March 12, 2019 • 24 mins
Amy now has ‘The 5th Thing’ (a bonus episode) where she answers your questions every Tuesday! ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy will answer questions you’ve emailed in. You can send in questions directly to Amy here: 4thingswithAmybrown@gmail.com. This week Amy’s husband joins her for the Q&A because there were some questions directed at him. They discuss Amy’s favorite jeans, when Ben first said “I love you” to the kids, @velvetsedge being on a reality show, new #4Things pullovers, how Amy and Ben find balance because she is so open and he is so private, and more on what it was like for Ben to get out of the military. You can send in questions directly to Amy here: 4thingswithAmybrown@gmail.com...maybe one week your questions will get addressed!
(Episode 19)
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, we are here with another Tuesday Q and A.
It's the fifth Thing. I'm Amy Brown, host of Four
Things with Amy Brown. That's my podcast. It's every Thursday,
and then from that the four things that we talk about.
We've got an email address, Four Things with Amy Brown
at gmail dot com, and we check questions and if
you've got on please send home because they may end
(00:22):
up on this Q and A episode or it may
end up as one of the things in the actual
the actual episode on Thursday. Um, if it's like it
can be like a thing thing. But I've got my
husband here so a little treat. He was up here
at the studio doing some other stuff, so I brought
him in because I felt like I was getting a
lot of questions that pertain to you, Bibe, so I
(00:44):
brought you in. Well, and I have not told him
about the questions before here. I mean, that's my thing,
so I can't turn them down, no veto, no nothing.
I guess you can when I read the question if
you want to say I don't really want to go there,
and then you just say I'm not ready to talk
about that and we'll move on. But the since my
husband of twelve years been hello, and he is awesome.
(01:05):
Got me a waffle maker this weekend. How'd that go?
It went pretty good. I was challenging with the mix.
It's easier to buy the waffle maker than make the waffles. Yeah,
so I went to yoga. So my birthday is next
week and you're going to be gone. So you decided to,
you know, get the kids and make waffles. That would
be a good family thing. Sent me to yoga, which,
(01:26):
by the by the way, when I went to yoga,
I realized that I had not been there since last June.
So it's March. Oh, mid March, and yeah. When I
got walked in, they were like hey, and I was like,
just out of curiosity, when's the last time I took
a class? And she looked up in the computer and
she was like June. So anyway, that was real fun
(01:47):
being able to actually go to a class. This last
year us becoming parents, Like, our schedules have just changed
quite a bit. And I do really all of my
working out at home. When you say, yeah, pretty much,
especially yoga. I do. Came outside and like, wait right,
so I walk still kind of at the house, um
walk the dog, I do yoga. I train with Aaron
(02:08):
at the house, do Tracy Anderson at the house. And
if I do yoga, I do yoga with Adrian on YouTube.
So much fun. You've done that one? Yes, Oh, now
you're in denial. You don't want anything. You do yoga
on YouTube at home? No, I don't want admit that.
Why did you even make me do that? So anyway,
(02:29):
I go to yoga and I come back and then
and the kids are making waffles. But there was some
an ingredient mix up and there was a whole mishap.
So anyway, we finally got it figured out and we
made waffles and they were so awesome, weren't they? Yeah,
they were really really good. It made me want to
make waffles all the time. Yeah, I thought they came
(02:51):
out great. I think we need to work a little
bit more on like speeding up the process. It took
too long, but well that's because you mixed together the
wrong ingredients. So then we had to start completely over.
When I walked in from yoga, you had this basically
like ball of play do which would not have gone
into the waffle maker. So we had to completely start over.
(03:13):
And what you don't know is I'd already added like
a whole extra like cup of milk to it to
like try to loosen it up, because I was I
was trying to break it down. I was about to
add water before you came in. But yeah, that's so.
That was super sweet and fun and a fun time
with the kids. And I feel like anybody that comes
to stay with us now it'll be like our thing,
waf time. Wake up. It's waffle time time at the Browns.
(03:43):
So I've got some questions that will dive into and
you can just join in on me, whether they have
you in them or not. Do you want to start
with one that has you in it? Let's do that.
Let's let's warm you up. Hey, Amy, First, I'd like
to say that I really enjoy your husband being on
your podcast. You to balance each other well being that
(04:03):
love is a very important word to your husband, which
if you haven't listened to his our episode on the
Four Things podcast where he talks about love, go listen
to that. She said, My question is when did he
first say I love you to your kids? Was it
before they officially were your kids, after they were your kids,
when you were all back in America. I'm also curious
(04:24):
with his feelings on Stashira and not saying I love
you yet, Kristen, So, do you know the first time
you said I love you to them? Yeah, once we
were back in America. America. You didn't say it in Haiti.
I didn't say it in Haiti, and I didn't say
it really when it was I was waiting for it
to be final. Um. But at the same point, you know,
(04:44):
when it became final was like at four o'clock to
day we got on a plane to leave, so it
was kind of you know that today it was kind
of crazy, and then it was just all craziness for
like twenty four hours getting home and everybody coming over.
So it probably wasn't until probably two or three days
into it, when we're put on the bed that like, hey,
I haven't I don't think I've said I love you.
