June 24, 2025 • 53 mins
Amy’s feeling angry, but she’s thankful for it showing her what matters and where her boundaries need to be. They impromptu come up with a “salsa scale” to measure anger: mild (annoyed), medium (mad), and hot (furious) and, surprisingly, it really is a good way to explain the level of anger you’re at. Also in this episode:
• Borderline impossible errands for ADHD brains (returning things, getting gas, mailing stuff... relatable, right?)
• Kat’s new jewelry hobby and how hobbies help anxiety
• A listener email about talking to someone on a dating app who doesn’t realize they’ve met you in real life!
• A listener voicemail on standing up to sexist comments at work
Call us anytime at 877-207-2077 and remember: you’re a sunflower, they’re just an ugly weed pretending to be fancy (encouragement from Kat to Amy that’ll make sense once you listen!)
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts ay
and Cat got your cob and locking a brother Lady's
and felts do you just follow in the spirit where
it's all the front over real stuff to the chill
stuff and the.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Stop you feel things. This is feeling things with Amy
and Cat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy, I'm Cat
and out of the gate. We got the feeling of
the day. Yeah, and I'm smiling as I say this
feels weird. The feeling of the day, which I've sort
of gotten over, is anger, because you're I woke up angry.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, okay, what kind of anger?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I don't know what? Like are there different types of anger?
I mean, I guess I know that there's different feelings
involved in that, but like anger is the one I'm
touching on. Like it's like a spectrum, Like, yeah, what
level of anger? Okay, let's do it like salsa? Like
am I mild salsa? Or am I medium?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm hot? Okay?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
It's like what would mild be.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Like frustrated, annoyed?
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Okay, Yeah, I'm not so, I'm for sure mild.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Okay, what's medium? Mad, upset, pissed off?
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Oh I don't like the feet word. You don't like
that now, so that's fine, we'll roll with it. I'm
definitely medium Okay, so so far Okay, now hot hot salsa.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
That would be like enraged or I mean, there could
be a little actual rage in there.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I don't feel like I'm raging furious. I'm furious. I'm
like so frustrated and makes me furious. I'm perplexed. You know,
we're just like feeling I'm confused and that leads to anger,
Like I'm just frustrated?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Am I?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
All of these salas A my mild medium hot, which
would mean I'm hot?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, well you you're you have a you have a
mild feeling, but to the hot level.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
So it's like like.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
On the spectrum of frustrated euro up here. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I just woke up with this. I couldn't shake it.
So I busted out a coping tool, which would be journaling,
and I journaled for twelve minutes.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Did you time it?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Because I started journaling it and then twelve minutes later
I was done.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I don't know if you said a timer for twelve.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I didn't actually set a timer, but like the clock,
I knew what time was when I started, and I
was like, oh wow, I just wrote for twelve straight minutes.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Were you like scribbling?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I tried to write as fast as possible because that's
just very That's what's therapeutic for me, especially if I'm
dumping things out and I just like let it flow.
Like whatever was coming to my brain, I wrote it.
It'd be actually be interesting now that I've gone the
day and I'm a little more calm if I read
what I wrote this morning, because I know that I
was dumping a lot within that twelve minutes. I know
(02:56):
that there's things I wrote down I wouldn't recognize.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Now, Wow, you don't think.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
I think that there's sentences where I'd be like, huh,
I read that. Yeah, I think that was very helpful
for me. It helped me like lay out my thoughts
and continue on with my morning with ease, because I
didn't like waking up with that feeling. And then I
sent you a text after at some point in the morning.
(03:24):
I know that I texted you and you replied with this,
You can do this. They suck. That's how I read it.
You can do it. Is that a movie quote?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, isn't that from water Boy?
Speaker 6 (03:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Okay, so that's how I read it.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You can do this.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
You can do this. They suck. You're a beautiful sunflower
and they're an ugly weed that thinks they're a flower,
but really they just kill everything around them. And I
was like, oh my gosh, that's true.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It was helpful.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
It was helpful because it just helps me understand the
boundary I need, which is the gift of anger. So
which when we started this podcast, we started with all
the coreat feelings, and we know that one of the
gifts of anger is perspective. It's information, and it helps
us know where we need to have some boundaries and
(04:25):
what we need to do. And so I was like,
not mistake.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And I think because anger is a justice emotion and
it shows us like how to care for ourselves well
and care for others well, it could be helpful to
feel that because that means that you care about yourself.
You're like this, I deserve to be treated better depending
on the situation.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
My inner alarm was going off, like saying hot, hot,
seek get the gualk chips, some more chips. Like that's
how I feel like randomly have a salsa analogy to
gauge our anger. Yeah, which I love now that. Yes, listeners,
(05:05):
next time they're either eating salsa, they're gonna think, am
I angry about anything? Or next time they're angry, they're
gonna start craving chips and salsa because we've like put
this in their mind.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Salsa is my anger.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Yeah, and then you'll be like maybe the remedies you
go eat that salsa. Be like, I'm hot right now,
so I'm gonna make myself eat hot, which I never
buy hot, by the way, I always buy mild or medium.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I like mild. I don't like spice.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I don't get people who really like spicy food. But
then you can't really even taste it because your mouth
is so hot.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, and then you keep eating just to get rid
of the hot. It keeps adding to the hot.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yes, I don't get that.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
I know that's your wedding. Yeah, I know, but sometimes
it's just really good.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's like almost a little bit of like self harmy.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Do you know you may not know this about me,
because I don't know if you ever listen to this
on the Bobby Bone Show. But that one time I
lost a bet and I had to take the hottest
shot in the world, and I almost died. You told
me this, Okay, I don't know if I ever.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Wasn't it like you to eat the pep?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
You do know it was a It was an alcoholic shot,
like I don't know if it was tequila or what
the actual alcohol was, but it was labeled the hottest
shot in the world, and we ordered it off the internet.
Who knows if it was safe or not. And none
of us were prepared for what was about to happen,
like and none of us throw up. I did not
go to the hospital. I thought I was going to
(06:25):
need to go to the hospital, but I did not
throw Oh I did throw up, But the problem was
when I started throwing up, it was coming out of
my throat and out of my nose, and so then
the then my face was burning. So it was like
a chemical peel on my face because it was coming
out of my mouth and my nose, and my eyes
were watering and I had goosebumps and chills.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like, what was the remedy for this time? You didn't
like drink milk.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
They had to go get milk. See, they didn't even
have that, so we weren't prepared. I wasn't either. I
just thought, Okay, I'm gonna take the shot and it's
gonna be hot and then we're gonna move on. Well,
I took the shot and then it hit me, and
what hit me was I might need to go to
the hospital. What I was feeling were things I have
never felt in my body before. And then I had goosebumps.
(07:09):
Then I was in the bathroom. Then my face was burning.
Then they finally brought me milk. I was chugging it,
pouring it all over my face, trying to get it
to calm down. Then I'm like on my like hands
and knees over a trash can and then I mean
I was out the rest of the show, like I
never Sully. But Bobby was like, yeah, I definitely thought
we were all going to get fired that day because
(07:30):
like I was gonna die, that would be bad. Worst
case scenario would be death. But he just thought we
were gonna be in some serious trouble because our boss
is gonna be like, what the heck, you can't do
stuff like that? Yeah, you put her in danger.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Get the day off the next day.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
No, I think I'm a champ, and I went back
to work. But anyway, I wasn't that level of angry.
At least we know that I wasn't hottest shot in
the world for a second.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
This is my question to that, Why are they making that?
Because that means nobody can drink that and enjoy it.
Who's buying and other than people who are pranking people,
which that should be illegal.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Well, it's not just a prank. It's also like I
want to take the hottest shot in the world. Like
I knew what I was doing. I wasn't mean, I
wasn't meaning pranked, but I guess what the people that
are idiots like us?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Okay, okay, that's who they're marketing to.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Feel like they have the hottest chip in the world
they have.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Like why, I just don't get that, like I'm novelty. Yeah,
but how much could be making off of that? How
many people are buying that?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I don't know I've met.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
They're out of business, you know who some of those
only fans people or supermodel people. I don't know who
they are, but they'll be like I put my breath
into a bottle and they sell it for money, or
they or they pass gas in a bottle and they
sell it, and they sell it you know, like yeah,
people are making money.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And the most like a little different than.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Well, I know. It just made me think of bottling
things up and selling it and making money, like if
we could, Like I feel like, like, are we missing
out an opportunity here?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Do you want to pass gas and a bottle and
start selling them in bulk? Is there a market for that?
Speaker 5 (09:04):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I don't want to think about that, Like that's why.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I mean, first, that's an easy one. I know. Yes,
are we missing out on an opportunity one hundred percent?
Because we could probably.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Or like air from wherever or my or my baths
like Sidney Sweeney just soap out of her bath water.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, why why don't we Well, I don't know anybody's
buying my bath water personally.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
But feeling things merch coming soon, people.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Are so excited and then it's like soap from our
like dirty bathwater, our dishes, oh dishes. It could have
to be because I don't I can't take a bath,
so I can't.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Sell my bath water.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I love a good bath.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I don't like sitting in dirty water, but.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I shower before you shower before you take a bath.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
But then you're sitting where you're dirty feet were. I
just don't like it. I've accepted that it's probably just
not for me.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
It's not your thing. Yeah, okay, Well back to the anger.
We went over the gift and I I just want
to remind people of the impairment if you don't feel it,
Because if I had woken up feeling angry and I
just sort of suppressed it and didn't journal through it
and then text a friend about it and get affirmation
that I'm a beautiful sunflower and the other for a
(10:15):
sense of weed. If you don't feel it, when you
suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there, and then
it can turn into resentment. It can turn into really
passive aggressive behavior, which we don't want to be that way.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
To think about the feeling that's energy. It's going to
find a way to come out one way or the other.
You might as well use it in a way that's
helpful for you.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
And it can get you feeling really down, and you
don't want to feel down, and then unfelt anger go
sideways real quick. It's sort of like that shot, you know,
and then.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
You're unfelt anger as much like a Carolina Reaper pepper shot.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yes, and you'll end up burns your nostrils in a
trash can and vomiting for face on fire. And that's
just really like, it's an unhealthy situation. And that's what
I'm like, you know what, and dealt with anger?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
What that does?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It turns pain, which sometimes feeling anger can be painful
into suffering suffering. There's a difference thing a man, you
were suffering, it sounds like.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah, and so like why suffer? Just go ahead and
feel the anger, lean into it. And that's what I did,
and I feel better now. It's so much so that
I really need to go back and see what I journaled. Yeah,
I want to interesting And what I realized too when
I looked at the dates of my journal I hadn't
journaled in a while, and I was like, whoa, I
need to get back into this because it did for me.
(11:41):
It felt good. And that's why it's always important to.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
The date with the dates.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
You know you're good at that, you're good at journaling,
which a lot, but I haven't been.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
But I like, what has life been good. Is it like,
do I only want to journal when things are a
little more confusing, because I I'd rather I also want
a journal on the good days.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, I was just.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Don't forget if anybody finds my journals when I die,
burn that.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
That's only if you're writing down all your affirmations.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
But what I wrote this morning, we need to burn
it twelve minutes of.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Well, speaking of feelings, I was feeling I had a
lot of anxiety, let's say, not anger, so fear, a
lot of stuff happening. And I saw this TikTok of
this girl who was making a necklace much like the
one that is hanging around your neck.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
That is a dude, Oh me.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
My original katvan Buren.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah, okay, yeah, can we get a zoom in on
the necklace?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Beautiful?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah? Okay, well just imagine. But I saw this TikTok
TikTok of this girl. We can't we can't get a
zoom in on this.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Oh, I mean it's like a zoom but.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I could I get closer to the camera. Well, I
saw this video of a girl who had made this necklace.
