Amy shares how it actually went when her boyfriend met her ex-husband (spoiler: strong handshakes were exchanged) and Kat breaks down the psychology behind why we deflect praise (especially as women) and shares tips for how to receive compliments without cringing (even if a compliment journal sounds weird). They also discuss the Karen Read trail (Body in the Snow), a couple of listener emails, how Kat got tricked into believing a very wrong fact about a particular body part, and more!
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Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking m brother, ladies and felts.
We just follow Anna spirit where it's all the front
over real stuff, tell the chill stuff and him.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
But Swayne.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do it just.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Stop you feel things.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Kat and our feeling of the day.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I'm ringing the feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay, it is I feel relief because my boyfriend met
my ex husband.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Check.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Well, I don't know the story.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So my daughter had a birthday and we all went
out to eat. I didn't tell you this part. Alex,
we've said his.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Name, okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
Alex was with you.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Well, no, sheer invited him.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
My daughter said he could, but he had not met
her dad, my ex husband, And he said, it's her birthday.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
I don't want that to.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Be like a overshadow overshadow her birthday because not that
it totally would, but we just didn't Eve want to
run the risk of that. He said, how about after
her dinner, all stop by the house and he did
that my in laws, my ex in laws, were in
town though I still call them my in laws, but
they're my ex in laws, and they were coming by
(01:30):
my house because they gave me a ride to the dinner.
And then at dinner I talked to Ben about how, hey,
Alex is going to be coming by the house.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
It was like, why don't you stop by?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Your parents gonna be coming, and then I don't know
if you had something to pick up or drop off.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I don't know. Because this happened.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
My relief is I've been able to exhale for the
last like, I don't know, a week and a half,
two weeks now, So this happened a minute ago, which
is so funny that we haven't talked about it. But
I think sometimes we hold off stuff because well, we
know we're going to record it for the podcast, or
we talk about other things. So my exhale is like
I just feel relief, like it it felt so good
(02:07):
to have it go well, and I guess in my
mind I was like, I don't know how this is
ever going to go or what it's going to be like,
and it's going to be so awkward, And it wasn't
awkward at all.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
And so what was.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
It like, like did he come to the door and who?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Well, first of all, Ben always comes to the back door,
but this day he came to the front door, and
I think he just thought.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, and I'm like, what are you doing? Like you
always come through the back.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So he came to the front door, knocked, and I'm like,
I knew you were coming over and your parents are here,
just walk in. So he knocked and then he came in,
and then Alex is already talking to his parents.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So they met.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So Alex met my ex inlaws okay, and my ex
husbin and he walks in and they both just like
lean towards each other with like a firm grip.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Yeah, Cryocat was here.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
It was like this very firm like, like the firmest like.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And then it was first name, last name, both of them.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, and he was like, hey, I'm boom Beam and
He's like not.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Not, you know, I'm sorry. I don't think I've ever
introduced myself as Catherine Defotta to anybody or van Be okay.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
So we can act it out with our names.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I could be like if I walked in your your
say I always came in your back door, but today
I come to your front door. And then I walk
in and with a very firm him shake, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Hey, Amy Brown, Catherine van Buren, No.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
You need Cat vaan Buren, Cat van Buren shake?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Wait wait what if? What if?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Then introduced himself and I was like, just so you
can remember his name?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I don't think I'll have trouble forgetting it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
But that is that's such a dude thing of like,
oh my first name and my last name.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yes, for both of them. Like I was like, what
I was sitting? I was like, what is going on
just now? It was very interesting to see men in
their natural habitat.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
What did they say after they said it.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Was they just started touching casual Alex.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
They had Alex do a mutual friend of Ben's, and
Ben had just put on this awesome charity event for
foster kids like that week. That's why his parents were
in town, and then it was to Shear's birthday, so
they stayed in town for that as well. But Alex
asked him how the event went, and Ben was sort
of like, how how did you know about that? He's like, oh,
my friend was going And then they talked about the
(04:44):
night and Alex said like, oh, yeah, well, congratulations, that's
really awesome, and it was a very normal I just
you know, that exhale, that relief, and so the gift
of relief is something stressful or.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Painful has ended or east.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yes, and not that it was painful, but I did
have a little bit of stress of like, when is
this going to happen?