You know, Hey, good night, I love you. So that's
(05:06):
how you didn't say, I don't think I've said this
to you, And not that they myself understood. Their English
was still a little off back then. But and then
Stusshira has she said I love you to you. Okay,
she hasn't really verbally said it to me, but she
did actually finally, a couple of weeks ago, give me
(05:28):
that card that she made in church that said I
love my mom. And then she gave it to me
and I was like what And then I freaked out
and I asked her, like, you really love me? Over
the top? I went way over the top. It was embarrassing. Well,
I felt that. I was like, you never, She's never
gonna say it again. Yes, she will think, Yeah, she's
fine now. I mean she hasn't said it, but she
said a lot of sense. How many times she renew
(05:49):
a card since she gave me the birthday card that
we opened the waffles. No, but she said, I don't
have it here with me. Maybe I don't know. I
need to go see if you put love saying. She
did say in the card. It was really sweet, she said, mom,
or I love that you are smart and hard working
(06:12):
or something and that you're cool. Maybe No, I think
you're paraphrasing. What did she say? I think you're actually
ad living, not paraphrasing. She said, you were cool. Did
you read the card? Okay, I have it on my nightstand.
Just say what you thought it should say. That is
(06:33):
what she said, and none of the love said I
love you, which is what the whole happy birthday. Moving on,
let's move to another question. How about this one from John?
Did you know that guys listen to my podcast? Yeah?
They do. I know every I do you listen? Well, yeah,
(06:54):
well I'm slightly invested, yes, but I mean I mean
I listened because you know yours here, what you're doing,
what's going on, and you try to be supportive and
I appreciate that. So from John, this is a very
random guy question, but he says, is Velvet's Edge Kelly
the one that comes on your podcast the same Kelly
that's on very cavalery on E and John To answer
(07:18):
your question, Yes, same Kelly, which Ben loves. Kelly. Yeah,
she's awesome. She's might go to like anytime I need
to figure out like what to get you, like for
a present, like clothing wise, Yeah, like I go to
her or where to go for dinner, Like she knows
every all the cool stuff. Yeah, she knows the school,
cool eating spots in Nashville. And then she has a
lifestyle blog It's Velvet's Edge dot com. And so she
(07:40):
comes on the show from my podcast from time to
time to talk fashion or beauty trends and y'all should
check her out. She has her own podcast as well.
But yes, she is now a reality star because she's
really close friends with Kristen Cavalery who has the reality show,
so she's on the show as the quote friend. Okay,
next question is from Ashley. Any idea when the four
(08:03):
things sweatshirts or pullovers will be available. I'm dying for
one and I already have a list in my phone
for my four things, So Ashley, we do have those
completely in the works. By the time that you're hearing this,
they might be available. You can just check out the
shot forward dot com and see. But these pullovers benefit
Haiti and right now we've partnered with Project Meta Share,
(08:25):
which is a maternity center, and all the money since
it's around Mother's Day like March April May, is going
to be supporting this maternity clinic and it's helping in
the orphan cycle because if we keep these moms and
babies healthy and the moms alive during their pregnancy and
during birth, then boom, they can raise their children. And
it's really awesome and we're super pumped to partner with
(08:47):
Project Meta Share and y'all can check out more will
update stuff on shop a spuas Instagram which I run
that account and if you can go there too to
see a picture of the four Things pullovers. But they're
super cute. So Ben, if you were to make a
four Things pull over as a gift for me, like,
(09:08):
what do you what do you think that? Yeah? If
you were to, like as a husband, if you were
to be like, Okay, I'm gonna go to the shelflor
dot com and I'm gonna order my wife of four
things pull over for Mother's Day? Uh what what would
you put on it? Forwards? For just single words? Yeah,
you know what our four things things look like? One dude,
(09:28):
three boy? My husband is hot? Or I was gonna
say my arms, my husband's arms are bigger. But you
guys just like, well, it doesn't have to be does
have to be an actual word? In Western Well, I
mean we prefer it that way. We like it to be.
Never right, arms are bigger. You can just put it
together in one word. Fun fact about Ben is he
(09:51):
works out his spiceps a lot and he calls them
Harry and Larry, so he will come home from the gym.
So you could put Harry and Larry wait until you
meet Harry and Larry. Wait until you meet that. It's
still not No, Harry and Larry are hot. But that's okay.
You wanted to look around, Harry, Larry, don't look around.
(10:15):
Never mind. You're not in charge of ordering me of
four things. If y'all are curious of what I happen
to put on my new four things pull over. I
put yoga, Netflix, pancakes, and sleep, which I should now
probably change pancakes to waffles since I'm now the proud
owner of a waffle maker, and that's what I'm gonna
make like every weekend for the rest of my life
(10:35):
because they're so good. But yeah, so girls, you can
order them. And then we've got totes that are great
for Mother's Day. They're awesome gifts because when the mom
in your life, whether it's your mom or your friend
that's a mom, or your sister that's mom or a
mother figure, when they get the toe um, it comes
with a card that has a picture of a mom
(10:56):
and a baby and a nurse from Project Medicare in Haiti,
and then it describes that this purchase went towards ending
the orphan cycle, and it's like the gift that gives back,
so it's a win win thing. So there is that
our star necklace. Anything a spat is going towards that. Okay,
they'd be ready for another question with you, Amy, You've
(11:17):
spoken about how your husband is very private while you're
more open and outspoken, and I was wondering how you
find the balance. I'm talkative by nature and tell my
close friends everything, but my boyfriend is extremely private and
doesn't like people knowing too much about things. I want
to respect him, but I don't want to shut people
out too much. Caitlin, what do you think? Do you
(11:39):
have any advice for Caitlin? Because I'm super outspoken and
say everything and you're very private. I mean, do we
have balance? Are we even? Just? Yeah? I mean there's
times that you've given me the opportunity to go. You know,
in the beginning, I would say, hey, please, that's just
for me and you, and then after a while you
got the point You're like, hey, I won't share that,
or just gave me the opportunity to feel like I
(11:59):
could trust you with certain we would say hey, like,
I'm not gonna I'm not going to say this part
of it, but can I tell the story exactly. Okay,
So Caitlin, maybe that's something that you could implement into
your relationship, like start sharing with him before you share
with others what you would like to share, and then
(12:20):
give him an opportunity to say, like, hey, can we
keep this part private to help him build trust in you. Yeah,
and then the longer y'all are together, it'll it'll get easier.
