July 25, 2024 • 32 mins
It's an ‘OG’ episode…4 random things ft. Amy & her niece, Adelyn! FIRST THING: Rare Skin Care Tips That You Should Know! Like wearing gloves while driving, brushing your teeth before skincare & washing your hands before you wash your face.
SECOND THING: Solo Dates for the Win!! Benefits of going on a solo date: Stress relief, Foster independence + confidence, Enhances creativity and problem solving, Appreciation for relationships, Meet new people, Self-discovery. Homework: Everyone go on a solo date and report back what they did and what it was like! Related to 'solo dates' is finding your 'third place'...Therapy Kat recently did an episode on 'third places' so click here to listen: Where Did All the Third Places Go?
THIRD THING: Have you heard this TIPP to quickly get out of ‘fight or flight’? TIPP skills (developed by Marsha Linehan) get your nervous system out of the sympathetic state (fight or flight) and into the parasympathetic state (rest and digest). T - Temperature - put an icepack on your face or dunk your face in cold water for about 30 secs. I - Intense Exercise- do some form of aerobic exercise for several minutes. P - Paced Breathing- slow your breathing. Inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 7 counts. P - Paired Muscle RElaxation- Tense and release each muscle group while you say “relax”. Amy & Adelyn also go over the 3 H’s Of Feeling: HEAR, HAVE & HELP (learn more HERE)
FOURTH THING: Amy wants to dig up her dad’s ashes after seeing a girl post on IG that she had smoothe white stones made out of her dad’s ashes. She was able to get 40-80 stones for everyone in the family to have. All you have to do is send your loved one’s ashes to Parting Stones and they will turn the ashes into stones! Cool, right?? I need my dad as a stone.
HOST: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST: Adelyn Dozier // @adelynedozier
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cats up road Man, little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful. That for a little
more said your kicking with four Thing with Amy Brown.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here, and I've got my
niece Adeline joining me. And this is going to be
an O G style four Things episode.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Oh yeah, do you know what a G style is?
Going back to the roots.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Which would be four totally different topics. I mean, we're
going to talk everything from rare skincare tips to a
tip that really is tip t P pete t I
P P a tip tip, solo dates and and also well,
why I think that my sister and I and well
(01:05):
our half sister and half brother we might need to
go dig up.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Papal because I have a plan.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We'll get to that.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I saw something on Instagram, and if you have a
loved one or you're planning for your future in that way,
there's just something really cool that I saw that. I'm like, dang,
I wish I would have known about this. You ready
to get into it, Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Let's go first.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So there's the obvious skincare tips that we know, like
wash your face every morning, and every night.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I still have friends up.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Did you know you're not supposed to wash your face
in the morning? Who said that my roommates are skincare
gurus to the max. My whole skin care routine is
now for my three roommates, and one of them has
taught me that you put on your skincare in the
night and then you don't wash it off in the
morning because it takes off all of the oils and
then it makes your face keep overproducing oil. Could you
(02:03):
keep washing it off? So I stopped washing my face
in the morning.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Okay, you're twenty one, so your skin is very different
than mine. At forty, I feel like I have my
nighttime products and I have my morning products, and I
agree we don't want to strip it of the oil.
I used to not appreciate my oily skin, but I
guess I have more of a combo. But I was
always blotting and trying to get rid of my oil.
(02:27):
So I'm with you on the you don't want to
strip your face of the oil. But that is interesting.
I used to actually speaking of oil. In my late
twenties early thirties, I went through a phase where I
was washing my face with oil, cast your oil, and
that's it, and I feel wasn't work. Maybe I was
(02:48):
doing it at night and then maybe rinsing with water
in the morning. I don't really remember hating it, but
for some reason I didn't keep it up, so there
must have been something going.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
To each their own about how they want to handle
yet just tire skincare routine.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
But these are just some.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Rare skincare tips that you probably don't think about, Like
wearing gloves while driving.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
This is going to keep.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Your skin safe from sun related aging and potential harm
from UV rays because if you think about it, your
hands are on the steering wheel and the sun is coming.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
They're driving so much sun.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's why I always have so much freckles on my wrists.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
We have freckles everywhere Adelin.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, they are everywhere. I see. Your wrists are yours aging.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I feel like my hands are aging and starting to
get your gloves age spots that I remember seeing on
my grandma and my great grandma, and so I notice those.
And when I look at my hands now, I see
my mom. So the aging doesn't bother me as much
because I like that I get to see her in me.
(03:59):
But I'll say I put my skincare products. Anything that's
left over, I immediately put the rest on my hands,
Like I don't wipe it on.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
A towel or a rag. Oh, I put it on
my hand.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, and apparently we should be wearing gloves we're driving.
To answer your question, I do not currently wear gloves.
These are just skincare tips that I think we all
should know about. And I have seen pictures you can
google it of people that are in the car, often
like truck drivers, for example, since the left side of
(04:31):
their face is in the windows all day getting sun.
They've documented as they age the left side of their
face has more sun damage than the right.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So is there a thing for that? Maybe they wear
their hat sideways.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Or sunscreen wall, sunscreen they drive, or yeah, ski mask,
Yeah while you drive. Brush your teeth before doing skincare.
This helps avoid spreading toothpaste, a residue which can irritate
your skin and cause breakouts, especially around the mouth area.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I don't know that I had ever thought about that.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
One.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Wash your hands before washing your face. This prevents any
transfer of bacteria, which can cause acne and skin infections.
I definitely don't pre wash my hands before I wash
my face, like I might go from to doing who
knows what, to washing my face.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Cat pie to washing my face.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
I never thought about that.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
We've been cleaning up cat pie all week long from Maggie.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
For some reason.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
She has taken a liking to any basket in the
house and has decided, Oh, that's a basket. It's in
the shape of my litter box, so now I'm going
to pee in it. But I think we've found them all,
and we bought some enzyme spray that you put on
wherever your.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Animal has peed. You can spray it with this enzyme
so that they.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Forget that they peede there, because apparently once she peels
in a cute little basket, once she wants to go back,
she may go back, but not if you have the
enzyme spray. And then back to face stuff too, something
I do. I don't pre wash my hands, but I
sort of pre wash my face with that water.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
The what's it.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Called micocellular water?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I don't yeah, I don't, you.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Guys know what we're talking about.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
I don't know how to say it. But it looks
like water and it's in a bottle.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Okay, so that's like washing pre washing your face and
kind of your hands. I have a hard time touching
my face before I wash my hands because I feel like, oh,
I'm gonna get a pimple, but I break out really
easily skin.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yes, yeah, Well, the whatever this water and the jug is,
I put it on a little cotton swab and then
I wipe my face down to get the first layer
of sunscreen or intell a shade or my makeup or
whatever off, and then I'll wash my face, but my
hands might be full of who knows what, who cares,
no big deal, you know. Dolly Parton wears gloves all
(07:05):
the time.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
They're nude colored.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Whenever we interviewed her, I remember thinking, she has gloves
on her hands, but that's her thing, like she's got.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Stuff she wants to choose.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Say why, Well, we didn't ask her, but I've googled
it before and it just says that she wears them
to cover up scars or tattoos, stuff that she doesn't
like on her hands and her wrists. And sometimes they
nude colored. Other times they are bedazzled, and there's just
(07:38):
stones like flirting on.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Her maybe we get you some bedazzled gloves to wear
when you drive around.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I'm going to get some driving gloves. I mean, don't
knock it till you try it. People might be onto something.
