June 17, 2025 • 52 mins
Amy and Kat are feeling extra energized today!! Amy details her pretend vacation with her boyfriend and Kat shares how a chill weekend left her wanting to “call in healthy” to work. Patience paid off for Amy and that’s made clear when she tells us why a simple text from Ben (her ex-husband) warmed her heart. Amy & Kat also dive into a big listener question that came in via voicemail: what happens when you’re a foodie but your partner has an eating disorder? They also talk ‘Cinema Sunday’ and share an email from a listener that lives in Finland!!
Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won Amy
and Cat gotcha Covin locking No, brother, Ladies and folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's all
the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Cat and I just like to start off the episode
with a little cat brag, A brag about Cat. Okay, Like,
if anyone has ever questioned your skills, I just want
to say you have them and they shouldn't question you
at all. So we have a listener voicemail coming out
that we're gonna play in the episode, and the topic
(00:50):
of it is marrying someone with an eating disorder, and
it's a female listener. Like when I was just reading
the transcript, it's from Corey, and I got all excited.
We have a voicemail from a male listener and I
was like, and I think he's marrying someone with an
eating disorder, which unfair of me. I saw Corey. I thought, man,
I thought woman with the eating disorder. Well, then we
(01:13):
hit the voicemail and I heard a female voice and
I was like oh. And then I think I said, well,
maybe she's a lesbian. And I was like, okay, no men, yes,
is this a reminder that men can have stuff with
food and body and all the things.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
We know that.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
But as we're listening to the voicemail, because we listened
to the entire thing before we started recording, and Cat
just goes, oh, sounds like arfid Is that how? He said?
Then the listener, well, y'all hear coming up in the voicemail.
But there was a moment where immediately after you said that,
the listener says something and I was like ah. I
(01:52):
looked at Kat and I was like, dang, you're good,
and You're like, no, I'm just using the things that
i've learned to put too two together. She literally was
describing something, and I I shared my opinion. Now, obviously,
as a therapist on this podcast, you're never diagnosing anybody
with anything because you can't. They're not your client. And
(02:12):
what's that book?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
The D five Diagnostic nine Artistical Manual. Five. We're on
five d S and five.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, we need a six soon, which I don't know
when that's coming out, but I think it's funny that
you were like, oh my gosh, you knew that when
that was a to me, it's just that's basic, so
sided advance. I hope that you would think I have
basic too.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
You you have basic and advanced knowledge. I just would say,
I'm impressed.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Oh, thank you, thank you, pause, pause, pause, pose, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Okay, there we go, which that reminds me. I complimented
something to my boyfriend the other day, and I guess
he listened to that episode or he saw the social
clip or something, because I gave him a compliment and
he looked at me and he was like, thank you,
pos pas pos posas.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
And I was like, oh, that's not part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
You keep saying that, yeah, thank you, because that's supposed
to someone compliments you, even if it feels backhanded, because
that wasn't at all. It wasn't my intention to be like, oh, man,
Kat's so smart and you're like any that's basic. Obviously,
I have basic skills. I just just impressed, thank you.
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
To How to say you're welcome to somebody? You just
want to keep going and talking.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
And I just have to be like, wow, she accepted it, okay,
and I can just say then nada. We're going to
get to the feeling of the day, which is from me.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
You Yes, I have it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I am feeling energized, and I'm feeling energized because I
had a very normal weekend, which is funny because I
still did things. It's not like I didn't leave my house,
but we did very low key things. This morning, I
woke up early, like before my alarm. I was like, oh,
I wanted to get things started. Was folding my laundry
(03:59):
before I was getting ready. And then I was you know,
as you do in the morning scrolling Instagram.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You're not supposed to do that. You're a therapist. You
should november.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I said that doom scrolling, which I wasn't doom scrolling.
I was just taking a break. Scrolling isn't always bad.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You've said that, like on a previous episode.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So I came across this meme and it said we
should be able to call in healthy to work, and
then it had in quotes, look, I am not coming
in today. I feel good and I don't want to
waste it on being at work right.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Like, I feel awesome, and if I'm at work, what
a waste.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, my thought was like, Okay, why do we only
get to call out of work when we're not feeling good?
But we don't get to take advantage of our best days.
We have to use our best days to be productive at.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Work, because how many of those days do we really have.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I was feeling pretty good and I almost called you
and said I'm not coming in today.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Record we want you energized. So yeah, no, I couldn't
do that, but that's a good thought.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Then I was like, I guess we have you can
have like a mental health day, or I guess you
have PTO.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, if you want to take all your paid times off.
But some people's jobs good, like my job requires me
to be there because I'm a voice on a show,
Like I'm an active participant. Now if I sat at
a desk and maybe it didn't matter when I got
my work done or I did I wasn't dependent on
other people at the exact same time, that might work.
Like an accountant or something.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Like Patrick could do it, yes, but he doesn't call
out of work because he's always stressed because his job
is stressful. So nobody can really do this I can't.
That would be awful if I was, like, I'm feeling
my best, I'm definitely not going to go.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Help people today.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I really want to feel terrible when.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I'm giving you advice, because honestly, when I'm sick, when
I just have like a cold or something and I'm
not like deathly ill, I don't really mind going to
work because I'm like, what else am I going to do?
I can't really do anything with my day. It's better
to be sick during the week than sick on a weekend.
But that doesn't really no man now.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
But I'm glad you're feeling energized and awesome. I wonder
what that's about.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Well, I think it's because I didn't run myself into
the ground this weekend.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
You were low key.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
I was channeling you vibes.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I love weekends like that. But I doesn't mean
I'm extra energized on a Monday or anything. I just
love low key weekends. I have those days though, that
you're talking about, like once a month maybe or so.
I know it's part of my hormone cycle. I know
what it is. I don't know what hormones getting released,
but there is something that's happening or not happening, whichever
(06:33):
hormone is active or not active. That really just helps
me feel amazing and then it goes away.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Well, now I'm trying to think of like what if
it's hormone related to me, But it wouldn't be because I.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Thought you were supposed to get crazy or something.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I am about. Well you haven't yet.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
I know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Well, confession, that's patrick that he might say something else,
although we did talk about it the other day because
I said to him, he did something with my car,
he did something nice. He got my oil chain for
me because I really hate doing that. But he accidentally
connected his he messed up the like connection of the
phones and whatever. I was one of those things where
(07:10):
I was overreacting for sure, and I knew it. And
I sent him this text that was like, you have
to fix this.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
You better. It was something like you better fix this
or something, and he.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Responded I know because he like, yes, this was after
he did something nice for me, Chase.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
This is what I said.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I said, I'm so annoyed right now, you better fix this.
And in my head, I'm like, Catherine, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (07:36):
He is so nice?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I was talking myself down from this, and he just responded, Okay,
no problem. I almost don't know if he didn't read
it in a sassy tone, because he was like, of course,
she's not being mean to me.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Why would she be mean to me? I just did
her a favor.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
But then later I was talking to him and I said,
I'm sorry I overreacted. I was just really stressed and
I was hot and I was late to where I
was going. And he said, that's like, it's okay as
long as you recognize that you're doing that. And I said,
if you ever spoke to me that way, it would
not be okay. You know, like if can you imagine
(08:10):
Patrick send me a text and it's like, you better
fix this.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm so annoyed with you. I know I cannot imagine that.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Like that's such a double standard. So I blamed it
on my hormones. And then he said, I really don't
think you're being that much. Now that I'm telling the story,
it makes me wonder because he's like, I really don't
think you're being that much different.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He's like, that sounded pretty much like how you talk.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
He did say.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
He said, when you get frustrated, you always are quick
to apologize, so he's it's not like you're not recognizing
when you're being cucku.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
He would never say cuku. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I think that my boyfriend is a lot like Patrick
and the just not playing into the cuckoo, which isn't
perplexing to me because I'm like, why are you not
We've sort of talked about this before, like either he's
not like gonna add fuel to the fire, like I'm
maybe wanting to engage a little bit, like ruffle the
(09:06):
feathers and I'll I'm feel.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
A little brink.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Maybe I don't know what it is, but I do it.
And then he just like it falls flat.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
But I'm like, chaos you're trying to create fall flat?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, because it's what it feels like. It falls flat.
But I think he's like, I'm just not going to
engage in this, Like whatever this is, I'm just going
to ignore it and it will go away. And it does.
But I had to really talk myself out of it
the other day. I'm like, don't keep going, don't keep going,
don't keep going, because I was trying to poke a
little bit and I don't know why. Just like you,
(09:40):
I was aware of it, like I am aware right now,
this is not very rational, but I don't care, but
it was. I know it was hormones. Then the next day,
I think I started my period, and I was like, oh,
it all makes sense now, Like it's validation because you
know when you're aware of the crazy and then you
you still hit send and then they're like, yeah, what
(10:04):
do you want for dinner?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
And I'm like, I think part of it. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
For Alex, I'm gonna say make an assumption. For Patrick,
I think he never assumes I'm trying to be mean,
or he never assumes I'm trying to be rude, or
he never assumes that. So he doesn't read into things
the way that I might read into them. So when
I sent that text, I think he probably read it
with a normal tone. So he was like, oh, she's annoyed,
(10:29):
but no problem, I'll fix it later. I don't think
he thought I was.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I could be wrong, yeah, but we know how you felt.
You were like you better fix this. Yeah. Well, speaking
of texts, yeah, I got one for my ex husband.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
Were you poking that bad?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Okay, I wasn't. This is actually like a good text
where I was like, oh, look, how far we have
come because he was texting me about celebrating something for
our son, and he said that our son wanted to
do it the whole family altogether, so that would be me,
his mom, his dad, his sister. And then the last
(11:09):
sentence of the text, he was like, and I think
Alex should come too, And I was like, oh, okay,
well that would be fun. Not that Ben wouldn't ever
want to include Alex, It's just that there was a
season where Ben wasn't It wasn't even really about Alex.
It was just about Ben and I doing things together
and someone that he had been dating, where that just
like would not have happened. And that's not in play anymore.
(11:32):
And so some of the growth that has happened since
then is so wait, that's huge. The fruit is fruiting,
you know, the the bloom is blooming, the flowers are blooming.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Whatever the say, what is the saying? I have no idea.
What's saying?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Well, I'm thinking of I'm going to go ahead and
do the fruit of the spirit hero So like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Self control, you're getting all the fruit?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Was that all the nine love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,
face one was self controlled at night. Okay, so those
are the fruit of the spirit, right, I had to
practice a lot of those, all of them, all the fruits.
And I think that patience is a big one in there.
It's a big piece of fruit. And now that a
lot is fruiting.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Yeah, you had a lot of patience fruit.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
The fruit is fruiting. I'm going to make that a thing.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Okay, Okay, wait, this is one of those sayings like sick. Well,
you know how I ask like, is there ever a
saying that you think you started you're going to start this?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you never heard anybody say the
fruit is fruiting. But that's just like, I don't know
how to how else you explain it other than it
is just fruiting hard. I love it.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
That's my point.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
My point is now that you've said this, people are
going to start saying, oh, that's fruiting hard, or.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That that fruit it is fruiting. Look at you, you are
fruit of the spirit.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
It is fruity pretty hard.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I dare have passed her to say that. Just kidding,
we know, we dare each other to say stuff. Oh
that's coming up in the voicemail too. Yeah, okay mm hm,
and you talking about that you have a female Corey,
But don't you have an update on that? What finesse? Oh?
