November 15, 2022 • 21 mins
Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!! Today’s quote is: "I used to sneak out of my house to go to parties, now I do the opposite!" (from the @elarroyo_atx sign) Hopefully not too many people snuck out of our Wichita LIVE party...Lol. At the beginning of the evening (before everyone attending took their seats) some people wrote down their expectations for the night. You'll hear Kat share some of them with Amy (because she never got to look at them) and it's cool to hear what people hoped to get out of the evening...and even cooler that most expectations seem to have been met!
Amy then shares a few emails from people that were at the LIVE podcast and one of them is a very touching email from a listener named Tosha...it's such an impactful note about what went down for her that night and her plans moving forward. Tosha's words are going to touch someone listening to this episode...we just know it!! We are so thankful to listeners that are willing to share their stories with all of us! Thank you, Tosha!
Since cursing is a topic that came up during the LIVE podcast, Amy tells Kat about a study she came across the other day: "Swearing Is Extremely Helpful in Modern Life!" Kat says she keeps a book about cursing at her office!! There's obviously times when it's offensive and inappropriate - but the point of this chat is simply that it can be helpful at times if you just need to release anger or frustration, etc...
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Send emails for the '5th Thing' to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com!
P.S. '4 THINGS' CUSTOM CHRISTMAS PULLOVERS ARE NOW AVAILABLE:
This is a limited time thing and super cute for the holidays!! You can put whatever 4 things you love about Christmas on the red pullover (just has to be 13 characters or less) and these make great shirts for holiday events + matching family pajamas + gifts for friends! Go to 4Things.com to customize Christmas pullovers and to see other 4 Things items that help spread hope in Haiti!
You can also check out TheShopForward.com or ShopEspwa.com for so many cute gift ideas that give back!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday, Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat And today's quote is well from one of
my favorites things that we quote, the Le Royo sign
in Austin, Texas. I saw this one and took a
screenshot of it because I loved it so much, and
it said I used to sneak out of my house
to go to parties. Now I did the opposite, like
you sneak out of the parties to go to your house.
(00:25):
That's right, yes, And we definitely partied in Which at
all And then got back from there doing a live
show and went right into c m A Awards week
and I'm still recovering. I couldn't sneak out of the
Witch Tall Live because I wanted to be there and
that was amazing. But I snuck out of the c
m AS pretty early and went to bed. You couldn't
have snuck out of Which Top because you were the
(00:47):
main focus of the show. You would have been kind
of weird. Yeah, yeah, I guess you could have snuck
out if I wanted to do. But thank you for
staying the whole time, And shout out to Big P
for coming and being so supportive. We had put up
this question box in the v I P area before
the show, asking people to write down their expectations for
the night. And I know that Fasio pulled them and
(01:09):
emailed them to you, Cat, I haven't read. No, I
don't know she sent them directly to you, so you
could read them to me on the fifth thing, and
I have no idea. So I guess you could share
what people were expecting from the night, and then we
can gauge whether or not expectation was met. I'll read
a couple of them, because there's a lot, and some
of them are pretty similar, and some of them are
just like sweet. So one said, I'm stepping out of
(01:31):
my comfort zone by coming by myself. I'm here from Iowa.
I can do hard things. So many people came by themselves.
I thought that was so cool. And then another one said,
bond with my daughter. I'm so proud of her. People
came with their kids. Yeah that was sweet. Yeah there
was moms with their moms, so like grandma type ages.
(01:53):
But they also brought their daughters to three generations, So
three generations that I saw a few of those. To
get into touch with me again, to learn how to
feel laugh and enjoy the little things. Oh. I feel
like we did that, especially with the enjoy the little things,
with the emergency comfetti. I was gonna say, you actually
talked about that. To have fun, learn new tools from
(02:13):
my toolbox, make new friends it's my first solo trip,
another solo person. To be inspired, and to laugh. I
don't know, I laughed a lot. Okay, well, I mean
I guess to be inspired as relative like some people
they have felt inspired, but others might have been like, okay, yeah, yeah,
there's a lot of bonding. Another one said to learn
some new stuff and to bond with my mother in law,
(02:36):
which is also sweet. You know, come with your mom
and I'm with your mother in law. And then one
more I'll read so many people came with your daughters
to have fun, feel good and meet Amy. Oh if
they did that, hopefully, I guess if they were at
the v I P thing, then yes they did. And
then we got to do this really well. It could
have been awkward circle drill team thing at the meet
(02:58):
and greet before we all went out, and I made
everybody get in a circle, and I think some people
were very confused by that. But we did the contagion, right,
or the wave with our legs. Well, my sister said,
that's what it's called. The kick thing we did where
I made everybody kick and I just thought it was
a kick wave. Yeah, No, I think it's contagion. That
(03:19):
we did it back in drill team and then somewhere
in the night, I guess it was towards the end
of the night to on stage, my sister and I
decided to do a total kick routine thing from our
high school drill team days. And my back is still
hurting because I was in high heels. How did you
remember how to do that? Oh? We do. It's our
party trick. We do a lot, a couple of times,
not a lot, couple of times a year every year
(03:41):
for the last you know, uh years or so. I
do have an email and a few emails I'm going
to read from the night. This first one is a
little bit longer, but bear with me because it's powerful
and awesome and I'm so grateful to this listener for
opening up and sharing with us. Hi, Amy and Cat.
