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August 1, 2019 77 mins

John Crist has over 1 billion views online and has a new Netflix special coming out this fall. He talks about how he got his start and why he chooses to do clean comedy. He also talks about how he handles hecklers and why he got fired from Chick-Fil-A as a teenager. 

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What are the movie called Once upon a Time in
Hollywood and you want to see it? Yeah, I don't
understand the concept of it though. I don't even know
what it's fully about me. I've just been hyped on
it because everyone's told me to be hyped on it,
like all the twitters, like you should be hyped about
this movie. It's getting great reviews. No idea Brad Pitt
and Leo DiCaprio in it. Yeah, Margot Robbie. I saw

(00:21):
maybe it's based on somewhat the life of Adam West.
Is that what it is? I don't know. I saw
it today where his family was talking about it, and
I think in the movie they show a scene from
the old Batman. I'm not sure. I've just picked like
little pieces from it. I know there's a part where
like Bruce Lee and just some different stories inside of it.
But it's like it's higher highest grossing movie. Who is Yeah,

(00:43):
Quentin Tarantino, I should go. I'm only doing I'm doing
one night. I'm doing in Chicago Friday night, and then
I'm back late Friday night, so I have kind of
the weekend Saturday and Sunday, So maybe I go. I
don't know it's the one I just don't like going
to theaters. I wish I could stream it. If I could,
even I go watch it in my house with my dog.
I don't have to drive and then park and it's

(01:04):
sitting someone else's gross chair, and then I just want
food the all time. It's not good for me. And
then it end up usually breaking down and get a
milk does, and I'm guilty about it for the next
three months. I'm like, God, why don't need those milk does.
My thing with watching him like a new movie at home,
is I'm not as like dialed into it. I get distracted.
I'll start getting on my phone and I missed something.
When I'm at the theater, I'm totally dialed in, and

(01:25):
I take it in a lot better. I'll wait for
your review. Okay. What I do have and I'm gonna
watch this weekend is they sent me the early Uh
this is country music documentary. It's sixteen hours long. I think, yeah,
And so I think I'm gonna watch that, not all
of it, at least not at once, but I think

(01:47):
because they say it's fantastic. Um, I'm trying to find
here it's kin Burns do you know what other stuff
he's done. He's on like Baseball, World War Two, Like
he dives in hard on these documentaries. So he's not
a country music I guess he is now, but he's
he's not Ken Burns, the country music guy. He's Ken
Burns the like one of the greatest documentarians of all time.

(02:09):
I know him more for like his film stuff, Like
he has a whole effect that's named after him. Probably
know more than I do about him. His other films,
The dust Bowl, Mark Twain, he did the Central Part five,
he did on one on Prohibition, on Thomas Jefferson Statue
of Liberty's. But he does a bunch of documentaries anyway.

(02:30):
I have um all of the thing is they sent
it to me on DVD. I don't have. I don't
have the only whole of my body. Well I got
a couple, but I don't have anywhere to put that
those disks. So I've had I've now one of those
plug ins. You put it into your computer and I
guess you can mirror it to my TV. It sounds
like a lot of work, and it's kind of what

(02:52):
we have in here. You put stuff on the screen. Yeah,
but you're doing it. I'm not laying my bed with
the computer on watching this, watch everything on your computer,
watching nothing on my computer anymore. And I mean it's
my phone or my TV. Now. I've even unless I'm
working on the show at night, I don't get on
my computer. I'm now basically the younger millennial. It wants

(03:16):
the office on my phone sometimes when I just need
to get that hit, I'm jones in for it. Put
up on the phone. Yeah, Um, we're about to talk
to John christ who was your earlier real funny guy.
I got to know him a bit after he started
dating Lauren Lauren Alena. Um, by the time you hear this,

(03:38):
who knows that they're together. It's been fifteen minutes and
we saw him. You know, relationships can change quickly. Now
I'm just playing, um funny guy. Comedian does a bunch
on the internet. He talks about that. This is one
of those two where I just kind of lost the
Hey we're doing a podcast. It was more just talking,
you know. And I think some people really like this,
Like some people will be kind of annoyed with it. Um,
I enjoyed it. I like John a lot. We don't

(03:59):
know each other super well and we were talking on
the way down again We're like, hey, we should do
something together. Um, but this is John christ I hope
you like it. Um. Check out the Amy four Things
with Amy Brown podcast. It's fantastic. Caroline Hobby has a
wonderful podcast. Um. She told me if it's not up yet,
she has one coming soon with Chris Daughtry's wife, and
she said it gets it's interesting, like I think she

(04:22):
had like a girlfriend at the same time they were
married and and it was cool with everybody. That's a
great story in there. Have you heard it. I'm listening
back to it. Oh yeah, So check out the Get
a Real podcast with Caroline Hobby. There's Velvet's Edge with
Kelley Henderson, Lunchbox Eddie and Raymundo. If you like sports,
have these Sore Losers podcast. Of course this one. Get
a little network going here. Share with your friends. If

(04:43):
you like this, please tag tag Guess and share it
on your Instagram story. And um, we're close to another one. Yeah,
we're really close to and nothing one. We've been talking
about the best two months. That one. I don't know
if it's gonna happen or not now all of a sudden,
but we're close to another one. Bring another one on
that I think people will really love. Um. All right,
are you ready? Are you ready? All right? Here is
John Chris Episode one of the Bobby Cast with that

(05:07):
John Chris. Do you do a podcast? I don't do
a podcast. You're the only one. Yeah, am I Like
everybody has a podcast. I'll tell you right up front.
You know what I love about this podcast, but this
one I've ever heard this one? Yeah, Well know what
I love about this so far because there's no small
talk before. If I had my way in and go
right to it, it's we'll talk about the stuff. Yeah,
for a couple of reasons. One, I'm not good at
small it's the move though. Yeah, I'm not good at

(05:30):
the what's up, how's it going, Let's stall until we
actually talk about stuff. And also I don't want to
waste stuff. And then like, if if there was something
that was in any way compelling, you'd be like, let's
say that, Like hold on, So we're just saying like
in real life, we have nothing. I mean, you were
about to start talking about your adult circumcision. I was like,
save that for the podcast. For the podcast. Yeah, And
then too, I just if I had my way when

(05:52):
like you walked up, it would already be recording and
I'll just go a head, sit down because also it's
like we got about an hour, let's let's just let's
just rip it out. Also, you know what I also
I don't like about podcasts is when you like you
just sit down and we just start and then like
you don't know when it starts. Never been on one
of those. Are you like, are you recording going? We've

(06:13):
been going already, and then it's like, oh, it's like
so casual. We're just like accidentally hit record and like
I would like to be You're like, here's the intro song?
Did yeah? I like that? And I'll go wait, already
recording and they're like yeah. I'm like, oh, then I
gotta fix what I just said. And I could be like, well,
you know earlier, I just got getting about that. Here's
what here's what I really mean. I was looking at
your Instagram today. I just want to see any followers

(06:35):
you had, because I based all worth on followers. So
do I yeah, you get it. You have one point
one million, I do. That's get more than me. You
have a million. You have a million, you have one
point one million, it's, uh, yeah, I don't know. It's uh,
it's a funny thing happened because I I you don't like,
as like a creative, you don't like to like have

(06:57):
your worth surrounded by that, but it does kind of
trickle in sometimes. And it was like I was like, well,
it would be nice, Like once I started getting up
around you know, nine hundred and forty fifty, I was like,
it's kind of like in range, you know what I'm saying, Like, oh,
this might be like a possibility. It's like someone's about
to give birth. You're like, you know around the time
it's gonna happen, but it can happen at any time.
And everyone else was like, hey, you're about to like

(07:20):
creeve up on a million. And then um, I say
this in like my meeting great sometimes like as soon
as I hit a million, as literally the instant I
hit a million, I was like, well, at one point
one would be nice just because it's you know, just
because it's like it does it's not just a million
in case something happens, I lose a couple of that,
Like it's like one it's you would know this better

(07:41):
than anybody, like it's it's never, You'll never achieve the
You're like, oh, once I get there. Remember when you
had nine likes and it was everyone's name was listed,
and then you got ten and it switched over to
ten likes. That was That was the best whenever I
had a million. This is the time I was waiting
for Zuckerberg maybe to hit me up on FaceTime. Yeah,

(08:04):
like hey, congratulations, Like, hey, you did it. That's all
I wanted. Name is not even in your context, but
it comes up with Mark Zuckerberg. I don't know how
he did it, but he did it, okay, except he's
like Darren, he's got balloons. It's like, Bobby, you did it.
We've been watching this for the last few weeks. We're
waiting on it. It never did though I thought it.
That would be like an eagle fly, like some sort
of celebration for me hitting a million, and it should

(08:25):
happen in like at a primetime hour like break into
whatever is on TV, like we interrupt The Bachelor to
let everybody know Bobby just hit a million followers. Well
that you do you think that? There's like like I
I've never been on the Tonight Show and I envisioned.
All these comics that have been on the Tonight Show

(08:46):
are like they're in like a group text, like, oh
this is amazing up here, poor all those other comics.
But like once you get two there, you realize, oh,
there's there's nothing here. Yeah, and it's funny. Like the
real talk of it is it doesn't matter. No, it
doesn't matter. That's the you know what. We talked about
it and just kind of make jokes about it. It

(09:06):
doesn't matter. The only thing that's mattered for me with
that is, um, Like people hate on social media. I
love it. I don't hate on it. I think it's
amazing for me. It's it's just created. Yeah, I live
for it. One I will be honestly, I live for
me too. Dating. Yeah, I've dated girls just from social media. Same.
I get to talk with people that listen to the

(09:27):
show and people that just like watch on TV. Same. Um,
I've got endorsement deals. Same. Yeah. But we're like yeah,
like oh like it, so it doesn't matter, like h No,
it does matter. It doesn't matter in terms of like
you're worth and who you are as a person, and
it's like a human but it definitely does. Like we
get a bunch of people that are like like, hey,

(09:48):
do you want to be in a video? These are
like creative like people that understand. They're like, well, I'll
fly from l A, put myself up in a hotel,
and pay for the whole thing myself to be in
one of my video because they understand how much the
worth of like a tag and like that, because like followers,
is money in essence in essence of it's real money.

