pain
comes a choice of are you going to let this
embitter you or embedter you? Like, if it embitters you,
then it is going to bring you down. If it's
embittering you, it is going to make you better.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
I need to work on that because I can get like,
I'm kind of the guy that like sometimes if you
hit me right, I hold a grudge and that's not
healthy for me or them or anyone else. But now
I'm going to think about does this embitter me because
or it might be better you. Yeah, we're going to
aim for em bettering.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Yes, we want to be embedtered, not embittered?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Am I enunciating correctly? Before we got onto report and
he said, make sure you a nunciate Chase, I'm like,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Mom, Okay, what is your first core principle?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
I think my first one is And this is going
to sound like I hope it doesn't come across like
I'm trying to be humble but making sure that I
live a life and service to others. And I think
that's certainly a core belief in my faith as a Christian,
is that it's not about me. But I just noticed
that whenever I'm feeling most unhealthy, this is kind of
(15:42):
being selfish, but like there's too much that's about me,
too much. I'm worrying about myself. There's too much attention
on just things that are centered around me. And I
am happiest and I feel healthiest, and I feel like
I am serving God's purpose for me my life when
I am every day finding a way to serve someone else,
(16:04):
big or small, like that could be in the simplest ways,
whether it's serving someone on our team in like a
random act of encouragement or kindness, or whether it's something bigger.
I mean, I think not to celebrate ten years or
however long we've been friends, but we were just saying
it's been over a decade I think where I've always
appreciated you is, you know, the foundation of our relationship
(16:26):
was on service and wanting to come together and do
something for others. And I think that's what we're all
called to do, you know. I think we kind of
not to sound critical of all the tools and resources
that are out there, but there's a lot of like
self care, take care of yourself first, which I believe
there's a lot of validity and value in that, and
(16:46):
you can't pour into someone else if you've got an
empty cup. But I do believe that we're meant to
focus on others, and we're meant to focus on God's
will for our life. And that's kind of how I
start my is thinking how can I be a service
of someone other than myself.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I think that times where I've been on calls with
you and you've sounded just not your best are times
when you know that you haven't been prioritizing service or others,
and you eventually get there you're like, I don't know,
just something's just off, And then we'll talk for a
little bit and you're like, yeah, it's just I've got
(17:26):
to figure out a way. Like right now, I'm just
so focused on this, this and this, and I don't
have time, and it's just all about me and work
and this and that and strategy and what's next, what's next,
And you eventually have the awareness like, oh, I need
to slow down and do something outside of this bubble
that I'm in right now. And I do think, yes,
(17:49):
there's absolutely something to putting your oxygen mask on first
before you take care of others. We do need to
do that. But I like that you brought that up,
because when you take time to be of service to others,
that could be your oxygen mask. That could fill up
your tank a little bit. And you may not think
(18:11):
that because it doesn't have anything to do with you.
It has to do with others.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah. No, And I'm so grateful, like you have been
a constant obviously in my life for many years. But
I think again, over this past year, I've realized, you know,
we've been building a business the last few years and
I've never done that before. And we've had some some
things go really right, which has been a blessing, But
(18:35):
in that it's kind of like you feel like you're
just trying to keep pushing things up the hill. And
I think my priorities at times have not been always
in the right spot, but it is every conversation I've
had with you, there's always something that goes back to like, Man,
I mean, I even started the group chat with you
and Walker because every time I'm around Walker, Walker Hayes
(18:56):
like his spirit for just loving on other people. It
is so genuine, sincere. You're like, hey, Walker, can we
do this for someone? And He's like, yep, I'll be there,
like I'm in and it just feeds my soul in
such a way, especially when you get to do it
alongside people you love, and then even more so bringing
(19:17):
strangers into the fold and you know, serving together. It's
just yeah, selfishly, it's amazing and so I try to
do a little bit more of it every day.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So fun fact, if you are new to the podcast,
Walker Hayes is the singer of the theme song here,
and we are cooking up something different for the podcast
that is in the works and I'm even smiling as
I say it, and I wish I could say more
at the moment, but well, first of all, you and
I need to revisit that text thread with Walker because
(19:46):
we've got to figure out what we're doing but also
I need Walker to put together a new little song.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
We'll just send him a link to this episode and
he can kind of get the subliminal hint hint that
he needs to get to work on that. Well.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Last time he came on the podcast as a guest,
he did say like it's time for a refresher, But
this is like an absolute we need a refresher situation,
all right. So the second core value that is important
to me and my family and my kids is open
and honest communication. And something I've really been working on
the last few years is that saying clear is kind
(20:23):
and unclear is unkind. And I am not an expert
at this particular thing. It takes a lot of work
for me because I'd rather him in haw around something
or avoid it. But that's the problem that leads to
more issues. I still have stuff that's sort of dangling
that I know I need to handle, and I know
(20:46):
I would feel just almost like an exhale if I
handled it, and that would be the kind thing to do.
