Exercise Addiction. Being a Second Mom. Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Myth of Vulnerability. (#41)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful that for a little mouth. You're kicking

(00:30):
with four? What Up? New Thursday? Who? This? This is
Amy actually and Mary. She's here for the intro because
she's going to do a thing with us in this episode.
So I have also two interviews today, one with Lisa
which is at the well Necessities. She's coming on. Let's

(00:50):
talk about exercise addiction, which is interesting. You'll have been
loving her. I love her mindset when it comes to
wellness and attitude about food and working out. And she
just had an AHA moment. Isn't that an Oprah thing? Ah? Yeah,
she had an AHA moment recently that shared on Instagram
when she was at a friend's wedding and I reached
out to her and I said, I want you to

(01:11):
talk about that on the podcast. So she came on
and we discussed that. And also Caroline Hobby is on
which she has a podcast called Get Real and It's awesome,
and she interviews the wives predominantly. She's starting to branch
out a little bit more, but I would say the
core of a lot of her most recent interviews are
the wives of country stars. And she lives here in

(01:34):
Nashville and they're really interesting. She comes on to talk
about that, but she's also like thirty eight weeks pregnant,
so we get into some of that. I mean, we
kind of talk about it all. But she's she's a
super cool person. I love her outlook on life. She's
always trying to be joy, spark joy. We're all about joy, right,
Oh yeah, pimp and joy hashtag. So and then also
we'll get into the myth, like a myth of vulnerability,

(01:57):
so I'll touch on that, and then a little segment
with Harry on me being a second mom because that's
what I am because I adopted two kids. And I
don't know that this is the exact order that things
are going to be in, but that's the menu. How
do you feel about that menu? I love it. I'm excited. Okay, good.
If you ever are listening something I see that Mary does,

(02:18):
which I think is super cool and supportive of any
not just mine, any podcast she listens to, she takes
a screenshot when she's listening and throws it up on
her Instagram stories with the swipe up, and she'll say, oh,
I really liked this podcast or or maybe even why
she liked it or something. So that's just a little encouragement.
You don't want to do it with my but you should.

(02:38):
You should. I should tell them say no, you totally should.
I feel like that's the main way that I find
different podcasts because people I follow obviously I'm interested in them,
and then I'm usually interested in the same things that
they're interested in. So yeah, screenshot it, just tag and
then tell what it is, why do you like it? Yeah,
and then maybe people will subscribe and swipe up and listen,

(02:59):
and then we can, you know, keep going with the podcast.
I mean, honestly, I'm gonna keep going with it no
matter what. I mean. I'm all in on this. But
you don't do a s bub or if you don't
do a screenshot, it might not be here next right.
This is what's keeping us alive. But not really. I'll
still hear to be talking, but I'd rather be talking
to a lot of you than none of you, and

(03:20):
getting to know more of you and creating more of
a community. We're talking about the podcast being a lot
of them are are core people to like Mary, and
I feel like we have our squaw people. But I
know a lot of you spat people shout out, are listening.
You know who you are. But it's not hard to
get in the club. All you gotta do is just
join us on our Friday night lives, which speaking of

(03:40):
when Mary and I talk, we have a special announcement
about Alive. We have coming up that is going to
be amazing, like unlike you've ever seen before. Even if
you're not gonna you don't even even if you just
want to pop in, you might want to see how
it's going. You might want to watch the train wreck,
you know, because I feel like it could derail. But
it's gonna be fun and I'm excited about it. So

(04:02):
we'll talk about that. But yeah, we want to create
a community, and so I think even with our our
Joy Seeker we were talking about how Walker turned our
joy Seeker shirt that supports haiti um, be kind to
use joy, laugh a lot, eat cake, that's where the
that's and that's not my podcast theme song. So we
have items that have that on there. We have a

(04:23):
Joy Secret shirt and we have a Joy Secret pouch
which is so cute. I love my pouch. I throw
it in my four things, don't. It's a lot of
four Things and then you know, you can put all
kinds of accessories or your cords or charging cables, all
the stuff in there, and it's a really great little
travel thing. But that's a way where you can I
feel like maybe one day that stuff will be out

(04:46):
there and then you may see someone else with the
four Things and you can either be or the joy
secret one that and be like, hey, do you listen
to the podcast or you know you mentioned support chop
Aspoa or whatever, but I would like it to be
so like a also a podcast thing too, And then
guess what if they're like, no, I just liked this,
I just support a squad, then you can be like, well,

(05:06):
you know there's a podcast that was based off the
four Things and then boom we got a new listener.
See how the community builds. It's that easy. So um,
Mary and I just appreciate any and all support. Right now,
All things a spar going to education in Haiti through
Project Meta Share in their school, which is again, oh

(05:30):
oh my god, I'm getting a phone call. Hold on please,
this is I have a landline so I can do
phone interviews and sometimes the phone rings, so y'all are
getting a little treat hello, hello, Hello, oh hello, oh
oh not Nasha, Nope, I think wrong number. Okay, thanks, Okay,

(05:56):
I want they weren't like I could have been good.
I know it could have been good. It could have
done something amazing and random right here. But well, okay,
so there you go. You know what's coming up in
this episode, y'all are awesome. You can um email us
which think about this episode four things with Amy Brown
at gmail dot com, or send your questions for the
Q and A on Tuesday's all that Jazz. But yeah,

(06:18):
listen through and then I've got an awesome, awesome email
shout out at the end of this episode as well.
So here we go. First, So Lisa is back on.
She's at the Well Necessities on Instagram, and people talk
all the time about how social media is ruining the world,
and and while I think there are negative aspects to

(06:40):
social media, for sure, there are so many positives, like
the amazing people that I've been able to meet that
I otherwise would not meet if it was not for Instagram,
like my girl Lisa, for example. So she's come on
the podcast twice before. She's back on again, and this
is hopefully not going to be here last time, she's
I would like to adopt you as a regular because

(07:01):
I I'm obsessed with your Instagram and your posts. Like
people that aren't following you yet, I encourage them to
just go over test out some of the content you'll
want to follow again. It's at the Well Necessities. And
even before we just got you on the phone for
the interview least, I was scrolling through your Instagram and
there's so many good ones to go back and revisit,
and I saw one that you posted back on July eleven,

(07:24):
which really resonated with me big time. And you're it's
just a video of you eating those cauliflower pretzels, you know,
and you're eating them and you're thinking, you're just eating
them over and over, You're just like in the bag.
And I'm like, oh my gosh, that's been me and
I totally agree with you. They are not good. They're

(07:46):
so gross. But why are we just just I mean,
people need to go check out that post against from
July eleventh and you munching on these pretzels like you're
never going to eat a pretzel again, and like, why
do we do that? Well, it's so interesting that you
bring that that post up because that post was written
as a result to our last conversation UM on the

(08:08):
podcast where we talked a little bit about the healthy
halo UM, and you made me realize that this is
something that I talked about all the time, but I
don't have a blog post on it. Um. So Instagram
is kind of like a mini blog. Sometimes my Instagram
goes to my blog. Sometimes instagrams just Instagram. But anyway,
just to catch everybody up to speed, the healthy halo
is something that I refer to where we give a

(08:31):
food a healthy halo and as a result, we chuck
out our what I call inner wisdom, like our ability
to tune in, check in with ourselves, ask ourselves, are
we enjoying the food? Are we satisfied? Healthful? Are we
because it's chalked up as healthy? Um, this may equate
too free to some people, you know, like free calories

(08:52):
or nutrition or whatever it is, but um, there's really
a big it's doing a big disservice to yourself to
put a healthy halo on the food. And it's also
very easy to do. So it's something that even I
can get wrapped up in very easily. UM. So just
to look out for the healthy halo in your own life.
Um so what does that look like? I think it

(09:14):
looks very different for a lot of people. But like
two thousand nineteen, where we are right now, what I'm
seeing the foods that are getting the healthy halo are
the ones that are like marked as keto or paleo um.
For some people might be vegan or sugar free, um,
whatever that sort of like label is or whatever the
food has or doesn't have that makes it like safe. Um.