(04:03):
I've been an avid listener of the Four Things podcast
in the Bobby Bones Show since two thousand and nineteen.
My mom thirteen year old daughter, and I attended your
live podcast of it, in which it all the evening
was everything I thought it would be in more. I
walked away feeling refreshed and with a new desire to
truly live my life. I was excited to be drawn
as the winner of Christie's Root House coffee giveaway. My
(04:24):
husband and I are huge coffee connoisseurs, even grind our
own beans. Please tell Christy thank you for me. She
packaged everything so beautifully and I could tell she put
a lot of thought into it. I especially loved the
three bracelets with the different sayings. When you called my
seat number, it took me a second to process that
it was my number and to speak up. I excitedly squeaked,
(04:45):
Oh that's me. I had been so engrossed in the
third thing that I was not even thinking about the drawing.
And let me tell you why. When I was eight
years old, my parents divorced. My dad moved out and
started a new family. His life story is similar to
that of your dad's. He struggled to find happiness and
love himself. When you guys talked about your dad going
(05:07):
missing for a week, it was hard for me to
sit through. My dad went missing in two thousand and nineteen,
right before his birthday and Christmas. We could tell he
had taken a bag and a gun when he left.
My brother lived in the same town as my dad
and called to let me know what was going on.
As we talked, I remembered my brother saying that my
dad was either playing black jack at a casino in
Mississippi or he had killed himself. Sadly, the authorities found
(05:32):
him the next day. We lost him to suicide. He
was a nine days shy of his fifty eighth birthday.
I've learned that when you lose a family member to suicide,
there's a lot of guilt for each and every loved
one that has left behind. That's even true for the
children of the one who passed. When you called my
name as the giveaway winner, I felt as if my
dad was looking down on me and giving me a
(05:53):
sign that everything is okay and that he still loves
me and cares about the small things in my life.
I know God knew exis actually what I needed in
that moment, and I believe it was divinely inspired. I
was so engrossed in those thoughts that as I grabbed
the coffee from your niece and headed back to my seat.
It took me a second to remember my name when
you looked at me from the stage to ask me
(06:14):
what my name was. I remember feeling as if minutes
were passing, and in my head I was thinking, Amy
is asking you a question. Hurry answer. My thirteen year
old said, I looked like a huge nerd. Teenage daughters
are so honest. Tasha, my name is Tasha. I mentioned
earlier that I attended the event with my mom. She
has a two time breast cancer survivor who is now
(06:36):
on lifelong chemo. She wasn't familiar with your podcast, but
as always happy to tag along with me and my family.
She had an amazing time and is now a four
Things fan. She loved hearing your mom's story and was
inspired by how much the Pimp and Joy movement has accomplished.
As I reflected during the event and afterwards, I was
able to see that I am stuck and not living
life to the fullest. I put up walls and do
(06:59):
not love other is completely. I hate to show emotion
and really do I know this stems back to my
parents divorce and has gotten worse since two thousand and nineteen.
Losing my dad and knowing that my mom has stage
four cancer has no cure causes me to try to
ensure that no one gets too close to me. In
my head, I think that if they aren't close to you,
(07:19):
then it won't hurt when they leave this world. Thank
you for hosting the live podcast and for putting everything
you have into it. Because of you and your team,
I have decided to start therapy and take a step
towards healing, towards living life to the fullest. My family
deserves all of me, and I want to be able
to give that to them. Every single day. Expect miracles,
go out and put good things into the world. Just
(07:41):
one life. Your friend in Arkansas, Tasha, do you have
tears in your eyes? I know the first time I
read through it, I was actually on FaceTime with Fasio
and told her I'm gonna read this email, and I
started crying on FaceTime. I mean, Tasha, I also want
to take a second here to acknowled edge and I
already emailed Tasha back because I wanted to make sure
(08:04):
that my sister and I weren't insensitive to the fact
that somebody else in the audience maybe had possibly had
a parent go missing or a loved one go missing.
It never, it never dawned on me and telling that
story that while our outcome was very different and our
dad was fine, he did hit rock bottom, but he
ultimately did not take his life. There was some laughter
(08:26):
mixed in with that. I never thought that someone else
sitting in the audience might have lived through something very
similar and had a different outcome. And so when I
read the email, just hit me. But again, you can't
always know everybody's stories. And I'm so glad that winning
the giveaway that was perfect for you. And that was
your your dad moment, your godwink moment, your shoulder tap moment,
(08:46):
whatever you want to call it. That's just so cool.