But you know, I feel like I get a little
frozen at times. So if you can relate out there,
just anything that I'm saying, like, you're not alone but
I'm going to challenge you, and I'm going to challenge me.
We need to just do it. Should it be in
(21:07):
the next forty eight hours, whatever it is that's hanging,
just do it. This is for me too, But my
dad's tendency. I know, my first saying that I shared
was sort of based on my mom, and I love
my dad. My dad had a lot of really amazing qualities,
but his tendency was to brush a lot of issues
and things under the rug. And I have to work
(21:28):
hard as an adult to prioritize open communication in my family.
And I want my kids to know that there's permission
to speak honestly and to speak vulnerably paired with we
listen without judgment, because then that creates a safe space
(21:48):
for the open and honest communication. And I have to
remind myself of this quote a lot, like say what
you mean, mean what you say, and never be mean
when you say.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's good for me right now too.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
There's a verse that goes along with that too, which
I think it's in Colossians. I can't remember the exact numbers,
but it's about your speech being gracious and seasoned with salt.
And I want to speak in that way, and I
want it to mean something. I don't just want to
(22:25):
say something to say something. On Tuesday's episode, I talked
about saying yes and really meaning it, like your yeses
should mean yes and your no should mean no, and
even if you're not a people pleaser, like some people
are people pleasers and that's a whole other thing, and
that there's a lot of reasons why they're doing it.
But sometimes non people pleasers even say yes to things
(22:45):
that they don't want to do. And why do we
do that? Like why can't just know be the complete sentence,
or why when we say no, do we feel like
we have to give four paragraphs explaining why we can't
do it. If it's not thing we can do, we
should feel the freedom in a very kind and gracious
way to say that we're not going to do X,
(23:06):
y Z. And then I feel like our words mean
more when we're just clear, and I want to be
clear and I want to be kind, and gosh, I
just can think of so many examples in my head
right now where I've been unclear and unkind thinking that's
the easier route by just like ignoring it or himming
and hawing my way around it, you know, totally.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
One thing that I wrote down the other morning when
I was reading some scripture into just reflecting, was like,
in a similar vein, like I want to make sure
that I'm speaking life into others, you know, whatever it
is in that honesty, like and however I deliver things,
I think you kind of said it, like not in
a mean way, but like, I want to make sure
that it's life giving. And I think what I mean
(23:49):
by that too, is encouraging, whether it's criticism, whether it's
feedback that helps me sometimes when I go into difficult
conversations being like, Okay, I'm going to say some tough
things because I need to be honest here, but I
want to make sure that it's like life giving, that
it's not taking away from someone.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, no, it's that's good. You know who's really good
at picking up on word salad EO therapy Cat. I
don't so much mind a lot of words, because I
know that I'm guilty of that. But there's been some situations,
like over the last year, where I've just shared stuff
with her to get her advice on something, and I'm like, well,
you know, here's what the email said, or here's the
voice text. Let me play it for you, and she'll
(24:27):
listen to it, and she'll look at me and she go, any,
that is word salid. I don't even know what was
just said. And I don't really pick up on that
right away because it's sort of how I speak. And
so that is something that has stood out to me
or that I've learned or that I've tried to practice
of like, Okay, when I'm communicating with someone or I'm
(24:48):
trying to share something, well on this podcast, I know
I can tend to ramble, but that's different, like this
is just a long form, like we're chit chatting, like
we should be able to talk. But I'm talking about
if you're having a conversation with someone or communication back
and forth on text or email and you've got to
say something direct and you end up, like, you know,
saying nothing and it's a four minute voice text and
(25:09):
there's like nothing. She calls it word salid, And so
I don't want to be word salid person, Like I
don't want someone to ever hear what I've shared with
them and be like, that's word salid.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I think you guys should expand on that, because I
would welcome some additional resources from Kat on word salad.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
We need Cat to teach a class on like that.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
Oh, I needed to shut up. Sometimes I've never heard
that term, but I'm I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, okay, So what's your second one, Chase?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
My second one is curiosity. I really love learning new things.