It's a doop of the anthro ones, which I think
they have a lot of places, but on anthropology they
sell them for a high sticker item.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Sticker price, sticker price sticker price.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Anyway, so I was feeling anxious, and one thing I
have learned is that for me, being creative is the
antithesis of anxiety. For me, I think for a lot
of people, it gets set energy out. Whis why I've
gone through the hobbies, including painting manicures. Actually, don't zoom
it on this one.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I broke an nail. What else have I recently?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Pottery, air dry and ceramic puzzles, puzzles. I almost got
into airbrush t shirts, but I didn't. So anyway, I
went and I got all the supplies to make these
and it I literally sat in my kitchen table from
probably nine am to three.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
It was obviously that you didn't have any clients, let's
hope no clients.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I did have things that needed to get done, right,
but I think my brain was so discombobulated that I
just needed an outlet to be able to just create something. Anyway,
So now I have these beautiful necklaces that I'm giving
away to everybody.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
You have lots, but I am requesting one of your
little teeny tiny beaded ones like this one's great and
I love it, but I really want a multicolored teeny
tiny one please.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
So you like that one, but you mildly like that one,
and you spicy hot salsa like the other one.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yeah, okay, Like everything we do now is like related
to salsa, which honestly does sound really good. Now, Like
I could really go for some like a trio.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Do you know what a trio? Three?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
The trio?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Okay? So salsa guak duh? Yeah, okay, sick, you know, sick.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
But I wanted to bring that up because I think
a lot of people who are I mean the world
right now in general, there's a lot of stuff going on,
and I can joke and laugh about how I start
new hop every other week, and at the same time
that is a coping skill for me that I've learned
really works, and then I get to give people things.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Okay, So creativity is the opposite of anxiety? Is creativity
the opposite of anger?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Well, if your anger brings you anxiety, it could help
with that. But you can do a lot of I mean,
journaling could be the opposite of that's creative.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I I mean, you're.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Trying to see if that could work for you.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I
need like to dive into some sort of hobby. Journaling
isn't Yeah, writing is creative, but me, just.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Like you, weren't doing creative writing writing.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Down every thought that's coming into my brain so that
I have like free flow, like like my pen didn't
really leave the pad, which I got that from. Speaking
of creativity, The Artist's Way, Yeah, that book where just
start writing pay doing your morning pages.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So if you were to what's that's a creative thing
that you've enjoyed?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, I need to you. A couple years ago, were
trying to paint.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Yeah, and I was a huge puzzler, huge I was
bird watching. But maybe I need to get into necklaces.
Like honestly, your little board that you have that measures
out with like the like that you got that on Amazon.
I went to hobby lobby and.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I like to see the stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Yeah, no, that's good because yeah, you never know when
you're ordering it. Yeah, okay, why helping people if they
want to figure out, like if they want to do
it as well.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
If you've got a hobby, send it in. Let us know,
create abby, Like, what's your creative hobby?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Not too expensive?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I think that's the other thing is I went to
hobby lobby and spent like sixty dollars and got enough
stuff to make fifty necklaces.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Yeah, like you have gifts for all your friends for
the next year.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Like this was three dollars, but this would be.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
A really special birthday present. Yeah, Like, I mean think
about it if with I know we're six months from Christmas,
but it's still a good Like what if this year
you did that, You went to hobby lobby and over
the next few months months you start making gifts for
the people in your life, and then boom, You've got
a homemade, really cute, special Christmas gift that looks like
(17:20):
it came from anthropology.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So if I'm using girl math correctly, I'm saving so
much money. Yes, because this is now the gift everybody
will receive it.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
If you gave me this for Christmas, I would.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Be like, Okay, this is I show. It just came
a little early Christmas. I let you open it early
Merry Christmas, Christmas? What is it they typically do Christmas
in July?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Can I have a back? I'll wrap it up.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
But I think this makes you think of my ADHD
which certain things I've really been working on is trying
to be more prepared and being on time, so we're
on time, on time, like to.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
A place or like because remember that one time I
gave you a birthday present, I think six months after
your birthday.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Yeah, it say cat language cards and stuff.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
That's okay, I don't know. I mean like on time
physically to play places, like work stuff on time check,
no problem. But like if my boyfriend and I are
going somewhere, like last week, we went to this writer's
round thing at this place that's in Franklin, Tennessee, which
is right outside of Nashville, so cute. It's called the
Red Wheel, and.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
That's out of town where you went on your vacation.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, where we went on vacation. So sometimes going on
vacation might be you know, driving fifteen minutes up the
road to a restaurant. But his dad was a part
of this opening night, And if you're in Franklin or
in Nashville, it's like a summer series thing that's happening,
so it'd have to be this this summer twenty twenty
five podcasts are weird. What if someone's listening to this
(18:48):
in twenty twenty seven, I'd be like, too late, Yes,
you missed it. Because some people I get emails from
people sometimes they're like, I just started listening to your podcast.
I went all the way back to the beginning.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I think that they know that they know. Yea, they know.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
We don't get the restclaimer that this was in the past, right,
it also had a different name. We've evolved, so it
was last week he was picking me up, and I'm
getting to where I'm noticing my brain is my little
things that I'm doing to try to work towards being
on time with ease are working because I'm just naturally
(19:22):
getting ready earlier. I'm doing things in an order that
make more sense, like I should go ahead and get
ready now and then work on x y Z instead
of working on x y Z, which then lead me
to getting ready and I'm rushing, and then he gets
here and I'm not ready, like genius, Well that is,
I guess that's how a normal, what a typical neurotypical
(19:43):
neurotypical brain may function that way, where they can organize
things in a way that makes the most sense, like
I'm more greasy with it, which ends up an issue.
So all this to say, I've been aware of it,
and it's kind of fun because I'm like, I am
going to be ready on time and this is so
great and I'm proud of myself and I am celebrating it.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Or were you late to that event? No?
Speaker 4 (20:08):
I was on time, That's my point. Like, and I
noticed what I did to set myself up for success
to be on time. Like when he showed up here
and I was ready to go, he was like, you're ready?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
What? And it was like.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Prepared to He's prepared to wait? Which ironically or coincidentally,
whichever word fits you pick At the Writer's Round, one
of the songwriters wrote that song Waiting on a Woman.
Now I can't sing what it is, but he's like,
wait not. I think Brad Paisley ended up singing it,
(20:45):
but this is the songwriter, wait, waiting on a Woman?
I can't You don't not familiar? Yes, I believe Brad
did record.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Is that ironic or coincidence?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
That's why I said both, And you pick.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Ironic it's ironic? Isn't it a coincidence? Ironic?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Is it's ray on your wedding day? Is that ironic
though it's a free ride when you've already paid.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
It's good advice that you.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Just didn't to take, and who would have thought it?
Figures it's I never knew the traffic jim when you're
already late.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
That's not ironic.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Oh, okay, we have When Varble and Don Samson wrote
this for Brad Paisley, and When and Dawn were both there,
so both of the songwriters are there and they sang
it and it was funny because my boyfriend are sitting
there and this is whole song about waiting on a woman.
But it takes you through a timeline where he's like
waiting to meet a woman, and then when he meets her,
(21:45):
he's waiting on her to always be ready. But then
he passes away first and he's in heaven waiting on
his woman. But he this is where he's fine waiting.
He'll find a bench because he doesn't want her to
leave her life on earth to come. So he's fine
with waiting because he got used to waiting on a woman.
But anyway, the fact that he sang that song on
(22:06):
an evening that my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Didn't have to wait on that's ironic. So then okay,
that's ironic.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Okay, yeah, so it's like then singing a song about
waiting on a woman on the night that your boyfriend
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
To wait on a woman, and if he did have
to wait on you, it would be a coincidence because
he didn't have to wait.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Then it's ironic.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
There, Okay, right, I don't Okay, now it's like too much.
But I use the Atlantis song a lot when I'm
trying to figure out ironic.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I like, but I don't think her stuff is really ironic. Well,
then why she put it in the song just because
she wanted to make a song. I feel like she's
so very she's smart, like she would make it work anyway.
I nudged him during that song and I was like,
you don't have to wait.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
On me today, you don't have to wait on me today,
and other things since then. I just maybe because I
(23:13):
celebrated it and I want to not break my streak.
I'm trying to stay the course and just get more
places with ease. And I don't know there's something about it,
because I don't know if it's just ADHD people or
other people may have this too, Like the whole time
blindness thing, but like there's things that just are difficult
(23:36):
for me, and that's sometimes organizing what order in which
I need to do things. Yeah, so here we are.
I have a list of borderline impossible things for ADHD brains,
so I thought we could go over it because that'd
be like, that's one of them.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah. And I think also even if you don't have ADHD,
this is helpful because sometimes when people hear this, they're like, wait,
that's hard for you. So it helps you have a
little bit or compassion and empathy for somebody who's struggling
to do something that seems kind of like a mundane task.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, because it's not like we're trying to do it
on purpose. But I do have awareness of it. And
so that's where it's tricky, which you've said before, sort
of like therapy is.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
The awareness is the booby trap of therapy. Yeah, the
booby trap.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
It's all a booby trap because then what you're aware,
it's like, Okay, well I can continue to live life
this way, or I can try to do something about it. Yeah,
which I'm I'm personally not medicated, but for other people
they may want to medicate. But I do neuro feedback,
which has been helping my brain. I go on and
off with that, and I've even bounced around to a
couple of different places and I try to figure out
(24:41):
what works for me, and I started taking well, I
do like lions Maine and my coffee and some other
mushrooms like cordyceps. Okay, like not harooms type shrew me
type things, more of the adaptogens. Okay, let me know. Okay,
if this resonates for your ADHD rain car maintenance, yes, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I just can't change my oil so much.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
So well, like physically you mean, just go get it changed,
or you you can't actually change it yourself because of both, Well,
but I don't want to change it myself.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Well, I'm both.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I have such a hard time when I get a
little bit panics when I see the car engine light
so much so. I think I've told the story on
the podcast where I waited too long and my car
broke down in the middle of a very busy intersection.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
I had to get my car towed, no oil left.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Interesting though, but I think this is because I have
ADHD with like not really a lot of anxiety. I
think you have ADHD with a lot of a lot
of anxiety. Like when we travel together, you want to
get to the airport two hours early. I want to
get there twenty minutes before boarding, like especially if I'm
not checking a bag and I have TSSA free and
(25:56):
you you like freak out over that, but like it's
a owt you do.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
I react normally to somebody, Okay.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Now you're like hyper ventilating.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Okay, but you lived too much on the edge, Like
why would you put yourself in that situation? And remember
when we were in New York, literally our flight was
leaving in an hour and we hadn't even left the apartment,
and I was trying to be so cool, and I
think in the it was finally the uber that.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I was like, I'm god of freaking out over here, like.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Shaky, yeah, because why would you not just get there
early so you could make sure.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I know, but that's part of my growth. And now
I will meet you halfway. And I think knew me
the last week or so would be able to get
to the airport early, because why wouldn't I want to
do that with ease. But my point back to the
check engine light or something in the car, is like
you get nervous with it, like I'm like, ugh, who cares,
there's a light on? Like we'll figure that out later.
