March 16, 2023 • 32 mins
Kat joins Amy to help her share something that has not been a secret, but that she has kept private so she could heal and take care of her family. She is so grateful for the love and support during this difficult season and hopes that this glimpse into her life will help others going through something similar feel less alone.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, cass up rope a little food for yourself life,
ain't Oh, it's pretty much. It's pretty beautiful than laugh
A little mouth tightening up said he you're kicking with
(00:30):
fouring a happy Thursday, four things Amy here and Kat
is joining me. I'm at Cat's house and her boyfriend
soon to be fiance TVD. We don't know when it
is downstairs cooking smells nice? Can you smell it already? Yeah?
Can you know what is that the I know what
(00:51):
he have COVID codes. I don't have COVID. I know
you don't have COVID. Oh you know I did lose
my smell and my taste because I smell it, right,
I smell it? Okay, I needed to take a better
a better whiff. This is an interesting episode because well,
I could spend the night with you here if I
wanted to, because for the last year has been well
(01:15):
it's been longer than a year, but the last year.
So if you listen to the Bobby Bone Show, this
is something we're talking about today. And it's not sensationalizing
this as anything. What's another word drama? Yes, we're just
is not dramatic. This just is what it is. This
is not a secret, but it has been very private,
(01:38):
and how Ben and I have chose to handle it
has been because our kids are the number one priority,
and that's why for the last year we have had
our home and we've also had an apartment and the
kids stay in the house and we rotate because Ben
and I are getting a divorce, and that's something that
(02:03):
I know people have speculated about online. And I know
over the last two years for sure, or since twenty twenty,
people or I have been very vague about some of
the stuff that I dealt with or have been dealing with.
But I feel like I'm coming out the other side.
Obviously my dad dying, that was something we were able
(02:24):
to talk about, and some stuff we just haven't been
able to talk about, and nor will I and that's
not because that's not what it's about. But this is
me entering a new season of my life where this weekend,
I'm turning forty two, and you know, we have we
have the live coming up, and you know, even in
which at all we hadn't we hadn't announced it yet,
(02:46):
so people didn't know. But I just felt it wasn't
the right time. But when I'm on stage or I'm
connecting with people, And really that's what this conversation is about.
Because my people, my close people, they know there's no
announcement been and I actually couldn't have gotten through this
season without our people, and everybody's been incredibly supportive and
(03:07):
kind on both sides. And my in laws, which I
still I'm seeing them this weekend. I'm going to my
ant Lisa's funeral and they're going to be there, and
I'm taking my son with me just to take him
on a little trip because he doesn't never get to go,
not for the funeral part, but just to have a
mom's son trip to Austin and he'll get time with
(03:27):
his Mama Bee and Papa Bee. And I stayed with them.
I went there for Thanksgiving and stayed with them. And
I've known them since I was a kid. They will
always be in my life and they're my kid's grandparents.
And anyway, our people have been very, very very important
to us during this time. So when I'm saying when
I'm on stage, I want to show up more authentically
(03:50):
as me, or when I'm on the mic or I'm
doing the Bobby Bone Show, being able to bring this
newer version of me to the conversation. It is where
I am, where we are, and I have so much
gratitude for the work that we have put in, all
the healers that have been a part of this, like
(04:12):
all of our therapists, and just the amazing wisdom and
insight that we've gotten. And that's one of the reasons
why during this transition, we opted to leave the kids
in a home and we were in an amicable situation
where we could do that. I recognize that not everybody
has that, and you have to do what is best
(04:33):
for you depending on your situation, but we were able
to set it up this way, and that's not always
going to be how it is. But I'm here tonight
at Cat's house because it's my night to be at
an apartment. And I rolled up to Cats to do
some work and just hang out. And I'm like, I
got my bags in the car, I got all my stuff,
I got my coffee. I dig everything. Now, I say, here,
(04:56):
you have your coffee and your berth, my four things.
Don't I could spend the night. Yeah, so that I
don't know, that's just it. I don't I know that,
you know, I think of younger me and when I
first got married, and I got married the same year
(05:17):
I joined the Bobby Bone Show, and I was young
and naive and all about marriage, you know what I mean.
And divorce is not an option, and I come from
a divorced home and I just never thought that would
be me and been the same. Neither one of us
saw this coming, and it's not one person's thing. There's
(05:38):
several things that have unfolded, and it just we did
the work, and we did lots of couples therapy, co
parenting therapy, all the things, and this is ultimately where
we've landed and we're both doing okay and the kids
are okay. And my younger self would have I probably
(06:00):
been mortified by this type of announcement, but I don't
feel shame, and I feel secure in my decision. I
feel more secure in who I am than I ever
have and that's what's most important to me. Well, that
and that my kids are okay, and any buddy's thoughts
(06:24):
or opinions about this that don't necessarily align with that
are none of my business. Oh I like that. I
was going to ask, is there anything that you want
to ask of the people listening or people that even
listen to the Bobby Bones Show. Is there anything you
want or follow you on Instagram or is there anything
you want to ask of people. I've got a post
(06:45):
up that is on Instagram as of today that I've
been working on because I didn't quite know how to
do it. And this is not something guys, this has
been in I think that's why you, Yeah, this is
not well because I don't want people to think like,
oh oh, I just feel like announcement sometimes and everybody
(07:05):
is different. There's not a right way or a wrong way.
It's only right or wrong for you. And some ways
that I've seen it done for other people that that
was their right way, great, but that is not my
right way. Our way was very slow, processing private and
(07:26):
for a long time. And some people have their private
stuff and it's private for however long they needed to be,
but ours was long. This has been a very very
up I mean coming up soon. It'll be like almost
two years in a nutshell and gosh, yeah, that's because
my fortieth birthday that's when some yeah, yeah, about two years.
(07:49):
So here we are, forty two, feeling new, forty two
feeling new, not very blue. I mean, it's been blue.
There's been some blue times. Won't want I mean, obviously
there's been sad times, because divorce is not a happy thing.