I said, Finess on the Bobby Bun Show because you
told me too.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Although I did. I didn't say this because I I
wanted to.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Did I not use it correctly? Well?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
No, I didn't want to be a Debbie downer because
I was proud of you. But I said you had
to say it twice, and you landed it once I did,
so you're halfway done.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Well then, Corey our upcoming voicemail she counts as number two, okay,
because we'll play it here. But Finess, I'll try to
say it again. But in that one, that one particular
day after you challenged me, I was able to say
it one time. I snuck in finesse somehow, and I
don't even know for sure if it works, but I
did it.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
It did work. You finessed it.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, I had finesse.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
Yes. Do you want to share what you said or
I don't even remember?
Speaker 6 (13:58):
I do?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
You said fire and then you were like I thought, I.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Said, oh, oh oh, yeah, Bobby did something I don't
even know what the segment was, but I just like, oh,
he answered something really quickly, and I was like fire,
and he was like, don't do that. And they everyone
on the show like Lunchbox and they were like, awkward, Amy,
you can't say fire, And I was like what. I
felt like it just rolled off and so I was like,
I feel like I said it with finesse.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That was perfect, So now to do it. I think
this word is gonna like just kind of become.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Part of finess or fruiting hard.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm definitely gonna. I would give you the assignment to
say fruiting hard?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Should I should?
Speaker 5 (14:36):
I answer?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It's Alex my for remember last time I asked him
for money? What should I ask him now?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Hardy?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Hey, Hello, Hey, I'm recording. I'm trying to think of
something funny to say to you right away, but I couldn't,
so I was just going, hey, hey, but sometimes you
hear you can answer this. I'll put you on speaker, okay,
but just answer it honestly. Okay. Do you think that
sometimes I look to like start a fight for like
(15:10):
no real reason. I just like, okay, okay, I didn't.
I didn't really know for sure how to explain it,
but he knew exactly what I was talking about. Okay,
So you think that sometimes I just I am like
just itching for a fight, and then I'm going to
(15:31):
ask you what you think you do? Like I'm sort
of laying out the bait, and I'm like, oh, I'm like,
I got a fishing pole and I've got the bait
on there and you're the water, and I stick it
in the water, and then what do you do? I say,
I'm not doing this right now.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Okay, Okay, Okay, that's a different scenario like that.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Okay, that's another one which we did have a conversation about.
Remember when I shared with you how that made me feel.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
Use your intentional dialogue?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yes, and then you said.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Are you baiting him?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
He's like, He's like, I'm not going to speak right now.
This sounds this sounds like a setup.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
It kind of is.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, well, I'm not trying to set you up, but
I was complimenting you in that and saying that, Yes,
while there have been two scenarios that I can recall
where he has said I'm not doing this right now,
which we've worked through. Most of the time, you just
roll right over whatever I'm doing, Like you just ignore
it and like I'm like left, like what You're not
(16:39):
even gonna react to that? And then you're like okay,
so what should what do we want for dinner or
sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
That's true.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Okay, see he's not taking the bait you all all right?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, thanks for calling. I'll have to hit you later.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Wait, that's our first male caller.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Good dog, our first male caller.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Well, like he called into the show. Oh this is
a live black call.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Thank you, bye bye.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
That's Alex from Nashville.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
He called iny.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
He just said, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Where were we been? My ex Alice, the kids like
all that I share that with. Also a church on Sunday.
They left us with this little sort of mantra for
how to welcome Monday. And it was sort of to
wake up and be like hello, hope, which it wasn't
dismissing some of the hard things in life, but it
(17:47):
was focusing on in romans where it's suffering produces perseverance, perseverances,
character and character hope. So it's sort of like that
line of events when you're going through something hard and
clinging to hope. And it was a woman delivering the message,
and she was talking about a difficult time in her
(18:08):
life and the pastor of her church came to her.
I guess it was about like twenty years ago or
something like her son had cancer and he was like, look,
you can either walk through this with God or without him,
and I'm telling you, with him it's going to be easier.
And she's like, I'll never forget that moment because I
knew I had a decision to make and I wanted
to walk through it with the Lord by my side,
and I wanted to cling to the hope. And this
(18:32):
morning when I woke up, I flung the covers off
my bed and I go, hello, Hope, just.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
The opposite of what I did. I was like, how
can I call in healthy to work today?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, You're like, I want to leave, But I just was.
I thought that reminder of like, there is hope. So
I hope that story about the evolution of Ben and
I's relationship and some of the awkward growing pains of
co parenting and navigating dating and relationships, like I hope
that the fruit that we have now and been texting
(19:06):
me and us all being able to hang out as
a family, and Ben and I were working on a
charity thing coming up in the fall, and Ben and
I literally have a meeting together this week about it,
which I think is gonna be so healthy for our
kids to see. And I'll share details about that in
case man he's in Nashville and they want to come
later once we have them after we have our meeting.
But I'm just proud of our fruit.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
And it's helpful for you to share that those good
moments because it hasn't always been that way, so it
also helps you.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Like it was not. I'm telling you that text message
have never happened ever ever, Ever, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, So that's it's bigger than even what it seems. Also,
did you mean to say bearing fruit what I say
fruiting hard?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Fruiting hard?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, I just was saying, like, bearing fruit is Shannon,
let us know that that is an actual saying, yeah,
you bear f Well, I didn't know if that's the
saying you were looking for when you said I was
my fruit was fruiting?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
No, Yes, yes you bear fruit. Yes. I think I
could have said it that way, and I just was thinking, like.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But now people are gonna be saying they're fruiting hard
instead of bearing fruit because you've started that.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
M hm. Anyway, thanks for.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Sharing those fruiting. So that is that?
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Can I shure is Hope?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
So hello Hope, Hello Hello.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Okay, So I want to share with you what we
did yesterday and I'm going to give you a quiz.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, So we did our cinema Sunday, which I've shared
before on the show. We do cinema Sundays and it's
when one of our friends. This week it was Patrick's turn.
You pick a movie, it's a surprise, and then you
create a meal an atmosphere inspired by the movie. Now,
keep in mind, not every movie has food in it,
which is crazy to think. There are some movies that
(20:52):
nobody ever eats. Really clue, there was no food in
this movie. Okay, So we had to and Patrick was
so cute. He stressed he really wanted to pick a
good movie.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
And do a good job.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
So he was the one in charge.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
He was the one one in charge. So think, first
of all, Patrick picked this, not me. I never would
have picked this. I had never seen this movie.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
And I'll tell you what the meal was, and then
I'm gonna give you.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Three guesses of the movie. Okay, Okay, So we had
for appetizer a soft pretzel. Then we had for dinner
New York style pizza, and then for dessert it was
clue New York style cheesecake.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Okay. So did it take place in New York adjacent?
Speaker 5 (21:33):
New York adjacent? Okay? The town is that? Is that
a movie?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah? Oh no, I don't know. You don't want to
get to two other movies. Anybody out in the crowd.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Have a guess. But that would have pizza and mystic pizza.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Is it like a documentary about the Yankees? There's surely
there'd be a hot dog in there somewhere.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
You imagine if it was movie night and he picked
a documentary about the Yankees.
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Yeah, I would not want to watch that.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well, you already said you wouldn't have chosen this, so
and he really wanted me to watch?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
You were adjacent? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
So something on the East Coast?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Okay, I'm just gonna tell you please, Okay, the Dark
Knight is it?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Does Batman take place? I thought it was a.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Gotham, but Gotham City's inspired by Chicago, New York in London?
What food would you have picked for the Dark Knight.
That's just so else said it. Okay, this is how
crazy this is. Somebody we were eating dinner and we
were talking about it and they're like, well, you could
have cooked bat And I didn't get it because I
did not realize The Dark Knight was about Batman.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
I thought The Dark Knight was the Joker. I am not. Yeah,
I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So I was like, do they eat bats in the
movie and they're like, no, it's Batman. I was like, oh,
I thought this was just about the Joker. That movie
is disturbing?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Is this is that the one that? Oh I never
saw it?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
You to.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I had to get up and stretch in the middle
of it because it was two hours and thirty minutes
and it was so stressful.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So Cinema Sunday sounds like a real I.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Know, the last two we've do, but hey.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
This is but it's such a fun idea, fun idea.
It was really fun to watch Patrick get excited about
it and plan it. The food was good and the
company was good, and honestly, it is getting me outside
of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, well that's good.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I decided to get outside of my comfort zone and
do something you told me to do. I still want
to do cinema Sunday at some point.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But on Saturday night, Alex and I went on an
impromptu date night and we did the whole less pretend
like we're from out of town, like you've suggested to do.
And I highly recommend it for our listeners, whether it
with a group of girlfriends or even dining alone, like
you can just be someone different. We did drive out
(23:53):
of town so that it didn't feel out of town,
you know, like we're totally lying. Yeah, I drove down
to Franklin. It was like fifteen minutes. It is technically
another town. Yeah, so went to Franklin.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
What's the song you have to sing that gets you in.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
The Oh, we're on vacation. We're on vacation, Kat the song,
and I got to say it does help. So we
kind of were in the car and we're like, we're
on vacation. And we went and we sat at the
bar because I feel like it seems like a last minute,
you know, we're just going to go to this restaurant,
sit at the bar, checking out the town, and we
(24:30):
sit down and then the bartender immediately is like, have
you all ever been here before, and we're like, no,
we haven't. We're looking at the drinks, and then Alex goes,
so we're not from around here, and she was maybe
wanting to try something local, like to drink, like do
you have a cocktail that's and then he was like,
h the only thing I really have that local would
(24:53):
be kind of like the bourbon, but I don't want
to drink bourbon. But then there was a cocktail. There
was like gin and fresh squeezed carriage juice, and the
carrots were local. So I got that.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
It was so good.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Okay, I sleep on carriage juice.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I saw the drink you posts and I almost said,
are you having a juice?
Speaker 5 (25:12):
But I was like, surely she's not drinking.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
It had gin celery liqueur. I know sounds gross. Was
it good?
Speaker 5 (25:20):
So good?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Wait? I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Alex said, well, so we're not really from around here,
so he was playing into it.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
We're waiting because we were waiting for the waiter to say, well,
where arey'all from? Because then we made a plan, well,
we FaceTime with three on our way down there, and
we had to come up with a plan that we
would do it all improv we'd had nothing pre decided planned.
So if the waiter said, where are y'all from, one
of us would answer, and then that and then we
(25:51):
roll with it from there whatever that person says. Like
if Alex had said, you know, we're from New Mexico,
then I would have to roll with that.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
What if they asked, what in New Mexico?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Albuquerque?
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Oh, okay, why you couldn't think of one? No, Albuquerque
never heard of it?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Okay, Santa Fe, I never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I'm kidding, I've heard of that. But they would not
have been top of mind. I would have been like, uh, Franklin.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
New Mexico, it's crazy, there's one there.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, they're everywhere, Paris, Texas.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah. I would have had to do something like that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So then we were gonna roll with him. I was
so excited. And then the waiter never asked us any
questions none.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
He wasn't interested in your life, sulch.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
No questions, where are we're from? Although he did want
to share with us more of the native cuisine because
he brought out this nochi from the chef where he
was like, you've got to try this. Y'all didn't order
this one particular thing that this is something that's made
with grits, which is like a Southern.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Thing instead of potato. Oh thenocch was was it good?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It was so good? And then there was like a
bread plate situation and we had already eaten and ordered
and we were done, but then people sitting next to
us ordered and I was like, oh my gosh, it
looks so good, and the waiter came over and said
it in front of us or the bartender. So I
can't have you leave without trying some of this bread,
since you know, I was made from a starter that's
(27:13):
one hundred and sixty years old, so some like Grandma
and Franklin at some point.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
Maybe passed down.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I started passed down the starter, and then he wanted
me to be able to experience it wasn't from around here?