(26:50):
But it just seems a little overwhell. It's like I
don't want to deal with it, so I just I'm like, Okay,
i'll do it later today. And then that turns into
later tomorrow, which turns into.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You to minimize it, where I'm just like I avoid it.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Yeah, I minimize avoid it, and you anxiously avoid it
or something.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
It's different though, like his energy is different, but same,
different but the same. What about returning things, because like
I often.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know that I hadn't returned things from Amazon for
about like five years. It was a recent thing that
I realized how easy it was to return things from Amazon.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Wait, you returned something to the Amazon?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, I didn't. I have.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I used to have a box in my closet with
things that needed to be returned that I didn't return.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
It was like a joke from all my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
They're like, you'll never return this if you buy it
off of Amazon, and I didn't.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I didn't realize it was so easy. Okay, it felt
like a lot.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
So I guess what I'm asking for Cody on is
did you decide to return things from five years ago
or you just started returning?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I just started. I think I gave most of that
stuff to Goodwill. I think I sold some of it
on Facebook marketplace.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Good for you. Yeah, I think just returning stuff, like
especially from impulse purchases, can be very returning your aff
to them all. Yeah. Like I bought a new collared
workout shirt from Target for pickleball. I needed a caller
shirt for where I was playing, and it was way
too tight. And I keep saying, I'm gonna go to Target,
I'm gonna go to Target. I'm gonna do Target, and
(28:21):
guess what, I still have it and it's too tight,
Like I'm not gonna be able to wear it, and
I don't. I don't think I'll miss a window. But oftentimes,
depending on where you got it from, you miss the
window and then we accept defeat. Getting gas before the
tank is empty.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Okay, this is interesting again. If my gas light is on,
I get anxious, Like there's some people that drive their
car till zero.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Could never be me.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
See, that's weird. That is total me. So have you
ever run out of gas? I haven't in forever. No,
I always to make it. But my car says now
it goes from to like towards empty, and then it'll
say please refuse like a little written note. And then
when it gets to the note changes from please refuel
to refuel immediately.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
That's when you do it. I do it.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
But you didn't answer my question. Have you ever run
out of gas? Yes, okay, you've got to avoid it.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
But it's been a long time. I just know I
said it's been a long time.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
That's then but no, so no or something like that.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Okay, well, that's just filler words. I realize sometimes I
say butt and it doesn't even make sense, Like if
I hear myself back and I'll be talking, like even
during some of our episodes, like if I have to
listen to something and I hear it back, I'm like,
why did I just say butt?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Right there?
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I say, so, that was probably me just saying but
but anyway, but so but but but is a filler
word for me.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Okay, so you haven't have gas, but now your car
helps you. But here's the here's the thing. What if
refill immediately happens while you're not close to a gas station.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
I get yeah, I get that. I'm trying to be
better at it. I mean, my son, he freaks out
about the gas tank. And even last night we were
driving and he was like, how much guess do you have?
And I said I have half a tank and he
was like, dad fills up around half a tank. And
I was like, isn't that nice? Isn't your dad so prepared?
I mean, a lot of the tank a wild well,
(30:15):
a lot of people won't. They'll go between half a
quarter of a tank and they are definitely getting gas.
I have never been that way.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
You know, what I really feel like a win is
is when you fill up your gas. Like if I
have to fill up my tank out, I be like,
I'm gonna do it in the morning. When you actually
do it for your morning self so and then you're
not rushed to work.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
That feels like I climbed a mountain. M h. I
feel so proud of myself.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
I got gas the other day and I got so
bored doing it. I didn't fill all the way up.
I think I got to half a tank.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
You're like, this place is lame. I'm out of here,
I know.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
I was like, why I drove off and it only
was it half a tank, and I was like, why
am I this way?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
All of those people go and fill up that half.
You only filled up because.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I was over it. And I was like, what what
is wrong with me? Because now I'm gonna have to
come back even sooner and you're to come do this again.
It's stupid, Like I do not be like me.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Stati didn't have good vibes.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I don't know, just don't be like me. Although I
am a working Morgan progress maybe I'll maybe with just
like now I'm gonna be ready when my boyfriend's coming
to pick me up. I'm gonna turn over a new
leaf and like start filling up it three quarters of
a tank.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Imagine that too much? Then you're doing it like every other.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Day, okay, okay, grocery shopping with a plan. I always
have like a list in my head and I'm like, okay, yeah,
I'm pretty sure I have basil, but we're definitely out
of paprika, and so I'll buy paprika and not get basil,
and then I'll get home and I have the opposite.
It's like literally the opposite, or like you know, when
(32:01):
you're doing something and you have to like tell it
to yourself. Like I was making cupcakes the other day
and I was like, third a cup of oil, third
a couple of Oh.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
My god, third a cup of oil.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
And then I go and I'm like, third a cup
of oil, and I know it's a third a couple
of oil, but I have to check the box a
million times. But then of course I don't check the
box for the full instructions because it's like mix all
the wet and then add it to the dry, but
I just throw it all in at the same time.
And I was like, why did they want me to
do like separate.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Overly check this one thing?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
But then you totally disregard Yes, exactly speaking, I literally
have to read the recipe seventeen times, but like you
know that you know, but then at the same time
you're like, did I make that up? Or like did
I am? I seeing it backwards? Like is it correct?
What would it be?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Like I always wanted to have a photographic memory.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Oh my gosh, amazing, we would rule the world, the world.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
The world would be so induvsive, Oh my gosh, people
would be in all of us.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Instead, I'm like digging the box out of the trash
because I threw it away thinking I remember exactly what
I need, and I'm like, okay, better go get those
instructions out of the trash can again, and then I'm
reading them and I'm like, why am I this way?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Literally like three eggs? Three eggs? Three eggs? Like I
got it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
You throw it away and then you're like how many eggs?
I think it was three, but like I can't be
so sure. It might be two, but like that would
be creazy.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
And then did I put three? Ten? Thank god, there's
three little yellow things floating in there are I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Know the amount of times I'm like did I put
the baking soda in?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Or did I not put it in?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Like I'm not sure, and so I try to go
in an order of the ingredients, but sometimes you get
ahead of yourself.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Did I take my medication or did I not? Should
I double up or go out more harmful to like
not take it or have too much?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
And then I told myself so many times, just get
one of those pill boxes.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Then you'll always know if you've taken it or not.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do that, and then
I'll like say I'll do it later, and then later
it never comes, and then I tell myself I'm gonna
do it.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
You know what, I think that pill boxes are like
journals for ADHD people. You know how a lot of
HD ADHD people have lots of journals. Yeah, like I
need a new journal. I need a new planner for this,
I need a new I have so many different pill
box type containers. Yeah, because I have one.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah, okay, because I've never bought one.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Oh really, I keep telling myself I'm gonna buy one,
so then I don't forget if I'm taking my medication
or not, or my vitamins or anything, and then I.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I never do it. Come up to my Amazon shop
in my bathroom. Why didn't you return them because I
wanted hard? No, you just wanted I wanted them all,
just like I want all my journals. Did you see
that super cute journal?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Your emotional support pill boxes? That's why I have so
many water bottles.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, I'm not that way with water bottles, just because
I don't really like drinking water, But so you.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Should get water bottles. Maybe that's what I'll get you
for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Yeah, do you see the super cute journal? I head
out there at the five minute journal with flowers. It's
really cute. Yeah, it makes me want us to make
a journal one day. Maybe we will for Christmas, maybe
we will TBD so grocery shopping with a plan that's
hard for people, day AHD filling out any paperwork when I'm.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Talking about this, but the paperwork because I need to
change my name. But I'm like, it sounds like so
much work.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I think I'm getting to the point where maybe I
could do it, like I have to adult and do it,
but I also have help at times. Shandon's in the room,
so I feel like I need to acknowledge it. And
she definitely helps make a lot of my paperwork, so
I feel like she's like, I know how you get
it done.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
You're like, I don't have a problem with that, And.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
I'm actually pulled out everything. My kids are doing great,
medical school forms, insurance.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
I just got an urgent message that if I didn't
feel something now, something would beat.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
I didn't just text it on our you don't have
to give me credit ever, haha.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Okay. But also for her to be like, oh, it's
no problem for me.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
I know I can't act like that, like I know that.
I know that that's and I also see that as
like a gift, and I also know that I can't
always rely on that, Like I need to have agency
over my life and I need to do things.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
That's you saying, Okay, this is hard for me. I
need help in this area.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
So you ask me, and I'm to a place where
in my life I have been able to have that.
I didn't always have that, and I justly didn't do
things like paperwork. It's like, Oh, I finally, how did
you know you've made it well? Making appointments? Oh my gosh.
I've been trying to make myself be in charge of
(36:23):
this part of my life of like calling and doing things.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
And are you calling or are you doing it online? That's
a game changer.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
I'm texting or calling.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
If I have to call to make an appointment, probably
not gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I guess it's mostly by text.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
If I can do it online, I think I'm good.
But if I there's some places you go online, you
send a message and then they call you to make the appointment,
I'm out.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Yeah. Yeah, especially if you call me back at a
time where I don't know. I'm in that mode. Where
I can't. Like, there's some things where I can like
check on my text messages and I'm like good. And
there's other times texts come in and I'm like, I
don't know what to do. I'm just not even gonna
open it. And it's like if someone that I want
to hear from and that I really enjoy and I
like them, but I'm like, I don't know. I physically
I cannot open this text right now, and I'm like,
what the what the what the what the what the
(37:11):
It's so stupid. I don't like being this way mailing stuff. Yeah,
birthday cars, that's why Kat becoming one of my nearest
Sindira's closest friends ever. And you're having ADHD. It's like
I finally met someone that I've never felt more seen
and the same with on.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Which is just because I forget your birthday.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Yeah, because but you also know what it feels like.
It feels horrible, like as the person that just.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Goes on it's so sweet. I'm like, I only know
that you're saying this. It's because I've gotten your birthday
wrong every time.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Yeah, it's like I met my match and your birthday.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Is still on the wrong day in my calendar right now, Yeah,
that's myself I was going to change.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
I think it's also more fun too that like every year,
I'm going to look forward to seeing if it's you
know that you get my birthday right, But I have
empathy for people if they get it, like, of course
do I want my birthday to be celebrated, like we
all we do want to be remembered, and it feels good.
And also if someone were to forget and be like,
(38:10):
oh shoot, I am like, you know what been there?
It's okay because I know when I've done that, it
wasn't on purpose. However, one of the things that I
did have to implement was a calendar and I have
to utilize that more and I have it written down
and I have the reminders and then you know, if
you text someone. The thing is, it's tricky on an iPhone.
If you text someone on the wrong day their birthday,
(38:32):
iPhone will be like is this this person's birthday? And
then they want to save it for you is that day?
So if you think that that's it and you click
save that it'll save it for you.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I mean, then you're screwed. Manually put your birthday in
the wrong day.
Speaker 4 (38:44):
Okay, it's okay, I forgive you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
But that is nice that there's not pressure because if
you forget something or something like that happens, there's not
pressure for you to do everything perfectly because I'm like, oh, same.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Yeah, but we don't just it's not like you do.
You're not just gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna keep
living this way although every year, but you show up
in other ways, like really awesome other ways, Like I
think everyone has their gifts and strengths, and I just think.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Well, I'm always earlier on your birthday, so it's not
like I forget your birthday.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Yeah, so just.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Gifts and strength, thank you.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Thank you, so returns, birthday cars, important documents, mailing stuff,
getting them into an actual mailbox. It feels harder than
you would think, harder than it should, quite honestly. And
then canceling subscriptions we don't use, like.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
That one is geared towards you. Yeah, how's your face? Fitness?
Oh I cancel, canceled, cancel.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I haven't even been doing it.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
You're not even doing exercises.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
I mean sometimes I open up my limps, but.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Occasionally I'm like.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
See, maybe that's like your hyperfixation is like I hyper
fixate on all these different hobbies. You hyper fixate on
all these different like things, like.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Really fitness as a hobby. It was, it was very
time continued.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
It's not a hobby. Why what do you do for fun?
Speaker 4 (40:08):
I was yearning about Posta and the this muscle, I was,
it's anatomy. It's not a hobby. I'm sorry Faceditness is
not a hobby. It is jumping on a mini tramplate.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
If you like to tramp.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
I love to walk with my weight to best.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
That's a hobby.
Speaker 6 (40:27):
Is walking standing on my vibrating plate? Is that a hobby?
Is walking standing on my vibrating clate?