I mean, in the future, they're going to know so
much more and people are going to be like.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
How do you not drive without your hand?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Who?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Second?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
All right? So have you ever taken yourself on a
solo date?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Not like sit down restaurant, But I've taken myself on
little hikes.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I think that that counts, or coffeehop, coffee shop with
a book and being intentional about alone time, a little
solo date in the middle of the day perhaps, or
at night, or take yourself to the movies or whatever.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
It looks like.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I just saw this whole article about solo dates and
how it can be really good for our mental health.
These are the benefits of going on a solo date. Okay,
you're ready stress relief, You foster independence and confidence. It
enhances creativity and problem solving. You have an appreciation for relationships.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Like gosh, I feel so lonely.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
You meet new people because when you're solo, you may
have certain conversations with people right that you may not
otherwise be more available, and then there's self discovery that happens.
So those are the benefits of going on a solo date.
So I have a little challenge or homework for us
and for listeners, and the challenge is to take.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yourself on a solo date. Report back how did it go.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Maybe get your friends to all go do it, and
then maybe you go from solo date to group date.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Can you go on a pre date? You go solo,
but then meet up with people.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Maybe me and you should go out to dinner and
then go.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And then split up and go get dessert by ourselves.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, Oh, I was thinking, we just picked the same restaurant,
but you sit over there and I'll sit on the
other side, and it'll be a solo date, but we
can ride together.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh that would be That.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Wouldn't really foster independence and confidence. Earlier I was doing
some stuff outside and I walked in and you and
stay We're sitting on the couch playing guitar. And then
an hour went by, You got up, got on the
phone with your boyfriend. I was doing something else. And
then speaking of just fostering independence and enhancing creativity, you
(10:14):
sparking that in her the sitting down at guitar and
teaching her how to tune it, and you showed her
something on the phone.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
I don't know, but she was down there.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
By herself for She's probably still doing it over.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
An hour, Yeah, which was really special to SEEZ like
she was on her own little solo date in the
living room with her guitar. You maybe don't even have
to leave your house to go on a little date.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I will say that doing things alone has always been
kind of a struggle for me. I remember even when
I first got to Nashville. We were walking one time
and I told you about how I'm not really good
at being alone, and it's something that I'd gotten better
at since going to college, but I'm still learning because
I tend to get anxious and worked up. I don't feel,
like you said, a stress relief, Like I want to
(10:57):
get to a point where I feel confident enough to
go to things by myself and not let it bring
up anxious feelings within me because I just like being.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Around people all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
But like the idea of going to dinner by myself
sounds anxiety inducing.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
But I know it doesn't have to feel like that.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Maybe don't do dinner.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
If the challenges and the homework is to take yourself
on a solo date. Since you've done the hike, let's
roll that out and do a mid day thirty minute
coffee situation.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's something I could do.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And then you're putting your toe in the water, and
then maybe you can make it to you know, a lunch,
and then you can make it to a dinner.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
But yeah, the one ideals.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I do so many things by myself, but it's not
like I often set be like, Okay, I'm gonna set
this time to go take myself.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
On a date.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
But that's something we should do well, drive to drive
somewhere together, split our different ways.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
One of my friends was telling me a while back
she actually works with Therapy Cat and she was talking
about how the best way to meet people.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It's worked for her.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
She says she's gone on several dates the times that
she has gone to a bar by herself with a book.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
A bar, a journal, a book.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That would be you.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Not Broadway on Broadway Street, No, a nicer restaurant bar
like some people are sitting at tables and then you
can go get a seat.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
At the bar like a hotel, bar, restaurant, something nice,
not home.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
More quiet.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah not Morgan Wallen's not where I was last week. Yes,
not where you're hanging out. But she would go sit
at the bar, order a glass of wine or something,
and have her book and she said she would have
the most interesting conversations with people. Should do that, and
that she ended up getting dates from it, and then
it's a great way to people. And I haven't had
(13:02):
the courage to do that yet.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I'll drop you off at a bar.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I'm not going with my book.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
So but that would be a solo date with the
intention of seeing who I meet, not just fostering independence.
But I guess I could kill two birds with one stone,
because it did say one of the benefits is you
do meet new people, so it's not all about just
being alone the entire time. Yeah, And I don't know
that you can drop me off because I have to
(13:32):
have my independence and I have to problem solve, like
I have to figure out how I'm going to get
myself here and what I'm gonna do, who I'm going
to be.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I could be anybody I want.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Okay, well you should do that this week.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Go late at night, act like I'm somebody different.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Ask for tea at the bar.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Thursday.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
All right.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
For this thing, we're going to talk about TIPP. It's
a tip but with two p's, and it's for when
you're trying to quickly get out of fight or flight.
But we're also going to talk about the three h's
of feeling. So which would you want to do first,
t IPP or three ages of feeling?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
It's your call. Adelin TIPP, we'll go t IPP.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
So this is something that'll again get your nervous system
out of fight or flight, which is the sympathetic state.
