January 17, 2023 • 26 mins
Amy found the perfect clone to an expensive perfume that is so much cheaper…you need this in your life!! Today’s Quote: “A dream written down without a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action becomes reality.” - Unknown
Since “trying is cool” Amy & Kat share a thread from @MikeFoster2000 called: “SOME THOUGHTS ON THOSE WHO TRY.” Such a good reminder to keep showing up for yourself even if something you put out into the world fails. Speaking of trying things…Amy’s going to do another LIVE podcast event. The date and location will be announced this coming Friday 1/20.
The word OVERFLOW was brought to Amy’s attention from a listener named Ashley Beck that emailed in. Here’s an excerpt:
“I finally listened to your live podcast and wanted to share some hopefully encouraging words about what I walked away with after listening. The word "overflow" kept coming to me as I was listening. Each person who spoke: you, Kat, Cristi, all had something to offer from your own life that was able to overflow to those listening. That concept of overflow is such a hopeful one that constantly gives me encouragement when I'm going through difficult times. I guess it's the idea that our pain is not in vain -- that our pain will be redeemed not only in ourselves, but also in the lives of others. We are able to share and at the very least help someone not feel alone, and at the best, help them find their own redemption and healing.”
This got Amy & Kat talking about what we all can overflow into someone else’s life this coming year. How can you use part of your story to help someone else? And while Ashley was referring to the LIVE podcast - this doesn’t have to be a public thing - just as a way to overflow into your family, your friends, someone else in your life that might need your story, your encouragement, your hope.
4 Things Gratitude Journal 3.0 (all proceeds to education in Haiti):
https://www.theshopforward.com/products/4-things-gratitude-journal-3-0
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Send emails for the '5th Thing' to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat. And before we get in the quote, I
want to share something just fun and cool, which is
that you know that ALL brand of perfume that we like,
which is I guess ALL stands for alternative to the
really expensive stuff. I feel bad buying it. It's a
(00:25):
legit knockoff. Well, isn't it the same thing as like
buying a jacket from Target that looks like a jacket
from another brand, or a pair of shoes or some
great thank you for infirming it is okay? But La Labo,
I don't even know how to say that brand? You know,
New York? Do you know what I'm talking about? I
have this the Labo or the I have the Alt one,
(00:46):
which is simply ne or and it smells exactly the same, exactly.
There's this girl on TikTok and she was talking about
how this might be the most perfectly cloned perfume, and
I ordered it, and it is true, it is cloned perfectly.
So now is this going to be your go to? I?
I have the Baccarat Regular it's just so extensive, and
(01:10):
I also have the Alt Baccarat, which I don't know
that that's a perfect clone. It's not, but it's very close.
It's close. But my thought is that if you if
I buy the alt brand of these perfumes that I like,
because I also have this Santa one, then I can
have a lot of options versus just one. Right, you
know I like that options. Options are good. Today's quote
(01:31):
is unknown. A dream written down without a date becomes
a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan.
A plan backed by action becomes reality. Boom, And we're
still in the New Year's you might still be working
on your goals. And it's crazy to think that we're
over halfway through January. It hasn't time completely flown. You
(01:52):
know what. I was thinking my way over here because
I had on my winter coat and I was hot.
It feels like the winter's almost over, but it's not.
It it gets cold here in February. I have had
similar thinking, but then it was just snowing two days
ago in Nashville. Yes, it also is in the seventies
last week. Right, We just can't get the winter could
(02:13):
be whenever. And I know that in previous February time frame,
March time frame, there's been ice and snow and all
the things. So winter is not coming. Winter is here.
I was gonna say winter is coming, which I didn't
watch Game of Thrones, did you. That's a Game of
Thrones right now. I haven't watched it, Okay, so I
wouldn't know. I wouldn't know either, So I have no
idea what I'm talking about. But I like the idea
(02:36):
of writing down goals, putting things out there. And something
I did the other day was a complete vision board
for a specific event. So we've talked about vision boards
for the year, what would you like to see happen?
What are some things you want to throw out there,
or not even just for the year, but for your life.
But I got very specific and made a vision board
(02:57):
for my next live podcast because this Friday will be
announcing the next city and then the following Friday tickets
will go on sale. But it was really cool to
go piece by piece and cut things out and print
things out and print faces and people and quotes and
things and put it on a board. And now I've
been looking at it every day, and I just would
(03:19):
encourage anybody else to do that. If you have a
big project coming up or something you're working on or
goal that you have get specific now, I didn't. It's
not a huge vision vision board. It's it's the size
of a piece of paper, like a printer paper. And
that's what I started with, and I just started adding
to it, and there's still space on there to where
over the next couple of months I can keep adding
(03:40):
to it. And so I thought I would just share
that because for me writing things down, that didn't. That's
not what'll slowed out of me in that moment. It was, Oh,
I have all these magazines here from when we made
vision boards a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm
going to really just give myself a visual to look
at and yeah, then you can put it somewhere you
can see it, and we'll keep your mind even creating
(04:00):
more ideas. Yes, which has led to a Google doc
that Elizabeth and I are working on in different things
to keep it organized and which that is the plan,
and I'm putting things into actions so that it can
become reality. Having a vision board or staring at something
every day or praying about something doesn't mean that you
don't put in any action to get there. So that's
(04:22):
what I'm trying to do. Be proactive. Um, do you
want to share anything that you put on the board. Well,
I put that it's sold out. Okay, that's good, that's
really good. It hasn't well, it hasn't sold out because
people can't buy it tickets yet. I know. But even still,
I think that's I think that's every creator's problem when
(04:45):
they're coming up with something and then putting it out there,
is how are people are going to receive it? As
anybody gonna you know, it's that whole song and dance
blah blah blah. But you know you have that fear
of which is which it's okay. Also, I remind myself
if it doesn't sell out, also that is okay. So
either way is fine. I am okay. I say that
(05:06):
a lot. I am okay. Review back to me, I
said that to myself, I am okay, And it makes
me think of other things. I say to myself a lot,
which we've talked about for this year, trying things. And
I say, trying is cool because you and I have
talked about that. On the fifth thing and then your
gift to me for Christmas was a customized bracelet from
(05:27):
able where you had engraved trying is cool, and I
have it on my right wrist and I looked down
and I see, trying is cool. So doing stuff like this,
trying to take the podcast to different cities, I'm trying.