And then I mean, because I know that, but then
you'll know, like down the road, you'll know the types
of things that you wouldn't he wouldn't want you to say,
and I can be more aware of that and respectful
(12:41):
because you do want to respect the other person's privacy
when someone is super private, like if your boyfriend is
anything like Ben, I probably messed up on that a lot,
and I just decided to go ahead and put it
out there no matter what, because I was like, put
it out there, asked for freakingness later, and I'd say,
that's not healthy, So don't do that. I have conversations,
(13:04):
see what's okay to share with your friends or I mean,
you're allowed to have friends and share things too that
you don't have to go with him about. So make
sure you know if you're whoever you're telling that you
trust them, Like, if it's stuff you really need to
confide in your friends about and get advice and talk
to you about, that doesn't necessarily you don't need your
boyfriend's permission to say, like, then feel free to talk
(13:24):
to them, but just know, like, hey, this is a
private conversation between you and me. I'd like to keep
other people out of it, but here's the situation. Blah
blah blah. I don't know if that helps. I got
(13:53):
another question. This one is from Kara, and she's asking,
there's so many Kara everywhere now, Like our dog is Cara,
and then our new nanny slash family assistant is Kara.
Which isn't that weird? I talked about it on last
week's podcast. It's weird that we have someone in our
(14:14):
life like that. It's weird for us because we never
thought we would have that, you know, help like that.
And it still is weird for us to say. But
we work the weirdest hours known to man, Like I
do a morning show sometimes, been been travels a lot
for work. So if you leave the house or if
you're gone, you're out of town, and then I have
to leave the house super early, like we have to
(14:35):
have when some come in and like the third team.
What I think of I don't think of her as
like a nanny, like like somebody that works for us.
I just think of somebody like she's a third She
allows kids and everything going. She allows us to keep
our jobs and keep the house running, and we all
pitch in like we all do everything. It was crazy too,
(14:58):
is she's kind of like, I'm just not used to
working for families like that. A lot of times I've
gone in and I just kind of do it all
and we're like, you're right. We're like, no, we're a team.
We all three tackle everything, whether it's everybody, you name it,
we all row. That's a good way to put it.
So anyway, Kara, this is another Kara. Just hear that
name all the time. Now. Um, she's asking what kind
(15:19):
of jeans I wear? And I have been obsessed lately
with Made Well jeanes, which been you went shopping with
me and Made Well the other day? Didn't you like
those genes that I got? Was this so fun? But
the jeans look good? Right? You know where they mess
up on those things is they don't ever put like
a guy section, Like if you put like a coffee
(15:40):
pot in the corner with a nice lounge chair and ESPN,
we'd hang out all day. But they don't. What Okay, Well,
what the other suggestions you have for multimillion dollar companies?
Would you like to have the husband encouraged to go
with you and stay there and give you ideas? Put
put the lounge near the changing room so they can
(16:02):
sit there, watch coffee, have a mirror you walk out,
watch coffee, drink coffee, watch ESPN, and then you can
look in the river and go, yeah, it looks good
and keep hanging out. Yeah. Because I was trying on
jeans and then I opened up the curtain, I couldn't
find you at the display case in the front. Okay,
So I'm just gonna say, made Well has this these
(16:22):
ten inch high rise button front jeans And they're so cute.
I'm obsessed, and it made Well. If you take a
pair of jeans, if you take in a pair of
old jeans and you're buying a pair of jeans, they
will give you for your recycled jeans, will give you
twenty dollars back, So you get twenty dollars off this
(16:44):
isn't a commercial. By the way, I just learned this,
like I couldn't believe it. I didn't have old jeans
with me, but I ended up buying two pairs. And
what did the girls say? She said, keep your receipt
and within a week, if you bring in your old
pair of jeans and recycled them with us, we'll refund you.
Prepare well. Soon I have time to get back to
the mall. I'll get on that. Might have to ask
you or Carrot. We're all rowers here. You could take
(17:06):
them back. Row row yourself to the mall. They don't
have coffee. I told you they had a chair coffee,
some sports in the corner. I'd hang out, creepy, hang
out too long. But yeah, but if you're your significant other,
it's okay to be there. Okay, I got one last question. Okay,
this one is from Hannah, and she said, hey me.
(17:27):
First of all, gig um girl, I'm an aggie too. Whoop.