(09:35):
So the Collie Flower pretzels and I take bad just
because this brand. I think it's Oh, I agree, I
like the brand in general, but I bought their pretzels
and I've eaten them and not like them, and then
I've bought them again, and I can. I bought them
multiple times until finally I was like, why why why
am I buying these? And I'm only eating and if
you look at some of the other ingredients, I mean,

(09:55):
it's just because, I mean, I might as well just
eat a real freaking pretzel if I want to press So, yeah,
these this bread in particular isn't a bad bread. And
there's funny people who like the pretzels, but they're a
grain free pretzel um. They're made from cauliflower, and as
a result, people are just like buying them up. The
flavor is just not good. However, they do have other

(10:18):
products that I do like, and I just like to
disclaim that, like, just because we're talking about the healthy
halo doesn't mean not like you can't find a product
that's an alternative or um made with an alternative ingredients,
and that makes it, you know, some food that you
shouldn't eat. What I try and do is just help
people understand why they're turning towards certain foods um and

(10:40):
really feel confident in those streases because, like you said,
you keep buying these pretzels, you're eating them. They personally
make me feel like very not good, which is the
most important thing to me, I think my stomach. Kurt, Yah, Yeah,
there's that. Okay, Well, I just wanted to revisit that.
I know that you know, we touched on it a
little bit, but I felt when I was scrolling back

(11:01):
through your Instagram, it just hit me again. That's one
that just hits me hard. So it's worth worth mention
for the audience to just also pay attention. Is like
it says Caulie flower prestels on the on the um label,
and that's like, so you're just reaching for them thinking
they're just caulie flower, but that's just a I don't
even think it's their main ingredients. So you know, they

(11:22):
still are made I think with like cassava flowers, so
they still got other ingredients or not just pure caulie flower.
So pay attention to all those things before just eating
food because it's market's healthy exactly. And so one other
post that you put up where, which is why we're
actually doing this little talk right now, is because you
posted about exercise addiction in a nutshell, and it's something

(11:47):
that I was like, oh, whoa, we we should talk
about this, and I think you had you were It
was a wedding weekend for you, right, And so just
for reference, if people want to go back to this post,
it was August five, and I'm gonna let Lisa take
it from here on on what the post was about,
what that what that weekend was like for her, and

(12:08):
how it was different than weekends past of that. Thank
you so much. So, um, yeah, we're talking about exercise addiction,
but also I think like most importantly, what we're trying
to create, which is a healthy relationship to exercise. The
same way we're trying to foster a healthy relationship to food, right,
because we have to eat and we should be moving

(12:28):
our bodies. But how can we do so in a
way that our relationship to these two things stays positive? Right?
That makes sense. So that specific weekend it was my
best best best girlfriend's wedding. Um. And each night was
like to the east night of the weekends of Friday
and Saturday night. Oh no, Thursday, Friday, Saturday night was

(12:51):
a little bit extended, was filled with just like you know,
not that I typically eat at the time that I
eat them. So we got home from the rehearsal dinner
on Friday night and ordered room service fries. We were
staying in New York. It was fun. And on the
way out the door to go to the gym the
next morning, because I like usually get a walk in
it just is how I restart. Um, I walked past

(13:12):
the fries that were sitting right outside the door. There
was nothing left of the fries. And my response was, oh, yeah,
like I ate that last night. Um, And then kind
of like went on my merryway to the gym to
get my name walk in and I realized a few
seconds later like that was so powerful, um and easy
to miss because that, oh yeah, in the past would

(13:35):
have been a I don't know if I can and
I don't want to curse, you know. Oh crap, um,
you know, oh crap, Oh my god, what did I do? Now?
I need to work out extra hard, go for longer, UM,
do better tomorrow, E clean, you know, make makeup for it.
So my that was always sort of followed up by
an action plan and attempt to feel in control UM.

(13:56):
And that usually looks like food rule of an extra exercise,
And as a result, my exercise was punishment, not for
joy UM. So it's something to just pay attention to
because exercise um is never a punishment and food is
never a reward. And when we see them as these um,
interchangeable things we need. Um we get to eat because

(14:19):
we exercise, or we exercise so now we can eat
more or that food, we're not only um, losing this
connection with our body and our ability to hone the
actual food and amounts that we want and need. But
we're miserable, you know, Like exercise is actually a joyful thing,
but you need to like really back it up and
establish your why and come to terms with what feels

(14:42):
good for you, right, I love it. I think that
that's huge. And you know, I think once you can
get to a place where you can live in the
moment like you were with your girlfriends that weekend, and
have the oh yeah, we ate that, and not have
to realize that your body is capable of handling that
if you're but if you sit there and stress about it,

(15:03):
that's when your body isn't capable because and then and
then also when you give yourself that freedom, you don't
go totally crazy like you could, like you said you
could maybe maybe the night before it could have piled
on way more than fries if you put so much
emphasis about that and you weren't really in the moment,
you just go totally crazy through the next day. It's

(15:25):
not really a no yeah. It's like you just feel
so overwhelmingly crappy that it is kind of like it
is like a no crap but even though you desperately
want the oh yeah, but you feel so bad. But
and then you're like, how okay. Instantly our brain is
like I can fix this. I can fix this. I'll
just go to the gym and work out hardcore. I'll
drink tons of water, I'll only have green juice for

(15:47):
the rest of the day and I'll fix this. And
that's just it's just that's just not a fun way
to live at all. Right. You bring up such an
important point, and I'm so glad you did. And it's
this idea that we have this like over a city
to control our bodies, and that our minds are like
so much smarter than our bodies. And every time we
jump back into that cycle of okay, all I have

(16:08):
to do is do this and then I'll be okay.
And you know, just to give yourself compassion in that
moment too, Like that's how we protect ourselves and feel
um safe, you know, because it's very unnerving to think,
oh my god, what did I do? I don't feel good?
What is it going to do to my body? Whether
it be for health or shape or size, um or
to just feel like crap. And we talk about this

(16:29):
one instant, but it stems from your overall um relationship
to food and exercise, not just on the weekend. So um.
Something that I'm seeing in my online course a lot
now is my students are really struggling with the weekend
because they um, you know, they're saying that they're doing
really well during the week, they're eating well, they're working out,

(16:51):
and then Friday comes and they are, you know, wanting
to not be so rigid with food rules, and so
they sort of go uts on whatever they're they're not
allowed food is during the week, and then Sunday they're
left feeling like crap again. And then Monday, you know,
they're back into the hamster wheel of being good, but

(17:12):
they're putting themselves in a cycle of like making this
way more of a thing than it than it has
to be. Your body will tell you when it wants
to move, um, and how it wants to move and yeah,
and if you do eat the fries late night with
your girlfriends, your body will digest it. There's no need
to go crazy over it like those can say. Your

(17:37):
body will digest it, of course, but more importantly, it
will let you know when it needs more food again,
so perhaps you don't usually eat at two am French fries.
The best thing you can do is to wake up
and instead. I know, it's so easy to reach for
those rules of what you're going to do and what
you're not going to do, but instead allow um your
body to communicate with you when it's hungry, perhaps it's

(17:59):
later in the a then when you typically eat breakfast
because you just had too too am right, But by
telling it, oh no, I can't eat this, this and
this or until this time, by the time you allow
yourself to eat, you're so disconnected from your own body
that you're you're feeding right back into that cycle. And
then when it comes to moving, I love that you know,

(18:19):
to just to revisit when you walked by the fries
and you're like, oh, yeah, I hate that, but you
were on your way to move anyway no matter what,
because moving our bodies are. It's just important. And I
would like to encourage people if you're in a place
where you're in a rut and you just haven't been,
then you know, start small, like try to go on
those walks, think about activities that maybe you used to

(18:39):
be into or you you've been curious to try and
give them a try pick out, like do a variety
of things throughout the week and see if there's something
that really just hits home with you and you're like, Okay,
this is cool, this is home. Whether it's a yoga
YouTube video or actually going to a studio. I know
sometimes if you haven't been out and about, like in
a with working out with others, sometimes it can be

(19:02):
intimidating if you're trying to get back into it. But
there's so many different things that you can do at home. Um,
because I don't want people to get confused to with
that word, you know, I think Lisa was pretty clear,
so nobody should get confused. But um, the you know
you shouldn't work out. But it's more exercise addiction that

