Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, cats up thing, little food for yourself life saying,
oh it's pretty bad. Hey, it's pretty beautiful, beautiful for
that for a little more, it's exciting, said he you're kicking with.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Four with Amy Brown, Happy Thursday, four Things. Amy here,
and I'm Kat. No, this is not the fifth Thing.
Kat is joining for four Things this week, So welcome Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Was it different? Happy Thursday four Things?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah, it didn't feel like the right queue, So I
hope that I hit it right.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
You did If you don't listen to the Fifth Thing,
it's the bonus episode of this podcast that loads on Tuesdays,
and Kat is my co host over there, and we
start every episode with Happy Tuesday, Welcome to the Fifth Thing.
I'm Amy and I'm Kat, And so today was just
a little different different. But speaking of the Fifth Thing,
I wanted to share an email that we got about
this week's Fifth Thing episode that went up two days ago.
(01:09):
Suzanne and Western Massachusetts sent this, Oh my gosh, you
and Kat had me cracking up today. I drive a
FedEx truck and every time I got out to deliver,
I'd be laughing aloud. People must be like, who is
she talking to in there? Thanks for keeping me company.
And then she also threw this in that she listened
(01:30):
to Jamie kern Lima's podcast interview with Robin Roberts and
she wanted to let me know about it so that
I would listen, because you know, I love me some
Robin Roberts. She signed it, thanks for the laughter and relatability, Suzanne,
Western Massachusetts, originally from Adirondacks. Well that was sweet, I know,
and I love that she was busted laughing aloud because
(01:52):
we were laughing a lot, and I didn't know if
that was going to translate or if we were delirious
or just you know, in our own little world because
so much was happening on Tuesday that was causing us
to laugh.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
We're really funny.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
So thank you Suzanne for sharing that and letting us
know that you enjoyed it. And shout out to Houston
because lately he's been putting little Easter eggs in the episodes.
They're mostly at the end, but they're funny, and I
feel like it's cute that he kind of saved some
of our outtakes and that is throwing them in for entertainment.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
But also shout out to him for being able to
condense it to where it does make sense. He's skilled.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Well, the reason it's chaotic is because of the construction
at my house and the noises and then my dog.
And yes, eventually, I feel like we'll get back into
a groove. At my old house, we had a studio
and we would go up in there and we weren't disrupted.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
We weren't terrupted. Yeah, there we go. Disrupted would work, but.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
We weren't interrupted because by the disruption.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Correct.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
So we don't have that anymore. So we're rolling with
it today. We're recording at Cat's office and she has
this feelings pillow which is really cool and I felt
like closing my eyes and like picking one. So like,
I'm going to do it right now and just see
where it lands. Okay, what I land on? Oh you
are feeling awful, but I'm really not.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
We need to hold on. Let's just that transition is
pretty great. Last time you did ashamed? Okay, try it again.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Ooh intimate?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh okay, feeling intimate.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
We'll talk more about that on the Cat's You Need
Therapy Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Picked one for you to land on on Monday?
Speaker 2 (03:30):
You want to pick one real quick?
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Well, now, I'm feeling awful.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Oh gosh, the feeling. This is not a fun game.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yakay, next, I want the next game.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Well, we should make it a thing where whatever it
lands on, you have to say something that's awful.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Okay, it's awful that you didn't bring me chewies to
the office today when you brought yourself lunch.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Okay, well the only reason why I didn't is you
said you had just made yourself a chicken wrap at home. Yeah, okay,
so nice. But I'm gonna leave you the case o
in chips.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Okay, well, I'd rather have the salsa.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Okay, I'll leave you the salsa too. Which, speaking of food,
one of the things we're going to get into is
weird food combos that sound disgusting but they're actually amazing,
so you may want to try them. And we're going
to go over how to spot someone with no soul
and signs that he likes you more than just a friend,
and then also what a perfect relationship looks like, which
(04:24):
that's what we'll start with. So let's get into the
first thing now. First, all right, relationships, they're all very different,
but most of us want our relationships to be good
and good is loving, healthy, fun, kind, all the things.
