Kaitlyn Bristowe sits down with Bobby for a wild, honest catch-up that starts with their DWTS baggage, Tom Bergeron’s “OUCH” line, the show’s mental toll, and Kaitlyn admitting she literally slept with a fake mirrorball trophy to manifest a win. Bobby also owns up to kind of regretting sending his trophy back, and Kaitlyn reminds him he still earned it. Then Kaitlyn gets real about Bachelor fame, being labeled a polarizing “character,” negotiating her worth, and how the internet loves to pigeonhole you. The two swap stories on therapy, hyper-independence, and growing up around addiction, plus Bobby opens up about why he doesn’t drink and how fear has fueled his whole career. Funny, raw, and way deeper than a reality-TV recap.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Dita called me and she because you might want to pull over,
and I just started hysterically bawling. She was like, if
you get another positive, you're out of the competition. And
I was like googling how to get fake like test done.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Episode five point fifty eight with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin has
a very popular podcast called Off the Vine with Kitlin Bristow,
which you can listen to every Tuesday and Thursday, and
we put the YouTube channel in the notes here. But
I'll say this, Caitlin Bristow, she was one of the
people on The Bachelor, then she was the Bachelorette. She
(00:40):
won season twenty nine of Dancing with the Stars with
Artam and we talked a lot about Dancing with the Stars.
I don't know when you're hearing this, but when we're
posting this, it is the day of the finale of
Dancing with the Stars, and we just kind of talked
through how difficult it was for both of us for
different reasons. The things that I'm shocked by I hate
(01:01):
spoiling stuff in the early part, but that her mom
was a professional ballerino, which I thought's crazy wild, that's wild,
That's like, yeah, your dad's a former quarterback for the Vikings.
Like to do that. To be at that level, you've
got to be one so disciplined. But the amount of
work and the athleticism that goes into that's crazy. So uh,
(01:22):
I hope you check it out. Hope you listen to
all of it. It's also up on our YouTube channel,
which is at Bobby Bones channel. She also has launched
a scrunchy line called do Edit. That's it, dude. When
you get a scrunchy line, you know you made it.
Is that that thing that it's like a circle and
it goes over a plenty tail. Yeah, and a wine
(01:43):
brand called Spade and Sparrows. Here she is Caitlin Bristo. Caitlin,
we haven't met, but I feel like we have mutual people,
one that I really love who loves you. Oh yes,
so I kind of feel I told you, I feel
comfortable in this setting talking about what we're about to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yes. Wait, also we have met, so I'm not memorable.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Wait what so before you came in one of my
friends that have you met, Caitlin, and I said no twice,
that's not true. That can't be true.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It is true. I played in the like celebrity baseball tournament,
like eight years.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That doesn'tcount. There's too much that's that does account. Okay,
that is account.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And then two years ago you walked into Oku and
I was at the bar and we just quickly said hello,
like I know we've never.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Met, but that's not a real meeting.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, fine, then we haven't met.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, we've not had like a conversation because celebrity softball game.
There's there's it's too much stims, it's over I'm over stimulated,
too many people. I want to win the game. People
are fighting Florida, George Lane wants to beat each other up.
All that stuff's happening at that So okay, so we
have we've come into contact.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
That's that's. Yes, we've come into contact.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I would have felt like a real ditch if you'd
have been like wed. Yeah. We at the CMAS. We
hung out backstage, heart to heart.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
We had coffee for an hour one day, we talked
about our feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
You just flew back in.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I did last night. That's why the bags under my
eyes are bagging. Which I'm just being such an insecure
little weirdo today because usually I'm just like, whatever, I'll
own it. I'm tired. But the fact is, when I
get my face beat up with glam, I feel like
it ages me. I had to melt down. I haven't
been home in so long. I am like a crazy
person when I don't sleep, and so I'm just you're
(03:29):
gonna help me get out of this funk.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Well, when you came in, you had mentioned you almost
melted down because of some glam and I was like, no,
you don't look over made up.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Well I have an event after, so I'm like, I
needed my glam done. And then I was like, well,
i'll be on camera anyways. And then I looked in
the mirror and I went, wow, just feels a bit much.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I want to give you total autonomy. By the way,
you do a great job on your podcast, Thank you.
So I want to give you total autonomy during this show.
If there's anything that you're like, oh, you know, what
might be interesting to add because I want to talk
about dance when the stars. Of course, I love talking
about it. I have such a great relationship. Most of
my relationship with it is awesome. One of the greatest
experiences of my life.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, I was going to ask you it's.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Been soured by the hardcore fans of the show and
mostly and we can just start here. I had an
you're talking about meltdowns. I had a minor meltdown about
a week and a half ago because Tom bergeron Who
I Love Still Love Loved then. I was so surprised
(04:29):
at his reaction to the question of who's one of
the most surprising eliminations? They didn't even ask him about me, now,
had they said to the question like, who won? That's surprising?
I'm all here, I'm the most surprising ever. Yes, I
know that I am. I have total awareness of my
entire situation. But it wasn't. And he was like, well,
(04:51):
I won't answer that question, but I will tell you
what is the most surprising win. And it wasn't even that.
He just did the facial. He was like, you know
when Bobby wan an ouch and I'm like, oh my god, yeah,
like it hurt my feelings so much, hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I have a job where I give opinions all the time.
Whenever I create controversy, which I do at times, sometimes manufactured, yes,
sometimes not. I'm good because I know I've signed up
for this.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, you get it.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
When he did that, it hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I'm so sorry that would hurt my feelings.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Too, because that was somebody that was like man. He
was so like helpful to me during the show because
he knew I was struggling. You say, ouch, oh, yeah,
have you not seen the clip.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I did show me the clip because I heard everything
that I saw so much on online about it, and
I knew there's the whole thing about you sending the
mirror ball back. But I never actually saw the clip
even though I was there.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I'm just gonna hand you my just start this TikTok
over slide and turn the volume over and so it's
me talking about it, but you'll see him. Okay, so
that's the Tom stuff. But it was just a facial expan.
And also I just had footso so I was a bit.
I was on pain pills.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Oh oh, don't do anything online on pain pill.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah I did, but it popped off, so I'm kind
of happy I did it.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Sorry, table is way too long.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But I like, I still loved Tom, but that hurt
my feelings so bad.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I hurt your feelings because you love him, and that
hurt my feelings for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Over the last thing. It has been seven seasons. I
love talking to you about this because you won, you
did the show. It's like, I you were good. But
still there's like trauma bonding, like we did this, yeah,
we know the riggers, yes, of even having to get
feedback all the time online.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Well, and then I think what people also don't talk
about is after the fact, like I didn't realize duram
filming how much I needed all of this validation all
the time, and they're constantly validating but critiquing, and then
you want to impress them, and then you want to
show up the next week and be like, look, I
listened to you, and then it's just all done and.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You're like, yeah, it is over quick, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And then it's so depressing and I felt like a
I felt like, I don't know, like a hangover from
it after, but yeah, during it's just it's it's so
I don't think they ever warn people what you're signing
up for, because you're like the nice check and then
you see the work that you do, you're.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Like, oh wow, I in that video. I will say
this again, it's not that I didn't want to go
on the show. I had no intention of going. I
didn't want to go on the show.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
How were you approached?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I was on American Idol for.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Four years, so they that's how they found you.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, they find the ABC's like, Hey, we're going to
promote American Idol, So go over to them. This is
the exact conversation, Hey, we need to promote Idol because
Idol had just come back to ABC. I did season one.
They just signed me to a multi year deal for
season two and three. We want you to go over
to Dancing with the Stars and you haven't danced ever.
You'll last four weeks, max, and you'll be back in
(07:47):
time for the show. And I remember saying to them,
I've never danced. That sounds fun, but I don't If
I go, I don't plan to last four weeks. Like
I don't do anything without fully going as hard as
I can. And they're like eh. And so there was
a time too during the show where they had to
like decide if they were going to pull me off
the show because Idol was already filming and they were
(08:09):
paying me a ton of money at Idle to do
not be on Idol.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Don't you share the same stage space with Idle? There
ye small room.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
But I was also working full time, yeah, my radio
show while in la oh, and then training. There's no time.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
So how'd you do it?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I don't know. I don't know. But the controversy that
happened to it's not even a controversy. I admitted that
I said cheated. I didn't cheat. But you know, they
give us rules on how long you can dance with
your partner. I was so behind that I would go
and runt a studio by myself and put the phone
up and watch practice and just try to do it
better so I could get to practice the next day.
(08:50):
And so you really were committed though, never been more
committed to anything except my wife. Wow, that I was
so committed because I would. I wasn't even the and
this is with total respect to grocery store Joe during
the season. I wasn't the bad one.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, yeah, he was bad.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
He was the one that was it. He was the
one that everybody was like, we can't believe he's lasting,
can't It wasn't me. Yeah, And the fact that I'm
that guy now and I'm known for that is crazy.
But I remember every year since around October November, I
just get crushed at my algorithm because anybody who's bad
now it gets compared to me.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Does that hurt your feelings?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It wears on me. Yeah, so it hurts my feelings, no,
but it wears on me.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I never watched my dances back one single time until
about two months ago, and I watched them all back
and recorded me watching them.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
And how did it go?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I wasn't as bad as everybody made me feel.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Really, Oh that's nice?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So did you did you get emotional watching? Not like cry,
but were you like feeling?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I was proud of myself in a different way because
I wasn't as bad as I was made to believe
I was. I'm not good, by the way, and I
don't think I'm sure, but I what you like? I
think a buzz Aldrin did the show or something.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Is a astronaut and he was like one hundred. He's
like one hundred and ten.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I felt like people told me I was him.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Oh, I'm gonna have to go back and watch your
dances because I watched your season. I can't even remember
who your partner.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Was, Sharna, Yes, he was your partner.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Artam.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh, yeah, was he on your season? Yes, I liked Ardam.
He didn't say a lot.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
He's okay. Outside of the ballroom he is like a
little teddy bear. He's such a sweetie. And in the
ballroom he is very intense. But I feel like that's
like the Russian culture. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
The two things I learned most about Russians and Mormons
on the show. I'm basically a Mormon, just not the
religious part. I'm the most Mormon person I've ever met,
except for the religious part.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Wait, don't me more.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I don't drink, I don't do any I don't take
no chemicals, nothing.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Really, Yeah, have you always been like that?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh yeah, I've never had a drink of alcohol ever
in your life. It's my Mormon culture. No, you're actually
I've never had a drink of alcohol.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
But you're not actually Mormon.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, okay, but I'm saying like I'm as close to
Mormon the religious part of.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So I learned about Mormons because I grew up in Arkansas.
We didn't have oh, there was not a Mormon population. Yeah,
and then Russians. We also didn't have a large Russian
contingent in the state of Arkansas makes sense.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor,
and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh do this game with me?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Okay, superlatives okay.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Best all around of the pros. Daniella Okay, I didn't
have Daniella.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh. I could watch her dance. Sometimes, I'm like, am
I gay for her?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Like I'm like, so I tracked that way with Vao.
I thought that was val I gay for him? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Like, there's just something about their swag, the way they move,
how they can do it, the fact that they can
put aside that they could look like they're madly in
love with whoever their partner is, and they compartmentalize it
because that is their job. And they just know that
chemistry translates to the audience. And I yeah, Vell and Daniella.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I don't know. Danielle. Her choreography is awesome, amazing. I'm
gonna go for me because I didn't put any restrictions
or any rules. I'm gonna go. Emma was my favorite.
She's the best, like Nobel Human Peace Prize Award, agreed.
I agree, I would have mental. I had troubles during
(12:38):
my season, Like like we all did at some point, and
she would step in and be like, I wonder, let
me help you.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I wonder what that would have felt like for me,
because I ardam was going through some stuff at home
while we at our season, and so if I cried,
he'd be like, you're wasting my time. And I agree
with him, I was wasting time because we really wanted
to win. And I would always tell him, and he
knew if I said I had to go blow my nose,
(13:07):
that means I was going to the bathroom to cry
for five minutes and get it out of my system
and come back and be ready. But Emma, I just
got to work with her when I was dancing with
Andy two weeks ago, and I was like, she is
the most patient, fun kind.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
P plus every in every way.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh my god, She's just wonderful. And the way I
saw her work with Andy was I I just, yeah,
she's an A plus human being.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I reached out to Andy, and just for the mental
health part of it, yeah, because he started to get it. Yeah,
And I was just like, you probably don't need this,
you're the dude. But everybody thinks everybody's okay unless they ask.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I bet you needed that. And I was just like, hey,
if you need to talk about any of this mental
health stuff, like, it's real on this show. And so
he hit me up again after it was over, and
he was like, dude, thank you so much for that.
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I was surprised how much he opened up to me
on my podcast about mental health, because again, you're right,
you don't know until you ask, and he just seems
like this, you know, happy to be here, humble, the
kind of guy. But it really does once you get
in it. Like the first week you're like what am
I doing? And then the next week you're like, okay,
I'm kind of in, and then week three, four or
five you're just like, I need to be here. This
(14:18):
is my home now, I am not going anywhere, and
you it just, yeah, all of your competitiveness comes out,
which obviously you're competitive. I am so competitive.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
How would have died on the stage?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I would have gone so hard? Yes? I would have
never left the building. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Like at one point the doctor told me I should
stop because I had tendonitis in both ankles and my
ribs and everything, and I was like, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
You know I love that because I tore I fell
on the first dance. I tore my shoulder. I came
to the we'll just say a professional team doctor. Yeah,
and he said, you're not gonna hurt it worse, but
you're gonna have to shoot it and numb and I shot.
Wasn't anything to do with ABC or Dancing with the Stars,
but I found a doctor. Yeah, and he shot me up.
