Give Fear Space, Try Stream of Consciousness Writing, Make Easy Cookies (You're Welcome), & Seek Change Out Of Love (Not Hate) For Yourself

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty, but
it's pretty beautiful. Thank you. Laugh a little month, tighten

(00:28):
your kicking with four Happy Thursday. Amy here, welcome to
four Things. I got an o g old school four
things format for you today with four totally different things.
We're going to talk about giving fear space, stream of consciousness, writing,
making easy cookies, which are gonna thank me for that

(00:51):
one because they really are the best, most simplest cookies
in the world and they're so good, and seeking change
out of love not hate for yourself first, all right,
give fear space. That's what we're going to talk about,
and it's inspired by something that my friend Lisa posted
about fear on Instagram. But before I get into that

(01:15):
and Lisa's account, because she's an awesome follow I gotta
tell you about another account that I recently started following
after Jennifer Aniston posted about it. It's Brunch with Babs,
and I feel like I might be a little late
to the party because she has one point eight million followers,
and I love Babbs's Instagram bio. She says, I'm the

(01:36):
Internet Mom and Grandma, you didn't know you needed come
for the family recipes, stay for the motherly advice. Anyway.
She totally is the mom grandma that I didn't know
I needed. I don't have a mom and a grandma anymore.
Not trying to be Debbie Downer in any way, shape
or form, but sometimes I mean simple things about you know,

(01:56):
with Thanksgiving coming up, Like there's stuff I used to
ask my mom, like, Hey, I'm gonna be having this
many people over, how much food should I make? And
my mom will be able to help me with that.
But brunch with Babs she does stuff like that on
her account, Like she'll tell you she put up a
post the other day that tells you exactly how much
food you need to have it Thanksgiving, based on how
many people are going to be coming over, how much

(02:17):
wine you need to purchase. I love so many of
her posts, and I wanted to make sure that I
shared it with you in case you need someone like
Babs in your life. She really does have awesome looking recipes,
but she also has a hacks for your home. And
she does this thing called Bab's boot Camp where she
has a whistle for these posts, and I feel like

(02:39):
when the whistle blows, I need to sit up and
pay attention, and it makes me want to get a
whistle from my house and maybe my kids will pay
attention to me a little more. But when she blows
that whistle, the stuff she's teaching me, it's like mind
blowing stuff about cleaning your dishwasher and your washing machine,
stuff in your car and one pot pasta dishes. Like
she really is the best. So I just wanted to

(03:01):
give you all that Instagram follow in case you're not
already again, it's a brunch with Babs and shout out
to my friend who's not really my friend, but I
watch her on Friends and I follow her on Instagram
Jennifer Anderston for posting about Babs because I love it. Alright,
So this person really is my friend and it's Lisa
hame y'all likely might know her because she co founded

(03:23):
Outweigh with me and she comes on this podcast from
time to time. She's got her own podcast on my
network called The Truth Eist Life, and her Instagram handle
is her name at Lisa ham h a y I am,
And she put up a post recently. It's actually from
November two, in case you want to go to her
account and actually see the post. But it's about giving

(03:44):
fear space, and I'm going to read it for you now.
Pushing through fear isn't the only way to grow. In fact,
that method can trigger panic attacks and cause setbacks for
what you think you can and can't do. Instead, give
fear space. Fear doesn't have to be a blockade. It
can be a stop sign, a place where we pause

(04:07):
and evaluate. Then ask yourself, is this discomfort or is
this distress? Because understanding our biology and that we're primed
to evaluate danger so that we can maximize our chance
of survival. And you know, sometimes we get it right
and instinctually make choices that protect us. But sometimes our

(04:28):
wires get crossed and we get scared even though it's
perfectly safe. Other times we live inside our comfort zone
doing nothing that touches discomfort. Before I recently went on
a hot air balloon ride, I must have asked thirty
five people if I should do it or not. None
of their answers felt right because none of those answers
came from me getting to know my own fears and capabilities. Today,