(10:10):
Because again, I like my dog. All right, have you
met my dog? Well, a little little bulldog Pirina reached
out and they go, they go, well, look at you.
You got a new dog. How about And I'm big
with the military and they say, hey, we're doing Service
Dog Day. You have a new dog, come do a
day with us in media and we'll pay you from
instant like that happened. It wouldn't it wouldn't it wouldn't. Yeah. Yeah.

(10:33):
But but you also say that people do don't embrace
it or don't like it or don't like I tell
those people like, don't make stuff, because they're gonna tell
that the crowd will know that you are doing this
be grudgingly because some agent was like, hey, you should
be on social media or you should you know what
I'm saying. Have you ever followed somebody horrible? Or they go,

(10:54):
you know, I don't really do my own social media account.
Yeah you can't be. You can be pushed into being
or if you do, you gotta it's gotta seem so natural.
So be like like a legend, like I mean Eric
Church or or Garth. But they don't. They don't. They're
not an Instagram story like and I would tell them
to probably don't do that because when they do, it

(11:16):
sticks out. It's like and then m yeah, and we
think they're like a god like but people like see me,
they're like, oh, like at the airport, like check your
heart or like they don't view me as like a
comedy is like that in a way, you're probably the
same in a way that they they'll feel very they
feel like to know you, yeah, versus the time. It's
the greatest thing in the world. Like I love that
about my answers story because it's human. Yeah, it's not produced,

(11:39):
it's human. And people will come up and I think
the biggest compliment is when someone just comes up and
just like you're catching up on a conversation. I've never
was confusing though, is I've never met them, and in
my head the alto what do I know you from?
Oh my god, are you my cousin? I just embrace it,
like I go hug everybody like I'm the best friend
with him. I'm like, if you're gonna come up with
me like that, then I'll just be like, what's up?
They don't even come up to you. Just hugging everybody,

(12:00):
just kid. Anyway, you probably see must I won't point
one million of them. You probably know me, No, we
don't know who you are. One time a lady even today,
So it was down in Franklin and somebody's like, hey,
would it be weird? Like can I like get a photo?
I absolutely like the only thing that I've learned, you've
probably learned this. I can't suggest the photo. Oh yeah.

(12:21):
You can't be like do you want to vote? Because
they're like hanging around. The conversation is kind of done.
They have their phone out in their hand. I can't
be like, hey, do you want to photos? They were
like what, No, They're like oh, and then that's the
most embarrassing thing if you suggest like that's like you
probably know me, but they don't. And I've done that
before in the wrong way where they're there with their
phone and their camera and you can see that there

(12:41):
the ground is below their camera and it's moving and
they're talking to me and it's kind of dead and
I'm like, hey, do you want to get a picture
and don't know? Yeah, And I'm like, but okay, I'll
be going now, Okay, that's unfair because you let Yeah,
so it happens. You have over I'm gonna read your
resume a little bit. You have a billion video views online. Yeah,
and if I know my math, you I means you're
a billionaire exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that they I

(13:09):
wonder what if people would follow you? What they because
I'm in your house currently? Does everybody know this thing?
Your house? Do people know that? I wonder what people
think Bobby Bones house looks like? What would you think
an average listener thinks of Bobby Bones house if they
follow me an Instagram? I think they kind of know
they know. Yeah, And I think that I've been pretty
transparent about kind of my climb from I grew up

(13:32):
very poor, and I have ever been scared of just
showing the poor days or even now I'm doing pretty
good now, um, And so when I got a pool,
I showed it. I was like, I got a really
nice pool, and I feel but I felt guilty. But
but forever I did and I talked to I was like, listen,
this pool is awesome, like sick Pool's pretty sweet. But
I felt bad because when I was growing up, they

(13:53):
only had one pool or neighborhood and it was above ground.
Oh yeah, of course, and he was the rich kid. Yeah,
diving board or no, no, god. Now there was a
kind of a deck built on that. They built on
it like an upward deck. It was, but it was
six It was not a climb up, climb back down
into it. There's a deck to go down into it.
There's a deck you climb up half deck that is

(14:13):
also on the above ground pool. It's all above. Every
bit of it's above. But there's above ground pools where
you just climb up the ladder and back down into
the pool. Yes, there is a well this is the
this neighborhood here is like a it has there have
They have those cameras that the stop signs that will
write you tickets if you don't stop. Those aren't in
the ghetto because they won't pay those they're coming for

(14:37):
rich people. Those aren't yet. My my, my neighborhood has
police that drive all over the place. And I moved
here because I had a lot of security issues. By
the way, it's it's a really nice neighborhood, but um,
I moved here. I lived down in a town called Brentwood.
And well, I'm explaining to people listening, i'd hope you
know I'm not on it down for you. But most

(15:01):
of most of our listening isn't you know we're doing
like a million a month here. I don't. All right,
let's relax, let's not act like people that live in
the neighbor This isn't the neighborhood podcast. We went to
this place in Nashville called Broadway, Like, oh yeah, that's
like the Okay, I know that. When I was in Arkansas,
I got robbed a gunpoint. We're going to a radio event.
I got jumped in Austin going to the radio station.

(15:23):
Had a few death threats. So my my contract, they said,
step my game up. I've done. No one's threatened me
at all. Oh yeah, you gotta get cool, Yeah, gotta
you got You're not cool enough. In the underground scene,
I moved to Brentwood. Dude murder his wife like a
few houses down, was running around the gun in the
neighbor for a whole night. They wouldn't really let him
to their house. And so my contract, also because of
insurance reasons, have to live somewhere with X amount of

(15:44):
security because that's why you got this threatening dog now,
because who would rob this house and be like, no
way they would come in with a gun. They just
dropped the gun, scratches belly. That's it. That's that. That
was the goal of it. But it is very scared.
All right. Stop taking me off track here. Some of
your most pot sular videos are millennial international. This. Let
me just get through this. People know you're a big deal.

(16:04):
There's you know, not my buddy. I brought on four
point three million views and every parent at Disney four
point two million views. Um. By the way, I was
looking at your tours, it's like you go from one
tour to the next. Yeah. So my question is as
someone who because we're out, I'm out on the road
to right now. But I do music and comedy show.
Are you just writing material NonStop? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you

(16:27):
have to, Well you can't or right without performing I
can't write. I can't either. But because my question is,
are you when you finish your tours you let's just
you say it's one sheet of paper a tour per
one sheet? Are you working on that second sheet and
you're you're stop. You're not performing anything new while you're
still in this first tour on the first sheet. And

(16:47):
are you slowly integrating jokes from the next tour to
see if they work? Are you working them slightly so
when you jump out on the second tour? We do
we do. We don't do it by tour. We do
it by special. It's like Netflix specials coming out in October.
So we filmed it in May, so we got we
closed out. All the jokes are perfected and done in May,

(17:08):
and you'll run them though until it till it runs right. Well,
once it will, we already stopped. We're trying to get
rid of them as fast as we can because we
don't want to have somebody come to a show and
be all new. They're gonna be pissed. No, But I mean,
like now the special is not out, and even though
you've already recorded that, you can still use those jokes,
so you haven't seen it, it's probably half and half.
Currently we're in July, so come I got three more months.

(17:29):
Because if everybody sees the special when it comes to
the show and it's the same joke, it's gonna be over.
And I keep wrap, you keep us the cities and
the jokes us cities, so our tours they don't go
to the same cities. So we could do a new tour,
but it's the same jokes as different cities. If you're
like a psychopath crazy fan, you drive six hours to
a new tourish you'll see this that we're good with that.

(17:50):
But if I do let's say I'm doing Chicago tomorrow, right,
I'm doing the Compernicus Theater in Chicago. There you go,
and so um, I'll make sure that I haven't done
the same jokes in Madison because my people will travel,
so I have like a a joke radius around. Well,
I just again, I'm like you, I don't want somebody
come and fill a jip like that. I've already heard this.

(18:12):
There's no worse feeling than that jokes aren't like songs.
And I tell my musician friends, yeah, I'm like, you
can play a song over and over again. People love
it the ten times they love it even more. They
want to hear the one that they like here and
there they are here the same one. They're like boo.
Then you're you're, You're. But there was a while there
with like the like a Bill Burr, like Louis c.
K Era, where like an hour a year was like

(18:35):
kind of it's not though, it's a maybe eighteen months
or something where you we can write a good fun
hour and no one's seeing you every year live and
if they, if they do, they love you so much,
they don't, they'll they like to hear the same stuff.
They just obsessed with you, and you get that sometimes.
But a casual fan of yours, they saw you last year,

(18:58):
if they come back to town, there will wait another. Right,
it's a couple of months. But do you do any
of your music in your show? Uh? No, I play it,
but I don't. I don't. I don't have any music.
I have one. I have one single, the rap song. Yeah,
so okay, here so here's my because I now put
I do music. I do stand up in music. What

(19:21):
I found is if some of that the music lives.
If you get if you get a couple so you
can play those every tour. Ye, and so you know,
we put out a live record in Boston, have just
like five songs. I can go every show. I'll play
freaking Hobby, Bobby, Bobby, it kills. Yeah. I can tell
the same joke and play song. If you do a
couple of songs, listen, you're way better this than I am. Um.

