December 7, 2024 • 17 mins
OUTWEIGH: In the final part of our holiday series on Outweigh, Amy and Leanne explore the transformative power of self-acceptance as the greatest gift we can give ourselves during the holiday season.
Amy introduces the idea that self-acceptance is often overlooked in holiday conversations, yet it is the key to fully enjoying the festivities. They discuss why prioritizing self-acceptance matters more than striving for self-improvement during the holidays and beyond, emphasizing the shift from self-criticism to self-compassion as a pathway to peace rather than productivity.
Leanne shares how this is actually the missing link to find peace within yourself and your body, and she also recounts a powerful story from a client whose embrace of self-acceptance completely transformed their holiday experience, positively impacting their relationships and overall joy.
As we close out the series, it's all about reminding you that the greatest gift of all is the freedom to embrace who you are—just as you are.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Aga, I'm strong, I feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
If you feel it with your fell some love to
the vid. Why get there? Take you one day an
did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy Brown and Leanne Ellington Here. This
is part four of our holiday series, and today we're
talking about the gift of self acceptance and giving yourself
permission to enjoy the holidays. Thanksgiving is behind us, but
Christmas New Year's ahead of us, and we just really
want you to wrap up this year with the confidence
(00:57):
that you can enjoy the hall and you can give
yourself that gift of self acceptance. And I just want
you to even think of a week from today if
you start to implement some of the stuff that Leanne
and I've been talking about the last few weeks as
we've done this holiday series, but even more exciting, I
want you to think of Thanksgiving and Christmas time twenty
(01:20):
twenty five because if you continue on this path, because
if you're listening right now, that means you're curious about it,
or you're dedicated, or you are searching for tools. I
remember when I was so desperate in my eating disorder.
I wanted all the tools. I wanted to listen to,
all the things I wanted to read, all the things.
I just wanted a lot of stuff in my toolbox,
(01:43):
and I just had this desperation. So I feel like,
if you're listening right now, you may not be as
desperate as I once was, but you're listening for a reason.
You're curious and you want support, and that is what
Leanne and I would like to offer you. I just
want you to visualize yourself. If this holiday season seems
(02:05):
like a stretch, I want you to visualize twenty twenty
five and the freedom you will feel if you continue
on the path of trying to navigate and figure this
whole thing out when it comes to your body and
food and accepting who you are. So that's what we're
talking about today, Self acceptance.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Beautifully said, Yeah, and I think that you know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
One of the things I hear the most is like Leanne,
I just wish I could, you know, love myself and
experience self love. And one of the things I invite
people into is that, you know, if you are coming
from this place of self criticism or self rejection, going
to like I just I hate my body, or I
hate myself or whatever we're saying, right, or I'm frustrated
with myself, embarrass ashamed, to like I love myself without
(02:51):
passing through acceptance is a losing game.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's too big of a jump.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And self acceptance is such a powerful and I believe
necessary to cultivate that. If we are so focused on
just going to self love right away, we skip over
the most important part, because how can you love something
that you don't accept How can you love something that
you completely reject?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Right?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And So this concept of self acceptance, the way I
position it or the way I define it, is really
you know, accepting all of who you are warts and all, right,
the good, the bad, the ugly, right, just accepting it.
It doesn't mean you always have to like it, right,
but just accepting who you are and where you are.
Because also what's the alternative to accepting it? The alternative
(03:31):
is looking back in the past, you know, shaming, blaming self,
comparing ourselves, perfectionism, regret, and we are where we are today, right,
and again, shaming it, blaming it doesn't change that. It
just also just adds suffering on top of it. But
self acceptance is also one of those things where you know,
I love the concept of grace. You know that even
(03:52):
when I don't think I deserve it kind of acceptance.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
You know, to me, it's that God like acceptance. It's
that unconditional love kind of acceptance.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
But that acceptance like when I don't think I deserve it,
I still accept who I am.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
But sometimes that means accepting that there's things that.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
We don't like and we want to go and prove
upon them. And so you're allowed to accept yourself and
not always like it. But I truly believe the prerequisite
to even liking yourself and loving yourself is to accept
where you are, because again, what's the alternative living in
a non reality, pretending like this isn't what it is,
and then we learn to live in again self rejection.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I think one of the beautiful things that comes along
with self acceptance is just a peace and you're able
to just be present because you're not worried about all
of these other things, and then that gives you the
opportunity to connect with those that are around you for
the holidays and actually enjoy the food and enjoy the
(04:49):
experience that has been created, whether you're the one that's
cooking for everybody and you actually get to sit down
and enjoy it too, or you've been invited into somebody
else's home and it's your grandmother's cooking or your mom's,
your dad's, you know. In the theme song for Outweigh,
Brittany Spencer and I wrote that song together, and you know,
(05:09):
some people may skip through, but if you listen to
the very beginning of the episode, there's a little Outweigh
theme song and Britney sings missing out on family meals
around the table because what grandma made is bad, so
we're not able. And I think when you give yourself
permission to enjoy the holidays and you have accepted where
(05:31):
you are, you give yourself the gift of enjoying what
grandma made because you are able, you can have it
if that is what you want. This is your permission. Slip.