Speaker 4 (05:03):
How is it going to happen?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Because I thought maybe it would happen at a track
meet for one of the kids, but then it never
really worked out to where Alex could get there because
he's got three kids and then or at a time
when Ben was gonna be there.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
So it just never happened.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Until it did, and then I was like, yay, So
I'm glad that I get to lean into my exhale,
because without relief, if you don't let yourself sit in
the relief and feel it and like, then wins will
feel exhausting.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Even yeah, that's what I heard, and.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It sounds like too. The biggest one of the biggest
parts of this is the unknown. It's you didn't know
how it was going to happen, and that was the
most probably consuming.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, and I was it like it was organic.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yet I was also able to give a heads up,
so nobody was surprised.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Like I didn't know it would happen that night.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But at dinner, Bin and I sat by each other
and we had a really good conversation, and so I
just decided to shoot my shot and say, hey, you know,
swing by the house.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I think Vin's Varens were probably more nervous than Vin was,
because they were like, oh, he's coming, Oh.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
He were going to meet him?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh okay, okay, okay, And then they did and everyone
was great, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
So okay. Well, also, good job Alex for meeting the
whole fam.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, wins or successful moments should feel energizing, not exhausting.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You look energized, lean into the relief.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
And now we can go anywhere and do anything and
run into anybody and I don't have to freak out.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
And by anybody, I mean like.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
I think you would have freaked out if you ran organically.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I think if we were to organically, like if we
were to run into him.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Just at a restaurant or at the mall, I guess
it would be okay, I.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
Thank you, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
See that's unknown it's like we build it up in
our heads, but I think you'd be able to handle.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
It, and I handled it. I handled it well, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Which speaking of my relationship, you and I were talking
on the phone before we recorded, and I had a
kind of an emotional day with my relationship, my with
my widower boyfriend, which I do want to acknowledge. Really quickly,
we got a really nice email from Lindsay, who is
a listener that also married a widower, and she sent
an email. I'm not going to read the whole thing,
(07:10):
but I did copy and paste it onto our little
doc here because I wanted to give her a shout
out because she gave me encouragement for talking.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
About my relationship the way that I.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Have, because she knows that she felt the same even
though now they're officially married.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I'm just dating one.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But he also had kids, and she shared a little
bit of her experience becoming a stepmom, and also that
she knows there's so many other people that are going
through this and it's a different type of struggle that
not a lot of people may understand.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So she was grateful that I was talking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
So Lindsay, also, thank you for sending the email because
that gave me encouragement to also know that I'm not alone.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And I think also you talking about it. I just
wonder if the reason a lot of people aren't talking
about these types of relationships and the struggles and them
is you don't ever want to say anything wrong because
you just wanted to be respectful in everything that you've
said when you you do talk about it, and that
keeps people because I don't know, I don't want to
say the wrong thing. So that probably did mean a
(08:09):
lot to a lot of people who.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Like, why does anybody talk about about this? So good
for you. I should be proud of yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So to anybody out there dating a widower or a widow,
do you know there's a difference widowers or men and
widows or women? Really that was a long pause we're
about I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
About what I have called people. You don't call a
woman a widower, she's a widow, she's the widow. Why
does that sound sort of like.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Like, well, female male widow actor? Actress later say actor, Now,
well then maybe we progressed and it's just widow or widow, which.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
My pause was I was trying to like, but then
I'm like, I don't really use that word often, so
I don't know what I say.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I didn't know either until I started dating him.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Did you google it?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Like?
Speaker 5 (08:59):
What do I?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, he just started calling he called himself a widower
and then yeah, I think at one point I looked
it up and saw that widower man, widow woman.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Interesting. All right, well thanks for that.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So but dating a widower and the emotions that come
with that sometimes. I was crying earlier today talking to
Cat about something, and I'm in a quote. Cat, Now
this is the quote of the day, She replied back
to me. Good news is your eyebrows held up through
the cry?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
They did?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, because if you're if you're new here, I lasered
off my microbladed eyebrows and I've been drawing them on
and it takes me about ten minutes a day per
brow and they still look I'm getting faster, no total total.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Well, they looked perfect, so you should be.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I don't know that's faked, but well they look Also.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It's funny that you were like, your brows survived the
cry when crying is from the eyes down.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Okay, I don't know how you guys cry. But when
I cry, I'm like, oh, and I like rubbing my
face I have.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I think I still have probably a makeup on my
sleeve because I was like doing this.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
You probably did a very like dainty cry. Is that
what it was like?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Cry?