But I think what you're saying is there's not this
like crazy dramatic story that everybody needs to be waiting
(08:12):
on their toes. Like you're just sharing an update in
your life and you've done it the way that it
works for you, and you want people now to be
able to hear the real life in time, in real
time stuff that you're doing, Like you're bringing your bag
of coffee to my house and so in my milk,
in your milk milk, I have all my things, and yeah,
(08:34):
so you can share more openly. Yeah, I feel like
you're ready to do that. I'm a little nomad at times,
and that's when Ben has his time with the kids,
and then well then I've got my times at the house,
and then he feels like a nomad and we're just
we're sort of too a point soon where we're kind
of ready to be done with packing the bags all
(08:55):
the time. And what the bummer part of that is
is that then then it's on the kids. And see,
I come from a divorced home, but I lived with
my mom full time. My dad just got a girlfriend,
well he left my mom for a girl different anyway,
but they were together and he pretty much left town
with her to try to minimize the blowback from that,
(09:17):
and so they moved to West Texas, and so I
did not see him that much, although he was a
very he was. I don't know if I have like
a distorted memory or unprotective of my dad, because whenever
I lay it out, it's like he really was not
that involved. But then I like to say immediately, but
he was a good dad and he was involved, but
(09:38):
let's be honest, he really wasn't. Like something about me
wants to protect him because he was such a good person,
good person, bad at connection, which I have been there myself,
and my connection hasn't always been great, probably from some
of my connection with both of my parents. And you
(10:00):
can be a good person and bad at things, just
like you and Ben can be good people and not
be married anymore. Right, Yes, okay, so this takes me
back to my younger self too. Is the shame part?
Like I really for anybody right now, if you have
any thoughts of judgment towards us, what we're doing or
I've tried to, like pregame. What could someone say, Oh,
(10:23):
you adopted kids five years ago, and now are you
so y'all brought him them in here and now look
at you? And so again that that type of comment
is none of my business, but I think younger me
would have carried some judgment, even though I would have
loved to have said, I'm I'm not judging, But I
just really didn't want because I was so I didn't
(10:46):
want divorce for myself that like I also didn't want
it for anybody else, and so I just kept thinking,
that's not an option, and if you do that, then
you're giving up, and it's that's just not the case.
And with age comes experience and wisdom and knowledge, and
now I know, I'm so thankful that at forty two,
(11:07):
I no longer think the way I did at twenty four.
I'm very different. I've evolved as we should be, like
we're If you're not evolving, you're dying dead, dead dead.
So and Ben would say the same thing too. I mean,
he's done a tremendous amount of work and is evolving
(11:29):
and is an amazing dad. And our kids are our
priority and we're doing the best that we can. And
I love that I'm at a time in my life
where I am free of judgment and I am free
of shame for myself and for other people. There's just
no space for that. And you just have to know
that people are making the best decision for themselves, you know, Oprah,
(11:53):
I think I said, I keep thinking of it as
you're talking. I pulled up Instagram the other day and
it's Oprah in my face on some reel that someone
had reposted. Don't even know who or what, and she
was saying, I'm in a paraphrase, but she said, if
you're mad at someone because they're not doing what you
(12:15):
think they should be doing, that's your problem, not theirs.
Not theirs, so anyone's way for them. If anybody is
mad at me because I'm not doing what you and
I should be doing, like, that's not my problem, that's
actually your problem. And I can say that with love
(12:36):
and I can have compassion for that because I feel
as though when I think back to twenty four year
old me, that's who I'm sort of talking to, It's like, oh,
you had no place, because I remember in my twenties
some of my friends going through divorces and they had
only been married one or two years. And I'm reading,
but I have no idea what they were experiencing behind
(12:58):
closed doors at all, whatsoever. And that's the thing. You
can think you know about someone's life or their relationship
or what is happening, and at the end of the day,
you have no idea what it is that the Real World?
Did you ever watch slogan? You think you is it?
You think you know, but you have no idea. You
have no idea. Yeah, you think you know who whatever
(13:18):
who you're living that. I don't remember the slogan, But
we should have Lunchbox. That's his favorite show, The Real World. Yeah,
it's like that was a good show because if he
could go back and do anything, he would do Real World. Yeah,
would you do that? Where's that He missed a call
from them because he auditioned, And it's like his one
regret in life was not being home that day when
(13:39):
they called. Yeah, I think his life probably turned out
better than for him not being on it. I don't
know he would probably, But I like what you're saying,
because something can be right for you and wrong for me,
and something can be right for me and wrong for you.
That's one part of that other thing is I know
you pretty well, there still can be things that I
cannot know because I'm not in your relationship. And when
(14:02):
you said like, I would have thought, like, oh, you're
giving up and all of that. What came to my
mind is giving up on what? Because anytime we make
a change in our lives, we're losing something. And anytime
we're like staying in something, there might be something else
we're losing we're missing out on. So giving up on
what I could be giving up on myself by forcing
(14:24):
myself to stay in something that's not right for me,
I could be giving up on a million different things.
So who's to say that the marriage or this thing
or that thing or whatever it is is the right
thing that somebody should be forced to not give up on.
And we don't know what all those things are of
in other people's lives. If you're sitting here thinking that
(14:44):
you know, and I'm not even saying it's about me,
about anybody, anybody, like anybody, your best friend, your sister, like,
there's only two people that really know the story. And
then even the two people that are inside that story,
they both had their own versions, So there's a lot
to unpack there about how you know, I just want
(15:05):
everybody to be happy and headed towards living the life
that's true for all. Yes, a full and beautiful life
with which that's going to be the theme of our
live And another thing too is yeah again at the life,
Like there's so much I want to share and say,
and it's hard to do without people knowing the truth.
And we're ready for it. And Ben knows that this
(15:28):
announcement is happening today as well on the show and here,
on the podcast and on Instagram, so he signed off
on it. And who knows, one day Ben and I
might sit down and talk about some of the things
way down the line and just trying to figure out
how we can serve others in this way, because I
never thought that this would be my story and again
(15:50):
he didn't either, But now we have a different we
have a different way we can come alongside people and
parents too. And I think that some of the ways
we've gone about the co parenting, gosh, I'm proud of us,
Like I don't know how else to say it. Very mature,
very considerate, very And it's not to say the divorce
(16:12):
is hard. I was going to say, even when it
was hard, you still had I feel like your kids
at the center of everything. Yes, and the kids are okay.
The kids are good, and that was my biggest fear.
And like you know, you mentioning gaining or losing or whatever,
we would have lost ourselves if we were to stay
(16:33):
just because of them, and wondering if we were to
get a divorce that if, when is that better for
the kids to be seen that According to every expert
that I've met with on this, no, no, yeah, we
can do this right and the kids can still be okay.