Like if I were a doctor and right now I
needed to write a script for you, like I would
be like, enjoy the holidays. Exclamation point. There you go.
(05:52):
That's just your go take that to the pharmacy and
get whatever you need to enjoy. But the beauty of
that is you actually don't even have to go to
a pharmacy. You just have to talk to your brain
and talk to it a lot and remind it that
it is safe and it is okay, and life is
beautiful and life is precious, and it is fleeting, and
you don't want to miss these moments. You don't want
(06:14):
them to pass you by. You don't want another year
to pass. And that's why I was saying, Okay, you
can picture yourself next year and it's going to be exciting,
but I really want you to be able to enjoy
Christmas this year or New Year's this year, whatever's left
of the year. I want you to enjoy it and
not just like fall into the same pattern that you've
been in year after year.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
And I think it's so easy to fall into that
trap of like, oh, I'll accept myself when I do
this or when I reach that, like then I'll be acceptable.
And it's like, no, what if you're acceptable right now,
without the extra hustle, without the productivity, just exactly where
you are, the weight that you're at the relationship status
that you're at, a number of money in your bank
account that you're at right now, acceptable right now. And
(06:58):
I think a lot of people are assuming rejection from
other people because they're rejecting themselves and they think that
like productivity or improving.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Themselves is going to change that.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
But like Amy was just saying, that's a decision that
you can make right now, where you can say no.
It's almost like a getting defiant with yourself. For me,
what it looked like is where I kind of drew
that line in the sand and I said, no, I'm
no longer willing to live in this storyline where there's
something wrong with me. I'm constantly looking for my flaws
because this self rejection is coming from me, and I'm
no longer playing this game like we almost do have
(07:30):
to kind of get defiant and adult ourselves an up
level to this conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
But notice what I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I didn't say like, oh, I was able to achieve
my way through that belief or I was a way
to accomplish my way through that belief. No, it was
literally a conversation that I had to have with myself
and a line in the sand and Fortunately I had
good mentors too, and I still do surround myself with
people when I know that I'm falling into those traps.
They helped me hold that mirror up to myself as well.
(07:57):
Because it's an ongoing journey. But this is a gift
that we can get ourselves right now, right now. There
doesn't have to be like you said, Amy, just gave
you this permission slip, because it really is that simple.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
You can say no again.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
There's certain things that I want to improve and I
want to, you know, work on. But in the meantime,
I accept where I am, who I am, and I
honor the journey that got me here because the version
of me that I needed to become maybe she had
to go through those that stuff and in a way
I'll never know because it already happened, right but either way,
like I'm choosing to become a more resilient version of
myself in the face of all my adversity, and I
(08:30):
accept who I am right now, and that's the power
that we can cultivate today.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It makes me think of other lyrics and the song
and even the title Outweigh and self. It's a life
without disordered eating outweighs everything, and maybe you need to
listen to the song on repeat or listen to it
as you're driving to Christmas meal or Christmas Day or
every day leading up to But it's you know, I
(08:55):
won't let my body out weigh outweigh everything that I
made and that you were made for. That's what it's saying,
Like your life is so precious and you deserve to
be free of this stuff that is weighing you down.
I always felt shackled. That was the best way for
(09:16):
me to describe my life when I was consumed by
my disordered behaviors, Like I was this weight I carried
around with me figuratively obviously, just like just like I
was dragging it behind me, all my eating disorder and
all my drama and everything that I was imposing on
everybody else. Because okay, here's the thing. You may also
(09:40):
think that you're showing up like in your stuff's not
impacting everybody else, like your energy that you're bringing to
the table. But sometimes when you're bringing disordered eating or
eating disorder energy to a party, you're a real downer.