(04:52):
when I paused, I realized that since becoming a mom,
I'm a much bigger, scaredy cat and that well, that
it's normal. Our fears of leaving behind our loved ones
and responsibilities are much more clear and center and impossible
to ignore. Rather than telling myself over and over that
I'm too scared, I leaned into the truth. I was scared,

(05:13):
but I wasn't going to not do this amazing thing
because it made me fear scared. It was discomfort, not distress,
and so I did it anyway, no grit, just pushing through,
just listening to myself deeply. Let's normalize being afraid, healthy
skepticism and giving fear some breathing space. Which I love

(05:33):
everything about this post. It's so spot on about fear.
We even talked about fear at the four Things Live
in Which at All, which if you haven't listened to
that episode, you can go back and hear all that
Kat and my sister had to say about fear in
the second and third things. But Lisa, thank you for
those three tips, and you know the number one tip

(05:54):
being give fear space. Fear doesn't have to be a blockade.
It can be a stop sign, a place where we
can pause and evaluate. And I definitely second Li says,
plead to normalize being afraid. To have healthy skepticism and
to give fear again, give fear some breathing space. I

(06:14):
love that she used it as a stop sign because
it doesn't have to be a roadblock. We don't just
just stop and turn around. It's not a dead end.
We maybe could just stop, see where we want to
go from there, and breathe through it and try to
tap into ourselves like Lisa did, instead of asking thirty
five people around us, what is it that our body
is telling us about? Whatever it is that we're afraid of.

(06:36):
This hot air balloon thing for her was an actual thing,
but for you, it's now used as a metaphor in
your life because a lot of us, I mean I've
I've never gotten to a hard, hot air balloon and
quite honestly have zero desire to because well, I'm too scared.
Maybe one day I will do it. But I can
apply this to other things in my life that I'm
afraid of, and you can do the same. So I
hope this helps second right stream of consciousness writing that

(07:03):
we're going to talk about now. And in one of
my recent journal entries, I dedicated it to a mantra
because I really didn't feel like I had anything to
write about, so I just wrote this over and over
and over again until it flowed into something else, and
the mantra was this, I think thoughts about what you
want to be. Again. I wrote that over and over
and over until it started to turn into me making

(07:26):
a list of things that I want to be. And
I was able to list out twenty eight things. Uh,
some things that I already am and that I would
like to continue to be, and then other things that
I'm not yet but that I hope to be. And
I share this as an example to how I've become
someone that journals and can free flow on pages and

(07:47):
pages inside my four things gratitude journal actually is what
I use now that was made to be a simple
journal that's not intimidating at all. You can just jot
down four things that you are thankful for. It could
be one word, it could be stickers, whatever, but you
could just take up the whole page if you want to.
And I use my journal for both. But really, when

(08:07):
I eliminated the rules around any kind of journaling is
when things started to flow and get easier. And sometimes
it's as simple as taking a mantra and writing it
over and over on the page twenty times until it
makes you flow into more. And some days maybe it
doesn't flow into more, and that's okay because there's no rules.
It might just be you writing a mantra over and over.

(08:29):
You never know where the stream of consciousness writing is
going to take you. But I especially like when I
do it in the morning if I have time, and
then sometimes I like to do it before bed, as
like a brain dump to just get all my thoughts
out that so that I can sleep better. But I
want to be clear, this isn't something that I do
every day. I feel like that also freaks me out

(08:50):
when I see people recommend things and I think that
they're so awesome and this is something that they're doing
every single day and they're so dedicated, and why can't
I be more like that? So that's not how I'm
presenting this to you at all. I just want you
to at least give it a try and then see
where it goes from there. And that's what I'm trying
to do. I just try to do this as much
as I possibly can. I just start writing and I

(09:11):
don't stop. Sometimes I said a timer, Sometimes I don't.
I don't edit. I don't overthink. I just write down
all kinds of thoughts that I have, or you know,
like the example I gave you, I write the mantra
over and over and over till it flows into a thought.
And one minute I might be writing about the mantra,
the next I might be writing about some things that

(09:33):
I'm anxious about or some frustrations that I have. The
next minute, I might be writing about my kids, or
my dog, or my cat, or this little teddy bear
that I had as a kid. I don't know how
that teddy bear popped into my head the other day,
but it did, and I ended up writing about it
and all the different things I remember about it and
its role that it played in my childhood. And then