So how do you know if your relationship is truly
(04:44):
a good one? And I saw Newsweek put this whole
thing out where they asked chat gpt so AI to
define a perfect romantic relationship, and they gave the AI
tool a prompt. You are a relationship expert, define a
perfect romantic relationship in five qualities. And these are the
five qualities that AI spit out. And I feel like
(05:05):
a I knows what's up. It knows everything pretty much. Shoot,
I'm gonna be out of a job. The first thing
is mutual respect. This means that both people value and
honor the other person's boundaries, individuality, and opinions. Each partner
listens to each other, appreciates differences and shows consideration and
their actions and words. And I feel like that's pretty
(05:28):
spot on. But oftentimes this is one where you get
tripped up, like one partner doesn't feel seen or heard.
Like I was just talking to a friend that is
not feeling heard by her husband at all whatsoever. And
I really felt for her because I could I could
almost like feel it in her nervous system. And I've
been in that situation before, and so I just listened
(05:49):
and hopefully it'll iron itself out. But it's just one
of those things when you're an outsider looking in, like
you can see so clearly that like, oh, because the
nervous system is over here, there's not rational thinking on
either side, so then you can't see clearly. You know.
We were talking before we hit record. We were in
your I guess what do you call it? Coworker's office.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I would call her a colleague, but that seems too fancy,
so I would just say friend, okay, but it's a colleague. Yeah,
I like that sounds very businesswoman like, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
So we were in her office and we were all talking,
and I saw Vivian put on Instagram. She's rich bff
on Instagram. It's her handle. She's your Wall Street girly
girl that gives you money, all the money tips. And
she recently got married. And I guess she was maybe
doing somebody else's podcast, but it was at interview clip
of her talking about how men want these traditional wives,
(06:43):
and she's like, Okay, if you want your traditional wife,
then you better be a traditional husband, which would mean
back in the day when it was traditional in that way,
the husband brought home enough money so that the wife
could stay home and do all all of that stuff.
So she's like a lot of men just had this
(07:04):
idea from conditioning mostly, but they grew up thinking like, oh,
I want this traditional wife. I want this traditional wife.
But then we went need to pay all these bills
and do things. So she also needs to go to work,
but come home and be the traditional wife and do
all the other traditional wife things.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
You know, I had a AHA moment was Monday when
I went was at your house. You know how I
told you Patrick was going grocery shopping. The reason that
came about is usually I do the grocery shopping because
my job is generally more flexible. Not like I enjoy
grocery shopping, but that day I had a lot of
stuff to do and that was usually the day that
I go. And I was laying my day out to
(07:37):
him and I was like, I'm gonna do this, and
I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, and he
looked at me. He was like, you don't have time
to do all of that. And I said, well, then
I'll go grocery shopping after work, and he goes, I
can go grocery shopping today after work, and I just
was sitting there looking at him, like, yeah, you can't
go grocery shopping, Like why did I not think just
to ask you for help? But in my head, I
(07:59):
think I am the wife, so now I'm supposed to
shop for our family. But we don't have a traditional
marriage like that. But it's so ingrained. So I wonder if,
like we went through all of the things that are
ingrained in us that we don't really have to do
that way, what would happen. But it was so helpful
for him to call that out and say I could
go grocery shopping. And I still was like, Oh, I
feel like I'm asking a lot of you. We both
(08:20):
have full time jobs.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I love the mutual respect that was taken there, like
he was listening to you and then taking action, which
leads to the second thing that Ai came up with,
which was effective communication. And now you're going to be
able to effectively communicate in the future now that you know, like, oh,
I don't have to put myself in this box of
like I'm the one that goes to the grocery store.