And what you want to do at that time is
you want to get back into a parasympathetic state so
you can rest and digest. I've talked about this a
lot with Leanne Ellington. She's very into your sympathetic and
(14:48):
parasympathetic state. She co hosts Outweigh with Me, which is
the Saturday episodes.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
On Body Image.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
The TIPP it's an acronym t IPP and the T
is for temperature. What you can do is put an
ice pack on your face or dunk your face in
cold water for about thirty seconds and that will help
reset things.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Put you from sympathetic to parasympathetic.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
That's what the tea will do.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And then the eye is intense exercise. Do something you
do that of aerobic exercise for several minutes. I mean
I haven't really done that lately. I probably do more
of like the cold. I've stuck my face into an
ice bath before. I mean, I've you cold plunged today
cold plunge, I uh.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
As it was leaking cryotherapy.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
I like the cold.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I like the shocking of my system and stimulating my
vagus nerve, which that can help get you up.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yesterday, you did an intense workout when me and Stushier
were making spaghetti in the kitchen and you were using
your three pound pink dumbbells.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, so I wouldn't call that intense. And actually I
wasn't working out. I was doing my brain exercises. I
was taking my right arm to my left knee with
my dumb bell and then my left arm to my
right knee when you cross the right and the left
and the upper and the lower, because that's.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
What doing when that happens.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Me and Stushier were just trying to cook dinner and
greater prommers on cheese.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
That helps my brain. I was doing my exercises. It's
called brain jim. Look it up on YouTube. Maybe it's
jumping jacks, pushups. If you have a mini trampoline, I
like to bounce on mine like a rebounder.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I have that.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I think I initially bought that because my mom used
to have a mini trampoline and I was she did yeah,
very into that as a kid.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Shed keep it in the living room. She did Jane Fonda.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
This is before she worked, because when my parents were
still married, she was a stay at home mom and
I remember watching her do Jane Fonda in the living
room all the time. And then when my dad left,
she got a full time job and I didn't really
ever see her.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
She didn't get back on the tramp often.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
She was very busy.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Okay, p paste breathing. Slow your breathing. You can inhale
for four counts, excel for seven counts, whatever type of
breathing works for you. There's box breathing four four four.
We know that breathing can be very impactful. And then
the final p is paired muscle relaxation. And this is
(17:22):
where you tense and release each muscle group while you
say the words relax.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Oh, I could see you doing this.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Oh I was gonna say, I could see your mom
doing this.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Well, she does a lot of the other p the
paste breathing where when we're driving and there's traffic, she'll
get into the.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Well. Yes, because her brain, and she's been this way
since we were kids. She likes to think of all
the scenarios and then her brain will focus on worst
case scenario, and then she'll feel like she's having a
premonition of whatever bad is about to happen. Yes, and
it does doesn't happen. I'm like, stop thinking about that.
(18:02):
Why are you thinking about it now? You're inviting it.
Like when there's a pole and you're driving and you
keep thinking, I don't want to hit the pole. I
don't want to hit the pole. I don't want to
hit the pole. You're more likely to hit the pole
because you're focusing.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
On the pole.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah, that is mom, sometimes. Yeah, I can think of
so many examples.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yes, so Mom, sister Ceci, if you're listening to this
Christy Dozer, you gotta stop do tints so like get
really really tight and then release and then when you release.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
It say really relax.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
G ipp, I'll be trying these things.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Yeah, those are four things that you can do, which
you know sometimes when we're feeling a lot, that's when
we can enter fight, flight, freeze because we're like, oh,
I actually don't want to feel this anymore. This is
a lot, so I'm going to run away, I'm going
to freeze, or I'm going to fight against it. But
these are things that you can do when you have
(19:03):
feelings going on. It's called the three hs of feeling,
and the first stage is here, hear the feeling. To
discover what you're feeling, pay attention to your thoughts, the
words you're speaking, and the actions you're taking. The second
H is have have the feeling, let yourself feel the
emotion in your body, notice how you're breathing, what muscles
(19:26):
you're tensing, and how you're moving. And then the final
H is help the feeling. Help the feeling express itself,
talk it out, write it out, move it out, cry
it out. Do what feels good as long as it's
safe to physically process it. And I like those two
things going together because we have lots of feelings and
(19:47):
I think it's important.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
To not stuff them down. That's how your mom and I.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Grew up brush everything under the rug. Yeah, that's what
we did in our house. A lot was what was
modeled for us. I'm I couldn't be more opposite. I
sometimes default to that because it's what I was modeled
and it's what I know. But it goes against everything
that I want. And I can be like a really
(20:12):
big feeler and have a lot of emotions. But then
there's times where that comes in handy of like nothing
to see here.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Swipe this under this CAPI rug, move on with my day. Okay, Wait,
two questions for the have of the feeling. Do you
notice what you tense up or weird weird habits you
have when you're going through like a breakdown, or feel
something happening like mine is unconsciously picking at my fingers.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
My throat starts to tense up. I feel in my throat.
I know that something is off when I start to
have that feeling. And then I know now what the
anxiety feels like in my chest, and I can recognize
that because when I first started having it, I didn't know,
and I went to the hospital and got an echo cardiogram,
(21:02):
and then they didn't tell me how much that was
gonna cost. And also I didn't ask, but it was
a lot of money for them to tell me nothing's
wrong with my heart. And I was having anxiety, and
I was.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Like, cool, y'all should have a menu with prices, because
like that that.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Would help me decide if I was going to get
that scan or not. So, yeah, so you pick your fingers,
do you have anything else? I'll pick up my face,
but only if your hands are clean.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Unless I'm like really stressed or overwhelmed. And then I
do it without knowing, and I know that something Mom
does also, she'll sit there and pick at her face.
We both do the same thing. But some of my
friends they pull out their hair.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Oh I do that too.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I've never resorted to that.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Mine is right back here. I have a little spot.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
My hair person has even warned me before, like, Amy,
you need to get that under control. Actually, when I
was in college, it was really bad. In my roommate Juliana,
she pointed it out to me, like you're pulling your
hair out all the time, and I was like, I
thought everybody did this, but I guess not. And it's
this only little spot right back here. I'm like, oh,
(22:11):
I'm satisfying.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
The hair is more coarse there. It just feels.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Different or something, and then it's satisfying. And I've gotten
to where I can just sort of pull at it.
You may even now that I'm telling you, notice when
I'm doing it. But I don't rip it out as
often anymore. I can get I don't know, thrill. Sounds weird,
but I can get the thrill of it by pulling through.
And then occasionally I'm like and I go for it,
(22:36):
and I rip it out and I'm like, ah, and
then I hold it in my hand and.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
This is too far.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I hold the piece of hair in between my finger
and then I sort of beet it.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
But it's the same sensation you were so weird. This
isn't weird.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
This is a this is a I don't have it there.
It is a disease.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
And there's medicine for a.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Trickam and niasis or something.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
And I have heard it. Yeah, I have a.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Very minor because I feel for people that pull all
of their hair out or their eyebrows or their eyelashes
or anywhere they have hair and it's eyelashes.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I've heard of that too. Yeah, Oh that sounds terrible.
I fiddle with my hands like I'll pop my knuckles.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Just did it mess with my nails?
Speaker 3 (23:26):
You pop your neck a lot too. We had a
chiropractor on the Bobby Bone Show that was talking about
how he sees a lot of younger people, teenagers and
probably your generation that do that because of how y'all
have been with phones and tablets and stuff and you
always bent over. Yeah, and that y'all self adjust. And
(23:46):
he was saying, it's not great, but I'm not trying
to scare you, but I see you do it. I
think of what he said, and then I'm like, oh, shoot, stop.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Well you should start calling me out, So then I.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Just stop, well, okay, and I'll you out.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'll call you out on your neck popping if you
call me out on my hair petting.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Thing.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
So the reason why I mentioned in the little intro
that I want to dig up Papa's ashes is because
I saw these stones that are made out of ashes.