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Like, I think I still have streaks in my makeup
or whatever work.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
If there is wetness, I could see it get in
my eyebrow. I'm an ugly anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Quote of the day, Yeah, quote me, Yeah, quote Kat
good news. Is your eyebrows held up through the cry? Okay,
so Shannon did a little researcher. Widow is a woman
whose husband has died, while a widower is a man
whose wife has died.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
She's confirming yes.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Both terms are used to describe someone who has lost
their spouse through death and has typically not remarried. Well,
so you no longer If Alex and I get married,
is he no longer? He wouldn't be a widower anymore,
because now he's.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
No longer a husband, but he still is though he is.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
But I'm alive if I marry him.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
That means and at one time he was.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Okay, he was a widower and now he's a husband.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Okay, we can we call it he's a wedded widower?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Why?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Okay, Shanon's got it. Remarriage.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
While the terms are usually used when a person is
not remarried, a woman who remarries is no longer referred
to as a widow. Similarly, a man who remarries is
no longer considered a widow or the more you know.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
These are the fact.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
The more you know. Now, now you guys know how
to go into those kinds of conversations prepared. Yeah, now
you know.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Okay, Kat, I need to know. Did you watch Body
in the Snow?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I was waiting for you to ask me this. I
watched it and Patrick watched it. Disclaimer This is a
spoiler alert for anybody who has not watched this and
wants to watch Body in the Snow, which is a
documentary on what was on Matt Max. Okay, it's Karen Reid.
By the way, we didn't know if it was red
or read.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Yeah, it's read.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Okay, so I can free right now that I gave
the spoiler alert. I wait, am I gonna say what
I think?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Okay, because I do not know what you say.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
At the same time, Sure.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
We're gonna say guilty or not guilty? Okay, one, two three?
I don't you think he's guilty guilty? Oh? My really? Yes?
Really yes. Also, she is not a likable person in
that documentary. There's no likability.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Well, I'm trying to figure out what I would be
like if I was you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Would not be on trial for allegedly murdering my boyfriend.
And I was like, I probably wouldn't act like she's acting.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You wouldn't. But also she's from Boston, so I don't
I know, personalities are different. And she did say something
in the very beginning where she was like, I don't
like talking about this because no matter how I answer questions,
people are going to pick apart my answer the way
they want it to be. So if I smile, it
means this, But if I don't smile, it also means this.
So I can't do anything right. So I get that,
(12:54):
and it must be really hard. I was also wondering
did they know they were going to make a documentary
about this trial before the trial, because why did.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
They film that?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I mean, maybe, I'm not sure I was.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I was curious because they were they filmed it while
the trial was happening. I just thought that I've never
seen something like that where.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You get this like usually like inside, look at what's
happening from the get go.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, yeah, okay, these are my thoughts. She Turtleman, you know,
I'm talking about Turtle Boy. Interesting part of the show.
People are way too invested with her fans, like the
fanfare of it all very strange. I actually, for the
first two episodes thought that she wasn't guilty. And I
don't know if it's the evidence that I believe that
(13:42):
proves it was her. The evidence isn't that strong. It's
the vibe.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, but I just don't think someone can be guilty
because of their vibe.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Well that's my opinion, right, you put me on the jury.
She is guilty.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
You put me on the jury, and I'm like, whoever
spoke last? And I'm like yeah, yeah, I'm like wow, okay,
because every time like her guy would speak, I'd be like, oh, man.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Got him, got him?
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah, wow's good.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Yeah, he's good.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And I was like, she's innocent, and then the other
people would speak and I would be like, oh my gosh,
she did it.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But that prosecutor, I know some help.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
If I was on the jury, I don't think I would.