Trying is cool. And Mike Foster, you sent me an
Instagram post from him where he had a whole thread
(05:50):
about some thoughts on those who are trying something. Do
you remember what I'm talking about? I love him. I'd
never heard of him until you sent me that. So
what is he? So? He had a podcast called fun
Therapy back in the day. It was probably one of
my first podcast episodes I've ever listened to. I I
listened to episode with him and Annie f Downs and
(06:11):
I don't know that he still does the podcast. But
he's a writer and he's a therapist, so he has
a really good protected on stuff. And you got him
on your podcast coming up. I think, well, okay, so
kind of he's agreed to but um, we haven't said
a day or recorded, so hopefully that pans out. It
will see. But that's something I put into the universe too.
(06:32):
I said on my podcast I read something from him.
It wasn't this. I read something from him, and I said, Mike,
if you're out there, I'd love to have you on
the show. And look Okay, hey mel Robbins, if you're
out there, I would like to have you on the show.
Here's his thread. I guess he lives in California. Maybe
I don't know what he marked his location Carl's Bad, California.
(06:57):
Some thoughts on those who try. Yesterday, I was forced
to cancel my Strongest Couple's workshop. Why. I had only
one sign up? Only one, and frankly, I'm embarrassed. I
promoted it, I invited lots of friends, hundreds of people
checked out the web page. My wife and I had
the food and special surprises all planned out. We were pumped,
(07:19):
but still no one signed up. I feel embarrassed, irritated,
and frustrated with myself. I'm second guessing my work and
my message a bit. My confidence is rattled. This is
what happens when things like this happened. I only share
this because if you're a person who puts things out
into the world, you probably have experienced this type of
failure too, and when it happened to you, you wanted
(07:39):
to hide it away so you wouldn't look bad or
be embarrassed. For example, the book you published that didn't sell,
the event you hosted that few came to, the dream
business that you closed two years later. The poem you wrote,
anytime I say poem, I think of how you make
say it poem. It sounds like poem. I can say poem, poem, poem,
(08:10):
the poem. The poem you wrote that no one understood
the sure thing investment that collapsed your vulnerable I g
post that went unnoticed. We're so good at looking successful,
but hate having mud on our face. But failure is
a sad cruelty of life, and honestly, we should share
(08:30):
more of these moments and a little less of our highlights.
Then we wouldn't feel so alone in our failure. If
we didn't hide the things that didn't work, we would
feel more connected, sort of like we've joined a family
of people who tried stuff and it just didn't work.
And the fact that we tried makes us braver than
those who didn't. Not better, just braver and friends, that's
(08:51):
something to be proud of. So let's keep trying and
then trying some more, because that's what success in life
is all about. And then in tiny and he said,
by the way I'm doing another Strongest Workshop on March
tent through eleven because I'm gonna keep trying. Good for him,
good for you, Mike. Try trying is so cool. You
can tell him about the bracelet. Oh I have to. Yeah,
(09:15):
thanks for coming on the podcast. I hope you like it.
I shared that because I think it could be bigger,
small things that you're trying that flop and we got
to just get back up, keep on going. I think
that's helpful that he posted that for more than one reason,
and one of those reasons is I knew he was
doing that workshop. Obviously I was not signed up to you,
(09:37):
but I assumed that he, being who he is, it
was like sold out or had a waiting list or
something like that. I just assumed that, because I respect
him in whatever way, that everything he does is a success,
and so for him, it's almost like he's bringing himself
back to a human level. For me, and I think
we need to do that with a lot of people
(09:58):
we see. Maybe maybe Mel Robins has some days that
aren't so great. Oh, no, she does. She talks about
my friend Mel. She's very honest. Yeah. Well, I think
we just assumed that everybody who has some success always
is successful, and it's like, oh wait, he's actually probably
really similar to me when it comes to stuff like that.
(10:26):
The word overflow was brought to my attention from a
listener named Ashley that sent an email in I don't
know if you'll remember Ashley Beck, but she hosted a
listener Q and A that I did. She's a lawyer
from Louisiana and I actually met her when I did
Ali and Don's Write Your Story workshop Donald Miller fall
of last year that I went and did that, and
(10:47):
she's really awesome. But I wanted to share what she
wrote about the word overflow. Amy. I finally listened to
your live podcast and wanted to share some hopefully encouraging
words about what I walked away with after listening. The
word overflow kept coming to me as I was listening.
Each person who spoke You, Cat, Christie, all had something
(11:08):
to offer from your own life that was able to
overflow to those listening. That concept of overflow is such
a beautiful one that constantly gives me encouragement when I'm
going through difficult times. I guess it's the idea that
our pain is not in vain, but that our pain
will be redeemed not only in ourselves but also in
the lives of others, which is me talking here. I'm
(11:29):
gonna insert It's almost like when he shared that thread
of his failure, it overflowed into us who needed to
hear that it's okay to fail. I like the word
overflow a lot. Yeah, I hadn't thought of it as
just overflowing. It's actually a good visual since I'm all
about envisioning things these days. But I picture it flowing
(11:50):
into me and flowing into others like his pain flowed
in and gave me hope, which is weird. It's okay,
keep it, That's what I mean. Ashley says here that
our pain will be redeemed not only in ourselves, but
also in the lives of others. We are able to
share and at the very least help someone not feel
(12:10):
alone and at the best to help them find their
own redemption and healing. Now, her email was way longer
than that, but I wanted to focus on that word
overflow and what your life can offer someone else. And
maybe that's something that you try to focus on this year,
because we're still at the beginning, We still have lots
(12:32):
of time left. Winter is not over bring hasn't even
come summer fall, which I have been wanting to rush
to get to that fall Christmas season already. I just
I put my all my Christmas stuff away last weekend,
and it's very sad. Ready to get it back out.