So AI said, it's essential to any healthy relationship. It
(08:45):
defines this as both partners being open, honest, and empathetic
when communicating with each other, which means they actively listen,
express their feelings and needs clearly, and work through conflicts
constructively unless horror system is high, and.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Then you do your breath work, and then you come back,
and then you do it again.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Trust and reliability come in at third the way the
AI tool sees it. This means each partner is dependable,
keeps their promises, and it is transparent, fostering a sense
of security and confidence in the relationship.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Can I date AI? You can say, AI, create me
a husband.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
The next thing is shared values and goals. Having your
core values and life goals align is important, and according
to AI, that shared vision provides a sense of unity
and purpose and a couple's journey together. Did you grow
up thinking? Don't be unequally yolked? Unequally yoked?
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Is it yolked? Yoked?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yo? Unequally yoked?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Say hoke?
Speaker 2 (10:01):
I understand what you're trying to get me to say,
but it is spelled y o l K yolk.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Well, a lot of things are spelled with silent letters.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Does yolk have a silent l am? I just not
an yolk.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Nobody says egg yolk.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I think it must be if you said I'd like
four egg yolks please, but I would not say I
need four egg yolks. What if two things could be
true here and you're right and I'm right.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
We're both right.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
You're right because member, this takes me back to what
we've discussed many times, and it is almond and almond.
But it is almond, caramel and caramel that one. I
see some people say almond. Okay, they're like, I want
to almond joy. I'm just saying people say things diferently
(10:47):
exactly poem, pajamas, jamas.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I say bagel, begel, not bagel. I say begel, I
say it wrong. Anyway, back to the yoke equally yoked.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
I just didn't know if you grew up hearing about well,
you know.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Somebody told me that I was not equally yoked with
them once. That's how they broke up with me.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Oh really, yeah, tell us more.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
That's what he said. Okay, he said that I really
really liked, but I think I was more attracted to
the idea of him and he was really cute. I
had met him at the GEM, so it was kind
of a cute story. I don't think i'd ever had
a serious boyfriend at that point, and he made dating
so difficult, like I was constantly questioning myself. He was
(11:36):
very very conservative and religion was very very important to him,
and he was very black and white, like you're not
allowed to do yoga kind of black and white. And
when he broke up with me, he said we're not
equally yoked. He said yoked, not yoked, and I and
I took that as like, Oh, he thinks he's a
better Christian than me, And maybe he did think that,
(11:58):
looking back on it, we weren't. I was trying to
be what he wanted me to be versus I didn't
believe a lot of the things that I think I
wanted to believe in order to be a match for him.
So he's right, but it also really hurt my feelings.
I think there was a different way.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
To say that sounds like he was that yeah, yes,
but I think that there's gray area in Christianity and faith,
especially when it comes to workout routines and whatnot. But
I think that's just how fundamental is someone in their faith.
Isn't that ye fundamentalist? Oh? Yeah, leans into some of
(12:34):
that stuff, which I grew up that way, So I
understand that and have compassion with that, and I've discovered
my own ways in my faith since then, and in
our marriage we did that. When I was married, we
had some growing to do because we grew up going
to the same exact church, so we had some of that,
and we loved our church and everybody there. But I
think as you grow up, it's okay to evolve and
(12:57):
think for yourself how you want to be, or what
type of tree you want to go to, or how
you want to raise your kids. The final thing, according
to AI, is emotional support and affection. Apparently you don't
have to be human to know that emotion and support
and affection are important. Speaking of affection, I know that
my love language is words of affirmation. I've known that
(13:19):
for a very long time. But I think it also
might be touch and not touchy.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Touchy you're a touchy person, yay.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yeah, I like touching, but I like holding hands in
public or something. And I just have realized that about
me that I sort of miss just like having that
person there, hand on the leg or hand on the
back or hand on the lower back. Or hand on
the shoulder.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
You're a hand on the lower back?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Is that uneasy? Flushing?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Is so? Support? Affection key to a perfect relationship. AI
says that these qualities create a nurturing environment where both
partners can thrive and grow together and help them maintain
a healthy life level of intimacy and connection. So there
you go.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I mean, I'm surprised. I kind of like that list.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Yeah, AI knows what's up.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Don't sleep on you need AI and say you need therapy.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
No, I think people still need theory.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Good, thank you? All right.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
It seems like the words narcissist and sociopath get thrown
around a lot and social media. I feel like, I
don't know if this is part of my algorithm, but
stuff just will pop up and I know that you know,
but I don't think we've said anything that I was
sort of recently called a sociopath and I didn't know
exactly what that meant, so I had to google it
and it said that sociopaths have no regard for the law,
(14:50):
and I regard. I got real hung up on that
one because I was like, I have regard for the law,
but I don't know if I was so much being
called a sociopath or being told that my behavior with sociopathic,
which is that the same thing?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I mean, I would ask, how do you differentiate? Yeah,
the person, Well, you're not going to ask.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Already cut off communication. That's a boundary.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
That is a boundary. If you call me a sociopath.