Speaker 4 (40:45):
What is that a hobby? What my vibrating clate? You
know the plates that you stand on. Wait, you don't
know about a vibrating plate. First of all, what a
vibrating fight. It's like a ron thing.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
And why you never told me about that? Hiding this
from me?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
You stand on it and it's shaking your whole body,
it's opening up your lengths.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I've never heard of this. It reminds me of my
great grandma had this exercise machine. No, it was like
a little wooden square on a swivel, and you stood
on it and you went like this. It's called the
twisty turvy. And that was how they worked out. Is
they just stood on their twisty turfy. Oh they did this.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Your gret grandma didn't have.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
One of those. I saw My grandma did not. She
bold and sat in her recliner smoked cigarettes. Okay, was
her activity. I took this from my great grandma's house.
I'm pretty sure when she passed away, and I think
my mom still has it. If you would like to
borrow it.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
That could be a hobby. I twist.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Yeah. I guess my hobbies maybe different than here.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I'm not trying to hate on your hobbies. I don't
think that's a hobby. I think that's just something that.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
You do spend time doing.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, the hobby to like, what's the definition of an
interest that brings you like joy and that you I mean,
I guess that would fit.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Okay, I'll give you that. The vibrating plate isn't a hobby,
but face fitness might be.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Okay, And you know, I shouldn't have reacted that way
because if that really is.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
What if I was like, what's your hobby? Skincare.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
I just like, how much time can you spend?
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Skincare is not but like face fitness would fall like,
but some people might be really into like testing out
different types of skincare and figuring out what works for
them and then telling their friends and make up a
hobby like you're how to do your eyes a fun
way or makeup?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, you're right, I'm being a little judge. So if
you have facebitness to be your hobby.
Speaker 4 (42:40):
That, well it's not anymore. I quit.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Okay, So what's your next hobby going to be? Can't
be vibrating plate. Let's see, I really love cleaning.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
I love it. I've been really getting if I've been
on my laundry gain like you would not.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Believe, like laundry is your new hobby.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Well, I've always loved laundry, but I am at peak
laundry level where I rarely have.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Anything to do.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
A dirty item come to my house, no like, and
I'm I'm trying to make sure my kids are on it.
And I'm like, if we've got laundry, we're getting done now.
It's it probably doesn't make sense water wise. Are you
like doing special things with the laundry? Or you just
like like to no, I'm just like on it. It's
like if if it's if it's in the wash and
it's in the dryer, and then I'm gonna put it away. Okay,
(43:31):
Like I'm I'm not doing this thing where I have
piles everywhere because I part of my ADHD at times
is to create piles. And now I still have certain piles,
but my laundry is good. I'm pretty sure I have
a load in the dryer right now, and when we
get done, I'm gonna go put it away. And I'm
gonna put it away.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Okay. Well, i have a doffe and I'm.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Not even going on vacation for like two more weeks,
and I've already started organizing on a rack what I'm
gonna pack? Who am I?
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Okay, but that's not a hobby.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
Well, but this is just norly I'm packing last minute.
But I'm telling you, like, I don't know if it's
my neural feedback or if it's just like my awareness
and I'm trying to be more intentional.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Are you excited about your vacation? Maybe can I tell
you the definition of hobby? This might help us narrow
down what your next hobby is going to be an
activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. Hobbies
are not pursued with intention of making a profit. So
that's why I'm not selling my jewelry. I'm just giving
(44:33):
it away, right. However, is this done in your leisure
time for pleasure? Is is laundry done in your leisure
time for pleasure? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:43):
I mean like I was like, and if that is
satisfying to you.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
It was satisfying.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Put it away. You have a certain like detergent that
you love.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
That's unscented, freeing clear because my dermatologists, I had that rash. Remember, Yeah,
I'm brad that rash. I can't even use scented detergent.
I can't even use fabric softener anymore. I use vinegar,
and I can't even use dryer sheets. I use wool
balls and I put a drop of vanilla essential oil
(45:13):
on the balls.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Does it work yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Okay, but it's it's taken me a minute to get
used to and then the balls they get lost.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Okay. So are you satisfied with your hobby life?
Speaker 4 (45:25):
No?
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Okay, So let's we'll brainstorm a something for you to try.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
Okay, i'd be. I want our listeners to email us
their hobbies. Oh yeah, okay, great ideas like I'd like
to horseback ride, but it's expensive hobby. Well, it's harder
than you would think. I've been trying to find a
place for my kids to go because they did equine
therapy and I thought, oh, they would really enjoy doing that,
and it's hard to track down a place with a
(45:49):
horse to go ride. So you're right, it's not easy.
But I think if we could figure it out, I
would want to ride horses, but not like competitively, just therapeutically.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Have you seen those hobby horse things from Denay?
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
No, but no, maybe day.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
Hey she's got this character is Judy hobby horsing?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Judy does she jump around on a horse on a stick? Yes? Okay,
that's a thing they have.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I don't know what you're talking about, but hobby horsing
is a real hobby that people now do, and it's
they have like horse competitions.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
But you're just running around on the horse stick.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Okay, that's not me.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
I'm not doing that. That would be easier than going
to find a horse. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Okay, So send in a hobby, so then you can
pick one that you're definitely going to do.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
Yeah, y'all can email us your hobbies. Hey, they're at
Feeling Things podcast dot com. And speaking of emails, we
have an email at the day. This is just a
very simple direct question that I thought we could address
because you know, other people might be in this situation.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Maybe not.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
It's kind of unique, but she said, Hey, hoping y'all
can help a girl out recently matched with a man
on a dating app. The thing is, we both have
kids in a mutual activity and have never spoken. So
I've been talking to him but he doesn't seem to
recognize me in real life. Do I tell him or
play dumb until we hopefully have a date? Thank you,
(47:16):
smiley face.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Okay, So I'm curious what you would do. So this
is somebody who mets him in a dating app. It
sounds like her child is maybe on like the same
soccer team as this person's child.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
What would you do?
Speaker 4 (47:30):
Well, I'm like, why hasn't he put two and two together?
I would be like, do my pictures look like me?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Or maybe it's just that, like there is a bigger
thing than a soccer team, Like, let's say they both
go to the same gym, like gymnastics gym, that could
be therebe hundreds of people there, So.
Speaker 4 (47:49):
I guess I would probably say something in the app
if we've been messaging, I'd be like, hey, do you
have a kid that plays soccer?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Sports?
Speaker 4 (47:59):
Basketball? And then I mean.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Like, I think that's an easy point of conversation and opener, right.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Like, hey, random, but I think it's weird. We've been
chatting on here and you definitely saw me at the
basketball game this weekend and didn't say anything.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
That's awkward to me.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Okay, so what's she supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (48:17):
That's what No. I'm saying, like, it's awkward to then
see them and act like you don't know them.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
You know, I'm glad we read this because I think
this can bring a lot of something that's bringing her anxiety.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
I don't think it's that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
I think you'd say, hey, I think our kids are
on the same rowing team or something like that, or
go to the same.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
Art class, or now I think our kids are the
same hobby horse club. Are you at hobby horse thing
the other day?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (48:48):
But I don't.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
I mean, I guess don't play dumb, although don't remember
remember my boyfriend he had seen me. This is a
little bit different, but it's like, why didn't you say
that you had ever met me before? Because because I
didn't recognize him, But he met me at Whole Foods,
like over a year before we ever went out, and
on our first date, he never brought that up, and
(49:10):
I didn't recognize him. I didn't remember meeting him at
Whole Foods, so I brought up like it's weird, Like
he didn't tell me till the second day, and then
I'm like, wait a second, well, okay, now I remember
us meeting at Whole Foods. Why didn't you say that
on the first date. And this is one of the
things like he's heard on the podcast that he's like,
I need to clarify some stuff and stand up for
(49:32):
myself because on our first date, if I had said
that to you, you might have been like, what, No,
this is weird.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
Would you have thought it was weird? Maybe? Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:42):
But then by the second date, I was already liking him.
So he's like I waited till I knew like, okay,
I think she's into me, so safe I better.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Tell you now. So it doesn't feel like he's like
a stalker.
Speaker 4 (49:54):
Yes, okay, because he came up to me like yeah,
because what he said to me at Whole Foods is like, hey,
my kids and I listen every day. You'll do great
job with the show. Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (50:02):
Well, then if we're out on our first date and
then he brings that up, I'd be like, oh.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, I think your situation is a little different, just
because it could come off that way. This is like, yeah,
it's just bring it up because he either doesn't know
or he doesn't know what to do either. Yeah. What
if he's thinking the same thing and he's like, I'm
glad you said something. I didn't know if I should
say something or not.
Speaker 4 (50:22):
Okay, So so that answers that. Yeah, so say something,
say it in the app.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
And if he thinks that's so weird that he's like, oh,
I'm never speaking to you again, he's weird, Like, that's
not a reason to not reply, right, Like you've dodged
a bullet.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
If that's the case, screw him, kidding, not yet, No,
not like that, like that okay, and we'll wrap with
a we did an email the date, so we'll do
a voicemail of the day. This is from Shannon in Colorado.
(50:57):
She is talking about it Talks episode from a while
back where one of our listeners had had a supervisor
say that she shouldn't do a certain part of her
job because she's a woman, and this is her thoughts
on that, because this has happened to her as well.
Here is the voicemail.
Speaker 5 (51:19):
Hi, Amy and Kat. My name is Shannon. I am
from Colorado and I was just listening to the podcast
in regards to the young lady who had a supervisor
saying things about her and that she should not be
doing work because she's a woman. I have had this
situation happen as well, and I think I have come
out of it by just asking the gentleman, so can
(51:43):
you please elaborate on that and explain to me what
part of my job you feel like I can do.
So then that maybe he is thinking that your job
consists of something else, or again, maybe he was joking,
or maybe you know, if to assume what men's brains
are thinking, and so I like it better just to
(52:07):
come out and say, can you explain what you mean
by that? And then that leaves it all in on
their plate to explain how they were thinking or what
their process was during that time. Thanks have a great week, So.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
That is from Shannon, and I like that. Just that
can apply to if a man is saying that about
you being a woman, or just any time you need
clarity around something, to just pause and ask that simple
question like.
Speaker 3 (52:37):
Could you elaborate?
Speaker 4 (52:38):
Elaborate? Can you further explain what you mean by X,
y Z whatever they asked you? And then yes, it's
the balls in their court and they have an opportunity
to explain themselves.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
I like her curiosity how she was like, it's really
hard to assume what men's brains are thinking, so she
really is asking versus making assumptions.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (53:01):
Love that advice. Thank you Shannon, and y'all can call
and leave us voicemails anytime. Eight seven seven, two oh seven,
two oh seven seven, So voicemails, emails. We're attainable, reachable.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Reachable, We're attainable. I guess we're both. Is that ironic
or a coincidence?
Speaker 3 (53:21):
You pick?
Speaker 4 (53:23):
Okay, we have you had the day that you need
to have? Follow us on Instagram Feeling Things podcast, right, Yeah,
a fir change shit at Feeling Things podcast. Yes, yeah,
it just felt weird. You know sometimes when you say
something and it feels weird.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (53:40):
At Feeling Things podcast, Also on YouTube and TikTok. We're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (53:44):
See a Facebook. Oh Facebook too. Wow, Look at us,
Look at us all grown up?
Speaker 4 (53:50):
Okay, bye bye
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts ay
and Cat got your cob and locking a brother Lady's
and felts do you just follow in the spirit where
it's all the front over real stuff to the chill
stuff and the.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Stop you feel things. This is feeling things with Amy
and Cat.
Speaker 4 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy, I'm Cat
and out of the gate. We got the feeling of
the day. Yeah, and I'm smiling as I say this
feels weird. The feeling of the day, which I've sort
of gotten over, is anger, because you're I woke up angry.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Yeah, okay, what kind of anger?
Speaker 4 (00:49):
I don't know what? Like are there different types of anger?
I mean, I guess I know that there's different feelings
involved in that, but like anger is the one I'm
touching on. Like it's like a spectrum, Like, yeah, what
level of anger? Okay, let's do it like salsa? Like
am I mild salsa? Or am I medium?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
I'm hot? Okay?