It's very sad. But while Ashley was referring to the
live podcast taping, some of the stuff doesn't even have
(12:55):
to be a public thing that you're sharing. You could
overflow into family and friends and someone else in your
life that might need to hear something, your story, your encouragement,
your hope. So thank you Ashley for sharing that with us,
because I think that's an important takeaway and why oftentimes
we do what we do, whether publicly or privately with
(13:18):
our people. I like that word. That word needs to
go on the vision board. Overflow. Okay, I'll cut it out.
A lot of times it's hard to find exactly words words,
so I have to cut it out and it looks
like a ransom letter. But like on my vision board
for the live event, worthy kept coming to mind, the
(13:38):
word that we're worthy of good things. I went to
a Little Girl's dinner the other night and a theme
was that, well, one of my friends said it, and
then it kind of resonated, so I say, it's a
theme I just keep hearing it from people, is that
I don't know if I deserve this good thing to
happen to me. Sit with that for a minute, and
sometimes then she went into self sabotage and different things
(14:00):
that she can end up doing, which I think we've
all been there or could easily be there. And so
just knowing that we do deserve good things and we
are worthy, and that's a word that keeps coming in mind.
I have no idea exactly what's gonna be talked about
at the live yet, but believing that I'm worthy and
you know, making sure others know that they're worthy, that's
(14:21):
something that keeps coming to mind. Who knows. But the
four things will be are exactly who the guests are
going to be or what that will look like. But Cat,
you're gonna be there, right, Yes? I like booked and
did all this stuff and then texted Cat and was like, oh, hey,
can you come? Do you have this weekend available? And
She's like, shoot, let me go check. And I'm like,
why am I such a ding dong? Of course? I
(14:42):
just I just thought, oh, yeah, cats available. But I
also know that that you and Patrick went to like
weddings last year, so you could have had a wedding
that you were going to that weekend, and we already
have three lined up this year. I thought we would
be done, see what I'm talking about. So luckily that
weekend is free. Okay, and Big Pea can be there too.
He better be there because he was on your podcast
(15:03):
for the first time, right, Yeah, well I was warming
him up. He just was on there for like a
couple of minutes. So y'all were talking about the bagel gate.
What happened because you cried over the bagel. Yeah, he
came and talked about and gave his perspective of what
he thought of me when that was happening, and I
thought he was going to be a little bit more harsh,
but he was just really nice. That's that's good. He
(15:26):
said he knew it wasn't about the bagel, even though
you didn't know it wasn't about the bagel yet. Okay,
And y'all had recorded that episode before you had the
mayonnaise game, because I was following that. Yes, So then
Friday night again I tried to do something nice for him.
Because he wasn't feeling good. So I went and got
him dinner, and then of course my meal was messed up,
and then he went back and got the right one
(15:49):
for me, except they messed it up two more times.
But I didn't cry, and I said to him when
I came home, I said, Patrick, I'm prepared for them
to have gotten my order wrong, and I'm not going
to cry. And then it was wrong, and just closed
my eyes and he said it's okay, and I said,
I know, it's just really frustrating. And he said, do
you want me to go get you the right sandwich?
And I said nothing, and then he said it again,
(16:09):
and I said, I actually, that's what I want, and
so we did it, and we would do it. I
asked for what I wanted, right, Yeah. I love that
you brought that part up, because you texted me that
I asked for what I wanted. And I think oftentimes
if someone's offering something to us, we don't want to
inconvenience them, even though we really would like that. I mean,
and he's your partner, he's your boyfriend. He wants to
(16:29):
do that for you if you wouldn't say it to him,
if you didn't want to go get it, and you
would want him to be honest. Of Hey, actually that
would be awesome because you do X y Z for me.
It doesn't have to be going back to get a
sandwich with no mayonnaise or whatever. But I guarantee you this,
I will never forget Cat's bagel. Order sesame bagel, seame
(16:51):
seed bagel, butter. Yep, that's really easy. But also I
have to add this. I did send an email to
the customer service speople, like, for whatever reason, it feels
so validated for me to do that. I just want
somebody to hear me. Okay, you need something to you.
I don't. I think I've talked about this at some
(17:12):
point before in life. I'm not proud of it, but
that reminds me of a time I don't know, back
in two thousand and eleven or so, I was living
in North Carolina and I ordered Mellow Mushroom Barbecue chicken
pizza and it comes with a barbecue swirl. It's so good,
And we went to go pick it up and got
(17:33):
home and there was no barbecue swirl. The best part
of the pizza, why you ordered it was the barbecue
swirld and it's almost as though I couldn't help myself
something to go for me, and I had to call.
I wasn't gonna do anything about it because I didn't
want another one. I wasn't going to drive back up there,
(17:53):
but I needed someone there to know that they forgot
my barbecue swirl. I was nice about it. Yeah, right,
But I guarantee you that they hung up from that
call and they're like, some woman just called here, and
she is crazy. Did they offer you anything? No, I
don't even think they really knew how to. Probably you said,
I don't want anything except for you to hear me
(18:16):
say that you got my order wrong. Yeah, there was
no barbecue swirl. I couldn't let go of the fact.