Because I was a party pooper a multiple times, like
I would bring the energy down real quick. So just know,
(10:03):
like who do you want to show up as? And
I think, yeah, that self acceptance of like this is,
this is this situation, this is where I am. And
Leanne you you even touched on this a little bit.
It doesn't mean that this is exactly where you want
to stay. Maybe there are things that you want to
you know, adjust in twenty twenty five. You have the
right to do that from the right mindset, from a
(10:25):
healthy mindset. I remember thinking what I've talked about this
before too, like even in recovery, like the pendulum had
to swing, like I had to go so far the
other direction that I was yep, you know, just I
was like eat whatever I want, Like I'm not going
to do anything kale or lemon or anything that I
was forcing myself. And now I've realized I don't even
(10:47):
really like kale. But then at the end of the day,
I do need to worry about my gut, my microbiome,
Like there are things that I can now make a
very educated decision on when it comes to food. Instead
of making a dramatic decision, I'm making more of an
informed you know, sort of like Leanne you like to say,
the data versus the drama. Now I can approach certain
(11:07):
decisions of like food that I want to partake in
as well. This is data tells me that I know,
if I consume this, it's going to be good for
my liver, or it's gonna be good for my kidneys,
or it's going to be good for my heart. Like
I'm going to feel better after I eat this. I'm
not like just forcing myself to eat it because I'm
trying to quote unquote be healthy and I don't even
(11:28):
understand the reason behind it. Kind of went on a
little you know, rabbit trail there.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
But no, it's good, it's good. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
My point is that you're more important than any of
this other being disorder crap, and I just want to
give you that encouragement.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Well, you said something really important too, Amy that I
want to just kind of reiterate. Is accepting where you
are and who you are does not mean resigning, and
it does not means settling. I think people kind of
fall into that chapel. If I accept myself, am I
just going to have to like stay like this forever?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Does that mean the quitting?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And It's like no, that's the accepting the data accepting
what is accepting reality with compassion, with grace, with that love,
with that you know, kindness to yourself, but then also
identifying that that's where you know there might be some
areas that you want to up level.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, it's a constant evolution, Like even in recovery, I
guess is my point is I am still introducing things
back into my world that I shunned in recovery because
I was like, oh, I don't need to be that way,
that's too extreme. But then also it's like, oh what
that stuff actually is like nutritionally good for me. So
(12:42):
you know, the pendulum levels out, but it's a constant
process where if you are open to growth, then you're
going to continue to evolve, which if you're not evolving,
your death.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Yeah, and that's actually a perfect segue into the last
distinction I wanted to bring up. And then I want
to share a little anecdote from a client of mine.
But there's this idea of you know, during the holidays,
a lot of people actually go in the opposite mode
where it's like this, I have.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
To be like productive and set goals and all of.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
That, and like self improvement is is great, Like there's
nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it outvotes self acceptance
if you've never passed through that or like learned the
skill of self acceptance. So I think a lot of
people confuse self improvement with self acceptance as well. And
that's the distinction that I wanted to share as well,
because again, that comes back to this idea of like, oh,
(13:31):
I'll accept myself when I do this, or when I
create that, or when I achieve that, you know. And
it's interesting because I had a client that this was
an Easter experience for her because that's the time of
the year that all of her family got together.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
That's like their one time of year, and she fully
owned it.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
She's like, every time I went to a family gathering,
I always felt like I had to show people, like
how much I got done, how much I you know.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Did it work, or how much weight I've lost or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And in this year, like this past year, she's like,
I'm just going to go in and beat because she
had completely transformed her entire state, her entire self image,
and this year she noticed that the kind of conversations
that she was in people were just like, what's different
about you? Like you're lighter, like you're glowing, you have
more energy.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And it wasn't anything about work, Like.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
She wasn't talking about work, she wasn't talking about productivity,
she wasn't talking.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
About like her workouts.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Like.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
It just shifted the conversation because she had gone through
the process of not always focusing on like hustling hustling
hustling in order to be acceptable to herself. She focused
on the self image side of self acceptance. It didn't
give up on her goals, didn't turn her back or
settle for what she wants, but she wasn't embodying this
kind of like hustle culture that she used to think
that she needed to be acceptable, and it like really
(14:42):
transferred over to when she was around her family as well.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I love that example. And I know I was giving
food things a minute ago, but that makes me think
of some of my other behaviors that I just kind
of like had, yeah, throw out, but then now get
to come back in and it can be this.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yeah, it's it's that pendulum.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It's the pendulum. It's swings it is and you don't