Every week I did.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I did that in my ankle, except it wasn't. They
had it at the show and they were fine with it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yours was probably legit. I was going I was using
something I probably shouldn't have used. You can't do every week? Yeah,
and he was like, this is it gonna hurt?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So and it helped.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Oh my arm, it felt like the greatest arm that's
ever been created.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Still have injuries from that.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Now it's now it's just sore. If it rains, that kind.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Of thing that's his age.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
If it gets cloudy, like it hurts. When did you
know you were going on?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Oh my gosh, do you know the story about how
I got on? So I when I came off being
the Bachelorette. The creator of the whole show, he never
really liked me. I still don't think he really want me.
Of which show, The Bachelor and Bachelorette, he kind of
made it known that he didn't like me, like it
wasn't a secret. And so when I came off the show,
(15:45):
he Crystals was the Bachelor that I was on, and
he did Dancing with the Stars and then they called
me and they said, do you want to come on
the show? I freaked out because I danced my whole life,
which I know is also controversial with that show that
I danced background, but my mom was a professional ballerina.
It was like my dream too.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Mom was a pro ballerina. That is so cool.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, she was one of the original members of the
Alberta Ballet Company in Canada. And so I just I
quit dancing at twenty five because I wasn't good enough
and I chose to not get any education after high
school because I was like committed to wanting to dance,
and so I felt like I failed as a dancer,
and it was just always in the back of my mind.
And when I went on The Bachelor, I was like,
(16:27):
maybe I could go on Dancing with the Stars and
like make my dreams come true. And so they asked me,
and I remember just sobbing. I was so excited I
had the contract, I had it signed, and I was
so new to TV. I don't know anything about what
I signed for The Bachelor. I just was scribbling my
initials and everything went here you go. And so they
were like, no, you can't do it. And the creator
(16:47):
of the show said to me, I'm really sick of
people wanting fame after my show, and you can focus
on your relationship that you just had from the show instead,
and I was I don't know how they didn't sue me.
I went, I took it to Twitter and I was like, sexist,
blah blah blah, Chris Soul's got to do it. All
the men have gotten to do it, they haven't had
(17:08):
a girl. And then all of a sudden, Hannah Brown
became the Bachelorette and then she got to go on
Dancing with the Stars, and so everyone was tweeting me
or reaching out and being like she went on the
floor or yeah, and I was like, I was like,
I'm not mad, I'm happy. I spoke up to say like,
why doesn't he let women go on the show, and
why have all the men gotten to and so I
was happy for her. And then it was COVID and
(17:31):
uh they were doing like a Bachelor Goat show where
they were doing the best seasons and recapping them with
Chris Harrison. And so Chris Harrison was like, will you
jump on a zoom with me to recap your show?
I said yes, and at the end he goes, well,
I have a really important question for you, and I
was like what he went well, I could still cry.
He was like, do you want to go on Dancing
(17:51):
with the Stars? And I I was just in pure shock,
like I just my reaction was just and I couldn't
even speak.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I know it's coming, no idea.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And it was so long after I'd been on the
show that I was like, I feel like, well, washed
up reality start at this point, like you really want
me to go on? And then to win. It felt
like such a full circle because I'd always wanted to
be looked at as a dancer and it was just
so exciting for me. I always tell my Canadian I'm Canadian,
and so I always say it's like it's like somebody
not making it to the NHL, being really close but
(18:22):
not making it, and then ten years later getting asked
to play in the Stanley Cup finals and winning and
knowing what that feels like. I was like, this is
my Stanley Cup.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
So it really mattered to you oh so much.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
It was again like that you know how it is.
The whole experience was just so incredible. And even though
I was like in the fetal position crying every night
and my bones were broken and I was just like
falling apart, I was like, I can't wait till the
next day and I can't wait to make it another week,
and I'm like I will win that. I would hold
a fake mirror ball when I slept and I would manifest.
I was crazy. So yes, it meant everything to me.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
My favorite memories are going with like em and Sasha
were married at the time, Yes, with like Emma Sasha,
even Allen going to air one, Yeah, because that's where
we would go right there, always just like that's what
we'd go, get some food before we went back, and
like it is such everybody just kind of becomes a unit.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It is such family vibes. Like even going back last week,
which I haven't been on the show in four five years,
everyone is just acts like you've never left. It just
feels like such a family over there. It was why
didn't you come to the twentieth ever? Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I tried to go. I did. It was the Thursday
before the Tuesday of the show, and I was having
surgery and I told my doctor, Hey, I'm supposed to
go to LA Yeah, and he's like, unless you want
to get a blood clot in your leg, oh, you're
not going to LA. I was very sad I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Go because every everything would have been so different as
if they would. Do you think he would have Oh,
because he didn't say it in the ballroom, No he didn't,
So he said it on an interview after. Yeah, it
still would have went the same an.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Interview leading up to because he came back that episode. Yeah.
I also loved Tom Bergern even still did he Have you.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Talked to him, like personally since stop? I was gonna say,
shut up, that's mean, okay, shut up?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, No I haven't. I really why I don't feel
bad about any of this controversy is that I never
said anything negative about anybody. Yeah, there have been times
I've said things and I regret it and I'm like, oops, Yeah,
shouldn't have said that. I have nothing negative to say
about the show. I've said things at times about how
toxic the extremely hardcore fans are of that show, But
that can happen with sports teams too. Oh like I
(20:26):
fight with Freakin Texas Longhorn fans like crazy, Like, if
you're passionate, it's toxic.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It's true. The fans like they're so loyal to the show.
I mean even Bachelor Nation fans like, man, they think
you are a character on a show, and they pigeonhole
you into this one thing and they will die on
that hill that that's who you are. And they do
the same thing with Dancing with the Starts. You write
sports anything like for women, Bachelor is their super Bowl,
(20:52):
Like that's it's it is, and and fans are crazy
good and bad and you need both.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, and mostly you see the bad because the algorithm
puts out what gets engagement, and you know it gets
engagement people saying negative things.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, it's so true. The algorithm really does me dirty.
Sometimes I'm like, why are you showing me this?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Do have you watched your dances back? Do you watch
them back?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Like every day?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Yeah, I'm so proud of me winning. I don't want
I never want anybody to think I like hate anything
about it. Yeah, I get upset a section of it.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
That's so fair.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And I was made to feel I was really bad
at dancing, which I was bad, and then I got
to be okay. But my triumph is Vegas put out
the odds before the show. I was last. Really yeah, there,
I have like the screenshot of like when Vegas put
it out and you could bet I was dead last.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
That's even better. I love an underdog story. But also,
do you are you a little sad you sent the
mirror ball back? Like, are you like, actually, I do
want to be back because you are proud of.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
It a little. I did the opera a few days
later and I was playing the operator. I was playing
a song. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I sent the
mirror ball back. I kind of regret it, but someone
has reached out to me from.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
The network and they said they would give it back.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's whatever I want.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh what do you want?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, I feel like you should take it back, coming
from somebody who I react with emotion a lot, and
I've been in therapy for it for about ten years
to try and remove myself and take a deep breath
before I do anything. I still find it very hard
and I get myself in trouble a lot with that.
But that is something that it's like, look at all
(22:27):
these things you have behind you, like it's you deserved that,
and it doesn't matter what Tom said. It can hurt
your feelings.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It's not just about Tom.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
The association sometimes was like I look at that and
I'm like, that's the only thing I've ever done where
I purposefully just tried hard. Yeah, worked hard, tried to
make people better around me. I would help other contestants
for on their camera time. I'm like, guys, I know
you're working on all the dance, but you know what's
going to pay off is you talking to the camera.
(22:58):
So I would like work with some of the some
of the other contestants there, like I did everything I
could to help and then for people to go, we
think you're less than That was my association with that trophy.
There are things where I get it where I'm like,
people don't like me because I say this or feel
this way signed up for that. This is the only
thing where I was like the underdog who came who won,
(23:19):
and then that's held against me. And so that association
kind of it soured it a bit.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I mean, I will say even when Neive Schulman was
the runner up on my show, and sometimes I would like,
go and look at his comments, and it doesn't even
to this day, like post something, if it has anything
to do with Dancer with the Stars, every comment is
how he should have won over me.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And I'm like, oh, I'm so glad that happens to
you two.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Oh yeah, because it's so it's such a prideful thing
that winning that mirror ball, and nobody will ever understand
how hard you work or what you do behind the
scenes because it's such a joyful show. And they show
snippets when you're literally grinding in there for eight hours
a day. You don't get a day off. You don't
even get a Sunday off camera blocking is Monday and
(24:03):
then or Sunday, and then it's the rehearsal in the show.
You are so mentally physically drained that like, nobody will
ever understand unless you do it, And to do it
that many weeks in a row, to make it to
the end and have people questioned or not like that
you won it, you just almost want to punch them
in the face, because you're like, you do it. That's
(24:23):
a show right there, to go out and find people
who are trolls and then make them do what you do,
like sit in that chair and hold a podcast and
or go do one dance class.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I was like, just punch them in the face. I
was going to sign up for that show. That's show.
Just find it for all and punch them in the face.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
That would be I mean, that's that is a dream
show for me to work on.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, after I won, I don't know what happened after
you won that night. Yeah, can you walk me through
the night.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Yes. It was very different from most things because I
was in COVID season.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Oh that sucks.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
So I didn't even have an audience. I had a
laugh button machine and a clap button machine, and there
was no one there, and we weren't allowed to hang
out with each other, and we weren't allowed to go
in the room and help each other, and we had
to get tested every day, and if you got COVID,
you were out of the competition, and I was. I
got a false positive COVID test. Dita called me and
(25:17):
she goes, you might want to pull over and I
just started hysterically bawling. She was like, if you get
another positive, you're out of the competition. And this was
week eight when I'm like in it, and I was
like no, and I was like googling how to get
fake like test done.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You can go to my doctor. That was shooting me
up at I.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Shouldn't have gotten to your guy, but I just I
went and it was actually a false false positive. I
did three tests at the clinic. It was all negative.
I got to go back. But the night, the night
that I won, I remember, it was like everybody had
to be six feet apart, so we were like talking
(25:55):
with like masks on. And then after Neiva actually had
people over and so we all went to party after.
But I just like sat with my mirror ball on
the rooftop of this hotel I was staying at and
drank wine and Neva was like, Oh, you're not gonna
come over. You're too good to come over, and I
was like final show up. I went there, nobody was there.
(26:17):
I was just drunk. Neve and I was like, did
everybody leave it? He was like yeah, And I was like,
why why don't you tell me everyone went home? And
he's like, because I think we should do a bit
online about like it's blah blah blah for me. And
so he was like all bitter and he was drunk
and he wanted to do this video for social media
that we did post and it ended up being funny.
(26:38):
But I still think he's mad at.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Me, probably at what you didn't allow him to have, right,
not you. Everybody likes you, which is weird, I'm gonna
be honest think so yeah, because most people, hey, I
don't get I think people that have done your franchise, Yeah,
there's not universal love for really anybody else from in town. Yeah,
(27:01):
like some of my closest friends, especially two okay, love
you as a huge because we haven't spent any time.
I guess we met. I was like, what up high five?
Other than that, yeah, but because I was like, I'm
going to talk about it with somebody.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I was so honored. Do you ask me?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And they both were like, she's the greatest person, and
that's not often said about people. I think those shows
change people too, absolutely, not just your show, because I
did again, I did four years of American Idol, so
I have a different kind of experience with reality television.
But no, people like, as a person, spoke very highly
of you.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
That means a lot. Thank you for sharing that with me,
because I sometimes I'm like, yes, because I'm Canadian, I'm
just nice.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
You guys are really nice, but.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I am also very spicy, but it's genuine, like I
will stand up for what I believe in and sometimes
people like I'm very like polarizing online. But I think
if people know me, they know my heart. So I'm
okay with that. But it is it. I always thought
it was so crazy when I came off Bachelor, I
was so hated, not by humans that knew me, so.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I didn't I didn't watch Yeah, so oh, I had
a what was your I'm gonna say character because they
do absolutely edit you into what they want you to be.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh, I was like the raunchy, sexualized.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Did you go on as a contestant first? Yes? Did
you win? No?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
So I went on as a contestant and the Bachelor
guy he was he was a farmer, and I was like,
I need him to know my humor right out of
the limo. So I went up to him and I
was like, I don't really know much about you, Like
I know your name's Chris, and I know you're a farmer,
so I'd a plow out to your field any day
as a joke, which, by the way, this was like
(28:46):
ten years ago. So I thought that was hilarious, and
he thought it was hilarious, but they edited it to
make it seem like he was like, oh god, really,
and then I was like, but he actually thought it
was hilarious, and I was like, okay, good. He laughed,
and so then I just became like the edgy can
with tattoos who swore a lot and talked about sex
and that is a small part of me.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Have tattoos, yes, And.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Then I was sent home. There's three of us left.
I was very sure he was going to pick me.
I was like, he's aissle thing.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
He's definitely Oh so you thought you'd win.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Oh yeah, he sent me home. I was devastated. And
then the show's therapist was like, are you really devastated
or were you just in the bubble? And I was
like oh. And then I came back and then they
asked me to be the bachelorette, and then they put
two bachelorettes on my season, and the men got to
decide who they wanted to be the bachelor.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So you finally So this is why this this sucks
for you for two reasons. One, you finally are the one,
except there's another one and then you go to Dancing
with the Stars yeah, which is also awesome, but then
it's COVID.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Like you got limited awesomeness in both the things that
should have been one hundred percent awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I know it was. It was tough, but I mean she,
the girl that I was pitted against, was actually a friend,
so we didn't We tried to not it so seriously.