(19:41):
But if you play a couple of songs, I mean
that's six months. I just get a guitar strum like
a chord and just do a bit and then it's
a song now, so you can it doesn't count. That's
so just tell them, Bobby said. If there's a song,
Bobby said, boom, we've heard it. Now it's different. It's
a song now. Sorry, Yeah, you when's a special coming
out like a Thanksgiving You're nervous? No, did you edit it?

(20:03):
Did you sit in the room and edit it? Nerve
wracking it? I'll tell you what happened. Because we shot
we shot twice two yeah, and the first one so
I'm like very it was in it. We were like
we're doing Birmingham, which is like that's where my fan
base is, like very like Southern Christian. Um, I don't know,

(20:25):
say values oriented or like family friendly and so like
the Netflix was like they all came all the like
all the Hollywood people were like all there, and I
was like all right. I was freaking out because I
was like, I should take out some of these like
very niche like Bible jokes and very very insider Christian
stuff because no one's they're going to be like no
cut that. When the first show bombed, it was horror

(20:47):
because I was very tight and I was in my
head about where I am in my act. I should
don't do that joke. Is very nervous. And then and
then they came up to me after like hey, we
love you and we like signed you because you do
this certain thing with this demographic we don't necessarily know about,
but like just you do you. I was like, so

(21:07):
you want me to just do all of it, like
all the stuff that I normally do, And they're like yeah,
And so I did it and murder so hard like
I got an hour on Methuselah. Yeah killer everything like
what we did. But there, but you seem like there's
there's a I would I used to get very nervous
about like Christian jokes would be like if you grew

(21:29):
up in America, you know about like David and Goliath,
Noah's Ark. Jesus was like the leader, he had twelve disciples.
The church meets on Sunday. Sometimes Christians are judgmental. They
love Chick fil A that you kind of you're like, yeah,
we get it, Like if you I go to like
sometimes like Zanny is like a very urban show, like

(21:50):
a very urban show where the whole crowd is black.
I sit in the back just because I like comedy,
and like, I don't necessarily like get this one. You
know what I'm saying, Like I don't. I didn't grow
up like this, but I do. I like hearing about
that life from a different perspective and like, I oh,
I enjoy like it's not so much like moral to
not moral comedy. It's like I just live like this

(22:11):
and they're like all right, sweet, And then when you
were feeling you the show was better. Yeah, yeah, because
it was like what do you write all these Like
I was like, I grew up in my dad's a pastor.
I grew up in the South. I was homeschooled. I like, yeah,
that's what it was like. I don't know, like if
there was like a like where'd you grow up? What's Arkansas?
Mountain Pine? Arkansas? All right, so like Mountain Pine. If
you somebody's like, write a write a bit about that

(22:34):
area of the country where like the high schools, you'd
be like this high school is like the good one.
This is like the if you live in this area,
like I don't know about that, right, but you know
about so if somebody's like write a joke about that
area of the country, you would be very well equipped, right, yes,
super equipped. Yeah, and I wouldn't so like we need
you writing those jokes and me writing these jokes, but

(22:56):
still you would understand yes, yeah, without knowing if they
it was done. If I were like Jesseville where the
drawing the wine drinking Hillbillies, will be like, okay, I know, yeah,
I get that. Yeah, I mean I never heard Jesseville,
but okay, like this or like the other this is
where like that if you got were like good at sports,
you went to so and so high school, like we

(23:16):
were like okay, man, I got it. You know, I
just wrote a song on Monday. Um, kind of a
similar thing. So I'm like, especially in my TV world,
they don't know country music. Okay, yeah, but so a
bit of similar. Wrote a song with a friend of
mine with the Thomas Right episode. He was like, no
one knows who I am and us say today it
blows my mind, but nobody knows who anybody is, but
everybody knows who I am, right, right, right. It's kind

(23:38):
of like sad, but it's kind of awesome. It's kind
of very liberating. Well, it's it weren't a niche world. Like,
as long as you give the people that like you
what they like about you, they're satisfied. You're satisfied, Keep
keep rocking. What do you need to what do you need?
Would you like take over the world? What do I mean?
That would be nice? Yeah, well, now that I think
about it. But in the country music aspect of we're
writing a song that we're gonna play tomorrow, it is
called you can't say that in the country song, and

(23:59):
the first line is I'm gonna sell my truck and
buy myself a prius. Right, the whole thing. You can't
say that a country song. Like people that didn't know
country music, we'll still get it without getting it. Now,
they're not going to be like, I want to drive
six hours to see that something. But if they were
forced there and it's only like a fit of the show, yes,
it will. The people that like, the people that like,

(24:21):
we find that mine too. Like I wrote a bit
about like a like a celebrity pastor. There's like this
whole thing about celebrity pastors now and they're like very
cool and trendy, like Justin Bieber's pastor. All those dudes
looks like the drummer for Blank Wanted. Yeah, he's like
Travis Barker up there preaching the Lord. So like I
wrote a joke about this called like Swag Seminary. It's

(24:41):
basically like you're an average pastor where like Khakis and
a Polo come to Swag Seminary, will will like swag
you out, make you cool and then like we'll just
tell you to say like lit and the stuff in
your sermon. You'll be like you'll attract a better crown.
And the majority of the people were like what But
if you got it, which the same as your song
if you live, you're like, this is the best thing

(25:03):
I've ever heard, and what you want and like your
songs or my stuff is like you see it and
you text your mom or your aunt or your roommate.
You're like, yo, you have to see this. That's that's
like a viral bit. If you were like, oh my goodness,
this Bible characters in uber or this mom at Disney.

(25:25):
If you've been to Disney, you're like, this is incredible,
and that's what you're kind of gold. You know, it's
trying to meet everybody. You're right, And it's funny you
mentioned that because I now have I've transitioned from going man,
we should just try to advertise to everyone. Yeah, to
word of mouth on an Instagram story is so and

(25:46):
I say on the podcast, now, hey, please share if
you like it. Your friends have the same sensibility to
you for the most part. And if you like it
and you do me a solid like, you can tag
me and I'll repost it. But share this Instagram and tag.
That's how every like, especially those like Murder Mystery podcast.
Somebody was like, Yo, you have to listen to this
is unbelievable. I never heard a commercial for serial in

(26:07):
my life, never never, but it's like the biggest one ever.
But friends at Netflix shows, for example, yea, almost all
of the shows that I've ever watched on Netflix where
from someone going, you should watch this show, and you
don't want to be the guy that doesn't what know
what everybody like? But I'll give it probably like a
couple mentions, like if one person says it, or if
you see one mention of it on like the internet,

(26:28):
it's like yeah. But then like you start to you know,
you start to hear more and more people talk about you. Okay,
there's a thing your your your buzz cup needs to
be filled to a certain level and you need enough buzz.
You don't want to be in on the very beginning. Yeah,
you don't want like an inch of buzz, like like
you know what I found of yours the other day
was like Shay do the two stay band the chap Yeah,

(26:49):
but Blanco Brown, I'm just coming to that. Yeah, welcome
to Did you come to that? I'm just kidding. It's
like I gotta go. I was like, is that for real?
Two sixteen? No? No, no, it was it was for
my to go. So all right, yeah, but but you're
still in with that's your normal. You're not normal, okay
when you were just how did you get it? Because

(27:09):
I found it, thought it was interesting, took a risk
and listen, I do a lot of risks and nobody
ever sees it, you know, So, I mean that's one
of those and it has like ten million views right
that video on Facebook guys, because he brought him out. Yeah. Here,
he came to my house and that was my sick pool.
We were dancing out, dude. Yeah, all right, so that's
the first. Like my sister sent me that and she's like,
I was like, this is the this is my first time.

(27:31):
And if I feel like i'm a I know about
your hip you're down. Yeah, but I guess not. You
agree all the words that people don't say anymore. But
if they, if they would play that at a wedding,
now I'm equipped, dude, I'll be it. Did you learn it?
Did you sit? Yeah? Yeah? I try to? Yeah yeah yeah.
That was my first time to really dance after the
big Dancing with the Stars victory. A lot of pressure
on me, feel good? No yeah, no, not at all,

(27:51):
not at all. Um, let me say let me okay,
let me finish your resume real quickly. We're trying to
get through this. That's the whole. That's the whole. Interviews,
like just read your resume. Thanks, but we'll see the
next time April nineteen, John was named Poll Stars. Here's
why I'm doing this because nobody knows anyone, right, Yeah,
and if I just go, here's a few things. Even
though you may not know him, I'm promising you he's cool.

(28:11):
And here's dad to back that up. And also, whenever
I do like a podcast or like a radio, I'm like,
this is pointless because no one my voice is not recognized.
But if they saw a video like oh that guy
they see in the airport and they're like are you,
like right, either go to my school or you're like
a cousin of mine, they ever get damn, oh they
know you, they don't know what do you look like?