Like what are the odds that she would win that
giveaway in that yes, with the third thing with my sister,
with the similarities of our mom's having cancer, in our
dad's stories and all divorce as a child, like I
was about that was the same age as her, and
then she had, yeah, her mom with her and her daughter,
and like that's so crazy, and like, I don't think
(09:08):
you think about that when you're like I'm gonna do
it giveaway, like that's not what you're planning, and so
it's just so interesting what things can turn into. And
then she got Christie's package with the coffee and then
the three things she said at the end of the
email expect miracles, go out and put good things into
the world, just one life. Christie included three bracelets that
she sells at root House in with the coffee, and
(09:29):
each bracelet has one of those sayings on it, and
so that's why she closed with it and shout out
Tasha to you for taking a step towards therapy, like
that's going to be a huge part of your healing
process and opening up and connecting with others. Yeah, I
think hearing those things it's so helpful for me, and
(09:51):
I assume it's helpful for you. But I forget how
there are people that never have heard parts of your
story or never have heard things said. I might have
like the stories that I told during that I've told
them a million times, but I forget they're not new
to me, but they could be new to other people sometimes.
And so it's nice to hear those and to hear
(10:12):
that like things that were said impacted somebody that big,
that time. Yeah, and if Tasha is the one person
like that, totally worth it. The whole thing is totally
worth it. And yeah, you're a part. She said in
the email that she's stuck, but she's ready to make
a move to get unstuck. You know which was you
covered getting unstuck, my sister covered making a move and
(10:35):
just a really special email, Tasha, So thank you for
sharing that with us. I have another email from Rebecca. Hey, Amy,
I'm from which at All, and I wanted to thank
(10:56):
you for coming to Kansas for your first lab podcast.
I came alone, but I did not feel alone in
that room. I've been following you in the Bobby Bones
show for years, and it felt like I was there
supporting my friend. So many things were said at the
show that I didn't even realize I needed to hear.
On my drive home, I listened to all the songs
you mentioned and it felt so therapeutic. I could go
(11:19):
on and on, but I just wanted to send some
love and encouragement Rebecca, which I'm so glad that you
you did the homework. The songs were part of the homework.
There's book recommendations that are part of the homework. Journaling
writing prompts from Ali Fallon that were part of the homework,
and we couldn't play the entire song sitting in that
room because that would have made the night go on
even longer than it already did, which I was already
(11:41):
over time. I went over shocking, shocking, I know, shocking.
I'm like, somebody throw a clock at me while I'm
on stage. Get this party wrapped up, let's sneak out
of it. I'm sure some people actually snuck out to
go home, back to the earth, back to the quote
from the beginning of this, some people made you smuck
out because maybe it wasn't their cup of tea, which
(12:02):
is totally fine. But thank you Rebecca for sending this,
and thank you for listening to the songs, because that's
what they were meant to do, was for you to
take time later to listen to the songs all the
way through and really listen to the words and listen
to what the artists are saying. And when we had
the messages from Dirk Spidley and Walker Hayes and A
Little Big Town and Nicole Galleon, those were notes they
(12:23):
recorded specifically for the four Things community about those songs,
and I hope that you know, if you weren't at
the live you were able to listen to the live
episode that was put up and that you were able
to hear what they had to say, and that you
it helps you listen to the music differently, and so
thank you Rebecca for coming alone. I have another email
(12:46):
from Kelly. She said, I was curious if the picture
that we took in Wichita where we all popped our
emergency confetti, can be seen anywhere. My friend enjoyed our
girls night out and I loved everything about the show.
We definitely think you need to take it on the road.
Thanks for picking Kansas first, Kelly, which I replied back
to Kelly, and I attached a photo that I do have,
(13:06):
which at this current moment isn't the best version of
the confetti popper. I think I had this vision of
how the picture was gonna look, which the emergency comfetti
was awesome. So shout out to my friend Gracie Mogler
for donating comfetti poppers to every single person. There was
hundreds of people in the room popping comfetti at the
same time, celebrating big and small things in life. Altogether
at once and it was so fun. But we're working
(13:29):
on trying to grab a still from the video. But
even the way the video guy was and the angle,
I just you learned things like this was our first time,
and I learned, oh, I would set up a photographer
different here, and then the camera that my friend Andrea
had that she was using, something happened with the lighting
and it just didn't anyway. All that to say, I
didn't quite get this big romantic version that I had
(13:51):
in my head of what the photo was going to be. Like.
If somehow we come across that or end up with it,
I will post it. But I emailed Kelly act with
what I had. You learned something, right, Yeah, we learned.
And then Big P whenever I did before we did
the group confetti, I brought four people on stage during
the first thing to pop some emergency confetti to give
(14:12):
a little demo, and Big P took a cool photo
of that. He and their live photos, so I kept
playing them because you can, like post sen it turned
into a little boomerang and then you can see the confetti.
He's not no offense, but he's not the best photographer,
so it's pretty impressed by his skills, which Big p
is Cat's boyfriend, and he flew all the way to
Kansas to support and I thought that was very thoughtful
(14:34):
and kind and just everybody that was a part of
it that made it possible. There were so many people.
It was crazy how many people it took to pull
that night off. And at the end of the night,
I tried to bring everybody on stage that could make
it up there. Some people couldn't leave their posts to
come up there and get recognized, but it was cool
to see everybody lined up, and it just it takes
(14:55):
a village to do things well. I've never done anything
like that and been a part of that kind of
a and so it was really neither I mean in
a way like I heart events I have, but that
is not like that is a more even more massive scale,
and I kind of just show up and do what
I'm supposed to do and get to the leaf. This
was part of the whole like choreography of all the things.