But again, I'm very competitive, and it was more about
like winning to me than like because I'm like, if
they pick her, these just aren't guys for me. But
also like pick me because I need.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
To win and that you're going to be the person
and then you're not. That's kind of a mind screw.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I know. I made sure I negotiated the hell out
of my contract for that one, because I was like,
if I go home night one, I still better get
paid something.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
So you didn't get with the dude in one, Please
excuse my ignorance, no, I because I don't expect you
know anything about me. No, actually I didn't did you
get with anybody from when you were the Bachelorette? Did
you marry anybody from me?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I got engaged and I was with him Sean Booth.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Do you know how that is?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Uh? Wait?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Ye has Jim? Yes, got it.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I was with him for three and a half years,
and in the contract for a Bachelorette, if you stay
together longer than two years, you get to keep the ring.
So I still have the ring from that. But we
broke up and then I started dating another bachelor guy,
which was in my head, I'm going it just felt
you know when you like bond with people, I guess
it could be a trauma bond.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And you just know what you know, this experience.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah, so I was like, oh, I'll go for another
bachelor guy. Great, and speak about like you were saying,
you know, some people change from getting I always compare
it to like a drug, and people get a little
taste of what it feels like to be famous from
the Bachelor of the Bachelorette, and it really does change them.
And I've seen it happen so many times and it
(31:34):
was really important to me going in. Even when I
was like walking out of that limo, I was like
I'm I don't care if people hate me. I'm going
to be myself. I'm not gonna let this change me.
And I remember at the very end, all of a sudden,
like all these interviews were happening and people were recognizing me,
and I was getting all these opportunities, and I remember
being so overwhelmed, and I got very depressed because I
(31:56):
just didn't know how to like function after it being
so much manipulated and drinking so much and not sleeping
and then picking this guy who was mad at me
for sleeping with somebody else in the fantasy suites, and
I was just like in a really bad place. And
I just remember in that moment going just go back
to being you. Just be you, and everything will align
(32:17):
with what you want in life if you're just yourself
and you stay humble. And I was always so important
to me to not let it change me. And my
dad always says to me, He's like, I'm so proud
of you, and he goes, it's not for all of
your accomplishments, he goes, it's still because you're the same person,
just a more evolved version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Why are you here in Nashville?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Because Sean lived here, and so when we got engaged,
he came to Vancouver, where I was living, and we
stayed there for a few months, and then we moved
to Nashville.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
The Bobby Cast will be right back. This is the
Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Is this home now?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yes? I've been here for ten year, which is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Oh oh you have been here a long time. Yes,
I've been here thirteen. So around this way?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
So where you said again? I forget where you said
you grew up.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I grew up in Arkansas. It's all right, yeah, okay,
have you ever been there?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
But I really want to go to oh, what's it
called where the people who own Walmart?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Like Bentonville?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Bentonville.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You want to go to that town?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I do because my best friend moved there and she
said it's they like redid the whole city, Like it's.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Northwest Arkansas is awesome. Yeah yeah, it's where also the
University of Arkansas is. It's the best. Oh yeah yeah
yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Have you ever been in Canada?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah? Toronto. Thought somebody was robbing me. They were just
giving me directions.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I was on my phone. I was like, I can't
find this restaurant and someone comes up behind me, and
I was like, oh God, and they were like, we
can help you. And I was like this the kindest
I know people ever.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
They really are. Like I whenever I go back home,
especially the province of Alberta where I grew up, and
I feel like people, it's just so boring there and
there's really nothing to do, and we call ourselves just
prayer people, where we would just have fun going out
into the middle of a bush and just having some
beers and like laughing at that's.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
A small town rural Arkansas too.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just that's crazy that you've never
had a drink as or a reason or is that personal?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Both? Okay, but I talk about it. I mean's it's personal.
But I've talked about it a lot. Oh okay, I
like that. You don't know anything about me, so I don't.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, you don't have to get bad.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
But my mom had me. She take it pregnant fifteen, okay.
She was an attic. Died in her forties. My dad
left when I was like five. He's an attic. He's
still around, not me. I don't know him. Yeah, so
had addicted parents.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
One that was never there, one that was there, but
she even my mom left and I was adopted, So
it was just a lot of that, and so early
on I was like, hey, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, wow, that could have went one of two ways.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
That's exactly right, and it would have gone the other
way for sure, because I get addicted to everything that
I do, and I think some of its insecurity because
I want to prove that I'm worthy.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Of course, that makes so much sense, it does. I mean,
I was thinking that I never want to say it
up loud, but that I'm sure you've known that about yourself.
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
And I talk about an a therapy a lot. Well, yeah,
my whole career is based off of fear. Fear, see, yeah,
And I have had a great career and I've grew
up very poor and now I'm not. Yeah, and so
all the things are right, but still there's still so
much insecurity that really I have awareness of. It's not gone.
(35:25):
I just have awareness of it. And that's the value
of me going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I relate to this very much, not to the parents,
being like my dad actually was an attic. He's thirty
five years sober, and my mom and they were just
the most loving parents, like that I could ever ask
for it. But I felt like my worth really came
from performance and dance and how I looked and how
I came across and just not like who I was inside.
(35:50):
And so I grew up very much thinking like I
had to look a certain way. I had to be
the best at dance, I had to be the best.
I had to be the most popular girl at school,
and I would get praised for those kinds of things,
even though my parents still like, really like I was
a very unique kid.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
I was very shy at first and then very outgoing,
and I had the most offside sense of humor. I
swear all the time, I would drink all the time.
They just let me be who I was. But my
worth was always on performing and winning and being the best.
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I don't so much enjoy winning as I hate losing,
because if I lose, I feel like everybody thinks I'm
less than them.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah I'm the exact, even to a point where I've
worked on this in therapy, Like I get competitive in
relationships because I don't like to feel less than my partner,
which is so silly.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I have a wife that is smarter than me, and
it's been really hard for me to deal with that
because I've always been the smartest person. And that was
definitely it's a weird thing to say. Both are weird
that I was in this, but yeah, that's it's it's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Being My therapist always says, because I'm like, well, at
least I'm self aware, Like I know when I'm being ridiculous,
i know when i'm being competitive, i know when I'm
being reactive. I'm so self aware, and she goes, I
would say that's self reflective. I don't know if you're
self aware. And I was like, oh, to quote Tom
berdron out out.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
To quote Tom Burger on oh gosh, I found like
because I did a lot of stand up yeah, or
would play music or would you know in the radio show,
Not so much the radio show with like receiving praise
in real time, but I would go out and I
think I only started performing to find love, like some
(37:45):
kind of love, not romantic love, but just any sort
of love at all. Yeah, Like, and it was like
it's like I feel loved, I'm funny, I'm awesome. But
then when it would really suck as you go back
to your hotel room after a show. I've just done
a theater and you're like kind of alone again.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, it's the high highs and the lows, and you
feel those very much. I'm the same way. I really feel.
I being like content is weird for me. I either
want to be like yeah. Either I'm either like really
low and like I'm not doing enough and I'm a failure.
Or I'm really high and I go, okay, I love
being here, or I need to stay here.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
How do you do with vulnerability?
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I okay again, Everyone that follows me online would say
I'm the most vulnerable person. People stop me and say
thank you for being so vulnerable, and then my therapist
tells me that I'm terrible at it. She goes, you
hate being vulnerable, and I think I'm just good at
being self reflective. I think I'm good at I could
talk about my insecurities all day long, but I don't
(38:42):
like sitting in discomfort, which is also vulnerability. So if
there's like bad things happening, or someone's in an argument
with me, or like someone wants to say I was
dating someone and we got in a fight, I want
to just be like, Nope, it's not happening, and I'll
go sleep and I'll ignore it and pretend it's not happening.
I have a really hard time sitting in discomfort, so
(39:02):
like yes and no to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Similar I'm excellent at performative vulnerability, which is true, It's
all true. But if I'm doing it, and I think
I'm doing it for a larger reason, man, my first
book ate me up because I put it all out
and that was not that hard for me. But when
one person would want to talk to me about it
(39:26):
one on one, or like even especially with like my
wife or like a close friend, I'm really bad there
the same, Yeah, really bad there. Yeah, I'm not very
good at being vulnerable one on one.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I wonder what that is because I'm the exact same,
and I don't like performative always sounds so bad to
me because I'm not going to name his name people
will know anyways. But one of my exes like just
felt very performative to me, and I can't stand when
people just can't be who they are and to me.
I sometimes I would podcast about vulnerability and I'd like
(40:00):
do research more on it to talk like I would
to have more knowledgeable And then I'm like, am I
doing this to get something and to feel connection with
other people? Or am I doing it because I really
want to talk about it? And I've had to check
myself so many times to make sure I'm not being performative.
But you're right, that's a real thing, and it's true.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Both can be true. Yeah, yeah, two things can be
true at once.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
That's I used to call myself a walking contradiction. But
then my therapist how many times drink every time I
say I agrapas would say, no, You're just like a
walking image of two things can be true at once.
You hold those two, you do that, And I'm like,
that's a good point. I really do. And I think
people always think, Like when people are like are you happy,
(40:39):
I'm like, what hour is it? I don't know? Being
happy is You're supposed to, as a human being, feel
a range of emotions daily. So am I happy right
now in this moment? Sure? But like that's small talk
for you.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I guess I don't have a range. What do you
mean my battle has been my emotion? Is this all
the time?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Really?
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I know I ever get sad, but I never get
that happy. And now my wife has changed me at
like my core at that because she comes from a
very healthy family. She knows how to love, she knows
how to say it, she knows how to show it,
she knows how to receive it. I'm the worst at
receiving it, wow, because it never felt like I deserved it,
Like if they really got to know the real me,
they wouldn't love me as always been kind of.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But that makes so much sense with what you've been
through in your life.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
So it's just here because I feel like if I
know you have no expectations, I can't get hurt. But
the problem is if you don't have the ability to
go down, you don't have the ability to go up
right you can It's a pendulum, yeah, like you can
only go as high as you do low and so
go too far well, And I think both are different
kinds of I don't want to say problems, but different
(41:46):
kinds of bills we pay to work through with our therapists.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yes, my gosh, she makes a great living off of me.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Let's do more superlatives for some of the stars. Because
I didn't I didn't come up with these, but I
think this is fun and you can throw one back
at me too, But who is like the coolest pro Pasha?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Why Danielle's husband there? There is something just so did
you ever meet him?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
They came in after Its okay?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
So Pasha is just so sure of himself and his
relationship with Daniella. They have so much love and respect
for one another. He is so patient and kind, He's
very undercover, funny, and the way he dances is just
so smooth and cool, and I just if you're a dancer,
(42:34):
I feel like a lot of dancers feel like the
need to be on at all times, and Pasha just
doesn't feel that way to me. He's like, even when
he's on, he still it feels like he's just himself.
And that's what I think is cool about him.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I'm going to give mind a vow for a couple
of reasons. One, he freaking plays a violin at a
high level.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I know that's the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
And it's two things that traditionally men wouldn't go A
dance and violin player. That's masculine. That dude is a
masculine dancing violin player. And he's also so not was
so nice to.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Me, really, yeah, was because I heard he's tough in
the ballroom all they.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
All yeah, yeah, yeah, And my partner was really hard
on me. She should have been. She wouldn't have got
out of me what she got out of me. But
we also had the conversation early like I was like, hey,
I have to be coached yea, and you cannot coach
me too hard because we have the same goal and
it is to win.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
She thought it was crazy because she thought there was
no chance we were going to win. She had made
the finals multiple times and with a backstreet boy with
a pro player, never won, so I was her first
win of all people. But yeah, you can't coach me
too hard. But we did have that conversation early where
you got to if I need it, and we fought,
Oh I bet.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, I feel like they all do.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Yeah. You're just close to that person so much that
you fight with your friends occasionally. Yeah, and that relationship
and you had it with your party. You're just together
so much.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Well, And I don't like being told what to do
me either.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
And something you said earlier was you go in you
have to learn. We're toddlers again.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yes, yes, And I don't like being bad at something.
And as I came in as people thinking I'm a dancer.
So then I felt like I was just disappointing everybody
with not being able to pick things up.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, I go and I'm running like shows and I
got multiple podcasts, I got TV shows on, and all
of a sudden, in that room, I am the lowest
of low, not as a human but at my skill level. Yeah,
and I'm not used to that because I'm used to
running everything because I've built everything myself. Yes, it is
a hard check.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Oh, you have hyper independence, like hyper yes, and I don't.
I don't really know where. I think my hyper independence
comes from the fact that I thought, and I was
taught to believe, that I would just find a man
to rely on and that that's what would make me happy.
And so when I quit dancing, I found a very
successful hockey player, as a Canadian does, and I went,
(45:02):
oh my god, how great. I'm not gonna work, I'm
going to travel. I get to follow him around and
he makes great money, and I learned so quickly that
that is not the life for me. And that was
when something shifted in me, because he broke my heart
to like to a point where I actually had to
go see like psychiatric help because I was like, I'm
(45:23):
not okay. I need help. And I've said this before
on a podcast. I actually got addicted to valume. I
was on antidepressants, which I still am on antidepressants, but
I like just was like, I can take a pill
and numb myself and not feel anything. This is awesome.
I moved in with my parents back at the age
of like twenty seven, and I was like then, I
was like, I'm a loser. So I got my act together.
(45:44):
I started building myself back up. I started going to therapy,
and then I felt like that's when I really needed
to prove, like I could do everything by myself. I
will never rely on a man because I was just
relying on him emotionally.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Oh so hard. Wasn't too hard? So too hard?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Where now it's a coping mechanism and I still work
on that, Like I just want to do I want
to prove that I can do everything by myself because well,
mostly with men. But it's all because of a heartbreak?