You would think I could have just taken a few
deep breaths and then like, okay, there's still barbecue sauce
in this pizza. It's the base. It's like it's just
an extra swirl. Yeah, it's so, it's the barbecue swirl
(18:37):
on top, and I wanted it. I wanted to see
the swirl, and so I was just so freaked out.
There was no barbecue sauce on it at all. No,
it's just the decoration. Yeah it was a barbecue chicken pizza,
(18:58):
a barbecue swirl. Yeah, right right. So I understand your
desire to want to email the customer service to let
them know that about the order being wrong in a
nice way, in a very nice way. There's ways to
go about it, to be kind, that could be helpful.
I did not need to call about the barbecue swirrel.
I don't know what was going on with me personally
(19:18):
at that time, maybe hormones. But it was a big deal.
Not a big deal, but not a proud moment in
looking back, not a big deal. But also we can
laugh about. It's a good story. And I think the
other thing is in the moments where I've sent these
more than one emails to these customer service people, I
think I'm bringing them a little bit of joy as well.
Like I like how the people read this email from
(19:42):
this girl who literally says, I know this isn't a
big deal. I just needs to be to hear me. Okay,
you bring up a good point, because I bet that
that person that I called, maybe this is a story
they get to tell over and over twelve years later. Hey, y'all,
one time, back in the day I worked in mellow
mushroom and this crazy lady called me because we forgot
(20:03):
to put her barbecue swirld. Yeah, maybe I am bringing
them storytelling and joy. Yeah, you're welcome, and then maybe
they feel a little less crazy when they hear crazy
people like us or something like that. Yeah, we overflowed
that into their lives. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you, all right.
(20:24):
Sherry my brain therapist, she does the neuro feedback on me.
She's my guest of this Thursday for the fourth Things
for this is the fisting, and that was actually called
four Things if I could speak, and I'm excited for
people to hear this episode. We talk a lot about
the brain and how we can rewire our brain, the
(20:46):
what the neuro feedback is doing to speed up that process,
how it's good to do alone or addition to talk therapy,
why water is so important for the brain, food the
foods we need to be eating for our brain. So
it's a great episode. But she also talks about the
importance of breathing for a brain breathwork, like not just
breathing the voluntary that we do, but like you were saying,
if I were to stop and just breathe, that you know,
(21:10):
maybe we wouldn't make phone calls. I still emailed after
I did the breathing now, okay, but helped me do
the email in a nicer way. Emails. I would see
emails better than a phone call when you're staring at
the pizza and you're like literally staring at the pizza
talking to them. I took no time, I took no breaths,
took nothing. I did the email before I ate my food. Okay,
(21:34):
well I don't. I Actually it's hard to even think
you didn't breathe. No, I think that the email if
I would have written it before I breathed, it would
have been a different email, you know. Yeah, yeah, so
that'll be uh this Thursday, if you want to check
that out. And then Cat, where can people find you
and your podcast on Instagram? You can find me at
(21:56):
at Cat dot de fata and at you Need Therapy Podcast.
Then you can listen to You Need Therapy podcast wherever
you like to listen to your podcasts. Yeah, however, you're
listening to this right now. Just click on over do
you Need Therapy and listen to Cat talk to her
boyfriend about the awesome girlfriend that she is. Uh. You
(22:17):
can hit up Radio Amy dot com and at Radio
Amy for more stuff about me that sounds weird. I
am I so awkward. I don't know. I wish that
Amy Brown dot com is available, but it's not. So
Brown a fairy artist or she did. I don't know.
Is her name Amy Brown? Her name is Amy Brown?
(22:39):
Because sometimes I get emails, emails, I get d N
saying do you still draw fairies? And I'm like, nope,
I sure don't. I Am not the fairy drawer. Okay,
So here she is Amy Brown dot com. I think
if you click on that, then I go to a
visit some website which now I'm scared to don't do it.
(23:01):
I don't know. I'm not going to cut a click
on it. But it used to show a bunch of
ferries when you went there, but something has changed on that.
So Radio Amy dot Com in the meantime still have
on my vision board. Uh And back to the original
quote of like it's part of my One of my
things that I've written down that we're working into reality
is updating the website more and posting blogs and sending
(23:25):
out newsletters and building our email. Not subscription, there's no subscription.
Oh do you know what I'm thinking about doing. Have
no idea Patreon? Wait? Really? Yeah, so tvt on that
that's exciting for listeners though they get more stuff. Yes,
it would be probably more video content and different things
(23:47):
that I get a lot of questions about. But yes,
there would be bonus content. My friend Gracey, well, Gracyklar
has come on the podcast multiple times. She was telling
me about it a long time ago because she signed
her husband Steve up for it, and they really enjoy
it and it's a great way to yes, get more
content out there and interact with listeners. And I have
(24:08):
also been encouraged by a few other friends to do
it that have signed up for different podcasts that they
listened to The Toast. I love that podcast, but I don't.