(15:16):
It was just interesting to me that, like everybody was
so nice. It's a stressful thing, right because you don't
know exactly how it's going to go, and there are
things that you have to do at certain times, and
there's things that you want to be a certain way.
But I felt so calm, even though I was nervous
because of the Everybody was so easy going and helpful
and happy to be It seems like everybody's happy to
(15:37):
be there. Nobody was like I have to work like.
It was like, oh, we're doing this fun thing. Yeah, No,
it was. The vibe was great. I loved everybody's energy
and encouragement and thoughtfulness and kindness and all of the things. Yeah,
you're not wrong, because I mean I've actually been at
other work type events where it is not been that smooth,
or when things go wrong there's just this pointment and yelling,
(16:00):
which I get it. There could be money on the
line and all kinds of things, but at the end
of the day, it's like, what are we gonna do
about it? I wouldn't ever want to yell anybody for it.
There was things that went wrong at the event. There's
stuff that happened with the screen, and there was nothing
we could do about it. But you know, I know
that nobody did that on purpose, and it was like,
I'm going to ruin her show, get out of here. Um,
(16:21):
But I mean, there have I know people that work
in that side of things that have been yelled at
so badly that it's been very emotional and so shout out.
We didn't have anybody that made anybody cry, like in
a mean way. Maybe some people shed tears for other reasons,
but I also didn't. I thought I was going to
get emotional in the night, and then I didn't. I
was able. I think I was trying to focus so much.
(16:42):
And then it's interesting in the beginning of the recording,
you can hear how nervous I am. My voice is
so nervous, but then as the things go on, by
the third thing, four thing, I sound more normal. I
feel like you were nervous like the first like minute
or so, but like once you get up there, it
felt like you're like, oh, I'm talking to my friends. Yeah, well,
thank you to all of my friends, our friends that
(17:03):
decided to show up and support all of you that
we met or haven't met. It was just really cool
to do it and see faces in person, because a
lot of times we're just talking to a microphone and
we can't see you on the other end. So that
was really really neat to experience, and we will look
at different cities for I don't know exactly what that
will look like, but will definitely keep you posted. And
(17:26):
the Emergency Confetti things too that we mentioned that's not
launched yet either. I've gotten some emails like where do
I get those? I want to buy and support Gracie
now it's such a cute idea, but she should have
everything launched early next year, I think ish, So I'll
definitely keep you'll post on that, and I'll probably likely
have Gracey on the podcast to talk about this creation
(17:46):
and what her hopes are with it. And it's so cool.
So yeah, Emergency Confetti Live Podcasts tour maybe so exciting
stuff next year. Before we get to next year, we
still have to get through to Thanksgiving and then we
have to get to Christmas, which if you've already started
your Christmas shopping, keep the Shot Forward in mind for
(18:06):
gift ideas that give back. There's so many cute, high quality,
meaningful items, especially four things items too, so you can
hit up the shop forward dot com. I'll put a
link in the show notes because I feel like I
often give lots of links. I'm like, you go to
the shop forward dot com, you go to four things
dot com. You go to shop a spat dot com.
It's all under the shop Forward umbrella. Oh and something
(18:28):
super fun that went up last night. We do this
every year and it's always a huge hit. But four
Things custom Christmas pullovers are now available. This is a
limited thing, but they're super cute for the holidays. You
can put whatever four things that you love about Christmas
on a very popular red pullover. It's the same black
pullover that we have for the four Things. I'm fine
(18:49):
pull over to everybody loves, but you just have to
make it. Thirteen characters are less. They really make great
pullovers to where to Christmas parties, holiday events. Matching family
page amas if y'all are into that, or a family
photo and everyone in the family gets their own customized pullover,
but then you all wear the same flannel pajamas on
the bottom. Those pictures are always so cute. If you
(19:10):
want to customize some for friends and give it to
them as their Christmas present, then do it now because
against a limited time thing. My four things on my
red pull over, our Baby Jesus, Mariah Carey, family Time Cookies.
Our friend Lauren Petrovsky has a one that says Sparkles,
Hallmark Holiday Cheer, Xmas Vacation. Our friend Keaton has one
(19:30):
that says Christmas Fresh, Pine, ice, skating, Satan Nick. So really,
whatever four things you want that you love about this season,
and then the Shop Forward has a whole list that
you can choose from the things that are thirteen characters
are less that are very Christmasy and holiday ish for you.
So you can go to their Instagram and click on
the pictures with the red pullovers with the four things
(19:51):
and then swipe and you'll see the full list and
their handle is at the shop Forward. So yeah, good excited.
These are something fun, but they're not always available, so
if you want to order them, I would start thinking
of the four things and get to the site and
order them. That's four Things dot com and they support Haiti.
There's a spat on the sleeve hope in Haitian creole,
(20:12):
and then there's also a little Christmas tree detail on
the sleeve as well, which is just a super cute touch.