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Is it because of the heartbreak? It's it's not.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Dad, Oh God, my Dad's my hero. He's the best
man I've ever met in my life and like the
bar is so high he is, and I think it's
because he's sober. He's so consistent. He does AA. He
will not miss an AA meeting every Monday, and it's
the steps they go through every Monday. It's just so
cool because he lives a life that he's just so
(46:35):
proud of and he's just the kindest man I've ever met.
So no daddy issues for me.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Are they still together your mom and dad?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
No, they're friends though they like still talk and text
and SA happy Birthday, And it wasn't it was. It
was a little messy there for a minute. But they
divorced when I was eighteen years old, which was kind
of like, it's.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
An odd time to divorce, very odd. You're not even
there with Did you live with them at eighteen?
Speaker 1 (46:58):
I did. I moved out at nineteen. Yeah, And it
was it was just one of those things where my
sister and I were both like, Okay, you guys, it's time,
like you don't have.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
To hold on. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, But they're both remarried and have been for a
very long time to the most wonderful people that make
sense for them. I can't even imagine my parents together.
My mom is such a firecracker and she is so
wild and crazy, and my dad is just like so
even keeled. And now he's with somebody else who's very calm,
and then my mom's with somebody who just loves her
(47:32):
chaotic like energy. And oh, I'm a mixture of both.
I would say I'm definitely more my mom. And if
people meet my mom, they go, wow, the apple does
not fall far. And then if my best friend, like
my best friend has spent time with my dad and
she's like, oh, that's where your kind heart comes from,
I'm like, cause he's just the best.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our
sponsor and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
When have they been the most proud of you?
Speaker 1 (48:10):
See, that's a tricky one because I think my dad
has been the most proud of me, like as of recently,
because of staying humble and not letting everything get to
my head. I feel like he I thought he was
going to tell me he was dying because he was like, Caitlin,
can I he comes to visit me all the time.
He's like, can I just take you in another room
and talk to you for a second about something? And
I'm like you're dying because my brain goes Doomsday all
(48:33):
the time. And he went through all of my accomplishments
and he was like, this is kind of the same
thing as what I was saying earlier. He was like,
but I am the most proud of you for just
who you are as a person today, and so I
feel like he's the most proud of me for that.
My mom, I would say, she does deep down feel
the same way, but she is such a like she's
(48:53):
like me the mirror ball. It felt like she won the.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Mirror ball, like she was a ballerine, I know.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
And she's just like I think she's really I think
she's really the most proud of my accomplishments.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Which it's cool that you're kind of covered on both sides,
and you know what, they both are probably also proud
of the other thing.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Too, Yeah, for sure, Like I.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Don't think that it's your dad's just who you are.
I think he's also proud the work that you've put in, yes,
and your mom the opposite. But it's cool that you
kind of covered on both sides.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Well, my mom definitely, I think has a little bit
of like she should have done this, Like she definitely
gave up her dream of dancing to marry my dad,
and then she became a mom, and then she felt
like she really lost herself. So I feel like she
kind of likes to live vicariously through me, which is
sometimes like ah, and other times I'm like I get it.
I'd be the same way.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
If they asked you to come back and do Dancing
with the Stars again, would you do.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
It without a doubt?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah? Really?
Speaker 1 (49:49):
What about you? I was actually talking to Kevin about
this earlier. I worked out with him this morning and
we were talking about an All Star season and I
was like, I'm going to ask him if he would
do that, because I'm very, very curious.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
You'd have to No, I'm going to say something from
what I know. They're obviously not doing another All Star
season that I know.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I don't know anything I try and get them to
all the time.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
I have been asked because it has become a thing
that I have been bad and if I would come
back and just be a part of it again, what
do you mean that I can tell you? But interesting,
I think I'm kind of like an anomaly that they
(50:38):
would want to see if that anomaly would repeat itself.
And you say, no, I've not said anything.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Okay, okay, because it's not been.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
A hey, we want to offer. I don't think. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yeah, I'm picking up what you're putting in.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
I really have nothing to gain by it, right, And
I think one of the weird things of me winning
is people like, well, you use your audience.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
It's a voting show.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Yeah, and everybody uses whatever audience that got them there,
if it's social media. Because I work.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Currently the TikTok star, she's got like a hundred million followers,
of course she's gonna win.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
People are like, well, you you talk to your audience
every morning and they voted on your radio show or
your podcast. And I'm like, yes, that's that's that's accurate.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Yeah, when you did that TikTok the other day or
maybe it was Instagram whatever, it was about, like this
is my impression of Dancing with the Stars fans because
they don't make sense.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
Yeah, it's like they hold it against you for having
dance experience. Yeah, this is just about dance, and then
they do the opposite when it fits the narrative that
they want. Because I felt like Whitney was really good,
she was una really good the ball.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
I was sitting in the audience when she got sent home,
and I like grabbed the two people behind beside me.
I grabbed their arms and I like gasped audibly. I
was like, because I'm like, that just goes to show
the internet is so powerful and mean that they rallied
together to send her home and crush her dreams because
(52:06):
they didn't like her character on the Mormon Wives, and
that the next.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
Day I went on and I've not watched Mormon Wife,
so I said, somebody explained to me what her character
is because they voted her the Mormon Wife off, not
the Dancing with the Stars contestant, because I liked the
Dancing with the Stars contestant and I didn't know her
from Mormon Wives.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Say I didn't. She's been on my podcast. I love
her as a person. I've seen clips of Mormon Wives
and I'm like, oh, not the best look. But it's
also she has to fit. People need to realize that
reality TV casts for certain personalities. They need a mean girl,
they need a bully, they need a funny one. They
need it's otherwise you're getting the same person. And Whitney
(52:45):
just happens to be a person who speaks her mind.
She's brutally honest, and people were so mad that she
said I came back for season three of Mormon Wise
to be on the dance the start of the stress,
and I thought that was so honest of her.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
Yes, honest. You should be rewarded for that.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
And it's like, oh, I'm sorry. Do you think people
go on reality TV because they have hopes and dreams
of like just like it's my dream to be on TV?
Like yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Like capping out at that. Yeah, yeah, I thought I
thought it was unfair. She was awesome, so awesome, and
I don't know her at all, and yeah, the fans
are weird and we'll rap, but I'll go first, most
vulnerable time on Dancing with the Stars. I'm gonna ask
you yours. I'll give you mine, Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Yeah, I give you yours.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
The social media ugliness had become such a point for
me in the past, in the final few weeks, because
this is the time when they would do the real
bottom three. I don't know if they did that in
your season or not, but now they've changed it. They
just like the random three people and one of them's
going home.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
No they did it the same, they changed it from mine.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Okay, so mine was the bottom three. I was never
in the bottom three. Yeah, So people were pissed all
the time that I wasn't in the bottom three. And
I the last three weeks of that show read day
before I would practice, before we would go to bed,
I would read The freaking Little Engine That Could, the.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Book Bless Your Little Cause.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Because I was just like, I gotta have something simple
to get me through this. And I would read that
and just be like, none of this stuff matters. And
the book was like, it's like this thick, but it's
like eight pages. Yeah, and it's literally about.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
I love that, And I still have the exact book.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I read The Little Engine That Could every day for
three weeks to get me through the like the emotional
part of it for me, because it was so ugly
for me.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
And at the same time, I was so just hell
bent on winning that show.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
I want you to go to Hoffman so bad.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
Have you ever heard of this, Seymour?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
No, it's an inner child.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
I saw a clip of you going. I mentioned Hoffman
seventy three times. I didn't even know what Hoffman was,
but I saw you talking about how much you say Hoffman,
it's it's.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
All about working on your inner child and like healing
that part of you.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
I've got to on site.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Okay, on site's great. I've been too. It's this is
a little more of a deep dive in Hoffman. It's
a little more intense and it changed. It really did
change my whole life. But talk about vulnerability, Wow, that
was I was like literally crying on the floor in
front of like thirty people about that.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Hawkman.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Yeah. But yeah, that's so sweet that you read that,
because that is it probably like felt like a childlike
thing to do, which makes everybody happy. Plus it was
something simple that gave you the message that you needed
every day, and you really were the little engine that.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I was, a freaking little engine. I know. It's it.
It makes me a bit emotional thinking back about it,
because because a kid's book meant that much to me
during that.
Speaker 1 (55:42):
Time, I want to cry. That's really sweet.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
Don't glam looks great?
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Oh god does it? Okay, my most vulnerable see I had.
My experience was so different because I was so hated
as the bachelorette that I got death threats. People would
go as far as like photoshopping me in a dumpster
saying that's where I belong. They read mean tweets on
my like mentell all episode that were just like like,
(56:08):
now I can laugh at it because Chris Harrison was
literally reading Caitlin, shut your horror legs and stop being
a little slut. You are a terrible example for my
daughter and blah blah, and I just got torn apart
just for being myself. And you know, they needed to
change up the bachelorette format. They always had the girl
next door of the America, Suvira. So it was such a
(56:29):
change for me because I got so much love on
Dancing with the Stars and the fandom was like whatever
they are called, they were so good to me, and
I was like, wow, this is a really nice change.
But my vulnerability came from every week. I felt like
I was not making artem proud. And I remember one
time he had just I think he was just fed
(56:51):
up with me, which happens with every couple, and I
just could not stop sobbing, and he was like, I
thought you were a dancer, and it like just and
I remember going home that night and I laid in
the shower crying as I did most nights and bandaged
up everywhere, and for some reason, this is actually crazy.
(57:13):
I smelled my grandma and I went, that is such
a distinct smell. And I set out loud I smell
my grandma and the lights went out in the bathroom
and I just screamed for my partner at the time,
and he came in and he goes, why are the
lights off? I went, I don't know. I said, try
and turn them on. He turned them on and they
wouldn't go on, but every other room worked and then
(57:34):
the lights just went back on after that. And I
my sign for like asking for anything of like guidance.
I always asked for blinking lights or like flashing lights.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Really, so you'd ask for that prior always.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Wow, I've been asking for it for years and I
and I remember just like it's a different kind of vulnerability.
But I remember just feeling like so aligned, and I
was like, I have to just believe in myself and
what I'm doing and just battle through this pain. And
what Artam says to me, he doesn't mean in the moment,
he's just frustrated. He just knows we have the ability
(58:07):
to possibly win. And it was just like a really
changing moment for me.
Speaker 2 (58:10):
And that that's wild.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
Yeah, it was crazy, and now I see it like
flashing lights happened to me, especially so when I came
up out of Hoffmann, I went to Hawaii by myself
and went to.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Why by myself wants to? He did all by myself?
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Is it the best?
Speaker 2 (58:25):
Well? People thought it was. I went to finish a
book and people I was like, hey, I'm going on
a hike and I said, we take a picture of me.
They were like, yeah, where's the other person? Just me?
Other than that? Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it's such.
Speaker 1 (58:36):
A spiritual place and it's like my happy It's my Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
That's why I just went to the doll banana plant.
You did like cool things?
Speaker 1 (58:42):
Oh yeah, Oh that's funny. And I remember being in
Hawaii and I was like, I feel so like high
on life right now. And I was still asking for
signs of blinking lights. I have a video of it.
I went into my bathroom to wash my face that
night and the light above me and my hotel room
was just blinking and I was like thank you, and
I just kept saying thank you. And then I went
(59:03):
out and I said, God, I just really want to
see like whales and just I'll show you the videos
after these whales were just like breaching out and like
I've never seen and people were screaming because they've never
seen anything so crazy. And then I went, you know what,
I'm going to google how to get a Hawaiian blessing
on a relationship with myself, because I know they do
it for married couples, and I was gonna ask for
(59:23):
a blessing for it all myself. And this guy came
and met me, cutest little man, and it started raining
and all these sea turtles just started coming up to
my feet and he was like, I've never seen this before,
and I was like, dude, I am so aligned right now.
I'm like I think I am a turtle. Like I
was just so into it. And then I came home
(59:44):
and got my phone back and everything went shit.
Speaker 2 (59:46):
But that's what happened when you get your phone back. Yes,
you get your phone. Yeah, we were talking about your
podcast before you came on, and but I just won't
say congratulations, like you built something really cool.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Thank you. It's my favorite thing that I do. I
just I love having just like conversation like this. It's
nice to do it also with somebody who is obviously
a pro, because I'm sure you've had experiences where you're like,
this is pulling teeth.
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Oh yeah, And I was looking forward to this. I
knew it would to be pulling teeth and it was
something I wanted to talk about. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Do you feel like we talked about everything.
Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
You wanted to talk about? I don't know. I won't
know till later, Oh, because I haven't really I don't
even have any notes, right, So it was just like
I just wanted to kind of talk about it with
somebody who understood it, who wasn't hearing me talk about it,
but could actually listen and talk back about the experience.
That's why it was valuable for you to be here.
So I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
No, I was honored that you asked me, and I
really do, I really do think you should get it
back and here. It's just because you did work so
hard for that, and it doesn't matter what people want
to take away from you, Like they can't take that
away from you. You literally took it away from.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
But also one and a little bit of it was
for like, if I'm really going to be like this sucks,
like I need to do something about it. I'm going
to mail it back. But I hear you're right.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Yeah, I know you're right, but you're like a little
doggie with your tail, with your Yeah, but I might
be I think I just where was it? Was it
up there?
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
No neighbors at home?
Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
I ad it at home? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
I want you to have it back. You deserve it,
all right.
Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Well, Caitlin, thank you forgoting.
Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
This has a thank you, thanks for listening to a
Bobby Cast production.
Dita called me and she because you might want to pull over,
and I just started hysterically bawling. She was like, if
you get another positive, you're out of the competition. And
I was like googling how to get fake like test done.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Episode five point fifty eight with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin has
a very popular podcast called Off the Vine with Kitlin Bristow,
which you can listen to every Tuesday and Thursday, and
we put the YouTube channel in the notes here. But
I'll say this, Caitlin Bristow, she was one of the
people on The Bachelor, then she was the Bachelorette. She
(00:40):
won season twenty nine of Dancing with the Stars with
Artam and we talked a lot about Dancing with the Stars.
