June 6, 2023 • 30 mins
This chat ended up being a PSA to set up your emergency contacts in your phone ASAP if you haven't already done it. However, you might want to make sure that you select people that will actually respond if an SOS gets sent out. Amy for sure needs to rethink hers...since she basically could have been murdered or kidnapped this weekend...and nobody would have saved her.
Other topics:
- Don't sleep on Facebook Marketplace, it has some good finds!
- Is Amy supposed to change her name because Brown isn't her maiden name?
- Kat teaches us how to figure out who a lost phone belongs to if you find it!
- Amy shares an email from a listener named Katie who has seen a dramatic shift in her life since she started practicing gratitude!!
- What is something you're proud of yourself for today?
- Amy's new podcast room (filming the 5th Thing will start soon!!)
- Is Kat a good therapist?
Today's quote is from Jay Shetty: "If you can build a muscle, you can build a mindset."
HOSTS:
@Kat.Defatta // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Aimi and I'm Cat, and I got a couple
quotes for you today. The first one comes from Cat.
She literally just said, Mmm, this is so good. It
doesn't even taste like a protein bar. And that's because
I gave her one of those chocolatey pretzel bar situations
that I talk about from time to time. I think
(00:26):
Cat and I talked about it the other day. Maybe no,
actually we talked about the Alpha ten ones.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
We talked about that.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
That was us the other Cat and I did too,
because you know, she has the code cat ten. She
loves to say cat ten. But this is nug Yeah, nugogo.
I think I talked about both. I guess my new
thing is just talk about bars. This is a bar podcast. No,
definitely not. But those are the two bars I actually
have in my pantry right now. I love a salty
(00:53):
sweet situation, and that's what that is. And I didn't
know if you were gonna like it because you hadn't
tried it yet, and you are very, very very when
it comes to bars.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So yay shout out. This is not an ad.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I don't even know the New Go people, and I
only tell you about the alpha ten ones because those
are good too. And well cat has a code, so yay,
not this cat, this therapy cat, that's cryocat.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But I do have a real quote from.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Jayshetty okay, and it's if you can build a muscle,
you can build a mindset.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Nice. Isn't that good? Are you thinking about that?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
I think it's not as deep as it as I
was thinking it as.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It just is that simple. If you can build a muscle,
you can build a mindset.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, it's clear and simple.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's I was trying to explain to my son the
other day that he can rewire his brain. There's some
things that he's doing where I was like, hey, if
you continue to do that, you're going this direction and
you're you know, forming a path, and it's getting deeper
and deeper to where that's the direction you want to go.
And it's not necessarily bad, but I know you want
to do this other thing, so let's start redirecting. And
(01:56):
the more you practice going that way.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
The more you'll get there.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Because you I sort of described it as it's almost
like you're doing a little exercise in your brain. You've
got to work it out that way to start going
that direction, and then naturally you'll go that direction instead
of the other, right.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Like he does jiu jitsu, right, that's what he loves. Yeah,
so you could frame it in that way. I don't
really know what you do there, but like if you're
playing baseball or something or golf, it's all muscle memory
that gets you to perfect whatever you're doing. And that's
the same thing, but it's the muscle of your brain.
So you don't have to think about it. You just
naturally go that way. You don't have to think about it.
You naturally swing the bat that way, or karate chop
(02:35):
the What did you.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Do in jiu jitsu?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
What kind of what it is?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They kind of roll on the ground and it is
it's it's rolling. What well, I just watch I don't
know what some of this to us? Is it sparring
or they kind of somehow end up on the ground
and whoever ends up on top win?
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Wait, what's the difference one?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
First of all? What also what's there between karate and
jiu jitsu? Do you know.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Karate that you like you fight kick and you know.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
The jiu jitsu there's no contact unless you're on top
of them.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Well, there's contact when they're rolling. I guess somehow you
have to so, you know, get them on the ground.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Without touching that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
All right, we'll figure it out. You're like the best
jiu jitsu mom out there.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Things well, you know what, he loves it, but he's
only done one competition and he's still so new. Then
luckily there wasn't that many people in his uh. I
guess a group, weight group. I don't know how they
classify things. So even though he lost, he's still got
a medal, second place medal or something. Sort's like all
(03:44):
the two people and so it's like, you placed, This
is amazing, this is so great, and he can't Mom,
I'm the only other person left. That's okay, you still
got it. You know the that in the Olympics, the
bronze medal winner psychologically feels better than the silver even
(04:04):
though they ranked lower. Why because the silver oftentimes is
like ugh, it's so close to gold and you didn't
get there, whereas bronze it's like happy to be here,
happy to be happy to be on the podium.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
That makes sense, I know, Oh, have.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You ever gotten first place in anything?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I've won like little like Nashville and the Fitness Community Awards,
but I haven't like won a.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
You Want Your Therapy.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
The podcast won for Nashville Fit Magazine. For You Need
Therapy won Best Local Podcast, and then we've won I've
won Best Local Therapists. Those competitions are like so biased.
It's great, it's it's fun, but I don't think too
much about them.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
But I've never won.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I never won like a soccer My soccer team wasn't
very good growing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Up, so we would have been happy to have third.
You're happy to have like seventh or eighth.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, but I don't think I ever won like a
big I mean, our sorority won like competitions, but I
usually was competitions. You mustn't do competition, No, like for
different philanthropies. There's always a competition, but I usually didn't participate.
I only participated, Oh this is a good story. Only
participated in one because it was usually dancing and stuff
and I'm not coordinated.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
We would do it.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
I would do any Mrrols, But there was one that
was it was a Sigma Kai something and you had
to do a musical performance and one of the girls
last minute backed out, and my friend sang the free
Willie Michael Jackson song.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is that song? Hold Me Just Little Bit, isn't that? Yeah? Okay,
So my friend sang it.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
She dressed up like Michael Jackson, and then me and
my other friend got blow up dolphin like floats, cut
the back out and then got in them, and then
cut the face out and we were just dolphins on
the stage and we got first.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Wow, that's actually pretty creative.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
So that's what I want to like.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Cut the float out, which speaks of floats.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We just loaded your car up with floats I had
in my garage because your thirty year old seem to
be thirty year old fiance is having a pool party.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And you thought it was for Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
So Kat, since o't a paperless post an evite or something,
And I click on the email and I pull it up,
and it looked like an invitation for someone turning three,
not thirty. It's like a pool with like these primary
colored floaties. It just looked very childish. Yeah, but it's
(06:28):
still fun. I'm going to be there, and so Pat, yes,
Patrick is you're right, he's already turned thirty. But the
party is tomorrow and so Kat was getting the floats
and because I went way overboard last year for Stashira's
birthday party, she just wanted a pool party, and I
ordered swans and little clear hearts and circles like she
(06:49):
was floating with, had all kinds of stuff in it
looked really cute. So Patrick's about to have swans and
hearts at his thirty year old birthday party party.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Okay, invitation. They didn't have a lot of good ones
on there. They're either really feminine or childish.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
So I went for Oh, yeah, it's not it's just funny.