We are no longer in communication with that.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
And just of course I am, which I was willing
to evaluate and I was like googling it and I
texted you and I'm like, what is this always assessing
my behavior in the relationship and how I was behaving
and making sure that it wasn't sociopathic And after much
thinking and.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
You just saw it, You're not okay, you feel confident.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I'm that confident that I wasn't doing anything sociopathic. And
I'm like, we can't throw these words around. This is
like major stuff like serial killers are sociopaths or are
they the psychopaths? Either way, it's dangerous.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
But I know what, I think it's what people use
that when they're like, oh, they're acting like a sociopath
or really, what they're probably wanting to say or meaning
is something felt confusing to them. But that doesn't feel
as like, oh big, you know, so they need a
stronger word, and then it just goes too far. I've
never once in my life thought of you as a sociopath.
(16:05):
I've been confused about you before, but I'm not like, oh,
that was a confusing answer. You're a sociopath, but okay, yeah,
we all were going to be confused by people.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Yes, and the person tried to come back and apologize.
The boundary of is already.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Damn, which I had been done made.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
But I just share that story in case anybody else
has been accused of being a sociopath. You're not alone,
and I think it gets thrown around a lot. So
I have how to spot someone with no soul, which would.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Be that where articles This is from Bold? What's that?
B O L d E.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
It's an article that I found online about narcissists and sociopaths.
But really, at the end of the day, someone with
no soul, they don't show empathy. Emotions are too confusing
and complex for them. I mean, emotions are confusing to
me at times, but I have them.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
You have realm.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Yeah, I know that you've been called a narcissist sort of.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I was sort of called one what wasn't to your face?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
Yeah, they said.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
To you, And I'm like, that's so weird. She's the
furthest thing from that. But I believe that that was
a form of gas lighting on your part to you, Yeah,
to try to separate me from you because you could
see through certain things. And I think that that happens
(17:29):
a lot if people are in a toxic relationship. I
don't want people to think this has been or my
ex husband by any means. This is something totally different.
But to have a threat, you then gaslight to make
up lies about that person to try to build separation,
and sometimes it works, and then a friendship gets destroyed
and ended and then turns out it was just all farce.
(17:52):
Fir see a farsi far farse. I don't even know
why I haven't used the word farce.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
That's a word my grandparents would use. I don't know
where that bringing it back.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
That could be our word of the week. They know
what emotions are supposed to look like, so they mimic
them and they fake their way through it, therefore to
appear as though they have the emotions, but they don't,
which is tricky.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, somebody you can like cry on cue.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Their eyes are dead sometimes and then it just says
with this one, you'll know when you see it, like
they kind of just are black.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Like they have no soul in their eyes. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
They lack remorse and accountability. They always place blame elsewhere.
They cheat, lie and steal. They don't feel any guilt
when they speak. It sounds as if they're using a script.