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Okay? Do you think he knew who you were?
Speaker 6 (27:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Not a chance, okay, because then that would that would
be why he didn't ask where you're from, because then
if you lied.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Well, if he said something, I'd be like, I'm not
from here. I'm from Nashville, right up the road.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
But Burtwood, what would what would you do if you
saw somebody? Because this happened to my parents. They I
think I told you this. They were in Italy and
my mom swears that Stanley Tucci was at the restaurant
she was at, and they told their waiter, I think
that's Stanley Tucci, who has like a Italian food show.
(28:02):
I don't know on what channel, but he goes to
different cities and experiences all their different cuisines. So the
waiter said something to him and he said, no, I'm
a composer from London.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
My mom's on vacation.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I was on vacation.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
My mom was like, I think he was lying. But
if you knew somebody was lying, I guess that's the
polite thing to do. It's like if they don't want
people to know, then like the like, don't privacy, Yeah,
don't blow the cover.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Yeah. If they're like, I know that you're not from
out of town, you're on the radio.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, he didn't do that. Definitely, was that's what I'm
really cool?
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Service?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
No, but I loved it. We had fun and then
afterwards he told us, hey, before you go again, sincey'all
are from around here, you've got to go to this
speakeasy around the corner and you're gonna enter through like
where the Mellow Mushroom takes their trash, and it's gonna
look sketchy, but keep going and then pull this lever
(28:54):
and a green light's gonna come on and it'll let
you in. It sounds fake, but it's real.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Should you be giving this secret out?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, I mean it's it's a speakeasy in Franklin, Okay,
thinking people, I've never heard of this.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
So then we're like, well, we're on vacation, so normally
we would go home, but obviously now we're going to
go do this. And we really didn't want another cocktail.
You don't want anything. We're like, well, we'll just get
one and share it and that way we can have
the experience. So we go and we walk around. We
go to the side of mel Mushroom and it is
starting to kind of smell like trash and we're like
this is the right Okay, this must be And then
(29:28):
we go through the door and we open it up
and there's a line in the trash hallway to the speakeasy,
and we were like, we're out. That's where we draw
the line. There's maybe like seven people deep. So a
couple of couples or maybe like you know, in a
friend but it smelt like trash. I mean just it
was like a little alley situation. But I we just
(29:49):
it wasn't because of the trash. It was just like
we didn't want to wait, like if we could have
just walked in and experienced to speak easy. But that's
where we drew the line. On vacation. We're like, we're done,
let's go back to our real lives. We're tired.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Because your vacation was over nine pm. And if you
were on vacation, would you actually stay in the line.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I don't think so, because it was just we retired, Okay,
I had already been a long day.
Speaker 5 (30:09):
Yeah, and you went to a late dinner exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
If maybe it'd have been a little bit earlier, we
would have done it. But anyway, I will say it
worked like for us, it worked, So thank you for
the relationship.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Hack idea tip. It's just fun. It's just fun.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, and again it doesn't I guess I call it
a relationship, but it'd really be just an anything like
a life, just bringing a.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Little whimsical whimsy.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yes, it's the whimsy. It brought whimsy, So thank.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
You for that.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And what's funny about that is when you called us
what would you call us?
Speaker 5 (30:40):
At like seven forty five?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, and driving down there, I.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Was in bed with my like probably retainer in and
my classes on. You're like, what are you doing in
bedcause normally.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
You're the one that's out and about like living it up.
Patrick's blindfolded and You're like, we're just going to do
something crazy. And then you're like, oh, this was your low,
which is why you felt too energized.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
That's good for you. So we switch places.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Okay, Yeah, are you ready to get into the voicemail?
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Again, the topic is marrying someone with and eating disorder,
and I'll let Cord you the talking. So we'll hit
the voicemail. Now here you go.
Speaker 6 (31:28):
Hi, Amy and Kat, This is Corey. I've been a
longtime fan of the Bobby Bone Show and listen to
your podcast Amy since day one. Actually we got divorced
around the same time, and that's one of the reasons
why I'm messaging. I met an amazing guy as we've
been dating about eight months. He's very kind and considerate,
(31:49):
great communicator, love of God. He's the planner, plan spend
things for me. We have a great time, but there
is this one thing.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
I think he has an eating discl We're in our
fifties and there's certain things that he doesn't eat. You
know how when we're kids, and sometimes kids can be
picky eaters. Well, he actually never grew out of that.
He had this to the child, And in contrast, I
am a big foodie. I love food.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
He's been kind.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
He's taken me to restaurants that I was like, like,
I love crab legs, and he tissed me there, but
he didn't eat anything.
Speaker 6 (32:28):
He just watched me eat and enjoyed me eating.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Was very nice.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And we've gone to like a Hawaiian restaurant and he
ain't French fries.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
And it's not really been a problem.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
But I think if we are going to continue our
relationship and possibly get married someday, that it will be
a problem. I guess I'm just acting your advice. Is
this an eating disorder? I kind of googled it and
found something about our FID and he and I talked
about it and asked me if his eating issues would
(33:02):
keep me from marrying him someday. And if I'm honest,
it is a factor in me making that decision. When
I told him that it bothered him because he did that,
It's like I was saying that he needed to change
something that he couldn't change, but can't he So anyway,
I'd love your buy have a great day.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That is from our listener, Corey, thank you so much
for leaving that voicemail. It's like a sensitive situation because
it's not like he's choosing to be this way, like
there's something going on, and you obviously enjoy so many
other things about him, and so that sometimes what can
make a relationship difficult, especially when it's something that isn't
(33:48):
officially diagnosed, which is certainly what we cannot do here.
And I don't think Kat, even being a therapist that
specializes in eating disorder and body image, you can't even
say for certain. When the voicemail was playing earlier, I
mentioned this at the top of the episode, You're like, Oh,
that sounds like our fit, which Corey mentioned in the
(34:11):
voicemail from her research, that's what she has found. So
what can you say in regards to that that you
feel comfortable saying as a therapist and I know as
a mom like other people that might be listening might
be like, oh, that sounds familiar, Like I think of
my daughter when I hear that, and some things that
she may have going on, and I don't even know.
I'd never even heard of our fit. So now I
(34:32):
want to research it and see if there's some different
things we can do that will help expand her food
list because food is limited because of how she is
with food. There are just certain sensitivities and I try
to have compassion around it, and then it can be
incredibly frustrating because of texture and taste and all the
(34:53):
different things at play.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
So why don't we break this down two separate things.
One I can get we have a little tiny piece
of what arfit is. And then on the other side
of that, so there's this concern maybe he has an
eating disorder, and if he has an eating disorder, does
not need to be addressed. And then the other part
of this question is what do I do in this relationship?
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Is this allowed to be a deal breaker?
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Is this going to like how do I work through
some of those things that maybe I can't change that
actually might be important to me because it's okay to
recognize that food being part of your life and something
that you like to experiment with and enjoy. It's okay
that that's a big deal to you. So two separate things.
Let's start with the urfed part. So ourfit is probably
(35:40):
a lesser known eating disorder because it doesn't typically have
much to do about somebody's weight and wanting to control
their weight or any type of body image, which a
lot of the other types of eating disorders either don't either.
But this typically doesn't really have anything.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
To do with that. It stands for avoidant restrictive food
and take disorder, and a lot of times it is
rooted in like sensory issues which you mentioned, so textures
or smells, stuff like that that can just be part
of something that somebody has a hard time sitting with
or experiencing. So has nothing to.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Do with oh I don't want to eat that, the
calories or anything like that. It's that this doesn't feel
good to me and I can't tolerate it. Or it
can have to do with traumatic experiences, so if you
were force fed things as a child or had any
kind of trauma around foods. Sometimes we can limit our
palatee in that way to avoid that stuff.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
You can develop it, like if.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
You have medical issues like gastrone testinal issues, you might
develop a fear of a lot of foods and you
might want to avoid them and restrict them because of that,
which all of this stuff is very understandable. Or another
way that trauma can create some just like dissatisfaction or
just distaste to a lot of foods is if you've
(36:57):
had experience of choking or something like vomiting or something
with eating a food, you might become just very resistant
to it in the future.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
So that's where a lot of that comes from.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I think when people see it, their first inclination is
to have this judgment of they're a picky eater, like
that's just a picky eater. And this used to be
called selective eating disorder, where it was like these people
were only selecting these certain like they're very selective. And
I think the language on that wasn't very truthful that
(37:30):
it has a lot more to do with I can't
tolerate this kind of food and.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
This food is hard for me.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
All that to say, there's treatment for it, and you
can work through some of these things, and the person
who's experiencing that has to want to engage in that treatment,
Like eating sometimes pasta, the texture of pasta. People can
be really like if I don't, I can't tolerate that.
For us, we're like, oh pasta, it's so good, it's
so yummy, or something like yogurt. Yogurt's a big one.
(38:00):
People are like, oh, I can't. So for maybe us,
I like that food. It's like, well, just like, learn
to eat pasta. But it is such a distressing experience
for somebody like that has this eating disorder to eat
that food, that it might not be worth it to them.
So it feels different in their body than we can
(38:22):
sometimes understand, because just we you can't force yourself to
experience that.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Right, because it's not just like, oh, like I don't
like allips, yes, like olives are disgusting to me. This
is so much bigger than that. Obviously, the foods get
so limmited to where they can barely go out to eat,
and when experiencing food is such an important part to her,
and while it's so kind that he'll take her and
he's willing to go, sometimes just sitting there and if
(38:48):
they're not eating and you're eating in front of them,
it just doesn't feel like a fun experience together.
Speaker 5 (38:55):
And again this is me.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I'm not diagnosing this person because I have like this
much information about what he's experiencing.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
If you're listening on podcasts, Kat held up about two inches.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Oh yeah, this much everybody's watching on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
They're not. I don't know why, but they're not. But hey,
we're on YouTube. If you want to watch us, shout out,
because there's a lot of you listening that are definitely
not watching on YouTube. But I don't watch that much
stuff on YouTube, so I get it. I mean sometimes
I do, but I listen to podcasts when I'm doing
other things and I'm not I'm.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
Walking around them.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
What I Yeah, limited information, And I just wanted to
give that little spiel because it is an e needy
disorder that a lot of people don't know about, and
it's really easy to have judgment when we don't have
all the information.
Speaker 5 (39:39):
And this is.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Something that I think Corey, our listener, is trying to
really walk through with compassion. So there's two things here
that like, if this is an eating disorder, I want
to be able to help this person, and we can
only control what we can control. And at the end
of the day, if this person, if this is not
just dressed enough to this person's life, if he's still
(40:02):
able to get the nutrients he needs in his body
and live the life that he wants, that he chooses
he might not have a desire to change. And so
then you outside of that also have to make a
decision of Okay, well is this something that I can
learn to live with or not?
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And there's not a right or wrong. I don't think
there's a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
There no, because either way it's it could be impacting
your quality of life, and that's for you to decide.
And I think maybe maybe, maybe again, I don't know
these people at all, but my hope, hello, hope would
be that he didn't think that, which we had to
(40:44):
shorten some of the voicemail. It was very very very long,
so listeners, was very very very very long, but good information.