I don't think she's like.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I almost missed the invitation because I thought it was
for Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I was like, Oh, whose birthday party is this? Oh
it's Patrick. I just checked my Facebook Marketplace offer. I
don't know if y'all ever used Facebook Marketplace, but I'm
obsessed with it lately. I sell things on it. I've
been selling things on Facebook Marketplace and Poshmark.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
And but Poshmark you have to mail it out, don't
he Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I'm like, that seems so much like a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Well, they're paying for the shipping.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Oh really?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Or you can work the shipping into the price. I
don't pay the shipping. Oh and it's not like I'm
a business that's selling lots of things every single day.
It's like, oh, maybe i'll sell these shoes or maybe
I'll sell this jacket. So every once in a while
something goes out. I highly recommend. It's like Craig's the
List used to be the thing I went.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Over there early. Wait is that still?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh yeah, it's still a thing I went over. I'm
not gonna go back. I was like, Okay, we'll sketch
you over here.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
But have you bought something from Gregslist?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Not lately I have, but in your life, Oh yeah,
in my early twenties I used to buy things. Like
as late twenties, I bought a lot of things from Craigslist.
I know that Ben and I were newly married, and
that's how I furnished a lot of our house and
I would get stuff and Lunchbox would even go with
me sometimes because I'd be going to meet people and
it was advised like don't go alone.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, and that's how people would get murdered.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
But Craigslist is just like Facebook marketplace in the like
non safety of it because they have a Facebook profile,
but it could be a fake one.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I'm just saying what is available to purchase on Facebook
marketplace is now better than gregslist. In my opinion, it
just seemed like Craigslist went down in quality of inventory.
But speaking of getting murdered, I had a situation happened
last night. I had a situation happened last night. And
(09:14):
I was on a walk with my friend Kat cry
Okat and we had the dogs, and my phone was
dying anyway, so I thought, well, I'm not going to
take my phone with me on the walk. What's the
point because I don't want to carry it. So I
threw it into my console. Well, I have things in
my center console like sunglasses and dry shampoo and you.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Know, all the things you may need.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And I guess the way my phone set in and
the dry shampoo bottle, and then when I shut the lid,
it hit the buttons on the side perfectly to where
it does an SOS emergency call.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
And I didn't know. We get the dogs and I'm.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
On a walk. Oh, you don't even know that happens.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I don't even know what it happened until way after
and my sister and then are my emergency contacts?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Wait wait wait, is that something you have to set
up in your phone? Yes, I don't have that. I
thought SS would call the police.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It does.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
It also called nine one one. Yeah, so on my
phone it called nine one one. It sent text messages
to Vin and Christy of my exact location at pinpoint
the park where I was, and that I had activated
my SOS and whatever and I was in an emergency.
So my sister gets it and is freaking out. She's
(10:23):
psychoedialing me. She's calling Ben, she's calling Stashira, She's she's
in Colorado. So she's very worried about me. And I
check and I have like nothing from Ben. In fact,
the only reply from Ben was I don't know to
the SOS. And I'm like, well, now I'm mad because yeah,
I know that we're divorced now, but like I could
(10:44):
have been dead.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Wait wait wait wait, what does the SOS say to him?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Okay, let me pull it up. So this is the problem.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I also need to change how I have my name
saved in my phone, because I have my number in
my phone saved as me me, like I saved my
self as me, not Amy.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So Therefore, when Ben got.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
The emergency SOS, yes, the text message was coming from ME,
but it said this emergency SOS ME has made an
emergency call from this approximate location. You are receiving this
message because ME has listed.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
You as an emergency conduct and.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Then it gave the location, which, to be fair, the
park is near our house, and so it kind of
just looks like it's coming from our house because if
you look at the streets that are around it, it
looks like the pinpoint is our house. So I think
Ben was in a meeting and he looked down and
he's like me, Me, And then it said where we were,
(11:44):
which looked like our house. So he just replied, I
don't know, like I don't know what this.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Is like to me?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Does it come from your phone?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yes, So he's thinking that I just sent something about me,
Like he's like, who's me?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And why are you sending this emergency.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
From the house? And he was at the house last
night and he knew there wasn't an emergency.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Do you see what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
He wasn't trying to get rude, but my sister, who
is in Colorado, she read it as, oh, this is
an emergency.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
This is where Amy is. We need to find her.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And Ben was in a meeting, so he wasn't answering
Christie's calls, and Steer was like, no, I don't know
where mom is. You know, like nobody cared, so Ben
cared right, thank you. She's the one that showed me
how one should react. So then I'm getting all mad
about a fake scenario that never happened.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
And I get home and Ben is with Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Cause I know this probably sounds weird if people know
that Ben and I are getting forced, but anyway, we
all we all are together.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Like a lot still.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So he was here with Stevenson and I walk in
and I'm all mad, and he's like, what's going on.
He's like, I'm trying to get Stevens into bed, and
you have the dog and he needs to sleep with
the dog. And he's all frustrated, and I'm like, you're
frustrated about the dog. I'm frustrated because because I almost
died and you didn't care. You didn't though, I mean
(13:08):
I could have died like I was getting kidnapped and
murdered for all he knew, for all he knew, and
nobody cared in this house, not Sashira not been even
though to Share didn't get the notification, but she did
get a call from my sister, and my sister's like, Sashia,
where's your mom? I just got an SOS from her,
and so she was probably like SOS what does that
(13:31):
stand for? You know, skittles on Sunday?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
I mean she probably doesn't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Yeah, so you were like coming back hot.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So I was very upset because my husband that is
no longer my husband didn't care about me to save
me because he's still my marriage.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
So you heard.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Actually he called today.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I had him on speaker because I was working on
something and Kat was in the room and Cat heard
him say, hey, I've been thinking about last night almost
all day. He's like, and you have no idea how
bad I feel. I just misunderstood what was happening. And
I was in a meeting, but he was basically saying,
I just want you to know if you were ever
in an emergency, like I would be there for you.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
And he said I would want to be there for you.
It was very sweet and sincere.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It really was. So I feel better now.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
But wouldn't really if you were really murdered last night.