And I think that's really cool for them to be
able to see. I feel like, yes, they're getting to
(16:56):
see a side of mom and a side of Dad
that they otherwise would have never known because we wouldn't
have done the work to heal in the way that
we have. And you know, we're going to transition into
our new plan, which we're doing. I'll just share this
real quick in case anybody else is in a similar situation,
because this is all new lingo to me, And by
(17:16):
new I mean in the last two years, not new
like yesterday. But we've been working like for the state
of Tennessee, like you have to take a co parenting
course and you're graded on it. Yeah, if you're married
in the state of Tennessee and have kids, the divorce
process they make you go through. What happens if you don't, well,
(17:36):
I don't know if the judge will sign off on
the divorce or on the doorse Wow, yeah, you need
a plan. You need a plan. And I learned a
lot through that too. But anyway, and then we met
through our lawyers, they hooked us up with a co
parenting counselor and we met with her, and honestly, again,
I'm proud of us, but she was like, okay, like
(17:58):
I'm really good at my job and I'm kind of
sitting here wondering what I can even do for y'all
because you seem to be in such a good place.
And that was exciting to hear because she but fortunately
she made it seem like that is just not normally.
She has her work cut out for her, and I
was like, oh, I couldn't imagine. Adding again, divorce is
(18:18):
hard and so stressful, and there's so many other things
going on too that are stressful. Potentially depending on the
season of life that you're in. But for us we
had multiple things just like it was like, well, oh
like that, you know, like a knocked your back down,
and so we stuck with it though, And I feel
(18:40):
like that's why I say this is my rainbow year.
I feel as though I've weathered some storms and there
will be more storms and I'm going to need my umbrella.
But I'm just not going to hold so tight to
my umbrella to where I miss the rainbows. You know
what I mean. I love the fold tie to your umbrella.
Who was I'm just trying to tell you do some
(19:00):
like her? That's yeah. I was gonna say it's Kasey
just because it sounds like a song she would sing,
but it is her song. If I just saw that,
if I heard that faintly randomly walking by when there's
other noise going on, I might think it was Casey
must grapes. Well, if you're coming too the live, we
have a treat for you. It's not Casey, but it's me.
(19:22):
There's a plan. Well, you know, our musical guest is
Britney Spencer, but we're working on a little something. Um baby,
I'm just trying to tell you that there's always there
a rainbow casey in over your head, just like we
don't have headphones in right now, you cannot. We're just
talking into Mike's. But I have a few other thoughts
(19:44):
before we I don't know, I thought I would do
four things this episode, but I'm feeling like you and
I'll just be this, this is the thing, and then
we're kind of going to be done. But I where
were my thoughts? Let me think maybe this is a
good spot to your from sponsors, and then I'll pick
back up with the rest of my thoughts on the
other side. Okay, so with my rainbow year, we've weathered
(20:19):
a lot of storms. Oh the co parenting coach, she
was very impressed with us, and I, like I said,
I it's okay to be proud of Yes, I am
proud of myself. I'm proud of Ben. And there are
times where again because it's just so stink and hard,
that we sort of have to step back and be like, oh, okay,
I'm gonna take a breather on this, or because there's
(20:41):
so many things like meeting with lawyers, it's daunting. I'm
having to take ownership and agency in certain areas of
my life that I never I haven't had to deal
with in sixteen seventeen years because I just handed them over.
And that's something we'll get into it. The live isn't
knowing your worth, and now that I am taking agency
(21:01):
over certain things, I feel my worth more. I'm like, oh,
I'm empowered, and that's not Ben's fault, that's actually mine.
I handed the reins over and those were my keys.
And it's okay to have a partnership where someone if
that's their strength, they could go ahead and do that.
But I think you should always have a foot in
the door on certain stuff just so that you know
(21:25):
what's going on. And again I'm empowered by that. So
all this is say, it's been very, very hard, but
the kids are good and we're about to transition into
the season of where we won't go from house to
apartment anymore. The kids will now go from my home
to his home, and we're opting to do This is
what I was going to say for people that might
be in similar shoes. Just took me a minute to
(21:46):
get there. Is that we're doing friday to friday, one
week on, one week off, and multiple experts that we
met with say that that is a plan that seems
to work well for kids, for anybody somebody else listening,
that might not work for you. You might want to
do some of the other numbers that are out there.
I don't know two to five. There's all these options.
(22:06):
But we did so much research and talked to so
many people, and we were going to do Sunday to Sunday.
And then I went out with a friend, just went
and met up with her for like an hour to
do a quick talk. And it was literally the day
we were talking about the days and someone had suggested
Friday to Friday in the meeting and I was like, no,
that sounds no, Sunday to Sunday, that's that makes sense,
(22:29):
and yeah, pooh pooed the Friday to Friday. And then
when I met that friend, she had just gone through
divorce last year, and she said, well, do you know
y'all's days yet? Because we started out doing Sunday to
Sunday and then we moved Friday to Friday, and it's
a game changer. And I was like, oh no, So
I like, get on my phone's in an email and
I'm like, we might want to look on the Friday
(22:50):
to Friday. Sorry that I you know, different shut that down. Well,
she was explaining that like on a Sunday, no matter
how you spin it. First of all, when it comes
to the kids transitioning homes on a Sunday afternoon to
where they have to go into school on Monday and
have a whole week ahead of them, and then their
(23:10):
weekend with the parent is the weekend after school and
they're all together, right, okay, so just look at how
that week flows. You're like, okay, what's the big deal?
What about when you hear it this way Friday to Friday,
is you arrive at the next parents house on Friday
fresh fresh, and the parent is fresh because they're there,
(23:35):
and then they also have the weekend to transition because
in the beginning still and there's lots of feelings and
things unpacking, and you get to just have a chill weekend,
a fun weekend, a relaxing wee can have friends over,
they get to kind of be themselves, to get acclimated,
and then they go into the school week, and then
on Friday then they go do the next thing. And
so it's better to me because Sunday is already such
(23:56):
a day of preparing that it's like a whole other
on top to prepare for Yes, that's what I was. Also,
if you have forgotten something and it's Sunday and then
you go to school on Monday, it's like, oh, shoot,
well we gotta go figure out da da da. But
if it's Friday, you have Friday night, Saturday Sunday to
figure out, Oh, do we have everything we need for school?
Do we forget anything? What do we need? And Ben
(24:18):
and I are trying to be as hands on as
possible with all their stuff so that they're not having
to worry about it, Like we're trying to make sure
we got doubles of this and that, and there's not
this drastic which I get some people may not be
financially in a place to do all of that. But
how can you be more hands on with your kid
to help pack or make sure they've got it, or
(24:38):
let them go ahead and go on ahead and you
drop it off later, or the spouse comes and picks
it up, or how can you work in that way?
But Friday to Friday also, that was for the kids,
but for the parents you have a full weekend too.