We have information that some listeners didn't hear and depending
on what part was left in the voicemail, but what
we know is that he didn't think he was going
to meet somebody like he's lived. He's in his fifties
and he's lived his entire life or much of his
(41:07):
life likely this way, and he never thought he would
meet somebody that he wanted to share his life with,
and so now that he has, he might be like, oh,
this is potentially limiting experiences with someone that I really
enjoy being with that I didn't think I was ever
going to meet. So yeah, if there actually is some
support out there for me in this that can expand
(41:30):
my opportunities my experiences with my partner, then he may
be willing to look into it. Now. It also could
be like a flat no, and then that's where you
have to assess and figure out Okay, radical acceptance. We've
talked about that recently. It's sort of like, this is
situation and I can't control it, and how do I
(41:51):
want to come alongside and live with it? If you
choose to accept it and move forward and do marry him,
because that is the question. You can't go into it like, oh, well,
I'll marry him and then eventually I'll fix it, because
that you're going to just have to radically accept that
this is how he eats something in my relationship that
I don't think Alex in mind that I'm bringing up
(42:12):
because it's something he walked through with his wife when
she had cancer, and all of the information and doctors
and appointments, and they went everywhere to get all kinds
of opinions. We actually talked about it on our date
night on vacation, which I know this sounds like a
heavy discussion, but we had not ever talked about some
(42:33):
of her treatments and where they went. But something about
MD Anderson came up because that's where my mom was.
He goes, oh, we flew down there for an opinion.
They were living in Nashville, so they went to Vanderbilt,
they went down to Houston, m d Anderson, they went
to Duke, like they were trying to go everywhere to
get different opinions because everyone was just perplexed at what
she had, how it was spreading. There's some words he
(42:56):
said that I don't even really remember, like some medical
speak that I wasn't even familiar with, because he was like,
I had never experienced cancer before, so some of this
was just so foreign to me. And I remember that
with my mom walking through that with her like a
doctor's woman's just being so overwhelmed and trying to take
in all of the information and learn so much. But
you know, he was talking about how every doctor also
(43:19):
had like a different take on it, and even with
the diet and how you should be eating, and but
something that just really resonated with him was with colon cancers,
certain foods that will inflame certain things that can ignite
the colon cancer. Even know if I'm saying that properly,
but you get what I'm saying. And so he's very
(43:42):
strict with those foods, Like if there was a top five,
he's just not going to put those in his body.
And I don't even want to list them out and
not trying to like put fear into anybody at all whatsoever,
But if those are on the menu, he's just like
not going to be getting them. Where I don't limit
that as much. But I think some of that is
me rebelling again my eating disorder days of like I
don't want my kids to feel restriction. But his restriction
(44:06):
isn't coming from a place of an eating disorder, but
it is a fear of sorts of genetically their mom
did have it, and he believes the science behind XYZ
to be true, and so he just wants to try
to fuel them in their bodies with certain things when
he can. So there are things that I just know
we're not gonna order our experiences. I know, we're like
(44:27):
we're not always gonna get dessert, which that's kind of
a bummer for me sometimes And if I wanted to
get the dessert, I could, but I know sometimes he's
just like not for it. And Kat was like, oh gosh,
I have to get to dessert every single time.
Speaker 5 (44:40):
Not every time, but like that is I love, It's fun.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's one of my favorite parts of going
out is then like not even at the same restaurant,
will go somewhere else.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
But that's something I think.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
That you're sharing that to say that that's something in
my relationship and it's still worth it to be in that.
It Also, his choices don't always have to be my choices,
and I think that's important to add too, that.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
You don't get a little bummed sometimes. Yes, yeah, so
Corey might get a little bummed sometimes because I know
I'm like, I know we're not going to have dessert
or like I want something sweet, and sometimes I have
to check myself and I probably will need to share
this because I don't think I've said it now that
I'm saying on the podcast. I want to say it
to him, but it's like sometimes I feel uncomfortable if
I want something sweet, and like almost like I can't
(45:25):
like you, like I'm doing something wrong and I'm not.
I know he wouldn't want me to feel that way.
And some of that could be my own stuff that
I'm projecting on to myself, but I just it's just
how I feel. Well. This podcast is about feelings.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
So I think that's helpful to hear, and it's also
helpful to say out loud, because then you can recognize
it's almost like you're taking on his fears or his feelings,
or his genetics or his kid's genetics or anything like that.
How you're saying that, like they have his wife's genes,
and so his feelings and his fear around certain foods,
(46:01):
if he doesn't want to change those, that's okay. We
can actually be in relationship with somebody who has different
feelings and experiences and ideals and all of that. I
don't have to then take that on. And it doesn't
sound like he's forcing you to take that on either.
There might be some things that he just feels strongly about,
but recognizing that, oh, that doesn't have to be my
(46:23):
reality there.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Right, And if I want something sweet, I should just
say I'm going to get something sweet, and I am
going to do that for myself. You don't have to
have any Yeah, although I want that experience with him,
like when we went and got the Frosties, but those
wards Frosty's, we Windys, we went to Dairy Queen, we
got the Blizzards. It was fun. It's more fun to
do it, it's more fun to do together. And so
(46:46):
I guess for me, I'll just cherish those moments a
little bit more and then respect the other times that
he doesn't want that in his body, which is okay.
I'm trying to just think of like Corey being in
certain situations where it's just like I just want to
to eat crab with me.
Speaker 5 (47:01):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
And also I think going back to talking about our
fed because people don't.
Speaker 5 (47:09):
Know it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
He might not even recognize that that's something that he
could work through, right, Like, he might not even know that.
So when she says like this might be something that
would keep me from marrying you, like I have to
think about that, and he's like, well, this is how
I've been my whole life. Maybe he doesn't know there
are people out there that are struggling with things. It
is one of the most helpful. It sounds crazy, but
(47:33):
sometimes when people get a diagnosis, even a mental health diagnosis,
it feels so freeing because they're like, oh, this is
a thing that other people have, it's not just me.
And also there might be a way out. Yeah, they're
so important about this, right, there's support, there are people
that specialize in this, and so sometimes having that, even
though we don't want to just go around labeling people,
(47:55):
but even it's almost as like I feel understood, I
feel seen, you.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Know, when not alone? You want it? You know what else?
Speaker 5 (48:01):
What else?
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Hope?
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Hello? Hope.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I think that's like the topic of or the subject
of our episode. But yeah, it can give him hope
of like, oh, well maybe I we don't know, he
might have feelings sitting there across from her, being like
I wish I could enjoy this with her. We don't
know if that's something he's like hidden and suppressed. So
there could be a lot of I think we're not
going to give you any like actual this is what
(48:28):
you need to do. But I think something to think
about is do I want to have a conversation to
see how he really feels about all this, like get
really vulnerable and curious about what his experience is when
he takes you out to eat and he just orders
the fries. He might feel numb to it at this point,
but maybe it's because nobody's ever really asked him.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and yeah, arfid who knew?
I did not know was the thing? The cat knew
right when she heard Corey start talking about it, and
I was like, that's my girl, thank you, that's my
co host.
Speaker 5 (49:00):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
We'll close with a really cool email that we got
from a listener named how do you think we say that?
Mala Mila Meila m We don't know because I ll
ella guess what. She's from Finland. That's which is why
we might not know how to That's why we called
the email because I think we were talking about how
(49:22):
maybe we had a listener in Nigeria or something, and
she was like.
Speaker 5 (49:25):
Hey, so this is our email of the day.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Hey, Amy and kat I was listening to your episode
from a couple of days ago and you were talking
about maybe having listeners abroad. Well, I just wanted you
to know you have at least one listener in Finland.
I've been listening to the Bobby Bone Show for over
ten years now. First heard about you guys, and I
was working in Wisconsin for a summer in twenty thirteen,
and I've been listening ever since. I really like feeling things. Also, ps,
I know Amy wanted to explore new places. You should
(49:51):
totally visit Finland someday. I think you would love it.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
Okay, guest Mila, I'm smiling so hard. One that's a
cool email. But like you were doing one of.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
Those commercial it's like all like the side effects of something.
I've never heard you talk so fast? Do you ever
do those?
Speaker 2 (50:10):
I do? Okay, Yeah, at the end of like car
commercials and stuff. Yeah, was I really well?
Speaker 5 (50:16):
I was trying. I'm hot.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
We got to figure out a new plan. This is
a little inside baseball, but we have like lights that
are in here. Or it's a really muggy day here
in Nashville today. There was a storm earlier, and I
think the humidity.
Speaker 5 (50:27):
And and you're wearing a sweater and.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
I'm wearing a sweater.
Speaker 5 (50:30):
I don't know why, Well, we can wrap it up.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Maybe I just think that the heat was causing me
to read quickly.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Yeah, I mean it was a talent that's supposed to
be kind of a compliment.
Speaker 5 (50:40):
Oh really, you can be a speed reader.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Thank you, You're welcome. We did it all right. If
y'all want to email us, you can from anywhere in
the world, Finland, Nigeria, wherever you live. It will make
it to us.
Speaker 5 (50:55):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
There at Feeling Things podcast dot com you mentioned earlier,
we are on to You can like and subscribe.
Speaker 5 (51:02):
You can call us and leave the voicemail. Yeah, eight
seven seven.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Two o seven two o seven seven eight seven seven
two oh seven two o seven seven, and you can
follow us on Instagram. I love that. And then also
I just want to say I like going and reading
through our comments, which is manageable at this point on
all of our posts because it's just like few here
and there, mostly you and me.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
So like.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Messaging back to each that they're manageable because either Feeling
Things is commenting, which is either me or Cat, and
then there's my account Radio a me and then Kat
van Buren, which is Matt's account, and then sometimes Kat's
husband will chime in with a comment, go comment, and
then maybe my sister. But occasionally we have some listeners
in there and it's so fun. So that's just a
(51:49):
little if you're still listening at this point and this
say isn't you know? If you make it to the end,
then you're loyal and I know that maybe you'll throw
a comment if you think of it and the video
go up, just like, leave us a comment because that's
fun and we'll engage with it and reply.
Speaker 5 (52:04):
And be like, what you watched this? Well, people are
watching it. That's good and they like it. They should
always comment.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
It's just a y'all will always comment and comments are fun. Yeah.
So and the plus, it's just funny to me that
when I go through that, I'm like, oh my gosh,
we have six comments. Yay, And I go look at
them and it's.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
Like you me killing things were probably like do they
have no friend my sister Patrick.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
But we are gaining more Instagram followers by the day,
which is so fun because it's a climb. It's fun.
Speaker 5 (52:39):
We hope you have the day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Bye bye,
Good.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 3 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won Amy
and Cat gotcha Covin locking No, brother, Ladies and folks,
do you just follow an the spirit where it's all
the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and
the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can
do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
With Amy and Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Cat and I just like to start off the episode
with a little cat brag, A brag about Cat. Okay, Like,
if anyone has ever questioned your skills, I just want
to say you have them and they shouldn't question you
at all. So we have a listener voicemail coming out
that we're gonna play in the episode, and the topic
(00:50):
of it is marrying someone with an eating disorder, and
it's a female listener. Like when I was just reading
the transcript, it's from Corey, and I got all excited.
We have a voicemail from a male listener and I
was like, and I think he's marrying someone with an
eating disorder, which unfair of me. I saw Corey. I thought, man,
I thought woman with the eating disorder. Well, then we
(01:13):
hit the voicemail and I heard a female voice and
I was like oh. And then I think I said, well,
maybe she's a lesbian. And I was like, okay, no men, yes,
is this a reminder that men can have stuff with
food and body and all the things.