Someone on Instagram was holding up this really smooth, beautiful
white stone and she's like, this is my dad. But
it wasn't just one stone. You can make up to
(24:45):
eighty stones from one person.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Are they tiny? Like pebbles.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, they're little, little little rocks. Yeah, I'm sure they
can vary in size. But it was a very soft, smooth,
pretty white stone. And she said, but it was really
cool because he wanted to be spread in this one lake,
and that they had so many stones they were able
to pass it out to his grandkids and everybody got
a pebble and they threw them in the lake. And
(25:12):
then she keeps some like in her garden. They're scattered about,
and then she also has some that she will pick
up and just rub with her hand when she's, you know,
dealing with anxiety or missing him or anything like that.
Something smooth, she rubs the stone and I just thought
this is really cool. She said, there's only one company
(25:34):
in the world that does it. I think it's called
Parting Stones. All I know is we cremated dad, but
we didn't spread his ashes anywhere. We put him in
a box and we buried him in the ground.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Is that a common thing that people do?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I think normally when you're cremated, I guess maybe you
get put in one of those walls, or you get
spread somewhere. But we buried him because he had a
little plot.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
But he wanted to be cremated.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Now our mom, she's in a casket. Which have you
ever thought about what you would prefer?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I think cremated, Okay, I want to be made in
I want to be made into diamonds. Okay, give them
to my.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Kids, Okay in a ring. Mom has a ring.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh no, it's one of Marmy's old stones that she
got reset. It's this spring she wears on her pinky.
But it's not from like ashes or anything. I think
it's just one of Marmy's old stones that dad had
reset for her in a really pretty band.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I have the pinky one. And then yeah, she got
the like I got the band. So Mom's wedding ring
was a gold band with a diamond, and when Mom died,
we were dividing up everything, and I was like, oh,
I love this gold band. I don't really care much
about diamonds, and Christy's like, well, I don't really care
about diamonds either, but this would look really cool with
(26:54):
my set. And so yeah, then Herbin reset it and
your dad so we took it to a jeweler and
they split it up for us, so that way we
both have part of the wedding band.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
So that was a special way to divvy that up.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Just throwing that out there for anybody else that is
dividing up any types of things, like jewelers can make
it to where everybody can have a piece of something,
And I think that's important to keep in mind. If
you're like, oh, there's only this one awesome piece of jewelry,
and maybe there's a way y'all can make it work
to where everybody can have a little something from the
(27:29):
awesome piece of jewelry and parting stones. Keep that in mind,
because I'm tempted to dig pop all up.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Could you even do that? Yeah? You could go and
get a shovel.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I mean, I think I would talk to the grave side.
I mean, he's buried in Dilley, Texas. There's somebody that's
running the cemetery, I'm sure, but it's a very small town.
It can't be hard to track down. And then we
go to the plot and we get the box and
maybe we even just take some of the ashes, uh huh,
and have them sent off to parting Stones and made
(28:05):
into the stones.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
And then everyone can get a stone, yeah, and have
a piece of him.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
What that would be that this is like the best plan.
I mean, and we buried him, gosh, just over three
years ago.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
The ashes are still there doing their thing. They're safely
in the box I tried. I cremated him here in
Nashville and flew with the ashes to Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Oh my, and carried them, just held them on the plane.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah, in your purse.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
I think they're in a bag on my carry on.
I didn't check them.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
There's been stories I know of people who have had
their ashes thrown away because the security thinks it's drugs.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Lunch Box has had a friend this is from a
long time ago in Austin whose car was broken into
and stuff was stolen and ashes were part of what
was taken. Oh my gosh, it's like, oh, sometimes you
can't even tell what that is like. You might open
up and be like, I have no idea, what is
this a bunch of dust, dirt, drugs, dirty cocaine there.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Yeah, we're feel like we're ending on a a.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Really positive note.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I asked my twenty one year old niece how she
wants to be buried, So I don't want to put
that energy out there. We're not seeing the pole. That's like,
we're looking for the pole. We're looking for the pole.
We're going to hit the pole. You're alive and well
and thriving.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, we're doing good, Tipp. We're doing good.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Tipp was the one three healing, three h.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
The three h's of feelings.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You've taught me a lot tonight.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Well, I think that we've all taught each other a lot.
I've learned so much from you having you here. I'm
very sad that we're nearing the end, and I loved
having you on every episode.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
In June, and it only.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Seemed appropriate to have you on this week. Last week's
your final, final weeks. I feel like she I might
have to have you back again. I'm just going to
miss you so much, and not for stuff. This part's
just icing on the cake. I've learned from you when
we've had these chats, but also just daily watching.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
How you are, who you are, how you.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Interact and even if some of it is coming from
a place of anxiety and you not wanting to be
alone and you needing to have a plan, I've learned
a lot watching you make plans and be intentional and
make connection and be out of your room and having
your friends come visit. There's been a lot of friends
(30:30):
in and out of here. I love how you've included
Stashira with you and your girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, that's been the funnest part. Okay, this will help.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Us end on a high note.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
The other night, y'all went to Target and got some
crafts and then came back tell everybody what y'all did.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Because I was asleep, But.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
When I woke up in the morning, y'all had made
the cutest little frames. It seemed like such a fun activity.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
We went.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
We just went to Target and we all bought picture frames.
I had two friends from out of town and then Stashira,
and then we got like many little cars, and we
all wrote each other little notes and then put them
in the picture frame, and we pressed flowers. I press
Baby's breath, my favorite flower, and stashi Are printed out
a bunch of polaroids from her little polaroid camera and
(31:13):
put those in the frame. And it was such a
good little keepsake, like a souvenir from the trip. It's
like an easy fun craft to do with friends.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
I just wanted to throw that out. There was a recommendation,
and that helps us end on a positive note of
maybe you even do that with yourself.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
That could be a solo date.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Take yourself to target, get a picture frame, get some
cute things. Yes, yeah, so your solo date doesn't have
to be in public, although that should be solo date
number two.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Although I will be taking Amy to a bar with
a book and dropping her.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
We'll report back TBD.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Hope y'all are having the day that you need to
have and see a Saturday for out way next Tuesday
for the fifth thing. And I want to shout out
cats podcast you need Therapy because since we talked about
solo dates, she did an episode earlier this week called
Where Did all the Third Places Go? And she's talking
all about third places and how we should have a
(32:11):
third place, Like your home is your first place, your
job is your second place. So what is your third place?
Because we're supposed to have it outside. Yeah, for some
people it.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Might be that.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, if I had one.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
So I would encourage you all to check out her podcast.