be like I'm roll with it, I'm here for the ride.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, And like even just being like I see you pendulum,
and I accept you like this is just part of it,
like rather than making it wrong or adding drama to it.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Like it's just the pendulum is real.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
But when was the best time to plant a tree?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yesterday?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Twenty years ago? Oh, twenty years ago. So when's the
second best time to plant a tree.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Nineteen years ago? This is a true question.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Right now, right now?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Man, I just failed that task.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Man, that's no worries. Landa's just an old Chinese proverb.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah, it's just you just wouldn't get it, land but you.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Wouldn't get it. But obviously the point of that is, Yeah,
you could have implemented some of this self acceptance twenty
years ago and that would have been really helpful. But
yeah it's twenty twenty. Who cares do it? Right now?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Amen? Yeah, I'm all about the second time to planetree?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So the first first best time's overrated.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Because I won't let my body outweigh outweigh everything that
I'm made of, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I am strong,
i am free, I know every part of me is beautiful,
and I'm all always out way if you feel to
(16:26):
put your hands in the air, throw some love to
the mirror while y'all there, let's take it one day
at a time because you and I outway, y'all should
get a girl. Y'all should definitely go listen to Brittany
seeing that because that was a very sad version. But
the lyrics. I want y'all to listen to the lyrics
(16:48):
because they're there for a reason and maybe they will
offer you encouragement during this season. So Leanne, where can
people find you.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
If you want to learn more about how to completely
rewire your brain, your nervous system, through your thoughts, your beliefs,
and really heal from your all or nothing disorder? You
can check it out over at stressful seating dot com.
I've feel back the curtain and showing you how I
teach my clients how to do the same.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Thing, and I am at Radio Amy. You can find
me there and Leanne and I Well, we'll be back
next Saturday if you missed any of the other three episodes.
So this was a four part series on the holidays,
and I think still beneficial. It started before Thanksgiving, but
there's obviously still time to listen, so go back and
(17:29):
listen to the previous three weeks if you are curious
or think it might be helpful. Tools in your toolbox.
That's all without way is just every weekend is a
little extra tool. So all right, talk to you later.
Bye bye
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made, don't won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning to love who I am.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
Aga, I'm strong, I feel free.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I know every part of me it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And that will always out way.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
If you feel it with your fell some love to
the vid. Why get there? Take you one day an
did you and die out way?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh Amy Brown and Leanne Ellington Here. This
is part four of our holiday series, and today we're
talking about the gift of self acceptance and giving yourself
permission to enjoy the holidays. Thanksgiving is behind us, but
Christmas New Year's ahead of us, and we just really
want you to wrap up this year with the confidence
(00:57):
that you can enjoy the hall and you can give
yourself that gift of self acceptance. And I just want
you to even think of a week from today if
you start to implement some of the stuff that Leanne
and I've been talking about the last few weeks as
we've done this holiday series, but even more exciting, I
want you to think of Thanksgiving and Christmas time twenty
(01:20):
twenty five because if you continue on this path, because
if you're listening right now, that means you're curious about it,
or you're dedicated, or you are searching for tools. I
remember when I was so desperate in my eating disorder.
I wanted all the tools. I wanted to listen to,
all the things I wanted to read, all the things.
I just wanted a lot of stuff in my toolbox,
(01:43):
and I just had this desperation. So I feel like,
if you're listening right now, you may not be as
desperate as I once was, but you're listening for a reason.
You're curious and you want support, and that is what
Leanne and I would like to offer you. I just
want you to visualize yourself. If this holiday season seems
(02:05):
like a stretch, I want you to visualize twenty twenty
five and the freedom you will feel if you continue
on the path of trying to navigate and figure this
whole thing out when it comes to your body and
food and accepting who you are. So that's what we're
talking about today, Self acceptance.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Beautifully said, Yeah, and I think that you know.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
One of the things I hear the most is like Leanne,
I just wish I could, you know, love myself and
experience self love. And one of the things I invite
people into is that, you know, if you are coming
from this place of self criticism or self rejection, going
to like I just I hate my body, or I
hate myself or whatever we're saying, right, or I'm frustrated
with myself, embarrass ashamed, to like I love myself without
(02:51):
passing through acceptance is a losing game.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's too big of a jump.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
And self acceptance is such a powerful and I believe
necessary to cultivate that. If we are so focused on
just going to self love right away, we skip over
the most important part, because how can you love something
that you don't accept How can you love something that
you completely reject?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Right?