Speaker 5 (01:29):
We know that.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
But as we're listening to the voicemail, because we listened
to the entire thing before we started recording, and Cat
just goes, oh, sounds like arfid Is that how? He said?
Then the listener, well, y'all hear coming up in the voicemail.
But there was a moment where immediately after you said that,
the listener says something and I was like ah. I
(01:52):
looked at Kat and I was like, dang, you're good,
and You're like, no, I'm just using the things that
i've learned to put too two together. She literally was
describing something, and I I shared my opinion. Now, obviously,
as a therapist on this podcast, you're never diagnosing anybody
with anything because you can't. They're not your client. And
(02:12):
what's that book?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
The D five Diagnostic nine Artistical Manual. Five. We're on
five d S and five.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Yeah, we need a six soon, which I don't know
when that's coming out, but I think it's funny that
you were like, oh my gosh, you knew that when
that was a to me, it's just that's basic, so
sided advance. I hope that you would think I have
basic too.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
You you have basic and advanced knowledge. I just would say,
I'm impressed.
Speaker 5 (02:39):
Oh, thank you, thank you, pause, pause, pause, pose, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Okay, there we go, which that reminds me. I complimented
something to my boyfriend the other day, and I guess
he listened to that episode or he saw the social
clip or something, because I gave him a compliment and
he looked at me and he was like, thank you,
pos pas pos posas.
Speaker 5 (02:55):
And I was like, oh, that's not part of it.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
You keep saying that, yeah, thank you, because that's supposed
to someone compliments you, even if it feels backhanded, because
that wasn't at all. It wasn't my intention to be like, oh, man,
Kat's so smart and you're like any that's basic. Obviously,
I have basic skills. I just just impressed, thank you.
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
To How to say you're welcome to somebody? You just
want to keep going and talking.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
And I just have to be like, wow, she accepted it, okay,
and I can just say then nada. We're going to
get to the feeling of the day, which is from me.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
You Yes, I have it.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
I am feeling energized, and I'm feeling energized because I
had a very normal weekend, which is funny because I
still did things. It's not like I didn't leave my house,
but we did very low key things. This morning, I
woke up early, like before my alarm. I was like, oh,
I wanted to get things started. Was folding my laundry
(03:59):
before I was getting ready. And then I was you know,
as you do in the morning scrolling Instagram.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You're not supposed to do that. You're a therapist. You
should november.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I said that doom scrolling, which I wasn't doom scrolling.
I was just taking a break. Scrolling isn't always bad.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You've said that, like on a previous episode.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So I came across this meme and it said we
should be able to call in healthy to work, and
then it had in quotes, look, I am not coming
in today. I feel good and I don't want to
waste it on being at work right.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Like, I feel awesome, and if I'm at work, what
a waste.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Well, my thought was like, Okay, why do we only
get to call out of work when we're not feeling good?
But we don't get to take advantage of our best days.
We have to use our best days to be productive at.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Work, because how many of those days do we really have.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I was feeling pretty good and I almost called you
and said I'm not coming in today.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Record we want you energized. So yeah, no, I couldn't
do that, but that's a good thought.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Then I was like, I guess we have you can
have like a mental health day, or I guess you
have PTO.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Yeah, if you want to take all your paid times off.
But some people's jobs good, like my job requires me
to be there because I'm a voice on a show,
Like I'm an active participant. Now if I sat at
a desk and maybe it didn't matter when I got
my work done or I did I wasn't dependent on
other people at the exact same time, that might work.
Like an accountant or something.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Like Patrick could do it, yes, but he doesn't call
out of work because he's always stressed because his job
is stressful. So nobody can really do this I can't.
That would be awful if I was, like, I'm feeling
my best, I'm definitely not going to go.
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Help people today.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I really want to feel terrible when.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
I'm giving you advice, because honestly, when I'm sick, when
I just have like a cold or something and I'm
not like deathly ill, I don't really mind going to
work because I'm like, what else am I going to do?
I can't really do anything with my day. It's better
to be sick during the week than sick on a weekend.
But that doesn't really no man now.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
But I'm glad you're feeling energized and awesome. I wonder
what that's about.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Well, I think it's because I didn't run myself into
the ground this weekend.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
You were low key.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
I was channeling you vibes.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I love weekends like that. But I doesn't mean
I'm extra energized on a Monday or anything. I just
love low key weekends. I have those days though, that
you're talking about, like once a month maybe or so.
I know it's part of my hormone cycle. I know
what it is. I don't know what hormones getting released,
but there is something that's happening or not happening, whichever
(06:33):
hormone is active or not active. That really just helps
me feel amazing and then it goes away.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Well, now I'm trying to think of like what if
it's hormone related to me, But it wouldn't be because I.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Thought you were supposed to get crazy or something.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
I am about. Well you haven't yet.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
I know.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Well, confession, that's patrick that he might say something else,
although we did talk about it the other day because
I said to him, he did something with my car,
he did something nice. He got my oil chain for
me because I really hate doing that. But he accidentally
connected his he messed up the like connection of the
phones and whatever. I was one of those things where
(07:10):
I was overreacting for sure, and I knew it. And
I sent him this text that was like, you have
to fix this.
Speaker 5 (07:15):
You better. It was something like you better fix this
or something, and he.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Responded I know because he like, yes, this was after
he did something nice for me, Chase.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
This is what I said.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I said, I'm so annoyed right now, you better fix this.
And in my head, I'm like, Catherine, what are you doing?
Speaker 5 (07:36):
He is so nice?
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I was talking myself down from this, and he just responded, Okay,
no problem. I almost don't know if he didn't read
it in a sassy tone, because he was like, of course,
she's not being mean to me.
Speaker 5 (07:47):
Why would she be mean to me? I just did
her a favor.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
But then later I was talking to him and I said,
I'm sorry I overreacted. I was just really stressed and
I was hot and I was late to where I
was going. And he said, that's like, it's okay as
long as you recognize that you're doing that. And I said,
if you ever spoke to me that way, it would
not be okay. You know, like if can you imagine
(08:10):
Patrick send me a text and it's like, you better
fix this.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm so annoyed with you. I know I cannot imagine that.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Like that's such a double standard. So I blamed it
on my hormones. And then he said, I really don't
think you're being that much. Now that I'm telling the story,
it makes me wonder because he's like, I really don't
think you're being that much different.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
He's like, that sounded pretty much like how you talk.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
He did say.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
He said, when you get frustrated, you always are quick
to apologize, so he's it's not like you're not recognizing
when you're being cucku.
Speaker 5 (08:42):
He would never say cuku. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
I think that my boyfriend is a lot like Patrick
and the just not playing into the cuckoo, which isn't
perplexing to me because I'm like, why are you not
We've sort of talked about this before, like either he's
not like gonna add fuel to the fire, like I'm
maybe wanting to engage a little bit, like ruffle the
(09:06):
feathers and I'll I'm feel.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
A little brink.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Maybe I don't know what it is, but I do it.
And then he just like it falls flat.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
But I'm like, chaos you're trying to create fall flat?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, because it's what it feels like. It falls flat.
But I think he's like, I'm just not going to
engage in this, Like whatever this is, I'm just going
to ignore it and it will go away. And it does.
But I had to really talk myself out of it
the other day. I'm like, don't keep going, don't keep going,
don't keep going, because I was trying to poke a
little bit and I don't know why. Just like you,
(09:40):
I was aware of it, like I am aware right now,
this is not very rational, but I don't care, but
it was. I know it was hormones. Then the next day,
I think I started my period, and I was like, oh,
it all makes sense now, Like it's validation because you
know when you're aware of the crazy and then you
you still hit send and then they're like, yeah, what
(10:04):
do you want for dinner?
Speaker 5 (10:05):
And I'm like, I think part of it. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
For Alex, I'm gonna say make an assumption. For Patrick,
I think he never assumes I'm trying to be mean,
or he never assumes I'm trying to be rude, or
he never assumes that. So he doesn't read into things
the way that I might read into them. So when
I sent that text, I think he probably read it
with a normal tone. So he was like, oh, she's annoyed,
(10:29):
but no problem, I'll fix it later. I don't think
he thought I was.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I could be wrong, yeah, but we know how you felt.
You were like you better fix this. Yeah. Well, speaking
of texts, yeah, I got one for my ex husband.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
Were you poking that bad?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
No?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Okay, I wasn't. This is actually like a good text
where I was like, oh, look, how far we have
come because he was texting me about celebrating something for
our son, and he said that our son wanted to
do it the whole family altogether, so that would be me,
his mom, his dad, his sister. And then the last
(11:09):
sentence of the text, he was like, and I think
Alex should come too, And I was like, oh, okay,
well that would be fun. Not that Ben wouldn't ever
want to include Alex, It's just that there was a
season where Ben wasn't It wasn't even really about Alex.
It was just about Ben and I doing things together
and someone that he had been dating, where that just
like would not have happened. And that's not in play anymore.
(11:32):
And so some of the growth that has happened since
then is so wait, that's huge. The fruit is fruiting,
you know, the the bloom is blooming, the flowers are blooming.
Speaker 5 (11:49):
Whatever the say, what is the saying? I have no idea.
What's saying?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Well, I'm thinking of I'm going to go ahead and
do the fruit of the spirit hero So like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Self control, you're getting all the fruit?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Was that all the nine love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness,
face one was self controlled at night. Okay, so those
are the fruit of the spirit, right, I had to
practice a lot of those, all of them, all the fruits.
And I think that patience is a big one in there.
It's a big piece of fruit. And now that a
lot is fruiting.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Yeah, you had a lot of patience fruit.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
The fruit is fruiting. I'm going to make that a thing.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Okay, Okay, wait, this is one of those sayings like sick. Well,
you know how I ask like, is there ever a
saying that you think you started you're going to start this?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you never heard anybody say the
fruit is fruiting. But that's just like, I don't know
how to how else you explain it other than it
is just fruiting hard. I love it.
Speaker 5 (12:49):
That's my point.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
My point is now that you've said this, people are
going to start saying, oh, that's fruiting hard, or.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That that fruit it is fruiting. Look at you, you are
fruit of the spirit.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
It is fruity pretty hard.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
I dare have passed her to say that. Just kidding,
we know, we dare each other to say stuff. Oh
that's coming up in the voicemail too. Yeah, okay mm hm,
and you talking about that you have a female Corey,
But don't you have an update on that? What finesse? Oh?
I said, Finess on the Bobby Bun Show because you
told me too.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Although I did. I didn't say this because I I
wanted to.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Did I not use it correctly? Well?
Speaker 1 (13:25):
No, I didn't want to be a Debbie downer because
I was proud of you. But I said you had
to say it twice, and you landed it once I did,
so you're halfway done.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Well then, Corey our upcoming voicemail she counts as number two, okay,
because we'll play it here. But Finess, I'll try to
say it again. But in that one, that one particular
day after you challenged me, I was able to say
it one time. I snuck in finesse somehow, and I
don't even know for sure if it works, but I
did it.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
It did work. You finessed it.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, I had finesse.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
Yes. Do you want to share what you said or
I don't even remember?
Speaker 6 (13:58):
I do?