Oh in cap before we go, I thought this was funny,
especially because at the live we talked about cussing and
how I used to not cuss and sometimes like now
cussing is fun. I saw that a study came out
that found that swearing is extremely helpful in a lot
(20:33):
of different ways. And I'll just run through some of
the ways. Okay. It helps us express joy, Like I'll
just say the word heck for you know, because this
is a podcast, but like heck yeah, but you could say,
you know another word. It helps us deal with pain,
like there's studies to say that. You know. It just
definitely helps with that, helps connect with each other, like
(20:56):
because humor, like if you all laugh over it, like
I feel like we were laughing, like, oh, you're the
bit best. I don't know. Um. It can make you
more convincing, and it's not considered to be as vulgar
as it once was, so more accepted. I have a
book in my office called Swearing Is Good for You.
(21:17):
It's by Emma Burn and the tag to it is
the Amazing Science of Bad Language. So you know what,
it's not just a saying that it feels good. It's
science saying that is good for you. Yeah. All right, Well,
all have the day. You need to have. Cat Where
can they find you? You can find me on Instagram
at at cat dot defata and at you need their
(21:38):
podcast and I am at Radio Amy, and then you
can email us for the fifth thing, four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Bye bye,
Happy Tuesday, Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat And today's quote is well from one of
my favorites things that we quote, the Le Royo sign
in Austin, Texas. I saw this one and took a
screenshot of it because I loved it so much, and
it said I used to sneak out of my house
to go to parties. Now I did the opposite, like
you sneak out of the parties to go to your house.
(00:25):
That's right, yes, And we definitely partied in Which at
all And then got back from there doing a live
show and went right into c m A Awards week
and I'm still recovering. I couldn't sneak out of the
Witch Tall Live because I wanted to be there and
that was amazing. But I snuck out of the c
m AS pretty early and went to bed. You couldn't
have snuck out of Which Top because you were the
(00:47):
main focus of the show. You would have been kind
of weird. Yeah, yeah, I guess you could have snuck
out if I wanted to do. But thank you for
staying the whole time, And shout out to Big P
for coming and being so supportive. We had put up
this question box in the v I P area before
the show, asking people to write down their expectations for
the night. And I know that Fasio pulled them and
(01:09):
emailed them to you, Cat, I haven't read. No, I
don't know she sent them directly to you, so you
could read them to me on the fifth thing, and
I have no idea. So I guess you could share
what people were expecting from the night, and then we
can gauge whether or not expectation was met. I'll read
a couple of them, because there's a lot, and some
of them are pretty similar, and some of them are
just like sweet. So one said, I'm stepping out of
(01:31):
my comfort zone by coming by myself. I'm here from Iowa.
I can do hard things. So many people came by themselves.
I thought that was so cool. And then another one said,
bond with my daughter. I'm so proud of her. People
came with their kids. Yeah that was sweet. Yeah there
was moms with their moms, so like grandma type ages.
(01:53):
But they also brought their daughters to three generations, So
three generations that I saw a few of those. To
get into touch with me again, to learn how to
feel laugh and enjoy the little things. Oh. I feel
like we did that, especially with the enjoy the little things,
with the emergency comfetti. I was gonna say, you actually
talked about that. To have fun, learn new tools from
(02:13):
my toolbox, make new friends it's my first solo trip,
another solo person. To be inspired, and to laugh. I
don't know, I laughed a lot. Okay, well, I mean
I guess to be inspired as relative like some people
they have felt inspired, but others might have been like, okay, yeah, yeah,
there's a lot of bonding. Another one said to learn
some new stuff and to bond with my mother in law,
(02:36):
which is also sweet. You know, come with your mom
and I'm with your mother in law. And then one
more I'll read so many people came with your daughters
to have fun, feel good and meet Amy. Oh if
they did that, hopefully, I guess if they were at
the v I P thing, then yes they did. And
then we got to do this really well. It could
have been awkward circle drill team thing at the meet
(02:58):
and greet before we all went out, and I made
everybody get in a circle, and I think some people
were very confused by that. But we did the contagion, right,
or the wave with our legs. Well, my sister said,
that's what it's called. The kick thing we did where
I made everybody kick and I just thought it was
a kick wave. Yeah, No, I think it's contagion. That
(03:19):
we did it back in drill team and then somewhere
in the night, I guess it was towards the end
of the night to on stage, my sister and I
decided to do a total kick routine thing from our
high school drill team days. And my back is still
hurting because I was in high heels. How did you
remember how to do that? Oh? We do. It's our
party trick. We do a lot, a couple of times,
not a lot, couple of times a year every year
(03:41):
for the last you know, uh years or so. I
do have an email and a few emails I'm going
to read from the night. This first one is a
little bit longer, but bear with me because it's powerful
and awesome and I'm so grateful to this listener for
opening up and sharing with us. Hi, Amy and Cat.
(04:03):
I've been an avid listener of the Four Things podcast
in the Bobby Bones Show since two thousand and nineteen.
My mom thirteen year old daughter, and I attended your
live podcast of it, in which it all the evening
was everything I thought it would be in more. I
walked away feeling refreshed and with a new desire to
truly live my life. I was excited to be drawn
as the winner of Christie's Root House coffee giveaway. My
(04:24):
husband and I are huge coffee connoisseurs, even grind our
own beans. Please tell Christy thank you for me. She
packaged everything so beautifully and I could tell she put
a lot of thought into it. I especially loved the
three bracelets with the different sayings. When you called my
seat number, it took me a second to process that
it was my number and to speak up. I excitedly squeaked,
(04:45):
Oh that's me. I had been so engrossed in the
third thing that I was not even thinking about the drawing.