His apology wouldn't really matter.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Would it, righte Not.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Nope, it wouldn't because I'd be dead. And I bet
everybody feel real bad. Sometimes when you hear a significant
other finds out that their partner had a dream about
something like they dreamed, they you know, something happened to this,
and then you get mad at them for the dream
and it's like it was just a dream.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I get mad at Patrick for dreams I have, yes
or like that, Like if something happens in my dream,
I get so upset and I'm like, you did this,
and it felt very real, So I'm going to need
a second because it feels like you really did.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
That must be where I got this from, because I
was like, this feels like a dream, and where I
hear people that get mad at dreaming, And I think
it's because you've told me that before.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, okay, which is hard because I mean, the feelings
that you have are valid, but they're not justified because
he didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
No, I definitely had to notice my rain because my
mind is a muscle and I've been exercising it and
I'm very rational. I needed to remove the emotion and
step back and be like, I am now ruminating over
a very false scenario that never happened, and I'm allowing
it to hijack my body right now.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
So and exannex and went to bed.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I was gonna say, and you can be really grateful
for how your sister responded, but that works too.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
It was a very stressful evening but because of some
other things. And that's not how I recommend taking care
of stuff. But that's why I have my stash. I
have it by prescription and it takes me forever to
get through it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
But I knew last night was one of those nights.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It got me so worked up that I was I
probably should have meditated and self regulated, because I do.
That's my goal is working towards that. And before we
sat down, I looked at you and I'm like, oh,
today has been a day. And then I was like, oh,
and I haven't meditated yet because I like to start
my day with that, and I know I'll get to it.
But it's just been very powerful in how I respond.
(16:25):
But I did have awareness, awareness, Like I was aware
that I was not being rational when I'm talking to
Ben last night, angry at him. For not responding to
my very false situation. It was a drill, I said.
It was a drill you failed. It wasn't a planned drill.
It happened by accident. It was an impromptu, accidental drill.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
So now you should do a real drill, right.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Would you ever say in those moments when you have
the awareness awareness like, I know I'm overreacting right now,
but this is how I feel right now.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yes, And I do think I was able to express
that to him.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I said, I know that I am having probably what
would seem to you like a weird reaction, I said,
but I don't know now. I've just been processing that
what if something really happened to me, that this is
how it would have gone down.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Like it's almost like at first you'd be like, lol,
he didn't see this, and then you it sinks in
and you're like, wait a second, I could be dead,
and then you get mad. After you're like it's funny,
and then you can get back to the point where
it's funny again.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, which is today.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So you've recovered cover quickly. So we started talking about
that only because you brought up murder.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Your message from Facebook market place.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Sometimes I'm like, how did we get here? But it
all makes sense?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, did you get offer back?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Does it tell you if they've seen your message on
Facebook messages? Because I just I just have scent, so
I don't know if she's seen it yet.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I found the cutest dining room table and chairs because
in the divorce, I have lost my dining room table
and chairs, not lost, they're going to his house.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
So I'm looking for something new.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
And I found eight chairs and a table and they
are perfect for my house, so totally my vibe. And
she had a price listed, of course, then I went
lower so that she would maybe counter or And it's
so exciting. It's like a game, and I can't wait
for her to reply to see if this is going
to be my new table. I don't really like my
kitchen table. Did you also don't like it?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I don't you want to buy it?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
I would have bought it if I didn't just buy
a new one. I wanted a kitchen table your size
that was your just oval around.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's round and then it has a leaf and it
makes it oval.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Okay, that's what I wanted because I have that space
in my kitchen that I was like, a round table
would fit perfectly here, but I couldn't find a round
table that I liked, So I just on Facebook Marketplace
found a West Elm rectangle table and I got a
good sweet deal on it, so I was like, whatever,
I'll just take this one.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
So I feel like this is a even though we
haven't talked about anything I've planned to talk about or
we had planned on talking about so far, this is
a good reminder too, don't always go straight to the stores.
Check out Facebook Marketplace. It's a great way to find deals.
Also sell things on there. It's a great way if
you're not using something to get cash. And then also
(19:19):
set up the emergency contacts in your phone.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Because if you're doing a Facebook Marketplace sale and something
goes awry, you need to be able to press that button.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
So if somebody shows.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Up exactly next time I talk to you, you need
to have your emergency contact set up. Got it and
everybody else listening next time I talk to you.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
And you have to have your name changed to what,
oh maybe yeah your name?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh that was I thought you meant?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Because but also something Ben and I've talked about is
my name's Amy Brown and Brown is my married name.
I'm not going to change my name because professionally, yeah,
it's but also I don't know. I guess just professionally
go by Amy Brown. But then in my personal life
do I become like you have to go get a
new license and become Are you changing your name back? Well,
(20:05):
that's what I don't know. I'm asking what should I do.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
I feel like that's a it is a personal thing,
doesn't matter. I have a friend who still has her
the name of her ex husband, and she was so say,
I'm not going to change it again because if I
ever do get married again, then I have to change
it again, like it's just easier. It doesn't really, she
wasn't traumatized by the name, so she's out of convenience
and do it because it's I mean, it's a lot
of work to change your name.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, professionally I can't.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
And yeah you pray. But wait, were you on the
show before you got married?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yes, but only for six months.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Okay, so it wasn't like a thing, right you change
your name.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But also the show wasn't what I didn't have all
the different things that I had. We were one show
in one market, and I was Amy before social media,
which I guess on socialis I'm Radio Amy, so it's
not the Amy Brown.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
But you know, sometimes when I type your name and
to call you, I type in radio Amy instead of Well.
I do that with my sister on Instagram. I type
in because she's sister Sarah, and like my brother's Brothered.
That's for emergencies. I have all of my family it's dad, Defada, mom, whatever, sister,
So if somebody finds my phone or something happens, they
can find my mom or dad or my family member.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Do other people do that?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
How do you do you have you saved? I don't.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I don't think I've never done it, so unless.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's an emergency sos no, I didn't see how it
comes up, because I'm thinking if you don't have your
number saved, then it might just be a text message
that comes from you and it says the number, and
then it would make more sense.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Wait a second, Okay, I learned a trick too. This
is such an informative podcast. I was at the airport.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I'm like, is it though?
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Somebody left their phone on the kiosk where you get
like your boarding pass and I didn't know how to
find them, Like, it could be anybody's phone, and so
there is something that.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You can do. This is an informant because I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
But there's something you can do if a phone is locked,
for Siri to tell you what the name is of
the phone.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Okay, but I don't know what it is, so informative.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Okay, Well anybody remember as let us know.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Here, I'm going to read an email and you look
it up? Can you can you google it?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I can do that, and then maybe we can actually
because that actually was very helpful give.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Someone helpful information.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well you know, actually I had several emails and now
I'm like, well we've been talking for a while now,
so I might just save some of them. But let's
read one.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
How about that.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I'm just any mean minym going to read the one
from Katie Hey Amy. I wrote in a little over
a year ago about being in a really rough season
and how I started writing four things I'm grateful for
every day. Well now I'm just over a year in,
and what a difference it has made. I didn't notice
it day today, but looking back, I see a dramatic
shift in my attitude from where I was A year ago.