Speaker 5 (13:58):
You said fire and then you were like I thought, I.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Said, oh, oh oh, yeah, Bobby did something I don't
even know what the segment was, but I just like, oh,
he answered something really quickly, and I was like fire,
and he was like, don't do that. And they everyone
on the show like Lunchbox and they were like, awkward, Amy,
you can't say fire, And I was like what. I
felt like it just rolled off and so I was like,
I feel like I said it with finesse.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That was perfect, So now to do it. I think
this word is gonna like just kind of become.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Part of finess or fruiting hard.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm definitely gonna. I would give you the assignment to
say fruiting hard?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Should I should?
Speaker 5 (14:36):
I answer?
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It's Alex my for remember last time I asked him
for money? What should I ask him now?
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Hardy?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Hey, Hello, Hey, I'm recording. I'm trying to think of
something funny to say to you right away, but I couldn't,
so I was just going, hey, hey, but sometimes you
hear you can answer this. I'll put you on speaker, okay,
but just answer it honestly. Okay. Do you think that
sometimes I look to like start a fight for like
(15:10):
no real reason. I just like, okay, okay, I didn't.
I didn't really know for sure how to explain it,
but he knew exactly what I was talking about. Okay,
So you think that sometimes I just I am like
just itching for a fight, and then I'm going to
(15:31):
ask you what you think you do? Like I'm sort
of laying out the bait, and I'm like, oh, I'm like,
I got a fishing pole and I've got the bait
on there and you're the water, and I stick it
in the water, and then what do you do? I say,
I'm not doing this right now.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
Okay, Okay, Okay, that's a different scenario like that.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Okay, that's another one which we did have a conversation about.
Remember when I shared with you how that made me feel.
Speaker 5 (16:02):
Use your intentional dialogue?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yes, and then you said.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Are you baiting him?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
He's like, He's like, I'm not going to speak right now.
This sounds this sounds like a setup.
Speaker 5 (16:13):
It kind of is.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, well, I'm not trying to set you up, but
I was complimenting you in that and saying that, Yes,
while there have been two scenarios that I can recall
where he has said I'm not doing this right now,
which we've worked through. Most of the time, you just
roll right over whatever I'm doing, Like you just ignore
it and like I'm like left, like what You're not
(16:39):
even gonna react to that? And then you're like okay,
so what should what do we want for dinner or
sort of thing.
Speaker 6 (16:44):
That's true.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Okay, see he's not taking the bait you all all right?
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, thanks for calling. I'll have to hit you later.
Speaker 5 (16:53):
Wait, that's our first male caller.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Good dog, our first male caller.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
Well, like he called into the show. Oh this is
a live black call.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Thank you, bye bye.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
That's Alex from Nashville.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
He called iny.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
He just said, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Where were we been? My ex Alice, the kids like
all that I share that with. Also a church on Sunday.
They left us with this little sort of mantra for
how to welcome Monday. And it was sort of to
wake up and be like hello, hope, which it wasn't
dismissing some of the hard things in life, but it
(17:47):
was focusing on in romans where it's suffering produces perseverance, perseverances,
character and character hope. So it's sort of like that
line of events when you're going through something hard and
clinging to hope. And it was a woman delivering the message,
and she was talking about a difficult time in her
(18:08):
life and the pastor of her church came to her.
I guess it was about like twenty years ago or
something like her son had cancer and he was like, look,
you can either walk through this with God or without him,
and I'm telling you, with him it's going to be easier.
And she's like, I'll never forget that moment because I
knew I had a decision to make and I wanted
to walk through it with the Lord by my side,
and I wanted to cling to the hope. And this
(18:32):
morning when I woke up, I flung the covers off
my bed and I go, hello, Hope, just.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
The opposite of what I did. I was like, how
can I call in healthy to work today?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Yeah, You're like, I want to leave, But I just was.
I thought that reminder of like, there is hope. So
I hope that story about the evolution of Ben and
I's relationship and some of the awkward growing pains of
co parenting and navigating dating and relationships, like I hope
that the fruit that we have now and been texting
(19:06):
me and us all being able to hang out as
a family, and Ben and I were working on a
charity thing coming up in the fall, and Ben and
I literally have a meeting together this week about it,
which I think is gonna be so healthy for our
kids to see. And I'll share details about that in
case man he's in Nashville and they want to come
later once we have them after we have our meeting.
But I'm just proud of our fruit.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
And it's helpful for you to share that those good
moments because it hasn't always been that way, so it
also helps you.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Like it was not. I'm telling you that text message
have never happened ever ever, Ever, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, So that's it's bigger than even what it seems. Also,
did you mean to say bearing fruit what I say
fruiting hard?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Fruiting hard?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Well, I just was saying, like, bearing fruit is Shannon,
let us know that that is an actual saying, yeah,
you bear f Well, I didn't know if that's the
saying you were looking for when you said I was
my fruit was fruiting?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
No, Yes, yes you bear fruit. Yes. I think I
could have said it that way, and I just was thinking, like.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But now people are gonna be saying they're fruiting hard
instead of bearing fruit because you've started that.
Speaker 5 (20:15):
M hm. Anyway, thanks for.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Sharing those fruiting. So that is that?
Speaker 5 (20:20):
Can I shure is Hope?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
So hello Hope, Hello Hello.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Okay, So I want to share with you what we
did yesterday and I'm going to give you a quiz.
Speaker 5 (20:31):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Okay, So we did our cinema Sunday, which I've shared
before on the show. We do cinema Sundays and it's
when one of our friends. This week it was Patrick's turn.
You pick a movie, it's a surprise, and then you
create a meal an atmosphere inspired by the movie. Now,
keep in mind, not every movie has food in it,
which is crazy to think. There are some movies that
(20:52):
nobody ever eats. Really clue, there was no food in
this movie. Okay, So we had to and Patrick was
so cute. He stressed he really wanted to pick a
good movie.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
And do a good job.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
So he was the one in charge.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
He was the one one in charge. So think, first
of all, Patrick picked this, not me. I never would
have picked this. I had never seen this movie.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
And I'll tell you what the meal was, and then
I'm gonna give you.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Three guesses of the movie. Okay, Okay, So we had
for appetizer a soft pretzel. Then we had for dinner
New York style pizza, and then for dessert it was
clue New York style cheesecake.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Okay. So did it take place in New York adjacent?
Speaker 5 (21:33):
New York adjacent? Okay? The town is that? Is that
a movie?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
Yeah? Oh no, I don't know. You don't want to
get to two other movies. Anybody out in the crowd.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Have a guess. But that would have pizza and mystic pizza.
Speaker 6 (21:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Is it like a documentary about the Yankees? There's surely
there'd be a hot dog in there somewhere.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
You imagine if it was movie night and he picked
a documentary about the Yankees.
Speaker 5 (21:59):
Yeah, I would not want to watch that.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Well, you already said you wouldn't have chosen this, so
and he really wanted me to watch?
Speaker 5 (22:04):
You were adjacent? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
So something on the East Coast?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Okay, I'm just gonna tell you please, Okay, the Dark
Knight is it?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Does Batman take place? I thought it was a.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Gotham, but Gotham City's inspired by Chicago, New York in London?
What food would you have picked for the Dark Knight.
That's just so else said it. Okay, this is how
crazy this is. Somebody we were eating dinner and we
were talking about it and they're like, well, you could
have cooked bat And I didn't get it because I
did not realize The Dark Knight was about Batman.
Speaker 5 (22:40):
I thought The Dark Knight was the Joker. I am not. Yeah,
I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
So I was like, do they eat bats in the
movie and they're like, no, it's Batman. I was like, oh,
I thought this was just about the Joker. That movie
is disturbing?
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Is this is that the one that? Oh I never
saw it?
Speaker 6 (22:59):
You to.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I had to get up and stretch in the middle
of it because it was two hours and thirty minutes
and it was so stressful.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So Cinema Sunday sounds like a real I.
Speaker 5 (23:09):
Know, the last two we've do, but hey.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
This is but it's such a fun idea, fun idea.
It was really fun to watch Patrick get excited about
it and plan it. The food was good and the
company was good, and honestly, it is getting me outside
of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Okay, well that's good.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
I decided to get outside of my comfort zone and
do something you told me to do. I still want
to do cinema Sunday at some point.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But on Saturday night, Alex and I went on an
impromptu date night and we did the whole less pretend
like we're from out of town, like you've suggested to do.
And I highly recommend it for our listeners, whether it
with a group of girlfriends or even dining alone, like
you can just be someone different. We did drive out
(23:53):
of town so that it didn't feel out of town,
you know, like we're totally lying. Yeah, I drove down
to Franklin. It was like fifteen minutes. It is technically
another town. Yeah, so went to Franklin.
Speaker 5 (24:06):
What's the song you have to sing that gets you in.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
The Oh, we're on vacation. We're on vacation, Kat the song,
and I got to say it does help. So we
kind of were in the car and we're like, we're
on vacation. And we went and we sat at the
bar because I feel like it seems like a last minute,
you know, we're just going to go to this restaurant,
sit at the bar, checking out the town, and we
(24:30):
sit down and then the bartender immediately is like, have
you all ever been here before, and we're like, no,
we haven't. We're looking at the drinks, and then Alex goes,
so we're not from around here, and she was maybe
wanting to try something local, like to drink, like do
you have a cocktail that's and then he was like,
h the only thing I really have that local would
(24:53):
be kind of like the bourbon, but I don't want
to drink bourbon. But then there was a cocktail. There
was like gin and fresh squeezed carriage juice, and the
carrots were local. So I got that.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
It was so good.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Okay, I sleep on carriage juice.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
I saw the drink you posts and I almost said,
are you having a juice?
Speaker 5 (25:12):
But I was like, surely she's not drinking.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
It had gin celery liqueur. I know sounds gross. Was
it good?
Speaker 5 (25:20):
So good?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Wait? I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Alex said, well, so we're not really from around here,
so he was playing into it.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
We're waiting because we were waiting for the waiter to say, well,
where arey'all from? Because then we made a plan, well,
we FaceTime with three on our way down there, and
we had to come up with a plan that we
would do it all improv we'd had nothing pre decided planned.
So if the waiter said, where are y'all from, one
of us would answer, and then that and then we
(25:51):
roll with it from there whatever that person says. Like
if Alex had said, you know, we're from New Mexico,
then I would have to roll with that.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
What if they asked, what in New Mexico?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Albuquerque?
Speaker 5 (26:01):
Oh, okay, why you couldn't think of one? No, Albuquerque
never heard of it?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Okay, Santa Fe, I never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
I'm kidding, I've heard of that. But they would not
have been top of mind. I would have been like, uh, Franklin.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
New Mexico, it's crazy, there's one there.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, they're everywhere, Paris, Texas.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
Yeah. I would have had to do something like that.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
So then we were gonna roll with him. I was
so excited. And then the waiter never asked us any
questions none.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
He wasn't interested in your life, sulch.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
No questions, where are we're from? Although he did want
to share with us more of the native cuisine because
he brought out this nochi from the chef where he
was like, you've got to try this. Y'all didn't order
this one particular thing that this is something that's made
with grits, which is like a Southern.
Speaker 5 (26:47):
Thing instead of potato. Oh thenocch was was it good?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It was so good? And then there was like a
bread plate situation and we had already eaten and ordered
and we were done, but then people sitting next to
us ordered and I was like, oh my gosh, it
looks so good, and the waiter came over and said
it in front of us or the bartender. So I
can't have you leave without trying some of this bread,
since you know, I was made from a starter that's
(27:13):
one hundred and sixty years old, so some like Grandma
and Franklin at some point.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
Maybe passed down.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
I started passed down the starter, and then he wanted
me to be able to experience it wasn't from around here?