Speaker 4 (01:08):
It's like what would mild be.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Like frustrated, annoyed?
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Okay, Yeah, I'm not so, I'm for sure mild.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Okay, what's medium? Mad, upset, pissed off?
Speaker 4 (01:21):
Oh I don't like the feet word. You don't like
that now, so that's fine, we'll roll with it. I'm
definitely medium Okay, so so far Okay, now hot hot salsa.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
That would be like enraged or I mean, there could
be a little actual rage in there.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I don't feel like I'm raging furious. I'm furious. I'm
like so frustrated and makes me furious. I'm perplexed. You know,
we're just like feeling I'm confused and that leads to anger,
Like I'm just frustrated?
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Am I?
Speaker 4 (01:52):
All of these salas A my mild medium hot, which
would mean I'm hot?
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, well you you're you have a you have a
mild feeling, but to the hot level.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
So it's like like.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
On the spectrum of frustrated euro up here. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
I just woke up with this. I couldn't shake it.
So I busted out a coping tool, which would be journaling,
and I journaled for twelve minutes.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Did you time it?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (02:21):
Because I started journaling it and then twelve minutes later
I was done.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I don't know if you said a timer for twelve.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
I didn't actually set a timer, but like the clock,
I knew what time was when I started, and I
was like, oh wow, I just wrote for twelve straight minutes.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Were you like scribbling?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
I tried to write as fast as possible because that's
just very That's what's therapeutic for me, especially if I'm
dumping things out and I just like let it flow.
Like whatever was coming to my brain, I wrote it.
It'd be actually be interesting now that I've gone the
day and I'm a little more calm if I read
what I wrote this morning, because I know that I
was dumping a lot within that twelve minutes. I know
(02:56):
that there's things I wrote down I wouldn't recognize.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Now, Wow, you don't think.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
I think that there's sentences where I'd be like, huh,
I read that. Yeah, I think that was very helpful
for me. It helped me like lay out my thoughts
and continue on with my morning with ease, because I
didn't like waking up with that feeling. And then I
sent you a text after at some point in the morning.
(03:24):
I know that I texted you and you replied with this,
You can do this. They suck. That's how I read it.
You can do it. Is that a movie quote?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, isn't that from water Boy?
Speaker 6 (03:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Okay, so that's how I read it.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You can do this.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
You can do this. They suck. You're a beautiful sunflower
and they're an ugly weed that thinks they're a flower,
but really they just kill everything around them. And I
was like, oh my gosh, that's true.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
It was helpful.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
It was helpful because it just helps me understand the
boundary I need, which is the gift of anger. So
which when we started this podcast, we started with all
the coreat feelings, and we know that one of the
gifts of anger is perspective. It's information, and it helps
us know where we need to have some boundaries and
(04:25):
what we need to do. And so I was like,
not mistake.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And I think because anger is a justice emotion and
it shows us like how to care for ourselves well
and care for others well, it could be helpful to
feel that because that means that you care about yourself.
You're like this, I deserve to be treated better depending
on the situation.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
My inner alarm was going off, like saying hot, hot,
seek get the gualk chips, some more chips. Like that's
how I feel like randomly have a salsa analogy to
gauge our anger. Yeah, which I love now that. Yes, listeners,
(05:05):
next time they're either eating salsa, they're gonna think, am
I angry about anything? Or next time they're angry, they're
gonna start craving chips and salsa because we've like put
this in their mind.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Salsa is my anger.
Speaker 4 (05:17):
Yeah, and then you'll be like maybe the remedies you
go eat that salsa. Be like, I'm hot right now,
so I'm gonna make myself eat hot, which I never
buy hot, by the way, I always buy mild or medium.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I like mild. I don't like spice.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I don't get people who really like spicy food. But
then you can't really even taste it because your mouth
is so hot.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, and then you keep eating just to get rid
of the hot. It keeps adding to the hot.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Yes, I don't get that.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
I know that's your wedding. Yeah, I know, but sometimes
it's just really good.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's like almost a little bit of like self harmy.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Do you know you may not know this about me,
because I don't know if you ever listen to this
on the Bobby Bone Show. But that one time I
lost a bet and I had to take the hottest
shot in the world, and I almost died. You told
me this, Okay, I don't know if I ever.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Wasn't it like you to eat the pep?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
You do know it was a It was an alcoholic shot,
like I don't know if it was tequila or what
the actual alcohol was, but it was labeled the hottest
shot in the world, and we ordered it off the internet.
Who knows if it was safe or not. And none
of us were prepared for what was about to happen,
like and none of us throw up. I did not
go to the hospital. I thought I was going to
(06:25):
need to go to the hospital, but I did not
throw Oh I did throw up, But the problem was
when I started throwing up, it was coming out of
my throat and out of my nose, and so then
the then my face was burning. So it was like
a chemical peel on my face because it was coming
out of my mouth and my nose, and my eyes
were watering and I had goosebumps and chills.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Like, what was the remedy for this time? You didn't
like drink milk.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
They had to go get milk. See, they didn't even
have that, so we weren't prepared. I wasn't either. I
just thought, Okay, I'm gonna take the shot and it's
gonna be hot and then we're gonna move on. Well,
I took the shot and then it hit me, and
what hit me was I might need to go to
the hospital. What I was feeling were things I have
never felt in my body before. And then I had goosebumps.
(07:09):
Then I was in the bathroom. Then my face was burning.
Then they finally brought me milk. I was chugging it,
pouring it all over my face, trying to get it
to calm down. Then I'm like on my like hands
and knees over a trash can and then I mean
I was out the rest of the show, like I
never Sully. But Bobby was like, yeah, I definitely thought
we were all going to get fired that day because
(07:30):
like I was gonna die, that would be bad. Worst
case scenario would be death. But he just thought we
were gonna be in some serious trouble because our boss
is gonna be like, what the heck, you can't do
stuff like that? Yeah, you put her in danger.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
Get the day off the next day.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
No, I think I'm a champ, and I went back
to work. But anyway, I wasn't that level of angry.
At least we know that I wasn't hottest shot in
the world for a second.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
This is my question to that, Why are they making that?
Because that means nobody can drink that and enjoy it.
Who's buying and other than people who are pranking people,
which that should be illegal.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
Well, it's not just a prank. It's also like I
want to take the hottest shot in the world. Like
I knew what I was doing. I wasn't mean, I
wasn't meaning pranked, but I guess what the people that
are idiots like us?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Okay, okay, that's who they're marketing to.
Speaker 4 (08:17):
Feel like they have the hottest chip in the world
they have.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Like why, I just don't get that, like I'm novelty. Yeah,
but how much could be making off of that? How
many people are buying that?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I don't know I've met.
Speaker 4 (08:28):
They're out of business, you know who some of those
only fans people or supermodel people. I don't know who
they are, but they'll be like I put my breath
into a bottle and they sell it for money, or
they or they pass gas in a bottle and they
sell it, and they sell it you know, like yeah,
people are making money.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
And the most like a little different than.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Well, I know. It just made me think of bottling
things up and selling it and making money, like if
we could, Like I feel like, like, are we missing
out an opportunity here?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Do you want to pass gas and a bottle and
start selling them in bulk? Is there a market for that?
Speaker 5 (09:04):
No?
Speaker 4 (09:04):
I don't want to think about that, Like that's why.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I mean, first, that's an easy one. I know. Yes,
are we missing out on an opportunity one hundred percent?
Because we could probably.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Or like air from wherever or my or my baths
like Sidney Sweeney just soap out of her bath water.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah, why why don't we Well, I don't know anybody's
buying my bath water personally.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
But feeling things merch coming soon, people.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Are so excited and then it's like soap from our
like dirty bathwater, our dishes, oh dishes. It could have
to be because I don't I can't take a bath,
so I can't.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Sell my bath water.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I love a good bath.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
I don't like sitting in dirty water, but.
Speaker 4 (09:45):
I shower before you shower before you take a bath.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
But then you're sitting where you're dirty feet were. I
just don't like it. I've accepted that it's probably just
not for me.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
It's not your thing. Yeah, okay, Well back to the anger.
We went over the gift and I I just want
to remind people of the impairment if you don't feel it,
Because if I had woken up feeling angry and I
just sort of suppressed it and didn't journal through it
and then text a friend about it and get affirmation
that I'm a beautiful sunflower and the other for a
(10:15):
sense of weed. If you don't feel it, when you
suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there, and then
it can turn into resentment. It can turn into really
passive aggressive behavior, which we don't want to be that way.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
To think about the feeling that's energy. It's going to
find a way to come out one way or the other.
You might as well use it in a way that's
helpful for you.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
And it can get you feeling really down, and you
don't want to feel down, and then unfelt anger go
sideways real quick. It's sort of like that shot, you know,
and then.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
You're unfelt anger as much like a Carolina Reaper pepper shot.
Speaker 4 (10:55):
Yes, and you'll end up burns your nostrils in a
trash can and vomiting for face on fire. And that's
just really like, it's an unhealthy situation. And that's what
I'm like, you know what, and dealt with anger?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
What that does?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
It turns pain, which sometimes feeling anger can be painful
into suffering suffering. There's a difference thing a man, you
were suffering, it sounds like.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
Yeah, and so like why suffer? Just go ahead and
feel the anger, lean into it. And that's what I did,
and I feel better now. It's so much so that
I really need to go back and see what I journaled. Yeah,
I want to interesting And what I realized too when
I looked at the dates of my journal I hadn't
journaled in a while, and I was like, whoa, I
need to get back into this because it did for me.
(11:41):
It felt good. And that's why it's always important to.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
The date with the dates.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
You know you're good at that, you're good at journaling,
which a lot, but I haven't been.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
But I like, what has life been good. Is it like,
do I only want to journal when things are a
little more confusing, because I I'd rather I also want
a journal on the good days.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, I was just.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Don't forget if anybody finds my journals when I die,
burn that.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
That's only if you're writing down all your affirmations.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
But what I wrote this morning, we need to burn
it twelve minutes of.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Well, speaking of feelings, I was feeling I had a
lot of anxiety, let's say, not anger, so fear, a
lot of stuff happening. And I saw this TikTok of
this girl who was making a necklace much like the
one that is hanging around your neck.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
That is a dude, Oh me.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
My original katvan Buren.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah, okay, yeah, can we get a zoom in on
the necklace?
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Beautiful?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah? Okay, well just imagine. But I saw this TikTok
TikTok of this girl. We can't we can't get a
zoom in on this.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Oh, I mean it's like a zoom but.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
I could I get closer to the camera. Well, I
saw this video of a girl who had made this necklace.
It's a doop of the anthro ones, which I think
they have a lot of places, but on anthropology they
sell them for a high sticker item.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Sticker price, sticker price sticker price.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Anyway, so I was feeling anxious, and one thing I
have learned is that for me, being creative is the
antithesis of anxiety. For me, I think for a lot
of people, it gets set energy out. Whis why I've
gone through the hobbies, including painting manicures. Actually, don't zoom
it on this one.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I broke an nail. What else have I recently?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Pottery, air dry and ceramic puzzles, puzzles. I almost got
into airbrush t shirts, but I didn't. So anyway, I
went and I got all the supplies to make these
and it I literally sat in my kitchen table from
probably nine am to three.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
It was obviously that you didn't have any clients, let's
hope no clients.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
I did have things that needed to get done, right,
but I think my brain was so discombobulated that I
just needed an outlet to be able to just create something. Anyway,
So now I have these beautiful necklaces that I'm giving
away to everybody.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
You have lots, but I am requesting one of your
little teeny tiny beaded ones like this one's great and
I love it, but I really want a multicolored teeny
tiny one please.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
So you like that one, but you mildly like that one,
and you spicy hot salsa like the other one.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
Yeah, okay, Like everything we do now is like related
to salsa, which honestly does sound really good. Now, Like
I could really go for some like a trio.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Do you know what a trio? Three?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
The trio?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Okay? So salsa guak duh? Yeah, okay, sick, you know, sick.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
But I wanted to bring that up because I think
a lot of people who are I mean the world
right now in general, there's a lot of stuff going on,
and I can joke and laugh about how I start
new hop every other week, and at the same time
that is a coping skill for me that I've learned
really works, and then I get to give people things.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Okay, So creativity is the opposite of anxiety? Is creativity
the opposite of anger?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Well, if your anger brings you anxiety, it could help
with that. But you can do a lot of I mean,
journaling could be the opposite of that's creative.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Yeah, I I mean, you're.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Trying to see if that could work for you.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I
need like to dive into some sort of hobby. Journaling
isn't Yeah, writing is creative, but me, just.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
Like you, weren't doing creative writing writing.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Down every thought that's coming into my brain so that
I have like free flow, like like my pen didn't
really leave the pad, which I got that from. Speaking
of creativity, The Artist's Way, Yeah, that book where just
start writing pay doing your morning pages.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
So if you were to what's that's a creative thing
that you've enjoyed?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, I need to you. A couple years ago, were
trying to paint.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Yeah, and I was a huge puzzler, huge I was
bird watching. But maybe I need to get into necklaces.