So like say if you we went to New York
for your birthday, or something and we left on Friday,
Well I'd have to be back on Sunday at two
pm no matter why. Oh you know might be so
(25:01):
now it's like, as the adult, if it's Friday to Friday,
you have more time to plan things. And again that's
not what divorce is about. It's not like, oh, look
I've got all this time, but if you're looking to
divide it up. That was her case for Friday to Friday.
And then so in our next meeting, we talked about
(25:22):
it and that's what we voted, and we voted Friday
to Friday and so but again we haven't done that yet.
So I'm speaking as someone that like, I'm just taking
an information and this we're going to try. I might
come on here in the month and be like, Friday
to Friday is the worst decision we've ever made, and
actually week to week is the worst decision ever, and
we're doing every other day like I don't know, that's
probably not gonna happen. That would be exhausting for everybody involved.
(25:46):
But just if you were in a similar situation, hugs,
like virtual podcast hugs to you right now. I know
it's not easy, but you will get through. It and
ask yourself, what does this make possible? Help that shout
out Donald Miller, or what big thing is this teaching
me right now? Or how can I grow from this?
(26:07):
Don't waste it. That's my encouragement, and I have to
tell myself that all the time. Do not waste this,
do not waste this. How can you how can we grow?
How can we stretch? How can this make you a
better mom? How can this make you a better friend? Sister?
I mean, gosh, speaking of support, my sister has been
an amazing support. And my sister and her husband are
(26:28):
literally how I met my husband. I mean I met
him as a kid, but they were best friends with
him and are they're still close with him. And like
we went to Pagosa for Christmas. Everybody was there, his family,
my family were because everybody's we've all gone to Pagosa
for years and years and years and that's not going
to change. So if he starts dating somebody or gets married, like, well,
(26:49):
see you on the slopes, like I will be there,
or I'll see you at my sister's coffee shop. Sorry,
like I don't know what you know. Or if I
start dating some ben might be like all right sea
the slopes, which feel bad for I mean, my Ben's
a good Ben's a good skier, are you? I'm okay,
(27:09):
but he's at least you can do it. He can
if I was taking someone that didn't know skiing and
like we went and did that, and then been like
it would be kind of embarra past. Yeah. I mean
surely whoever if I date, they're going to be confident
and they're not going to care like, oh I got
to learn how to ski before see him out on
the slopes. Don't because Ben's really good. Oh one more thing,
(27:33):
the Instagram post I never got back to that. I
was talking about how other people do it, how I
chose to do it, and I wrote something been approved
it too, and I did like a carousel you taught me.
It's called a carousel and it's no no photos, no picture,
no no smiling faces of like look at us, but
(27:54):
we're all happy and because not every day is happy,
it's just not. So you can go to at rate
you Amy and read that and kind of what we
put it, if you even care or want to, and
then if you choose to comment. One of my friends
was like, are you going to turn the comments off.
I think I asked you that it was. I think
Ali did too, and No. I decided not to because
(28:17):
I want to leave space for other people that might
be going through this to see all the encouragement because
I know it's going to be there and the support vibes.
There's nothing I can do about the low vibes that
want to enter that space. But if I turn off
the comments, I feel as though I'm taking away an
opportunity for somebody else to see. Oh wow, if I
(28:38):
were to make a really hard announcement, maybe it's not divorced.
If I were to do this really hard thing, I
may not be judged as terribly as I think I'm
going to be. Well, I think that the people that
want to have low vibes, if they want to do it,
they're going to do it, So turn it off the
comments might not make that go away, but it will
take away the ability for somebody who see the encouragement.
(28:58):
So yeah, I mean, if I is Hayley Bieber or something,
I might have to turn my comments off. She did
have to turn her comments off, but I'm not just
you know, radio and my Instagram's pretty much a snail
account now anyways, because I am obsessed with this is
going to interrupt the content that you've been putting out
about the snails that stuffs legit. I have it on
(29:21):
my face right now, which I made a snail highlight
because too many people were asking and I was like,
I can't keep posting about this all the time. So
here's a highlight and all the information that I've shared
and the things are here. But what's fun is I
might be doing something with them for my birthday where
people will get like twenty percent off, which is a
(29:42):
lot of some snails because it's it's kind of pricey.
But if it's it's a ten day face treatment, so
ten days, how often are you doing it? Well, the
ten day treatment ten days, and then you can do
one vial once a week for maintenance however long. But
you don't have to. You could do it every two
week if you wanted to. But like my friend Amy
(30:03):
different Amy than me, lash Amy, my friend tell a
story about yourself. My friend Amy says five stars. She says,
get it out, no um, which I didn't even know
this company at all, but I had tagged them one time.
But honestly, they saw the sales, the day that I
post about it, which I I only decided to post
(30:26):
about it because I couldn't believe my skin and that
and some people had been asking about it in person,
and so I was like, well, I don't know, maybe
y'all I love to know about this stuff, so I'll
just share it. And they said yes, they were very
thankful for that day, and so that's why we might
do something. I've never done a code before for something,
and never done a code I thought I can think
(30:48):
of not just a big deal. I never done a code,
but the code is for like again, I said, if
I'm going to post something like I wanna, if y'all
want to do something like that, let's give them twenty
percent off. So anyway, that's coming in the near future.
But I just it's tooting. Yeah. Well, I was thinking,
I really am like a snail account that that's the
only thing people want to talk to me about. That's
(31:10):
why I joke I'm a snail account now because I
could post something really that I think is awesome and
not get any engagement. You post about snail secretion on
your face and people blow you up. Yeah, well, because
it seems like a hot take, I'm not. I'm not
at the point where I want to put that on
my face. Yeah, I know, I'm gonna hold you down
(31:31):
and put it on. I'm gonna be like, you're putting
this snail secretion on your face because you're gonna see
what I'm talking about. It's gay. Is there anything else
you want to say before? Yeah? I just the one
thing that just came to mind is take agency over
your life. Oh, that's it. That's what it just came
to my head. I saw all this to say, take
agency over your life. You're the only one in control
(31:52):
over you. Oh. I like that. Like, allow yourself to
take agency over your life. That's a good way to
wrap everything you set up and support your people, support yourself,
be kind to yourself whatever you're going through. I just
be gentle, hold yourself, nurture yourself, which is what I
gotta go do. Have the day you need to have,
(32:13):
the day you need to have. I'm at Radio Amy
Radioamey dot com for more links in details. I also
have a link tree in my Instagram. Now high tech
over agency over my life, over your Instagram. That's right.