I haven't signed up for their patreons. Or maybe I should. Well,
I have a friend that pays seven dollars and ninety
nine a month to get extra content get toast a
lot of content on there. I do now because someone
(24:28):
like I want to listen to that episode. Maybe it's
a sign to do that. Well, maybe see it as
your sign your friends overflowing into me exactly, But I
don't know. I wouldn't. I don't think I would do
the seven ninety nine option. I think there's a five
dollar option or something like that. But that's another thing
that's on the in the works. And if you want
to send me an email, you can to four things
(24:49):
with Amy Brown at gmail dot com and the time
being sending me an email. There is a way to
help gather emails for like if I were to eventually
start doing a newsletter, and then I'll put something up
once I get that going to where if you sign
up or give me your email, like you'll get something
in return, Like it'll be worth it. It'll be worth it,
(25:11):
like there will be added value to it. And value
is another word that keeps coming in my mind, especially
with the live podcasts, is people are paying their heart
on money to be there, and I want it to
be a value to them. There's content you can get
all over the place, and so it means a lot
that someone would show up and want to be there
and spend money, but I want them to walk away
(25:33):
with something, So that's very important as well. So feedback
is great. I reached out to a few people on
Instagram that had were at the last live and asked
them for any constructive criticism or what they didn't like,
what they wish would have happened. And it was two
girls in particular, and they gave me really good feedback,
so I was very thankful for that. And I so
(25:54):
I was like, oh, maybe we need to build like
a focus group just so that people can really feel
like they're get the value there. So I hope you
are having the day that you need to have and
th episodes over. Just kidding, that's my computer. I guess
I'm getting a notification or a text or something. CAT
(26:15):
you the best,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat. And before we get in the quote, I
want to share something just fun and cool, which is
that you know that ALL brand of perfume that we like,
which is I guess ALL stands for alternative to the
really expensive stuff. I feel bad buying it. It's a
(00:25):
legit knockoff. Well, isn't it the same thing as like
buying a jacket from Target that looks like a jacket
from another brand, or a pair of shoes or some
great thank you for infirming it is okay? But La Labo,
I don't even know how to say that brand? You know,
New York? Do you know what I'm talking about? I
have this the Labo or the I have the Alt one,
(00:46):
which is simply ne or and it smells exactly the same, exactly.
There's this girl on TikTok and she was talking about
how this might be the most perfectly cloned perfume, and
I ordered it, and it is true, it is cloned perfectly.
So now is this going to be your go to? I?
I have the Baccarat Regular it's just so extensive, and
(01:10):
I also have the Alt Baccarat, which I don't know
that that's a perfect clone. It's not, but it's very close.
It's close. But my thought is that if you if
I buy the alt brand of these perfumes that I like,
because I also have this Santa one, then I can
have a lot of options versus just one. Right, you
know I like that options. Options are good. Today's quote
(01:31):
is unknown. A dream written down without a date becomes
a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan.
A plan backed by action becomes reality. Boom, And we're
still in the New Year's you might still be working
on your goals. And it's crazy to think that we're
over halfway through January. It hasn't time completely flown. You
(01:52):
know what. I was thinking my way over here because
I had on my winter coat and I was hot.
It feels like the winter's almost over, but it's not.
It it gets cold here in February. I have had
similar thinking, but then it was just snowing two days
ago in Nashville. Yes, it also is in the seventies
last week. Right, We just can't get the winter could
(02:13):
be whenever. And I know that in previous February time frame,
March time frame, there's been ice and snow and all
the things. So winter is not coming. Winter is here.
I was gonna say winter is coming, which I didn't
watch Game of Thrones, did you. That's a Game of
Thrones right now. I haven't watched it, Okay, so I
wouldn't know. I wouldn't know either, So I have no
idea what I'm talking about. But I like the idea
(02:36):
of writing down goals, putting things out there. And something
I did the other day was a complete vision board
for a specific event. So we've talked about vision boards
for the year, what would you like to see happen?
What are some things you want to throw out there,
or not even just for the year, but for your life.
But I got very specific and made a vision board
(02:57):
for my next live podcast because this Friday will be
announcing the next city and then the following Friday tickets
will go on sale. But it was really cool to
go piece by piece and cut things out and print
things out and print faces and people and quotes and
things and put it on a board. And now I've
been looking at it every day, and I just would
(03:19):
encourage anybody else to do that. If you have a
big project coming up or something you're working on or
goal that you have get specific now, I didn't. It's
not a huge vision vision board. It's it's the size
of a piece of paper, like a printer paper. And
that's what I started with, and I just started adding
to it, and there's still space on there to where
over the next couple of months I can keep adding
(03:40):
to it. And so I thought I would just share
that because for me writing things down, that didn't. That's
not what'll slowed out of me in that moment. It was, Oh,
I have all these magazines here from when we made
vision boards a couple of weeks ago, and now I'm
going to really just give myself a visual to look
at and yeah, then you can put it somewhere you
can see it, and we'll keep your mind even creating
(04:00):
more ideas. Yes, which has led to a Google doc
that Elizabeth and I are working on in different things
to keep it organized and which that is the plan,
and I'm putting things into actions so that it can
become reality. Having a vision board or staring at something
every day or praying about something doesn't mean that you
don't put in any action to get there. So that's
(04:22):
what I'm trying to do. Be proactive. Um, do you
want to share anything that you put on the board. Well,
I put that it's sold out. Okay, that's good, that's
really good. It hasn't well, it hasn't sold out because
people can't buy it tickets yet. I know. But even still,
I think that's I think that's every creator's problem when
(04:45):
they're coming up with something and then putting it out there,
is how are people are going to receive it? As
anybody gonna you know, it's that whole song and dance
blah blah blah. But you know you have that fear
of which is which it's okay. Also, I remind myself
if it doesn't sell out, also that is okay. So
either way is fine. I am okay. I say that
(05:06):
a lot. I am okay. Review back to me, I
said that to myself, I am okay, And it makes
me think of other things. I say to myself a lot,
which we've talked about for this year, trying things. And
I say, trying is cool because you and I have
talked about that. On the fifth thing and then your
gift to me for Christmas was a customized bracelet from
(05:27):
able where you had engraved trying is cool, and I
have it on my right wrist and I looked down
and I see, trying is cool. So doing stuff like this,
trying to take the podcast to different cities, I'm trying.