Like honestly, your little board that you have that measures
out with like the like that you got that on Amazon.
I went to hobby lobby and.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
I like to see the stuff.
Speaker 4 (16:25):
Yeah, no, that's good because yeah, you never know when
you're ordering it. Yeah, okay, why helping people if they
want to figure out, like if they want to do
it as well.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (16:32):
If you've got a hobby, send it in. Let us know,
create abby, Like, what's your creative hobby?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
Not too expensive?
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I think that's the other thing is I went to
hobby lobby and spent like sixty dollars and got enough
stuff to make fifty necklaces.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Yeah, like you have gifts for all your friends for
the next year.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
Like this was three dollars, but this would be.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
A really special birthday present. Yeah, Like, I mean think
about it if with I know we're six months from Christmas,
but it's still a good Like what if this year
you did that, You went to hobby lobby and over
the next few months months you start making gifts for
the people in your life, and then boom, You've got
a homemade, really cute, special Christmas gift that looks like
(17:20):
it came from anthropology.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
So if I'm using girl math correctly, I'm saving so
much money. Yes, because this is now the gift everybody
will receive it.
Speaker 4 (17:29):
If you gave me this for Christmas, I would.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Be like, Okay, this is I show. It just came
a little early Christmas. I let you open it early
Merry Christmas, Christmas? What is it they typically do Christmas
in July?
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Can I have a back? I'll wrap it up.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
But I think this makes you think of my ADHD
which certain things I've really been working on is trying
to be more prepared and being on time, so we're
on time, on time, like to.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
A place or like because remember that one time I
gave you a birthday present, I think six months after
your birthday.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
Yeah, it say cat language cards and stuff.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
That's okay, I don't know. I mean like on time
physically to play places, like work stuff on time check,
no problem. But like if my boyfriend and I are
going somewhere, like last week, we went to this writer's
round thing at this place that's in Franklin, Tennessee, which
is right outside of Nashville, so cute. It's called the
Red Wheel, and.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
That's out of town where you went on your vacation.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, where we went on vacation. So sometimes going on
vacation might be you know, driving fifteen minutes up the
road to a restaurant. But his dad was a part
of this opening night, And if you're in Franklin or
in Nashville, it's like a summer series thing that's happening,
so it'd have to be this this summer twenty twenty
five podcasts are weird. What if someone's listening to this
(18:48):
in twenty twenty seven, I'd be like, too late, Yes,
you missed it. Because some people I get emails from
people sometimes they're like, I just started listening to your podcast.
I went all the way back to the beginning.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I think that they know that they know. Yea, they know.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
We don't get the restclaimer that this was in the past, right,
it also had a different name. We've evolved, so it
was last week he was picking me up, and I'm
getting to where I'm noticing my brain is my little
things that I'm doing to try to work towards being
on time with ease are working because I'm just naturally
(19:22):
getting ready earlier. I'm doing things in an order that
make more sense, like I should go ahead and get
ready now and then work on x y Z instead
of working on x y Z, which then lead me
to getting ready and I'm rushing, and then he gets
here and I'm not ready, like genius, Well that is,
I guess that's how a normal, what a typical neurotypical
(19:43):
neurotypical brain may function that way, where they can organize
things in a way that makes the most sense, like
I'm more greasy with it, which ends up an issue.
So all this to say, I've been aware of it,
and it's kind of fun because I'm like, I am
going to be ready on time and this is so
great and I'm proud of myself and I am celebrating it.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Or were you late to that event? No?
Speaker 4 (20:08):
I was on time, That's my point. Like, and I
noticed what I did to set myself up for success
to be on time. Like when he showed up here
and I was ready to go, he was like, you're ready?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
What? And it was like.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Prepared to He's prepared to wait? Which ironically or coincidentally,
whichever word fits you pick At the Writer's Round, one
of the songwriters wrote that song Waiting on a Woman.
Now I can't sing what it is, but he's like,
wait not. I think Brad Paisley ended up singing it,
(20:45):
but this is the songwriter, wait, waiting on a Woman?
I can't You don't not familiar? Yes, I believe Brad
did record.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Is that ironic or coincidence?
Speaker 4 (20:54):
That's why I said both, And you pick.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Ironic it's ironic? Isn't it a coincidence? Ironic?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Is it's ray on your wedding day? Is that ironic
though it's a free ride when you've already paid.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
It's good advice that you.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Just didn't to take, and who would have thought it?
Figures it's I never knew the traffic jim when you're
already late.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
That's not ironic.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Oh, okay, we have When Varble and Don Samson wrote
this for Brad Paisley, and When and Dawn were both there,
so both of the songwriters are there and they sang
it and it was funny because my boyfriend are sitting
there and this is whole song about waiting on a woman.
But it takes you through a timeline where he's like
waiting to meet a woman, and then when he meets her,
(21:45):
he's waiting on her to always be ready. But then
he passes away first and he's in heaven waiting on
his woman. But he this is where he's fine waiting.
He'll find a bench because he doesn't want her to
leave her life on earth to come. So he's fine
with waiting because he got used to waiting on a woman.
But anyway, the fact that he sang that song on
(22:06):
an evening that my boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Didn't have to wait on that's ironic. So then okay,
that's ironic.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Okay, yeah, so it's like then singing a song about
waiting on a woman on the night that your boyfriend
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
To wait on a woman, and if he did have
to wait on you, it would be a coincidence because
he didn't have to wait.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Then it's ironic.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
There, Okay, right, I don't Okay, now it's like too much.
But I use the Atlantis song a lot when I'm
trying to figure out ironic.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I like, but I don't think her stuff is really ironic. Well,
then why she put it in the song just because
she wanted to make a song. I feel like she's
so very she's smart, like she would make it work anyway.
I nudged him during that song and I was like,
you don't have to wait.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
On me today, you don't have to wait on me today,
and other things since then. I just maybe because I
(23:13):
celebrated it and I want to not break my streak.
I'm trying to stay the course and just get more
places with ease. And I don't know there's something about it,
because I don't know if it's just ADHD people or
other people may have this too, Like the whole time
blindness thing, but like there's things that just are difficult
(23:36):
for me, and that's sometimes organizing what order in which
I need to do things. Yeah, so here we are.
I have a list of borderline impossible things for ADHD brains,
so I thought we could go over it because that'd
be like, that's one of them.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah. And I think also even if you don't have ADHD,
this is helpful because sometimes when people hear this, they're like, wait,
that's hard for you. So it helps you have a
little bit or compassion and empathy for somebody who's struggling
to do something that seems kind of like a mundane task.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Yeah, because it's not like we're trying to do it
on purpose. But I do have awareness of it. And
so that's where it's tricky, which you've said before, sort
of like therapy is.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
The awareness is the booby trap of therapy. Yeah, the
booby trap.
Speaker 4 (24:20):
It's all a booby trap because then what you're aware,
it's like, Okay, well I can continue to live life
this way, or I can try to do something about it. Yeah,
which I'm I'm personally not medicated, but for other people
they may want to medicate. But I do neuro feedback,
which has been helping my brain. I go on and
off with that, and I've even bounced around to a
couple of different places and I try to figure out
(24:41):
what works for me, and I started taking well, I
do like lions Maine and my coffee and some other
mushrooms like cordyceps. Okay, like not harooms type shrew me
type things, more of the adaptogens. Okay, let me know. Okay,
if this resonates for your ADHD rain car maintenance, yes, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I just can't change my oil so much.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
So well, like physically you mean, just go get it changed,
or you you can't actually change it yourself because of both, Well,
but I don't want to change it myself.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
Well, I'm both.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I have such a hard time when I get a
little bit panics when I see the car engine light
so much so. I think I've told the story on
the podcast where I waited too long and my car
broke down in the middle of a very busy intersection.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
I had to get my car towed, no oil left.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Interesting though, but I think this is because I have
ADHD with like not really a lot of anxiety. I
think you have ADHD with a lot of a lot
of anxiety. Like when we travel together, you want to
get to the airport two hours early. I want to
get there twenty minutes before boarding, like especially if I'm
not checking a bag and I have TSSA free and
(25:56):
you you like freak out over that, but like it's
a owt you do.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
I react normally to somebody, Okay.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Now you're like hyper ventilating.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Okay, but you lived too much on the edge, Like
why would you put yourself in that situation? And remember
when we were in New York, literally our flight was
leaving in an hour and we hadn't even left the apartment,
and I was trying to be so cool, and I
think in the it was finally the uber that.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I was like, I'm god of freaking out over here, like.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Shaky, yeah, because why would you not just get there
early so you could make sure.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I know, but that's part of my growth. And now
I will meet you halfway. And I think knew me
the last week or so would be able to get
to the airport early, because why wouldn't I want to
do that with ease. But my point back to the
check engine light or something in the car, is like
you get nervous with it, like I'm like, ugh, who cares,
there's a light on? Like we'll figure that out later.
(26:50):
But it just seems a little overwhell. It's like I
don't want to deal with it, so I just I'm like, Okay,
i'll do it later today. And then that turns into
later tomorrow, which turns into.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
You to minimize it, where I'm just like I avoid it.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Yeah, I minimize avoid it, and you anxiously avoid it
or something.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
It's different though, like his energy is different, but same,
different but the same. What about returning things, because like
I often.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
You know that I hadn't returned things from Amazon for
about like five years. It was a recent thing that
I realized how easy it was to return things from Amazon.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Wait, you returned something to the Amazon?
Speaker 3 (27:30):
No, I didn't. I have.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
I used to have a box in my closet with
things that needed to be returned that I didn't return.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
It was like a joke from all my friends.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
They're like, you'll never return this if you buy it
off of Amazon, and I didn't.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I didn't realize it was so easy. Okay, it felt
like a lot.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
So I guess what I'm asking for Cody on is
did you decide to return things from five years ago
or you just started returning?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
I just started. I think I gave most of that
stuff to Goodwill. I think I sold some of it
on Facebook marketplace.
Speaker 4 (28:00):
Good for you. Yeah, I think just returning stuff, like
especially from impulse purchases, can be very returning your aff
to them all. Yeah. Like I bought a new collared
workout shirt from Target for pickleball. I needed a caller
shirt for where I was playing, and it was way
too tight. And I keep saying, I'm gonna go to Target,
I'm gonna go to Target. I'm gonna do Target, and
(28:21):
guess what, I still have it and it's too tight,
Like I'm not gonna be able to wear it, and
I don't. I don't think I'll miss a window. But oftentimes,
depending on where you got it from, you miss the
window and then we accept defeat. Getting gas before the
tank is empty.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Okay, this is interesting again. If my gas light is on,
I get anxious, Like there's some people that drive their
car till zero.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Could never be me.