I love learning new things about things. I don't understand
new things about people. And I think I feel healthiest
and I feel sharpest when I'm making that a part
of my day to day practice, you know, trying to
(25:56):
learn something new every day and understanding that it's a
world that is drastically changing and evolving. And while I
have my values and my principles, I want to understand
the people and the things around me a little bit better.
And sometimes I go into curiosity on the most random things,
Like I mean, I'll get a book on like the
(26:18):
mechanics of windmills just because I want to learn how
windmills came about in the history and all that. But yeah,
random stuff.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Oh you should talk about that on your next first date. Windmills.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
That was fly? I felt that. No.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
I think that's a good one, especially for kids, to
stay curious. A lot of younger. Younger kids are because
they have so many questions, and as we get older,
I think we ask less. So I have to practice
curiosity as well, which helps with connection to people. Obviously
it helps with learning about random things and whatnot, but
(26:54):
even just curiosity about people and wanting to know more
of their story and what they're about.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
I always back on word salad. It's funny. When I
wrote down curiosity, I was looking in my journal and
I've written several times next to it that it's like
my listening principle or action, like in my curiosity. Let
that be a time when I listen to people more
and don't always try to like talk and ask questions
and like just let others be heard, because sometimes I
(27:23):
could be a talker.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Do you have ADHD? I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Unofficially when I was younger, was diagnosed, but it was
never revisited. But it's funny you say that because it
came up last week with my doctor, so I probably
probably do.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
That's something I have to work on because my brain
is having so many different thoughts and I'm really trying
to listen and pay attention to what someone is saying,
but then I also am thinking about the next thing
I'm going to say, and that's a very ADHD type behavior.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Why we conversate so well together maybe.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Or not so well or not. My third one is
a mantra that I actually stole from your favorite person
in the world, which would be Christie, which is your sister, Yeah,
Ding Ding Ding. Chase is obsessed with my sister, Christy
Doser and her husband beIN Doser. They have a company
(28:17):
called Root Design, and they have root in all of
their businesses, like they have a coffee shop called Root House,
and then they had a show an HGTV called Building
Roots and everything has root because the root is the
source from which things grow and so the root is
very important obviously. And one of their mantras is all
(28:39):
about building people up. And the exact mantra is, what
if it's less about what we build and more about
who we build up? And I've adopted that for myself
and for my family and want to instill that in
my kids because first of all, whatever's going on in life,
that's something that helps keep you grounded. And then a
priority tizes connection and also compassion, and I just I
(29:05):
love the mantra and it's so simple. What if it
is less about what we build and more about who
we build up.
Speaker 1 (29:13):
Yep, I'm sitting here. I'm showing Amy my root House
coffee cup. It's not the one, but there's one that
they sell that says root for each other. And I
love that because I think that definitely embodies how they
live their life and how they run their businesses.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
And yeah, I was on a business call the other
day that was about some things that are going to
be changing a little bit, and you know, someone said, wait, well,
why would you want to handle it that way? Like
this is something that you've done and then now this
is just going to like swoop in And that doesn't
seem I don't remember the exact word. Let's just say
the word fair. And it never crossed my mind about
(29:51):
it being fair, and I'm glad it didn't. Like, I'm
so glad that that wasn't my first thought. My thought
was this is cool, and this is fun and this
is exciting, and this is an opportunity to lift someone
else up. Who cares if they've been here from the
beginning or not, Like I want to invite them in
on something and be a part of it and lift
(30:15):
them up. It will benefit them. But that's okay if
it's without saying exactly what it is, but if it's
less for me and maybe more for someone else, like
I'm okay with that because we're building something together and
it's not just about me.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
All right. My third one is leadership, and I have
this as a principle, Like I think sometimes people think
like certain people are leaders and others or not, But
I kind of live under the viewpoint that we all
are leaders in some way, and it's a responsibility, whether
you lead your family, whether you lead a team, whether
(31:03):
you you know, lead folks on other sorts of teams.