Trying is cool. And Mike Foster, you sent me an
Instagram post from him where he had a whole thread
(05:50):
about some thoughts on those who are trying something. Do
you remember what I'm talking about? I love him. I'd
never heard of him until you sent me that. So
what is he? So? He had a podcast called fun
Therapy back in the day. It was probably one of
my first podcast episodes I've ever listened to. I I
listened to episode with him and Annie f Downs and
(06:11):
I don't know that he still does the podcast. But
he's a writer and he's a therapist, so he has
a really good protected on stuff. And you got him
on your podcast coming up. I think, well, okay, so
kind of he's agreed to but um, we haven't said
a day or recorded, so hopefully that pans out. It
will see. But that's something I put into the universe too.
(06:32):
I said on my podcast I read something from him.
It wasn't this. I read something from him, and I said, Mike,
if you're out there, I'd love to have you on
the show. And look Okay, hey mel Robbins, if you're
out there, I would like to have you on the show.
Here's his thread. I guess he lives in California. Maybe
I don't know what he marked his location Carl's Bad, California.
(06:57):
Some thoughts on those who try. Yesterday, I was forced
to cancel my Strongest Couple's workshop. Why. I had only
one sign up? Only one, and frankly, I'm embarrassed. I
promoted it, I invited lots of friends, hundreds of people
checked out the web page. My wife and I had
the food and special surprises all planned out. We were pumped,
(07:19):
but still no one signed up. I feel embarrassed, irritated,
and frustrated with myself. I'm second guessing my work and
my message a bit. My confidence is rattled. This is
what happens when things like this happened. I only share
this because if you're a person who puts things out
into the world, you probably have experienced this type of
failure too, and when it happened to you, you wanted
(07:39):
to hide it away so you wouldn't look bad or
be embarrassed. For example, the book you published that didn't sell,
the event you hosted that few came to, the dream
business that you closed two years later. The poem you wrote,
anytime I say poem, I think of how you make
say it poem. It sounds like poem. I can say poem, poem, poem,
(08:10):
the poem. The poem you wrote that no one understood
the sure thing investment that collapsed your vulnerable I g
post that went unnoticed. We're so good at looking successful,
but hate having mud on our face. But failure is
a sad cruelty of life, and honestly, we should share
(08:30):
more of these moments and a little less of our highlights.
Then we wouldn't feel so alone in our failure. If
we didn't hide the things that didn't work, we would
feel more connected, sort of like we've joined a family
of people who tried stuff and it just didn't work.
And the fact that we tried makes us braver than
those who didn't. Not better, just braver and friends, that's
(08:51):
something to be proud of. So let's keep trying and
then trying some more, because that's what success in life
is all about. And then in tiny and he said,
by the way I'm doing another Strongest Workshop on March
tent through eleven because I'm gonna keep trying. Good for him,
good for you, Mike. Try trying is so cool. You
can tell him about the bracelet. Oh I have to. Yeah,
(09:15):
thanks for coming on the podcast. I hope you like it.
I shared that because I think it could be bigger,
small things that you're trying that flop and we got
to just get back up, keep on going. I think
that's helpful that he posted that for more than one reason,
and one of those reasons is I knew he was
doing that workshop. Obviously I was not signed up to you,
(09:37):
but I assumed that he, being who he is, it
was like sold out or had a waiting list or
something like that. I just assumed that, because I respect
him in whatever way, that everything he does is a success,
and so for him, it's almost like he's bringing himself
back to a human level. For me, and I think
we need to do that with a lot of people
(09:58):
we see. Maybe maybe Mel Robins has some days that
aren't so great. Oh, no, she does. She talks about
my friend Mel. She's very honest. Yeah. Well, I think
we just assumed that everybody who has some success always
is successful, and it's like, oh wait, he's actually probably
really similar to me when it comes to stuff like that.
(10:26):
The word overflow was brought to my attention from a
listener named Ashley that sent an email in I don't
know if you'll remember Ashley Beck, but she hosted a
listener Q and A that I did. She's a lawyer
from Louisiana and I actually met her when I did
Ali and Don's Write Your Story workshop Donald Miller fall
of last year that I went and did that, and
(10:47):
she's really awesome. But I wanted to share what she
wrote about the word overflow. Amy. I finally listened to
your live podcast and wanted to share some hopefully encouraging
words about what I walked away with after listening. The
word overflow kept coming to me as I was listening.
Each person who spoke You, Cat, Christie, all had something
(11:08):
to offer from your own life that was able to
overflow to those listening. That concept of overflow is such
a beautiful one that constantly gives me encouragement when I'm
going through difficult times. I guess it's the idea that
our pain is not in vain, but that our pain
will be redeemed not only in ourselves but also in
the lives of others, which is me talking here. I'm
(11:29):
gonna insert It's almost like when he shared that thread
of his failure, it overflowed into us who needed to
hear that it's okay to fail. I like the word
overflow a lot. Yeah, I hadn't thought of it as
just overflowing. It's actually a good visual since I'm all
about envisioning things these days. But I picture it flowing
(11:50):
into me and flowing into others like his pain flowed
in and gave me hope, which is weird. It's okay,
keep it, That's what I mean. Ashley says here that
our pain will be redeemed not only in ourselves, but
also in the lives of others. We are able to
share and at the very least help someone not feel
(12:10):
alone and at the best to help them find their
own redemption and healing. Now, her email was way longer
than that, but I wanted to focus on that word
overflow and what your life can offer someone else. And
maybe that's something that you try to focus on this year,
because we're still at the beginning, We still have lots
(12:32):
of time left. Winter is not over bring hasn't even
come summer fall, which I have been wanting to rush
to get to that fall Christmas season already. I just
I put my all my Christmas stuff away last weekend,
and it's very sad. Ready to get it back out.