She has a lot of good episodes up there again.
It's called Unied Therapy and Adeline is on Instagram Adeline E.
Doser and I am at Radio Amy Bye Bye,
Cats up road Man, little food for yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Life.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Oh it's pretty bad.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, it's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful. That for a little
more said your kicking with four Thing with Amy Brown.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Happy Thursday, four Things Amy here, and I've got my
niece Adeline joining me. And this is going to be
an O G style four Things episode.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Oh yeah, do you know what a G style is?
Going back to the roots.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Which would be four totally different topics. I mean, we're
going to talk everything from rare skincare tips to a
tip that really is tip t P pete t I
P P a tip tip, solo dates and and also well,
why I think that my sister and I and well
(01:05):
our half sister and half brother we might need to
go dig up.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
Papal because I have a plan.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
We'll get to that.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
I saw something on Instagram, and if you have a
loved one or you're planning for your future in that way,
there's just something really cool that I saw that. I'm like, dang,
I wish I would have known about this. You ready
to get into it, Let's do it.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Let's go first.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
So there's the obvious skincare tips that we know, like
wash your face every morning, and every night.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I still have friends up.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Did you know you're not supposed to wash your face
in the morning? Who said that my roommates are skincare
gurus to the max. My whole skin care routine is
now for my three roommates, and one of them has
taught me that you put on your skincare in the
night and then you don't wash it off in the
morning because it takes off all of the oils and
then it makes your face keep overproducing oil. Could you
(02:03):
keep washing it off? So I stopped washing my face
in the morning.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Okay, you're twenty one, so your skin is very different
than mine. At forty, I feel like I have my
nighttime products and I have my morning products, and I
agree we don't want to strip it of the oil.
I used to not appreciate my oily skin, but I
guess I have more of a combo. But I was
always blotting and trying to get rid of my oil.
(02:27):
So I'm with you on the you don't want to
strip your face of the oil. But that is interesting.
I used to actually speaking of oil. In my late
twenties early thirties, I went through a phase where I
was washing my face with oil, cast your oil, and
that's it, and I feel wasn't work. Maybe I was
(02:48):
doing it at night and then maybe rinsing with water
in the morning. I don't really remember hating it, but
for some reason I didn't keep it up, so there
must have been something going.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
Wrong with it.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
To each their own about how they want to handle
yet just tire skincare routine.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
But these are just some.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Rare skincare tips that you probably don't think about, Like
wearing gloves while driving.
Speaker 4 (03:16):
This is going to keep.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Your skin safe from sun related aging and potential harm
from UV rays because if you think about it, your
hands are on the steering wheel and the sun is coming.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
They're driving so much sun.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's why I always have so much freckles on my wrists.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
We have freckles everywhere Adelin.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, they are everywhere. I see. Your wrists are yours aging.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I feel like my hands are aging and starting to
get your gloves age spots that I remember seeing on
my grandma and my great grandma, and so I notice those.
And when I look at my hands now, I see
my mom. So the aging doesn't bother me as much
because I like that I get to see her in me.
(03:59):
But I'll say I put my skincare products. Anything that's
left over, I immediately put the rest on my hands,
Like I don't wipe it on.
Speaker 4 (04:06):
A towel or a rag. Oh, I put it on
my hand.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Interesting.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, and apparently we should be wearing gloves we're driving.
To answer your question, I do not currently wear gloves.
These are just skincare tips that I think we all
should know about. And I have seen pictures you can
google it of people that are in the car, often
like truck drivers, for example, since the left side of
(04:31):
their face is in the windows all day getting sun.
They've documented as they age the left side of their
face has more sun damage than the right.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
So is there a thing for that? Maybe they wear
their hat sideways.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Or sunscreen wall, sunscreen they drive, or yeah, ski mask,
Yeah while you drive. Brush your teeth before doing skincare.
This helps avoid spreading toothpaste, a residue which can irritate
your skin and cause breakouts, especially around the mouth area.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
I don't know that I had ever thought about that.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
One.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
Wash your hands before washing your face. This prevents any
transfer of bacteria, which can cause acne and skin infections.
I definitely don't pre wash my hands before I wash
my face, like I might go from to doing who
knows what, to washing my face.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Cat pie to washing my face.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
I never thought about that.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
We've been cleaning up cat pie all week long from Maggie.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
For some reason.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
She has taken a liking to any basket in the
house and has decided, Oh, that's a basket. It's in
the shape of my litter box, so now I'm going
to pee in it. But I think we've found them all,
and we bought some enzyme spray that you put on
wherever your.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
Animal has peed. You can spray it with this enzyme
so that they.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Forget that they peede there, because apparently once she peels
in a cute little basket, once she wants to go back,
she may go back, but not if you have the
enzyme spray. And then back to face stuff too, something
I do. I don't pre wash my hands, but I
sort of pre wash my face with that water.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
The what's it.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Called micocellular water?
Speaker 4 (06:21):
I don't yeah, I don't, you.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Guys know what we're talking about.
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I don't know why.
Speaker 3 (06:24):
I don't know how to say it. But it looks
like water and it's in a bottle.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Okay, so that's like washing pre washing your face and
kind of your hands. I have a hard time touching
my face before I wash my hands because I feel like, oh,
I'm gonna get a pimple, but I break out really
easily skin.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Yes, yeah, Well, the whatever this water and the jug is,
I put it on a little cotton swab and then
I wipe my face down to get the first layer
of sunscreen or intell a shade or my makeup or
whatever off, and then I'll wash my face, but my
hands might be full of who knows what, who cares,
no big deal, you know. Dolly Parton wears gloves all
(07:05):
the time.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
They're nude colored.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
Whenever we interviewed her, I remember thinking, she has gloves
on her hands, but that's her thing, like she's got.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
Stuff she wants to choose.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Say why, Well, we didn't ask her, but I've googled
it before and it just says that she wears them
to cover up scars or tattoos, stuff that she doesn't
like on her hands and her wrists. And sometimes they
nude colored. Other times they are bedazzled, and there's just
(07:38):
stones like flirting on.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Her maybe we get you some bedazzled gloves to wear
when you drive around.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
I'm going to get some driving gloves. I mean, don't
knock it till you try it. People might be onto something.
I mean, in the future, they're going to know so
much more and people are going to be like.
Speaker 4 (07:54):
How do you not drive without your hand?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Who?
Speaker 3 (08:01):
Second?
Speaker 4 (08:04):
All right? So have you ever taken yourself on a
solo date?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Not like sit down restaurant, But I've taken myself on
little hikes.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I think that that counts, or coffeehop, coffee shop with
a book and being intentional about alone time, a little
solo date in the middle of the day perhaps, or
at night, or take yourself to the movies or whatever.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
It looks like.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I just saw this whole article about solo dates and
how it can be really good for our mental health.