(19:23):
we're When you're addicted to it's almost it's a it's
a sense of it's a it's a way of purging,
like if you you may not be throwing up your food,
but you're trying to burn those calories because you feel
guilty that you did something. And we want working out
to be, like you said, a joy. It should feel good.
So what is that feel good thing? For you? And
for me? Over the years, it's changed, like it fluctuates

(19:44):
and I just have to listen to my body. But
then you know, it's not every day do I want
to go do it? But there's that thing too that
once you finish your workout you don't ever regret having
done it. I don't know how many like class instructors
have told me that one, but it is so it's right.
And I think you bring up a really good point.
And I always, you know, lead from this place of like,

(20:07):
we need movement. I have my masters and exercise physiology
for a reason we need it. But so important to
do two things A you know, like you said, take
inventory of what brings you joy, because there is something
out there, whether it's walking, rollerblading, yoga, pilates, um, you know,
anything really that is going to literally alter your brain

(20:30):
chemistry because it feels so good for you. Um, but
it might take a little bit of time to figure
out what that thing is for you. And the other
thing I just want to say is if you find
some you know, I think the reason that we have
this sort of like messed up relationship to exercise, many
of us, is because we think that we don't like
it because of something we've done before. So I mean,

(20:51):
for me as early as um like physical education pe
in high school, I hated I thought I hated exercise
because I hated what we had to do in those
classes in those um at gym at gym time, pe
like I don't like to do sprints, I don't like
to do like relays, you know, stuff like that. And
so I always thought that I hated exercise, but that's

(21:13):
not the case. My body just doesn't like to do that, right,
exactly love it. And then so what's this? Do you
have webinars? Webinar coming up? Lisa? We we should have
probably talked about this before, but we'll just go ahead
and talk about it with everybody else. Yeah, it's basically, UM,
you know when you reached out to me and you
you said, oh, I want to talk about this, I realized,
you know, this is something that I should be talking

(21:33):
about because from my own personal story, UM, I have
been I've allowed to go from exercise addict to fitness flexible.
So what I'm going to call the webinar um and
it's gonna happen in September. I'll give you the dates
on a link, and we're just gonna go in depth
really about everything that we've spoken about on this podcast
that we will talk about my personal story, UM, as

(21:55):
well as how do we make this shift? How do
we bring exercise into our lives and make it part
of our health story in a way that isn't forceful
so that it can Like the best word I can
think of is make it sustainable, because it's got to
be sustainable. And it all comes down to your mindset
about what fitness is for you. Yeah, okay, I love that. Okay,

(22:18):
and you'll get us CMFO and then we'll make sure
to have it and uh always. You can check out
Lisa's website, the well Necessities dot com and then you're
at the Well Necessities. I mean, I know, I'm telling
you y'all, she's a good follow. You got to get
into it. And she's got this fiance. He's a vegan
doctor I like, I like. Um. They live in se

(22:42):
but she's from New York. And again we have never met,
but I hope to meet you, um one day and
then hopefully I want to meet you. But I really
want to meet your children. I know, I know, well
you'll get to meet them. I think we'll be coming
to d C at some point like soon if and yes,
we will definitely come come and see come see you

(23:04):
live and in person. I'm so excited. Okay, Okay, So
for this thing, I've got married here to join me
because I got an email and this isn't you know
we have a Q and a episode that's every Tuesday,
and then we do an email shout out at the
end of the Four Things podcast always, but every once
in a while an email will make its way into

(23:25):
a thing because I just think that it's interesting. And
I got this email from Darcy and she had heard
me talking on the Bobby Bones Show about being the
second mom to my kids because we adopted two kids
from Haiti and my son turned he turned nine. I'm
trying to think what was I posting about, But I
was posting about my son's birthday in August, and I

(23:49):
put that, you know, like when I saw him that morning,
the first thing I thought of was what it was
like nine years ago. And I wasn't the one giving
birth to him, like it was his mom, his first mom,
his Haitian mom, and so I consider myself to be
his second mom, and I can't help but think of
her and wonder what that day is like. And I

(24:13):
have never met her, but I hope to meet her
one day. And Mary's here with me, and she has
gone to Haiti with me a bajillion times. We've even
seen like we've seen Stashira's mom like from from Afar
and she was there right so we were still in
the adoption process, so legally I couldn't have an encounter

(24:37):
with her. It wouldn't have been smart because it could
have tampered with the whole thing. Because you know, there's
all kinds of different reasons. We don't need to get
into those now. But it just wasn't good for me
to to meet her. And it was so awkward because
I was there to pick up Stashira and then I
had to take her and she was there. I don't

(24:58):
know why, maybe doing some paperwork. The moms are still
involved in the process, even though the kids had been
at the orphanage for years and years and years. When
you're adopting from there, they still have to show up
to the court dates and be you know, testify. But yes,
I want my children to go to this family and
sign off on it. So how many years heads to Shara.

(25:20):
So Sara had been at the orphan at five years
and Stevenson, you know, seven, and his birth mom came
to see him when he was like six or seven,
and I think that was the first time and he
still talks about her and sometimes he'll say he I
think he hears Stashira legit, who knows her mom and

(25:40):
remembers because she lived with her mom until she was
five and a half and then but Stevenson never he
was at the orphanage since like a month old. My
dog's in here right now, so she's what is she
doing drinking my cora? Cora, don't do that, and she's
just sorry, you're not gonna drink that because she just
drank out of the oily too. There's clean water though,

(26:03):
So but okay, Kara, you cannot have caffeine. Get away
from Mary's to her. Put it on this there you go.
So I mean, I think that you know, Stevenson here
stuff here to talk about, how you know she knew
her mom or maybe she misses her mom. And then
he picks up on that and so and then I've
lost my mom. She lost her to cancer. So sometimes

(26:24):
I say that I miss my mom. So he picks
up on stuff like that, and now all this all
of a sudden out to nowhere. He'll be like, I
miss my mom, and I just I'm like, okay, buddy,
put in my mind you you didn't know her. I
hope one day he does know her, but it's that's
that's for another trip to Haiti, which Mary and I
literally just canceled. She's here with me right now in

(26:47):
Nashville recording a bunch of stuff because well, we're supposed
to be in Haiti today but got canceled because it's
just not safe for us to go there right now.
So hopefully we'll be able to go back with the
kids one day. A friend and a mentor to me
recommended that I at least wait two years for the
kids to get settled in America for two years before

(27:08):
you take them back, which as soon, Yeah, in December,
it'll be two years. It's totally not so I think,
you know, a year and a half and I'm finally
starting to get down the mom thing. I feel the
second mom, even on the second mom. I'm the full
time mom right now, and I'm starting to get it
down like little things. My kids are in school for
a year, but I didn't think of we're upstairs recording

(27:30):
and this is where we were packaging some teacher for things, totes,
and we put together gift bags for the kids teachers,
and I didn't do that last year for their teachers.
But I've realized that's something that a lot of moms
do and no pressure if you're a mom that doesn't.
I don't think it's mandatory, but I did notice once
I posted that on Instagram how much teachers appreciate that,

(27:52):
Like tons of d m s and comments. Man, if
I was a teacher, I would love that. Oh that's
so awesome, Like this is so great. I love when
parents think of us, because you know your kids are
with the teachers, but sometimes seven eight hours a day
a lot a lot. So it's just I think, as moms,

(28:14):
if you can take a second to think about the teachers. Again.
Took me a year and a half to figure this out,
and honestly, full transparency was motivated by the fact that
we came up with a teacher four things to out,
and I was like, well, this would be a perfect
gift and the kids can. They went to Target with
us and helped pick out a few things to fill
the totes with and then they're stuffing them and then

(28:36):
taking them to their teachers at school. Is like a
back to school gifts, like, Hey, it's new year, you're
my new teacher. Here's a gift. Some teachers are even
like sent me messages saying brownie points. Heck yeah, so Stevenson,
that little guy, he needs all the brown Stuffia is
a pretty good student. Stevenson is all over the place

(28:56):
and just wants to dance or not. Sometimes it's fresh popular.
He's always socializing. He will never eat his lunch because
he's too busy talking, so he needs all the browning
points he can get. So if you happen to be
like me and you're thinking, like last minute, oh shoot,
I haven't been a mom that's done that for teachers,