It's something that I think is a responsibility that I
don't want to take lightly and is something that kind
of drives a lot of my decision making throughout the day,
obviously leading our team here at the company. But you know,
how do I lead, well, how do I lead people
(31:24):
in a direction that is fruitful both for the objectives
that we have here at work, but also in a
way that's going to have them have more fulfilled personal lives.
And so I think I used to be under the
assumption that leadership was like when I was student body
president in high school or captain of whatever team. And
(31:45):
then it's like when I became a CEO or whatever.
But it's like, I realize there's an opportunity to lead
people every day.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Love Keith Flex is there?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I mean, sorry, were you not student body president?
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Or actually I ran for treasure in the fourth grade
vote for Amy Moffett. You can't top it and I lost.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Oh my god, quick sidebar. What I think is like
the first time I felt like I was a leader.
This is going to sound so ridiculous, and I'm not
trying to be funny about it. I was in the
eighth grade when nine to eleven happened and we ended
up having assembly, and the counselor the principle was like,
we want the student body president to say something to
(32:28):
the school like they were talking about it, and I've
prepared that speech like I was the President of the
United States of America, like I thought I was addressing
the people we were under attack. But I just genuinely
remember how serious I took that, thinking I need to
encourage my classmates because everyone's so scared and sad. And
(32:50):
this was day after. It wasn't like day of, to
be clear, but I always think about that as like
the first time I felt this responsibility is a little
leader is the student body president and junior high to
lead everyone to a sense of unity and security.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I love that. I would love to read that speech.
Do you think you have it anywhere?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Actually, my mom has it. I know she has it,
So yeah, I do need to find that you are.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
A natural leader. I don't know that I put myself
in that leader category, but that's.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Okay, that's the whole point. I mean, I think how
I view it is like you have a platform, and
so in your own way, that's leadership, you know, and
how you lead people through that, whether it's by entertaining
and encouragement and obviously your mom to two incredible kiddos,
and that's leadership. And so I think it presents differently
for everyone.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
But I know, gosh, sometimes like I'm in my house
and I'm like, I am in charge here, Like I
am in charge of this house and these people and
these things, and I have certain responsibilities and then I
get a little freaked out. But then I'm like, oh, yeah,
but I'm totally capable, and I've done this for a
while now. I think getting divorced definitely sort of had
(34:05):
to like kick me in the pants to grow up
a little bit and really take on more of a
leadership role. But it's been very empowering. I do love
a good delegation, like I like to be told what
to do and then I will do it and I
will do a good job. But I also like creating
and coming up with stuff myself, I guess, but if
I had to choose, I would rather work alongside people
(34:28):
and then be delegated too. And some people are like,
no way, I have to be in charge, Like I
want to be the leader, and I just don't know
that that's my energy. And I still think it is
a little comical that I tried to run for treasurer
when I hate money like I like, I literally like
freak out. I mean, I've had a lot of growth
the last two years. Again, like being a single person
(34:50):
now that has to manage your own finances. But before that,
for seventeen years of marriage, I don't even know how
to log into my bank account because money gave me
such anxiety. And there I was running for treasure. Also,
did you know that I was diagnosed with discalcula Wait,
what is that? It's the form of dyslexia, Like I
have that too, but it's honest, it's on a spectrum.
(35:11):
Some people have it worse than others. But I do
have dyslexia and I have dysc calcula, which oftentimes go
hand in hand. But it's the numbers version of dyslexia.
So I think it is obvious why I did not
win treasure in the fourth grade.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Well, you want in other ways, and we're all proud
of you for it.