And Kat, you are at Kat dot defata and you
can also follow at you need Therapy podcast, which is
(32:33):
my other podcast. This is not my podcast, but that's
my podcast, which is really good. You check it out
five stars, rate and review, like, and subscribe. Bye by
Okay, cass up rope a little food for yourself life,
ain't Oh, it's pretty much. It's pretty beautiful than laugh
A little mouth tightening up said he you're kicking with
(00:30):
fouring a happy Thursday, four things Amy here and Kat
is joining me. I'm at Cat's house and her boyfriend
soon to be fiance TVD. We don't know when it
is downstairs cooking smells nice? Can you smell it already? Yeah?
Can you know what is that the I know what
(00:51):
he have COVID codes. I don't have COVID. I know
you don't have COVID. Oh you know I did lose
my smell and my taste because I smell it, right,
I smell it? Okay, I needed to take a better
a better whiff. This is an interesting episode because well,
I could spend the night with you here if I
wanted to, because for the last year has been well
(01:15):
it's been longer than a year, but the last year.
So if you listen to the Bobby Bone Show, this
is something we're talking about today. And it's not sensationalizing
this as anything. What's another word drama? Yes, we're just
is not dramatic. This just is what it is. This
is not a secret, but it has been very private,
(01:38):
and how Ben and I have chose to handle it
has been because our kids are the number one priority,
and that's why for the last year we have had
our home and we've also had an apartment and the
kids stay in the house and we rotate because Ben
and I are getting a divorce, and that's something that
(02:03):
I know people have speculated about online. And I know
over the last two years for sure, or since twenty twenty,
people or I have been very vague about some of
the stuff that I dealt with or have been dealing with.
But I feel like I'm coming out the other side.
Obviously my dad dying, that was something we were able
(02:24):
to talk about, and some stuff we just haven't been
able to talk about, and nor will I and that's
not because that's not what it's about. But this is
me entering a new season of my life where this weekend,
I'm turning forty two, and you know, we have we
have the live coming up, and you know, even in
which at all we hadn't we hadn't announced it yet,
(02:46):
so people didn't know. But I just felt it wasn't
the right time. But when I'm on stage or I'm
connecting with people, And really that's what this conversation is about.
Because my people, my close people, they know there's no
announcement been and I actually couldn't have gotten through this
season without our people, and everybody's been incredibly supportive and
(03:07):
kind on both sides. And my in laws, which I
still I'm seeing them this weekend. I'm going to my
ant Lisa's funeral and they're going to be there, and
I'm taking my son with me just to take him
on a little trip because he doesn't never get to go,
not for the funeral part, but just to have a
mom's son trip to Austin and he'll get time with
(03:27):
his Mama Bee and Papa Bee. And I stayed with them.
I went there for Thanksgiving and stayed with them. And
I've known them since I was a kid. They will
always be in my life and they're my kid's grandparents.
And anyway, our people have been very, very very important
to us during this time. So when I'm saying when
I'm on stage, I want to show up more authentically
(03:50):
as me, or when I'm on the mic or I'm
doing the Bobby Bone Show, being able to bring this
newer version of me to the conversation. It is where
I am, where we are, and I have so much
gratitude for the work that we have put in, all
the healers that have been a part of this, like
(04:12):
all of our therapists, and just the amazing wisdom and
insight that we've gotten. And that's one of the reasons
why during this transition, we opted to leave the kids
in a home and we were in an amicable situation
where we could do that. I recognize that not everybody
has that, and you have to do what is best
(04:33):
for you depending on your situation, but we were able
to set it up this way, and that's not always
going to be how it is. But I'm here tonight
at Cat's house because it's my night to be at
an apartment. And I rolled up to Cats to do
some work and just hang out. And I'm like, I
got my bags in the car, I got all my stuff,
I got my coffee. I dig everything. Now, I say, here,
(04:56):
you have your coffee and your berth, my four things.
Don't I could spend the night. Yeah, so that I
don't know, that's just it. I don't I know that,
you know, I think of younger me and when I
first got married, and I got married the same year
(05:17):
I joined the Bobby Bone Show, and I was young
and naive and all about marriage, you know what I mean.
And divorce is not an option, and I come from
a divorced home and I just never thought that would
be me and been the same. Neither one of us
saw this coming, and it's not one person's thing. There's
(05:38):
several things that have unfolded, and it just we did
the work, and we did lots of couples therapy, co
parenting therapy, all the things, and this is ultimately where
we've landed and we're both doing okay and the kids
are okay. And my younger self would have I probably
(06:00):
been mortified by this type of announcement, but I don't
feel shame, and I feel secure in my decision. I
feel more secure in who I am than I ever
have and that's what's most important to me. Well, that
and that my kids are okay, and any buddy's thoughts
(06:24):
or opinions about this that don't necessarily align with that
are none of my business. Oh I like that. I
was going to ask, is there anything that you want
to ask of the people listening or people that even
listen to the Bobby Bones Show. Is there anything you
want or follow you on Instagram or is there anything
you want to ask of people. I've got a post
(06:45):
up that is on Instagram as of today that I've
been working on because I didn't quite know how to
do it. And this is not something guys, this has
been in I think that's why you, Yeah, this is
not well because I don't want people to think like,
oh oh, I just feel like announcement sometimes and everybody
(07:05):
is different. There's not a right way or a wrong way.
It's only right or wrong for you. And some ways
that I've seen it done for other people that that
was their right way, great, but that is not my
right way. Our way was very slow, processing private and
(07:26):
for a long time. And some people have their private
stuff and it's private for however long they needed to be,
but ours was long. This has been a very very
up I mean coming up soon. It'll be like almost
two years in a nutshell and gosh, yeah, that's because
my fortieth birthday that's when some yeah, yeah, about two years.
(07:49):
So here we are, forty two, feeling new, forty two
feeling new, not very blue. I mean, it's been blue.
There's been some blue times. Won't want I mean, obviously
there's been sad times, because divorce is not a happy thing.