And let me tell you why. When I was eight
years old, my parents divorced. My dad moved out and
started a new family. His life story is similar to
that of your dad's. He struggled to find happiness and
love himself. When you guys talked about your dad going
(05:07):
missing for a week, it was hard for me to
sit through. My dad went missing in two thousand and nineteen,
right before his birthday and Christmas. We could tell he
had taken a bag and a gun when he left.
My brother lived in the same town as my dad
and called to let me know what was going on.
As we talked, I remembered my brother saying that my
dad was either playing black jack at a casino in
Mississippi or he had killed himself. Sadly, the authorities found
(05:32):
him the next day. We lost him to suicide. He
was a nine days shy of his fifty eighth birthday.
I've learned that when you lose a family member to suicide,
there's a lot of guilt for each and every loved
one that has left behind. That's even true for the
children of the one who passed. When you called my
name as the giveaway winner, I felt as if my
dad was looking down on me and giving me a
(05:53):
sign that everything is okay and that he still loves
me and cares about the small things in my life.
I know God knew exis actually what I needed in
that moment, and I believe it was divinely inspired. I
was so engrossed in those thoughts that as I grabbed
the coffee from your niece and headed back to my seat.
It took me a second to remember my name when
you looked at me from the stage to ask me
(06:14):
what my name was. I remember feeling as if minutes
were passing, and in my head I was thinking, Amy
is asking you a question. Hurry answer. My thirteen year
old said, I looked like a huge nerd. Teenage daughters
are so honest. Tasha, my name is Tasha. I mentioned
earlier that I attended the event with my mom. She
has a two time breast cancer survivor who is now
(06:36):
on lifelong chemo. She wasn't familiar with your podcast, but
as always happy to tag along with me and my family.
She had an amazing time and is now a four
Things fan. She loved hearing your mom's story and was
inspired by how much the Pimp and Joy movement has accomplished.
As I reflected during the event and afterwards, I was
able to see that I am stuck and not living
life to the fullest. I put up walls and do
(06:59):
not love other is completely. I hate to show emotion
and really do I know this stems back to my
parents divorce and has gotten worse since two thousand and nineteen.
Losing my dad and knowing that my mom has stage
four cancer has no cure causes me to try to
ensure that no one gets too close to me. In
my head, I think that if they aren't close to you,
(07:19):
then it won't hurt when they leave this world. Thank
you for hosting the live podcast and for putting everything
you have into it. Because of you and your team,
I have decided to start therapy and take a step
towards healing, towards living life to the fullest. My family
deserves all of me, and I want to be able
to give that to them. Every single day. Expect miracles,
go out and put good things into the world. Just
(07:41):
one life. Your friend in Arkansas, Tasha, do you have
tears in your eyes? I know the first time I
read through it, I was actually on FaceTime with Fasio
and told her I'm gonna read this email, and I
started crying on FaceTime. I mean, Tasha, I also want
to take a second here to acknowled edge and I
already emailed Tasha back because I wanted to make sure
(08:04):
that my sister and I weren't insensitive to the fact
that somebody else in the audience maybe had possibly had
a parent go missing or a loved one go missing.
It never, it never dawned on me and telling that
story that while our outcome was very different and our
dad was fine, he did hit rock bottom, but he
ultimately did not take his life. There was some laughter
(08:26):
mixed in with that. I never thought that someone else
sitting in the audience might have lived through something very
similar and had a different outcome. And so when I
read the email, just hit me. But again, you can't
always know everybody's stories. And I'm so glad that winning
the giveaway that was perfect for you. And that was
your your dad moment, your godwink moment, your shoulder tap moment,
(08:46):
whatever you want to call it. That's just so cool.
Like what are the odds that she would win that
giveaway in that yes, with the third thing with my sister,
with the similarities of our mom's having cancer, in our
dad's stories and all divorce as a child, like I
was about that was the same age as her, and
then she had, yeah, her mom with her and her daughter,
and like that's so crazy, and like, I don't think
(09:08):
you think about that when you're like I'm gonna do
it giveaway, like that's not what you're planning, and so
it's just so interesting what things can turn into. And
then she got Christie's package with the coffee and then
the three things she said at the end of the
email expect miracles, go out and put good things into
the world, just one life. Christie included three bracelets that
she sells at root House in with the coffee, and
(09:29):
each bracelet has one of those sayings on it, and
so that's why she closed with it and shout out
Tasha to you for taking a step towards therapy, like
that's going to be a huge part of your healing
process and opening up and connecting with others. Yeah, I
think hearing those things it's so helpful for me, and
(09:51):
I assume it's helpful for you. But I forget how
there are people that never have heard parts of your
story or never have heard things said. I might have
like the stories that I told during that I've told
them a million times, but I forget they're not new
to me, but they could be new to other people sometimes.