(29:16):
just think of something little you can do, or follow
our lead and do order go to shop us spot
dot com or four things dot com. We have so
many ways Mary that people can get to things for
dot com, radio Amy dot com. But you go there
and click on the teacher tote and then go to
the store with your kid or not your kid, because honestly,

(29:36):
sometimes taking kids to the store is just enough trouble.
But fill it in but then have your kid join
you and packing it and maybe writing a cute little note.
I just I just I didn't realize until I started
seeing all the messages from teachers how much this is
going to mean. Oh yeah, it took me a yeah again,

(29:56):
you're a mom for a year and a half year,
and this is the first time we were doing Think
for teachers, and I think now that I realize how
cool it is, I'm always gonna every time they get
a new round of teachers, whether it's yearly or semester early,
or however your school works, try to think of a
way you can do that, even if it's just a card,
because I get it, it's it's not cheap to buy
a tote and fill it up. But if if there's

(30:17):
just something you can do, or even a five dollar
gift card from two Starbucks, they can that's to to
a teacher. It's sweet. That's one morning they get to
go through drive through and treat themselves to a latte
and they don't have to pay for it. So there's
always ways to do something like that, and just quickly too.
Since we're talking about the teacher totes, Mary and I

(30:37):
are going to try something. We'll give more updates next
Thursday because that'll be like the day before. But we're
gonna do a Facebook live. We ne're downe Facebook live.
I don't hopefully it works. We've done Instagram live, but
this will be a Friday night Facebook Live about the

(30:57):
teacher totes. Yeah, specifically teacher your Totes, you know, Teacher
for Things tote project, that's what it's called. And Mary
is going to be um work in it, like on QBC. Well,
Amy's gonna be in California, so we're gonna be together. Yeah,
So I have to fly to California for a Tricia
year would album release party at our I Heart Theater.

(31:19):
They're so convenient that it's in l A. And I
get to hang out with Mary, So yeah, I'm gonna
stay with her until like Saturday. So on Friday night,
we're gonna do a whole because we've been telling y'all
in case you've missed it or you forgot that the
sponsored totes are gonna We're gonna really push them that
night where you can finally log on and by by

(31:41):
a tote that we're going to fill up for teachers.
And we have companies that are on board. Yes, so
you can sponsor a toe. You're not going to get anything.
You're not gonna get the tote in the mail. We're
trying to figure out if there's a way we can
you know, people, if you spend money. You want to
get something, We get that that's not lost on us.
But it may be that you get of virtual high
five from us. We haven't quite figured it out yet.

(32:04):
We're gonna call people, We're gonna on the Facebook Live.
We're gonna call people like they do on QBC where
they're talking and then all of a sudden the phone
rings and they're like, oh, we got Cindy in Charlotte,
North Carolina. Hey Cindy. And then Cyndy' is like, oh
my gosh, I just fought five ruby diamond rings or something,
except for this in our case, it'll be oh my gosh,

(32:26):
I just sponsored to teacher four Things totes and I'm
so excited. And then we'll tell us a little bit
bit about yourself, Cindy Mary, pretend you're Cindy Well. I
like long walks on the beach carrying my four Things
toe and I love sponsoring things like And then also
part of that night, while people sponsor, the link will

(32:48):
be up to where you can submit teachers that could
possibly get the sponsored totes. And then the cool part
is we've got companies that are on board. We're trying
to we're working on that as we speak to fill
the totes up with all of these goodies, and then
they're gonna be shipped out randomly to teachers and they're
just going to get it as a surprise. And we
just can't wait for teachers to open these up and
be like what somebody submitted me? Or if you're a

(33:10):
teacher and you want to submit yourself totally, totally, we
are not above that, Like that's I would do that.
So you may get selected. We just don't know how
many submissions we're going to get versus how many totes
we're going to have sponsored, because that will make a
big difference because obviously we need the totes paid for.
So hopefully you'll will join us in that. So mark

(33:32):
your calendar now and I'll give you a reminder next week.
Next week, I have Kelly loveck On. Oh yeah, I
love Kelly. Kelly is awesome. That'll be a really good one. Yeah.
She is doing all four things, all four things. She's
a celebrity nutritionist. She also lives in California. She works
as Jessica Alba. Well, no, I mean Molly sins. Lots

(33:56):
of people, people, so many people, Hillary Um not Duff,
who's not hid? She work. Maybe know not Hillary Kerr,
but I was thinking of that. No, now I can't
think of who, but anyway, it doesn't matter. She is
pretty cool and awesome. So she's on all for things
next week and Mary and I will give you all
a reminder to to mark your calendars for Friday, September six,

(34:21):
eight pm Central on Facebook Friday Night Live. That's basically
going to be like QVC but for toads. We're gonna
have so much fun. So hopefully y'all will join us
all right over and not Mary, do you have anything
you want to say about me being anything about being
a second mom? I think she's an awesome second mom
and killing it. And yeah, I think it's like an

(34:43):
interesting position for you to be in that you're like
balancing really well by still acknowledging and like honoring their
first mom, not just like pretending like that never happened.
And I think that that's tricky because like it could
be like I don't know, selfishly, I would maybe want
to just be like I'm your mom now, like that's
but I totally I think it's awesome the way you're

(35:04):
doing it. And yeah, and then every situation is unique
and like I don't know if there's a right wrong
way to do it. So true because the first mom situation,
who knows if that's healthy enough for that to even
be a thing. But just I mean, that's still something
a child they know, they know, so unless it's a

(35:25):
big secret and they don't know for whatever reason. But
most kids, Yeah, Yeah, there's all kind of kinds of
DNA testing kids out there, and then they're going to
find out when they're eighteen and say what or probably
by the time who knows, in ten years there's somebody. Yeah,
it's not even gonna be some crazy tests. You can

(35:46):
probably just go to Walgreens and prick your finger and
it's going to give you all your relatives. Great. What
was that girl a Walgreens that Elizabeth Holmes? Elizabeth Holmes,
If y'all have not listened to the podcast about her,
what was that podcast called? Ummm, I can't think oh
impostor or something something like that. She Yeah, just just

(36:10):
type in Elizabeth Holmes and google it, because you'll find
the podcast that was done on her, and it is crazy.
But she basically had this whole Walgreens prick your finger
for some blood thing and it would tell you all
this stuff, but it wasn't real. It wasn't real, and
people that were investing, and it affect people's health, and yeah,
it really did. It affected people's health because they were

(36:32):
just kind of faking it till they make it. But
they never made it like Mary and are very pro
fake it till you make it. But people's life and
death and all the some people invested their life so
and then they never got it back. So yeah, fake
it till you make it, but not if it's affecting
people's lives like life or death and livelihood, because that's

(36:55):
just it's so wrong, it's so wrong. So well, thank
you Darcy for the email about about that. I know
that you know, she only emailed because she found it
interesting that I refer to myself as a second mom,
and I was like, well I am. So if you
two are considering adoption, just think about that as you're
going into it. Everybody's story is different, everybody's family looks different,

(37:16):
but just try to remember that, remember this, remember back
to this podcast and know that there is a first
mom out there and you don't know the whole If
you don't know the whole story, then you're just kind
of left wondering. But you don't want your kid to
just kind of never think about them either, because you
know they will be So make sure you make that
conversation comfortable. And I think by me still acknowledging their moms,

(37:38):
that conversation is going to be easier than if I
ignored it, and it's an open conversation. It's continually going yeah, exactly, okay,
over and hour bye. Well not by because there's still
more podcasts, but we're done with this thing. Okay. So

(38:01):
I've got my friend Caroline Hobby here with me, and
she has a podcast, Get Real Yes with Caroline Hobby.
Is that is there a tagline to Honest Women, Honest Talk?
There you go, Honest Women, Honest Talk. I knew it was.
I knew it was something catchy and good. So we're
on here to to talk about that in your podcast.
But also just I love your the joy that you

(38:24):
have and the honesty that you have, and the cute
little wattle that you have when you're walking up my
stairs with your pregnant belly. Now, depending on when people
are listening to this, you might have given birth. Yeah,
I mean, you're how far along? Thirty six weeks on Wednesday,
So when does this air? I don't know yet. Okay,
I'll be I'm full term by the time this air