But I think what you're saying is there's not this
like crazy dramatic story that everybody needs to be waiting
(08:12):
on their toes. Like you're just sharing an update in
your life and you've done it the way that it
works for you, and you want people now to be
able to hear the real life in time, in real
time stuff that you're doing, Like you're bringing your bag
of coffee to my house and so in my milk,
in your milk milk, I have all my things, and yeah,
(08:34):
so you can share more openly. Yeah, I feel like
you're ready to do that. I'm a little nomad at times,
and that's when Ben has his time with the kids,
and then well then I've got my times at the house,
and then he feels like a nomad and we're just
we're sort of too a point soon where we're kind
of ready to be done with packing the bags all
(08:55):
the time. And what the bummer part of that is
is that then then it's on the kids. And see,
I come from a divorced home, but I lived with
my mom full time. My dad just got a girlfriend,
well he left my mom for a girl different anyway,
but they were together and he pretty much left town
with her to try to minimize the blowback from that,
(09:17):
and so they moved to West Texas, and so I
did not see him that much, although he was a
very he was. I don't know if I have like
a distorted memory or unprotective of my dad, because whenever
I lay it out, it's like he really was not
that involved. But then I like to say immediately, but
he was a good dad and he was involved, but
(09:38):
let's be honest, he really wasn't. Like something about me
wants to protect him because he was such a good person,
good person, bad at connection, which I have been there myself,
and my connection hasn't always been great, probably from some
of my connection with both of my parents. And you
(10:00):
can be a good person and bad at things, just
like you and Ben can be good people and not
be married anymore. Right, Yes, okay, so this takes me
back to my younger self too. Is the shame part?
Like I really for anybody right now, if you have
any thoughts of judgment towards us, what we're doing or
I've tried to, like pregame. What could someone say, Oh,
(10:23):
you adopted kids five years ago, and now are you
so y'all brought him them in here and now look
at you? And so again that that type of comment
is none of my business, but I think younger me
would have carried some judgment, even though I would have
loved to have said, I'm I'm not judging, But I
just really didn't want because I was so I didn't
(10:46):
want divorce for myself that like I also didn't want
it for anybody else, and so I just kept thinking,
that's not an option, and if you do that, then
you're giving up, and it's that's just not the case.
And with age comes experience and wisdom and knowledge, and
now I know, I'm so thankful that at forty two,
(11:07):
I no longer think the way I did at twenty four.
I'm very different. I've evolved as we should be, like
we're If you're not evolving, you're dying dead, dead dead.
So and Ben would say the same thing too. I mean,
he's done a tremendous amount of work and is evolving
(11:29):
and is an amazing dad. And our kids are our
priority and we're doing the best that we can. And
I love that I'm at a time in my life
where I am free of judgment and I am free
of shame for myself and for other people. There's just
no space for that. And you just have to know
that people are making the best decision for themselves, you know, Oprah,
(11:53):
I think I said, I keep thinking of it as
you're talking. I pulled up Instagram the other day and
it's Oprah in my face on some reel that someone
had reposted. Don't even know who or what, and she
was saying, I'm in a paraphrase, but she said, if
you're mad at someone because they're not doing what you
(12:15):
think they should be doing, that's your problem, not theirs.
Not theirs, so anyone's way for them. If anybody is
mad at me because I'm not doing what you and
I should be doing, like, that's not my problem, that's
actually your problem. And I can say that with love
(12:36):
and I can have compassion for that because I feel
as though when I think back to twenty four year
old me, that's who I'm sort of talking to, It's like, oh,
you had no place, because I remember in my twenties
some of my friends going through divorces and they had
only been married one or two years. And I'm reading,
but I have no idea what they were experiencing behind
(12:58):
closed doors at all, whatsoever. And that's the thing. You
can think you know about someone's life or their relationship
or what is happening, and at the end of the day,
you have no idea what it is that the Real World?
Did you ever watch slogan? You think you is it?
You think you know, but you have no idea. You
have no idea. Yeah, you think you know who whatever
(13:18):
who you're living that. I don't remember the slogan, But
we should have Lunchbox. That's his favorite show, The Real World. Yeah,
it's like that was a good show because if he
could go back and do anything, he would do Real World. Yeah,
would you do that? Where's that He missed a call
from them because he auditioned, And it's like his one
regret in life was not being home that day when
(13:39):
they called. Yeah, I think his life probably turned out
better than for him not being on it. I don't
know he would probably, But I like what you're saying,
because something can be right for you and wrong for me,
and something can be right for me and wrong for you.
That's one part of that other thing is I know
you pretty well, there still can be things that I
cannot know because I'm not in your relationship. And when
(14:02):
you said like, I would have thought, like, oh, you're
giving up and all of that. What came to my
mind is giving up on what? Because anytime we make
a change in our lives, we're losing something. And anytime
we're like staying in something, there might be something else
we're losing we're missing out on. So giving up on
what I could be giving up on myself by forcing
(14:24):
myself to stay in something that's not right for me,
I could be giving up on a million different things.
So who's to say that the marriage or this thing
or that thing or whatever it is is the right
thing that somebody should be forced to not give up on.
And we don't know what all those things are of
in other people's lives. If you're sitting here thinking that
(14:44):
you know, and I'm not even saying it's about me,
about anybody, anybody, like anybody, your best friend, your sister, like,
there's only two people that really know the story. And
then even the two people that are inside that story,
they both had their own versions, So there's a lot
to unpack there about how you know, I just want
(15:05):
everybody to be happy and headed towards living the life
that's true for all. Yes, a full and beautiful life
with which that's going to be the theme of our
live And another thing too is yeah again at the life,
Like there's so much I want to share and say,
and it's hard to do without people knowing the truth.
And we're ready for it. And Ben knows that this
(15:28):
announcement is happening today as well on the show and here,
on the podcast and on Instagram, so he signed off
on it. And who knows, one day Ben and I
might sit down and talk about some of the things
way down the line and just trying to figure out
how we can serve others in this way, because I
never thought that this would be my story and again
(15:50):
he didn't either, But now we have a different we
have a different way we can come alongside people and
parents too. And I think that some of the ways
we've gone about the co parenting, gosh, I'm proud of us,
Like I don't know how else to say it. Very mature,
very considerate, very And it's not to say the divorce
(16:12):
is hard. I was going to say, even when it
was hard, you still had I feel like your kids
at the center of everything. Yes, and the kids are okay.
The kids are good, and that was my biggest fear.
And like you know, you mentioning gaining or losing or whatever,
we would have lost ourselves if we were to stay
(16:33):
just because of them, and wondering if we were to
get a divorce that if, when is that better for
the kids to be seen that According to every expert
that I've met with on this, no, no, yeah, we
can do this right and the kids can still be okay.