(09:54):
the next line after that was about these nacho flavored
pop chips that I'm addicted to right now. So on
his whoever reads my journal might be like, Okay, this
girl's thoughts are all over the place, but also that's okay.
I even saw someone posts the other day about how
if they were to suddenly pass away, they have a
pack with their best friend to go to their house

(10:15):
and get all of their journals and burn them so
that no one has a chance to read them, because
there's just so much in her journals she doesn't want
anybody else to see. And I feel like that's how
we need to write, just right, as though nobody is watching,
sort of like that saying, dance like nobody's watching, journal
like nobody's watching, and then make a pack with your
best friend to burn your journals, you know, in case

(10:37):
something happens to you. I looked at the benefits of
stream of consciousness writing and I thought I would read
you them just in case you need a little extra
nudge or encouragement to try this out. And this is
from Become a Writer Today dot com. First of all,
it allows you to avoid overthinking because you're just flowing
away with words. It takes you on a journey of
self discovery. I mean, even that Teddy Bear thing from

(10:59):
my childhood, I hadn't thought about that and so long.
And I'm not going to share with you exactly what
I was writing because it's my own personal journal thoughts,
but that Teddy Bear did play an important role for me,
and it was leading to something about my childhood then
and then me as an adult now. So again, it
could take you on a journey of self discovery. It
can stop writer's block in case you have that. For me,

(11:22):
I was blocked one day, and that's why I use
the mantra over and over and over until it floated
something else. It teaches you to be vulnerable. It helps
you explore your thinking patterns, can help you make decisions.
You can discover your writing style, and it can help
release your mental load, which again that's when I use
it the most at night if I need to just
dump stuff out so that I don't go to bed

(11:44):
with a lot of things on my mind. So there
you go. I hope you all will try out Stream
of Consciousness writing, and if you do, send me an
email and let me know how it's going for you.
Four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com. Raise

(12:09):
your hand if you love easy recipes to make in
the kitchen, because I'm about to tell you about the
easiest cookies in the entire world, because at that time
of year again and I love to remind you about
my favorite, very easy pumpkin cookies. They only require two ingredients, yes,
only two ingredients. You will like them, your kids will
like them. You can eat them for breakfast, snacks, with lunch,

(12:31):
with dinner. You can eat them whenever you want. I
will be putting the recipe in my show notes and
then I may make a video. So go to my
Instagram today. I'll put up one if you want to
see what they look like. At Radio Amy is where
you can find me. But one can of pumpkin pure
is all you need, and one box of spice cake mix.
I also have used the Simple Mills pumpkin muffin mix before,

(12:55):
so spice cake mix, whatever brand, or a pumpkin cake
mix will so work. You just pre heat your oven
at three fifty. You line your baking sheet with parchment paper.
You mix your pumpkin and your cake mixed together in
a bowl and then whisk it away and then scoop
out like a tablespoon ish onto a baking sheet, and

(13:15):
then you bake them for like thirteen and fifteen minutes
and you pull them out wail. You can also frost
them with cream, cheese, vanilla, or sugar glaze icing if
you want to go the extra mile, but not necessary.
And then in my mind that would technically be a
third ingredient, and I don't really have time for that,
so I don't do that. But I know plenty of
other people do. And again, if you want to just

(13:36):
see this recipe, go to the show notes. I don't
know if y'all ever check out the show notes of
the podcast, but sometimes that's where you can find Instagram
handles or links to certain things that we're talking about,
or you could screenshot this recipe that way. Once you
go to the store, you go get the ingredients, you
can go back and reference it. Although immune as you
can tell, the instructions are pretty darn easy. Okay, doing

(14:08):
something fun here for the fourth thing, where I'm going
to actually share four things inside of the fourth thing,
so it feels kind of like inception or something like that.
And these are just four little things that I want
you to know about or think about maybe check out.
And I'm going to start with a quote that I
saw about seeking change for yourself from a place of