(38:45):
is like, we're basically a full term, so it could
it could be any day now, and you could give
birth any moment. And you just came over. It's hot.
It's a Sunday when we're recording this, and it is
hot out and she came over straight from a walk
in the middle of the day, and I'm like, hi,
Stevenson was asking me to go ride his bike and
I walk while he rides, and like, buddy, it's too
hot right now. And then I'm looking at you, like

(39:05):
basically about to give birth walking and I'm like, you
know what, when we get done, I'm going on a wall.
It is hot out there. But I don't do any exercise,
and I haven't this whole pregnancy except for walking, So
I think it kind of keeps me feeling a touch normal,
just to be active a little bit, because I really
gave up exercising when I got pregnant. Before you got pregnant,

(39:25):
we did a lot of yoga together and I love
it and miss it right same. But you were real
hesitant at the beginning because you have gone through a miscarriage. Yeah.
I we had a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage, which
I didn't even know what a chemical pregny works. He
was it's like you get pregnant and it doesn't stick,
so it's like five weeks so it's super early on.
And then we had a miscarriage, and I just like

(39:47):
it gave me massive anxiety, like the whole losing and
then wondering if I will be able to keep a baby,
if it'll stick, and so I kind of just I
try to work out a little bit and do yoga,
and then I would have like a fullbawn panic attack afterwards.
So I'm like, you know what, I'm just not going
to work out the season of my life because even
though it's good for you and it's recommended to work out,

(40:08):
the anxiety it was giving me was so much more
intense counter productive that I was like, I'm just gonna
take a break. Yeah, but we've done our little neighborhood walks,
which isn't so fun because now I have a stroll
the stroller, hangg and you're about to have the baby
in the stroller, and you know, Stevenson's up there on
his little bike and then he's the mayor. He's like

(40:29):
the mayor of the neighborhood and he walks ahead or
rides ahead of us, and then we follow him with
strollers or whatnot. I mean, I don't have a stroller,
but um, that's been like fun. I think just finding
a community of girlfriends that you can do things with
is important and that that's what I think people love
about your podcast honestly, is you're bringing women together. Currently

(40:51):
you're interviewing a lot of or like your thing is
the wives in the business. So describe that a little bit,
because I do feel like a lot of people have
appreciated hearing the insight, and probably the wives had have.
They've liked an outlet to kind of share some things
and put it out there because some of them may
choose to be whatever their profession is just not in

(41:15):
the spotlight. But regardless, people still know who they are,
and some of them are are more out there than others.
But your podcast is giving them their side of the
story totally, and I feel that way. I sort of
haven't naturally because being married to Michael, who's in a
band of thousand horses, Like I started meeting all these
wives of other artists just by going on the road

(41:38):
or going to different events or just like being in
places where other wives of country music artists were. And
there's so many incredible women, and I know you know
a ton of them too, So many incredible women and
wives in this industry. And they have huge platforms now,
a lot of it due to social media that's like
so huge now, But they have platforms, and they have

(42:01):
such a strong voice themselves that I feel like doesn't
quite get heard as much as their husbands, doesn't get much,
doesn't get hurt as much as their husbands. And so
after getting to know these women, and I was doing
a podcast already, I was like, I wanted to start
just interviewing the wives and seeing their story, sharing their hearts.

(42:22):
And it turns out all of them have so much
to say, and they have so many things that they're
doing with their lives, and their stories are incredible, Like
some of their stories you would just never expect what
they've gone through, how they've overcome things, like their goals,
what they are trying to do to change the world,
and it's just so fascinating and they're so real and

(42:45):
honest and vulnerable, and they've been honest with their insecurities
and their struggles. And I think the feedback I get
the most is how relatable all these wives are and
just like no one knew because you look at their
Instagram or you like see them in a red carpet
and you're like, oh my gosh, their lives are flawless
and there are amazing they're amazing lives, but they're also
very real, and so I think getting to see this

(43:06):
real side of them has been like a really cool
experience for the women to be able to share that
and then for people to be able to see that.
Have you had any times where the husbands have gone
back and listened or had found out what their wife
said or something they're like, hey, what wait, I need
to tell my side of this story, Like why did
you share that? Wait a second, a little too much
like don't put that out there, or any wives that

(43:28):
have been like, oh, I don't know if I should
have said that. You know, I think there's like a
vulnerability hangover or something that happens sometimes because we are
just having like a real conversation and we're getting into
real topics and real life stuff. And I do think
sometimes women, the women will share a lot of things
that they're not trying to hide. But when you're just

(43:49):
having a casual conversation talking to a girlfriend, sometimes you
just share vulnerably, you know, And I think, like, you
know a lot. Sometimes people be like, oh my gosh,
can I edit this out? Or oh my gosh, like,
oh shoot, I think I overshared, And you know, I
don't really edit my podcast. It's just a podcast. It's
just a flee fu, free flowing conversation that either really
so I'm not going to edit that out. Yeah, yeah,

(44:12):
I just it's sort of a free flowing conversation. I
kind of think that's what makes it special, is that
it's not all like piece together, it's just a conversation.
And so I do get that sometimes the women, the
women and wives are like, oh my god, I wish
I would have said this differently or did I say
that said too much? But overall, I feel like all

(44:32):
of my guests are so incredible and their hearts are
so good, and they're so pure and they want to
do such great things with their lives that then being
vulnerable just makes people more in love with them. Do
you have one like if someone's listening right now and
they didn't know about your podcast, Like one that stands
out to you. I know that you love all these women,
but not necessarily your favorite person by any meanings, but

(44:53):
one that stood out to where you've got a lot
of feedback or a lot of you know, people it
resonated with them that people should maybe start with if
they were to go find one. Yeah, I recommend you
just always kind of start from the beginning and then
you have something to kind of binge for a long time.
But if there was an episode they that you wanted
them to look for. I think the one I deal
with Caroline Brian has gotten a ton of response because

(45:18):
she's married to Luke Brian, who's such a superstar. But
then you get to know Caroline and she has so
many layers to her. She's hilarious first off, which I
did not know until she got on Instagram a couple
of years ago and started like pranking all of her
family and putting it up there, and I'm like, oh
my god, she's the funniest person on earth. I know,
like living in their house seems like it would be amazing,
like so fun. I know, I was like my house

(45:39):
is so lame, like I need to be. I've seriously
had the thought of, like I just need to chill
out in my house and we need to live more
like the Brian's and just prank everybody and have fun.
And I know I just want to be like her too,
And she's beautiful, and so that to me is it
starts off like she and Luke are so fun and
they're so fun spirited, and they're so like they're so

(46:01):
hot on top of it, and then they have this
huge career. But then you start getting into the podcast
and you realize while there's so many layers, like they've
been through so much, so much tragedy, and from him
losing his siblings, them adopting his siblings children, to her
brother losing his child who had down sid room when
she was one, and starting a charity called Brett's Barn

(46:24):
and her honor and like just helping children with disabilities.
And it's just like they're so beautiful, they're so talented,
they're so fun, they're so lighthearted, but yet there's these
this depth of this layer and all these layers to
them that they choose to view so positively and embrace
all the tragedy that's happened with such a positive spirit
that it's just so inspiring. Yeah, I would agree, And

(46:46):
I listened to that one and it's definitely good, So
I agree that is one to start with for sure.
Britney Kelly's was also awesome to who's married to Brian
Kelly of Florida, George. I haven't listened to that one
because she grew up and like she witnessed not witness
her parents or her mom was like murdered, and then

(47:07):
she was raised by her grandmother and she ended up
then getting taken in by some friends. And I mean
I might not be saying this all perfectly because it's
been a minute since we had the interview, But then
she always had dreams to go to college and be
creative and start a business and have this entrepreneurial spirit,
and she just made it happen for herself. Like she
is such a hustler and she has Tribe Kelly. She

(47:28):
started Tribe Kelly, that clothing line, and she's just so
driven and she overcame so much tragedy as a young
child and a young person and she had no idea,
I know, and then just to get to this place
where she's so positive and she's so beautiful, and obviously
she and Brian had this really amazing life, but she
just overcame so much. And that's a big part of

(47:49):
the podcast too. It's like you would never know these
women overcame so much, or like went through so much,
or we're dealing with all of this, these other moments
that aren't that aren't shiny, that aren't happy, that are set,
that are hard, but yet they're persevering, they're learning from
them there moving on and making great things in their
life and using all this as just inspiration to be better,