It's very sad. But while Ashley was referring to the
live podcast taping, some of the stuff doesn't even have
(12:55):
to be a public thing that you're sharing. You could
overflow into family and friends and someone else in your
life that might need to hear something, your story, your encouragement,
your hope. So thank you Ashley for sharing that with us,
because I think that's an important takeaway and why oftentimes
we do what we do, whether publicly or privately with
(13:18):
our people. I like that word. That word needs to
go on the vision board. Overflow. Okay, I'll cut it out.
A lot of times it's hard to find exactly words words,
so I have to cut it out and it looks
like a ransom letter. But like on my vision board
for the live event, worthy kept coming to mind, the
(13:38):
word that we're worthy of good things. I went to
a Little Girl's dinner the other night and a theme
was that, well, one of my friends said it, and
then it kind of resonated, so I say, it's a
theme I just keep hearing it from people, is that
I don't know if I deserve this good thing to
happen to me. Sit with that for a minute, and
sometimes then she went into self sabotage and different things
(14:00):
that she can end up doing, which I think we've
all been there or could easily be there. And so
just knowing that we do deserve good things and we
are worthy, and that's a word that keeps coming in mind.
I have no idea exactly what's gonna be talked about
at the live yet, but believing that I'm worthy and
you know, making sure others know that they're worthy, that's
(14:21):
something that keeps coming to mind. Who knows. But the
four things will be are exactly who the guests are
going to be or what that will look like. But Cat,
you're gonna be there, right, Yes? I like booked and
did all this stuff and then texted Cat and was like, oh, hey,
can you come? Do you have this weekend available? And
She's like, shoot, let me go check. And I'm like,
why am I such a ding dong? Of course? I
(14:42):
just I just thought, oh, yeah, cats available. But I
also know that that you and Patrick went to like
weddings last year, so you could have had a wedding
that you were going to that weekend, and we already
have three lined up this year. I thought we would
be done, see what I'm talking about. So luckily that
weekend is free. Okay, and Big Pea can be there too.
He better be there because he was on your podcast
(15:03):
for the first time, right, Yeah, well I was warming
him up. He just was on there for like a
couple of minutes. So y'all were talking about the bagel gate.
What happened because you cried over the bagel. Yeah, he
came and talked about and gave his perspective of what
he thought of me when that was happening, and I
thought he was going to be a little bit more harsh,
but he was just really nice. That's that's good. He
(15:26):
said he knew it wasn't about the bagel, even though
you didn't know it wasn't about the bagel yet. Okay,
And y'all had recorded that episode before you had the
mayonnaise game, because I was following that. Yes, So then
Friday night again I tried to do something nice for him.
Because he wasn't feeling good. So I went and got
him dinner, and then of course my meal was messed up,
and then he went back and got the right one
(15:49):
for me, except they messed it up two more times.
But I didn't cry, and I said to him when
I came home, I said, Patrick, I'm prepared for them
to have gotten my order wrong, and I'm not going
to cry. And then it was wrong, and just closed
my eyes and he said it's okay, and I said,
I know, it's just really frustrating. And he said, do
you want me to go get you the right sandwich?
And I said nothing, and then he said it again,
(16:09):
and I said, I actually, that's what I want, and
so we did it, and we would do it. I
asked for what I wanted, right, Yeah. I love that
you brought that part up, because you texted me that
I asked for what I wanted. And I think oftentimes
if someone's offering something to us, we don't want to
inconvenience them, even though we really would like that. I mean,
and he's your partner, he's your boyfriend. He wants to
(16:29):
do that for you if you wouldn't say it to him,
if you didn't want to go get it, and you
would want him to be honest. Of Hey, actually that
would be awesome because you do X y Z for me.
It doesn't have to be going back to get a
sandwich with no mayonnaise or whatever. But I guarantee you this,
I will never forget Cat's bagel. Order sesame bagel, seame
(16:51):
seed bagel, butter. Yep, that's really easy. But also I
have to add this. I did send an email to
the customer service speople, like, for whatever reason, it feels
so validated for me to do that. I just want
somebody to hear me. Okay, you need something to you.
I don't. I think I've talked about this at some
(17:12):
point before in life. I'm not proud of it, but
that reminds me of a time I don't know, back
in two thousand and eleven or so, I was living
in North Carolina and I ordered Mellow Mushroom Barbecue chicken
pizza and it comes with a barbecue swirl. It's so good,
And we went to go pick it up and got
(17:33):
home and there was no barbecue swirl. The best part
of the pizza, why you ordered it was the barbecue
swirld and it's almost as though I couldn't help myself
something to go for me, and I had to call.
I wasn't gonna do anything about it because I didn't
want another one. I wasn't going to drive back up there,
(17:53):
but I needed someone there to know that they forgot
my barbecue swirl. I was nice about it. Yeah, right,
But I guarantee you that they hung up from that
call and they're like, some woman just called here, and
she is crazy. Did they offer you anything? No, I
don't even think they really knew how to. Probably you said,
I don't want anything except for you to hear me
(18:16):
say that you got my order wrong. Yeah, there was
no barbecue swirl. I couldn't let go of the fact.
You would think I could have just taken a few
deep breaths and then like, okay, there's still barbecue sauce
in this pizza. It's the base. It's like it's just
an extra swirl. Yeah, it's so, it's the barbecue swirl
(18:37):
on top, and I wanted it. I wanted to see
the swirl, and so I was just so freaked out.
There was no barbecue sauce on it at all. No,
it's just the decoration. Yeah it was a barbecue chicken pizza,
(18:58):
a barbecue swirl. Yeah, right right. So I understand your
desire to want to email the customer service to let
them know that about the order being wrong in a
nice way, in a very nice way. There's ways to
go about it, to be kind, that could be helpful.
I did not need to call about the barbecue swirrel.
I don't know what was going on with me personally
(19:18):
at that time, maybe hormones. But it was a big deal.