And I think that's really cool for them to be
able to see. I feel like, yes, they're getting to
(16:56):
see a side of mom and a side of Dad
that they otherwise would have never known because we wouldn't
have done the work to heal in the way that
we have. And you know, we're going to transition into
our new plan, which we're doing. I'll just share this
real quick in case anybody else is in a similar situation,
because this is all new lingo to me, And by
(17:16):
new I mean in the last two years, not new
like yesterday. But we've been working like for the state
of Tennessee, like you have to take a co parenting
course and you're graded on it. Yeah, if you're married
in the state of Tennessee and have kids, the divorce
process they make you go through. What happens if you don't, well,
(17:36):
I don't know if the judge will sign off on
the divorce or on the doorse Wow, yeah, you need
a plan. You need a plan. And I learned a
lot through that too. But anyway, and then we met
through our lawyers, they hooked us up with a co
parenting counselor and we met with her, and honestly, again,
I'm proud of us, but she was like, okay, like
(17:58):
I'm really good at my job and I'm kind of
sitting here wondering what I can even do for y'all
because you seem to be in such a good place.
And that was exciting to hear because she but fortunately
she made it seem like that is just not normally.
She has her work cut out for her, and I
was like, oh, I couldn't imagine. Adding again, divorce is
(18:18):
hard and so stressful, and there's so many other things
going on too that are stressful. Potentially depending on the
season of life that you're in. But for us we
had multiple things just like it was like, well, oh
like that, you know, like a knocked your back down,
and so we stuck with it though, And I feel
(18:40):
like that's why I say this is my rainbow year.
I feel as though I've weathered some storms and there
will be more storms and I'm going to need my umbrella.
But I'm just not going to hold so tight to
my umbrella to where I miss the rainbows. You know
what I mean. I love the fold tie to your umbrella.
Who was I'm just trying to tell you do some
(19:00):
like her? That's yeah. I was gonna say it's Kasey
just because it sounds like a song she would sing,
but it is her song. If I just saw that,
if I heard that faintly randomly walking by when there's
other noise going on, I might think it was Casey
must grapes. Well, if you're coming too the live, we
have a treat for you. It's not Casey, but it's me.
(19:22):
There's a plan. Well, you know, our musical guest is
Britney Spencer, but we're working on a little something. Um baby,
I'm just trying to tell you that there's always there
a rainbow casey in over your head, just like we
don't have headphones in right now, you cannot. We're just
talking into Mike's. But I have a few other thoughts
(19:44):
before we I don't know, I thought I would do
four things this episode, but I'm feeling like you and
I'll just be this, this is the thing, and then
we're kind of going to be done. But I where
were my thoughts? Let me think maybe this is a
good spot to your from sponsors, and then I'll pick
back up with the rest of my thoughts on the
other side. Okay, so with my rainbow year, we've weathered
(20:19):
a lot of storms. Oh the co parenting coach, she
was very impressed with us, and I, like I said,
I it's okay to be proud of Yes, I am
proud of myself. I'm proud of Ben. And there are
times where again because it's just so stink and hard,
that we sort of have to step back and be like, oh, okay,
I'm gonna take a breather on this, or because there's
(20:41):
so many things like meeting with lawyers, it's daunting. I'm
having to take ownership and agency in certain areas of
my life that I never I haven't had to deal
with in sixteen seventeen years because I just handed them over.
And that's something we'll get into it. The live isn't
knowing your worth, and now that I am taking agency
(21:01):
over certain things, I feel my worth more. I'm like, oh,
I'm empowered, and that's not Ben's fault, that's actually mine.
I handed the reins over and those were my keys.
And it's okay to have a partnership where someone if
that's their strength, they could go ahead and do that.
But I think you should always have a foot in
the door on certain stuff just so that you know
(21:25):
what's going on. And again I'm empowered by that. So
all this is say, it's been very, very hard, but
the kids are good and we're about to transition into
the season of where we won't go from house to
apartment anymore. The kids will now go from my home
to his home, and we're opting to do This is
what I was going to say for people that might
be in similar shoes. Just took me a minute to
(21:46):
get there. Is that we're doing friday to friday, one
week on, one week off, and multiple experts that we
met with say that that is a plan that seems
to work well for kids, for anybody somebody else listening,
that might not work for you. You might want to
do some of the other numbers that are out there.
I don't know two to five. There's all these options.
(22:06):
But we did so much research and talked to so
many people, and we were going to do Sunday to Sunday.
And then I went out with a friend, just went
and met up with her for like an hour to
do a quick talk. And it was literally the day
we were talking about the days and someone had suggested
Friday to Friday in the meeting and I was like, no,
that sounds no, Sunday to Sunday, that's that makes sense,
(22:29):
and yeah, pooh pooed the Friday to Friday. And then
when I met that friend, she had just gone through
divorce last year, and she said, well, do you know
y'all's days yet? Because we started out doing Sunday to
Sunday and then we moved Friday to Friday, and it's
a game changer. And I was like, oh no, So
I like, get on my phone's in an email and
I'm like, we might want to look on the Friday
(22:50):
to Friday. Sorry that I you know, different shut that down. Well,
she was explaining that like on a Sunday, no matter
how you spin it. First of all, when it comes
to the kids transitioning homes on a Sunday afternoon to
where they have to go into school on Monday and
have a whole week ahead of them, and then their
(23:10):
weekend with the parent is the weekend after school and
they're all together, right, okay, so just look at how
that week flows. You're like, okay, what's the big deal?
What about when you hear it this way Friday to Friday,
is you arrive at the next parents house on Friday
fresh fresh, and the parent is fresh because they're there,
(23:35):
and then they also have the weekend to transition because
in the beginning still and there's lots of feelings and
things unpacking, and you get to just have a chill weekend,
a fun weekend, a relaxing wee can have friends over,
they get to kind of be themselves, to get acclimated,
and then they go into the school week, and then
on Friday then they go do the next thing. And
so it's better to me because Sunday is already such
(23:56):
a day of preparing that it's like a whole other
on top to prepare for Yes, that's what I was. Also,
if you have forgotten something and it's Sunday and then
you go to school on Monday, it's like, oh, shoot,
well we gotta go figure out da da da. But
if it's Friday, you have Friday night, Saturday Sunday to
figure out, Oh, do we have everything we need for school?
Do we forget anything? What do we need? And Ben
(24:18):
and I are trying to be as hands on as
possible with all their stuff so that they're not having
to worry about it, Like we're trying to make sure
we got doubles of this and that, and there's not
this drastic which I get some people may not be
financially in a place to do all of that. But
how can you be more hands on with your kid
to help pack or make sure they've got it, or
(24:38):
let them go ahead and go on ahead and you
drop it off later, or the spouse comes and picks
it up, or how can you work in that way?
But Friday to Friday also, that was for the kids,
but for the parents you have a full weekend too.
So like say if you we went to New York
for your birthday, or something and we left on Friday,
Well I'd have to be back on Sunday at two
pm no matter why. Oh you know might be so
(25:01):
now it's like, as the adult, if it's Friday to Friday,
you have more time to plan things. And again that's
not what divorce is about. It's not like, oh, look
I've got all this time, but if you're looking to
divide it up. That was her case for Friday to Friday.