Speaker 4 (28:48):
See, that's weird. That is total me. So have you
ever run out of gas? I haven't in forever. No,
I always to make it. But my car says now
it goes from to like towards empty, and then it'll
say please refuse like a little written note. And then
when it gets to the note changes from please refuel
to refuel immediately.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
That's when you do it. I do it.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
But you didn't answer my question. Have you ever run
out of gas? Yes, okay, you've got to avoid it.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
But it's been a long time. I just know I
said it's been a long time.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
That's then but no, so no or something like that.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Okay, well, that's just filler words. I realize sometimes I
say butt and it doesn't even make sense, Like if
I hear myself back and I'll be talking, like even
during some of our episodes, like if I have to
listen to something and I hear it back, I'm like,
why did I just say butt?
Speaker 3 (29:34):
Right there?
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I say, so, that was probably me just saying but
but anyway, but so but but but is a filler
word for me.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Okay, so you haven't have gas, but now your car
helps you. But here's the here's the thing. What if
refill immediately happens while you're not close to a gas station.
Speaker 4 (29:53):
I get yeah, I get that. I'm trying to be
better at it. I mean, my son, he freaks out
about the gas tank. And even last night we were
driving and he was like, how much guess do you have?
And I said I have half a tank and he
was like, dad fills up around half a tank. And
I was like, isn't that nice? Isn't your dad so prepared?
I mean, a lot of the tank a wild well,
(30:15):
a lot of people won't. They'll go between half a
quarter of a tank and they are definitely getting gas.
I have never been that way.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
You know, what I really feel like a win is
is when you fill up your gas. Like if I
have to fill up my tank out, I be like,
I'm gonna do it in the morning. When you actually
do it for your morning self so and then you're
not rushed to work.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
That feels like I climbed a mountain. M h. I
feel so proud of myself.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
I got gas the other day and I got so
bored doing it. I didn't fill all the way up.
I think I got to half a tank.
Speaker 3 (30:43):
You're like, this place is lame. I'm out of here,
I know.
Speaker 4 (30:48):
I was like, why I drove off and it only
was it half a tank, and I was like, why
am I this way?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
All of those people go and fill up that half.
You only filled up because.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
I was over it. And I was like, what what
is wrong with me? Because now I'm gonna have to
come back even sooner and you're to come do this again.
It's stupid, Like I do not be like me.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Stati didn't have good vibes.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
I don't know, just don't be like me. Although I
am a working Morgan progress maybe I'll maybe with just
like now I'm gonna be ready when my boyfriend's coming
to pick me up. I'm gonna turn over a new
leaf and like start filling up it three quarters of
a tank.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Imagine that too much? Then you're doing it like every other.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Day, okay, okay, grocery shopping with a plan. I always
have like a list in my head and I'm like, okay, yeah,
I'm pretty sure I have basil, but we're definitely out
of paprika, and so I'll buy paprika and not get basil,
and then I'll get home and I have the opposite.
It's like literally the opposite, or like you know, when
(32:01):
you're doing something and you have to like tell it
to yourself. Like I was making cupcakes the other day
and I was like, third a cup of oil, third
a couple of Oh.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
My god, third a cup of oil.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
And then I go and I'm like, third a cup
of oil, and I know it's a third a couple
of oil, but I have to check the box a
million times. But then of course I don't check the
box for the full instructions because it's like mix all
the wet and then add it to the dry, but
I just throw it all in at the same time.
And I was like, why did they want me to
do like separate.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Overly check this one thing?
Speaker 1 (32:30):
But then you totally disregard Yes, exactly speaking, I literally
have to read the recipe seventeen times, but like you
know that you know, but then at the same time
you're like, did I make that up? Or like did
I am? I seeing it backwards? Like is it correct?
What would it be?
Speaker 3 (32:44):
Like I always wanted to have a photographic memory.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
Oh my gosh, amazing, we would rule the world, the world.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
The world would be so induvsive, Oh my gosh, people
would be in all of us.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Instead, I'm like digging the box out of the trash
because I threw it away thinking I remember exactly what
I need, and I'm like, okay, better go get those
instructions out of the trash can again, and then I'm
reading them and I'm like, why am I this way?
Speaker 3 (33:11):
Literally like three eggs? Three eggs? Three eggs? Like I
got it.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
You throw it away and then you're like how many eggs?
I think it was three, but like I can't be
so sure. It might be two, but like that would
be creazy.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
And then did I put three? Ten? Thank god, there's
three little yellow things floating in there are I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Know the amount of times I'm like did I put
the baking soda in?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
Or did I not put it in?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Like I'm not sure, and so I try to go
in an order of the ingredients, but sometimes you get
ahead of yourself.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
Did I take my medication or did I not? Should
I double up or go out more harmful to like
not take it or have too much?
Speaker 1 (33:43):
And then I told myself so many times, just get
one of those pill boxes.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Then you'll always know if you've taken it or not.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do that, and then
I'll like say I'll do it later, and then later
it never comes, and then I tell myself I'm gonna
do it.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
You know what, I think that pill boxes are like
journals for ADHD people. You know how a lot of
HD ADHD people have lots of journals. Yeah, like I
need a new journal. I need a new planner for this,
I need a new I have so many different pill
box type containers. Yeah, because I have one.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
Yeah, okay, because I've never bought one.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Oh really, I keep telling myself I'm gonna buy one,
so then I don't forget if I'm taking my medication
or not, or my vitamins or anything, and then I.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
I never do it. Come up to my Amazon shop
in my bathroom. Why didn't you return them because I
wanted hard? No, you just wanted I wanted them all,
just like I want all my journals. Did you see
that super cute journal?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Your emotional support pill boxes? That's why I have so
many water bottles.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yeah, I'm not that way with water bottles, just because
I don't really like drinking water, But so you.
Speaker 3 (34:44):
Should get water bottles. Maybe that's what I'll get you
for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
Yeah, do you see the super cute journal? I head
out there at the five minute journal with flowers. It's
really cute. Yeah, it makes me want us to make
a journal one day. Maybe we will for Christmas, maybe
we will TBD so grocery shopping with a plan that's
hard for people, day AHD filling out any paperwork when I'm.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Talking about this, but the paperwork because I need to
change my name. But I'm like, it sounds like so
much work.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
I think I'm getting to the point where maybe I
could do it, like I have to adult and do it,
but I also have help at times. Shandon's in the room,
so I feel like I need to acknowledge it. And
she definitely helps make a lot of my paperwork, so
I feel like she's like, I know how you get
it done.
Speaker 3 (35:27):
You're like, I don't have a problem with that, And.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
I'm actually pulled out everything. My kids are doing great,
medical school forms, insurance.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
I just got an urgent message that if I didn't
feel something now, something would beat.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
I didn't just text it on our you don't have
to give me credit ever, haha.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Okay. But also for her to be like, oh, it's
no problem for me.
Speaker 4 (35:46):
I know I can't act like that, like I know that.
I know that that's and I also see that as
like a gift, and I also know that I can't
always rely on that, Like I need to have agency
over my life and I need to do things.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
That's you saying, Okay, this is hard for me. I
need help in this area.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
So you ask me, and I'm to a place where
in my life I have been able to have that.
I didn't always have that, and I justly didn't do
things like paperwork. It's like, Oh, I finally, how did
you know you've made it well? Making appointments? Oh my gosh.
I've been trying to make myself be in charge of
(36:23):
this part of my life of like calling and doing things.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
And are you calling or are you doing it online? That's
a game changer.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
I'm texting or calling.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
If I have to call to make an appointment, probably
not gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I guess it's mostly by text.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
If I can do it online, I think I'm good.
But if I there's some places you go online, you
send a message and then they call you to make the appointment,
I'm out.
Speaker 4 (36:48):
Yeah. Yeah, especially if you call me back at a
time where I don't know. I'm in that mode. Where
I can't. Like, there's some things where I can like
check on my text messages and I'm like good. And
there's other times texts come in and I'm like, I
don't know what to do. I'm just not even gonna
open it. And it's like if someone that I want
to hear from and that I really enjoy and I
like them, but I'm like, I don't know. I physically
I cannot open this text right now, and I'm like,
what the what the what the what the what the
(37:11):
It's so stupid. I don't like being this way mailing stuff. Yeah,
birthday cars, that's why Kat becoming one of my nearest
Sindira's closest friends ever. And you're having ADHD. It's like
I finally met someone that I've never felt more seen
and the same with on.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Which is just because I forget your birthday.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Yeah, because but you also know what it feels like.
It feels horrible, like as the person that just.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Goes on it's so sweet. I'm like, I only know
that you're saying this. It's because I've gotten your birthday
wrong every time.
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Yeah, it's like I met my match and your birthday.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Is still on the wrong day in my calendar right now, Yeah,
that's myself I was going to change.
Speaker 4 (37:49):
I think it's also more fun too that like every year,
I'm going to look forward to seeing if it's you
know that you get my birthday right, But I have
empathy for people if they get it, like, of course
do I want my birthday to be celebrated, like we
all we do want to be remembered, and it feels good.
And also if someone were to forget and be like,
(38:10):
oh shoot, I am like, you know what been there?
It's okay because I know when I've done that, it
wasn't on purpose. However, one of the things that I
did have to implement was a calendar and I have
to utilize that more and I have it written down
and I have the reminders and then you know, if
you text someone. The thing is, it's tricky on an iPhone.
If you text someone on the wrong day their birthday,
(38:32):
iPhone will be like is this this person's birthday? And
then they want to save it for you is that day?
So if you think that that's it and you click
save that it'll save it for you.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I mean, then you're screwed. Manually put your birthday in
the wrong day.
Speaker 4 (38:44):
Okay, it's okay, I forgive you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
But that is nice that there's not pressure because if
you forget something or something like that happens, there's not
pressure for you to do everything perfectly because I'm like, oh, same.
Speaker 4 (38:57):
Yeah, but we don't just it's not like you do.
You're not just gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna keep
living this way although every year, but you show up
in other ways, like really awesome other ways, Like I
think everyone has their gifts and strengths, and I just think.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Well, I'm always earlier on your birthday, so it's not
like I forget your birthday.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
Yeah, so just.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Gifts and strength, thank you.
Speaker 4 (39:22):
Thank you, so returns, birthday cars, important documents, mailing stuff,
getting them into an actual mailbox. It feels harder than
you would think, harder than it should, quite honestly. And
then canceling subscriptions we don't use, like.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
That one is geared towards you. Yeah, how's your face? Fitness?
Oh I cancel, canceled, cancel.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
I haven't even been doing it.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
You're not even doing exercises.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
I mean sometimes I open up my limps, but.
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Occasionally I'm like.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
See, maybe that's like your hyperfixation is like I hyper
fixate on all these different hobbies. You hyper fixate on
all these different like things, like.
Speaker 4 (39:58):
Really fitness as a hobby. It was, it was very
time continued.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
It's not a hobby. Why what do you do for fun?
Speaker 4 (40:08):
I was yearning about Posta and the this muscle, I was,
it's anatomy. It's not a hobby. I'm sorry Faceditness is
not a hobby. It is jumping on a mini tramplate.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
If you like to tramp.
Speaker 4 (40:24):
I love to walk with my weight to best.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
That's a hobby.
Speaker 6 (40:27):
Is walking standing on my vibrating plate? Is that a hobby?
Is walking standing on my vibrating clate?
Speaker 4 (40:45):
What is that a hobby? What my vibrating clate? You
know the plates that you stand on. Wait, you don't
know about a vibrating plate. First of all, what a
vibrating fight. It's like a ron thing.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
And why you never told me about that? Hiding this
from me?