Speaker 2 (35:32):
Thanks. Okay, So were you on the fourth thing now?
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Mine is gratitude. That's just something that is huge in
our house. I practice it with my kids all the time.
We do it at the dinner table. It may look different.
It might be, you know, sort of like what we
do here at the podcast here four things you're thankful
for today, big or small, or it could be high low.
But in the high there's gratitude because something that you
(35:57):
use you're the exciting part of your day or the
best part of your day. And then even in the low,
it gives you an opportunity to see what went wrong
in the day. But then you can pivot it sort
of back to my first core principle, and then you
have an opportunity to either talk to your kids, or
your spouse, or your roommate or even yourself about Okay, well,
(36:17):
that seems like that was something tough today, But what's
the gain. Let's search for the gain in this. You know,
are we going to let that embitter us or embetter us?
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Hey, I wrote that down. You know what's funny is
I swear to like my number four is also gratitude.
And everyone kind of gives me a hard time because
I love the CC Wining song Goodness of God. And
I think, you know, Patrick, who's one of my business partners,
who you know, like he'll always reference after we come
(36:49):
out of a tough situation, like you have selective amnesia,
Like you look back on things and you're like you
act like everything was great. And I think for me,
it's always as I reflect and I'm trying to do
better of being like really grateful in the moment, but
like my whole life has just been like I have
just been truly in the goodness of God, and I
(37:11):
have been so loved even when things have been tough
or difficult, and every day I know that I just
feel incredibly grateful that I get to have the life
I live and get to have the people in my
life that I do, and it makes all the difference
when you really take time every day to reflect on that,
(37:34):
which obviously anyone that listens to this podcast has heard
you talk about for many years. And you were someone
that kind of forced me into the early habit of
writing down three or four things that I was grateful for,
and that became a habit that has become a core
principle in my life and I'm grateful for it.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Well, I'll link our four Things Gratitude journal in the
show notes, which would be easy way to find it,
but you can also just go to four things dot
com and one hundred percent of the proceeds go to
education in Haiti. And it is a way for you
to practice gratitude as an adult or maybe even as
a family. You can fill it out or it's great
for kids. There's quotes on each page. They're really encouraging.
(38:16):
There's stickers in the back for the days that maybe
you don't have words, and there's journaling prompts. Because for me,
before I started journaling, I was very intimidated by it
and wanted something that wasn't overwhelming and easy. So when
we were designing that, it was like, oh, let's just
keep it really simple and you can just write one word,
(38:40):
like if there's four things you're thinking before, you can
do one word, or you can just fill out the
whole page and just take pen to paper and just
start going and at least try to come up with
four things that you're thankful for. Or if that's overwhelming,
you can think of one and then fill out one
and then on day two fill out the second one
and you can just go through the pages differently, Like
you know, it's a laid back journal that could be
(39:00):
a good gift for yourself this holiday season or other
people in your life, and it's a win win type
of gift with the support that's going to Haiti. Again,
all proceeds go to that. So yeah, four Things Gratitude Journal.
I haven't mentioned that in a little bit, but again,
all link it into show notes. You can hit up
four things dot com and Chase we should just share.
I guess since we both pick gratitude, that's kind of cool.
(39:23):
We can do two plus two is four. I know
I have dyscalcula, but I do know that if I
do two things and you do two things, that would
be four things gratitude. You nailed it, and we'll go
sort of like we did with our principles. We can
just popcorn back and forth. You go, first, what's something
you're grateful for?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
I will say, I mean first one. We're recording this
on election day in it really like is not lost
on me. I know sometimes people are like, I'm not
going to vote. My vote doesn't matter. But just what
our privilege it is, even when our country maybe isn't
always at its best, that we all drew the card
to be Americans, to have the ability to vote in
(40:02):
a democracy. And I'm sincerely grateful to live in America,
to be an American.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
I too exercised my right to vote. I did early voting.
Did you do early voting or did you vote today?