Oh wow, what that had? It resonated with me about
the person that said that about me? Remember the monologue
(18:50):
that was delivered. Oh my god, it looks it was
like a movie script.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
It was like they practiced in the mirror.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Okay, mind blown. I just associated that they hate animals.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
Oh my gosh. Wait, First of all, I don't think
that's me, right, it's not you. But okay, that's funny.
I wish we could say one.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I know, maybe one day. Their hugs are cold and rigid.
Well that wasn't necessarily the case. But I don't know
that it has to be all of these things. But
these are things that you can look out for. And
obviously it's tricky out there. But with all the information online,
Like you, as a therapist, do you feel like you
have more clients that come in thinking that they're in
(19:39):
some kind of narcissistic work environment, personal relationship, family dynamic,
when really it may not be that. It just may
be like a tough season.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, And I think what's hard is sometimes that's true
and sometimes it's not. And it's hard for me to
know because I don't usually know those people. I just
hear one version of that story. So I can talk
about how certain behaviors that they're reporting to me feel
toxic or unhealthy, but it's hard to really know for certain.
But I do think people over emphasize certain labels because
(20:13):
of social media, because of let's probably like this that
they're like they had this, this and this, and that
means they have no soul. And really, what this article
is probably saying is that these behaviors are these traits
are red flags we should look at and consider, versus
saying that somebody is like the devil or a narcissist
or a sociopath or something like that, because to really
(20:34):
understand that, that takes a actual psychological exam by a
trained professional, you know, but.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Most narcissists or sociopaths are not going to go take
an exam for that so.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's goods most of all the time.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
But shout out to anybody that has because I see
stories like that where someone realizes like, oh, shoot, I
have some of these traits and I would actually like
to work on it, and they go in they actually
do try.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Yeah. Or I've had clients when I worked at a
treatment center where we would get psyche valves for certain
clients just to get a better understanding of what's going on,
and they didn't ask for it, and maybe they didnt
even ask to be in treatment. But then now we
have this understanding so they can be diagnosed, but they
didn't really seek it out. Or if they go to
couples counseling, a therapist or somebody that they're working with
might be able to pick up on things.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Well, I have compassion for it if anybody is because
they've developed it as a coping mechanism early on in
some way, it's part of their survival. I mean, it
sucks because nobody deserves to be mistreated, and a lot
of times if you are that way, you're mistreating people
in your life, or someone has to be the recipient
of this type of behavior, which can be really I
but yeah, I'm glad you said all that too, because
(21:42):
I don't want someone to be like, oh, going in
and I was listening to four things and you have
no soul. Also, what I've learned from you too is
at any given moment, day, circumstance, situation, any of us
could be in a narcissistic trait one of them. We
might be displaying it depending on the situation, But it
doesn't mean that we are that we're a full blow narcissist, right,
(22:05):
But we're all capable of behaving that way at any
given time. Like pick a trait here or there.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
A healthy amount of narcissism, like, we all need a
healthy amount of it in order to have self esteem.
We need to have believe certain things about ourselves. But
that's a whole other podcast. I think when it comes
to people diagnosing friends or family, what I think has
become difficult is what you said, like, oh, this person
(22:32):
has three of these things, they are that, and then
we just paint them in that light. I like what
you said about having compassion. I have a lot of
compassion for a narcissist and people that have any kind
of mental health disorder. I have compassion. That's else I
shouldn't be doing what I do for a living in
a job, and just like anybody else, you have the
responsibility to take care of the traits that are hurting
(22:55):
other people that you have, just like I might not
be a narcissist, but I am responsible for taking care
of the traits that might impact my relationships negatively. And
so you can have compassion for the wounding that might
have gotten somebody somewhere, and it's still the responsibility to
take care of that and manage that with boundaries.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, dear Ai, how to create boundaries? Okay, Well, thank
you for your insight on that. I know this is
a tricky one, but I just feel like with it
being thrown around. Definitely wasn't trying to contribute to that narrative,
but just thought it'd be funny to share so of
my personal story, being that I was recent to it. Yeah,
if you ever called a sociopath sometimes, yeah, it's good
(23:34):
to bring a little really.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
About us not diagnosing you as a narcis thank you
or a sociopath?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, I get it straight. Okay, So on Monday, Kat
has an episode coming out on Unique Therapy. She has
episodes every Monday and Wednesday, and I'm going to be
the guest and we're going to be talking about my
recent dating life, because when it comes to dating, I
need therapy.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So a lot of people need.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
But if you're dating like me, it can be a
little bit confusing. It can be intimidating, especially if you're
divorced and you have kids and you're older. And I
feel like it was confusing for me in my twenties,
and you would think with the maturity, which I would say,
it's a little different. I do have some of that,
but there's still stuff that creeps in more like I
can't believe I'm having these thoughts at forty something that
(24:26):
I had back when I was in my twenties, because
I'll still find myself getting a little confused, but I
guess I recover from it faster or I have more
rational thoughts pop into my head that are like, Okay,
don't overthink this, don't over analyze it doesn't mean anything.