These are the benefits of going on a solo date. Okay,
you're ready stress relief, You foster independence and confidence. It
enhances creativity and problem solving. You have an appreciation for relationships.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Like gosh, I feel so lonely.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
You meet new people because when you're solo, you may
have certain conversations with people right that you may not
otherwise be more available, and then there's self discovery that happens.
So those are the benefits of going on a solo date.
So I have a little challenge or homework for us
and for listeners, and the challenge is to take.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yourself on a solo date. Report back how did it go.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Maybe get your friends to all go do it, and
then maybe you go from solo date to group date.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Can you go on a pre date? You go solo,
but then meet up with people.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Maybe me and you should go out to dinner and
then go.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
And then split up and go get dessert by ourselves.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
Okay, Oh, I was thinking, we just picked the same restaurant,
but you sit over there and I'll sit on the
other side, and it'll be a solo date, but we
can ride together.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Oh that would be That.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
Wouldn't really foster independence and confidence. Earlier I was doing
some stuff outside and I walked in and you and
stay We're sitting on the couch playing guitar. And then
an hour went by, You got up, got on the
phone with your boyfriend. I was doing something else. And
then speaking of just fostering independence and enhancing creativity, you
(10:14):
sparking that in her the sitting down at guitar and
teaching her how to tune it, and you showed her
something on the phone.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
I don't know, but she was down there.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
By herself for She's probably still doing it over.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
An hour, Yeah, which was really special to SEEZ like
she was on her own little solo date in the
living room with her guitar. You maybe don't even have
to leave your house to go on a little date.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
I will say that doing things alone has always been
kind of a struggle for me. I remember even when
I first got to Nashville. We were walking one time
and I told you about how I'm not really good
at being alone, and it's something that I'd gotten better
at since going to college, but I'm still learning because
I tend to get anxious and worked up. I don't feel,
like you said, a stress relief, Like I want to
(10:57):
get to a point where I feel confident enough to
go to things by myself and not let it bring
up anxious feelings within me because I just like being.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Around people all the time.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
But like the idea of going to dinner by myself
sounds anxiety inducing.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
But I know it doesn't have to feel like that.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Maybe don't do dinner.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
If the challenges and the homework is to take yourself
on a solo date. Since you've done the hike, let's
roll that out and do a mid day thirty minute
coffee situation.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's something I could do.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
And then you're putting your toe in the water, and
then maybe you can make it to you know, a lunch,
and then you can make it to a dinner.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
But yeah, the one ideals.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
I do so many things by myself, but it's not
like I often set be like, Okay, I'm gonna set
this time to go take myself.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
On a date.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
But that's something we should do well, drive to drive
somewhere together, split our different ways.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
One of my friends was telling me a while back
she actually works with Therapy Cat and she was talking
about how the best way to meet people.
Speaker 4 (12:04):
It's worked for her.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
She says she's gone on several dates the times that
she has gone to a bar by herself with a book.
Speaker 4 (12:13):
A bar, a journal, a book.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That would be you.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Not Broadway on Broadway Street, No, a nicer restaurant bar
like some people are sitting at tables and then you
can go get a seat.
Speaker 3 (12:32):
At the bar like a hotel, bar, restaurant, something nice,
not home.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
More quiet.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah not Morgan Wallen's not where I was last week. Yes,
not where you're hanging out. But she would go sit
at the bar, order a glass of wine or something,
and have her book and she said she would have
the most interesting conversations with people. Should do that, and
that she ended up getting dates from it, and then
it's a great way to people. And I haven't had
(13:02):
the courage to do that yet.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
I'll drop you off at a bar.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I'm not going with my book.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
So but that would be a solo date with the
intention of seeing who I meet, not just fostering independence.
But I guess I could kill two birds with one stone,
because it did say one of the benefits is you
do meet new people, so it's not all about just
being alone the entire time. Yeah, And I don't know
that you can drop me off because I have to
(13:32):
have my independence and I have to problem solve, like
I have to figure out how I'm going to get
myself here and what I'm gonna do, who I'm going
to be.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I could be anybody I want.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Okay, well you should do that this week.
Speaker 4 (13:45):
Go late at night, act like I'm somebody different.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Ask for tea at the bar.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Thursday.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
All right.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
For this thing, we're going to talk about TIPP. It's
a tip but with two p's, and it's for when
you're trying to quickly get out of fight or flight.
But we're also going to talk about the three h's
of feeling. So which would you want to do first,
t IPP or three ages of feeling?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
It's your call. Adelin TIPP, we'll go t IPP.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
So this is something that'll again get your nervous system
out of fight or flight, which is the sympathetic state.
And what you want to do at that time is
you want to get back into a parasympathetic state so
you can rest and digest. I've talked about this a
lot with Leanne Ellington. She's very into your sympathetic and
(14:48):
parasympathetic state. She co hosts Outweigh with Me, which is
the Saturday episodes.
Speaker 4 (14:53):
On Body Image.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
The TIPP it's an acronym t IPP and the T
is for temperature. What you can do is put an
ice pack on your face or dunk your face in
cold water for about thirty seconds and that will help
reset things.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Put you from sympathetic to parasympathetic.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
That's what the tea will do.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
And then the eye is intense exercise. Do something you
do that of aerobic exercise for several minutes. I mean
I haven't really done that lately. I probably do more
of like the cold. I've stuck my face into an
ice bath before. I mean, I've you cold plunged today
cold plunge, I uh.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
As it was leaking cryotherapy.
Speaker 4 (15:35):
I like the cold.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I like the shocking of my system and stimulating my
vagus nerve, which that can help get you up.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yesterday, you did an intense workout when me and Stushier
were making spaghetti in the kitchen and you were using
your three pound pink dumbbells.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Yeah, so I wouldn't call that intense. And actually I
wasn't working out. I was doing my brain exercises. I
was taking my right arm to my left knee with
my dumb bell and then my left arm to my
right knee when you cross the right and the left
and the upper and the lower, because that's.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
What doing when that happens.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Me and Stushier were just trying to cook dinner and
greater prommers on cheese.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
That helps my brain. I was doing my exercises. It's
called brain jim. Look it up on YouTube. Maybe it's
jumping jacks, pushups. If you have a mini trampoline, I
like to bounce on mine like a rebounder.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
I have that.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
I think I initially bought that because my mom used
to have a mini trampoline and I was she did yeah,
very into that as a kid.
Speaker 4 (16:41):
Shed keep it in the living room. She did Jane Fonda.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
This is before she worked, because when my parents were
still married, she was a stay at home mom and
I remember watching her do Jane Fonda in the living
room all the time. And then when my dad left,
she got a full time job and I didn't really
ever see her.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
She didn't get back on the tramp often.