(28:33):
Are you somebody? And if you say yourself, you're the
biggest douche bag, They're like are you Somebody's like you're
that famous guy? And I'm like, this is I'm in
I'm in line at Chipotle right now, So not that
famous was famous. Somebody would be in here in this
Latin form and getting this. But I'm like, yeah, we're
in the lobby at the Vanderbilt Healths and I mean
we're both getting our stuff checked. I'm not vs. One

(28:54):
time I was a CVS getting a prescription, and so
is I can I get a photo? And I was like,
I mean, I gas, but this is not ideal. I
always feel I had to go to CVS yesterday because
I ripped my ball on my bike. Happens, yeah right,
I didn't know what that was, like a common common
issue thing. Yeah, like it's happened before the bike, are

(29:14):
you saying in general on the bike, Yeah, it's common.
They think they have things called tap backs. Would you
ride and tapack? Like, oh yeah, and if you tap hard? Yeah,
I have like a little tearance. So I had to
go get um like butt hole appointment. I wish this
was a video because if people can see what you're
doing with your hands right now, yeah, this is like

(29:34):
I'm really emulated describing the but I was I was
confused about what was happening. Yeah, I showed it. Oh,
I'm very demonstrative in this story specifically, and as I
was getting my butt cream, a couple of different ones
because the doctor was like, we'll try a few of
them and see what we're curious is it? Yeah? And
when you try a few of them and you you

(29:55):
walk in with your whole prescription, They're like Wow, he's
getting a lot. He must have some real ball issues. Yeah,
And then she goes that phrase she's so she's super cute.
Of course, it's the one hottest check I've ever seen
work in the CBS. And and and that she does
at the end, of course she does. She's given me
three butthole creams and she's like she hands them to me,
and I'm not looking at her in the eyes. I'm

(30:16):
like my dog whenever he's pooping, he wants to look
out but he can't. Just it's it's a weird thing.
And then at the end she goes, hey, I just
want to say love love the show. You're like, you
could not say that, and I'm like, uh no, speaking speak, Yeah,
that's not that guy. Or they're like, I always like
when you go in there to get something, you always

(30:37):
try to, like if it's something like that like embarrassing
and say it's not a prescription, but you need something,
you always try to get other stuff to cover it up.
Like they're like, let me get like a like a coke,
and like maybe like a snicker and like maybe this
like itch cream. But they know they don't have to
lie to the CBS. I would do that with condoms,
they know until I stop using them, and I would

(30:57):
just I would, I would cover it up pack of almonds.
They were like, you want Oh, I didn't know that
was there? Weird? What's that like doing comedy when you
go over overseas and you know, do jokes for the
troops in the Middle East? Like I always wonder what
that what that environments like? Okay, when you you're you're

(31:19):
probably the same as like when you here, when you
do a show, let's say a theater, You're like, all right,
I want the lights to be this, I want stage
to be this, I want the mike to be this,
I want the myself, you're you're most comfortable, you're your best.
But but because it was all about uh, I guess
in some ways me this is my but over there

(31:41):
it was like, oh, we're we're here to give kind
of like the we did like a show like in
the middle of the desert outside I was standing on
like a would crate with like three four or five
soldiers like sitting on a bench and it was like
one of the best shows ever really, because it wasn't
I wasn't thinking about how am I doing? How is

(32:02):
this my kind of ego or was like kind of
out of it and and the this is why you
probably he said, because it was like armored vehicles and
like flights to Kuwait and like very expensive to to
get us there. And I go, why don't we Like
I was kind of like why are we doing this?
Like what are we here for? And the general or

(32:23):
whoever was there, he was like, he goes, we bring
comedians over here, because when the comedians come, suicide rate
goes down. Isn't that wild? He's probably and serious. He
was dead serious, and and I was like in like
a laughing way. I was like, well, you could have
told me that after the show, like not like hey,
this is the show doesn't go well, like that's terrible,

(32:44):
but like it was like that's what laughter will do
for Like people listen to your show and they are
like people, you know, weird. People's lives are horrible and
full of pain and full of not to get serious,
but like they're going to reel and if they can
listen to your show and like forget about the diagnosis

(33:06):
or the mortgage or the kid in juvenile or the
divorce or whatever, you have done them a tremendous service, right,
you have to separate someone from the struggle is always
the goal, if the struggles even yeah, yeah, yeah, but
people think, oh, these are just like stupid like fart

(33:26):
jokes or those are just stupid like parody songs. Like
if you think that you're you're very misunderstood about what's
happening here. And music does that, Like it's it's really
any content that makes you feel. Yeah, and if whatever
you if if like Bobby Bones isn't your thing or
John Chris isn't your thing, like if you find like

(33:49):
every time I see people in the airport, like I'm
a comedian or I'm like a I always wish you know,
when you ever go out of town on Thursday or
like Wednesday night, you see all those uses, all those
tour busses leaving Nashville. I'm like, man, we're all like
going out here, not to make it more noble than
it is, but like we're going out to the people

(34:11):
to like bring them a gift kind of now and
now we're making a lot of money, so it's not
like it's not like but you're like we're all in.
Like if you're a tap dancing like clogging group, that's
going to Omaha for like, a that's not my thing,
but like awesome, I love you for going out. You
know what I'm saying. We're all kind of taking this

(34:34):
gift to the to the America or I don't know,
does that make sense? Yeah? I feel like And I
used to make fun in my younger days. I would
make fun of people who did things like dungeons and
dragons yea, or or guy girls don't all the things
that I couldn't yes, so and so. But now as

(34:54):
I get older, I go, you know what, whatever makes
everybody feel everybody needs a thing, whatever makes people feel
all right when things aren't all right. Yeah, like awesome,
but we but we should still make fun of it.
I feel like I feel like we can also make
fun of it as as long as everyone has wenna
making fun of it because we don't even care that much.
I don't or like like for a perfect example, like

(35:14):
essential oils, like I knock on them like constantly in
my shows, like somebody who's like John, I'm offended by
your essential oils jokes like isn't there an oil for
being offended? Forgetting mass? Like a but likes the perfect
response to my like knocking on the central oils jokes
is not write an angry blog about John Christ, nor

(35:34):
is it throw away all your essential oils should be
like all right, I hear his perspective and it's funny.
I'm going to continue to do it because I enjoy it,
or I think it's useful, or like all right, I'm
not I'm not out here to like try to change.
I'm like an idiot. I don't know what I'm talking
I should just say at the beginning of my show, Hey,
I don't know what I'm talking about. Like this is
all just like I just get angry at things and

(35:56):
just like spout off. Don't take any of this as gospel,
But you ever get a one since you just really
blistering messages because they're constantly really about what they're mad
at stuff. An example again, I was watching because I
did you just put the Bible characters ubering video yesterday? Okay,
because I hadn't seen it until today, and I'm your
biggest fan. You don't know that, but I would say,

(36:18):
maybe someone will take offense to you portraying I wouldn't
most people wouldn't, but I can see somebody take an
offense and going, well, why you shouldn't be portraying Bible
characters as like as as joke in a in a
funny thing, This is not a funny thing to joke about,
very reverend, do you get that from people? Well? All right,
So the one joke in that one specifically there was

(36:39):
like the bid is like if Bible characters took uber,
So like I don't have to explain the whole thing.
But there's one about uh conscious pilot and he he
was he was famous for sentencing the execution of Jesus,
and then he was like, I'm washing my hands of
this and I'm moving on. And so in the bit

(37:03):
I get in the car and I'm poncherous pilot. He goes, hey,
do you need some hand sanitizer? And I go yeah.
So but if that is like the farthest I would
probably go in that bit. But like it's not it's
not supporting him, nor is it. It's just saying this
is a thing that happened, you know what I'm saying.
So I'm kind it's kind of like I still want

(37:26):
jokes to do well. So if it's too far, the
crowd will tell you, hey, too far. And if it
so You're always trying to tow up to the line
but not across it, but satiate the people who are
like conservative, but the people who are like keep going farther.
But we missed, We missed the mark all the time.
You have to miss the mark to even know there

(37:48):
is a mark. Yeah. Yeah, And the mark is different
in different areas of the country. Dude, you're right about that.
You have to do different jokes in different point and
I have to do different jokes. Do you want to
water your eyeball in my own? Good? You're just staring
at it. My looks nice. I wonder that's like, yeah,
can you get one? Oh yeah, Jeeves. I wantn't do
that to Mike. I was just a joke about my
fancy pool and if I met him somewhere, Mike, Yeah,

(38:10):
do you ever go to like the all male review?
I recognize him? No, Oh, you know, I thought he was.
He's the guy. You know the guy. What's the guy
down on Broadway that like hooks up all like the
A listers to all the clubs. You know that guy? Yeah,
because he's hooked me up before. He like works for
aud Juliano or something. What's his name? I thought that
was him. Yeah, he's like wearing one of those real

(38:32):
slick suits and he's got his hair was spiked up,
and he's like, what's his name? But he's in my phone?
Yeah I was, I was. I mean I have him
on Instagram, but yes, he looks like him. He runs
all those all those like I love him. Whenever we
go down, they were like, hey, dude, can you like
get us the table. He's like, yeah, yeah, I got you.
And then you're like, I should find that name his name? Hey,
will you text Morgan number two and get his name?