(48:10):
you know. Yeah, And I think inspiration for others. And
I love that you're giving them a place to talk.
I mean, and I'm sure they have other places that
they talk to, but yours is a place where or people,
if we want to listen, we can go and we
can hear all these stories and all the different layers
and each story you never know what listener of yours
that's going to offer comfort to. And I feel like
that's why when I'm sitting down to do what I do,

(48:32):
it's like we just wanna if I can bring comfort
to one. First of all, I like to pretend one
person just listening anyways, but thankfully there's more than one.
But I you know, if I connect with one person
or like on their drive to work, whether they're listening
to the Bobby Bones Show or they're listening to the
podcast now like whatever that is, and maybe someone right
now needs to hear about the importance of community and

(48:54):
women and sharing and being vulnerable and not that that
means you have to go share your story with the
whole world and everybody has to know. But like not
to keep stuff in because then you know it's not
helping you to stuff it down, but then you're missing
out on an opportunity to help others. And it's scary
to share. Being vulnerable is very scary, But I agree

(49:15):
with you. I think it is so helpful and so
important a for yourself to like heal and get that
out there. But also when you can share something that's
so vulnerable, you're gonna touch someone else, because that's something
I've learned from doing all these podcasts. We're all just
in on this human experience and nobody is getting out
of here without some scars and bruises and pain, and

(49:37):
so like, if we can share it and like come
together it makes us feel not alone and sharing, Like
you may be listening to this, and again I'll reiterate,
because it doesn't have to be You don't have to
be on a podcast to share, you know, to have
a platform to share. It could be just reaching out
to a family member to share or a friend to share.
And I'm bad about that too. Sometimes I feel like

(49:59):
I share so much at because it's my job to
share it. And we as a show from early on, Bobby,
you know, we laid the groundwork for we're going to
share our lives, the good and the bad. Um, So
I've been hard. Is that scary for you or you
used to enough? You know? I think at first it
was hard. It was hard for Ben, my husband, because
he's through and so I would put so much out

(50:20):
there that he'd be like, I mean, I would come
home from more, especially early on. We've been married twelve years,
so rewind twelve years ago. I would get phone calls
after the show and he'd be like, my friend just
called me and told me that you said this on
the radio about our life, and like he's like, that's
that's art, and I'm like, babe, WHOA Like, you know,
my job is to share, and I want to put

(50:40):
it out there like I want to share. I mean,
we don't share every little detail. Don't get me wrong,
because there's some stuff that should be kept private until
maybe it shouldn't. I don't know, but that that was
the hardest part, I think, was sharing things that other
people in my life that affects weren't okay with and
then I would have I'd feel bad. So now I
didn't you move through that? Now we have a better system.

(51:01):
Hey are you cool? If I talk about this? Okay?
You kind of run a mind. But I still mess
up because sometimes we're just going with the flow on
the shop and I'll end up saying things and he'll
he sits on stuff for a little bit because he
really likes to think it through. And it happened just
last week. We were on a walk in the evening
and I know what I said. I won't repeat it
here just because then I'm saying, no need to say

(51:23):
it again. But it had happened like two days before
that walk, and he said, Hey, you know, I was
listening back to the Bobby Bone Show replay and you
kind of said this. He goes, I need you to understand,
like for me, that was something that was a really
big deal. And when it's I don't want you talking
about it, and I was like, oh, I thought it was.

(51:44):
We were kind of over that and I could talk
about it and again, maybe somebody else could relate, but
he's but that's his story, right mine. So now I
know and I'm not going to bring it up again.
And but it was bad. I mean, but he we've
matured a lot. I think back in the day he
would have hit me right away, and then now he's like,
I'm gonna think on this, and when I do bring

(52:05):
it to her, I'm gonna stay calm, and I'm gonna say, hey,
you know when you did this, not like already get mad.
That's amazing, because it is. I'm sure it is difficult,
because the thing that makes y'all show so great and
you so great is your vulnerability and your willingness to share.
But yeah, I mean, when you have your family involved
and maybe someone else, isn't it comfortable? I could totally

(52:25):
see how that could get. And sometimes that's what I'm saying.
I could see where some of these wines are sitting
down with you and it's like, get real. And then
They're like, you already are their friend, so it just
seems like friends just chatting, and then when it airs,
they might be like, oh my god, you know. And
that's why I was thinking maybe sometimes if their husbands
ever get win. But like even when you were doing
the Caroline Brian, when like Luke was there and he

(52:46):
walked in, he was there in the beginning, and actually
we had um Caroline had gone through a miscarriage too,
and I had just gotten pregnant when I was interviewing her,
and so I was like super excited, pregnant again not
after the miscarriage, and I was super excited, but also
super anxious because I was scared it wasn't gonna stick.
And um, Luke was like, I just think people he

(53:08):
walked in his like, I just think people need to
be open about it and talk about these kind of things.
It's important to share this. And I was like, that's
really awesome. I mean, and I know it took incredible
strength for you to come out and share that. And
I think I can think of a handful of girls
that have done so because in Instagram gives a platform
to do that too and share. And I do see
more and more women talk about it, and I know

(53:30):
it's not easy, but so I do commend it um
but I don't know because I've never experienced it. I
don't know, but I feel like it's you're the more.
When one person talks about it can be like a
domino effect to where the other because I feel like
so many women suffer in silence, yes, and they don't
they do feel like they're alone, and then they there's

(53:53):
a cycle I'm sure of, like blaming yourself and just
not feeling worthy well. And also like the thing that
it's also over my eye is too, is just the
pregnancy journey in general, and just like I you try
your whole life not to get pregnant, you know, and
then all of a sudden, like you want to have
a baby, and it's like, wow, this is not easy,

(54:14):
you know. And it's like it just gives me a
lot of empathy for this whole experience of parenthood because
you know, there's like there's a million ways to become
a parent, and it's just like it's not it's I
have so many friends who have gone through so many
things in their journey, and it just makes you realize

(54:35):
we are just all in this together and it's emotional.
I mean it makes me cry. It's like the whole
journey is emotional because it's just like you can't plan it.
You don't know what's going to happen, and you just
have to deal with the deal with the cards that
you're dealt and just trust in the bigger picture and
just follow your follow your journey and just you know,
see see how it all unfolds. But it's emotional. It's

(54:56):
really a emotional journey, and a lot of women are
on it. You know. It's not like I would say
it's less normal for people just to get pregnant. You know,
even though you see people getting pregnant all the time,
it's still there's you don't know all the women and
it's suffering in silence or because you don't know them
and you can't see that their belly isn't sticking out

(55:17):
eight months big. But they may have infertility, they may
have had miscarriages, so you don't know the whole Yeah,
but there's probably a lot more women. It's harder to
get pregnant, it is. Yeah, So I just I've actually
and even though that's it's been like a an emotional
journey that whole process to get pregnant. I really am

(55:39):
grateful for it because it's opened my eyes so much
to just just having so much grace. Yes, and too,
I feel like it has you like loving your body
like you love your pregnant body. And I love that
you're doing that and your vocal about on Instagram, which
Caroline's Instagram is at carol Hobby c A R O
H O B B whe and so you can go

(56:01):
check it out and follow her whatever. But you you are,
You're like, okay, here it is like you're trying on
swimsuits all kinds of pregnant at Walmart, and but you're
just like, you know, and you're dealing with changes in
your body that you haven't had to deal with. But
but you're like, I'm carrying a baby. I'm bringing a
new life into this world. I don't care. Yeah, it's
giving me a big gratitude for it because I think before,

(56:23):
I mean honestly, before, I was like I would kind
of obsessive about like weight and appearance and stuff. You know,
you and I talked about two. We both have a
past with eating eating disorders and all like sorts of stuff.
You know, it's just so caught up in all that,
and after trying to get pregnant, not being able to,

(56:43):
and then finally getting pregnant, I was like, you know,
I just I'm grateful to be able to carry this baby,
and it's crazy what's happening to my body. And yes,
sometimes my vanity flares up a little bit and I'm like,
oh my god, this is insane. But it's also just
like I'm it's such a wild ride that I'm just embracing.
I feel more comfortable being naked than ever before. And

(57:07):
sorry that I sent you like three dozen tips treats.
Oh god, that was such a surprise. I don't know.
And it's also I just like if everyone's like, have
you had cravings when you're pregnant, And I'm like, I
think it's more of an excuse. I have always had cravings,
but I just had more discipline before I get pregnant,
and now that I'm pregnant, I'm like, oh, yeah, i

(57:28):
can eat six cookies in one setting, or go to
Chick fil A get a chocolate chip Oreo milkshake every
day because I'm pregnant. Yeah, why not? Whereas before I
don't know if it's if it's the baby if it's me,
you know, like before you like you know it's you, right,
and now you have the baby to blame a little
bit exactly. I love your honesty. I also love again

(57:52):
your positivity. I said at the beginning, you're someone that's
full of joy, and I know that that's I feel
like the more I get to know you and I
know a little bit of your family, and like, I
feel like that's probably just your your spirit, your vibe.
You kind of always been and your mom's very like
very much the joy and like the you know, I

(58:12):
love everybody, and I think that that's great. But I
also to admire that you you want to put the
positivity out there and you I so I encourage people
to follow along with you, to check out get Real,
to check you out on Instagram, because you know you
are joy and positivity and light and well you're so sweet.