(22:49):
I started doing it with my son every night before bed,
making him tell me three things he's grateful for and
one thing he is proud of himself about that day,
so he can practice both gratitude and self confidence and
intrinsic motivation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Like internal intrinsic? Okay,
well we both learned. I taught you litigious, you shaling
(23:12):
me intrinsic. Just a thought. Have you ever thought about
adding a space in the Gratitude journal for something like today,
I'm proud of myself for blink. I've seen it make
a difference in myself and my son calling out something
we are proud of ourselves for that day. Anyway, you
and kat continue being inspiring your friend, Katie h And
(23:34):
I think that's a great prompt no matter what, whether
it's in a journal or not some of you that
do journal, or if you're looking to journal, or maybe
you don't even want a journal, but it's just you
could think through or out loud when you're driving or
at the end of the day reflect on it and think,
what did I do today that I'm proud of?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Right?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So last night I could say I was proud of
being aware that I was being ridiculous, because there have
been times where I'm being ridiculous and I didn't.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Know it and somebody's like, you're being ridiculous, and You're like,
I'm absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, Like I have gratitudes for the fact that I knew.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, I knew. And then today I'm proud.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Of myself for being resourceful and potentially finding a really
good deal for a dining room table and chairs on
Facebook Marketplace, which.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I she did she message you?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh my gosh, I think she's seen it. I think
she's responding, are those bubbles tbd?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Keep talking?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Well, I read the email and you were looking that up.
But also I want you to share something you're proud
of because I think this is a beautiful prompt.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
It's intrinsic.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I don't think that works.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
It's intrinsic motivation. It does work.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm proud of actually is yesterday,
I've been really tired because I traveled last week, and
she oh hearing that? Yeah, okay, do we need to
read that first? And then don't ball you think do
you have I have it? I ought to tell you
really quick. I was just proud of myself. Yesterday I
was very like set on getting up at a certain
time and working out before work, and I had to
(25:02):
do it because I want a vacation and I was
just kind of being crazy about it. And I woke
up and I was really tired, and I said, you know,
I'm just going to sleep. So I was proud of
myself for allowing myself to rest.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Good little thing.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But yeah, I don't think that's little at all.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
And before we get into your marketplace, all you have
to do is hold the phone and say, hey, Siri,
who does this phone belong to?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm sure couldn't be that easy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Well, hey, I didn't know that, but be I'm sure.
There's so many people that were listening. They were like,
all you have to do is into the phone.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I got a reply. Okay, she said, amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I'll be around all weekend if you want to come
by and look at anything. Let me double check with
my partner if that's a good price for the dining
room set. Oh.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I thought she was an amazing for the price. So
she hasn't really answered that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I think just amazing that I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
But it's not like she came back with a like,
if I was her, I would just take fifty or
one hundred off of what I was asking and just
be like, well, I'll meet you here, and then I
would be like deal. Right, But if she wants to
check with her partner and figure that out, okay, all right.
Well hopefully y'all got something out of this chat. I
(26:14):
wish that we could do video fit things right now,
but it's going to happen. I just showed Kat a
new room in my house where we're going to start
recording and we'll start filming some things because Kat and
I tried to film a few months ago and it
is so bad. It was a train wreck. Because I
(26:37):
think that video parts would be cool. I don't know
if does that watch on YouTube or maybe just for
teaser clips on Instagram or I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Does that mean we would have to like get dressed? No, okay,
I can still show up like this. Oh yeah, I
mean I think we could look however we want.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I mean, I look a little interesting today and I've
got to go do.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
A video with the kids.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It's a mattress firm because they're going to get new
mattresses tonight. Tonight or tomorrow. But I can't imagine I
would look any different tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Than I look right now. I think you look great.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And it's fine because I am grateful for the kids
being able to go and like test out the mattresses
and I have a partnership with them now and it's amazing,
and I'm like.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Oh, it's going to be so cute.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I'm like y'all's first little, first little gig like y'all are,
and the kids are like great, so sharees like, yes,
I'll do whatever, because I she wants a very particular feeling.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
What's the not soft?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Firm? Not first?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
No, I want firms. She wants soft.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh, like, I love my mattress to be very hard.
Otherwise my back gets really irritated. And so she's excited
that she's going to actually be able to pick out
how it's going to feel.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
So thank you, mattress.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Would you or have you ever slept on a waterbed?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I'm not and I wouldn't. Why do you have one?
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I just wonder if anybody's still used to the eighties
or was that like a popular thing back then.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yes, okay, so my uncle had a waterbed.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I mean I remember thinking they were amazing and I
wanted one, but I've never had one.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Okay, I didn't know if to share would like a waterbed.
They seem like they're pretty solved. I assume they don't
sell those that Mattress Firm.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I just typed in what year were waterbeds cool? Let's
see seventies, eighties, nineties started to decrever.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I wonder what the draw to them was.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Well, because I think it was patented in the early
seventies and then it became popular late seventies through the eighties.
Probably just like something cool and different, a waterbed.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
I thought it was so cool. My uncle had a waterbed.
But I don't know that would choose that for myself.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, definitely not doing that. I feel like that'd be
like a lot too. It's weird take care of and
that would probably definitely hurt my back, but who knows.
All Right, hope y'all are having the day that you
need to have? Cat Where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
On Instagram at Cat dot Defada and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And I am at Radio Amy on Instagram Radioamy dot com.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Ooh, I just.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Got another DM from my Chacebook marketplace. She has a
she has some other items available. Maybe you can do
a bundle one get a deal for doing I'll buy
this all for this price. Okay, bundle grab bag, surprise me?
What else you got? Radio amy dot com? Everything that
you may need, like links to the four Things Gratitude journal,
(29:30):
you can get through there or easy way is four
things dot com and all proceeds from that support Haiti
and I will see yall on Thursday for four Things
and then make sure you check out cats podcasts on
Monday and Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
You need therapy? Do you have one that you have
done recently?
Speaker 4 (29:48):
The most recent one that I loved doing was my
interview with Mike Foster and he went over his new book,
The Seven Primal Questions.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Oh, I know you love him. It's so fun.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
I was really nervous, but he was. He's so calming.
He's like when you think of a therapist, he's that.
So I felt great.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Do you think like he felt like you were a
good therapist? Probably not why, I don't know he That's
just a story I have in my head. He probably
thought I was.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
I was so excited to talk to him, so he
probably was like, what is she like when she's with
a a client.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
She's like, oh my gosh, that's so exciting to tell
me more.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Well, I know that you're a good therapist, so and
I know people that go to you, even though you
can't tell me that I know, or whatever that rule is,
I can't confirm or deny. I can't confirm or deny
I might see them, I might not. You may or
may not, but they love you well, so cool, keep
up the good word on the street.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Word on the street is you're good. Okay, we'll see
y'all later.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Bye bye,
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
I'm Aimi and I'm Cat, and I got a couple
quotes for you today. The first one comes from Cat.