(38:53):
We do want to give my proper shout out during
this because he would know fantastic. Yeah's that going? By
the way, you and I watch you guys on in
story all the time. It's like she puts up ninety
three stories. It's like a thirty. It's like I'm watching
an entire episode of Orange is the New Blag. You're like,
we get it, you get it. You know where she
learned that? For me, I'm notorious for the long Instagram

(39:16):
stories and now everybody's like thanks for like dating logs
and now our Instagram stories forever long. They are funny.
You want to hear a funny story about her. M
I could probably share the the match one, right, Mike,
or the I heard when you and you were talking
about when you were talking with whatever. The interview I
listened to you were like you for the few that

(39:37):
you called like party and Lauren, because they're like your butts. Okay,
I'll tell you a story. I like Lauren a lot, right,
I mean, that's your girl. What is this going to
be embarrassing to me? No, not at all. It's just
a funny story, butout it has actually nothing to do
with you. You know, this is all about you. But
I'm gonna tell story that they haven't shared yet. Okay,
I'm watching Lauren's It's a story, and she's on a

(40:01):
plane and she's going, there's somebody famous on our plane,
and I'm like, oh, I'm I'm I'm dialed in. She
hit me with the early teas sign up. Now there
are so many little white dots. I'm not knowing which
dot's gonna have to pay off. But I'm committed to
this story, and so I'm not I'm not hitting the
right I'm not scrolling to the next one. I'm just
watching it going. And she's like, all right, but this
is Bobby Bones. This is valuable, valuable, don't have fifteen

(40:24):
seconds times thirty? I got you, And I'm flipping. I'm
watching it's flipping. One of the next she goes, we're
gonna go meet him. We're gonna go, And I'm like,
who's a freaking plaint And who's at the back of
the plane. There's a famous person? Because I think, um,
it wasn't It was actually like an American but Lauren
was in first class. Weird. Yeah, And so she's going
to the back of the plane to meet somebody famous

(40:46):
and I think I know this. I think I'm going,
who's it gonna be? What it turns out? It zooms up,
but she's taking a picture with the girl from the
is it match dot Com? Come find me? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
oh the girl from the commercials Yes, the on girl.
Is that match dot com? It's not your harmony? Yeah?
Match for match Tico? Her uh guitar player was like,

(41:09):
I think that's but I didn't know who it was. Sorry, Okay,
so I only knew her. I didn't know her name
name is Courtney and she's from the match. But I
recognized her immediately and I was like, I know her,
So they do the thing and I hit Laurena. I
know about this, I know about this. I think I
do go ahead there you go, Well, you would like
talk to her or something? So I hit Lauren up.
I was like, hey, what's what's the deal. Oh yeah yeah?

(41:29):
I was like she is that girl? Still single? Like
I'm just curious how to make a move? Well, and
she was like, yes, you should hit her? So I did.
I shot my shot and I was like, what up?
And you say I'm friends with Lauren? Or how do
you start this? You just say what's up? And you
think your your profile is gonna lead the way for now.
This is what I did. I said, hey, I saw
you on Lauren's Instagram. Good move, good movie? Yeah, And

(41:49):
I wasn't lying. I did and I said Lauren and
our friends and she said that vouch for you, and
she did vouch for me. So I hit her up
and we started talking back and forth, still on the
same platform. Same no, not yet, okay, we had we
hadn't made that step, because that's a step, it's a
big one. Would you take it over? And so we're
talking and I was like, I'm gonna be on l

(42:10):
a I'm shooting some stuff, shooting some stuff, and so um,
she she's okay, cool, I'm going I don't say what
I was shooting because what I was shooting was I'm
nervous for this. Yeah, I live for this. Yeah. And
so I'm like, cool, I'm coming to l a. Why
don't we get lunch or something. She's like, great, would
love to And I'm like, okay, lunch, yea like baller,

(42:31):
I'm in, yeah, you're so. You don't say drinks, you
don't say dinner, you don't say well, it's weird for
me to do drinks. Guy, I don't drink fair and
I would do drinks, but they're always kind of weird.
I guess, right, Yeah, can I get a psychopath? Well,
I have a whole thing about that. I go before
until the bartender keep looking me up with fake drinks.
It's a good move. It's a good move. And I'm
like all right, And then she hits me back and
she goes, hey, do you know so and so? And

(42:53):
I was like I did know this girl. The other girl.
It was a flight attendant that it hit on me
and I went out with She was like, I can't
date you. That's my ex roommate really and I was like, wait,
what world is this where you randomly X no idea.
I guess they were both flying. So I only went
out with that girl like once, and so we kind

(43:13):
of um was the one that got away? We stopped.
It wasn't the one that got away. And she hit
me up about two weeks ago, okay again, and she
was like, Hey, I'm coming to Nashville. Well look who
it is. That's all I always say, look who it is.
And she's like, I'm in town. Do you want to go?
So we went and like you did? Yeah, does Lauren
know this? I haven't talked to Lauren the weaker stolie,

(43:34):
so we so I met her through Laurence as a story.
We're gonna have a date. Then apparently she lived with
a girl I went out with once in a weird
strange turn of events, said no, I can't go out
with you. Then said I'm coming to Nashville. She came
to Nashville. We went out and it was fantastic. There
you go. And now when I date with the match
girl would come find me boom. Yeah, that's the top.
There's no go where you go from here? Nowhere you

(43:56):
can't go anywhere. I retired from women. I like the
I used to say my liberty crush was the girl
from the Verizon commercials, the Darker Girl. Yeah, she's a
comedian and she was on this you know, I know
that this is us she's she is uh was one
of the secondary characters. She was like one of the
theater girls. Yeah, where do you go for you go
to a famous person, You're like, no, I don't like

(44:16):
I like that. Like the girl from the Magic commercials,
You're like, oh yeah, and people people would know if
you just because I'll be like, hey, you know the
girl from the match and they'd be like no. I'll
be like, hold on, let me google what about now?
Oh yeah, I do know who this guy? Oh yeah,
that guy I will. Do you ever watch maybe a
show on Amazon and I do Do you ever? Means
I do this, But I'm just kind of positioning like

(44:38):
do you ever? Because he would do this an interview
of me, but you aren't do do you ever? Do this? Yeah?
Where you're like, oh, she's cute, and you like look
her up on Instagram and then you message her. I
probably don't go that phone anymore. You have a girlfriend before.
Would you ever ever slide This is about you. Do
you ever slide into d m of moderately famous people?

(44:58):
I have not? No, really, well just I don't think.
I like, how did you meet Lauren? She slid into mind?
How is that right? Yeah? Yeah, we told this on
your show. Dude, sure they're not famous life. I don't remember.
We're here again whatever? So okay, So you never because
I've slid because I like a comedian is like a

(45:19):
very the last person to think he deserves the platform
and has would be a comedian. Like I've seen somebody
from like with like three thousand followers, like yeah, but
I'm not like I'm not big enough for her. When
somebody else thinks they're like honored to meet me, I'm
like why, I'm like in line and like to get
something off a dollar menu. You know what I'm saying.
I don't perceive myself as others perceived. You probably feel

(45:42):
the same, right, Oh, I don't like I'm the same
person I was when I was too like no confidence whatsoever,
Always wondering why in the world do people even find
me entertainer? Like today you might be the last day
a crazy Imposters just live it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it
just like this, like I like it was like, oh,
what's it like to be like yoh, jeez. I don't

(46:04):
because if you start to think of yourself like that,
nothing good comes from that well, and then you lose
what made you what you are. Yeah, nothing good comes
from like I'm the man. Especially as a comedian, you're
so vulnerable to every night, to those people. You need
them to allow you to succeed. But you never slid
because I was I'm okay with failing, and I'm okay,

(46:25):
it's all fail it's all failure, slid into d m s.
I would probably be more comfortable with like a fan
really like I would respond to someone else's but I'll respond,
but you're talking about in like a dating way because
I'll respond to something. But I just feel like I'm
scared because people are scared. I got on bumble once.
They kept screenshotting my thing. It past and it was
just getting sent all around. But your what, your messages,

(46:46):
my messages, my profile, everything, and I was like, shirtless photos, listen,
I don't I don't do any of that. There's none
of that. Have you ever seen me shirtless? I have
not here check it out, Um, Oh is this does exist?
What is this here talking about Babbiano? Oh that's Fabiano issue.