I think I would say, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I don't. It's not definitive enough for me to put
her in jail for the rest of her life. But
since I'm not on the jury, I feel more freedom
and sane. I think she did it okay, which is
it's a mistrial.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
But we'll keep we'll talking about it in case people
want to watch it and they fast forward a little bit.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hey, we're done talking about body in the snow.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Oh, yeah, we're done. You can listen to us now,
mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Hello, hello, hello, Yeah, but you gave your verdict, and really, honestly,
I'm dead serious about mine. I'm telling you is why
I can't be on a jury. You don't if you
did something you do not want me.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
You'd be the person that makes the jury a hung jury.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, Like we'd be in deliberation for like a long time.
I'd be like, book your hotel rooms, people, we're gonna
be here a while.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Can we get some snacks?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
How long do you get do you know?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Like?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
How long does a jury get until it's a hung dury?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I don't know. Maybe I get that information, we get
that thanks got our fact checker over there.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
So wait, you got scammed somehow.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, I'm glad you brought this up.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
I got scammed.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
The one who's been looking out for your scamming got god.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yes, if you are laying on top of this, how
did you get got?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So? You know last week I told you that your
eyeball was as big as a tangerine or a clementine.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, and I think I even supported that because I'm like, yeah,
I've heard, but I feel like it is well.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I was telling I was telling everybody this fact. I
posted on my Instagram. I was telling girls at work,
so it's the scam. Well. So one of my therapists
at work was like, that doesn't feel right, and I
was like, no, this lady that I took her training,
she told me. She even brought an orange to show
(16:17):
me how big an eyeball was. That's how convinced she
was that the eyeball was that big.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Okay, but an orange is one size, and then a tangerine.
There can be tangerines that are size of a ping
bong ball, and nur as is the size of a
ping pong ball.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
She brought like a b Okay, are you talking about
a bing bong ball? Or a ping pong ball, I said.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
I said, I said a ping pong ball? What a
ping pong ball?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Stop? Say slow down a ping.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I have tangerines in my fridge right now that are
the size.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Of a ping pong ball.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
Why I want you to breathe and then say ping
pong ball.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
It's just because I put emphasis probably on pong okay,
ping pong pong ball.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Put it together, ping pong ball, perfect, ping pong ball.
I thought you were saying ping pong ball.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
No, No, I'm saying ping pong ball.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay, okay, I'm not trying to shame the way you
talk about. Sorry, keep going. Oh so anybody somebody was like, cat,
that's not true, and I was like, yeah, it is,
And so I went to Google because I was gonna
prove it.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's the size of it is the size of a
ping pong ball, A ping pong ball in a clementine
orange are not the same. She brought an orange that
like a clementine that.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Was like a little cutie.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It's at least double the size of a can we
get the size of a clementine orange. I think that
they they vary. There are some that she brought. But
my point is she brought a big one. She brought
one that was not the size of a bing bong ball,
So then you're a long. She brought like a naval orange. No, no,
she brought a clementine, but it was double the size
(18:02):
of a ping pong heay.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Well, she just picked up a big one. But I
do think they have smaller ones.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
My point is if she thought that the eyeball was
the size of a ping pong ball, she would have
brought us a ping pong ball. She was saying, the
eyeball is huge. It's bigger than you thought it was.
This is how big it right? Right?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (18:17):
So I believed her because she's I went to her training.