And so it's nice to hear those and to hear
(10:12):
that like things that were said impacted somebody that big,
that time. Yeah, and if Tasha is the one person
like that, totally worth it. The whole thing is totally
worth it. And yeah, you're a part. She said in
the email that she's stuck, but she's ready to make
a move to get unstuck. You know which was you
covered getting unstuck, my sister covered making a move and
(10:35):
just a really special email, Tasha, So thank you for
sharing that with us. I have another email from Rebecca. Hey, Amy,
I'm from which at All, and I wanted to thank
(10:56):
you for coming to Kansas for your first lab podcast.
I came alone, but I did not feel alone in
that room. I've been following you in the Bobby Bones
show for years, and it felt like I was there
supporting my friend. So many things were said at the
show that I didn't even realize I needed to hear.
On my drive home, I listened to all the songs
you mentioned and it felt so therapeutic. I could go
(11:19):
on and on, but I just wanted to send some
love and encouragement Rebecca, which I'm so glad that you
you did the homework. The songs were part of the homework.
There's book recommendations that are part of the homework. Journaling
writing prompts from Ali Fallon that were part of the homework,
and we couldn't play the entire song sitting in that
room because that would have made the night go on
even longer than it already did, which I was already
(11:41):
over time. I went over shocking, shocking, I know, shocking.
I'm like, somebody throw a clock at me while I'm
on stage. Get this party wrapped up, let's sneak out
of it. I'm sure some people actually snuck out to
go home, back to the earth, back to the quote
from the beginning of this, some people made you smuck
out because maybe it wasn't their cup of tea, which
(12:02):
is totally fine. But thank you Rebecca for sending this,
and thank you for listening to the songs, because that's
what they were meant to do, was for you to
take time later to listen to the songs all the
way through and really listen to the words and listen
to what the artists are saying. And when we had
the messages from Dirk Spidley and Walker Hayes and A
Little Big Town and Nicole Galleon, those were notes they
(12:23):
recorded specifically for the four Things community about those songs,
and I hope that you know, if you weren't at
the live you were able to listen to the live
episode that was put up and that you were able
to hear what they had to say, and that you
it helps you listen to the music differently, and so
thank you Rebecca for coming alone. I have another email
(12:46):
from Kelly. She said, I was curious if the picture
that we took in Wichita where we all popped our
emergency confetti, can be seen anywhere. My friend enjoyed our
girls night out and I loved everything about the show.
We definitely think you need to take it on the road.
Thanks for picking Kansas first, Kelly, which I replied back
to Kelly, and I attached a photo that I do have,
(13:06):
which at this current moment isn't the best version of
the confetti popper. I think I had this vision of
how the picture was gonna look, which the emergency comfetti
was awesome. So shout out to my friend Gracie Mogler
for donating comfetti poppers to every single person. There was
hundreds of people in the room popping comfetti at the
same time, celebrating big and small things in life. Altogether
at once and it was so fun. But we're working
(13:29):
on trying to grab a still from the video. But
even the way the video guy was and the angle,
I just you learned things like this was our first time,
and I learned, oh, I would set up a photographer
different here, and then the camera that my friend Andrea
had that she was using, something happened with the lighting
and it just didn't anyway. All that to say, I
didn't quite get this big romantic version that I had
(13:51):
in my head of what the photo was going to be. Like.
If somehow we come across that or end up with it,
I will post it. But I emailed Kelly act with
what I had. You learned something, right, Yeah, we learned.
And then Big P whenever I did before we did
the group confetti, I brought four people on stage during
the first thing to pop some emergency confetti to give
(14:12):
a little demo, and Big P took a cool photo
of that. He and their live photos, so I kept
playing them because you can, like post sen it turned
into a little boomerang and then you can see the confetti.
He's not no offense, but he's not the best photographer,
so it's pretty impressed by his skills, which Big p
is Cat's boyfriend, and he flew all the way to
Kansas to support and I thought that was very thoughtful
(14:34):
and kind and just everybody that was a part of
it that made it possible. There were so many people.
It was crazy how many people it took to pull
that night off. And at the end of the night,
I tried to bring everybody on stage that could make
it up there. Some people couldn't leave their posts to
come up there and get recognized, but it was cool
to see everybody lined up, and it just it takes
(14:55):
a village to do things well. I've never done anything
like that and been a part of that kind of
a and so it was really neither I mean in
a way like I heart events I have, but that
is not like that is a more even more massive scale,
and I kind of just show up and do what
I'm supposed to do and get to the leaf. This
was part of the whole like choreography of all the things.
(15:16):
It was just interesting to me that, like everybody was
so nice. It's a stressful thing, right because you don't
know exactly how it's going to go, and there are
things that you have to do at certain times, and
there's things that you want to be a certain way.
But I felt so calm, even though I was nervous
because of the Everybody was so easy going and helpful
and happy to be It seems like everybody's happy to
(15:37):
be there. Nobody was like I have to work like.
It was like, oh, we're doing this fun thing. Yeah, No,
it was. The vibe was great. I loved everybody's energy
and encouragement and thoughtfulness and kindness and all of the things. Yeah,
you're not wrong, because I mean I've actually been at
other work type events where it is not been that smooth,
or when things go wrong there's just this pointment and yelling,
(16:00):
which I get it. There could be money on the
line and all kinds of things, but at the end
of the day, it's like, what are we gonna do
about it? I wouldn't ever want to yell anybody for it.