You're building a story. But I think when meeting a guy,
if you're getting to know him, it's normal to wonder
(24:47):
like does he really like me? Or is this going
to be like a friend thing? And so I was
looking at various sources and came across twenty seven signs
that he likes you more than a friend. Okay, but
I pulled the top six.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Okay. I was like, that's a lot of signs.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
No, we're not going to go over all twenty seven.
But I'm very curious about this first one. He displays
a healthy jealousy from a therapist standpoint, I'm curious your
thoughts on this. If he gets a little jealous when
you mention other guys, he's probably displaying his protectiveness around you.
So is there such thing as healthy jealousy?
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yeah? I think jealousy is oftentimes healthy, and it's helpful
because when we feel jealous, it's often because we see
something that we want. So I think that that can
be true. It's what you do with that jealousy that
might be that healthy and unhealthy thing.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, Like, how far is he willing to go?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
But what does he do? Does he blame you for
cheating on him or something, or does he go like
beat this guy up or he asks you to like
never contact that person again? That is not great. But
if he's like, oh, Brad texted you, what did he want? Cool?
Speaker 2 (25:57):
What are you going to hang out with?
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Brad, that's passive aggressive.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Oh but I know, but I've done that jo Okay,
so I've done that jokey, jokey with which may maybe
we'll talk about it more on Monday. We haven't recorded
that episode yet, but you've been there when I've made
a joke joke about it. Let's call her Tina. I'm like, oh,
is that what Tina like to do?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
But that's flirting okay, But if you take it too far,
if you're like, why don't you just go hang out
with Tina? That is not fine.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Lifetime movie vibes, yes, like who's Tina when we've only
been out like twice and he could easily still be
dating Tina and doing it in an appropriate way, because
when you're not actually dating, you can be dating multiple people.
And the jealousy thing, I like that you brought that
up too, So it's outside of relationships as well, Like
you could see something you want, like you could be
jealous of a career thing, but you can use as
(26:48):
an indicator of like, oh, it's actually good that I'm
feeling this because it's telling me what I want and
now what do I need to do to go get that?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
In a healthy way, and I don't have to hate
the person that has something.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I want observes even the small things about you. So
it says a guy who notices small changes in your
daily life is making an effort to build a deeper
connection with you.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
When I chopped on my hair off, he noticed, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
So you're saying this guy likes you. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That was very obvious. My hair went from really long
to really short.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
And he gave you a sweet compliment about it.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
He did, you were there. But then later when he left,
he texted me a nice note about my hair, but
it was more my energy, my vibe, and he was
maybe saying, like the haircut.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Wait a second, what I cut five inches off of
my hair and colored it, and I came home and
I just stood in the kitchen looking at Patrick, being
like flipping my hair and being like, how's your day?