I'm like such a two per cent aggie, which two
per center means I'm not really involved in all the
whooping and the traditions. But I still love that I'm
an aggie. I just listened to your fifth thing today,
and I completely relate with your husband's struggle with getting
out of the Air Force. I spent ten years in
(17:47):
the Marine Corps and getting out was the hardest thing
I've ever done. Even though I wanted to and was
ready to, I didn't realize how much of my identity
was attached to being a marine. It affected every aspect
of my life, my ntual health, emotional health, and most importantly,
it affected my marriage. My husband and I hit our
lowest point during that time. My husband has been serving
for eighteen years now and he will be retiring in
(18:10):
the next few years. This is the only life he's
known since he was seventeen. I think it'd be such
a great thing to add to one of your things
to talk about. I really enjoyed when your husband comes
on with you. Love your podcast, Love you, and thanks
for being so open and honest. Again, that was from Hannah,
So thanks Hannah for the email and definitely putting bit
on the spot with this one. And I should have
let him know it was coming. But I feel like
(18:32):
you didn't retire like she's talking about how she got
out and it was hard, and you got out it
was hard for you. That was probably a low point
in our marriage as well, so we can relate to that.
And then you know, you didn't go to retirement, but
you always thought you would be. But your dad is
a retired Air Force colonel, and I mean when he
got out, that was pretty crazy, right for you and
(18:55):
your family and your mom and everything, the whole family. Everything.
I mean, that's all I'd ever own, and that's all
my dad ever wanted to do was be a pilot.
And then I grew up in the air I was
born at an Air Force base, grew up in the
Air Force, wanted to be in the Air Force. Like yeah,
I mean, it was just our entire culture, I guess,
and both of y'all went through that. But him, I mean,
(19:15):
it took him while to find the right job once
he got out, and like everything was just very different.
I know that. It's why I really even finding the
right job. It was finding the right aspect of the
job that he could attach himself to. That's the difference,
because you're never going to find the same job and
you're never going to find the same environment. It's finding
the things that you got pleasure in in the military
(19:36):
or in the Air Force that you can associate with
your civilian career, right, that's a that's the when people
are around military people, they don't understand the term civilian,
which I would be a civilian. I don't work in
the military, and you'll just have a certain culture. You're
used to being around certain types of people. I mean,
you get out and you no longer have those people,
and that that culture. It's different. I mean we use acronyms,
(20:01):
we talk. You know, I put my date different than
people put their dates. When I sign my name. They
still annoys you, like, let's do an example, Okay, let
me talk about things. Okay, so I'll be I'll be like, well,
when are we doing that? And you'll be like, oh,
nineteen June, And I'm like, you mean June nine, And
he'd be like, no, We're gonna do it on nineteen
June at eight hundred. Oh, don't make it ridiculous. I
(20:24):
don't say. We don't say, but I do say the day,
than the date, than the year, and most people say
or the day of the month a year, and most
people say month, day year. I know, civilians, that's what
we say. When you use the word prior, is that
very military because you say prior a lot you say
(20:44):
prior to, and I'm like, I don't really use the
word prior. I think it's called English proper grammar, Honey.
Like I just figure that was like air for error,
pilot or vehicle. Like I just say car, and you're
like vehicle because it could be there's all types of vehicle,
(21:06):
because it is actually a car, Is a truck? Is
it an suv? We'll just say vehicle. Get to the point,
and that's proper English. But I don't know the problem is,
I don't know that we're going to be of any
help to Hannah. Hannah, we're still figuring it out. But
I know that it is going to be difficult when
your husband retires, for sure, and since you've gone through it,
(21:27):
you know how to be there for him, which I
didn't know how to be there for Ben. And I
don't think you even knew how hard it was going
to hit you. Yeah, I say, just don't take it light.
I mean, if I would just say anything, just don't
take it lightly, um, and don't expect like everybody thinks that,
all right, we get out of military, we're gonna into
in the real world. Well, there is no everything is
the real world. Military is the real world. You know,
(21:47):
civilian world is a real world. Just find what you
like doing in the military and take those aspects and
apply them just to a different aspect in the civilian world. Yeah,
to a different job, right. So, like for my dad,
it was helping people and training people and bringing up people.
So when he got out of you know, the Air
(22:07):
Force and he got into fast food industry, helping people
become better at their business and at their job or
being you know, just better in general. He liked cultivating people, um,
and he was able to do that. He worked for
Taco About and he loved that. He was ended up
vice president of operations and was able to do that
(22:29):
with so many young people that were working at the stores.
And that's what he loved to do. And so but
I mean, if you told him, you know, from the beginning,
when he's arguing with a fifteen year old kid about
you know, there's no free refills, Like he's like, I
just retired twenty years five years, Like, that's there's no
way that this works, right, He like, I can't. He
(22:51):
couldn't put himself in that place. He had to find
what he found was important and what he what his
enjoyment was. And so again it's just not going to
look the same aim but look for what you liked
in the military and find that because it's it's not
one for one. Yeah, okay, well there you go, and
that's our That concludes I guess our Q and a
(23:12):
fifth thing on Tuesdays and then we've got a full
four Things episode coming up this week on Thursday, which
Hunter I've got. I did my interview with the indiagram
dude and I'm going to share it on Thursday, which
Ben did his Indiogram. We had a meeting with Hunter
sort of like marriage counseling in a way, because we
learned about each other's So I'm a three and Ben
(23:37):
is a nine, and we had lines. We have a
lot that we need to study up on, but we
have lines that connect us, which is a good thing.
What he said, I guess sort of. Yeah, three sixes
and nines are connected. I mean, if people don't know
anything about the Instagram right now, they're they're confused. But
Hontera will totally talk about that more. But if you
(23:57):
are excited about that episode, and maybe you've heard about
the integram and you're like, well, what is this, we'll start,
i mean start reading up on it so that way
you can feel a little bit more informed when Hunter's talking,
and maybe you can try to figure out your number.