Speaker 4 (41:05):
You stand on it and it's shaking your whole body,
it's opening up your lengths.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
I've never heard of this. It reminds me of my
great grandma had this exercise machine. No, it was like
a little wooden square on a swivel, and you stood
on it and you went like this. It's called the
twisty turvy. And that was how they worked out. Is
they just stood on their twisty turfy. Oh they did this.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Your gret grandma didn't have.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
One of those. I saw My grandma did not. She
bold and sat in her recliner smoked cigarettes. Okay, was
her activity. I took this from my great grandma's house.
I'm pretty sure when she passed away, and I think
my mom still has it. If you would like to
borrow it.
Speaker 3 (41:46):
That could be a hobby. I twist.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
Yeah. I guess my hobbies maybe different than here.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
I'm not trying to hate on your hobbies. I don't
think that's a hobby. I think that's just something that.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
You do spend time doing.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, the hobby to like, what's the definition of an
interest that brings you like joy and that you I mean,
I guess that would fit.
Speaker 4 (42:05):
Okay, I'll give you that. The vibrating plate isn't a hobby,
but face fitness might be.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
Okay, And you know, I shouldn't have reacted that way
because if that really is.
Speaker 4 (42:14):
What if I was like, what's your hobby? Skincare.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
I just like, how much time can you spend?
Speaker 4 (42:21):
Skincare is not but like face fitness would fall like,
but some people might be really into like testing out
different types of skincare and figuring out what works for
them and then telling their friends and make up a
hobby like you're how to do your eyes a fun
way or makeup?
Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yeah, you're right, I'm being a little judge. So if
you have facebitness to be your hobby.
Speaker 4 (42:40):
That, well it's not anymore. I quit.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Okay, So what's your next hobby going to be? Can't
be vibrating plate. Let's see, I really love cleaning.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
I love it. I've been really getting if I've been
on my laundry gain like you would not.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Believe, like laundry is your new hobby.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Well, I've always loved laundry, but I am at peak
laundry level where I rarely have.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Anything to do.
Speaker 4 (43:09):
A dirty item come to my house, no like, and
I'm I'm trying to make sure my kids are on it.
And I'm like, if we've got laundry, we're getting done now.
It's it probably doesn't make sense water wise. Are you
like doing special things with the laundry? Or you just
like like to no, I'm just like on it. It's
like if if it's if it's in the wash and
it's in the dryer, and then I'm gonna put it away. Okay,
(43:31):
Like I'm I'm not doing this thing where I have
piles everywhere because I part of my ADHD at times
is to create piles. And now I still have certain piles,
but my laundry is good. I'm pretty sure I have
a load in the dryer right now, and when we
get done, I'm gonna go put it away. And I'm
gonna put it away.
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Okay. Well, i have a doffe and I'm.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Not even going on vacation for like two more weeks,
and I've already started organizing on a rack what I'm
gonna pack? Who am I?
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Okay, but that's not a hobby.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
Well, but this is just norly I'm packing last minute.
But I'm telling you, like, I don't know if it's
my neural feedback or if it's just like my awareness
and I'm trying to be more intentional.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Are you excited about your vacation? Maybe can I tell
you the definition of hobby? This might help us narrow
down what your next hobby is going to be an
activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. Hobbies
are not pursued with intention of making a profit. So
that's why I'm not selling my jewelry. I'm just giving
(44:33):
it away, right. However, is this done in your leisure
time for pleasure? Is is laundry done in your leisure
time for pleasure? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (44:43):
I mean like I was like, and if that is
satisfying to you.
Speaker 4 (44:48):
It was satisfying.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Put it away. You have a certain like detergent that
you love.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
That's unscented, freeing clear because my dermatologists, I had that rash. Remember, Yeah,
I'm brad that rash. I can't even use scented detergent.
I can't even use fabric softener anymore. I use vinegar,
and I can't even use dryer sheets. I use wool
balls and I put a drop of vanilla essential oil
(45:13):
on the balls.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Does it work yeah?
Speaker 4 (45:16):
Okay, but it's it's taken me a minute to get
used to and then the balls they get lost.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Okay. So are you satisfied with your hobby life?
Speaker 4 (45:25):
No?
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Okay, So let's we'll brainstorm a something for you to try.
Speaker 4 (45:28):
Okay, i'd be. I want our listeners to email us
their hobbies. Oh yeah, okay, great ideas like I'd like
to horseback ride, but it's expensive hobby. Well, it's harder
than you would think. I've been trying to find a
place for my kids to go because they did equine
therapy and I thought, oh, they would really enjoy doing that,
and it's hard to track down a place with a
(45:49):
horse to go ride. So you're right, it's not easy.
But I think if we could figure it out, I
would want to ride horses, but not like competitively, just therapeutically.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
Have you seen those hobby horse things from Denay?
Speaker 4 (46:04):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (46:04):
No, but no, maybe day.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
Hey she's got this character is Judy hobby horsing?
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Judy does she jump around on a horse on a stick? Yes? Okay,
that's a thing they have.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
I don't know what you're talking about, but hobby horsing
is a real hobby that people now do, and it's
they have like horse competitions.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
But you're just running around on the horse stick.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Okay, that's not me.
Speaker 3 (46:31):
I'm not doing that. That would be easier than going
to find a horse. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1 (46:35):
Okay, So send in a hobby, so then you can
pick one that you're definitely going to do.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
Yeah, y'all can email us your hobbies. Hey, they're at
Feeling Things podcast dot com. And speaking of emails, we
have an email at the day. This is just a
very simple direct question that I thought we could address
because you know, other people might be in this situation.
Speaker 3 (46:55):
Maybe not.
Speaker 4 (46:55):
It's kind of unique, but she said, Hey, hoping y'all
can help a girl out recently matched with a man
on a dating app. The thing is, we both have
kids in a mutual activity and have never spoken. So
I've been talking to him but he doesn't seem to
recognize me in real life. Do I tell him or
play dumb until we hopefully have a date? Thank you,
(47:16):
smiley face.
Speaker 1 (47:18):
Okay, So I'm curious what you would do. So this
is somebody who mets him in a dating app. It
sounds like her child is maybe on like the same
soccer team as this person's child.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
What would you do?
Speaker 4 (47:30):
Well, I'm like, why hasn't he put two and two together?
I would be like, do my pictures look like me?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Or maybe it's just that, like there is a bigger
thing than a soccer team, Like, let's say they both
go to the same gym, like gymnastics gym, that could
be therebe hundreds of people there, So.
Speaker 4 (47:49):
I guess I would probably say something in the app
if we've been messaging, I'd be like, hey, do you
have a kid that plays soccer?
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Sports?
Speaker 4 (47:59):
Basketball? And then I mean.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
Like, I think that's an easy point of conversation and opener, right.
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Like, hey, random, but I think it's weird. We've been
chatting on here and you definitely saw me at the
basketball game this weekend and didn't say anything.
Speaker 3 (48:14):
That's awkward to me.
Speaker 4 (48:15):
Okay, so what's she supposed to do?
Speaker 3 (48:17):
That's what No. I'm saying, like, it's awkward to then
see them and act like you don't know them.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
You know, I'm glad we read this because I think
this can bring a lot of something that's bringing her anxiety.
Speaker 3 (48:27):
I don't think it's that big of a deal.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
I think you'd say, hey, I think our kids are
on the same rowing team or something like that, or
go to the same.
Speaker 4 (48:36):
Art class, or now I think our kids are the
same hobby horse club. Are you at hobby horse thing
the other day?
Speaker 1 (48:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (48:48):
But I don't.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
I mean, I guess don't play dumb, although don't remember
remember my boyfriend he had seen me. This is a
little bit different, but it's like, why didn't you say
that you had ever met me before? Because because I
didn't recognize him, But he met me at Whole Foods,
like over a year before we ever went out, and
on our first date, he never brought that up, and
(49:10):
I didn't recognize him. I didn't remember meeting him at
Whole Foods, so I brought up like it's weird, Like
he didn't tell me till the second day, and then
I'm like, wait a second, well, okay, now I remember
us meeting at Whole Foods. Why didn't you say that
on the first date. And this is one of the
things like he's heard on the podcast that he's like,
I need to clarify some stuff and stand up for
(49:32):
myself because on our first date, if I had said
that to you, you might have been like, what, No,
this is weird.
Speaker 3 (49:39):
Would you have thought it was weird? Maybe? Oh?
Speaker 4 (49:42):
But then by the second date, I was already liking him.
So he's like I waited till I knew like, okay,
I think she's into me, so safe I better.
Speaker 3 (49:51):
Tell you now. So it doesn't feel like he's like
a stalker.
Speaker 4 (49:54):
Yes, okay, because he came up to me like yeah,
because what he said to me at Whole Foods is like, hey,
my kids and I listen every day. You'll do great
job with the show. Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (50:02):
Well, then if we're out on our first date and
then he brings that up, I'd be like, oh.
Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, I think your situation is a little different, just
because it could come off that way. This is like, yeah,
it's just bring it up because he either doesn't know
or he doesn't know what to do either. Yeah. What
if he's thinking the same thing and he's like, I'm
glad you said something. I didn't know if I should
say something or not.
Speaker 4 (50:22):
Okay, So so that answers that. Yeah, so say something,
say it in the app.
Speaker 1 (50:27):
And if he thinks that's so weird that he's like, oh,
I'm never speaking to you again, he's weird, Like, that's
not a reason to not reply, right, Like you've dodged
a bullet.
Speaker 4 (50:35):
If that's the case, screw him, kidding, not yet, No,
not like that, like that okay, and we'll wrap with
a we did an email the date, so we'll do
a voicemail of the day. This is from Shannon in Colorado.
(50:57):
She is talking about it Talks episode from a while
back where one of our listeners had had a supervisor
say that she shouldn't do a certain part of her
job because she's a woman, and this is her thoughts
on that, because this has happened to her as well.
Here is the voicemail.
Speaker 5 (51:19):
Hi, Amy and Kat. My name is Shannon. I am
from Colorado and I was just listening to the podcast
in regards to the young lady who had a supervisor
saying things about her and that she should not be
doing work because she's a woman. I have had this
situation happen as well, and I think I have come
out of it by just asking the gentleman, so can
(51:43):
you please elaborate on that and explain to me what
part of my job you feel like I can do.
So then that maybe he is thinking that your job
consists of something else, or again, maybe he was joking,
or maybe you know, if to assume what men's brains
are thinking, and so I like it better just to
(52:07):
come out and say, can you explain what you mean
by that? And then that leaves it all in on
their plate to explain how they were thinking or what
their process was during that time. Thanks have a great week, So.
Speaker 3 (52:21):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (52:22):
That is from Shannon, and I like that. Just that
can apply to if a man is saying that about
you being a woman, or just any time you need
clarity around something, to just pause and ask that simple
question like.
Speaker 3 (52:37):
Could you elaborate?
Speaker 4 (52:38):
Elaborate? Can you further explain what you mean by X,
y Z whatever they asked you? And then yes, it's
the balls in their court and they have an opportunity
to explain themselves.
Speaker 1 (52:51):
I like her curiosity how she was like, it's really
hard to assume what men's brains are thinking, so she
really is asking versus making assumptions.
Speaker 3 (53:00):
So thank you.
Speaker 4 (53:01):
Love that advice. Thank you Shannon, and y'all can call
and leave us voicemails anytime. Eight seven seven, two oh seven,
two oh seven seven, So voicemails, emails. We're attainable, reachable.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Reachable, We're attainable. I guess we're both. Is that ironic
or a coincidence?
Speaker 3 (53:21):
You pick?
Speaker 4 (53:23):
Okay, we have you had the day that you need
to have? Follow us on Instagram Feeling Things podcast, right, Yeah,
a fir change shit at Feeling Things podcast. Yes, yeah,
it just felt weird. You know sometimes when you say
something and it feels weird.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (53:40):
At Feeling Things podcast, Also on YouTube and TikTok. We're everywhere.
Speaker 3 (53:44):
See a Facebook. Oh Facebook too. Wow, Look at us,
Look at us all grown up?
Speaker 4 (53:50):
Okay, bye bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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