(14:28):
love and not hate for yourself. Now it's from Young Pablo,
which I don't know if you'll follow that account on Instagram,
but it's also a good follow and the quote goes
like this, it is exhausting to be serious all of
the time, and it is unhealthy to look at yourself
and always see things that you want to change. Personal
growth is real when it is balanced with acceptance. Maturity

(14:52):
is changing because you love yourself, not because you hate
what you see. I'm gonna say that last line there
for the people in the back. Maturity is changing because
you love yourself, not because you hate what you see.
I just really think that sometimes it's easy to get
stuck in a loop of craving transformation and change. And

(15:13):
it's a great thing to want to grow and change,
for sure, but sometimes it comes from the wrong place.
And I say that because I've definitely been there, and
when I saw the quote, it resonated with me, and
I thought, Okay, someone else might need to hear this,
so I thought I would share that with you all.
The second thing is cold weather is officially upon us.

(15:34):
Some parts of the country don't really have it, but
Nashville definitely got super cold recently, and my friend Steven Young,
that runs a homeless ministry in Nashville called Home Street Home,
put up a friendly reminder a little video chat about
the cold weather. So I just want to do remind
you all to keep the homeless in your communities in mind.
If you have some warm clothes that you could donate

(15:55):
or you could buy some things to keep in your
car so that you could pass out if you happen
to pass the homeless people. And you can check out
Home Street Home t n dot org for more info
and see the work that Stephen does. But a tip
that he has shared with us often is that it's
so much better to give someone a really nice, thick
pair of winter socks just giving them one pair over

(16:17):
a bag of ten or a dozen cheap socks that
don't keep their feet warm at all whatsoever. So just
keep that in mind if you're going through things to
donate or you are going to the store and actually
gonna buy things to keep in your car. All right,
the third thing here inside the fourth thing is one
of Cats you Need Therapy podcast episodes. Well it's actually

(16:39):
two episodes since it's a two part interview. But last
week and then again this week, she had on JP
Sacks to talk about leaving a relationship versus being the
one that gets left, and JP has experienced it both
ways and he shares with Kat what he's learned. And
then Kat was just so excited about this interview with Jp.
She said that it is one of her all time favorites,

(17:02):
so just definitely wanted to recommend it to you. You
can download wherever you listen to podcasts. It's you Need
Therapy podcast And again, it's all about relationships. Maybe you're
the one that got left in the relationship or maybe
you're the one that had to do the leaving. I
think you're really going to enjoy their chat. And the
fourth thing inside this fourth thing is shopping with a

(17:23):
purpose for Christmas Now. A great place to do that
with a lot of gift ideas is obviously four things
dot com because supporting Haiti is near and dear to
my heart. There's so many things up there from the
four Things totes to pull overs and more. You can
also go to shop Spoa dot com esp w a
uh the star necklaces up there. I give you both

(17:45):
of those links. They're under the shop forward umbrella. So
no matter which one you use, and if whatever you
get from there, you're gonna be paying it forward when
you shop Now, one of our most popular four Things
items for Christmas is now available. I told you all
during the Fifth Thing this week that on Monday night
they were released for a limited time only read Customizable

(18:05):
Christmas Pullovers, But I forgot to mention that there's also
a blue option unless it is sold out by this point,
but it might still be up there, but you can
put whatever four things that you like about Christmas, as
long as it's thirteen characters are less. My favorite four
things Christmas one that I have is baby Jesus, Maria Carrey,
family time at cookies. And these pullovers go towards supporting Haiti.

(18:27):
So if you want to make some as gifts or
for a cute family pajama photo, like get flannel bottoms
and everyone looks festive, then order soon because you want
enough time to get all made and then shipped out
to you before the holiday season really kicks into gear.
And then again you can get there by going to
four things dot com. All right, I hope you all

(18:49):
are having the day that you need to have. I
will see you on Saturday for an episode of Outweigh
if you're a listener of that, and if not, I'll
see you next Tuesday for the fifth thing by w

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Give Fear Space, Try Stream of Consciousness Writing, Make Easy Cookies (You're Welcome), & Seek Change Out Of Love (Not Hate) For Yourself