And I'll have to have him come back on our interview.
Let's kind of focused around what we had talked about
in our numbers, and then I'll have to have him
(24:19):
come back and maybe do one through nine and really
kind of you know how he's said it verbally to us.
That would be interesting. So that is coming up on Thursday,
along with three other things. So all right, Well, hope
everyone has a good day. Say bye bye.
Okay, we are here with another Tuesday Q and A.
It's the fifth Thing. I'm Amy Brown, host of Four
Things with Amy Brown. That's my podcast. It's every Thursday,
and then from that the four things that we talk about.
We've got an email address, Four Things with Amy Brown
at gmail dot com, and we check questions and if
you've got on please send home because they may end
(00:22):
up on this Q and A episode or it may
end up as one of the things in the actual
the actual episode on Thursday. Um, if it's like it
can be like a thing thing. But I've got my
husband here so a little treat. He was up here
at the studio doing some other stuff, so I brought
him in because I felt like I was getting a
lot of questions that pertain to you, Bibe, so I
(00:44):
brought you in. Well, and I have not told him
about the questions before here. I mean, that's my thing,
so I can't turn them down, no veto, no nothing.
I guess you can when I read the question if
you want to say I don't really want to go there,
and then you just say I'm not ready to talk
about that and we'll move on. But the since my
husband of twelve years been hello, and he is awesome.
(01:05):
Got me a waffle maker this weekend. How'd that go?
It went pretty good. I was challenging with the mix.
It's easier to buy the waffle maker than make the waffles. Yeah,
so I went to yoga. So my birthday is next
week and you're going to be gone. So you decided to,
you know, get the kids and make waffles. That would
be a good family thing. Sent me to yoga, which,
(01:26):
by the by the way, when I went to yoga,
I realized that I had not been there since last June.
So it's March. Oh, mid March, and yeah. When I
got walked in, they were like hey, and I was like,
just out of curiosity, when's the last time I took
a class? And she looked up in the computer and
she was like June. So anyway, that was real fun
(01:47):
being able to actually go to a class. This last
year us becoming parents, Like, our schedules have just changed
quite a bit. And I do really all of my
working out at home. When you say, yeah, pretty much,
especially yoga. I do. Came outside and like, wait right,
so I walk still kind of at the house, um
walk the dog, I do yoga. I train with Aaron
(02:08):
at the house, do Tracy Anderson at the house. And
if I do yoga, I do yoga with Adrian on YouTube.
So much fun. You've done that one? Yes, Oh, now
you're in denial. You don't want anything. You do yoga
on YouTube at home? No, I don't want admit that.
Why did you even make me do that? So anyway,
(02:29):
I go to yoga and I come back and then
and the kids are making waffles. But there was some
an ingredient mix up and there was a whole mishap.
So anyway, we finally got it figured out and we
made waffles and they were so awesome, weren't they? Yeah,
they were really really good. It made me want to
make waffles all the time. Yeah, I thought they came
(02:51):
out great. I think we need to work a little
bit more on like speeding up the process. It took
too long, but well that's because you mixed together the
wrong ingredients. So then we had to start completely over.
When I walked in from yoga, you had this basically
like ball of play do which would not have gone
into the waffle maker. So we had to completely start over.
(03:13):
And what you don't know is I'd already added like
a whole extra like cup of milk to it to
like try to loosen it up, because I was I
was trying to break it down. I was about to
add water before you came in. But yeah, that's so.
That was super sweet and fun and a fun time
with the kids. And I feel like anybody that comes
to stay with us now it'll be like our thing,
waf time. Wake up. It's waffle time time at the Browns.
(03:43):
So I've got some questions that will dive into and
you can just join in on me, whether they have
you in them or not. Do you want to start
with one that has you in it? Let's do that.
Let's let's warm you up. Hey, Amy, First, I'd like
to say that I really enjoy your husband being on
your podcast. You to balance each other well being that
(04:03):
love is a very important word to your husband, which
if you haven't listened to his our episode on the
Four Things podcast where he talks about love, go listen
to that. She said, My question is when did he
first say I love you to your kids? Was it
before they officially were your kids, after they were your kids,
when you were all back in America. I'm also curious
(04:24):
with his feelings on Stashira and not saying I love
you yet, Kristen, So, do you know the first time
you said I love you to them? Yeah, once we
were back in America. America. You didn't say it in Haiti.
I didn't say it in Haiti, and I didn't say
it really when it was I was waiting for it
to be final. Um. But at the same point, you know,
(04:44):
when it became final was like at four o'clock to
day we got on a plane to leave, so it
was kind of you know that today it was kind
of crazy, and then it was just all craziness for
like twenty four hours getting home and everybody coming over.
So it probably wasn't until probably two or three days
into it, when we're put on the bed that like, hey,
I haven't I don't think I've said I love you.
You know, Hey, good night, I love you. So that's
(05:06):
how you didn't say, I don't think I've said this
to you, And not that they myself understood. Their English
was still a little off back then. But and then
Stusshira has she said I love you to you. Okay,
she hasn't really verbally said it to me, but she
did actually finally, a couple of weeks ago, give me
(05:28):
that card that she made in church that said I
love my mom. And then she gave it to me
and I was like what And then I freaked out
and I asked her, like, you really love me? Over
the top? I went way over the top. It was embarrassing. Well,
I felt that. I was like, you never, She's never
gonna say it again. Yes, she will think, Yeah, she's
fine now. I mean she hasn't said it, but she
said a lot of sense. How many times she renew
(05:49):
a card since she gave me the birthday card that
we opened the waffles. No, but she said, I don't
have it here with me. Maybe I don't know. I
need to go see if you put love saying. She
did say in the card. It was really sweet, she said, mom,
or I love that you are smart and hard working
(06:12):
or something and that you're cool. Maybe No, I think
you're paraphrasing. What did she say? I think you're actually
ad living, not paraphrasing. She said, you were cool. Did
you read the card? Okay, I have it on my nightstand.