(47:06):
It looks like just like him, that is, doesn't it. No,
you just see two hispanic fellas. Looks at Jason al Dean's.
No that's not true. Let's look at this dude that
is him. No, it's not just look I mean, okay,
good for the gotta be brothers. You're both good looking dudes.
We've got a lot of photos of oh oh yeah,
I see, I see what that is Babiana and he

(47:26):
does I'll be like, hey, I'm coming to all Dean's
and he's like, got you. He's like got you Like,
He's like, I'll be at the back door. Yeah. Let
me play something of yours here. Let's hear it. This
is check your Heart, a comedy song by John Chris.
Here we go scrolling stuff for the satisfaction. Theirs trapp
ping Bible. First caption of spots child but rolling in

(47:47):
a rover Thank you every Sunday morning's hung over, clapping back,
You're feeling like a wise guys Appa never but only
for the WiFi by lap Page to sitting a folder
hanging off the shoulder, well you ever perform that. I

(48:07):
don't know, what's it like? First seventeen terble Have you've
been performing music lives forever? Right? Yeah? Yeah, I never had,
And yeah this is not your profession. You've been chiseling
away after years. So it's the same thing. You get
up and you suck for a while and just play
the track because you have a band. Well both when

(48:29):
I would do the hip hop stuff because that a
whole alter your named captain Caucasian. Yeah, I would just
get up with the track because it was cheap. I
couldn't afford anything else. And then you just wrap, yeah,
and then what what's the response people say? Sometimes? Sometimes
sometimes they're just like you in the theater? Yeah, why
are we here? If what I found is if you
could preface it by going this one I'm gonna do tonight,

(48:50):
people will know it will be ready for you because
if they're coming to your show, especially now, they'll be
following you on Instagram or Twitter. So what do they
know what a Bobby Bones show is? Sometimes they don't.
The mic crowd doesn't either. Yeah, sometimes it's very similar
to we like the Practical Jokers. They like tour and
they like sell out, like Madison Square Garden and they're like,
we don't know what, we don't know what we're going

(49:11):
to see, but we like those guys. I think that
will spend the evening with Bobby. I think that's a
great point, and I think that's what people that come
to my show's field. They hear me on the radio.
But I gotta tell you it's a different muscle to
tell jokes than it is to do this. They're talking
on the radio, completely different. The only things similar as
a microphone. That's it. That's it, just not on a
stage when it doesn't work. You know, it doesn't work

(49:32):
because you're just alone and you're like like the maybe
a bit on the radio. You don't know, things don't
work all the time. And I'm just talking. I'm not
trying to be funny all the time or I'm not
trying to be compelling all the time versus like like
That's why a lot of guys that are like they're
like um, like speakers or like maybe like business or
like social media or like but they're they would never
build themselves as a comedian because if you're like a

(49:56):
speaker and you're like funny, it's like kind of added
and he was also like we learned something and it
was like a pastor were like anything. It was also funny.
But if you're like I'm a comedian, it's like, okay,
we're here to laugh. That's why I don't build myself
as a comedian. And I would go to do do an
hour and minuites of just stand up. But I do
not feel like like that is your craft, Like Bobby

(50:17):
Bones show, it's it's kind of I don't know whatever
you wanted to be what. It doesn't have to be anything.
In my mind, it's a variety show. And I may
go up and just do jokes for an hour. I'm
feeling yeah, and that's what. But that's what I did
on my last tour. That's and I had to call
it funny and alone because I need of people know
I was by myself. I don't expect any other characters
are in band members or show members, and I'm just

(50:38):
gonna tell jokes. But you know what, it's not not
compelling show to go because Bobby Bones alone, just alone,
that's my life. That's every night. That's that's a show
that people see on Instagram. Bobby Bones freaking alone. Oh
this is hilarious. Do you work completely clean? I do? Yeah,
me too? Yeah? Why and you do? Because um let's

(50:59):
see I all right. When I was like ten, there's
a there's a Bible versus that says if you call
your brother a fool, you're in danger of Hell's fire.
And then my parents like took the Bible very very
like literally, so I called my brother a fool one time,
like and my parents washed my mouth. That was soap

(51:19):
for full Yeah, so like you got your mouth washed
that that's like you think there's like the eight hundreds,
Like no, this is like like this is not like
they were like a bar of soap. You put your
tongue and they like scrub your mouth, which is like
macaroni and cheese tastes like dial for like that next

(51:40):
three days. But like I was just raised in a
house where it wasn't acceptable to swear. And the first
time I ever went to comedy club, I heard the
comedians swear, and I was like, like, where's the soap is?
They're like is this like is someone gonna like is
he in trouble? They're like, no, he's not. But if
you grew up in a house, that's why I never

(52:01):
like I don't. It's never on my website or anywhere
that I'm like a clean, like Christian comedian. That's no
Like if you want to call me that, fine, but
I am. You're not gonna hear that from me because
it's just how I was raised and it's not it's
less of like am morally better than anyone who's just
like I don't know, like why do you wear cowboy boots?
I don't know if this is how I grew up.

(52:22):
So if someone grew up in a house where there
was swearing and they're like and if you swear, then awesome,
I got no wastue with that. I enjoy a lot
of My favorite comic is Cat Williams. It's like incredibly
across the line for for a lot of people, but
I enjoy it. He's your favorite favorite comic ever. Mount
Rushmore of Funny People as you think they will do full?
Why would you do four plus one of my Mount Rushmore? Everybody?
I was like, give me one more, So I'm just

(52:43):
let you know it's gonna be fine. I don't rush
More of Funny People? Okay, well do we can do
one at a time? All right? Well, Cat Williams. Alright,
favorite comic ever. I'm gonna I'm gonna go Chris Rock
just because, Okay, just pound for pound over thirty years
and you can put Chris on your too. By the way,
it doesn't eliminate you. All right, I'll go um, Cedric

(53:04):
the Entertainer. I'm gonna go Ricky Gervais. I'm gonna go, Ah,
Sasha Baron Cohen solid did they have to be alive? No? Okay,
Andy Kaufman, good, Hyeah? I like that? Uh Tim Hawkins?

(53:29):
You don't know who that is? Do you know that? Yeah?
Of course when you know Tim Hawkins, I grew up
in church, Dude, A lot of people don't know who
that is. Like I like, I wouldn't if you're just
talking about, like who do you sit and lab man?
That guy cracks. I'm a little insulted you said I'd
be like m Michael Debbie Smith. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna

(53:49):
go funny people. I'm gonna go Adam Carolla. Well are
you serious? Oh? Man, dude, you just became my best friend.
He was a man his Yeah, that guy, that guy
probably changed my life. I used I wrote a physical
letter to him, like once a month. For like three

(54:13):
years to try to be on his podcast, Did you
get on? Well, what happened was I got his movie,
his crowdfund of movie Road Hard. I have a part
in it because I won, like it was like crowdfunded
like you and I won because we were very similar
point of view, like very similar to like come on,
like the government's not here to like save your life,

(54:35):
like a lot of very He's liberal in a lot
of ways, was conservative in a lot of ways. And
I lined up with him a lot. Yeah, Adam Cruel's
let's see. He invited me on his podcast about a
month ago, and I haven't been able to go out there, yea.
And I'm a little nervous to do it because he's
I don't think I could keep up, Like I'm so
the Pirate ship come board, dude, he got one more parts. Yeah, man,

(55:00):
let's see, this is your bonus. It counts, though it
does count. I'm gonna go with someone like, ah, you
know who I should go with? THEO Vaughan. You know
who that is? THEO. I don't think I do. He's
will I when you tell me you've watched some of
his bits. He's got a Netflix special. Yeah, he's audio,

(55:22):
he's unbelievable, or Andrew Schultz maybe you know that. Well,
this is the whole one. Plus see, who wouldn't my
my fifth be Chris Rock. Let's say, let's be let's
do with somebody like like, well I hit you with
Adam Crowland. You're a little because you could go like

(55:44):
my cousin, my uncle, like ned or something. I'd be like, yeah,
this guy's a little Who is the funniest person I know?
I have a friend that's a comedian now who I
watch And her name is Nicky Glazer and and I've
been with her doing shows before. And she also writes
a joke. She's such a good writer. I'm gonna put

(56:06):
her She's done this podcast before put her on there.
I'm gonna put her on there. Yeah as five. She's like,
oh thanks, Bobby, I'm five. No, no, she you're one.
It's not into order, it's not in kind of is
but still yeah, I'm just thinking, who's the funniest person
in your life? Though? Like that you would see at
least once every three months. Well, see Lauren's funny, but

(56:28):
like I made her funny. You know what, I'm interesting?
Interesting concept. I always tell her that I'm She's like,
I'm so funny. I was like, maybe, let's be honest,
like you were, like, you're funnier now from like being
around me. But that's also true because you do people
sensibilities you did. When I'm around funny people or skilled comedians,

(56:50):
I find myself working harder at that. Okay, Uh, there's
the we we tour with a guy named we like
roast each other so hard, and one of the comic
that I travel with, Dustin Nickerson, is like this guy
is just it's just like I can't believe you said that.
It's so horrible, but like funny, you know, you can't

(57:12):
ever Like there's like radio thoughts, then there's like podcast thoughts,
then there's like Instagram story thoughts. Then there's like group
text thoughts, and then there's like thoughts that just never
leave your head and just keep them. You should always
keep them in there. Those are like the ones that
when you say, you're like, jeez, dude, we will laugh
pretty hard on the bus with that guy. Man. Yeah,

(57:33):
you guys take a bus. Yeah, Yeah, that's cool. Yeah,
we gotta we got a whole crew. Yeah. Um, you
know who's funny is that I've been able to spend
time with, and I think people know him. It's kind
of funny, but is John Mayer very funny, very funny
and some sometimes very funny, too funny, but always clever,
like just quite sharp. A thing about humor is like

(57:57):
being around somebody's like you know what I like, not
necessarily someone that's like punchline like, but just like if
you talk to like a waitress or like a cashier
and you make a joke, they're like, oh, jokes are happening,
and they can like give it right back to you,
versus like you'd like say something like no, we're like
doing a like a like you know what I'm saying.

(58:18):
You do a joke and they're like what versus like
someone that's like, oh yeah, it's freaking hilarious right there. Yeah,
which they don't necessarily have to be funny themselves, but
just has to you know, it's funny. Shay, it's very funny.
Daw what you call it? Dan In? Yeah, danja Oh
he's hilarious. Dude, he's real funny. Mike, Dude, who's funny?