(58:34):
I definitely have the other side too, like and I think, yes, oh,
I didn't finish my sentence. I got sidetracked because I
was thinking, like I feel like some of that is
just you know, there's nature and nurture. I feel like
your parents like are positive people, like you were you
were raised to be that way, but also I can
tell some of it's it's a choice, Like you know
that you could choose to be one way or another,

(58:54):
and you actively try to be that light to people.
I can definitely sink to the bottom of the well
and to sit in my deep dark feelings of just
I'm so emotional that if I let myself just ride
my emotions down to the bottom, I mean I could
get lost down there. And I have, like, especially in
my twenties, I would get so lost in my feelings

(59:15):
and just um, I could just like get wrapped up
in these waves of emotion and just feel so sad
and overwhelmed by feelings. And so I think that I
have definitely actively worked on always choosing the positive, because
it feels pretty bad when you're really like sad and
let yourself sink to the bottom and get stuck in

(59:36):
those feelings. So I think, through like therapy, growing up,
just getting older, and like living life, I'm like, Okay,
I actively want to see the positive side and not
get swept away with feelings that are more like depressing. Yeah, no,
I love it. I feel like we had a little
well rounded chat here. I hope people learned to find

(59:57):
the girl friends that you can go on with and
share things with and and talk with um or whoever
that looks like in your life. Maybe it's not a girlfriend,
maybe it's a guy friend, or maybe it's a spouse.
I feel like sometimes even your significant other or your boyfriend,
like you're not being open sharing and for whatever reason,

(01:00:18):
sometimes we can be guarded. So whatever that looks like
for you, this is our encouragement. And then also too,
don't say stay stuck in the bottom of the barrel,
like choose the joy, the positivity, and you you are
so good to choose enjoy. I don't feel like I'm
as good as you. You know, you're like all about
the life. No, you're so good about himp and enjoy. Yeah,

(01:00:41):
I'm himp and enjoy. My mom was the original joy pimper.
But I feel like I can get stuck in a rut.
I mean, yeah, I have to have probably all rely
on each other for encouragement and inspiration, like I see
you doing it, maybe you see me doing it or
another person doing it, and then we feed off of that.
So that's another good thing about doing it is because
again it's that domino effect. It can spread. But I

(01:01:03):
do think it's okay to feel both sides, because when
you feel the other side, it makes you appreciate having joy,
and it makes you really want to have joy, you know,
like if you just I think knowing both sides is
not a bad thing. And also it gives you a
depth of empathy for people. Yes, And I think you know,
even when I talked about my mom being the original
pimper of joy, like pimp and Joy started with her

(01:01:25):
because of her motto of choosing joy during cancer um
and that was our that was our motto, like that
was our theme, but it certainly wasn't every day. And
she would even say and it was important for my
sister and I and her to remember, like, Okay, yeah,
we're all choosing joy, but right now this sucks and
these are my real feelings and I'm gonna go cry
and I'm angry and I'm mad, and we would it

(01:01:47):
was important you're right to live in that just because
you're a pimp and Joy doesn't mean you can do
it all the time. I saw Ellen say that on
her I watched her like her, Ellen, but she says
like be kind to one another or whatever at the
end of her show, and she said, it's so frustrating
because now she's like the kind girl, like she's not

(01:02:08):
allowed to not be to be in a bad mood
because she's like be kind to one another. But she's like,
because sometimes I have a bad day. Trust me, Like
Mary and I talk about how if we're wearing or
anybody else for that matter. Sometimes because she handles all
the customer service emails for the shop Forward, and someone
will be so upset about their Pimp and Joy order

(01:02:28):
and they'll be like cussing and saying that things and
like all the stuff, and she's like, wait, do we
even want to mail you this Pimp and Joy hat
or sure or whatever, because like you are not representative
of joy, Which I get it. We all have bad days,
but like maybe when you're ordering a shirt about choosing
joy and spreading joy, you should like exude the joy um.
But then there's even times where I've had to check myself.

(01:02:51):
And I think Mary even posted something on Instagram the
other day because she was at the airport and she
had on She was like, probably shouldn't have worn a
Joy shirt to the airport, not filling it, because yeah,
it's like you never know, we worked with this guy too.
He used to work a lot with the Bobby Bones
Show and it would travel a lot, and he had
the worst airport temper and he would wear a pimp
and Joy hat and I would be like, before you

(01:03:11):
go talk to the airline people, off your hat because
you're I know you, and you're not about to be
representative of joy. So yeah, like it is that I
feel ellen on that, like, yeah, be kind, Oh shoot,
oh shoot, I've in a really bad mood today, right,
I know that's that's that's that fine line. You know,

(01:03:31):
I know humanity. But I have to say what you
and what Bobby and what y'all show has done and
all the love and joy you'll have spread is truly remarkable.
Well it's because of our listeners, Like they're amazing, but
it's amazing that you guys have given your listeners a
platform to be able to get involved in help and
spread joy and give to causes. I think that's just
it's incredible way you are doing your platform. Way to go,

(01:03:53):
you guys all you're listening, Yes, the way to go.
I won't thank you, uh just for that thinking them,
bring the opportunity to thank them. I think that's what
Mary will post that a lot too. On the shop
for it. She'll just be like when she's looks at
the donation amount, she's like, this is insane. It's crazy,
and it's literally only because people have wanted to come
alongside and and represent whatever we happened to be putting

(01:04:17):
out there. Um So, I think I was gonna kind
of do a recap, but knowing us, we could probably
keep going and going and going. And I started to recap.
I know, um but now now I gotta go on
my walk because now I'm motivated because the pregnant girl
out meeting me. Um So, but I think I recaped

(01:04:41):
a little bit about finding your group, Like I'm trying
to think of like the takeaways here is like find
your someone that you can share with, be vulnerable with,
like so you can have that connection and you don't
feel alone. And then also too, and then we covered
a couple of the other ones. But then I just
want to encourage people. Yeah they haven't checked out your
podcast to do it? Hey things, Yeah, it's get real.