Speaker 4 (17:00):
She was very busy.
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Okay, p paste breathing. Slow your breathing. You can inhale
for four counts, excel for seven counts, whatever type of
breathing works for you. There's box breathing four four four.
We know that breathing can be very impactful. And then
the final p is paired muscle relaxation. And this is
(17:22):
where you tense and release each muscle group while you
say the words relax.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Oh, I could see you doing this.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Oh I was gonna say, I could see your mom
doing this.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Well, she does a lot of the other p the
paste breathing where when we're driving and there's traffic, she'll
get into the.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Well. Yes, because her brain, and she's been this way
since we were kids. She likes to think of all
the scenarios and then her brain will focus on worst
case scenario, and then she'll feel like she's having a
premonition of whatever bad is about to happen. Yes, and
it does doesn't happen. I'm like, stop thinking about that.
(18:02):
Why are you thinking about it now? You're inviting it.
Like when there's a pole and you're driving and you
keep thinking, I don't want to hit the pole. I
don't want to hit the pole. I don't want to
hit the pole. You're more likely to hit the pole
because you're focusing.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
On the pole.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Yeah, that is mom, sometimes. Yeah, I can think of
so many examples.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
Yes, so Mom, sister Ceci, if you're listening to this
Christy Dozer, you gotta stop do tints so like get
really really tight and then release and then when you release.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
It say really relax.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
So there you go.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
G ipp, I'll be trying these things.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Yeah, those are four things that you can do, which
you know sometimes when we're feeling a lot, that's when
we can enter fight, flight, freeze because we're like, oh,
I actually don't want to feel this anymore. This is
a lot, so I'm going to run away, I'm going
to freeze, or I'm going to fight against it. But
these are things that you can do when you have
(19:03):
feelings going on. It's called the three hs of feeling,
and the first stage is here, hear the feeling. To
discover what you're feeling, pay attention to your thoughts, the
words you're speaking, and the actions you're taking. The second
H is have have the feeling, let yourself feel the
emotion in your body, notice how you're breathing, what muscles
(19:26):
you're tensing, and how you're moving. And then the final
H is help the feeling. Help the feeling express itself,
talk it out, write it out, move it out, cry
it out. Do what feels good as long as it's
safe to physically process it. And I like those two
things going together because we have lots of feelings and
(19:47):
I think it's important.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
To not stuff them down. That's how your mom and I.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Grew up brush everything under the rug. Yeah, that's what
we did in our house. A lot was what was
modeled for us. I'm I couldn't be more opposite. I
sometimes default to that because it's what I was modeled
and it's what I know. But it goes against everything
that I want. And I can be like a really
(20:12):
big feeler and have a lot of emotions. But then
there's times where that comes in handy of like nothing
to see here.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
Swipe this under this CAPI rug, move on with my day. Okay, Wait,
two questions for the have of the feeling. Do you
notice what you tense up or weird weird habits you
have when you're going through like a breakdown, or feel
something happening like mine is unconsciously picking at my fingers.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
My throat starts to tense up. I feel in my throat.
I know that something is off when I start to
have that feeling. And then I know now what the
anxiety feels like in my chest, and I can recognize
that because when I first started having it, I didn't know,
and I went to the hospital and got an echo cardiogram,
(21:02):
and then they didn't tell me how much that was
gonna cost. And also I didn't ask, but it was
a lot of money for them to tell me nothing's
wrong with my heart. And I was having anxiety, and
I was.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Like, cool, y'all should have a menu with prices, because
like that that.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Would help me decide if I was going to get
that scan or not. So, yeah, so you pick your fingers,
do you have anything else? I'll pick up my face,
but only if your hands are clean.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Unless I'm like really stressed or overwhelmed. And then I
do it without knowing, and I know that something Mom
does also, she'll sit there and pick at her face.
We both do the same thing. But some of my
friends they pull out their hair.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Oh I do that too.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
I've never resorted to that.
Speaker 4 (21:46):
Mine is right back here. I have a little spot.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
My hair person has even warned me before, like, Amy,
you need to get that under control. Actually, when I
was in college, it was really bad. In my roommate Juliana,
she pointed it out to me, like you're pulling your
hair out all the time, and I was like, I
thought everybody did this, but I guess not. And it's
this only little spot right back here. I'm like, oh,
(22:11):
I'm satisfying.
Speaker 4 (22:13):
The hair is more coarse there. It just feels.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Different or something, and then it's satisfying. And I've gotten
to where I can just sort of pull at it.
You may even now that I'm telling you, notice when
I'm doing it. But I don't rip it out as
often anymore. I can get I don't know, thrill. Sounds weird,
but I can get the thrill of it by pulling through.
And then occasionally I'm like and I go for it,
(22:36):
and I rip it out and I'm like, ah, and
then I hold it in my hand and.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
This is too far.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I hold the piece of hair in between my finger
and then I sort of beet it.
Speaker 4 (22:53):
But it's the same sensation you were so weird. This
isn't weird.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
This is a this is a I don't have it there.
It is a disease.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
And there's medicine for a.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Trickam and niasis or something.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
And I have heard it. Yeah, I have a.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Very minor because I feel for people that pull all
of their hair out or their eyebrows or their eyelashes
or anywhere they have hair and it's eyelashes.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I've heard of that too. Yeah, Oh that sounds terrible.
I fiddle with my hands like I'll pop my knuckles.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Just did it mess with my nails?
Speaker 3 (23:26):
You pop your neck a lot too. We had a
chiropractor on the Bobby Bone Show that was talking about
how he sees a lot of younger people, teenagers and
probably your generation that do that because of how y'all
have been with phones and tablets and stuff and you
always bent over. Yeah, and that y'all self adjust. And
(23:46):
he was saying, it's not great, but I'm not trying
to scare you, but I see you do it. I
think of what he said, and then I'm like, oh, shoot, stop.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Well you should start calling me out, So then I.
Speaker 4 (23:58):
Just stop, well, okay, and I'll you out.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'll call you out on your neck popping if you
call me out on my hair petting.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Thing.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (24:23):
So the reason why I mentioned in the little intro
that I want to dig up Papa's ashes is because
I saw these stones that are made out of ashes.
Someone on Instagram was holding up this really smooth, beautiful
white stone and she's like, this is my dad. But
it wasn't just one stone. You can make up to
(24:45):
eighty stones from one person.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Are they tiny? Like pebbles.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Yeah, they're little, little little rocks. Yeah, I'm sure they
can vary in size. But it was a very soft, smooth,
pretty white stone. And she said, but it was really
cool because he wanted to be spread in this one lake,
and that they had so many stones they were able
to pass it out to his grandkids and everybody got
a pebble and they threw them in the lake. And
(25:12):
then she keeps some like in her garden. They're scattered about,
and then she also has some that she will pick
up and just rub with her hand when she's, you know,
dealing with anxiety or missing him or anything like that.