Speaker 5 (27:27):
Okay? Do you think he knew who you were?
Speaker 6 (27:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Not a chance, okay, because then that would that would
be why he didn't ask where you're from, because then
if you lied.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Well, if he said something, I'd be like, I'm not
from here. I'm from Nashville, right up the road.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
But Burtwood, what would what would you do if you
saw somebody? Because this happened to my parents. They I
think I told you this. They were in Italy and
my mom swears that Stanley Tucci was at the restaurant
she was at, and they told their waiter, I think
that's Stanley Tucci, who has like a Italian food show.
(28:02):
I don't know on what channel, but he goes to
different cities and experiences all their different cuisines. So the
waiter said something to him and he said, no, I'm
a composer from London.
Speaker 5 (28:12):
My mom's on vacation.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I was on vacation.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
My mom was like, I think he was lying. But
if you knew somebody was lying, I guess that's the
polite thing to do. It's like if they don't want
people to know, then like the like, don't privacy, Yeah,
don't blow the cover.
Speaker 5 (28:26):
Yeah. If they're like, I know that you're not from
out of town, you're on the radio.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, he didn't do that. Definitely, was that's what I'm
really cool?
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Service?
Speaker 2 (28:34):
No, but I loved it. We had fun and then
afterwards he told us, hey, before you go again, sincey'all
are from around here, you've got to go to this
speakeasy around the corner and you're gonna enter through like
where the Mellow Mushroom takes their trash, and it's gonna
look sketchy, but keep going and then pull this lever
(28:54):
and a green light's gonna come on and it'll let
you in. It sounds fake, but it's real.
Speaker 5 (28:59):
Should you be giving this secret out?
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah, I mean it's it's a speakeasy in Franklin, Okay,
thinking people, I've never heard of this.
Speaker 5 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
So then we're like, well, we're on vacation, so normally
we would go home, but obviously now we're going to
go do this. And we really didn't want another cocktail.
You don't want anything. We're like, well, we'll just get
one and share it and that way we can have
the experience. So we go and we walk around. We
go to the side of mel Mushroom and it is
starting to kind of smell like trash and we're like
this is the right Okay, this must be And then
(29:28):
we go through the door and we open it up
and there's a line in the trash hallway to the speakeasy,
and we were like, we're out. That's where we draw
the line. There's maybe like seven people deep. So a
couple of couples or maybe like you know, in a
friend but it smelt like trash. I mean just it
was like a little alley situation. But I we just
(29:49):
it wasn't because of the trash. It was just like
we didn't want to wait, like if we could have
just walked in and experienced to speak easy. But that's
where we drew the line. On vacation. We're like, we're done,
let's go back to our real lives. We're tired.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Because your vacation was over nine pm. And if you
were on vacation, would you actually stay in the line.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
I don't think so, because it was just we retired, Okay,
I had already been a long day.
Speaker 5 (30:09):
Yeah, and you went to a late dinner exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
If maybe it'd have been a little bit earlier, we
would have done it. But anyway, I will say it
worked like for us, it worked, So thank you for
the relationship.
Speaker 5 (30:20):
Hack idea tip. It's just fun. It's just fun.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Yeah, and again it doesn't I guess I call it
a relationship, but it'd really be just an anything like
a life, just bringing a.
Speaker 5 (30:30):
Little whimsical whimsy.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
Yes, it's the whimsy. It brought whimsy, So thank.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
You for that.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
And what's funny about that is when you called us
what would you call us?
Speaker 5 (30:40):
At like seven forty five?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Yeah, and driving down there, I.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
Was in bed with my like probably retainer in and
my classes on. You're like, what are you doing in
bedcause normally.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
You're the one that's out and about like living it up.
Patrick's blindfolded and You're like, we're just going to do
something crazy. And then you're like, oh, this was your low,
which is why you felt too energized.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
That's good for you. So we switch places.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Okay, Yeah, are you ready to get into the voicemail?
Speaker 5 (31:07):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Again, the topic is marrying someone with and eating disorder,
and I'll let Cord you the talking. So we'll hit
the voicemail. Now here you go.
Speaker 6 (31:28):
Hi, Amy and Kat, This is Corey. I've been a
longtime fan of the Bobby Bone Show and listen to
your podcast Amy since day one. Actually we got divorced
around the same time, and that's one of the reasons
why I'm messaging. I met an amazing guy as we've
been dating about eight months. He's very kind and considerate,
(31:49):
great communicator, love of God. He's the planner, plan spend
things for me. We have a great time, but there
is this one thing.
Speaker 4 (31:58):
I think he has an eating discl We're in our
fifties and there's certain things that he doesn't eat. You
know how when we're kids, and sometimes kids can be
picky eaters. Well, he actually never grew out of that.
He had this to the child, And in contrast, I
am a big foodie. I love food.
Speaker 6 (32:20):
He's been kind.
Speaker 4 (32:22):
He's taken me to restaurants that I was like, like,
I love crab legs, and he tissed me there, but
he didn't eat anything.
Speaker 6 (32:28):
He just watched me eat and enjoyed me eating.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Was very nice.
Speaker 4 (32:34):
And we've gone to like a Hawaiian restaurant and he
ain't French fries.
Speaker 6 (32:38):
And it's not really been a problem.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
But I think if we are going to continue our
relationship and possibly get married someday, that it will be
a problem. I guess I'm just acting your advice. Is
this an eating disorder? I kind of googled it and
found something about our FID and he and I talked
about it and asked me if his eating issues would
(33:02):
keep me from marrying him someday. And if I'm honest,
it is a factor in me making that decision. When
I told him that it bothered him because he did that,
It's like I was saying that he needed to change
something that he couldn't change, but can't he So anyway,
I'd love your buy have a great day.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
That is from our listener, Corey, thank you so much
for leaving that voicemail. It's like a sensitive situation because
it's not like he's choosing to be this way, like
there's something going on, and you obviously enjoy so many
other things about him, and so that sometimes what can
make a relationship difficult, especially when it's something that isn't
(33:48):
officially diagnosed, which is certainly what we cannot do here.
And I don't think Kat, even being a therapist that
specializes in eating disorder and body image, you can't even
say for certain. When the voicemail was playing earlier, I
mentioned this at the top of the episode, You're like, Oh,
that sounds like our fit, which Corey mentioned in the
(34:11):
voicemail from her research, that's what she has found. So
what can you say in regards to that that you
feel comfortable saying as a therapist and I know as
a mom like other people that might be listening might
be like, oh, that sounds familiar, Like I think of
my daughter when I hear that, and some things that
she may have going on, and I don't even know.
I'd never even heard of our fit. So now I
(34:32):
want to research it and see if there's some different
things we can do that will help expand her food
list because food is limited because of how she is
with food. There are just certain sensitivities and I try
to have compassion around it, and then it can be
incredibly frustrating because of texture and taste and all the
(34:53):
different things at play.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
So why don't we break this down two separate things.
One I can get we have a little tiny piece
of what arfit is. And then on the other side
of that, so there's this concern maybe he has an
eating disorder, and if he has an eating disorder, does
not need to be addressed. And then the other part
of this question is what do I do in this relationship?
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Is this allowed to be a deal breaker?
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Is this going to like how do I work through
some of those things that maybe I can't change that
actually might be important to me because it's okay to
recognize that food being part of your life and something
that you like to experiment with and enjoy. It's okay
that that's a big deal to you. So two separate things.
Let's start with the urfed part. So ourfit is probably
(35:40):
a lesser known eating disorder because it doesn't typically have
much to do about somebody's weight and wanting to control
their weight or any type of body image, which a
lot of the other types of eating disorders either don't either.
But this typically doesn't really have anything.
Speaker 5 (35:55):
To do with that. It stands for avoidant restrictive food
and take disorder, and a lot of times it is
rooted in like sensory issues which you mentioned, so textures
or smells, stuff like that that can just be part
of something that somebody has a hard time sitting with
or experiencing. So has nothing to.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Do with oh I don't want to eat that, the
calories or anything like that. It's that this doesn't feel
good to me and I can't tolerate it. Or it
can have to do with traumatic experiences, so if you
were force fed things as a child or had any
kind of trauma around foods. Sometimes we can limit our
palatee in that way to avoid that stuff.
Speaker 5 (36:35):
You can develop it, like if.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
You have medical issues like gastrone testinal issues, you might
develop a fear of a lot of foods and you
might want to avoid them and restrict them because of that,
which all of this stuff is very understandable. Or another
way that trauma can create some just like dissatisfaction or
just distaste to a lot of foods is if you've
(36:57):
had experience of choking or something like vomiting or something
with eating a food, you might become just very resistant
to it in the future.
Speaker 5 (37:07):
So that's where a lot of that comes from.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
I think when people see it, their first inclination is
to have this judgment of they're a picky eater, like
that's just a picky eater. And this used to be
called selective eating disorder, where it was like these people
were only selecting these certain like they're very selective. And
I think the language on that wasn't very truthful that
(37:30):
it has a lot more to do with I can't
tolerate this kind of food and.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
This food is hard for me.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
All that to say, there's treatment for it, and you
can work through some of these things, and the person
who's experiencing that has to want to engage in that treatment,
Like eating sometimes pasta, the texture of pasta. People can
be really like if I don't, I can't tolerate that.
For us, we're like, oh pasta, it's so good, it's
so yummy, or something like yogurt. Yogurt's a big one.
(38:00):
People are like, oh, I can't. So for maybe us,
I like that food. It's like, well, just like, learn
to eat pasta. But it is such a distressing experience
for somebody like that has this eating disorder to eat
that food, that it might not be worth it to them.
So it feels different in their body than we can
(38:22):
sometimes understand, because just we you can't force yourself to
experience that.
Speaker 2 (38:26):
Right, because it's not just like, oh, like I don't
like allips, yes, like olives are disgusting to me. This
is so much bigger than that. Obviously, the foods get
so limmited to where they can barely go out to eat,
and when experiencing food is such an important part to her,
and while it's so kind that he'll take her and
he's willing to go, sometimes just sitting there and if
(38:48):
they're not eating and you're eating in front of them,
it just doesn't feel like a fun experience together.
Speaker 5 (38:55):
And again this is me.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I'm not diagnosing this person because I have like this
much information about what he's experiencing.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
If you're listening on podcasts, Kat held up about two inches.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
Oh yeah, this much everybody's watching on YouTube.
Speaker 2 (39:08):
They're not. I don't know why, but they're not. But hey,
we're on YouTube. If you want to watch us, shout out,
because there's a lot of you listening that are definitely
not watching on YouTube. But I don't watch that much
stuff on YouTube, so I get it. I mean sometimes
I do, but I listen to podcasts when I'm doing
other things and I'm not I'm.
Speaker 5 (39:26):
Walking around them.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
What I Yeah, limited information, And I just wanted to
give that little spiel because it is an e needy
disorder that a lot of people don't know about, and
it's really easy to have judgment when we don't have
all the information.
Speaker 5 (39:39):
And this is.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Something that I think Corey, our listener, is trying to
really walk through with compassion. So there's two things here
that like, if this is an eating disorder, I want
to be able to help this person, and we can
only control what we can control. And at the end
of the day, if this person, if this is not
just dressed enough to this person's life, if he's still
(40:02):
able to get the nutrients he needs in his body
and live the life that he wants, that he chooses
he might not have a desire to change. And so
then you outside of that also have to make a
decision of Okay, well is this something that I can
learn to live with or not?