(01:05:02):
And you do interact a lot with people on Instagram
that send your comments. I love when you You're good
about that, Like your screenshott and you're like, this is awesome,
like you love the interaction. Um, once that baby comes,
it might change a little bit because I realized with
my two kids, I'm like, oh man, sometimes I see
things people are doing on Instagram. But that's another thing
we need to not do, is compare. We can't compare.
Oh god, let's just wrap with that, because like that

(01:05:24):
is the truth. Like, and I trust so hard not
to compare, but sometimes you just can't help compare. And
social media is so amazing because it's such a great
platform for so many such a great outlet, and it's
such a great platform in so many ways. But it
really can make you feel bad about yourself too, sometimes
that you're not doing enough, or that you're not enough
or you know, who knows what. So we're just gonna

(01:05:46):
end up by telling everyone listening that they are enough.
You are enough. You are enough, You are enough. And
just because someone has an awesome social media post doesn't
mean that they don't have a bad day too. Yeah,
and be kind and be kind, but Caroline and I
are allowed to not became some days if we don't
want to. Yeah, just like Ellen, Yeah, Okay, So vulnerability

(01:06:16):
is definitely something that we cover a lot on this
podcast with myself with you guys, with guests that we
have on a big fan of Burnet Brown up in here,
which if you're not familiar with for work, you know
it centers around being vulnerable. And I also follow this
life coach from Austin name is Sarah Sherwood. I met
her at this retreat. I went to a couple of

(01:06:37):
summers ago at Jessica Honiger's ranch several girls she had
out there, and Sarah was kind of like our life
coach for the weekend. And she's awesome and so smart
and amazing, and she just was able to like put
things into perspective where you like, huh, I never looked
at it that way. So you could follow along her
website Sarah Dasherwood dot com. She's she's great. I sign

(01:06:58):
up for email blast so I get little emails from
her every once in a while that just kind of
stick with me. And she send out one talking about
vulnerability and how one of the myths is weakness, and
I know that that's a common thing for people to think, like, oh,
I don't want to get vulnerable because I don't want
to come across as weak, so I thought I would
read this. It's just like a quick little thing here,

(01:07:19):
and maybe it's something that one of you needs to hear.
So here's what Sarah wrote. Culturally, we are raised to
believe that, regardless of what is going on, we need
to armor up, brace against the difficulty, soldier on and
push through. If we're not able to do this, then
we are weak. But this does not bear up under
the research findings of what it means to live courageously.

(01:07:41):
In Burnet Brown's research on shame, vulnerability, and courage, she says,
you can only imagine for me personally what it meant
to look back over thirteen pieces of data and not
be able to find a single example of courage. That
wasn't all about vulnerability. Vulnerability isn't about weakness, It's about strength.
It exemplifies the courage to show up, take risk, be

(01:08:04):
seen even when there is no certainty of the outcome.
Courage is all about telling our stories with our whole heart.
We find connection when we are present in our lives
in spite of the imperfect, messy parts. We sometimes falter
in our attempt to live holdheartedly because when we believe
vulnerability is weakness. We can also believe some paradoxes of vulnerability.

(01:08:27):
We may think vulnerability is courage and strength in another person,
but it is weakness in ourselves. Often it is the
first thing we look for when meeting someone new. We
want to know that they're real, but it's the last
thing we want to expose within ourselves. Any of this
resonating with you all, so uh anyway, that's what Sarah wrote,

(01:08:48):
and I was like, Okay, wow, Like thank you for that, Like,
and just think about it. Think about what you expect
of other people, and then what are you willing to
show up with and open up about when it comes
to yourself. So one of the myths of vulnerability weakness
and that if I was supposed to read that for you,
then I hope you take it with you. I think

(01:09:09):
we all can kind of try to keep that in
our back pocket as a reminder to be open when
we need to be. It doesn't mean we have to
walk around being vulnerable all day long to anybody and everybody,
but I think you know the right times where you
need to open up and it's okay. It actually takes
courage to do so, and you are strong. You are
not weak, So thank you Sarah Sherwood for that. Okay,

(01:09:34):
that's a wrap on today's episode. I've got my email
shout out here, but quickly before I get to that,
thank you to Lisa for coming on and Caroline Hobby.
You'll can follow them on Instagram. That would be awesome
if you listen and you really enjoyed them sending a
note like, hey heard you on Amy's podcast. You're great.
Everybody loves a little encouragement. You never know what kind
of day somebody's having. In a little note like that

(01:09:56):
might totally brighten their day. And then all So Mary
still sitting here for the autro, but send her a note,
Hey loved the thing you did with Amy. She's at
Mary Underscore on Instagram. But the real where she does
like a lot of stories and then post stuff is
she's always over on the Shop Forward as well, so

(01:10:18):
you can hit her up there too. So email shout
out Mary. You're gonna like this because it has to
do with Hey, Amy. My name is Hannah Wiley and
I'm from a small town in Kansas. I just wanted
to share some thoughts with you as I just completed
my first of many college assignments. The assignment asked me
to share a story that has impacted my life. I
chose to write about Pimp and Joy and how you

(01:10:38):
and your family have changed my outlook on life completely.
Your story is incredibly relatable, humbling, and inspiring to me.
Is I have a similar story. My grandmother just passed
away after battling brain cancer for many years. Towards the
end of her life, she suffered she couldn't walk, talk,
or eat. My family relied heavily on the Bobby Bones
Show for our daily dose of positivity. Family's conversations or

(01:11:01):
and are like seventy five per cent talking about y'all.
My relationship with my grandmother was and will always be
a big part of who I am. Because of you
and the Pimp and Joy movement, I began to see
the importance of finding the good and every day, no
matter how big the struggles were. My perspective on life
changed tremendously as I was no longer dwelling on the negatives,
but I began to see how I could impact the

(01:11:23):
lives of others by choosing joy. Although my grandmother may
not be here with us anymore, I'm comforted knowing that
I will spread Joy in her honor. Although we don't
personally know each other, I feel like we are BFFs
L O L. I can't thank you enough for everything
you've done for me and my family. You have truly
changed our lives. Thanks again, Hannah and him of this
email means a lot, and I know that you're you're

(01:11:44):
writing it to me, so there was a lot of
like you. But the pimp and Joy thing is such
a It's started with my mom and it's her story
and then like through the Bobby Bones Show and then
Mary with the Shot Forward, we brought it to life
as a movement, like with the hashtag and putting it
out there and the apparel, the hats, the shirts, the sweatshirts,

(01:12:06):
the totes, the coffee mugs. Did you'll know there's pimp
Enjoy coffee mugs? I bet you didn't. What there is
the license light covers, the sticker decals. I mean, there's
all kinds of different ways where you can just see.
And I love when you'll see pimp Enjoy out about
randomly and you take a picture and you send it
to us that I mean and that I love that. Yeah,
that's so cool. So uh, I just wanna thank you

(01:12:29):
for taking the time to email Hannah, and I'm sorry
that you lost your grandma. Um. I know that just sucks,
like I hate that for you, but yeah, we got
to look for the good no matter what. And I
know that she would love and appreciate that you are
now spreading joy and choosing joy in her honor because
she would want that for you. So you were doing

(01:12:49):
the right thing for sure. So shout out to my
mom the o G pimper of joy. I know what
would she say if she liked to. I mean, I
feel like my mom would freak out because she she
passed away unfortunately too early on in it. She she saw,
she was already freaking out at what was happening then

(01:13:09):
just with the hashtag, because she wasn't she passed away
a few weeks before we launched the first hat so
any merch, So yeah, she would. She couldn't believe people
were actually gravitating towards it and actually doing it. Sorry,
my dog just took a deep breath and snored. But
she I think she would just I feel like, I

(01:13:32):
don't know, she handles everything so well and she was
a humble person anyways, so she would probably find it
pretty unbelievable, but she would give glory to God. I
first think that's exactly what she did. She'd be like, well,
this is God, not me, and she would think it
was amazing. She'd probably cry freak out, especially because like

(01:13:52):
millions of dollars now been donated to various causes that
I mean, and it's because of you shopping you guys
doing it or just spreading the word about pimp and
Joy or using the hashtag or wrapping your gear or
you know, doing like Hannah, just uh, looking at tough
situations in your life and being like, you know what

(01:14:15):
this is. This is how I'm going to handle it
because it's really easy to get set and there's gonna
be days where it's not easy to do that. And
I get that we're not perfect, and it's okay to
have those tough days and just live in those emotions
and those feelings that maybe aren't so joyful and positive.
But I think if your overall theme right when you
agree is to choose joy and make the best of things,

(01:14:38):
you'll just your life will feel a lot more better
and fulfilled and not so like I just want to
crawl in my bed and not ever come out. Although
those days, those days are fun, especially if there's something
really good to binge on Netflix. Um okay, well, thank
you Hannah for the email, and thanks for listening to
this episode, especially if you're listening right now, because I

(01:14:59):
means you see the whole thing. Shout out. Be kind
to Joy. Never lie. He can't. He can't be kind Joy,
never lie. Cast up roath things, little food for yourself.
So life ain't always pretty, but hey, it's pretty beautiful
things beautiful. Laugh a little more. Families tightened up because

(01:15:24):
Course said he can't cut your kicking. With four with
Amy Brown

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