Something smooth, she rubs the stone and I just thought
this is really cool. She said, there's only one company
(25:34):
in the world that does it. I think it's called
Parting Stones. All I know is we cremated dad, but
we didn't spread his ashes anywhere. We put him in
a box and we buried him in the ground.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Is that a common thing that people do?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I think normally when you're cremated, I guess maybe you
get put in one of those walls, or you get
spread somewhere. But we buried him because he had a
little plot.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
But he wanted to be cremated.
Speaker 3 (26:04):
Now our mom, she's in a casket. Which have you
ever thought about what you would prefer?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
I think cremated, Okay, I want to be made in
I want to be made into diamonds. Okay, give them
to my.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Kids, Okay in a ring. Mom has a ring.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Oh no, it's one of Marmy's old stones that she
got reset. It's this spring she wears on her pinky.
But it's not from like ashes or anything. I think
it's just one of Marmy's old stones that dad had
reset for her in a really pretty band.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I have the pinky one. And then yeah, she got
the like I got the band. So Mom's wedding ring
was a gold band with a diamond, and when Mom died,
we were dividing up everything, and I was like, oh,
I love this gold band. I don't really care much
about diamonds, and Christy's like, well, I don't really care
about diamonds either, but this would look really cool with
(26:54):
my set. And so yeah, then Herbin reset it and
your dad so we took it to a jeweler and
they split it up for us, so that way we
both have part of the wedding band.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
So that was a special way to divvy that up.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Just throwing that out there for anybody else that is
dividing up any types of things, like jewelers can make
it to where everybody can have a piece of something,
And I think that's important to keep in mind. If
you're like, oh, there's only this one awesome piece of jewelry,
and maybe there's a way y'all can make it work
to where everybody can have a little something from the
(27:29):
awesome piece of jewelry and parting stones. Keep that in mind,
because I'm tempted to dig pop all up.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Could you even do that? Yeah? You could go and
get a shovel.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I mean, I think I would talk to the grave side.
I mean, he's buried in Dilley, Texas. There's somebody that's
running the cemetery, I'm sure, but it's a very small town.
It can't be hard to track down. And then we
go to the plot and we get the box and
maybe we even just take some of the ashes, uh huh,
and have them sent off to parting Stones and made
(28:05):
into the stones.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
And then everyone can get a stone, yeah, and have
a piece of him.
Speaker 4 (28:10):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
What that would be that this is like the best plan.
I mean, and we buried him, gosh, just over three
years ago.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
The ashes are still there doing their thing. They're safely
in the box I tried. I cremated him here in
Nashville and flew with the ashes to Texas.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Oh my, and carried them, just held them on the plane.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Yeah, in your purse.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
I think they're in a bag on my carry on.
I didn't check them.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
There's been stories I know of people who have had
their ashes thrown away because the security thinks it's drugs.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Lunch Box has had a friend this is from a
long time ago in Austin whose car was broken into
and stuff was stolen and ashes were part of what
was taken. Oh my gosh, it's like, oh, sometimes you
can't even tell what that is like. You might open
up and be like, I have no idea, what is
this a bunch of dust, dirt, drugs, dirty cocaine there.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Yeah, we're feel like we're ending on a a.
Speaker 4 (29:11):
Really positive note.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
I asked my twenty one year old niece how she
wants to be buried, So I don't want to put
that energy out there. We're not seeing the pole. That's like,
we're looking for the pole. We're looking for the pole.
We're going to hit the pole. You're alive and well
and thriving.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, we're doing good, Tipp. We're doing good.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Tipp was the one three healing, three h.
Speaker 4 (29:32):
The three h's of feelings.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You've taught me a lot tonight.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Well, I think that we've all taught each other a lot.
I've learned so much from you having you here. I'm
very sad that we're nearing the end, and I loved
having you on every episode.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
In June, and it only.
Speaker 3 (29:49):
Seemed appropriate to have you on this week. Last week's
your final, final weeks. I feel like she I might
have to have you back again. I'm just going to
miss you so much, and not for stuff. This part's
just icing on the cake. I've learned from you when
we've had these chats, but also just daily watching.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
How you are, who you are, how you.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Interact and even if some of it is coming from
a place of anxiety and you not wanting to be
alone and you needing to have a plan, I've learned
a lot watching you make plans and be intentional and
make connection and be out of your room and having
your friends come visit. There's been a lot of friends
(30:30):
in and out of here. I love how you've included
Stashira with you and your girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, that's been the funnest part. Okay, this will help.
Speaker 4 (30:37):
Us end on a high note.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
The other night, y'all went to Target and got some
crafts and then came back tell everybody what y'all did.
Speaker 4 (30:45):
Because I was asleep, But.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
When I woke up in the morning, y'all had made
the cutest little frames. It seemed like such a fun activity.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
We went.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
We just went to Target and we all bought picture frames.
I had two friends from out of town and then Stashira,
and then we got like many little cars, and we
all wrote each other little notes and then put them
in the picture frame, and we pressed flowers. I press
Baby's breath, my favorite flower, and stashi Are printed out
a bunch of polaroids from her little polaroid camera and
(31:13):
put those in the frame. And it was such a
good little keepsake, like a souvenir from the trip. It's
like an easy fun craft to do with friends.
Speaker 4 (31:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:21):
I just wanted to throw that out. There was a recommendation,
and that helps us end on a positive note of
maybe you even do that with yourself.
Speaker 4 (31:29):
That could be a solo date.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Take yourself to target, get a picture frame, get some
cute things. Yes, yeah, so your solo date doesn't have
to be in public, although that should be solo date
number two.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Although I will be taking Amy to a bar with
a book and dropping her.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
We'll report back TBD.
Speaker 3 (31:49):
Hope y'all are having the day that you need to
have and see a Saturday for out way next Tuesday
for the fifth thing. And I want to shout out
cats podcast you need Therapy because since we talked about
solo dates, she did an episode earlier this week called
Where Did all the Third Places Go? And she's talking
all about third places and how we should have a
(32:11):
third place, Like your home is your first place, your
job is your second place. So what is your third place?
Because we're supposed to have it outside. Yeah, for some
people it.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
Might be that.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Yeah, if I had one.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
So I would encourage you all to check out her podcast.
She has a lot of good episodes up there again.
It's called Unied Therapy and Adeline is on Instagram Adeline E.
Doser and I am at Radio Amy Bye Bye,
4 Things with Amy Brown News
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