Speaker 1 (40:13):
I'm a day of guy. I know that's not the
most productive anymore, but yeah I did this morning.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Okay, cool, I posted my picture this morning and then
I put up a question box and I'm like, so
who'd you guys vote for? But I was like, just kidding,
just getting voting as personal. You don't have to say
or you can say, and that's totally fine. But yeah,
it's just been so toxic and divisive and heavy, and
I really hope that we can turn a corner at
(40:40):
some point in maybe the next election, At some point
the next maybe not the next one, but the next one,
there can be some healings, some maybe some growth. Are
we gonna let this embitter us chase or are we
gonna let it in better us regardless of the outcome
my pastor keep up something that was so good and
(41:02):
minds me, I'm going to pull it up right now.
I had not thought of it. But Matt's smallbone is
his handle, and he put up like a really good
post that just more so takes the focus on anybody
that's running for president, anybody outside of you. It's more
looking inward and what's going on with you and your heart.
And then he went through like the fruit of the spirit.
(41:22):
He's like in the last year, where are you with love, joy, peace,
patient's kindest, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control? But I reposted
it in my stories and it's just really comforting to
read and then know, oh, yeah, there is this big
thing happening this week. But I also can just look
inward and focus on myself and how do I want
to show up regardless of the outcome, and how do
(41:44):
I want to treat somebody else? And just people are
being so nasty and horrible and mean and toxic, and
when it's happening with the leaders on both sides, it's like, okay,
well these are our leaders, and we're like, well.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Well, And I think that's the greatest lesson, Like, regardless
of whoever is in that office, they do not dictate
how we treat one another, how we serve one another,
how we set those standards in our local communities. And
so I think that shut out small Bone is always
a guy with great reminders, but a really a good
(42:20):
way to look at it, because regardless of who wins,
you know, at this point, like it's all in our hands.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
So what was your slogan when you ran for class president?
Did you have one? And I don't know that vote
for Chase I will win the race.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Yeah, it might have been I wanted to say by
the time I was a senior, because I ran to
be senior class president so I can give the speech
at graduation. And I think it was like lock it up,
my last name being Lock some version of that. There
was something with like lock.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
It up, clever Okay, so that was I think that
was sort of the first thing you're thankful for. So
I'll just go ahead and say that, Matt smallbones post
is what I'm thankful for for that reminder. That's something
I have gratitude for today. All right, what are you
thankful for? This will be the third thing.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I have three brothers, and my parents were blessed they're
still with us and they all ranch back in Kansas,
and our childhood ranch that we grew up on we're
going to be selling at the end of the month.
And it's all for an exciting new opportunity for us
to move to a new ranch. But I don't know,
there's something and I always associate it. Maybe I know
(43:28):
everyone has connections to where they grew up, but there
was just kind of a magic of growing up as
a ranch kid. And we recorded this video just for
us to have and to promote the cell of the property.
And anyways, I was laughing like my oldest brother, who's
super emotional, is going to be the one that cries,
(43:49):
And then we recorded it and not, of course I
was the one that cried. And I kept saying to
the camera guy like I'm not sad we're selling it.
I just feel so grateful that we were able to
grow up here, and we were able to create our
family here, and that so many of the principles that
I've talked about learning just about hard work and integrity
(44:10):
and all of that kind of came out here on
this dirt and on this place. And as we part
with it, I just feel sincerely, like an overwhelming sense
of gratitude that that was our home and excited to
move on to new, greener pastures. I guess, but I'm just, yeah,
feeling really grateful for that today and in this season.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
Yeah, it's so beautiful. You posted that video and I
was like, oh my gosh, what a dream, Like such
a great place to grow up and your family is
so amazing. This would be something good to do with
your mom and your dad, like talking about some of
their core principles and you know, your siblings.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
And my dad said in the video, which is one
of my principles, not to a videy who's like raising
the boys out here. I just wanted to teach everyone
how to work and music, and now they all know
how to work. And I think he did, Like, I mean,
that was a big thing for us as I learning
how to truly create discipline in our work ethic and anyways,
(45:12):
there's a lot that I learned out there, and I'm
just so fricking grateful that i got to be a
kid that grew up there.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
For the fourth thing, I am thankful for my kids.