She literally just said, Mmm, this is so good. It
doesn't even taste like a protein bar. And that's because
I gave her one of those chocolatey pretzel bar situations
that I talk about from time to time. I think
(00:26):
Cat and I talked about it the other day. Maybe no,
actually we talked about the Alpha ten ones.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
We talked about that.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
That was us the other Cat and I did too,
because you know, she has the code cat ten. She
loves to say cat ten. But this is nug Yeah, nugogo.
I think I talked about both. I guess my new
thing is just talk about bars. This is a bar podcast. No,
definitely not. But those are the two bars I actually
have in my pantry right now. I love a salty
(00:53):
sweet situation, and that's what that is. And I didn't
know if you were gonna like it because you hadn't
tried it yet, and you are very, very very when
it comes to bars.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
So yay shout out. This is not an ad.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I don't even know the New Go people, and I
only tell you about the alpha ten ones because those
are good too. And well cat has a code, so yay,
not this cat, this therapy cat, that's cryocat.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
But I do have a real quote from.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Jayshetty okay, and it's if you can build a muscle,
you can build a mindset.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Nice. Isn't that good? Are you thinking about that?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:25):
I think it's not as deep as it as I
was thinking it as.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
It just is that simple. If you can build a muscle,
you can build a mindset.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, it's clear and simple.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
It's I was trying to explain to my son the
other day that he can rewire his brain. There's some
things that he's doing where I was like, hey, if
you continue to do that, you're going this direction and
you're you know, forming a path, and it's getting deeper
and deeper to where that's the direction you want to go.
And it's not necessarily bad, but I know you want
to do this other thing, so let's start redirecting. And
(01:56):
the more you practice going that way.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
The more you'll get there.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Because you I sort of described it as it's almost
like you're doing a little exercise in your brain. You've
got to work it out that way to start going
that direction, and then naturally you'll go that direction instead
of the other, right.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Like he does jiu jitsu, right, that's what he loves. Yeah,
so you could frame it in that way. I don't
really know what you do there, but like if you're
playing baseball or something or golf, it's all muscle memory
that gets you to perfect whatever you're doing. And that's
the same thing, but it's the muscle of your brain.
So you don't have to think about it. You just
naturally go that way. You don't have to think about it.
You naturally swing the bat that way, or karate chop
(02:35):
the What did you.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Do in jiu jitsu?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
What kind of what it is?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
They kind of roll on the ground and it is
it's it's rolling. What well, I just watch I don't
know what some of this to us? Is it sparring
or they kind of somehow end up on the ground
and whoever ends up on top win?
Speaker 4 (02:57):
Wait, what's the difference one?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
First of all? What also what's there between karate and
jiu jitsu? Do you know.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Karate that you like you fight kick and you know.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
The jiu jitsu there's no contact unless you're on top
of them.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Well, there's contact when they're rolling. I guess somehow you
have to so, you know, get them on the ground.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Without touching that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
All right, we'll figure it out. You're like the best
jiu jitsu mom out there.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Things well, you know what, he loves it, but he's
only done one competition and he's still so new. Then
luckily there wasn't that many people in his uh. I
guess a group, weight group. I don't know how they
classify things. So even though he lost, he's still got
a medal, second place medal or something. Sort's like all
(03:44):
the two people and so it's like, you placed, This
is amazing, this is so great, and he can't Mom,
I'm the only other person left. That's okay, you still
got it. You know the that in the Olympics, the
bronze medal winner psychologically feels better than the silver even
(04:04):
though they ranked lower. Why because the silver oftentimes is
like ugh, it's so close to gold and you didn't
get there, whereas bronze it's like happy to be here,
happy to be happy to be on the podium.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
That makes sense, I know, Oh, have.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
You ever gotten first place in anything?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
I've won like little like Nashville and the Fitness Community Awards,
but I haven't like won a.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
You Want Your Therapy.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
The podcast won for Nashville Fit Magazine. For You Need
Therapy won Best Local Podcast, and then we've won I've
won Best Local Therapists. Those competitions are like so biased.
It's great, it's it's fun, but I don't think too
much about them.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
But I've never won.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I never won like a soccer My soccer team wasn't
very good growing.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
Up, so we would have been happy to have third.
You're happy to have like seventh or eighth.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, but I don't think I ever won like a
big I mean, our sorority won like competitions, but I
usually was competitions. You mustn't do competition, No, like for
different philanthropies. There's always a competition, but I usually didn't participate.
I only participated, Oh this is a good story. Only
participated in one because it was usually dancing and stuff
and I'm not coordinated.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
We would do it.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
I would do any Mrrols, But there was one that
was it was a Sigma Kai something and you had
to do a musical performance and one of the girls
last minute backed out, and my friend sang the free
Willie Michael Jackson song.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is that song? Hold Me Just Little Bit, isn't that? Yeah? Okay,
So my friend sang it.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
She dressed up like Michael Jackson, and then me and
my other friend got blow up dolphin like floats, cut
the back out and then got in them, and then
cut the face out and we were just dolphins on
the stage and we got first.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Wow, that's actually pretty creative.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
So that's what I want to like.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Cut the float out, which speaks of floats.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We just loaded your car up with floats I had
in my garage because your thirty year old seem to
be thirty year old fiance is having a pool party.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
And you thought it was for Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
So Kat, since o't a paperless post an evite or something,
And I click on the email and I pull it up,
and it looked like an invitation for someone turning three,
not thirty. It's like a pool with like these primary
colored floaties. It just looked very childish. Yeah, but it's
(06:28):
still fun. I'm going to be there, and so Pat, yes,
Patrick is you're right, he's already turned thirty. But the
party is tomorrow and so Kat was getting the floats
and because I went way overboard last year for Stashira's
birthday party, she just wanted a pool party, and I
ordered swans and little clear hearts and circles like she
(06:49):
was floating with, had all kinds of stuff in it
looked really cute. So Patrick's about to have swans and
hearts at his thirty year old birthday party party.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Okay, invitation. They didn't have a lot of good ones
on there. They're either really feminine or childish.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
So I went for Oh, yeah, it's not it's just funny.
I don't think she's like.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
I almost missed the invitation because I thought it was
for Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I was like, Oh, whose birthday party is this? Oh
it's Patrick. I just checked my Facebook Marketplace offer. I
don't know if y'all ever used Facebook Marketplace, but I'm
obsessed with it lately. I sell things on it. I've
been selling things on Facebook Marketplace and Poshmark.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
And but Poshmark you have to mail it out, don't
he Yes, that's the thing.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I'm like, that seems so much like a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Well, they're paying for the shipping.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Oh really?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Or you can work the shipping into the price. I
don't pay the shipping. Oh and it's not like I'm
a business that's selling lots of things every single day.