Speaker 5 (40:19):
And there's not a right or wrong. I don't think
there's a right or wrong answer.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
There no, because either way it's it could be impacting
your quality of life, and that's for you to decide.
And I think maybe maybe, maybe again, I don't know
these people at all, but my hope, hello, hope would
be that he didn't think that, which we had to
(40:44):
shorten some of the voicemail. It was very very very long,
so listeners, was very very very very long, but good information.
We have information that some listeners didn't hear and depending
on what part was left in the voicemail, but what
we know is that he didn't think he was going
to meet somebody like he's lived. He's in his fifties
and he's lived his entire life or much of his
(41:07):
life likely this way, and he never thought he would
meet somebody that he wanted to share his life with,
and so now that he has, he might be like, oh,
this is potentially limiting experiences with someone that I really
enjoy being with that I didn't think I was ever
going to meet. So yeah, if there actually is some
support out there for me in this that can expand
(41:30):
my opportunities my experiences with my partner, then he may
be willing to look into it. Now. It also could
be like a flat no, and then that's where you
have to assess and figure out Okay, radical acceptance. We've
talked about that recently. It's sort of like, this is
situation and I can't control it, and how do I
(41:51):
want to come alongside and live with it? If you
choose to accept it and move forward and do marry him,
because that is the question. You can't go into it like, oh, well,
I'll marry him and then eventually I'll fix it, because
that you're going to just have to radically accept that
this is how he eats something in my relationship that
I don't think Alex in mind that I'm bringing up
(42:12):
because it's something he walked through with his wife when
she had cancer, and all of the information and doctors
and appointments, and they went everywhere to get all kinds
of opinions. We actually talked about it on our date
night on vacation, which I know this sounds like a
heavy discussion, but we had not ever talked about some
(42:33):
of her treatments and where they went. But something about
MD Anderson came up because that's where my mom was.
He goes, oh, we flew down there for an opinion.
They were living in Nashville, so they went to Vanderbilt,
they went down to Houston, m d Anderson, they went
to Duke, like they were trying to go everywhere to
get different opinions because everyone was just perplexed at what
she had, how it was spreading. There's some words he
(42:56):
said that I don't even really remember, like some medical
speak that I wasn't even familiar with, because he was like,
I had never experienced cancer before, so some of this
was just so foreign to me. And I remember that
with my mom walking through that with her like a
doctor's woman's just being so overwhelmed and trying to take
in all of the information and learn so much. But
you know, he was talking about how every doctor also
(43:19):
had like a different take on it, and even with
the diet and how you should be eating, and but
something that just really resonated with him was with colon cancers,
certain foods that will inflame certain things that can ignite
the colon cancer. Even know if I'm saying that properly,
but you get what I'm saying. And so he's very
(43:42):
strict with those foods, Like if there was a top five,
he's just not going to put those in his body.
And I don't even want to list them out and
not trying to like put fear into anybody at all whatsoever,
But if those are on the menu, he's just like
not going to be getting them. Where I don't limit
that as much. But I think some of that is
me rebelling again my eating disorder days of like I
don't want my kids to feel restriction. But his restriction
(44:06):
isn't coming from a place of an eating disorder, but
it is a fear of sorts of genetically their mom
did have it, and he believes the science behind XYZ
to be true, and so he just wants to try
to fuel them in their bodies with certain things when
he can. So there are things that I just know
we're not gonna order our experiences. I know, we're like
(44:27):
we're not always gonna get dessert, which that's kind of
a bummer for me sometimes And if I wanted to
get the dessert, I could, but I know sometimes he's
just like not for it. And Kat was like, oh gosh,
I have to get to dessert every single time.
Speaker 5 (44:40):
Not every time, but like that is I love, It's fun.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's one of my favorite parts of going
out is then like not even at the same restaurant,
will go somewhere else.
Speaker 5 (44:49):
But that's something I think.
Speaker 1 (44:51):
That you're sharing that to say that that's something in
my relationship and it's still worth it to be in that.
It Also, his choices don't always have to be my choices,
and I think that's important to add too, that.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
You don't get a little bummed sometimes. Yes, yeah, so
Corey might get a little bummed sometimes because I know
I'm like, I know we're not going to have dessert
or like I want something sweet, and sometimes I have
to check myself and I probably will need to share
this because I don't think I've said it now that
I'm saying on the podcast. I want to say it
to him, but it's like sometimes I feel uncomfortable if
I want something sweet, and like almost like I can't
(45:25):
like you, like I'm doing something wrong and I'm not.
I know he wouldn't want me to feel that way.
And some of that could be my own stuff that
I'm projecting on to myself, but I just it's just
how I feel. Well. This podcast is about feelings.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
So I think that's helpful to hear, and it's also
helpful to say out loud, because then you can recognize
it's almost like you're taking on his fears or his feelings,
or his genetics or his kid's genetics or anything like that.
How you're saying that, like they have his wife's genes,
and so his feelings and his fear around certain foods,
(46:01):
if he doesn't want to change those, that's okay. We
can actually be in relationship with somebody who has different
feelings and experiences and ideals and all of that. I
don't have to then take that on. And it doesn't
sound like he's forcing you to take that on either.
There might be some things that he just feels strongly about,
but recognizing that, oh, that doesn't have to be my
(46:23):
reality there.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Right, And if I want something sweet, I should just
say I'm going to get something sweet, and I am
going to do that for myself. You don't have to
have any Yeah, although I want that experience with him,
like when we went and got the Frosties, but those
wards Frosty's, we Windys, we went to Dairy Queen, we
got the Blizzards. It was fun. It's more fun to
do it, it's more fun to do together. And so
(46:46):
I guess for me, I'll just cherish those moments a
little bit more and then respect the other times that
he doesn't want that in his body, which is okay.
I'm trying to just think of like Corey being in
certain situations where it's just like I just want to
to eat crab with me.
Speaker 5 (47:01):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:02):
And also I think going back to talking about our
fed because people don't.
Speaker 5 (47:09):
Know it's a thing.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
He might not even recognize that that's something that he
could work through, right, Like, he might not even know that.
So when she says like this might be something that
would keep me from marrying you, like I have to
think about that, and he's like, well, this is how
I've been my whole life. Maybe he doesn't know there
are people out there that are struggling with things. It
is one of the most helpful. It sounds crazy, but
(47:33):
sometimes when people get a diagnosis, even a mental health diagnosis,
it feels so freeing because they're like, oh, this is
a thing that other people have, it's not just me.
And also there might be a way out. Yeah, they're
so important about this, right, there's support, there are people
that specialize in this, and so sometimes having that, even
though we don't want to just go around labeling people,
(47:55):
but even it's almost as like I feel understood, I
feel seen, you.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
Know, when not alone? You want it? You know what else?
Speaker 5 (48:01):
What else?
Speaker 2 (48:02):
Hope?
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Hello?
Speaker 2 (48:04):
Hello? Hope.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
I think that's like the topic of or the subject
of our episode. But yeah, it can give him hope
of like, oh, well maybe I we don't know, he
might have feelings sitting there across from her, being like
I wish I could enjoy this with her. We don't
know if that's something he's like hidden and suppressed. So
there could be a lot of I think we're not
going to give you any like actual this is what
(48:28):
you need to do. But I think something to think
about is do I want to have a conversation to
see how he really feels about all this, like get
really vulnerable and curious about what his experience is when
he takes you out to eat and he just orders
the fries. He might feel numb to it at this point,
but maybe it's because nobody's ever really asked him.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and yeah, arfid who knew?
I did not know was the thing? The cat knew
right when she heard Corey start talking about it, and
I was like, that's my girl, thank you, that's my
co host.
Speaker 5 (49:00):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (49:01):
We'll close with a really cool email that we got
from a listener named how do you think we say that?
Mala Mila Meila m We don't know because I ll
ella guess what. She's from Finland. That's which is why
we might not know how to That's why we called
the email because I think we were talking about how
(49:22):
maybe we had a listener in Nigeria or something, and
she was like.
Speaker 5 (49:25):
Hey, so this is our email of the day.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
Hey, Amy and kat I was listening to your episode
from a couple of days ago and you were talking
about maybe having listeners abroad. Well, I just wanted you
to know you have at least one listener in Finland.
I've been listening to the Bobby Bone Show for over
ten years now. First heard about you guys, and I
was working in Wisconsin for a summer in twenty thirteen,
and I've been listening ever since. I really like feeling things. Also, ps,
I know Amy wanted to explore new places. You should
(49:51):
totally visit Finland someday. I think you would love it.
Speaker 5 (49:54):
Okay, guest Mila, I'm smiling so hard. One that's a
cool email. But like you were doing one of.
Speaker 1 (50:01):
Those commercial it's like all like the side effects of something.
I've never heard you talk so fast? Do you ever
do those?
Speaker 2 (50:10):
I do? Okay, Yeah, at the end of like car
commercials and stuff. Yeah, was I really well?
Speaker 5 (50:16):
I was trying. I'm hot.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
We got to figure out a new plan. This is
a little inside baseball, but we have like lights that
are in here. Or it's a really muggy day here
in Nashville today. There was a storm earlier, and I
think the humidity.
Speaker 5 (50:27):
And and you're wearing a sweater and.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
I'm wearing a sweater.
Speaker 5 (50:30):
I don't know why, Well, we can wrap it up.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Maybe I just think that the heat was causing me
to read quickly.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
Yeah, I mean it was a talent that's supposed to
be kind of a compliment.
Speaker 5 (50:40):
Oh really, you can be a speed reader.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Thank you, You're welcome. We did it all right. If
y'all want to email us, you can from anywhere in
the world, Finland, Nigeria, wherever you live. It will make
it to us.
Speaker 5 (50:55):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
There at Feeling Things podcast dot com you mentioned earlier,
we are on to You can like and subscribe.
Speaker 5 (51:02):
You can call us and leave the voicemail. Yeah, eight
seven seven.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Two o seven two o seven seven eight seven seven
two oh seven two o seven seven, and you can
follow us on Instagram. I love that. And then also
I just want to say I like going and reading
through our comments, which is manageable at this point on
all of our posts because it's just like few here
and there, mostly you and me.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
So like.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
Messaging back to each that they're manageable because either Feeling
Things is commenting, which is either me or Cat, and
then there's my account Radio a me and then Kat
van Buren, which is Matt's account, and then sometimes Kat's
husband will chime in with a comment, go comment, and
then maybe my sister. But occasionally we have some listeners
in there and it's so fun. So that's just a
(51:49):
little if you're still listening at this point and this
say isn't you know? If you make it to the end,
then you're loyal and I know that maybe you'll throw
a comment if you think of it and the video
go up, just like, leave us a comment because that's
fun and we'll engage with it and reply.
Speaker 5 (52:04):
And be like, what you watched this? Well, people are
watching it. That's good and they like it. They should
always comment.
Speaker 2 (52:11):
It's just a y'all will always comment and comments are fun. Yeah.
So and the plus, it's just funny to me that
when I go through that, I'm like, oh my gosh,
we have six comments. Yay, And I go look at
them and it's.
Speaker 1 (52:22):
Like you me killing things were probably like do they
have no friend my sister Patrick.
Speaker 2 (52:31):
But we are gaining more Instagram followers by the day,
which is so fun because it's a climb. It's fun.
Speaker 5 (52:39):
We hope you have the day you need to have.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.