Not a big deal, but not a proud moment in
looking back, not a big deal. But also we can
laugh about. It's a good story. And I think the
other thing is in the moments where I've sent these
more than one emails to these customer service people, I
think I'm bringing them a little bit of joy as well.
Like I like how the people read this email from
(19:42):
this girl who literally says, I know this isn't a
big deal. I just needs to be to hear me. Okay,
you bring up a good point, because I bet that
that person that I called, maybe this is a story
they get to tell over and over twelve years later. Hey, y'all,
one time, back in the day I worked in mellow
mushroom and this crazy lady called me because we forgot
(20:03):
to put her barbecue swirld. Yeah, maybe I am bringing
them storytelling and joy. Yeah, you're welcome, and then maybe
they feel a little less crazy when they hear crazy
people like us or something like that. Yeah, we overflowed
that into their lives. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you, all right.
(20:24):
Sherry my brain therapist, she does the neuro feedback on me.
She's my guest of this Thursday for the fourth Things
for this is the fisting, and that was actually called
four Things if I could speak, and I'm excited for
people to hear this episode. We talk a lot about
the brain and how we can rewire our brain, the
(20:46):
what the neuro feedback is doing to speed up that process,
how it's good to do alone or addition to talk therapy,
why water is so important for the brain, food the
foods we need to be eating for our brain. So
it's a great episode. But she also talks about the
importance of breathing for a brain breathwork, like not just
breathing the voluntary that we do, but like you were saying,
if I were to stop and just breathe, that you know,
(21:10):
maybe we wouldn't make phone calls. I still emailed after
I did the breathing now, okay, but helped me do
the email in a nicer way. Emails. I would see
emails better than a phone call when you're staring at
the pizza and you're like literally staring at the pizza
talking to them. I took no time, I took no breaths,
took nothing. I did the email before I ate my food. Okay,
(21:34):
well I don't. I Actually it's hard to even think
you didn't breathe. No, I think that the email if
I would have written it before I breathed, it would
have been a different email, you know. Yeah, yeah, so
that'll be uh this Thursday, if you want to check
that out. And then Cat, where can people find you
and your podcast on Instagram? You can find me at
(21:56):
at Cat dot de fata and at you Need Therapy Podcast.
Then you can listen to You Need Therapy podcast wherever
you like to listen to your podcasts. Yeah, however, you're
listening to this right now. Just click on over do
you Need Therapy and listen to Cat talk to her
boyfriend about the awesome girlfriend that she is. Uh. You
(22:17):
can hit up Radio Amy dot com and at Radio
Amy for more stuff about me that sounds weird. I
am I so awkward. I don't know. I wish that
Amy Brown dot com is available, but it's not. So
Brown a fairy artist or she did. I don't know.
Is her name Amy Brown? Her name is Amy Brown?
(22:39):
Because sometimes I get emails, emails, I get d N
saying do you still draw fairies? And I'm like, nope,
I sure don't. I Am not the fairy drawer. Okay,
So here she is Amy Brown dot com. I think
if you click on that, then I go to a
visit some website which now I'm scared to don't do it.
(23:01):
I don't know. I'm not going to cut a click
on it. But it used to show a bunch of
ferries when you went there, but something has changed on that.
So Radio Amy dot Com in the meantime still have
on my vision board. Uh And back to the original
quote of like it's part of my One of my
things that I've written down that we're working into reality
is updating the website more and posting blogs and sending
(23:25):
out newsletters and building our email. Not subscription, there's no subscription.
Oh do you know what I'm thinking about doing. Have
no idea Patreon? Wait? Really? Yeah, so tvt on that
that's exciting for listeners though they get more stuff. Yes,
it would be probably more video content and different things
(23:47):
that I get a lot of questions about. But yes,
there would be bonus content. My friend Gracey, well, Gracyklar
has come on the podcast multiple times. She was telling
me about it a long time ago because she signed
her husband Steve up for it, and they really enjoy
it and it's a great way to yes, get more
content out there and interact with listeners. And I have
(24:08):
also been encouraged by a few other friends to do
it that have signed up for different podcasts that they
listened to The Toast. I love that podcast, but I don't.
I haven't signed up for their patreons. Or maybe I should. Well,
I have a friend that pays seven dollars and ninety
nine a month to get extra content get toast a
lot of content on there. I do now because someone
(24:28):
like I want to listen to that episode. Maybe it's
a sign to do that. Well, maybe see it as
your sign your friends overflowing into me exactly, But I
don't know. I wouldn't. I don't think I would do
the seven ninety nine option. I think there's a five
dollar option or something like that. But that's another thing
that's on the in the works. And if you want
to send me an email, you can to four things
(24:49):
with Amy Brown at gmail dot com and the time
being sending me an email. There is a way to
help gather emails for like if I were to eventually
start doing a newsletter, and then I'll put something up
once I get that going to where if you sign
up or give me your email, like you'll get something
in return, Like it'll be worth it. It'll be worth it,
(25:11):
like there will be added value to it. And value
is another word that keeps coming in my mind, especially
with the live podcasts, is people are paying their heart
on money to be there, and I want it to
be a value to them. There's content you can get
all over the place, and so it means a lot
that someone would show up and want to be there
and spend money, but I want them to walk away
(25:33):
with something, So that's very important as well. So feedback
is great. I reached out to a few people on
Instagram that had were at the last live and asked
them for any constructive criticism or what they didn't like,
what they wish would have happened. And it was two
girls in particular, and they gave me really good feedback,
so I was very thankful for that. And I so
(25:54):
I was like, oh, maybe we need to build like
a focus group just so that people can really feel
like they're get the value there. So I hope you
are having the day that you need to have and
th episodes over. Just kidding, that's my computer. I guess
I'm getting a notification or a text or something. CAT
(26:15):
you the best,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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