And then I just like stared at him in the
eyes for like thirty seconds, and he was like, what
is wrong with you? And I was like, oh, I
don't know if anything new happened or if you notice,
and he was so confused. So then I think I
(27:54):
probably gave him the silent treatment. For like an hour
after he didn't notice five inches.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Chat g would not agree with your reaction to that. Well,
first of all, I tricked him into trying to notice
your hair and stood there, and then you gave him
the silent treatment. It's not effective communication.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
It's not It was very unhealthy and I will own that.
But what do you think it says about Patrick that
he didn't notice.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
He's a sociopath.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Okay, and he doesn't like me.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Okay, great, my relationship is they jerned down?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
No, I think I don't know that five inches I
get to us. But your hair to me still looks
long and the color looks similar.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
So just feels like you're defending him right.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Next thing, he goes the extra mile for you. Men
will go to any extent to charm their partners, even
at the cost of their inconvenience.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I love this one.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I haven't experienced it, really.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah I have when you had the mold Oh.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Yeah, okay, thank you for the reminder.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
We're like I'd like, oh, I have to make a
phone call for her, and like like that's an inconvenience.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
But people, okay, that was right? When it all kind
of started back.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
And he was happy to be inconvenienced by you.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Okay, thank you for that. See, sometimes it's really good
to get a friend's perspective on things, because we can
have a lot going on and we can miss stuff
that's right in front of our face. He changes his
body language. Does he keep his feet towards you? Does
he look you in the eye or listen attentively when
you speak? If yes, he could be attracted to you.
(29:28):
Does he keep his feet towards you? That's interesting me
paying attention to feat? Does he look you in the eye?
But you and Patrick Yell are married now for what
seven months? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Whole seven months, so probably we're past the feet towards
each other stage. Keeps you updated.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Men who see you as romantic interest will update you
about their day, send you pictures, show curiosity to know
about your day, and send wishful texts.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
You're smiling.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I'm smiling because I sent a text to him yesterday.
Because you want to see that new Reagan move with
Dennis Quaid.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Oh, I want to see that. I know about that.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
So I saw a big billboard and I was at
a light, and I took a picture of the Reagan billboard,
but in front of me was a grey Honda, and
all he replied back, he was like, you must really
like that gray Honda because you're sending it to me.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
I want this. He knew it was the billboard.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
He was making a joke.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh, that's really funny.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
And so now I said, oh, yeah, you know, every
time I see grey Honda a picture. But that was
me kind of updating him. I feel like I would
probably text way more than he does, but that's okay.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Also, the way you text in general is different, Like
you're like a text like me, which.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Is we send a lot of texts in a row
and then we go M I A yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
And then but you don't mind like being in that
constant where like some people would rather just like, Okay,
if I have something to say, I'm going to call you,
or I don't need to talk to you all day,
I'll just call you at a certain point and catch up.
Versus I'm like, every time I take a step, I
have to tell you how far I've gotten in what
I've seen and how the clouds look different and all
that true.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
The final thing, he introduces you to his inner circle.
If you have met his best friends or his family.
He may just be interested in you.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
That is actually a good indicator because when you are
kept he's calling shut up, it should be recorded. Answer it.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
He's calling shut up, should be recorded.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Answer it, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Hey, we're like little girls.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Flash it. He said something, he goes, what's happening? He
goes something funny. You're not on speaker, but we're recording,
and I answered, but it can't hear you it being aligerphone.
But I'm with Cat. We thought it'd be fun to
just pick up in the middle of it, because, yeah,
(32:08):
a sixteen year old gosh being unequally yolked, oh yoked,
Just say unequally yolked, however you would say it unequally yoke?
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Thank you? Oh my goskay.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
All right. Have you ever used the word farce?
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Yeah, no, I'm not saying I never used it, but
it is not very common.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I normally don't use it, but I used it during
this episode for some reason. And now it is our
word of the week, because every week on the podcast,
at least for the last three weeks now, we've had
a word of the week. I'm at her office and
she's gonna have a client showing up, so I'll call
you back.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Okay, bye.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
So there was that some of your fun phone calls
this week during the pop So yeah, if you've met
his friend's family the inner circle, he's interested booming. All right.