I don't know when you're hearing this, but when we're
posting this, it is the day of the finale of
Dancing with the Stars, and we just kind of talked
through how difficult it was for both of us for
different reasons. The things that I'm shocked by I hate
(01:01):
spoiling stuff in the early part, but that her mom
was a professional ballerino, which I thought's crazy wild, that's wild,
That's like, yeah, your dad's a former quarterback for the Vikings.
Like to do that. To be at that level, you've
got to be one so disciplined. But the amount of
work and the athleticism that goes into that's crazy. So uh,
(01:22):
I hope you check it out. Hope you listen to
all of it. It's also up on our YouTube channel,
which is at Bobby Bones channel. She also has launched
a scrunchy line called do Edit. That's it, dude. When
you get a scrunchy line, you know you made it.
Is that that thing that it's like a circle and
it goes over a plenty tail. Yeah, and a wine
(01:43):
brand called Spade and Sparrows. Here she is Caitlin Bristo. Caitlin,
we haven't met, but I feel like we have mutual people,
one that I really love who loves you. Oh yes,
so I kind of feel I told you, I feel
comfortable in this setting talking about what we're about to
talk about.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yes. Wait, also we have met, so I'm not memorable.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Wait what so before you came in one of my
friends that have you met, Caitlin, and I said no twice,
that's not true. That can't be true.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It is true. I played in the like celebrity baseball tournament,
like eight years.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That doesn'tcount. There's too much that's that does account. Okay,
that is account.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And then two years ago you walked into Oku and
I was at the bar and we just quickly said hello,
like I know we've never.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Met, but that's not a real meeting.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay, fine, then we haven't met.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah, we've not had like a conversation because celebrity softball game.
There's there's it's too much stims, it's over I'm over stimulated,
too many people. I want to win the game. People
are fighting Florida, George Lane wants to beat each other up.
All that stuff's happening at that So okay, so we
have we've come into contact.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
That's that's. Yes, we've come into contact.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
I would have felt like a real ditch if you'd
have been like wed. Yeah. We at the CMAS. We
hung out backstage, heart to heart.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
We had coffee for an hour one day, we talked
about our feelings.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
You just flew back in.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
I did last night. That's why the bags under my
eyes are bagging. Which I'm just being such an insecure
little weirdo today because usually I'm just like, whatever, I'll
own it. I'm tired. But the fact is, when I
get my face beat up with glam, I feel like
it ages me. I had to melt down. I haven't
been home in so long. I am like a crazy
person when I don't sleep, and so I'm just you're
(03:29):
gonna help me get out of this funk.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Well, when you came in, you had mentioned you almost
melted down because of some glam and I was like, no,
you don't look over made up.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Well I have an event after, so I'm like, I
needed my glam done. And then I was like, well,
i'll be on camera anyways. And then I looked in
the mirror and I went, wow, just feels a bit much.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
I want to give you total autonomy. By the way,
you do a great job on your podcast, Thank you.
So I want to give you total autonomy during this show.
If there's anything that you're like, oh, you know, what
might be interesting to add because I want to talk
about dance when the stars. Of course, I love talking
about it. I have such a great relationship. Most of
my relationship with it is awesome. One of the greatest
experiences of my life.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay, I was going to ask you it's.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Been soured by the hardcore fans of the show and
mostly and we can just start here. I had an
you're talking about meltdowns. I had a minor meltdown about
a week and a half ago because Tom bergeron Who
I Love Still Love Loved then. I was so surprised
(04:29):
at his reaction to the question of who's one of
the most surprising eliminations? They didn't even ask him about me, now,
had they said to the question like, who won? That's surprising?
I'm all here, I'm the most surprising ever. Yes, I
know that I am. I have total awareness of my
entire situation. But it wasn't. And he was like, well,
(04:51):
I won't answer that question, but I will tell you
what is the most surprising win. And it wasn't even that.
He just did the facial. He was like, you know
when Bobby wan an ouch and I'm like, oh my god, yeah,
like it hurt my feelings so much, hurt your feelings.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
I have a job where I give opinions all the time.
Whenever I create controversy, which I do at times, sometimes manufactured, yes,
sometimes not. I'm good because I know I've signed up
for this.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah, you get it.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
When he did that, it hurt my feelings.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I'm so sorry that would hurt my feelings.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Too, because that was somebody that was like man. He
was so like helpful to me during the show because
he knew I was struggling. You say, ouch, oh, yeah,
have you not seen the clip.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
No.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
I did show me the clip because I heard everything
that I saw so much on online about it, and
I knew there's the whole thing about you sending the
mirror ball back. But I never actually saw the clip
even though I was there.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
I'm just gonna hand you my just start this TikTok
over slide and turn the volume over and so it's
me talking about it, but you'll see him. Okay, so
that's the Tom stuff. But it was just a facial expan.
And also I just had footso so I was a bit.
I was on pain pills.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Oh oh, don't do anything online on pain pill.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Yeah I did, but it popped off, so I'm kind
of happy I did it.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Sorry, table is way too long.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But I like, I still loved Tom, but that hurt
my feelings so bad.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
I hurt your feelings because you love him, and that
hurt my feelings for sure.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Over the last thing. It has been seven seasons. I
love talking to you about this because you won, you
did the show. It's like, I you were good. But
still there's like trauma bonding, like we did this, yeah,
we know the riggers, yes, of even having to get
feedback all the time online.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Well, and then I think what people also don't talk
about is after the fact, like I didn't realize duram
filming how much I needed all of this validation all
the time, and they're constantly validating but critiquing, and then
you want to impress them, and then you want to
show up the next week and be like, look, I
listened to you, and then it's just all done and.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
You're like, yeah, it is over quick, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And then it's so depressing and I felt like a
I felt like, I don't know, like a hangover from
it after, but yeah, during it's just it's it's so
I don't think they ever warn people what you're signing
up for, because you're like the nice check and then
you see the work that you do, you're.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Like, oh wow, I in that video. I will say
this again, it's not that I didn't want to go
on the show. I had no intention of going. I
didn't want to go on the show.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
How were you approached?
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I was on American Idol for.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Four years, so they that's how they found you.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah, they find the ABC's like, Hey, we're going to
promote American Idol, So go over to them. This is
the exact conversation, Hey, we need to promote Idol because
Idol had just come back to ABC. I did season one.
They just signed me to a multi year deal for
season two and three. We want you to go over
to Dancing with the Stars and you haven't danced ever.
You'll last four weeks, max, and you'll be back in
(07:47):
time for the show. And I remember saying to them,
I've never danced. That sounds fun, but I don't If
I go, I don't plan to last four weeks. Like
I don't do anything without fully going as hard as
I can. And they're like eh. And so there was
a time too during the show where they had to
like decide if they were going to pull me off
the show because Idol was already filming and they were
(08:09):
paying me a ton of money at Idle to do
not be on Idol.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Don't you share the same stage space with Idle? There
ye small room.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
But I was also working full time, yeah, my radio
show while in la oh, and then training. There's no time.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
So how'd you do it?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I don't know. I don't know. But the controversy that
happened to it's not even a controversy. I admitted that
I said cheated. I didn't cheat. But you know, they
give us rules on how long you can dance with
your partner. I was so behind that I would go
and runt a studio by myself and put the phone
up and watch practice and just try to do it
better so I could get to practice the next day.
(08:50):
And so you really were committed though, never been more
committed to anything except my wife. Wow, that I was
so committed because I would. I wasn't even the and
this is with total respect to grocery store Joe during
the season. I wasn't the bad one.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yeah, yeah, he was bad.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
He was the one that was it. He was the
one that everybody was like, we can't believe he's lasting,
can't It wasn't me. Yeah, And the fact that I'm
that guy now and I'm known for that is crazy.
But I remember every year since around October November, I
just get crushed at my algorithm because anybody who's bad
now it gets compared to me.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Does that hurt your feelings?
Speaker 2 (09:30):
It wears on me. Yeah, so it hurts my feelings, no,
but it wears on me.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I get that.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I never watched my dances back one single time until
about two months ago, and I watched them all back
and recorded me watching them.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
And how did it go?
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I wasn't as bad as everybody made me feel.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Really, Oh that's nice?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So did you did you get emotional watching? Not like cry,
but were you like feeling?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I was proud of myself in a different way because
I wasn't as bad as I was made to believe
I was. I'm not good, by the way, and I
don't think I'm sure, but I what you like? I
think a buzz Aldrin did the show or something.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Is a astronaut and he was like one hundred. He's
like one hundred and ten.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I felt like people told me I was him.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Oh, I'm gonna have to go back and watch your
dances because I watched your season. I can't even remember
who your partner.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Was, Sharna, Yes, he was your partner.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Artam.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Oh, yeah, was he on your season? Yes, I liked Ardam.
He didn't say a lot.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
He's okay. Outside of the ballroom he is like a
little teddy bear. He's such a sweetie. And in the
ballroom he is very intense. But I feel like that's
like the Russian culture. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
The two things I learned most about Russians and Mormons
on the show. I'm basically a Mormon, just not the
religious part. I'm the most Mormon person I've ever met,
except for the religious part.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Wait, don't me more.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I don't drink, I don't do any I don't take
no chemicals, nothing.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Really, Yeah, have you always been like that?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Oh yeah, I've never had a drink of alcohol ever
in your life. It's my Mormon culture. No, you're actually
I've never had a drink of alcohol.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
But you're not actually Mormon.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, okay, but I'm saying like I'm as close to
Mormon the religious part of.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So I learned about Mormons because I grew up in Arkansas.
We didn't have oh, there was not a Mormon population. Yeah,
and then Russians. We also didn't have a large Russian
contingent in the state of Arkansas makes sense.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor,
and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Oh do this game with me?
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Okay, superlatives okay.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Best all around of the pros. Daniella Okay, I didn't
have Daniella.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh. I could watch her dance. Sometimes, I'm like, am
I gay for her?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Like I'm like, so I tracked that way with Vao.
I thought that was val I gay for him? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Like, there's just something about their swag, the way they move,
how they can do it, the fact that they can
put aside that they could look like they're madly in
love with whoever their partner is, and they compartmentalize it
because that is their job. And they just know that
chemistry translates to the audience. And I yeah, Vell and Daniella.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I don't know. Danielle. Her choreography is awesome, amazing. I'm
gonna go for me because I didn't put any restrictions
or any rules. I'm gonna go. Emma was my favorite.
She's the best, like Nobel Human Peace Prize Award, agreed.
I agree, I would have mental. I had troubles during
(12:38):
my season, Like like we all did at some point, and
she would step in and be like, I wonder, let
me help you.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I wonder what that would have felt like for me,
because I ardam was going through some stuff at home
while we at our season, and so if I cried,
he'd be like, you're wasting my time. And I agree
with him, I was wasting time because we really wanted
to win. And I would always tell him, and he
knew if I said I had to go blow my nose,
(13:07):
that means I was going to the bathroom to cry
for five minutes and get it out of my system
and come back and be ready. But Emma, I just
got to work with her when I was dancing with
Andy two weeks ago, and I was like, she is
the most patient, fun kind.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
P plus every in every way.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh my god, She's just wonderful. And the way I
saw her work with Andy was I I just, yeah,
she's an A plus human being.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I reached out to Andy, and just for the mental
health part of it, yeah, because he started to get it. Yeah,
And I was just like, you probably don't need this,
you're the dude. But everybody thinks everybody's okay unless they ask.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
I bet you needed that. And I was just like, hey,
if you need to talk about any of this mental
health stuff, like, it's real on this show. And so
he hit me up again after it was over, and
he was like, dude, thank you so much for that.
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
I was surprised how much he opened up to me
on my podcast about mental health, because again, you're right,
you don't know until you ask, and he just seems
like this, you know, happy to be here, humble, the
kind of guy. But it really does once you get
in it. Like the first week you're like what am
I doing? And then the next week you're like, okay,
I'm kind of in, and then week three, four or
five you're just like, I need to be here. This
(14:18):
is my home now, I am not going anywhere, and
you it just, yeah, all of your competitiveness comes out,
which obviously you're competitive. I am so competitive.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
How would have died on the stage?
Speaker 1 (14:29):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I would have gone so hard? Yes? I would have
never left the building. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Like at one point the doctor told me I should
stop because I had tendonitis in both ankles and my
ribs and everything, and I was like, yeah, right.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
You know I love that because I tore I fell
on the first dance. I tore my shoulder. I came
to the we'll just say a professional team doctor. Yeah,
and he said, you're not gonna hurt it worse, but
you're gonna have to shoot it and numb and I shot.
Wasn't anything to do with ABC or Dancing with the Stars,
but I found a doctor. Yeah, and he shot me up.
Every week I did.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I did that in my ankle, except it wasn't. They
had it at the show and they were fine with it.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yours was probably legit. I was going I was using
something I probably shouldn't have used. You can't do every week? Yeah,
and he was like, this is it gonna hurt?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
So and it helped.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Oh my arm, it felt like the greatest arm that's
ever been created.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Still have injuries from that.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Now it's now it's just sore. If it rains, that kind.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Of thing that's his age.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
If it gets cloudy, like it hurts. When did you
know you were going on?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Oh my gosh, do you know the story about how
I got on? So I when I came off being
the Bachelorette. The creator of the whole show, he never
really liked me. I still don't think he really want me.
Of which show, The Bachelor and Bachelorette, he kind of
made it known that he didn't like me, like it
wasn't a secret. And so when I came off the show,
(15:45):
he Crystals was the Bachelor that I was on, and
he did Dancing with the Stars and then they called
me and they said, do you want to come on
the show? I freaked out because I danced my whole life,
which I know is also controversial with that show that
I danced background, but my mom was a professional ballerina.