And then so in our next meeting, we talked about
(25:22):
it and that's what we voted, and we voted Friday
to Friday and so but again we haven't done that yet.
So I'm speaking as someone that like, I'm just taking
an information and this we're going to try. I might
come on here in the month and be like, Friday
to Friday is the worst decision we've ever made, and
actually week to week is the worst decision ever, and
we're doing every other day like I don't know, that's
probably not gonna happen. That would be exhausting for everybody involved.
(25:46):
But just if you were in a similar situation, hugs,
like virtual podcast hugs to you right now. I know
it's not easy, but you will get through. It and
ask yourself, what does this make possible? Help that shout
out Donald Miller, or what big thing is this teaching
me right now? Or how can I grow from this?
(26:07):
Don't waste it. That's my encouragement, and I have to
tell myself that all the time. Do not waste this,
do not waste this. How can you how can we grow?
How can we stretch? How can this make you a
better mom? How can this make you a better friend? Sister?
I mean, gosh, speaking of support, my sister has been
an amazing support. And my sister and her husband are
(26:28):
literally how I met my husband. I mean I met
him as a kid, but they were best friends with
him and are they're still close with him. And like
we went to Pagosa for Christmas. Everybody was there, his family,
my family were because everybody's we've all gone to Pagosa
for years and years and years and that's not going
to change. So if he starts dating somebody or gets married, like, well,
(26:49):
see you on the slopes, like I will be there,
or I'll see you at my sister's coffee shop. Sorry,
like I don't know what you know. Or if I
start dating some ben might be like all right sea
the slopes, which feel bad for I mean, my Ben's
a good Ben's a good skier, are you? I'm okay,
(27:09):
but he's at least you can do it. He can
if I was taking someone that didn't know skiing and
like we went and did that, and then been like
it would be kind of embarra past. Yeah. I mean
surely whoever if I date, they're going to be confident
and they're not going to care like, oh I got
to learn how to ski before see him out on
the slopes. Don't because Ben's really good. Oh one more thing,
(27:33):
the Instagram post I never got back to that. I
was talking about how other people do it, how I
chose to do it, and I wrote something been approved
it too, and I did like a carousel you taught me.
It's called a carousel and it's no no photos, no picture,
no no smiling faces of like look at us, but
(27:54):
we're all happy and because not every day is happy,
it's just not. So you can go to at rate
you Amy and read that and kind of what we
put it, if you even care or want to, and
then if you choose to comment. One of my friends
was like, are you going to turn the comments off.
I think I asked you that it was. I think
Ali did too, and No. I decided not to because
(28:17):
I want to leave space for other people that might
be going through this to see all the encouragement because
I know it's going to be there and the support vibes.
There's nothing I can do about the low vibes that
want to enter that space. But if I turn off
the comments, I feel as though I'm taking away an
opportunity for somebody else to see. Oh wow, if I
(28:38):
were to make a really hard announcement, maybe it's not divorced.
If I were to do this really hard thing, I
may not be judged as terribly as I think I'm
going to be. Well, I think that the people that
want to have low vibes, if they want to do it,
they're going to do it, So turn it off the
comments might not make that go away, but it will
take away the ability for somebody who see the encouragement.
(28:58):
So yeah, I mean, if I is Hayley Bieber or something,
I might have to turn my comments off. She did
have to turn her comments off, but I'm not just
you know, radio and my Instagram's pretty much a snail
account now anyways, because I am obsessed with this is
going to interrupt the content that you've been putting out
about the snails that stuffs legit. I have it on
(29:21):
my face right now, which I made a snail highlight
because too many people were asking and I was like,
I can't keep posting about this all the time. So
here's a highlight and all the information that I've shared
and the things are here. But what's fun is I
might be doing something with them for my birthday where
people will get like twenty percent off, which is a
(29:42):
lot of some snails because it's it's kind of pricey.
But if it's it's a ten day face treatment, so
ten days, how often are you doing it? Well, the
ten day treatment ten days, and then you can do
one vial once a week for maintenance however long. But
you don't have to. You could do it every two
week if you wanted to. But like my friend Amy
(30:03):
different Amy than me, lash Amy, my friend tell a
story about yourself. My friend Amy says five stars. She says,
get it out, no um, which I didn't even know
this company at all, but I had tagged them one time.
But honestly, they saw the sales, the day that I
post about it, which I I only decided to post
(30:26):
about it because I couldn't believe my skin and that
and some people had been asking about it in person,
and so I was like, well, I don't know, maybe
y'all I love to know about this stuff, so I'll
just share it. And they said yes, they were very
thankful for that day, and so that's why we might
do something. I've never done a code before for something,
and never done a code I thought I can think
(30:48):
of not just a big deal. I never done a code,
but the code is for like again, I said, if
I'm going to post something like I wanna, if y'all
want to do something like that, let's give them twenty
percent off. So anyway, that's coming in the near future.
But I just it's tooting. Yeah. Well, I was thinking,
I really am like a snail account that that's the
only thing people want to talk to me about. That's
(31:10):
why I joke I'm a snail account now because I
could post something really that I think is awesome and
not get any engagement. You post about snail secretion on
your face and people blow you up. Yeah, well, because
it seems like a hot take, I'm not. I'm not
at the point where I want to put that on
my face. Yeah, I know, I'm gonna hold you down
(31:31):
and put it on. I'm gonna be like, you're putting
this snail secretion on your face because you're gonna see
what I'm talking about. It's gay. Is there anything else
you want to say before? Yeah? I just the one
thing that just came to mind is take agency over
your life. Oh, that's it. That's what it just came
to my head. I saw all this to say, take
agency over your life. You're the only one in control
(31:52):
over you. Oh. I like that. Like, allow yourself to
take agency over your life. That's a good way to
wrap everything you set up and support your people, support yourself,
be kind to yourself whatever you're going through. I just
be gentle, hold yourself, nurture yourself, which is what I
gotta go do. Have the day you need to have,
(32:13):
the day you need to have. I'm at Radio Amy
Radioamey dot com for more links in details. I also
have a link tree in my Instagram. Now high tech
over agency over my life, over your Instagram. That's right.
And Kat, you are at Kat dot defata and you
can also follow at you need Therapy podcast, which is
(32:33):
my other podcast. This is not my podcast, but that's
my podcast, which is really good. You check it out
five stars, rate and review, like, and subscribe. Bye by
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