It's like, oh, maybe i'll sell these shoes or maybe
I'll sell this jacket. So every once in a while
something goes out. I highly recommend. It's like Craig's the
List used to be the thing I went.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Over there early. Wait is that still?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Oh yeah, it's still a thing I went over. I'm
not gonna go back. I was like, Okay, we'll sketch
you over here.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
But have you bought something from Gregslist?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Not lately I have, but in your life, Oh yeah,
in my early twenties I used to buy things. Like
as late twenties, I bought a lot of things from Craigslist.
I know that Ben and I were newly married, and
that's how I furnished a lot of our house and
I would get stuff and Lunchbox would even go with
me sometimes because I'd be going to meet people and
it was advised like don't go alone.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Yeah, and that's how people would get murdered.
Speaker 4 (08:33):
But Craigslist is just like Facebook marketplace in the like
non safety of it because they have a Facebook profile,
but it could be a fake one.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I'm just saying what is available to purchase on Facebook
marketplace is now better than gregslist. In my opinion, it
just seemed like Craigslist went down in quality of inventory.
But speaking of getting murdered, I had a situation happened
last night. I had a situation happened last night. And
(09:14):
I was on a walk with my friend Kat cry
Okat and we had the dogs, and my phone was
dying anyway, so I thought, well, I'm not going to
take my phone with me on the walk. What's the
point because I don't want to carry it. So I
threw it into my console. Well, I have things in
my center console like sunglasses and dry shampoo and you.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Know, all the things you may need.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
And I guess the way my phone set in and
the dry shampoo bottle, and then when I shut the lid,
it hit the buttons on the side perfectly to where
it does an SOS emergency call.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
And I didn't know. We get the dogs and I'm.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
On a walk. Oh, you don't even know that happens.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I don't even know what it happened until way after
and my sister and then are my emergency contacts?
Speaker 4 (09:56):
Wait wait wait, is that something you have to set
up in your phone? Yes, I don't have that. I
thought SS would call the police.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
It does.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
It also called nine one one. Yeah, so on my
phone it called nine one one. It sent text messages
to Vin and Christy of my exact location at pinpoint
the park where I was, and that I had activated
my SOS and whatever and I was in an emergency.
So my sister gets it and is freaking out. She's
(10:23):
psychoedialing me. She's calling Ben, she's calling Stashira, She's she's
in Colorado. So she's very worried about me. And I
check and I have like nothing from Ben. In fact,
the only reply from Ben was I don't know to
the SOS. And I'm like, well, now I'm mad because yeah,
I know that we're divorced now, but like I could
(10:44):
have been dead.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Wait wait wait wait, what does the SOS say to him?
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Okay, let me pull it up. So this is the problem.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I also need to change how I have my name
saved in my phone, because I have my number in
my phone saved as me me, like I saved my
self as me, not Amy.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So Therefore, when Ben got.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
The emergency SOS, yes, the text message was coming from ME,
but it said this emergency SOS ME has made an
emergency call from this approximate location. You are receiving this
message because ME has listed.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
You as an emergency conduct and.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
Then it gave the location, which, to be fair, the
park is near our house, and so it kind of
just looks like it's coming from our house because if
you look at the streets that are around it, it
looks like the pinpoint is our house. So I think
Ben was in a meeting and he looked down and
he's like me, Me, And then it said where we were,
(11:44):
which looked like our house. So he just replied, I
don't know, like I don't know what this.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Is like to me?
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Does it come from your phone?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yes, So he's thinking that I just sent something about me,
Like he's like, who's me?
Speaker 1 (11:58):
And why are you sending this emergency.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
From the house? And he was at the house last
night and he knew there wasn't an emergency.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Do you see what I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
He wasn't trying to get rude, but my sister, who
is in Colorado, she read it as, oh, this is
an emergency.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
This is where Amy is. We need to find her.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
And Ben was in a meeting, so he wasn't answering
Christie's calls, and Steer was like, no, I don't know
where mom is. You know, like nobody cared, so Ben
cared right, thank you. She's the one that showed me
how one should react. So then I'm getting all mad
about a fake scenario that never happened.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
And I get home and Ben is with Stevenson.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Cause I know this probably sounds weird if people know
that Ben and I are getting forced, but anyway, we
all we all are together.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Like a lot still.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So he was here with Stevenson and I walk in
and I'm all mad, and he's like, what's going on.
He's like, I'm trying to get Stevens into bed, and
you have the dog and he needs to sleep with
the dog. And he's all frustrated, and I'm like, you're
frustrated about the dog. I'm frustrated because because I almost
died and you didn't care. You didn't though, I mean
(13:08):
I could have died like I was getting kidnapped and
murdered for all he knew, for all he knew, and
nobody cared in this house, not Sashira not been even
though to Share didn't get the notification, but she did
get a call from my sister, and my sister's like, Sashia,
where's your mom? I just got an SOS from her,
and so she was probably like SOS what does that
(13:31):
stand for? You know, skittles on Sunday?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
I mean she probably doesn't, you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Yeah, so you were like coming back hot.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
So I was very upset because my husband that is
no longer my husband didn't care about me to save
me because he's still my marriage.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
So you heard.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Actually he called today.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I had him on speaker because I was working on
something and Kat was in the room and Cat heard
him say, hey, I've been thinking about last night almost
all day. He's like, and you have no idea how
bad I feel. I just misunderstood what was happening. And
I was in a meeting, but he was basically saying,
I just want you to know if you were ever
in an emergency, like I would be there for you.
Speaker 4 (14:14):
And he said I would want to be there for you.
It was very sweet and sincere.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It really was. So I feel better now.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
But wouldn't really if you were really murdered last night.
His apology wouldn't really matter.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Would it, righte Not.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Nope, it wouldn't because I'd be dead. And I bet
everybody feel real bad. Sometimes when you hear a significant
other finds out that their partner had a dream about
something like they dreamed, they you know, something happened to this,
and then you get mad at them for the dream
and it's like it was just a dream.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
I get mad at Patrick for dreams I have, yes
or like that, Like if something happens in my dream,
I get so upset and I'm like, you did this,
and it felt very real, So I'm going to need
a second because it feels like you really did.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
That must be where I got this from, because I
was like, this feels like a dream, and where I
hear people that get mad at dreaming, And I think
it's because you've told me that before.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Yeah, okay, which is hard because I mean, the feelings
that you have are valid, but they're not justified because
he didn't do anything.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
No, I definitely had to notice my rain because my
mind is a muscle and I've been exercising it and
I'm very rational. I needed to remove the emotion and
step back and be like, I am now ruminating over
a very false scenario that never happened, and I'm allowing
it to hijack my body right now.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
So and exannex and went to bed.