It was like my dream too.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Mom was a pro ballerina. That is so cool.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, she was one of the original members of the
Alberta Ballet Company in Canada. And so I just I
quit dancing at twenty five because I wasn't good enough
and I chose to not get any education after high
school because I was like committed to wanting to dance,
and so I felt like I failed as a dancer,
and it was just always in the back of my mind.
And when I went on The Bachelor, I was like,
(16:27):
maybe I could go on Dancing with the Stars and
like make my dreams come true. And so they asked me,
and I remember just sobbing. I was so excited I
had the contract, I had it signed, and I was
so new to TV. I don't know anything about what
I signed for The Bachelor. I just was scribbling my
initials and everything went here you go. And so they
were like, no, you can't do it. And the creator
(16:47):
of the show said to me, I'm really sick of
people wanting fame after my show, and you can focus
on your relationship that you just had from the show instead,
and I was I don't know how they didn't sue me.
I went, I took it to Twitter and I was like, sexist,
blah blah blah, Chris Soul's got to do it. All
the men have gotten to do it, they haven't had
(17:08):
a girl. And then all of a sudden, Hannah Brown
became the Bachelorette and then she got to go on
Dancing with the Stars, and so everyone was tweeting me
or reaching out and being like she went on the
floor or yeah, and I was like, I was like,
I'm not mad, I'm happy. I spoke up to say like,
why doesn't he let women go on the show, and
why have all the men gotten to and so I
was happy for her. And then it was COVID and
(17:31):
uh they were doing like a Bachelor Goat show where
they were doing the best seasons and recapping them with
Chris Harrison. And so Chris Harrison was like, will you
jump on a zoom with me to recap your show?
I said yes, and at the end he goes, well,
I have a really important question for you, and I
was like what he went well, I could still cry.
He was like, do you want to go on Dancing
(17:51):
with the Stars? And I I was just in pure shock,
like I just my reaction was just and I couldn't
even speak.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I know it's coming, no idea.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
And it was so long after I'd been on the
show that I was like, I feel like, well, washed
up reality start at this point, like you really want
me to go on? And then to win. It felt
like such a full circle because I'd always wanted to
be looked at as a dancer and it was just
so exciting for me. I always tell my Canadian I'm Canadian,
and so I always say it's like it's like somebody
not making it to the NHL, being really close but
(18:22):
not making it, and then ten years later getting asked
to play in the Stanley Cup finals and winning and
knowing what that feels like. I was like, this is
my Stanley Cup.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
So it really mattered to you oh so much.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
It was again like that you know how it is.
The whole experience was just so incredible. And even though
I was like in the fetal position crying every night
and my bones were broken and I was just like
falling apart, I was like, I can't wait till the
next day and I can't wait to make it another week,
and I'm like I will win that. I would hold
a fake mirror ball when I slept and I would manifest.
I was crazy. So yes, it meant everything to me.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
My favorite memories are going with like em and Sasha
were married at the time, Yes, with like Emma Sasha,
even Allen going to air one, Yeah, because that's where
we would go right there, always just like that's what
we'd go, get some food before we went back, and
like it is such everybody just kind of becomes a unit.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It is such family vibes. Like even going back last week,
which I haven't been on the show in four five years,
everyone is just acts like you've never left. It just
feels like such a family over there. It was why
didn't you come to the twentieth ever? Oh?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
I tried to go. I did. It was the Thursday
before the Tuesday of the show, and I was having
surgery and I told my doctor, Hey, I'm supposed to
go to LA Yeah, and he's like, unless you want
to get a blood clot in your leg, oh, you're
not going to LA. I was very sad I couldn't.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Go because every everything would have been so different as
if they would. Do you think he would have Oh,
because he didn't say it in the ballroom, No he didn't,
So he said it on an interview after. Yeah, it
still would have went the same an.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Interview leading up to because he came back that episode. Yeah.
I also loved Tom Bergern even still did he Have you.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Talked to him, like personally since stop? I was gonna say,
shut up, that's mean, okay, shut up?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, No I haven't. I really why I don't feel
bad about any of this controversy is that I never
said anything negative about anybody. Yeah, there have been times
I've said things and I regret it and I'm like, oops, Yeah,
shouldn't have said that. I have nothing negative to say
about the show. I've said things at times about how
toxic the extremely hardcore fans are of that show, But
that can happen with sports teams too. Oh like I
(20:26):
fight with Freakin Texas Longhorn fans like crazy, Like, if
you're passionate, it's toxic.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It's true. The fans like they're so loyal to the show.
I mean even Bachelor Nation fans like, man, they think
you are a character on a show, and they pigeonhole
you into this one thing and they will die on
that hill that that's who you are. And they do
the same thing with Dancing with the Starts. You write
sports anything like for women, Bachelor is their super Bowl,
(20:52):
Like that's it's it is, and and fans are crazy
good and bad and you need both.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, and mostly you see the bad because the algorithm
puts out what gets engagement, and you know it gets
engagement people saying negative things.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, it's so true. The algorithm really does me dirty.
Sometimes I'm like, why are you showing me this?
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Do have you watched your dances back? Do you watch
them back?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Like every day?
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Yeah, I'm so proud of me winning. I don't want
I never want anybody to think I like hate anything
about it. Yeah, I get upset a section of it.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
That's so fair.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
And I was made to feel I was really bad
at dancing, which I was bad, and then I got
to be okay. But my triumph is Vegas put out
the odds before the show. I was last. Really yeah, there,
I have like the screenshot of like when Vegas put
it out and you could bet I was dead last.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
That's even better. I love an underdog story. But also,
do you are you a little sad you sent the
mirror ball back? Like, are you like, actually, I do
want to be back because you are proud of.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
It a little. I did the opera a few days
later and I was playing the operator. I was playing
a song. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I sent the
mirror ball back. I kind of regret it, but someone
has reached out to me from.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
The network and they said they would give it back.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It's whatever I want.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh what do you want?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Well, I feel like you should take it back, coming
from somebody who I react with emotion a lot, and
I've been in therapy for it for about ten years
to try and remove myself and take a deep breath
before I do anything. I still find it very hard
and I get myself in trouble a lot with that.
But that is something that it's like, look at all
(22:27):
these things you have behind you, like it's you deserved that,
and it doesn't matter what Tom said. It can hurt
your feelings.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
It's not just about Tom.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I know.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
The association sometimes was like I look at that and
I'm like, that's the only thing I've ever done where
I purposefully just tried hard. Yeah, worked hard, tried to
make people better around me. I would help other contestants
for on their camera time. I'm like, guys, I know
you're working on all the dance, but you know what's
going to pay off is you talking to the camera.
(22:58):
So I would like work with some of the some
of the other contestants there, like I did everything I
could to help and then for people to go, we
think you're less than That was my association with that trophy.
There are things where I get it where I'm like,
people don't like me because I say this or feel
this way signed up for that. This is the only
thing where I was like the underdog who came who won,
(23:19):
and then that's held against me. And so that association
kind of it soured it a bit.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
I mean, I will say even when Neive Schulman was
the runner up on my show, and sometimes I would like,
go and look at his comments, and it doesn't even
to this day, like post something, if it has anything
to do with Dancer with the Stars, every comment is
how he should have won over me.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
And I'm like, oh, I'm so glad that happens to
you two.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Oh yeah, because it's so it's such a prideful thing
that winning that mirror ball, and nobody will ever understand
how hard you work or what you do behind the
scenes because it's such a joyful show. And they show
snippets when you're literally grinding in there for eight hours
a day. You don't get a day off. You don't
even get a Sunday off camera blocking is Monday and
(24:03):
then or Sunday, and then it's the rehearsal in the show.
You are so mentally physically drained that like, nobody will
ever understand unless you do it, And to do it
that many weeks in a row, to make it to
the end and have people questioned or not like that
you won it, you just almost want to punch them
in the face, because you're like, you do it. That's
(24:23):
a show right there, to go out and find people
who are trolls and then make them do what you do,
like sit in that chair and hold a podcast and
or go do one dance class.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I was like, just punch them in the face. I
was going to sign up for that show. That's show.
Just find it for all and punch them in the face.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
That would be I mean, that's that is a dream
show for me to work on.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, after I won, I don't know what happened after
you won that night. Yeah, can you walk me through
the night.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
Yes. It was very different from most things because I
was in COVID season.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Oh that sucks.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
So I didn't even have an audience. I had a
laugh button machine and a clap button machine, and there
was no one there, and we weren't allowed to hang
out with each other, and we weren't allowed to go
in the room and help each other, and we had
to get tested every day, and if you got COVID,
you were out of the competition, and I was. I
got a false positive COVID test. Dita called me and
(25:17):
she goes, you might want to pull over and I
just started hysterically bawling. She was like, if you get
another positive, you're out of the competition. And this was
week eight when I'm like in it, and I was
like no, and I was like googling how to get
fake like test done.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
You can go to my doctor. That was shooting me
up at I.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Shouldn't have gotten to your guy, but I just I
went and it was actually a false false positive. I
did three tests at the clinic. It was all negative.
I got to go back. But the night, the night
that I won, I remember, it was like everybody had
to be six feet apart, so we were like talking
(25:55):
with like masks on. And then after Neiva actually had
people over and so we all went to party after.
But I just like sat with my mirror ball on
the rooftop of this hotel I was staying at and
drank wine and Neva was like, Oh, you're not gonna
come over. You're too good to come over, and I
was like final show up. I went there, nobody was there.
(26:17):
I was just drunk. Neve and I was like, did
everybody leave it? He was like yeah, And I was like,
why why don't you tell me everyone went home? And
he's like, because I think we should do a bit
online about like it's blah blah blah for me. And
so he was like all bitter and he was drunk
and he wanted to do this video for social media
that we did post and it ended up being funny.
(26:38):
But I still think he's mad at.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Me, probably at what you didn't allow him to have, right,
not you. Everybody likes you, which is weird, I'm gonna
be honest think so yeah, because most people, hey, I
don't get I think people that have done your franchise, Yeah,
there's not universal love for really anybody else from in town. Yeah,
(27:01):
like some of my closest friends, especially two okay, love
you as a huge because we haven't spent any time.
I guess we met. I was like, what up high five?
Other than that, yeah, but because I was like, I'm
going to talk about it with somebody.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I was so honored. Do you ask me?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
And they both were like, she's the greatest person, and
that's not often said about people. I think those shows
change people too, absolutely, not just your show, because I
did again, I did four years of American Idol, so
I have a different kind of experience with reality television.
But no, people like, as a person, spoke very highly
of you.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
That means a lot. Thank you for sharing that with me,
because I sometimes I'm like, yes, because I'm Canadian, I'm
just nice.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
You guys are really nice, but.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
I am also very spicy, but it's genuine, like I
will stand up for what I believe in and sometimes
people like I'm very like polarizing online. But I think
if people know me, they know my heart. So I'm
okay with that. But it is it. I always thought
it was so crazy when I came off Bachelor, I
was so hated, not by humans that knew me, so.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I didn't I didn't watch Yeah, so oh, I had
a what was your I'm gonna say character because they
do absolutely edit you into what they want you to be.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh, I was like the raunchy, sexualized.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Did you go on as a contestant first? Yes? Did
you win? No?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
So I went on as a contestant and the Bachelor
guy he was he was a farmer, and I was like,
I need him to know my humor right out of
the limo. So I went up to him and I
was like, I don't really know much about you, Like
I know your name's Chris, and I know you're a farmer,
so I'd a plow out to your field any day
as a joke, which, by the way, this was like
(28:46):
ten years ago. So I thought that was hilarious, and
he thought it was hilarious, but they edited it to
make it seem like he was like, oh god, really,
and then I was like, but he actually thought it
was hilarious, and I was like, okay, good. He laughed,
and so then I just became like the edgy can
with tattoos who swore a lot and talked about sex
and that is a small part of me.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Have tattoos, yes, And.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Then I was sent home. There's three of us left.
I was very sure he was going to pick me.
I was like, he's aissle thing.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
He's definitely Oh so you thought you'd win.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Oh yeah, he sent me home. I was devastated. And
then the show's therapist was like, are you really devastated
or were you just in the bubble? And I was
like oh. And then I came back and then they
asked me to be the bachelorette, and then they put
two bachelorettes on my season, and the men got to
decide who they wanted to be the bachelor.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
So you finally So this is why this this sucks
for you for two reasons. One, you finally are the one,
except there's another one and then you go to Dancing
with the Stars yeah, which is also awesome, but then
it's COVID.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Like you got limited awesomeness in both the things that
should have been one hundred percent awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
I know it was. It was tough, but I mean she,
the girl that I was pitted against, was actually a friend,
so we didn't We tried to not it so seriously.
But again, I'm very competitive, and it was more about
like winning to me than like because I'm like, if
they pick her, these just aren't guys for me. But
also like pick me because I need.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
To win and that you're going to be the person
and then you're not. That's kind of a mind screw.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
I know. I made sure I negotiated the hell out
of my contract for that one, because I was like,
if I go home night one, I still better get
paid something.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
So you didn't get with the dude in one, Please
excuse my ignorance, no, I because I don't expect you
know anything about me. No, actually I didn't did you
get with anybody from when you were the Bachelorette? Did
you marry anybody from me?
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I got engaged and I was with him Sean Booth.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Do you know how that is?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Uh? Wait?
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Ye has Jim? Yes, got it.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
I was with him for three and a half years,
and in the contract for a Bachelorette, if you stay
together longer than two years, you get to keep the ring.