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And So this concept of self acceptance, the way I
position it or the way I define it, is really
you know, accepting all of who you are warts and all, right,
the good, the bad, the ugly, right, just accepting it.
It doesn't mean you always have to like it, right,
but just accepting who you are and where you are.
Because also what's the alternative to accepting it? The alternative
(03:31):
is looking back in the past, you know, shaming, blaming self,
comparing ourselves, perfectionism, regret, and we are where we are today, right,
and again, shaming it, blaming it doesn't change that. It
just also just adds suffering on top of it. But
self acceptance is also one of those things where you know,
I love the concept of grace. You know that even
(03:52):
when I don't think I deserve it kind of acceptance.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
You know, to me, it's that God like acceptance. It's
that unconditional love kind of acceptance.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
But that acceptance like when I don't think I deserve it,
I still accept who I am.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
But sometimes that means accepting that there's things that.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
We don't like and we want to go and prove
upon them. And so you're allowed to accept yourself and
not always like it. But I truly believe the prerequisite
to even liking yourself and loving yourself is to accept
where you are, because again, what's the alternative living in
a non reality, pretending like this isn't what it is,
and then we learn to live in again self rejection.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I think one of the beautiful things that comes along
with self acceptance is just a peace and you're able
to just be present because you're not worried about all
of these other things, and then that gives you the
opportunity to connect with those that are around you for
the holidays and actually enjoy the food and enjoy the
(04:49):
experience that has been created, whether you're the one that's
cooking for everybody and you actually get to sit down
and enjoy it too, or you've been invited into somebody
else's home and it's your grandmother's cooking or your mom's,
your dad's, you know. In the theme song for Outweigh,
Brittany Spencer and I wrote that song together, and you know,
(05:09):
some people may skip through, but if you listen to
the very beginning of the episode, there's a little Outweigh
theme song and Britney sings missing out on family meals
around the table because what grandma made is bad, so
we're not able. And I think when you give yourself
permission to enjoy the holidays and you have accepted where
(05:31):
you are, you give yourself the gift of enjoying what
grandma made because you are able, you can have it
if that is what you want. This is your permission. Slip.
Like if I were a doctor and right now I
needed to write a script for you, like I would
be like, enjoy the holidays. Exclamation point. There you go.
(05:52):
That's just your go take that to the pharmacy and
get whatever you need to enjoy. But the beauty of
that is you actually don't even have to go to
a pharmacy. You just have to talk to your brain
and talk to it a lot and remind it that
it is safe and it is okay, and life is
beautiful and life is precious, and it is fleeting, and
you don't want to miss these moments. You don't want
(06:14):
them to pass you by. You don't want another year
to pass. And that's why I was saying, Okay, you
can picture yourself next year and it's going to be exciting,
but I really want you to be able to enjoy
Christmas this year or New Year's this year, whatever's left
of the year. I want you to enjoy it and
not just like fall into the same pattern that you've
been in year after year.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
And I think it's so easy to fall into that
trap of like, oh, I'll accept myself when I do
this or when I reach that, like then I'll be acceptable.
And it's like, no, what if you're acceptable right now,
without the extra hustle, without the productivity, just exactly where
you are, the weight that you're at the relationship status
that you're at, a number of money in your bank
account that you're at right now, acceptable right now. And
(06:58):
I think a lot of people are assuming rejection from
other people because they're rejecting themselves and they think that
like productivity or improving.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Themselves is going to change that.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
But like Amy was just saying, that's a decision that
you can make right now, where you can say no.
It's almost like a getting defiant with yourself. For me,
what it looked like is where I kind of drew
that line in the sand and I said, no, I'm
no longer willing to live in this storyline where there's
something wrong with me. I'm constantly looking for my flaws
because this self rejection is coming from me, and I'm
no longer playing this game like we almost do have
(07:30):
to kind of get defiant and adult ourselves an up
level to this conversation.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
But notice what I didn't say.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I didn't say like, oh, I was able to achieve
my way through that belief or I was a way
to accomplish my way through that belief. No, it was
literally a conversation that I had to have with myself
and a line in the sand and Fortunately I had
good mentors too, and I still do surround myself with
people when I know that I'm falling into those traps.