Speaker 4 (15:43):
I was gonna say, and you can be really grateful
for how your sister responded, but that works too.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
It was a very stressful evening but because of some
other things. And that's not how I recommend taking care
of stuff. But that's why I have my stash. I
have it by prescription and it takes me forever to
get through it.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
But I knew last night was one of those nights.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It got me so worked up that I was I
probably should have meditated and self regulated, because I do.
That's my goal is working towards that. And before we
sat down, I looked at you and I'm like, oh,
today has been a day. And then I was like, oh,
and I haven't meditated yet because I like to start
my day with that, and I know I'll get to it.
But it's just been very powerful in how I respond.
(16:25):
But I did have awareness, awareness, Like I was aware
that I was not being rational when I'm talking to
Ben last night, angry at him. For not responding to
my very false situation. It was a drill, I said.
It was a drill you failed. It wasn't a planned drill.
It happened by accident. It was an impromptu, accidental drill.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
So now you should do a real drill, right.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
Would you ever say in those moments when you have
the awareness awareness like, I know I'm overreacting right now,
but this is how I feel right now.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yes, And I do think I was able to express
that to him.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I said, I know that I am having probably what
would seem to you like a weird reaction, I said,
but I don't know now. I've just been processing that
what if something really happened to me, that this is
how it would have gone down.
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Like it's almost like at first you'd be like, lol,
he didn't see this, and then you it sinks in
and you're like, wait a second, I could be dead,
and then you get mad. After you're like it's funny,
and then you can get back to the point where
it's funny again.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Yeah, which is today.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So you've recovered cover quickly. So we started talking about
that only because you brought up murder.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
Your message from Facebook market place.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Sometimes I'm like, how did we get here? But it
all makes sense?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, did you get offer back?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Does it tell you if they've seen your message on
Facebook messages? Because I just I just have scent, so
I don't know if she's seen it yet.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
I found the cutest dining room table and chairs because
in the divorce, I have lost my dining room table
and chairs, not lost, they're going to his house.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
So I'm looking for something new.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
And I found eight chairs and a table and they
are perfect for my house, so totally my vibe. And
she had a price listed, of course, then I went
lower so that she would maybe counter or And it's
so exciting. It's like a game, and I can't wait
for her to reply to see if this is going
to be my new table. I don't really like my
kitchen table. Did you also don't like it?
Speaker 1 (18:28):
I don't you want to buy it?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
I would have bought it if I didn't just buy
a new one. I wanted a kitchen table your size
that was your just oval around.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
It's round and then it has a leaf and it
makes it oval.
Speaker 4 (18:39):
Okay, that's what I wanted because I have that space
in my kitchen that I was like, a round table
would fit perfectly here, but I couldn't find a round
table that I liked, So I just on Facebook Marketplace
found a West Elm rectangle table and I got a
good sweet deal on it, so I was like, whatever,
I'll just take this one.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
So I feel like this is a even though we
haven't talked about anything I've planned to talk about or
we had planned on talking about so far, this is
a good reminder too, don't always go straight to the stores.
Check out Facebook Marketplace. It's a great way to find deals.
Also sell things on there. It's a great way if
you're not using something to get cash. And then also
(19:19):
set up the emergency contacts in your phone.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Because if you're doing a Facebook Marketplace sale and something
goes awry, you need to be able to press that button.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
So if somebody shows.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Up exactly next time I talk to you, you need
to have your emergency contact set up. Got it and
everybody else listening next time I talk to you.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
And you have to have your name changed to what,
oh maybe yeah your name?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Oh that was I thought you meant?
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Because but also something Ben and I've talked about is
my name's Amy Brown and Brown is my married name.
I'm not going to change my name because professionally, yeah,
it's but also I don't know. I guess just professionally
go by Amy Brown. But then in my personal life
do I become like you have to go get a
new license and become Are you changing your name back? Well,
(20:05):
that's what I don't know. I'm asking what should I do.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
I feel like that's a it is a personal thing,
doesn't matter. I have a friend who still has her
the name of her ex husband, and she was so say,
I'm not going to change it again because if I
ever do get married again, then I have to change
it again, like it's just easier. It doesn't really, she
wasn't traumatized by the name, so she's out of convenience
and do it because it's I mean, it's a lot
of work to change your name.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, professionally I can't.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
And yeah you pray. But wait, were you on the
show before you got married?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Yes, but only for six months.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Okay, so it wasn't like a thing, right you change
your name.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
But also the show wasn't what I didn't have all
the different things that I had. We were one show
in one market, and I was Amy before social media,
which I guess on socialis I'm Radio Amy, so it's
not the Amy Brown.
Speaker 4 (20:52):
But you know, sometimes when I type your name and
to call you, I type in radio Amy instead of Well.
I do that with my sister on Instagram. I type
in because she's sister Sarah, and like my brother's Brothered.
That's for emergencies. I have all of my family it's dad, Defada, mom, whatever, sister,
So if somebody finds my phone or something happens, they
can find my mom or dad or my family member.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Do other people do that?
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Maybe?
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Do you?
Speaker 1 (21:17):
How do you do you have you saved? I don't.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I don't think I've never done it, so unless.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
It's an emergency sos no, I didn't see how it
comes up, because I'm thinking if you don't have your
number saved, then it might just be a text message
that comes from you and it says the number, and
then it would make more sense.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
Wait a second, Okay, I learned a trick too. This
is such an informative podcast. I was at the airport.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
I'm like, is it though?
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Somebody left their phone on the kiosk where you get
like your boarding pass and I didn't know how to
find them, Like, it could be anybody's phone, and so
there is something that.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
You can do. This is an informant because I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
But there's something you can do if a phone is locked,
for Siri to tell you what the name is of
the phone.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Okay, but I don't know what it is, so informative.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Okay, Well anybody remember as let us know.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Here, I'm going to read an email and you look
it up? Can you can you google it?
Speaker 4 (22:11):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
I can do that, and then maybe we can actually
because that actually was very helpful give.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Someone helpful information.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
Well you know, actually I had several emails and now
I'm like, well we've been talking for a while now,
so I might just save some of them. But let's
read one.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
How about that.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I'm just any mean minym going to read the one
from Katie Hey Amy. I wrote in a little over
a year ago about being in a really rough season
and how I started writing four things I'm grateful for
every day. Well now I'm just over a year in,
and what a difference it has made. I didn't notice
it day today, but looking back, I see a dramatic
shift in my attitude from where I was A year ago.