So I still have the ring from that. But we
broke up and then I started dating another bachelor guy,
which was in my head, I'm going it just felt
you know when you like bond with people, I guess
it could be a trauma bond.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
And you just know what you know, this experience.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Yeah, so I was like, oh, I'll go for another
bachelor guy. Great, and speak about like you were saying,
you know, some people change from getting I always compare
it to like a drug, and people get a little
taste of what it feels like to be famous from
the Bachelor of the Bachelorette, and it really does change them.
And I've seen it happen so many times and it
(31:34):
was really important to me going in. Even when I
was like walking out of that limo, I was like
I'm I don't care if people hate me. I'm going
to be myself. I'm not gonna let this change me.
And I remember at the very end, all of a sudden,
like all these interviews were happening and people were recognizing me,
and I was getting all these opportunities, and I remember
being so overwhelmed, and I got very depressed because I
(31:56):
just didn't know how to like function after it being
so much manipulated and drinking so much and not sleeping
and then picking this guy who was mad at me
for sleeping with somebody else in the fantasy suites, and
I was just like in a really bad place. And
I just remember in that moment going just go back
to being you. Just be you, and everything will align
(32:17):
with what you want in life if you're just yourself
and you stay humble. And I was always so important
to me to not let it change me. And my
dad always says to me, He's like, I'm so proud
of you, and he goes, it's not for all of
your accomplishments, he goes, it's still because you're the same person,
just a more evolved version of yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Why are you here in Nashville?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Because Sean lived here, and so when we got engaged,
he came to Vancouver, where I was living, and we
stayed there for a few months, and then we moved
to Nashville.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
The Bobby Cast will be right back. This is the
Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
Is this home now?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yes? I've been here for ten year, which is crazy.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Oh oh you have been here a long time. Yes,
I've been here thirteen. So around this way?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
So where you said again? I forget where you said
you grew up.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
I grew up in Arkansas. It's all right, yeah, okay,
have you ever been there?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
No?
Speaker 1 (33:10):
But I really want to go to oh, what's it
called where the people who own Walmart?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Like Bentonville?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Bentonville.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
You want to go to that town?
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I do because my best friend moved there and she
said it's they like redid the whole city, Like it's.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Northwest Arkansas is awesome. Yeah yeah, it's where also the
University of Arkansas is. It's the best. Oh yeah yeah
yeah yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Have you ever been in Canada?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah? Toronto. Thought somebody was robbing me. They were just
giving me directions.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
I was on my phone. I was like, I can't
find this restaurant and someone comes up behind me, and
I was like, oh God, and they were like, we
can help you. And I was like this the kindest
I know people ever.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
They really are. Like I whenever I go back home,
especially the province of Alberta where I grew up, and
I feel like people, it's just so boring there and
there's really nothing to do, and we call ourselves just
prayer people, where we would just have fun going out
into the middle of a bush and just having some
beers and like laughing at that's.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
A small town rural Arkansas too.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just that's crazy that you've never
had a drink as or a reason or is that personal?
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Both? Okay, but I talk about it. I mean's it's personal.
But I've talked about it a lot. Oh okay, I
like that. You don't know anything about me, so I don't.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah, you don't have to get bad.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
But my mom had me. She take it pregnant fifteen, okay.
She was an attic. Died in her forties. My dad
left when I was like five. He's an attic. He's
still around, not me. I don't know him. Yeah, so
had addicted parents.
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Yeah that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
One that was never there, one that was there, but
she even my mom left and I was adopted, So
it was just a lot of that, and so early
on I was like, hey, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
Well, wow, that could have went one of two ways.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
That's exactly right, and it would have gone the other
way for sure, because I get addicted to everything that
I do, and I think some of its insecurity because
I want to prove that I'm worthy.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Of course, that makes so much sense, it does. I mean,
I was thinking that I never want to say it
up loud, but that I'm sure you've known that about yourself.
That makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
And I talk about an a therapy a lot. Well, yeah,
my whole career is based off of fear. Fear, see, yeah,
And I have had a great career and I've grew
up very poor and now I'm not. Yeah, and so
all the things are right, but still there's still so
much insecurity that really I have awareness of. It's not gone.
(35:25):
I just have awareness of it. And that's the value
of me going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I relate to this very much, not to the parents,
being like my dad actually was an attic. He's thirty
five years sober, and my mom and they were just
the most loving parents, like that I could ever ask
for it. But I felt like my worth really came
from performance and dance and how I looked and how
I came across and just not like who I was inside.
(35:50):
And so I grew up very much thinking like I
had to look a certain way. I had to be
the best at dance, I had to be the best.
I had to be the most popular girl at school,
and I would get praised for those kinds of things,
even though my parents still like, really like I was
a very unique kid.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
I was.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
I was very shy at first and then very outgoing,
and I had the most offside sense of humor. I
swear all the time, I would drink all the time.
They just let me be who I was. But my
worth was always on performing and winning and being the best.
So I get that.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I don't so much enjoy winning as I hate losing,
because if I lose, I feel like everybody thinks I'm
less than them.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah I'm the exact, even to a point where I've
worked on this in therapy, Like I get competitive in
relationships because I don't like to feel less than my partner,
which is so silly.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I have a wife that is smarter than me, and
it's been really hard for me to deal with that
because I've always been the smartest person. And that was
definitely it's a weird thing to say. Both are weird
that I was in this, but yeah, that's it's it's weird.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Being My therapist always says, because I'm like, well, at
least I'm self aware, Like I know when I'm being ridiculous,
i know when i'm being competitive, i know when I'm
being reactive. I'm so self aware, and she goes, I
would say that's self reflective. I don't know if you're
self aware. And I was like, oh, to quote Tom
berdron out out.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
To quote Tom Burger on oh gosh, I found like
because I did a lot of stand up yeah, or
would play music or would you know in the radio show,
Not so much the radio show with like receiving praise
in real time, but I would go out and I
think I only started performing to find love, like some
(37:45):
kind of love, not romantic love, but just any sort
of love at all. Yeah, Like, and it was like
it's like I feel loved, I'm funny, I'm awesome. But
then when it would really suck as you go back
to your hotel room after a show. I've just done
a theater and you're like kind of alone again.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Well, it's the high highs and the lows, and you
feel those very much. I'm the same way. I really feel.
I being like content is weird for me. I either
want to be like yeah. Either I'm either like really
low and like I'm not doing enough and I'm a failure.
Or I'm really high and I go, okay, I love
being here, or I need to stay here.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
How do you do with vulnerability?
Speaker 1 (38:21):
I okay again, Everyone that follows me online would say
I'm the most vulnerable person. People stop me and say
thank you for being so vulnerable, and then my therapist
tells me that I'm terrible at it. She goes, you
hate being vulnerable, and I think I'm just good at
being self reflective. I think I'm good at I could
talk about my insecurities all day long, but I don't
(38:42):
like sitting in discomfort, which is also vulnerability. So if
there's like bad things happening, or someone's in an argument
with me, or like someone wants to say I was
dating someone and we got in a fight, I want
to just be like, Nope, it's not happening, and I'll
go sleep and I'll ignore it and pretend it's not happening.
I have a really hard time sitting in discomfort, so
(39:02):
like yes and no to be vulnerable.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Similar I'm excellent at performative vulnerability, which is true, It's
all true. But if I'm doing it, and I think
I'm doing it for a larger reason, man, my first
book ate me up because I put it all out
and that was not that hard for me. But when
one person would want to talk to me about it
(39:26):
one on one, or like even especially with like my
wife or like a close friend, I'm really bad there
the same, Yeah, really bad there. Yeah, I'm not very
good at being vulnerable one on one.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I wonder what that is because I'm the exact same,
and I don't like performative always sounds so bad to
me because I'm not going to name his name people
will know anyways. But one of my exes like just
felt very performative to me, and I can't stand when
people just can't be who they are and to me.
I sometimes I would podcast about vulnerability and I'd like
(40:00):
do research more on it to talk like I would
to have more knowledgeable And then I'm like, am I
doing this to get something and to feel connection with
other people? Or am I doing it because I really
want to talk about it? And I've had to check
myself so many times to make sure I'm not being performative.
But you're right, that's a real thing, and it's true.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Both can be true. Yeah, yeah, two things can be
true at once.
Speaker 1 (40:19):
That's I used to call myself a walking contradiction. But
then my therapist how many times drink every time I
say I agrapas would say, no, You're just like a
walking image of two things can be true at once.
You hold those two, you do that, And I'm like,
that's a good point. I really do. And I think
people always think, Like when people are like are you happy,
(40:39):
I'm like, what hour is it? I don't know? Being
happy is You're supposed to, as a human being, feel
a range of emotions daily. So am I happy right
now in this moment? Sure? But like that's small talk
for you.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I guess I don't have a range. What do you
mean my battle has been my emotion? Is this all
the time?
Speaker 1 (41:00):
Really?
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I know I ever get sad, but I never get
that happy. And now my wife has changed me at
like my core at that because she comes from a
very healthy family. She knows how to love, she knows
how to say it, she knows how to show it,
she knows how to receive it. I'm the worst at
receiving it, wow, because it never felt like I deserved it,
Like if they really got to know the real me,
they wouldn't love me as always been kind of.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
But that makes so much sense with what you've been
through in your life.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
So it's just here because I feel like if I
know you have no expectations, I can't get hurt. But
the problem is if you don't have the ability to
go down, you don't have the ability to go up
right you can It's a pendulum, yeah, like you can
only go as high as you do low and so
go too far well, And I think both are different
kinds of I don't want to say problems, but different
(41:46):
kinds of bills we pay to work through with our therapists.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yes, my gosh, she makes a great living off of me.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Let's do more superlatives for some of the stars. Because
I didn't I didn't come up with these, but I
think this is fun and you can throw one back
at me too, But who is like the coolest pro Pasha?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Why Danielle's husband there? There is something just so did
you ever meet him?
Speaker 2 (42:12):
They came in after Its okay?
Speaker 1 (42:13):
So Pasha is just so sure of himself and his
relationship with Daniella. They have so much love and respect
for one another. He is so patient and kind, He's
very undercover, funny, and the way he dances is just
so smooth and cool, and I just if you're a dancer,
(42:34):
I feel like a lot of dancers feel like the
need to be on at all times, and Pasha just
doesn't feel that way to me. He's like, even when
he's on, he still it feels like he's just himself.
And that's what I think is cool about him.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
I'm going to give mind a vow for a couple
of reasons. One, he freaking plays a violin at a
high level.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I know that's the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
And it's two things that traditionally men wouldn't go A
dance and violin player. That's masculine. That dude is a
masculine dancing violin player. And he's also so not was
so nice to.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Me, really, yeah, was because I heard he's tough in
the ballroom all they.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
All yeah, yeah, yeah, And my partner was really hard
on me. She should have been. She wouldn't have got
out of me what she got out of me. But
we also had the conversation early like I was like, hey,
I have to be coached yea, and you cannot coach
me too hard because we have the same goal and
it is to win.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
She thought it was crazy because she thought there was
no chance we were going to win. She had made
the finals multiple times and with a backstreet boy with
a pro player, never won, so I was her first
win of all people. But yeah, you can't coach me
too hard. But we did have that conversation early where
you got to if I need it, and we fought,
Oh I bet.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah, I feel like they all do.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Yeah. You're just close to that person so much that
you fight with your friends occasionally. Yeah, and that relationship
and you had it with your party. You're just together
so much.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Well, And I don't like being told what to do
me either.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
And something you said earlier was you go in you
have to learn. We're toddlers again.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yes, yes, And I don't like being bad at something.
And as I came in as people thinking I'm a dancer.
So then I felt like I was just disappointing everybody
with not being able to pick things up.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
Yeah, I go and I'm running like shows and I
got multiple podcasts, I got TV shows on, and all
of a sudden, in that room, I am the lowest
of low, not as a human but at my skill level. Yeah,
and I'm not used to that because I'm used to
running everything because I've built everything myself. Yes, it is
a hard check.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Oh, you have hyper independence, like hyper yes, and I don't.
I don't really know where. I think my hyper independence
comes from the fact that I thought, and I was
taught to believe, that I would just find a man
to rely on and that that's what would make me happy.
And so when I quit dancing, I found a very
successful hockey player, as a Canadian does, and I went,
(45:02):
oh my god, how great. I'm not gonna work, I'm
going to travel. I get to follow him around and
he makes great money, and I learned so quickly that
that is not the life for me. And that was
when something shifted in me, because he broke my heart
to like to a point where I actually had to
go see like psychiatric help because I was like, I'm
(45:23):
not okay. I need help. And I've said this before
on a podcast. I actually got addicted to valume. I
was on antidepressants, which I still am on antidepressants, but
I like just was like, I can take a pill
and numb myself and not feel anything. This is awesome.
I moved in with my parents back at the age
of like twenty seven, and I was like then, I
was like, I'm a loser. So I got my act together.
(45:44):
I started building myself back up. I started going to therapy,
and then I felt like that's when I really needed
to prove, like I could do everything by myself. I
will never rely on a man because I was just
relying on him emotionally.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Oh so hard. Wasn't too hard? So too hard?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Where now it's a coping mechanism and I still work
on that, Like I just want to do I want
to prove that I can do everything by myself because well,
mostly with men. But it's all because of a heartbreak?
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Is it because of the heartbreak? It's it's not.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Dad, Oh God, my Dad's my hero. He's the best
man I've ever met in my life and like the
bar is so high he is, and I think it's
because he's sober. He's so consistent. He does AA. He
will not miss an AA meeting every Monday, and it's
the steps they go through every Monday. It's just so
cool because he lives a life that he's just so
(46:35):
proud of and he's just the kindest man I've ever met.
So no daddy issues for me.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
Are they still together your mom and dad?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
No, they're friends though they like still talk and text
and SA happy Birthday, And it wasn't it was. It
was a little messy there for a minute. But they
divorced when I was eighteen years old, which was kind
of like, it's.