What's a food combo that sounds so disgusting but it's
(33:17):
actually good? I'll run through something that I ate the
other day. People are missing out if they're not doing this.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with potato chips smashed in
the middle. I love the salt from the potato chip
and the crunch.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
I don't like jelly, but the peanut butter and potato
chips sounds good to me.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
When I was little, my mom used to make me,
you'll hate this mayonnaise and potato chips sandwiches. Oh my gosh,
I know because Kat doesn't like anything that's white and creamy,
Dan Dan.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
If you don't have one like top of mine, I'm
gonna run through like a list. I decided to like
Google some weird combos, but to me they sound good.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I have one that I see, you know as a kid,
I ate Bloni and ketchup sandwiches. Oh it's like a
hot dog though if you think about.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
It, Yeah, it doesn't sound terrible.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
I want to eat it today though, But that was
my favorite thing to have in my lunch in eluntry school.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Black pepper on fruit, apples and sharp cheddar cheese.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
You eat that?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I love that, But people think it's weird. And I
was talking about this on the Bobby Buonjow the other day.
Melted sharp cheddar cheese on top of the apple pie. Ooh,
don't knock it till you try it. Pickles and peanut butter.
I don't like pickles, Watermelon and feta cheese that sounds good.
Fries with ice cream, that sounds delicious, amazing, balsamic vinegar
(34:38):
on ice cream.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I've never tried that.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
I'm intrigued. Mac and cheese with tarayaki sauce.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
I don't like mac and cheese, but I can see
that being good.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
When I was little, I would put ketchup on my
mac and cheese Doritos with yellow mustard and then I
don't even know how I could try this one, but
maybe it's good. A pineapple omelet so.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Eggs, probably with the egg yelt.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
And pineapple made into an almond. So weird food comos
that sound good. If you have any, send us ones
that we need to try and maybe Kat and I'll
do a little.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Like insis story, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Cooking situation food lambo and test out what y'all like.
Send us email four things with Amy Brown at gmail
dot com. And you know, we started the show with
an email, and I figured we'd wrap with an email.
Little bookend. Here This is from Tabitha and she said, Hey, Amy,
I listened to you on the Bobby Bone Show, and
lately I have really wanted to get a reading done,
(35:33):
but I don't know who is legit nowadays. I remember
when you all had a relative of yours, like come
in and do a reading for Bobby. Is there any
way you could please send me their information for me
to contact them. Truly appreciate it. Thanks for all you do, Tabitha.
And Tabitha, that was my psycond cousin. And she's not
really a relative because she's not really my cousin, but
I grew up calling her my cousin. Did you do
(35:54):
that like an aunt? Because I had an aunt, Lisa,
that was my mom's best friend.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
I didn't have any of those. I think it's pretty normal.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah, so for my whole life, she's been my cousin.
And her website is soulpathology dot com. I'll also put
it in the show notes. But I reached out to
her to be like, hey, what's the best way for
this tab of the person. She said, send her to
my website. Everything's there, and then she said to have
you check out her podcast, which is awesome too. It's
called soul Sessions, and she encouraged you to listen to
(36:22):
some of her content there, learn more about her and
see if you resonate with her. Her name's Amanda. She's like,
see if she resonates, and then she can reach out
and that's just a good way to get a feel
for her and get to know her. So that way
you can see what it's like for you and feel
it out. Yeah, Amanda Rieger Green is her name, and
soul pathology dot com is the website, and soul Sessions
(36:43):
is her podcast. And Kat, speaking of where can people
find you? Like your website that you work hard on yourself.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
Yeah, I hate running websites, but I have to have
two of them. You need therapy podcast and three quarts Therapy,
and then you can find me on Instagram, at UNI
Therapy podcast and at Kat van Buren and.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
I am at Radio Amy and Kat and I both
hope that you're having the day that you needed to have.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Bye.