(58:39):
Like who's in country? Right? Yeah, that's a that's an
interesting topic, like who's funny and country music good point. Um,
like Luke is nutty. I would use him as a
nutty Luke Brian is a nutty, a nutty guy. He's
all over the place. Yeah, he's funny because most of
them are very serious. He um laughs as he's talking
and you just laugh with him sometime. I'm looking back here.

(59:01):
Party is funny. Yeah, John Party is funny. John Party
is funny. Cassie Ashton is funny. Um. Some of them
are just sad, you know. Yeah, Yeah, that's that's Scotty
McCreery just sad. I'm just kidding Scotty. Uh, we don't
and we don't. We don't talk about him. Yeah, you
get it. That's why I did that in it. Uh,

(59:22):
Laney Wilson or you know she is. It's funny, she's funny.
But who's funny? Mike? Like around here, do we go
that dude's freaking funny, or that he comes in like
I'm suppord to having him in, or it's for me,
it's like, all right, he's coming in. I gotta like
loosen up because I just like the people that don't
have like a big like ego about themselves. Like when
I go to like, oh, you can't, like, don't joke

(59:42):
around him. He's very like, oh, come on, oh you
get that? Yeah, do you ever get hey, you're you're
funny comedian, tell me joke all the time. Do you
have something planned for When that question is asked, I'd
just be like, I mean, what do you do for
a living? I'm want to accountant. I'm like, well, do
some math for me, or like or make like if
I don't know my waitress, I can bring me some food.

(01:00:03):
That's unfair, I'm not working currently on it. And then never,
it's never has gone well for me. Like tell me
a joke to You're like, well, I don't know what
you know. If I'm in a group of people at
the Rieman, You're like, all right, these people probably from
the South or about Nashville. They're probably a certain demographic.
All right, I can probably find something from the archives

(01:00:24):
of these people I think are funny, versus like you
just an uber driver and I'm just trying to guess.
I have no idea what religion, ethnicity, politics, you have
no ideas, It's never gonna go well. Plus, if you
have one person it's like a hundred percent ers, or
if you have a thousand people and you've got five
hundred half the people laughing. You still got five hundred

(01:00:45):
people laughing. Like percentages wise, you're good. Yeah, yeah, it's
not bad. It turns out it's pretty good time and
I like good acoustics in there. You ever played the
what is it's a music for the comedy festival that's
in town? Yeah, you've done that one. Yeah, what's it called? Uh?

(01:01:07):
You used to be the wild West announced the Nashville
Comedy Festival. Maybe it was the last year of wild
West that I did. Yeah, They're like, we can't, we
can't call it the wild wild West because that's not
that's the nashville's' is not that like cowboy boots and
like like hats, Like that's not Nashville. These people are
very trendy and very right Naville. The two places that
I've lived last are they are penalized by what people

(01:01:31):
feel they are, not by what they are, meaning Nashville
in Austin, Texas. There are no cowboys in Austin. And
they go into Austin and it's like yeehaw, yeah you
know we don't, Oh there's none of that here. Yeah.
You may be like yeah, there's not not in Austin
for sure. Did you hear the clip of the comedian
that got beat up by the audience guy last night
or night before? Or you're gonna laugh? It's it's not fun.

(01:01:51):
It's not fun. It's not I mean because they these
are always my favorite, but this made me feel uncomfortable.
And I was talking about this on my show. You
can hear it, we'll play it. But Amy was like,
this happened to you, and I was like, not playing.
I play in theaters, but they can't get to me.
Like the nineties of you old usher will stop you
before that. Somebody, here's the guy. Here we go. This
is a clip hit it. I do know who you are,

(01:02:12):
so stop talking. Sound serious? He said, I do know
who you are, so stop talking. The AUNTIESCE member then
jumped out of his chair and attacked him, knocked him

(01:02:34):
on dates punched him. Who is the comedian? Yeah, his
name is pill Crow during pill a capital pill crown
is his name. I don't know who that is. But
the attacker was being shoved out the front door. He
broke a window that cost five hundred bucks to a play.
Heard the window. I heard that, and the white girl
screaming the guy who was injured. UM, so far they

(01:02:55):
have a press charges, but that sucks. That could easily
been a knife. You could have been anything. It's it's
funny because like when you go to like a like
when you if you do the Ryman, you come out
from backstage, you perform in front of security, and you
return to backstage. When you're you're you're a comedy club
or open mic, you come up from the crowd and

(01:03:17):
then return to the crowd that you just if you
made fun of somebody, like you're walking back literally past him.
But it's like, I don't I mean that that. I
got no problem with any of that. If you this
is if you say something that is offensive to someone,
then they feel the need to defend. I'm good with that.

(01:03:40):
How are you putting? I won't say hecklers. I don't
find myself getting hecklers. It's not gonnak at yellers yea
mostly encouraging yellows, but it still is terrible for spoken word.
But they think it's like, yeah, it's not. You're not helping.
How do you how do you handle a loving heckel?
You just gotta make sure I've always said you gotta
make sure the out is on your side. So if

(01:04:02):
like there's for example, lady the other day was like
just scream like like laughing way too much and being
too much in the show. I could tell that everyone
around her in her kind of area was like getting
annoyed by her. So she kept it and I was like, hey, lady,
shut up, and everybody lost it and laughed, like in essence,

(01:04:22):
like thank you, we have been feeling this for the
last ten minutes. Thank you for addressing it because we
can't because they were frustrating they couldn't hear the show,
and they paid a lot of money to be there,
and it's like, but if you got like a bachelorette,
it's just like we love you, Bobby, and you're like,
I you you freaking And then they're like, whoa, They're
gonna side with her, right because you're like that you

(01:04:45):
she didn't, we're not mad at her, And now we're
mad at you because you like, if they come out
with you with a knife, you gotta come back with
a knife. You can't come back with an atomic bomb
because they neveryone's like whoa too much, So like if that,
if that, if he said it's are you I don't
think you're funny? He's this is comedy. We are allowed
to say whatever we want. He is allowed to say

(01:05:07):
that now it's been encouraged because of YouTube and like
the Internet that people want to be like that. Now
that's everywhere, and he knows that. So people like to
yell out. There's comics that are like to make a
living on that, like just acting like these Hecklers are
like and then they like comic destroys Heckler, like, come on,
you just had like a pretty civil conversation and they laugh.

(01:05:29):
But have you've seen those like comic destroys Heckler and
you watch it like yeah, and not really though, not really.
But people live. They everybody knows everything's gonna be on
the internet. But if you go to zanties, they don't
they lock up the cell phones, you know they do
all the time, all the time. Yeah, good, yeah they should. Yeah,
I'll be concerned sometimes I'll be like, please don't record
this because I'm trying to make this funny. It's gonna
it's not gonna be as funny. Not ready yet. It's

(01:05:49):
not ready yet yet. Most people are pretty good at it,
and that's what comics get in trouble is because they
like they if a bid is wildly offensive across the line,
if it's hilarious, they'll at you. It has to be
like it's a joke about like Chris rock At the
joke about the the Freedom Tower, and you heard that joke.
He's like, you better put some mandatory stuff in there,

(01:06:10):
like you better put a d M V or like
a post office there, like a sunglass hut in there.
I ain't going in there. He didn't say he's doing it.
Doesn't better than I'd be like, man, that is terrible,
but also it's pretty funny. It's pretty like it. But
but the first time you ever told that joke, it
was probably a little clunky. He didn't know the words,
and it probably would come off as very offensive if

(01:06:31):
that showed up on the internet. But you're like, once
it's done, it's gonna be great. But it's hard. Sometimes
you worked at Chick fil a? Did Yeah, I got
fired four I tried. I was like fifteen, So first
of all, I can preface it, but I got I
stirred the lemonade with my hand because I couldn't find
they do it like Big five gallon things and I

(01:06:52):
put the lemon juice in the sugar in the water
in there, and there was like, we need refills. Now
there's people waiting at the counter, and I was like
I couldn't find this. Start just like roll my sleeve
up and like stirred it. Who Then manager came around
the corner. You can't do that. Apparently this is not
in handbook. I mean what it's not in there anywhere.
But he had one of two ways to go. What

(01:07:12):
I mean, you could not have stirted if you couldn't
find the spoon. But yeah, and you would have got
in trouble. But it's a needs big. It can't be
any spoon and suppould be a big like one of
those that you're gonna puts on the wall. Yea, like
one of the spankings. Yeah, yeh yeah, yeah, nothing I
could do with that. You how did you start? You
do MIC's open mics? Yeah? Yeah, I started in Atlanta, Georgia.
Where's your first open mic? You remember laughing skull Lounge?