(22:49):
I started doing it with my son every night before bed,
making him tell me three things he's grateful for and
one thing he is proud of himself about that day,
so he can practice both gratitude and self confidence and
intrinsic motivation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Like internal intrinsic? Okay,
well we both learned. I taught you litigious, you shaling
(23:12):
me intrinsic. Just a thought. Have you ever thought about
adding a space in the Gratitude journal for something like today,
I'm proud of myself for blink. I've seen it make
a difference in myself and my son calling out something
we are proud of ourselves for that day. Anyway, you
and kat continue being inspiring your friend, Katie h And
(23:34):
I think that's a great prompt no matter what, whether
it's in a journal or not some of you that
do journal, or if you're looking to journal, or maybe
you don't even want a journal, but it's just you
could think through or out loud when you're driving or
at the end of the day reflect on it and think,
what did I do today that I'm proud of?
Speaker 3 (23:52):
Right?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So last night I could say I was proud of
being aware that I was being ridiculous, because there have
been times where I'm being ridiculous and I didn't.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
Know it and somebody's like, you're being ridiculous, and You're like,
I'm absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Yeah, Like I have gratitudes for the fact that I knew.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, I knew. And then today I'm proud.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
Of myself for being resourceful and potentially finding a really
good deal for a dining room table and chairs on
Facebook Marketplace, which.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
I she did she message you?
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Oh my gosh, I think she's seen it. I think
she's responding, are those bubbles tbd?
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Keep talking?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Well, I read the email and you were looking that up.
But also I want you to share something you're proud
of because I think this is a beautiful prompt.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
It's intrinsic.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
I don't think that works.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
It's intrinsic motivation. It does work.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yeah, yeah, you know what I'm proud of actually is yesterday,
I've been really tired because I traveled last week, and
she oh hearing that? Yeah, okay, do we need to
read that first? And then don't ball you think do
you have I have it? I ought to tell you
really quick. I was just proud of myself. Yesterday I
was very like set on getting up at a certain
time and working out before work, and I had to
(25:02):
do it because I want a vacation and I was
just kind of being crazy about it. And I woke
up and I was really tired, and I said, you know,
I'm just going to sleep. So I was proud of
myself for allowing myself to rest.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Good little thing.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But yeah, I don't think that's little at all.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
And before we get into your marketplace, all you have
to do is hold the phone and say, hey, Siri,
who does this phone belong to?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm sure couldn't be that easy.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Well, hey, I didn't know that, but be I'm sure.
There's so many people that were listening. They were like,
all you have to do is into the phone.
Speaker 3 (25:34):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I got a reply. Okay, she said, amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I'll be around all weekend if you want to come
by and look at anything. Let me double check with
my partner if that's a good price for the dining
room set. Oh.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I thought she was an amazing for the price. So
she hasn't really answered that.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
I think just amazing that I'm interested.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
But it's not like she came back with a like,
if I was her, I would just take fifty or
one hundred off of what I was asking and just
be like, well, I'll meet you here, and then I
would be like deal. Right, But if she wants to
check with her partner and figure that out, okay, all right.
Well hopefully y'all got something out of this chat. I
(26:14):
wish that we could do video fit things right now,
but it's going to happen. I just showed Kat a
new room in my house where we're going to start
recording and we'll start filming some things because Kat and
I tried to film a few months ago and it
is so bad. It was a train wreck. Because I
(26:37):
think that video parts would be cool. I don't know
if does that watch on YouTube or maybe just for
teaser clips on Instagram or I don't know.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Does that mean we would have to like get dressed? No, okay,
I can still show up like this. Oh yeah, I
mean I think we could look however we want.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I mean, I look a little interesting today and I've
got to go do.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
A video with the kids.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
It's a mattress firm because they're going to get new
mattresses tonight. Tonight or tomorrow. But I can't imagine I
would look any different tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Than I look right now. I think you look great.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And it's fine because I am grateful for the kids
being able to go and like test out the mattresses
and I have a partnership with them now and it's amazing,
and I'm like.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
Oh, it's going to be so cute.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
I'm like y'all's first little, first little gig like y'all are,
and the kids are like great, so sharees like, yes,
I'll do whatever, because I she wants a very particular feeling.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
What's the not soft?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Firm? Not first?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
No, I want firms. She wants soft.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Oh, like, I love my mattress to be very hard.
Otherwise my back gets really irritated. And so she's excited
that she's going to actually be able to pick out
how it's going to feel.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
So thank you, mattress.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Would you or have you ever slept on a waterbed?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I'm not and I wouldn't. Why do you have one?
Speaker 4 (27:56):
I just wonder if anybody's still used to the eighties
or was that like a popular thing back then.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
Yes, okay, so my uncle had a waterbed.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I mean I remember thinking they were amazing and I
wanted one, but I've never had one.
Speaker 4 (28:09):
Okay, I didn't know if to share would like a waterbed.
They seem like they're pretty solved. I assume they don't
sell those that Mattress Firm.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I just typed in what year were waterbeds cool? Let's
see seventies, eighties, nineties started to decrever.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I wonder what the draw to them was.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Well, because I think it was patented in the early
seventies and then it became popular late seventies through the eighties.
Probably just like something cool and different, a waterbed.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
I thought it was so cool. My uncle had a waterbed.
But I don't know that would choose that for myself.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, definitely not doing that. I feel like that'd be
like a lot too. It's weird take care of and
that would probably definitely hurt my back, but who knows.
All Right, hope y'all are having the day that you
need to have? Cat Where can people find you?
Speaker 4 (28:56):
On Instagram at Cat dot Defada and at Unique Therapy podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
And I am at Radio Amy on Instagram Radioamy dot com.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Ooh, I just.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Got another DM from my Chacebook marketplace. She has a
she has some other items available. Maybe you can do
a bundle one get a deal for doing I'll buy
this all for this price. Okay, bundle grab bag, surprise me?
What else you got? Radio amy dot com? Everything that
you may need, like links to the four Things Gratitude journal,
(29:30):
you can get through there or easy way is four
things dot com and all proceeds from that support Haiti
and I will see yall on Thursday for four Things
and then make sure you check out cats podcasts on
Monday and Wednesday.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
You need therapy? Do you have one that you have
done recently?
Speaker 4 (29:48):
The most recent one that I loved doing was my
interview with Mike Foster and he went over his new book,
The Seven Primal Questions.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It's so good.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Oh, I know you love him. It's so fun.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
I was really nervous, but he was. He's so calming.
He's like when you think of a therapist, he's that.
So I felt great.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Do you think like he felt like you were a
good therapist? Probably not why, I don't know he That's
just a story I have in my head. He probably
thought I was.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
I was so excited to talk to him, so he
probably was like, what is she like when she's with
a a client.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
She's like, oh my gosh, that's so exciting to tell
me more.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Well, I know that you're a good therapist, so and
I know people that go to you, even though you
can't tell me that I know, or whatever that rule is,
I can't confirm or deny. I can't confirm or deny
I might see them, I might not. You may or
may not, but they love you well, so cool, keep
up the good word on the street.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Word on the street is you're good. Okay, we'll see
y'all later.
Speaker 3 (30:47):
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!