I trusted her. I was paying her a lot of money,
and she got me.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
So do you think she meant after you peel it,
because sometimes when you remove the skin, what's actually left
is smaller.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
If she thought it was after you peeled it, then
she would have said, your eyeball is the size of
a clementine after you peel it, okay, or she would
have just.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So clementines are small, such as fruits, generally about two
inches in diameter.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
So double the size because a.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Ping pong ball it was like one inch, right.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
It's one yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, So I don't know if she meant I think
she really thinks that. So I don't know who told
her that, But I learned a lesson that I even
if I learned something from a trusted person, I should
really critically think about it before I put it on
a podcast.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Or that's why we fact check everything here.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
We're going to start now. We should have like you
know you do.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I'm about to tell you how long a juror has okay,
but or a.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Jury you know how on Armchair Expert they do fact
check at the end of every episode episode. We should
allow ourselves that grace because sometimes we say things and
I wanted the chance to clear this up. Thank you
guys for being with me on this Clementine journey. Yeah,
we might have to start fact checking.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Although I think size of this very but she did
have one there as a demo that was too big.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
You really want her to because have.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
You ever seen sometimes at Chipotle do you go did
Chipotle get the kid's meal and it comes with a
fruit cup or a bagg of chips and you get
fruit cup and it's a little teeny tiny orange that
fits in the cup.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's it's the size of a ping bob pole.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
But my point with that is that's not the size
she brought us.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Okay, I know, but if you were then saying that online,
I don't think that you sounded that offze. It's not
like you were online holding a big orange would be like,
this is.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
The size of you're kind of finding me.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, Like I'm saying, like, I don't think you you
came off as a scammer moron.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, Yeah, well you weren't trying to.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
I didn't feel like I was a moron.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It was more so like I got got like I
was a gullible and I should have thought more critically
about that. So I will now be thinking more critically
with Google before I share those kinds of facts.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
So, speaking of Google and Shannon, thank you. Now we
know there is no fixed time for a jury. There's
no specific number of hours or days after which a
jury automatically becomes a hung jury. The judge ultimately decides
if the jury is deadlocked, and further deliberation won't lead
to a verdict, which you did see at the end
(20:55):
of the documentary won't say exactly what the judge says,
but I watched that part twice actually, because I was like, wait,
what are the judge just said?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I'm not going to do that to y'all.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Okay, So can I be honest about something? What I
don't think I saw like the last twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And you didn't see the last twenty minutes, and you're
saying she's guilty.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, I fell asleep, and then I I Patrick said
you didn't see the last twenty minutes, and I was like,
I think I got it, So maybe.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I'll go back and watch that far.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that either one of
us would be good on a jury.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Your hair looks good today.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Why what I do? Does it because I crimped.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
It or I did the I had that Little Mermaid
the three prong or it's called three barrel clamper.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I was just trying to give you a compliment. Oh
and you were one of the why So I read
this article from Psychology Today last weekend, and it was
talking about why flattery is so difficult for women specifically
to consume. So I was seeing how you were when
you took compliments and you that was me?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Why, Yeah, that's pretty much what I do. So, oh,
your makeup looks good? Why or you'd be like, oh no,
or I like your outfit.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Why is that what you usually say?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Why?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
I don't really know I got it on sale or this?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Well, I've had it forever. I always say if somebody
says I like your shirt, oh thanks, it was unclear
into his five dollars.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
Like sometimes I say.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That even if it wasn't on sale.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Why.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
What a weird thing?
Speaker 5 (22:23):
I think sometimes I have to have like.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
It in a bad way, but like it's just that's
an odd Uh.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I know, I'm a liar. I'm a liar now, I
think I get so.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I don't think you're a liar. That's a lie. If
I didn't get on sale, I told you I got
it on sale, that's a lie. I'm a liar.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, that is weirdy weird liar.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So I think I do that because I don't know
how to just receive that. It just like feels like
that can't be true. In this article confirmed that it
was talking about how it brings about this thing called
cognitive dissonance.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
You know what I mean, I say, I think two things.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Are not able to like sit in our brain, right,
I believe like if I think my outfit's ugly, or
if I think that I can't dress well, or if
I have some negative belief about me and what I
look like.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Or your hair.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Do you have some thoughts about your hair lately?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Yeah, I felt like it's a little frizzy.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But yeah, so exactly, So you can't receive that because
it goes against what I'm already believing.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Oh yeah, so if there's a disconnect.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yes, And I think also they were saying that paired
with women are taught to be like modest and not
to be like boastful, so we don't also want to
accept that because it feels like almost like prideful. We
need to be more humble.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Oh that's you're just trying to be humble. Thanks, got
it on sale.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I think that's part of it, Like, oh, I can't
be like, oh, I know I love it. Like what
if you said if I say I like your hair
and you were like, I know I love it today?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
That would feel weird, right, Yeah, I can.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Hear it depends on the day or the outfit, because
like I was at iHeart country festival the other night,
and I was obsessed with my outfit, like.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I loved it, and so yeah, when people will compliment,
I would say, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Ay, although a few people.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Were like, it looks like you maybe need to get
some mothballs because like a moth.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Was eating at your car.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Was it a guy that said that?