(01:07:33):
And how long did you go up? And do you
remember any remember a joke from the first I remember
all of them. Okay, give me, give me what you
let with two minutes. I did two minutes. That was
what you start with. I said, uh oh, fan, all right,
so I go it's it was in the summer. It's
like in July, I got my skin gets really dark
in the summer. A lot of times people ask me

(01:07:53):
what national reality I am. The easiest way to describe
it is I'm not white, and more like wheat, No,
it wasn't. That was more laughter, that's funny. They were
like wait and then it was like no laughter. And
then I was like, well, my okay, my dad's white,
my mom's nine grain, which is like they were like
to get out of here. I think if you told

(01:08:15):
that joke now, people would laugh probably now. And then
I said, I was like a I saw a guy
walking out of Costco with like a a pallet of
two pallets of rice in four cases of D batteries,
and I was like, what does he know? It's like
it's something catastrophic is gonna happen. Now you don't have
to explain it. But I but most people don't get

(01:08:35):
that joke. And they were like what. But I was like,
somebody said you were destined for a career if you
did it and you failed miserably at it, and you
wanted to do it again and you had the bug.
As soon as I got off stage, was like, oh,
I want to do that. I have bombed? How old?
And it was horrible And I was like, oh, I
don't know, I got it now I want to do

(01:08:55):
it again, versus like some people do it and then
I never want to do that again. It was horrible.
I know where to experien and said again, and I'll
I had a job at the time. I worked in
the sports marketing company. I was moderately successful. I was like,
I'm gonna do that for the rest of my life.
And now are you making more money touring or doing

(01:09:15):
content online? Or they close? Not close at all? Touring
okay times the hundred, but but the the stuff online
fills up the live shows, So meaning do you play
stuff from one line or no? But that's why people
know of me. Yeah, they're like, how we know that

(01:09:36):
oh from the oh that guy from the football coach video. Yeah,
we'll go see him, but they don't know. No one
knows my stand up until February or until yeah, when
Netflix comes out, it's gonna be that's it's gonna be big.
Honor man, it's a big honor. Yeah, I wonder if
you're your guarantees a go up? Do you get do
you get guarantees? Yeah? Okay, yeah, I want to be

(01:09:57):
assuming here. Yeah, one of these things, we should we
do them together. I don't think so you're way You're
much funy don't have the last thing, and this is
how the radio thing, and I was like, we should
do the podcast much You're much funnier um than I am.
And I don't have a problem with that. And I'd
come out and not before you yet. I could probably
draw I could probably draw some people in for you.
You want to come to Zany's. I don't do clubs.
Come on, dude, I can't. You've never been there. Why not?
Because I'm not clubs a room. I can do big

(01:10:21):
rooms of my people. Listen, I'll do in Chicago. I'll
do two thousand people, right, yeah, yeah, you're people, Yeah,
two thousands of my people. But like, but comics were like,
I'm not as good as you want. Yeah, but listen,
comics would like a comics comic. I would like look
down on you for that. But every comic is trying
to go to Chicago and sell two thousand tickets, So

(01:10:42):
like you're hating on something that I don't think people
hate on you, but like you're but they can. I
have no problem with that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You shouldn't because they want to. They are like you
might be the best club comic ever, but you go
you can't. You go on the road and you can't
sell dirty tickets. So I mean Zany's is full of

(01:11:03):
like people that are selling their own like the Instagram
and like YouTube comics full of it because they can't.
They the the club can the club can fill the
room up on a Monday. I like sold it out
on Monday, and they're like, we're not doing anything on Monday.
If you can fill this place with your people, we
don't care if you There's a kid that the YouTuber
that opens presents that's what he does, and he does

(01:11:26):
it live. That's this whole show. And it's like people
are like crying. Kids are like crying. He does a
live show of that. That's awesome. I know you should
be like I can't believe that. But then you're like, well, respect. Respect,
that's what that's your game. That's if you can make
anyone go. I will not only forfeit my time, but
my money. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah, you're gonna get

(01:11:47):
somebody to get to spend their paycheck to come see you.
You win. Right When I was talking to Nikki, I
have guilt a whole life skill, right yeah, And I
was like, I'm doing something successful you shouldn't. And I
would be like, because she's just now started the playing
theaters and and you're like, oh, welcome to this, welcome
to the grow. I would be like, I'm embarrassed I've

(01:12:08):
been talking about it with you because she's like, I
can't believe I just sold you, like I sold that
thing out to why But I don't do that. I don't.
I'm like, I would feel guilty talking about my shows
because she's way better than I am. But I'm doing
rooms that are substantially tickets are higher and bigger. And
I would say, hey, listen, I'm a little embarrassed because

(01:12:29):
you're And she'd be like, why why would you be embarrassed.
She's like, you're obviously doing something people like you that's
making people come because okay, so what you're not as
good as stand up like you're doing something, but you're
like I didn't. I never. I'm not trying to be
compared to Stay. Yeah, you're not trying to be like
I'm hey like you're I'm assuming your Instagram is not
like biblone stand up comedian, um, stand up fair, fair fair.

(01:12:56):
That's why all the d m s slide in with
That's what the magic you's living with that? Yeah, it
was like Burner account like it's me and the two
hand emoji it's me. They love that. Yeah, all right,
let's let's do a promo here. Let's do it. If
people want to come and watch you. What is your website?
They can go change? Oh man uh John Chris Comedy
dot com c r I s T almost like christ almost. Yeah.

(01:13:17):
I got a joke about that on the show in
an old show with the current show with the old show. Okay,
you can spoil it them right, all right? Yeah, I
guess well, the clothes the closer. Oh, what's up to you?
Are you still using it? No? Okay? Hit me? All right,
So say my last name was people mispronounce it like
when we were kids, and I was always like a
funny kid growing up, and people would like telemarketers to
call the house. They're beas Mr christ there, I'll be like, no,

(01:13:39):
he's gone, and neither like where's he at? I was like,
I don't know. He left like two thousand years ago.
And then you're like, when's it going to be back?
I was like, I don't know. He told us to
be ready at any Second's stupid. You don't like that show.
I was really feeling that, really was feeling the weed
one of literally no one has ever liked the wheat.

(01:14:01):
I really was feeling the wheat joke. I think if
you did it now, just for me, just for me
and a show coming up, and just send me the
audio because I'd love to come out of podcast. We
do a whole pre roll. I do you want me
to say it is like this joke failed? No, no,
just just do it if you feel like you can do.
I'm telling you do it on Monday. You'll get a
pop and just yeah, but sell it, like, don't go
up and try to prove me wrong. Just be like,

(01:14:23):
just tell your joke like you were telling it now.
That's going to get a laugh. All right, When when
does this come out today? We'll put it up today
the podcast. Yeah, okay, so all we don't I don't
edit this all right, So I'll be like to do it.
We'll do it. I'll make an Instagram story of me.
I was like, listen to the podcast and then I'll
do it on our co out film it and I
cannot wait. Wat You probably to stop the show and

(01:14:45):
we'll be laughing for all right, all right, what we
gotta what happens if it bombs, then we'll go I
was wrong? All right? How were we going to know?
If it were? You just know there will be there
will be good laughing. I'm already nervous, but the show,
but I'm go. But you have to do that, you
have to really sell it. Yeah, Mike, let's cut this up.
I'm gonna plays on the radio shoot too, and I'll

(01:15:06):
put it on there. Yeah and so and we'll put
it on the radio show too. And but I could
it is summer, so I could be like, I just
got a tan. You don't need to do all that.
I'm telling you, I just gotta go into it, all right,
So where where am I? You know, what would be
funny doesn't be funny too? Yeah, I'm here with your permission.
Let me do the exact same joke on Friday. Oh yes,

(01:15:28):
and see who can get the biggest was a great idea.
Your skin is not that dark, but do so say
the joke again? Though, all right, you say you can
set it up, and I say, uh, my skin gets
pretty dark in the summer. People used to ask me.
People would always ask me what nationality or what race
I am. I'd say the easiest, subscribe it because my

(01:15:50):
dad's white, my mom's wheat. It may not work for
me because I'm a little wider. I don't have the
same I mean, I'd still do the joke for the
sake of just being funny and then say, well, because
you do, you are a dark featured guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
well my dad's wipe my and like, my what was it?
I forgot the tag some about nine nine? Yeah, well

(01:16:10):
it's nine great. Yeah, hit it hard, all right that
I'm just gonna come with full tiptoe into it. No,
I gotta come strong, I gotta come to this. I can't.
I would love to have done it, but I can't
pull it off. They're gonna be like, you're the dopeious
white dude. Ever, there's nothing about no just say that,
you say. Last I was out at the pool and
I had a little bit of my skin was a
little darker, like last month or something like that. I

(01:16:32):
just got back from the beach. It's almost like, hey,
what nationality are you? Yes, then I can hear why
I don't know. I'm wheat, dude. I'll get it. I
get it, I get it. Oh yeah, I'm not white,
and more like wheat, I'm not I'm not white, more
like wheat. Yeah, my dad's white, my mom's not great.
All right, all right, I gotta all right, but it's
not a companies. You're gonna win. You're funny. It's your joke.
But I will do it just for the sake of sport.

(01:16:52):
You gotta put this up and then I'll send you
the video and you just gather all content and make
something going on. Yeah, into this, I'm into this. All right,
sounds good. I'm good to talk to you, man, Like
I enjoyed talking with you. You're super funny. Now we
know each other. Yeah, and you can in to the show.
And we were like, hey did the podcast? Did the podcast?
Way to get to go through like nine of your agents? Yeah?

(01:17:12):
I kept doing like I kept seeing social media stuff
like hey what about the butt? Was like oh yeah, yeah,
we gotta we gotta get that done. We gotta do that.
And I live like ten minutes from here. But again
we kept getting knows from you, not from me, Yeah,
from somebody, Yeah, like do they not know? Yeah? Mike
D who's gets confused for the boss? Oh yeah yeah,

(01:17:36):
Abano Fabiano Yeah yeah yeah. We gotta make sure he
hears this for sure. All right? Um follow up John B.
Christ on Instagram. I go see him. It's a John
Chris Comedy dot com. Yeah yeah, um, all right, that's it. Mike,
this this over hour, huh yeah, alright, all right, thank you,
good see John out
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Bobby Bones

Bobby Bones

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