There was things that went wrong at the event. There's
stuff that happened with the screen, and there was nothing
we could do about it. But you know, I know
that nobody did that on purpose, and it was like,
I'm going to ruin her show, get out of here. Um,
(16:21):
But I mean, there have I know people that work
in that side of things that have been yelled at
so badly that it's been very emotional and so shout out.
We didn't have anybody that made anybody cry, like in
a mean way. Maybe some people shed tears for other reasons,
but I also didn't. I thought I was going to
get emotional in the night, and then I didn't. I
was able. I think I was trying to focus so much.
(16:42):
And then it's interesting in the beginning of the recording,
you can hear how nervous I am. My voice is
so nervous, but then as the things go on, by
the third thing, four thing, I sound more normal. I
feel like you were nervous like the first like minute
or so, but like once you get up there, it
felt like you're like, oh, I'm talking to my friends. Yeah, well,
thank you to all of my friends, our friends that
(17:03):
decided to show up and support all of you that
we met or haven't met. It was just really cool
to do it and see faces in person, because a
lot of times we're just talking to a microphone and
we can't see you on the other end. So that
was really really neat to experience, and we will look
at different cities for I don't know exactly what that
will look like, but will definitely keep you posted. And
(17:26):
the Emergency Confetti things too that we mentioned that's not
launched yet either. I've gotten some emails like where do
I get those? I want to buy and support Gracie
now it's such a cute idea, but she should have
everything launched early next year, I think ish, So I'll
definitely keep you'll post on that, and I'll probably likely
have Gracey on the podcast to talk about this creation
(17:46):
and what her hopes are with it. And it's so cool.
So yeah, Emergency Confetti Live Podcasts tour maybe so exciting
stuff next year. Before we get to next year, we
still have to get through to Thanksgiving and then we
have to get to Christmas, which if you've already started
your Christmas shopping, keep the Shot Forward in mind for
(18:06):
gift ideas that give back. There's so many cute, high quality,
meaningful items, especially four things items too, so you can
hit up the shop forward dot com. I'll put a
link in the show notes because I feel like I
often give lots of links. I'm like, you go to
the shop forward dot com, you go to four things
dot com. You go to shop a spat dot com.
It's all under the shop Forward umbrella. Oh and something
(18:28):
super fun that went up last night. We do this
every year and it's always a huge hit. But four
Things custom Christmas pullovers are now available. This is a
limited thing, but they're super cute for the holidays. You
can put whatever four things that you love about Christmas
on a very popular red pullover. It's the same black
pullover that we have for the four Things. I'm fine
(18:49):
pull over to everybody loves, but you just have to
make it. Thirteen characters are less. They really make great
pullovers to where to Christmas parties, holiday events. Matching family
page amas if y'all are into that, or a family
photo and everyone in the family gets their own customized pullover,
but then you all wear the same flannel pajamas on
the bottom. Those pictures are always so cute. If you
(19:10):
want to customize some for friends and give it to
them as their Christmas present, then do it now because
against a limited time thing. My four things on my
red pull over, our Baby Jesus, Mariah Carey, family Time Cookies.
Our friend Lauren Petrovsky has a one that says Sparkles,
Hallmark Holiday Cheer, Xmas Vacation. Our friend Keaton has one
(19:30):
that says Christmas Fresh, Pine, ice, skating, Satan Nick. So really,
whatever four things you want that you love about this season,
and then the Shop Forward has a whole list that
you can choose from the things that are thirteen characters
are less that are very Christmasy and holiday ish for you.
So you can go to their Instagram and click on
the pictures with the red pullovers with the four things
(19:51):
and then swipe and you'll see the full list and
their handle is at the shop Forward. So yeah, good excited.
These are something fun, but they're not always available, so
if you want to order them, I would start thinking
of the four things and get to the site and
order them. That's four Things dot com and they support Haiti.
There's a spat on the sleeve hope in Haitian creole,
(20:12):
and then there's also a little Christmas tree detail on
the sleeve as well, which is just a super cute touch.
Oh in cap before we go, I thought this was funny,
especially because at the live we talked about cussing and
how I used to not cuss and sometimes like now
cussing is fun. I saw that a study came out
that found that swearing is extremely helpful in a lot
(20:33):
of different ways. And I'll just run through some of
the ways. Okay. It helps us express joy, Like I'll
just say the word heck for you know, because this
is a podcast, but like heck yeah, but you could say,
you know another word. It helps us deal with pain,
like there's studies to say that. You know. It just
definitely helps with that, helps connect with each other, like
(20:56):
because humor, like if you all laugh over it, like
I feel like we were laughing, like, oh, you're the
bit best. I don't know. Um. It can make you
more convincing, and it's not considered to be as vulgar
as it once was, so more accepted. I have a
book in my office called Swearing Is Good for You.
(21:17):
It's by Emma Burn and the tag to it is
the Amazing Science of Bad Language. So you know what,
it's not just a saying that it feels good. It's
science saying that is good for you. Yeah. All right, Well,
all have the day. You need to have. Cat Where
can they find you? You can find me on Instagram
at at cat dot defata and at you need their
(21:38):
podcast and I am at Radio Amy, and then you
can email us for the fifth thing, four Things with
Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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