Just say what you thought it should say. That is
(06:33):
what she said, and none of the love said I
love you, which is what the whole happy birthday. Moving on,
let's move to another question. How about this one from John?
Did you know that guys listen to my podcast? Yeah?
They do. I know every I do you listen? Well, yeah,
(06:54):
well I'm slightly invested, yes, but I mean I mean
I listened because you know yours here, what you're doing,
what's going on, and you try to be supportive and
I appreciate that. So from John, this is a very
random guy question, but he says, is Velvet's Edge Kelly
the one that comes on your podcast the same Kelly
that's on very cavalery on E and John To answer
(07:18):
your question, Yes, same Kelly, which Ben loves. Kelly. Yeah,
she's awesome. She's might go to like anytime I need
to figure out like what to get you, like for
a present, like clothing wise, Yeah, like I go to
her or where to go for dinner, Like she knows
every all the cool stuff. Yeah, she knows the school,
cool eating spots in Nashville. And then she has a
lifestyle blog It's Velvet's Edge dot com. And so she
(07:40):
comes on the show from my podcast from time to
time to talk fashion or beauty trends and y'all should
check her out. She has her own podcast as well.
But yes, she is now a reality star because she's
really close friends with Kristen Cavalery who has the reality show,
so she's on the show as the quote friend. Okay,
next question is from Ashley. Any idea when the four
(08:03):
things sweatshirts or pullovers will be available. I'm dying for
one and I already have a list in my phone
for my four things, So Ashley, we do have those
completely in the works. By the time that you're hearing this,
they might be available. You can just check out the
shot forward dot com and see. But these pullovers benefit
Haiti and right now we've partnered with Project Meta Share,
(08:25):
which is a maternity center, and all the money since
it's around Mother's Day like March April May, is going
to be supporting this maternity clinic and it's helping in
the orphan cycle because if we keep these moms and
babies healthy and the moms alive during their pregnancy and
during birth, then boom, they can raise their children. And
it's really awesome and we're super pumped to partner with
(08:47):
Project Meta Share and y'all can check out more will
update stuff on shop a spuas Instagram which I run
that account and if you can go there too to
see a picture of the four Things pullovers. But they're
super cute. So Ben, if you were to make a
four Things pull over as a gift for me, like,
(09:08):
what do you what do you think that? Yeah? If
you were to, like as a husband, if you were
to be like, Okay, I'm gonna go to the shelflor
dot com and I'm gonna order my wife of four
things pull over for Mother's Day? Uh what what would
you put on it? Forwards? For just single words? Yeah,
you know what our four things things look like? One dude,
(09:28):
three boy? My husband is hot? Or I was gonna
say my arms, my husband's arms are bigger. But you
guys just like, well, it doesn't have to be does
have to be an actual word? In Western Well, I
mean we prefer it that way. We like it to be.
Never right, arms are bigger. You can just put it
together in one word. Fun fact about Ben is he
(09:51):
works out his spiceps a lot and he calls them
Harry and Larry, so he will come home from the gym.
So you could put Harry and Larry wait until you
meet Harry and Larry. Wait until you meet that. It's
still not No, Harry and Larry are hot. But that's okay.
You wanted to look around, Harry, Larry, don't look around.
(10:15):
Never mind. You're not in charge of ordering me of
four things. If y'all are curious of what I happen
to put on my new four things pull over. I
put yoga, Netflix, pancakes, and sleep, which I should now
probably change pancakes to waffles since I'm now the proud
owner of a waffle maker, and that's what I'm gonna
make like every weekend for the rest of my life
(10:35):
because they're so good. But yeah, so girls, you can
order them. And then we've got totes that are great
for Mother's Day. They're awesome gifts because when the mom
in your life, whether it's your mom or your friend
that's a mom, or your sister that's mom or a
mother figure, when they get the toe um, it comes
with a card that has a picture of a mom
(10:56):
and a baby and a nurse from Project Medicare in Haiti,
and then it describes that this purchase went towards ending
the orphan cycle, and it's like the gift that gives back,
so it's a win win thing. So there is that
our star necklace. Anything a spat is going towards that. Okay,
they'd be ready for another question with you, Amy, You've
(11:17):
spoken about how your husband is very private while you're
more open and outspoken, and I was wondering how you
find the balance. I'm talkative by nature and tell my
close friends everything, but my boyfriend is extremely private and
doesn't like people knowing too much about things. I want
to respect him, but I don't want to shut people
out too much. Caitlin, what do you think? Do you
(11:39):
have any advice for Caitlin? Because I'm super outspoken and
say everything and you're very private. I mean, do we
have balance? Are we even? Just? Yeah? I mean there's
times that you've given me the opportunity to go. You know,
in the beginning, I would say, hey, please, that's just
for me and you, and then after a while you
got the point You're like, hey, I won't share that,
or just gave me the opportunity to feel like I
(11:59):
could trust you with certain we would say hey, like,
I'm not gonna I'm not going to say this part
of it, but can I tell the story exactly. Okay,
So Caitlin, maybe that's something that you could implement into
your relationship, like start sharing with him before you share
with others what you would like to share, and then
(12:20):
give him an opportunity to say, like, hey, can we
keep this part private to help him build trust in you. Yeah,
and then the longer y'all are together, it'll it'll get easier.