They helped me hold that mirror up to myself as well.
(07:57):
Because it's an ongoing journey. But this is a gift
that we can get ourselves right now, right now. There
doesn't have to be like you said, Amy, just gave
you this permission slip, because it really is that simple.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
You can say no again.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
There's certain things that I want to improve and I
want to, you know, work on. But in the meantime,
I accept where I am, who I am, and I
honor the journey that got me here because the version
of me that I needed to become maybe she had
to go through those that stuff and in a way
I'll never know because it already happened, right but either way,
like I'm choosing to become a more resilient version of
myself in the face of all my adversity, and I
(08:30):
accept who I am right now, and that's the power
that we can cultivate today.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It makes me think of other lyrics and the song
and even the title Outweigh and self. It's a life
without disordered eating outweighs everything, and maybe you need to
listen to the song on repeat or listen to it
as you're driving to Christmas meal or Christmas Day or
every day leading up to But it's you know, I
(08:55):
won't let my body out weigh outweigh everything that I
made and that you were made for. That's what it's saying,
Like your life is so precious and you deserve to
be free of this stuff that is weighing you down.
I always felt shackled. That was the best way for
(09:16):
me to describe my life when I was consumed by
my disordered behaviors, Like I was this weight I carried
around with me figuratively obviously, just like just like I
was dragging it behind me, all my eating disorder and
all my drama and everything that I was imposing on
everybody else. Because okay, here's the thing. You may also
(09:40):
think that you're showing up like in your stuff's not
impacting everybody else, like your energy that you're bringing to
the table. But sometimes when you're bringing disordered eating or
eating disorder energy to a party, you're a real downer.
Because I was a party pooper a multiple times, like
I would bring the energy down real quick. So just know,
(10:03):
like who do you want to show up as? And
I think, yeah, that self acceptance of like this is,
this is this situation, this is where I am. And
Leanne you you even touched on this a little bit.
It doesn't mean that this is exactly where you want
to stay. Maybe there are things that you want to
you know, adjust in twenty twenty five. You have the
right to do that from the right mindset, from a
(10:25):
healthy mindset. I remember thinking what I've talked about this
before too, like even in recovery, like the pendulum had
to swing, like I had to go so far the
other direction that I was yep, you know, just I
was like eat whatever I want, Like I'm not going
to do anything kale or lemon or anything that I
was forcing myself. And now I've realized I don't even
(10:47):
really like kale. But then at the end of the day,
I do need to worry about my gut, my microbiome,
Like there are things that I can now make a
very educated decision on when it comes to food. Instead
of making a dramatic decision, I'm making more of an
informed you know, sort of like Leanne you like to say,
the data versus the drama. Now I can approach certain
(11:07):
decisions of like food that I want to partake in
as well. This is data tells me that I know,
if I consume this, it's going to be good for
my liver, or it's gonna be good for my kidneys,
or it's going to be good for my heart. Like
I'm going to feel better after I eat this. I'm
not like just forcing myself to eat it because I'm
trying to quote unquote be healthy and I don't even
(11:28):
understand the reason behind it. Kind of went on a
little you know, rabbit trail there.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
But no, it's good, it's good. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
My point is that you're more important than any of
this other being disorder crap, and I just want to
give you that encouragement.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Well, you said something really important too, Amy that I
want to just kind of reiterate. Is accepting where you
are and who you are does not mean resigning, and
it does not means settling. I think people kind of
fall into that chapel. If I accept myself, am I
just going to have to like stay like this forever?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Does that mean the quitting?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
And It's like no, that's the accepting the data accepting
what is accepting reality with compassion, with grace, with that love,
with that you know, kindness to yourself, but then also
identifying that that's where you know there might be some
areas that you want to up level.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
Yeah, it's a constant evolution, Like even in recovery, I
guess is my point is I am still introducing things
back into my world that I shunned in recovery because
I was like, oh, I don't need to be that way,
that's too extreme. But then also it's like, oh what
that stuff actually is like nutritionally good for me. So
(12:42):
you know, the pendulum levels out, but it's a constant
process where if you are open to growth, then you're
going to continue to evolve, which if you're not evolving,
your death.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Yeah, and that's actually a perfect segue into the last
distinction I wanted to bring up. And then I want
to share a little anecdote from a client of mine.