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Multiple men?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yeah, y' all circulating the mothball joke like around backstage.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
But that's some I feel like my dad would always
say if you had jeans with holes in him, he'd like,
did you pay extra for those holes? That's such a dad,
And you're like, he still will say it, Yeah I did.
If he saw a picture, I'll show him a I'm
gonna send him a picture of your outfit and see
what he says. Okay, oh, say I wonder if she
paid extra for those holes?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yeah, okay, I did.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Can you tell him she did so?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
But I did feel confident that night in my outfit.
I didn't so much love. My hair was like this too.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I don't know why I keep doing this way, but
it felt a little frizzy to me, and I was
feeling a little self.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
I loved you, I told you. I liked your hair
in the high pony.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Oh, thank you, good job. I'm a quick learner.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, well, I have some tips for how to accept compliments.
But I thought this was very interesting from this article.
And also I want to mention this article was written
by Lindsay Goodwin. So thank you Lindsay for this article.
I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
She's a PhD.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
She is a doctor.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I only see that here in the notes. I don't
have no idea what this is. I just see the headline,
and I had no idea you were about to compliment
me or you needed that.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
You were like, that was your intro into this. Because
I have no idea why. I was like.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Why, I think you were thrown off because I randomly
said that.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So just some insider baseball is Kat and I. We
have our little iPads here, which we're obsessed with. We
love that we got like iPads, don't you feel more professional?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yes? I tried to use this iPad at work because
I got the pencil thing and I thought this would
be a great thing to take notes with because I
felt like I would feel so like, oh let me
get my notes out. It's a little distracting it's too loud.
It's loud, and I feel like this is too professional.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
For it feels like linical.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yes, yes, as and you want to be like a
warm suppose vibe yeah, not clinician.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, like yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
So anyway, we have our nifty little iPads and we
have a Google doc and Cat and I both add
to it, so like we'll have the date of the
episode and we'll just throw in like headlines or things
like all I see here is like how I knew
to say, Cat, you got scammed? All I see here
is Cat got scammed. But I had no idea what
it was about. Yeah, you know, yeah, that's and and
(26:32):
and my color is blue, and Cat's color is purple.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
And wait, what's green? Oh that's Shannon.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Shannon's green.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
So while we're talking, Shannon's over there, you know, looking
up things like the size of clementines, so that we can,
you know, teach you things here. We're trying to educate you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Did you make purple my color? Because purple's my favorite color? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Okay, back to the facts. I thought this was very
interesting before I give you the tips. It was talking
about how well a study found that women deflected or
minimized compliments from men sixty percent of the time when
the compliment winner was a woman. I'm going to ask
you this, since you haven't read this, do you think
they rejected it more or less if it was from
(27:17):
So when a compliment was given by a man to
a woman, the women rejected the compliment sixty percent of
the time when the compliment was given by a woman
to a woman. How often do you think they do
you think it was higher like one hundred percent, seventy
eight percent?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Okay, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Why?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I don't know why. It's maybe just because women in
general are more likely to feel like they need to
be modest.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
I guess a woman a woman.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
But I found that was very interesting that I'm going
to accept it from Maybe we feel like we can
be more honest with women, like I don't know, yeah,
how I just thought it was an interesting fact.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
We're safe, feel more safe.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Okay, So I'm going to give you three tips to
accept compliments because I know that I can use these,
and it.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Sounds like you can't.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I definitely can.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And she said, why it matters? Accepting compliments isn't just
about boosting your ego. It's about fostering connection, which to
that it is when you give somebody a compliment. I'm like,
oh my gosh, you did such a good job on
that report that you gave in school. That's okay, let
(28:25):
me start off. Was that a compliment to me? I
don't know where I was going with that. Let me
try again.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Okay, try again.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Oh my gosh, you did so good hosting I heeart
this weekend.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
You were just because I wasn't technically Howstbobby was. I
was just there doing I mean I I did some
things on Hulu and then I did.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Some radio stuff, but yeah, he was the host. So
you're already giving me I did a couple of stage hits.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Can I finish my compliment?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Yeah, we're playing.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
It's what you did there good.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I know exactly what I was doing there. Yeah, I
was just letting you know.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
You really don't want to accept my complimentage, Okay, thank you.
So when you do that, it creates like a disconnect
between somebody I'm trying to connect with you saying like,
oh my gosh, I saw some clips that you posted.