And then I mean, because I know that, but then
you'll know, like down the road, you'll know the types
of things that you wouldn't he wouldn't want you to say,
and I can be more aware of that and respectful
(12:41):
because you do want to respect the other person's privacy
when someone is super private, like if your boyfriend is
anything like Ben, I probably messed up on that a lot,
and I just decided to go ahead and put it
out there no matter what, because I was like, put
it out there, asked for freakingness later, and I'd say,
that's not healthy, So don't do that. I have conversations,
(13:04):
see what's okay to share with your friends or I mean,
you're allowed to have friends and share things too that
you don't have to go with him about. So make
sure you know if you're whoever you're telling that you
trust them, Like, if it's stuff you really need to
confide in your friends about and get advice and talk
to you about, that doesn't necessarily you don't need your
boyfriend's permission to say, like, then feel free to talk
(13:24):
to them, but just know, like, hey, this is a
private conversation between you and me. I'd like to keep
other people out of it, but here's the situation. Blah
blah blah. I don't know if that helps. I got
(13:53):
another question. This one is from Kara, and she's asking,
there's so many Kara everywhere now, Like our dog is Cara,
and then our new nanny slash family assistant is Kara.
Which isn't that weird? I talked about it on last
week's podcast. It's weird that we have someone in our
(14:14):
life like that. It's weird for us because we never
thought we would have that, you know, help like that.
And it still is weird for us to say. But
we work the weirdest hours known to man, Like I
do a morning show sometimes, been been travels a lot
for work. So if you leave the house or if
you're gone, you're out of town, and then I have
to leave the house super early, like we have to
(14:35):
have when some come in and like the third team.
What I think of I don't think of her as
like a nanny, like like somebody that works for us.
I just think of somebody like she's a third She
allows kids and everything going. She allows us to keep
our jobs and keep the house running, and we all
pitch in like we all do everything. It was crazy too,
(14:58):
is she's kind of like, I'm just not used to
working for families like that. A lot of times I've
gone in and I just kind of do it all
and we're like, you're right. We're like, no, we're a team.
We all three tackle everything, whether it's everybody, you name it,
we all row. That's a good way to put it.
So anyway, Kara, this is another Kara. Just hear that
name all the time. Now. Um, she's asking what kind
(15:19):
of jeans I wear? And I have been obsessed lately
with Made Well jeanes, which been you went shopping with
me and Made Well the other day? Didn't you like
those genes that I got? Was this so fun? But
the jeans look good? Right? You know where they mess
up on those things is they don't ever put like
a guy section, Like if you put like a coffee
(15:40):
pot in the corner with a nice lounge chair and ESPN,
we'd hang out all day. But they don't. What Okay, Well,
what the other suggestions you have for multimillion dollar companies?
Would you like to have the husband encouraged to go
with you and stay there and give you ideas? Put
put the lounge near the changing room so they can
(16:02):
sit there, watch coffee, have a mirror you walk out,
watch coffee, drink coffee, watch ESPN, and then you can
look in the river and go, yeah, it looks good
and keep hanging out. Yeah. Because I was trying on
jeans and then I opened up the curtain, I couldn't
find you at the display case in the front. Okay,
So I'm just gonna say, made Well has this these
(16:22):
ten inch high rise button front jeans And they're so cute.
I'm obsessed, and it made Well. If you take a
pair of jeans, if you take in a pair of
old jeans and you're buying a pair of jeans, they
will give you for your recycled jeans, will give you
twenty dollars back, So you get twenty dollars off this
(16:44):
isn't a commercial. By the way, I just learned this,
like I couldn't believe it. I didn't have old jeans
with me, but I ended up buying two pairs. And
what did the girls say? She said, keep your receipt
and within a week, if you bring in your old
pair of jeans and recycled them with us, we'll refund you.
Prepare well. Soon I have time to get back to
the mall. I'll get on that. Might have to ask
you or Carrot. We're all rowers here. You could take
(17:06):
them back. Row row yourself to the mall. They don't
have coffee. I told you they had a chair coffee,
some sports in the corner. I'd hang out, creepy, hang
out too long. But yeah, but if you're your significant other,
it's okay to be there. Okay, I got one last question. Okay,
this one is from Hannah, and she said, hey me.
(17:27):
First of all, gig um girl, I'm an aggie too. Whoop.
I'm like such a two per cent aggie, which two
per center means I'm not really involved in all the
whooping and the traditions. But I still love that I'm
an aggie. I just listened to your fifth thing today,
and I completely relate with your husband's struggle with getting
out of the Air Force. I spent ten years in
(17:47):
the Marine Corps and getting out was the hardest thing
I've ever done. Even though I wanted to and was
ready to, I didn't realize how much of my identity
was attached to being a marine. It affected every aspect
of my life, my ntual health, emotional health, and most importantly,
it affected my marriage. My husband and I hit our
lowest point during that time. My husband has been serving
for eighteen years now and he will be retiring in
(18:10):
the next few years. This is the only life he's
known since he was seventeen. I think it'd be such
a great thing to add to one of your things
to talk about. I really enjoyed when your husband comes
on with you. Love your podcast, Love you, and thanks
for being so open and honest. Again, that was from Hannah,
So thanks Hannah for the email and definitely putting bit
on the spot with this one. And I should have
let him know it was coming. But I feel like
(18:32):
you didn't retire like she's talking about how she got
out and it was hard, and you got out it
was hard for you. That was probably a low point
in our marriage as well, so we can relate to that.