Speaker 2 (46:53):
An odd time to divorce, very odd. You're not even
there with Did you live with them at eighteen?
Speaker 1 (46:58):
I did. I moved out at nineteen. Yeah, And it
was it was just one of those things where my
sister and I were both like, Okay, you guys, it's time,
like you don't have.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
To hold on. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, But they're both remarried and have been for a
very long time to the most wonderful people that make
sense for them. I can't even imagine my parents together.
My mom is such a firecracker and she is so
wild and crazy, and my dad is just like so
even keeled. And now he's with somebody else who's very calm,
and then my mom's with somebody who just loves her
(47:32):
chaotic like energy. And oh, I'm a mixture of both.
I would say I'm definitely more my mom. And if
people meet my mom, they go, wow, the apple does
not fall far. And then if my best friend, like
my best friend has spent time with my dad and
she's like, oh, that's where your kind heart comes from,
I'm like, cause he's just the best.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Let's take a quick pause for a message from our
sponsor and we're back on the Bobby Cast.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
When have they been the most proud of you?
Speaker 1 (48:10):
See, that's a tricky one because I think my dad
has been the most proud of me, like as of recently,
because of staying humble and not letting everything get to
my head. I feel like he I thought he was
going to tell me he was dying because he was like, Caitlin,
can I he comes to visit me all the time.
He's like, can I just take you in another room
and talk to you for a second about something? And
I'm like you're dying because my brain goes Doomsday all
(48:33):
the time. And he went through all of my accomplishments
and he was like, this is kind of the same
thing as what I was saying earlier. He was like,
but I am the most proud of you for just
who you are as a person today, and so I
feel like he's the most proud of me for that.
My mom, I would say, she does deep down feel
the same way, but she is such a like she's
(48:53):
like me the mirror ball. It felt like she won the.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
Mirror ball, like she was a ballerine, I know.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
And she's just like I think she's really I think
she's really the most proud of my accomplishments.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Which it's cool that you're kind of covered on both sides,
and you know what, they both are probably also proud
of the other thing.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Too, Yeah, for sure, Like I.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Don't think that it's your dad's just who you are.
I think he's also proud the work that you've put in, yes,
and your mom the opposite. But it's cool that you
kind of covered on both sides.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Well, my mom definitely, I think has a little bit
of like she should have done this, Like she definitely
gave up her dream of dancing to marry my dad,
and then she became a mom, and then she felt
like she really lost herself. So I feel like she
kind of likes to live vicariously through me, which is
sometimes like ah, and other times I'm like I get it.
I'd be the same way.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
If they asked you to come back and do Dancing
with the Stars again, would you do.
Speaker 1 (49:47):
It without a doubt?
Speaker 2 (49:49):
Yeah? Really?
Speaker 1 (49:49):
What about you? I was actually talking to Kevin about
this earlier. I worked out with him this morning and
we were talking about an All Star season and I
was like, I'm going to ask him if he would
do that, because I'm very, very curious.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
You'd have to No, I'm going to say something from
what I know. They're obviously not doing another All Star
season that I know.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I don't know anything I try and get them to
all the time.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
I have been asked because it has become a thing
that I have been bad and if I would come
back and just be a part of it again, what
do you mean that I can tell you? But interesting,
I think I'm kind of like an anomaly that they
(50:38):
would want to see if that anomaly would repeat itself.
And you say, no, I've not said anything.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Okay, okay, because it's not been.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
A hey, we want to offer. I don't think. I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yeah, I'm picking up what you're putting in.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
I really have nothing to gain by it, right, And
I think one of the weird things of me winning
is people like, well, you use your audience.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
It's a voting show.
Speaker 2 (51:05):
Yeah, and everybody uses whatever audience that got them there,
if it's social media. Because I work.
Speaker 1 (51:09):
Currently the TikTok star, she's got like a hundred million followers,
of course she's gonna win.
Speaker 2 (51:14):
People are like, well, you you talk to your audience
every morning and they voted on your radio show or
your podcast. And I'm like, yes, that's that's that's accurate.
Speaker 1 (51:22):
Yeah, when you did that TikTok the other day or
maybe it was Instagram whatever, it was about, like this
is my impression of Dancing with the Stars fans because
they don't make sense.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
Yeah, it's like they hold it against you for having
dance experience. Yeah, this is just about dance, and then
they do the opposite when it fits the narrative that
they want. Because I felt like Whitney was really good,
she was una really good the ball.
Speaker 1 (51:46):
I was sitting in the audience when she got sent home,
and I like grabbed the two people behind beside me.
I grabbed their arms and I like gasped audibly. I
was like, because I'm like, that just goes to show
the internet is so powerful and mean that they rallied
together to send her home and crush her dreams because
(52:06):
they didn't like her character on the Mormon Wives, and
that the next.
Speaker 2 (52:10):
Day I went on and I've not watched Mormon Wife,
so I said, somebody explained to me what her character
is because they voted her the Mormon Wife off, not
the Dancing with the Stars contestant, because I liked the
Dancing with the Stars contestant and I didn't know her
from Mormon Wives.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Say I didn't. She's been on my podcast. I love
her as a person. I've seen clips of Mormon Wives
and I'm like, oh, not the best look. But it's
also she has to fit. People need to realize that
reality TV casts for certain personalities. They need a mean girl,
they need a bully, they need a funny one. They
need it's otherwise you're getting the same person. And Whitney
(52:45):
just happens to be a person who speaks her mind.
She's brutally honest, and people were so mad that she
said I came back for season three of Mormon Wise
to be on the dance the start of the stress,
and I thought that was so honest of her.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
Yes, honest. You should be rewarded for that.
Speaker 1 (52:59):
And it's like, oh, I'm sorry. Do you think people
go on reality TV because they have hopes and dreams
of like just like it's my dream to be on TV?
Like yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (53:08):
Like capping out at that. Yeah, yeah, I thought I
thought it was unfair. She was awesome, so awesome, and
I don't know her at all, and yeah, the fans
are weird and we'll rap, but I'll go first, most
vulnerable time on Dancing with the Stars. I'm gonna ask
you yours. I'll give you mine, Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Yeah, I give you yours.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
The social media ugliness had become such a point for
me in the past, in the final few weeks, because
this is the time when they would do the real
bottom three. I don't know if they did that in
your season or not, but now they've changed it. They
just like the random three people and one of them's
going home.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
No they did it the same, they changed it from mine.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
Okay, so mine was the bottom three. I was never
in the bottom three. Yeah, So people were pissed all
the time that I wasn't in the bottom three. And
I the last three weeks of that show read day
before I would practice, before we would go to bed,
I would read The freaking Little Engine That Could, the.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Book Bless Your Little Cause.
Speaker 2 (54:07):
Because I was just like, I gotta have something simple
to get me through this. And I would read that
and just be like, none of this stuff matters. And
the book was like, it's like this thick, but it's
like eight pages. Yeah, and it's literally about.
Speaker 1 (54:20):
I love that, And I still have the exact book.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I read The Little Engine That Could every day for
three weeks to get me through the like the emotional
part of it for me, because it was so ugly
for me.
Speaker 1 (54:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
And at the same time, I was so just hell
bent on winning that show.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
I want you to go to Hoffman so bad.
Speaker 2 (54:39):
Have you ever heard of this, Seymour?
Speaker 1 (54:41):
No, it's an inner child.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
I saw a clip of you going. I mentioned Hoffman
seventy three times. I didn't even know what Hoffman was,
but I saw you talking about how much you say Hoffman,
it's it's.
Speaker 1 (54:51):
All about working on your inner child and like healing
that part of you.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
I've got to on site.
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Okay, on site's great. I've been too. It's this is
a little more of a deep dive in Hoffman. It's
a little more intense and it changed. It really did
change my whole life. But talk about vulnerability, Wow, that
was I was like literally crying on the floor in
front of like thirty people about that.
Speaker 2 (55:15):
Hawkman.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Yeah. But yeah, that's so sweet that you read that,
because that is it probably like felt like a childlike
thing to do, which makes everybody happy. Plus it was
something simple that gave you the message that you needed
every day, and you really were the little engine that.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
I was, a freaking little engine. I know. It's it.
It makes me a bit emotional thinking back about it,
because because a kid's book meant that much to me
during that.
Speaker 1 (55:42):
Time, I want to cry. That's really sweet.
Speaker 2 (55:44):
Don't glam looks great?
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Oh god does it? Okay, my most vulnerable see I had.
My experience was so different because I was so hated
as the bachelorette that I got death threats. People would
go as far as like photoshopping me in a dumpster
saying that's where I belong. They read mean tweets on
my like mentell all episode that were just like like,
(56:08):
now I can laugh at it because Chris Harrison was
literally reading Caitlin, shut your horror legs and stop being
a little slut. You are a terrible example for my
daughter and blah blah, and I just got torn apart
just for being myself. And you know, they needed to
change up the bachelorette format. They always had the girl
next door of the America, Suvira. So it was such a
(56:29):
change for me because I got so much love on
Dancing with the Stars and the fandom was like whatever
they are called, they were so good to me, and
I was like, wow, this is a really nice change.
But my vulnerability came from every week. I felt like
I was not making artem proud. And I remember one
time he had just I think he was just fed
(56:51):
up with me, which happens with every couple, and I
just could not stop sobbing, and he was like, I
thought you were a dancer, and it like just and
I remember going home that night and I laid in
the shower crying as I did most nights and bandaged
up everywhere, and for some reason, this is actually crazy.
(57:13):
I smelled my grandma and I went, that is such
a distinct smell. And I set out loud I smell
my grandma and the lights went out in the bathroom
and I just screamed for my partner at the time,
and he came in and he goes, why are the
lights off? I went, I don't know. I said, try
and turn them on. He turned them on and they
wouldn't go on, but every other room worked and then
(57:34):
the lights just went back on after that. And I
my sign for like asking for anything of like guidance.
I always asked for blinking lights or like flashing lights.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Really, so you'd ask for that prior always.
Speaker 1 (57:45):
Wow, I've been asking for it for years and I
and I remember just like it's a different kind of vulnerability.
But I remember just feeling like so aligned, and I
was like, I have to just believe in myself and
what I'm doing and just battle through this pain. And
what Artam says to me, he doesn't mean in the moment,
he's just frustrated. He just knows we have the ability
(58:07):
to possibly win. And it was just like a really
changing moment for me.
Speaker 2 (58:10):
And that that's wild.
Speaker 1 (58:12):
Yeah, it was crazy, and now I see it like
flashing lights happened to me, especially so when I came
up out of Hoffmann, I went to Hawaii by myself
and went to.
Speaker 2 (58:21):
Why by myself wants to? He did all by myself?
Speaker 1 (58:24):
Is it the best?
Speaker 2 (58:25):
Well? People thought it was. I went to finish a
book and people I was like, hey, I'm going on
a hike and I said, we take a picture of me.
They were like, yeah, where's the other person? Just me?
Other than that? Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it's such.
Speaker 1 (58:36):
A spiritual place and it's like my happy It's my Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (58:39):
That's why I just went to the doll banana plant.
You did like cool things?
Speaker 1 (58:42):
Oh yeah, Oh that's funny. And I remember being in
Hawaii and I was like, I feel so like high
on life right now. And I was still asking for
signs of blinking lights. I have a video of it.
I went into my bathroom to wash my face that
night and the light above me and my hotel room
was just blinking and I was like thank you, and
I just kept saying thank you. And then I went
(59:03):
out and I said, God, I just really want to
see like whales and just I'll show you the videos
after these whales were just like breaching out and like
I've never seen and people were screaming because they've never
seen anything so crazy. And then I went, you know what,
I'm going to google how to get a Hawaiian blessing
on a relationship with myself, because I know they do
it for married couples, and I was gonna ask for
(59:23):
a blessing for it all myself. And this guy came
and met me, cutest little man, and it started raining
and all these sea turtles just started coming up to
my feet and he was like, I've never seen this before,
and I was like, dude, I am so aligned right now.
I'm like I think I am a turtle. Like I
was just so into it. And then I came home
(59:44):
and got my phone back and everything went shit.
Speaker 2 (59:46):
But that's what happened when you get your phone back. Yes,
you get your phone. Yeah, we were talking about your
podcast before you came on, and but I just won't
say congratulations, like you built something really cool.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Thank you. It's my favorite thing that I do. I
just I love having just like conversation like this. It's
nice to do it also with somebody who is obviously
a pro, because I'm sure you've had experiences where you're like,
this is pulling teeth.
Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Oh yeah, And I was looking forward to this. I
knew it would to be pulling teeth and it was
something I wanted to talk about. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Do you feel like we talked about everything.
Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
You wanted to talk about? I don't know. I won't
know till later, Oh, because I haven't really I don't
even have any notes, right, So it was just like
I just wanted to kind of talk about it with
somebody who understood it, who wasn't hearing me talk about it,
but could actually listen and talk back about the experience.
That's why it was valuable for you to be here.
So I really appreciate that.
Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
No, I was honored that you asked me, and I
really do, I really do think you should get it
back and here. It's just because you did work so
hard for that, and it doesn't matter what people want
to take away from you, Like they can't take that
away from you. You literally took it away from.
Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
But also one and a little bit of it was
for like, if I'm really going to be like this sucks,
like I need to do something about it. I'm going
to mail it back. But I hear you're right.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Yeah, I know you're right, but you're like a little
doggie with your tail, with your Yeah, but I might
be I think I just where was it? Was it
up there?
Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
No neighbors at home?
Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
I ad it at home? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:01:12):
I want you to have it back. You deserve it,
all right.
Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Well, Caitlin, thank you forgoting.
Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
This has a thank you, thanks for listening to a
Bobby Cast production.
Host
Bobby Bones
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