So mine's the little family related to We just got
an email from our adoption agency asking for the seven
year report that they have to send to Haiti. So
in December it will be seven years since they came
to live with us here in America. And every year
(45:41):
around this time we get the email that says, all right,
it's time for the one year, two year, three year,
and four year, and then this year is the seven
year report. And I cannot believe that it has been
seven years and they are just growing up to be
the most amazing kids, and I'm loving their personality. I
(46:01):
think I was born to be an older teenage mom,
like I this is where I thrive. I never got
to be the mom that was changing diapers or anything.
But I think you know, the Lord knew, like that's
just not gonna be Amy's wheelhouse. Maybe that's why we
didn't have kids. And that is something that This is
an example of was I going to let that embitter
me or embedter me? Was I going to choose a
(46:23):
different path? And Ben and I just went on the
path of adoption and then realized like, oh, we could
adopt older kids because they're the least likely to get
adopted from orphanages. And so we did. And when they
moved here, Stevenson was seven and Stashira was ten and
a half. And now Stashira is seventeen. She's going to
(46:46):
be eighteen in April, and then Stevenson is fourteen and
just the coolest kid ever. And I just love them
so much and I'm so thankful. And I do think
back to the times and I desperately wanted to be
a mom, and I really wanted to get pregnant, and
it was like negative after negative after negative, and everybody
(47:08):
around me was getting pregnant. And I had to surrender
that and I had to know that there was something greater,
that there was going to be a gain from this pain,
and my relationship with them now that's the gain. Like
it's just so cool that I get to be their
mom and their second mom. I often think of their
moms around this time, like whenever we're doing this report
(47:30):
that we have to submit, and then like Mother's Day,
I think about their birth moms. They're not biological, so
they've got two different moms, two different dads. I don't
really know anything about the dads, and it's kind of
weird that I don't really think about them. Maybe it's
because I'm a mom, but also the dads weren't involved
in anything, like the moms had to go to the orphanage.
The moms had to go before a judge and sign
(47:51):
over the paperwork, Like I know what the moms look like, like,
I don't know anything about the dads, so I suppose
I should make sure to think about them as well.
But that's something beautiful that came from something really really hard,
and I'm just very thankful for them.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Kudos to you, mom, you have led them well.
Speaker 2 (48:09):
I don't know about well.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Well, they're becoming incredible kids, not by accident, so well.
Speaker 2 (48:14):
Ben is a great dad and bonus gratitude real quick
is our co parenting relationship. I'm just very very thankful
for that. See, when you get started, the gratitude just
starts pouring out, and you can always think of something
that you're thinkingful for even in difficult times, even on
those days, I would actually challenge you on those days
where nothing is going right or like stuff is just
(48:36):
totally horrible, that is absolutely when you need to pause
and just start listing out things that you're grateful for,
just to help shift that perspective. But don't ignore whatever
it is you have going on. Acknowledge that too. You
can go ahead and write that stuff down too as well,
you know, acknowledge it. Okay, Chase, Well, there you have it.
(48:57):
That's it, that's a rep. That's our episode. Thanks for
coming on, Thanks for talking. I'm glad we got to
have this conversation. And where can people find you if
you want them to? We already talked about your Instagram,
But is there anywhere else? Like is it just Chase
Lock Underscore and it's Lockee Underscore underscore? Are you on Hinge?
Are you on Bumble? Are you on?
Speaker 1 (49:19):
You know? I did that for a minute, and it
wasn't the most It wasn't aligning with maybe the values
I was setting forth in how I wanted to date. Yeah,
but you can just hit me up with my DMS
at Chase Lock Underscore. I mean, that's really where you
can find me. I split time between Arkansas and Kansas
and Nashville, so yeah, hopefully I get to see you
(49:41):
in the next week or two. Yeah, see at the CMA.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
We'll see you when you come to the CMAS and
you'll get to see Stevenson because he's going to be
my date.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
He's probably my favorite. Is it Nashville?
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Oh yeah? But what about Stashira?
Speaker 1 (49:52):
She's my second favorite. I mean, Stevenson's my favorite boy, yeah,
and she's my favorite girl.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
There you go, all right, bye,
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Host
Amy Brown
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