And then you know, you didn't go to retirement, but
you always thought you would be. But your dad is
a retired Air Force colonel, and I mean when he
got out, that was pretty crazy, right for you and
(18:55):
your family and your mom and everything, the whole family. Everything.
I mean, that's all I'd ever own, and that's all
my dad ever wanted to do was be a pilot.
And then I grew up in the air I was
born at an Air Force base, grew up in the
Air Force, wanted to be in the Air Force. Like yeah,
I mean, it was just our entire culture, I guess,
and both of y'all went through that. But him, I mean,
(19:15):
it took him while to find the right job once
he got out, and like everything was just very different.
I know that. It's why I really even finding the
right job. It was finding the right aspect of the
job that he could attach himself to. That's the difference,
because you're never going to find the same job and
you're never going to find the same environment. It's finding
the things that you got pleasure in in the military
(19:36):
or in the Air Force that you can associate with
your civilian career, right, that's a that's the when people
are around military people, they don't understand the term civilian,
which I would be a civilian. I don't work in
the military, and you'll just have a certain culture. You're
used to being around certain types of people. I mean,
you get out and you no longer have those people,
and that that culture. It's different. I mean we use acronyms,
(20:01):
we talk. You know, I put my date different than
people put their dates. When I sign my name. They
still annoys you, like, let's do an example, Okay, let
me talk about things. Okay, so I'll be I'll be like, well,
when are we doing that? And you'll be like, oh,
nineteen June, And I'm like, you mean June nine, And
he'd be like, no, We're gonna do it on nineteen
June at eight hundred. Oh, don't make it ridiculous. I
(20:24):
don't say. We don't say, but I do say the day,
than the date, than the year, and most people say
or the day of the month a year, and most
people say month, day year. I know, civilians, that's what
we say. When you use the word prior, is that
very military because you say prior a lot you say
(20:44):
prior to, and I'm like, I don't really use the
word prior. I think it's called English proper grammar, Honey.
Like I just figure that was like air for error,
pilot or vehicle. Like I just say car, and you're
like vehicle because it could be there's all types of vehicle,
(21:06):
because it is actually a car, Is a truck? Is
it an suv? We'll just say vehicle. Get to the point,
and that's proper English. But I don't know the problem is,
I don't know that we're going to be of any
help to Hannah. Hannah, we're still figuring it out. But
I know that it is going to be difficult when
your husband retires, for sure, and since you've gone through it,
(21:27):
you know how to be there for him, which I
didn't know how to be there for Ben. And I
don't think you even knew how hard it was going
to hit you. Yeah, I say, just don't take it light.
I mean, if I would just say anything, just don't
take it lightly, um, and don't expect like everybody thinks that,
all right, we get out of military, we're gonna into
in the real world. Well, there is no everything is
the real world. Military is the real world. You know,
(21:47):
civilian world is a real world. Just find what you
like doing in the military and take those aspects and
apply them just to a different aspect in the civilian world. Yeah,
to a different job, right. So, like for my dad,
it was helping people and training people and bringing up people.
So when he got out of you know, the Air
(22:07):
Force and he got into fast food industry, helping people
become better at their business and at their job or
being you know, just better in general. He liked cultivating people, um,
and he was able to do that. He worked for
Taco About and he loved that. He was ended up
vice president of operations and was able to do that
(22:29):
with so many young people that were working at the stores.
And that's what he loved to do. And so but
I mean, if you told him, you know, from the beginning,
when he's arguing with a fifteen year old kid about
you know, there's no free refills, Like he's like, I
just retired twenty years five years, Like, that's there's no
way that this works, right, He like, I can't. He
(22:51):
couldn't put himself in that place. He had to find
what he found was important and what he what his
enjoyment was. And so again it's just not going to
look the same aim but look for what you liked
in the military and find that because it's it's not
one for one. Yeah, okay, well there you go, and
that's our That concludes I guess our Q and a
(23:12):
fifth thing on Tuesdays and then we've got a full
four Things episode coming up this week on Thursday, which
Hunter I've got. I did my interview with the indiagram
dude and I'm going to share it on Thursday, which
Ben did his Indiogram. We had a meeting with Hunter
sort of like marriage counseling in a way, because we
learned about each other's So I'm a three and Ben
(23:37):
is a nine, and we had lines. We have a
lot that we need to study up on, but we
have lines that connect us, which is a good thing.
What he said, I guess sort of. Yeah, three sixes
and nines are connected. I mean, if people don't know
anything about the Instagram right now, they're they're confused. But
Hontera will totally talk about that more. But if you
(23:57):
are excited about that episode, and maybe you've heard about
the integram and you're like, well, what is this, we'll start,
i mean start reading up on it so that way
you can feel a little bit more informed when Hunter's talking,
and maybe you can try to figure out your number.
And I'll have to have him come back on our interview.
Let's kind of focused around what we had talked about
in our numbers, and then I'll have to have him
(24:19):
come back and maybe do one through nine and really
kind of you know how he's said it verbally to us.
That would be interesting. So that is coming up on Thursday,
along with three other things. So all right, Well, hope
everyone has a good day. Say bye bye.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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