But there's this idea of you know, during the holidays,
a lot of people actually go in the opposite mode
where it's like this, I have.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
To be like productive and set goals and all of.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
That, and like self improvement is is great, Like there's
nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it outvotes self acceptance
if you've never passed through that or like learned the
skill of self acceptance. So I think a lot of
people confuse self improvement with self acceptance as well. And
that's the distinction that I wanted to share as well,
because again, that comes back to this idea of like, oh,
(13:31):
I'll accept myself when I do this, or when I
create that, or when I achieve that, you know. And
it's interesting because I had a client that this was
an Easter experience for her because that's the time of
the year that all of her family got together.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
That's like their one time of year, and she fully
owned it.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
She's like, every time I went to a family gathering,
I always felt like I had to show people, like
how much I got done, how much I you know.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Did it work, or how much weight I've lost or whatever.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
And in this year, like this past year, she's like,
I'm just going to go in and beat because she
had completely transformed her entire state, her entire self image,
and this year she noticed that the kind of conversations
that she was in people were just like, what's different
about you? Like you're lighter, like you're glowing, you have
more energy.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And it wasn't anything about work, Like.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
She wasn't talking about work, she wasn't talking about productivity,
she wasn't talking.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
About like her workouts.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Like.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
It just shifted the conversation because she had gone through
the process of not always focusing on like hustling hustling
hustling in order to be acceptable to herself. She focused
on the self image side of self acceptance. It didn't
give up on her goals, didn't turn her back or
settle for what she wants, but she wasn't embodying this
kind of like hustle culture that she used to think
that she needed to be acceptable, and it like really
(14:42):
transferred over to when she was around her family as well.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
I love that example. And I know I was giving
food things a minute ago, but that makes me think
of some of my other behaviors that I just kind
of like had, yeah, throw out, but then now get
to come back in and it can be this.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Yeah, it's it's that pendulum.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
It's the pendulum. It's swings it is and you don't
be like I'm roll with it, I'm here for the ride.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yeah, And like even just being like I see you pendulum,
and I accept you like this is just part of it,
like rather than making it wrong or adding drama to it.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Like it's just the pendulum is real.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
But when was the best time to plant a tree?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yesterday?
Speaker 3 (15:23):
Twenty years ago? Oh, twenty years ago. So when's the
second best time to plant a tree.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Nineteen years ago? This is a true question.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Right now, right now?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Man, I just failed that task.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Man, that's no worries. Landa's just an old Chinese proverb.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah, it's just you just wouldn't get it, land but you.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Wouldn't get it. But obviously the point of that is, Yeah,
you could have implemented some of this self acceptance twenty
years ago and that would have been really helpful. But
yeah it's twenty twenty. Who cares do it? Right now?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Amen? Yeah, I'm all about the second time to planetree?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
You know?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
So the first first best time's overrated.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Because I won't let my body outweigh outweigh everything that
I'm made of, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I am strong,
i am free, I know every part of me is beautiful,
and I'm all always out way if you feel to
(16:26):
put your hands in the air, throw some love to
the mirror while y'all there, let's take it one day
at a time because you and I outway, y'all should
get a girl. Y'all should definitely go listen to Brittany
seeing that because that was a very sad version. But
the lyrics. I want y'all to listen to the lyrics
(16:48):
because they're there for a reason and maybe they will
offer you encouragement during this season. So Leanne, where can
people find you.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
If you want to learn more about how to completely
rewire your brain, your nervous system, through your thoughts, your beliefs,
and really heal from your all or nothing disorder? You
can check it out over at stressful seating dot com.
I've feel back the curtain and showing you how I
teach my clients how to do the same.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
Thing, and I am at Radio Amy. You can find
me there and Leanne and I Well, we'll be back
next Saturday if you missed any of the other three episodes.
So this was a four part series on the holidays,
and I think still beneficial. It started before Thanksgiving, but
there's obviously still time to listen, so go back and
(17:29):
listen to the previous three weeks if you are curious
or think it might be helpful. Tools in your toolbox.
That's all without way is just every weekend is a
little extra tool. So all right, talk to you later.
Bye bye
4 Things with Amy Brown News
Host
Amy Brown
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