You look like you said such a good job.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Okay, if you're like, oh my gosh, it was horrible
blah blah blah, that is like, okay, never mind, So
I'm trying to connect with you. And a lot of
times when people give compliments, whether or not they mean
them or not, it's a point of connection to start
a conversation.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
There are actually tips that people will give, like.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Small talk experts or just relationship experts in general say,
start with something common. You can go up and share
a positive note to somebody to start a conversation.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
So when we.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Don't accept it or receive it, we're robbing them of
the opportunity to connect with us and in ourselves too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
So imagine somebody new comes up to you and it's like,
oh my gosh, girl, I love your jacket, and you're like, oh,
that's so ugly. Now where do we go? Yeah, like
never mind. So just be open to conversation is a
huge part of that. So why it matters. It's a
way to connect with people. When we brush them off,
we dis miss the other person's thoughts, and learning to
(30:11):
accept praise can rewrite those negative stories in our head.
So if I think like, oh I don't know how
to dress, I have such bad style. Well, the more
we deflect the compliments, the more we're gonna make that
story true. The more we accept it, we're like, oh, she.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Likes my outfit. She likes my outfit.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
She likes my outfit.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Maybe I know how to dress.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
My outfit is awesome. I've been trying to read write
that story in my head. In the morning is when
I'm getting ready for work. I've been saying over and
over because I don't feel like I get dressed with ease,
and I don't I want to be like a little
more creative with my outfits, and I just feel like
I don't know how to put things together the way
that I would like. So in the mornings, right when
I I start this little mantra, like I go down
(31:02):
the kitchen, I make my coffee, and I'm like, I
put on my clothes with these. I put on my
clothes with these.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I go into my closet and it is so easy
for me to fake out clothes.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I go, you know, I just do that, keep going, yeah,
that I am creative with my clothes.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
And then I put on a tan top jeans.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Okay, I was gonna say, that's so interesting because I
was actually talking to Patrick about I was like, I
feel like Amy always has something cute on on my record,
and I never know what to wear. So I was
complimenting you without you around. But it's just interesting that
you think that, but I think the opposite.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Oh see, I think you look cute and I love
your headband.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Thinks I'm trying something new. I accepted you did it good?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Yeah, you were like, thanks, I got it on sale,
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
I paid full price, so, to be honest, the only
reason I bought it is because it wasn't sale. Yeah,
that's not a lie. I told kat that earlier. Just
because you told her that earlier doesn't make it.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
It was target was to sale. Prove check it. I'll
show you my receipt.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, okay, receipt or it didn't happen, Okay, I'll show
it to you later.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
That's so funny that that's like your lie.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I don't think I always lie, but I've just caught
myself before, and I'm like, why did I just tell
my God, I.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I'd be like, no, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, I'm just kidding.
I don't know why I said that. I'm a liar.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
They were like okay, like not looking for connection with
you anymore, that's for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I don't want people to think that I lie to them.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
In general, I get it like it's a you're trying,
it's you're uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I will never do it again saying it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
So do you want three tips to accept compliments? Yes? Okay.
The first one, just say thank you and pause. Okay,
so thank you and then in your head say paus pause, pause, pause, pause.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I can imagine people going thank you pause, like they
say that part out loud.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Okay, so just think you pause?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Why because this allows the other person to now connect
with you more.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well, I think that is a like an addition to
what it brings, because if I'm not feeling that space
and they can be like where did you get it?
Or they can add something else to whatever compliment they're
giving you. But the pause really is and why I said,
say it in your brain, it's removing that instinct to
give the disclaimer. So oh, like, let's if it wasn't
about my outfit. You did really great on your report
(33:31):
that you gave in class. Oh no, I messed up.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
I forgot this whole part and blah blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
You go on and on and on and on and on and
on when you don't have to do that, so it
takes that spot away.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Oh I have an example too of sometimes we I
don't know if this is related at all.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
Okay, let's see, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Welcome to my brain.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
But how sometimes we make things about us when it's
not about us. Where because it is related? Because someone
was trying to give me a compliment saying I did
something well well, and this was actually at iHeart. I
was doing this hit for Hulu because it's streaming live
on Hulu, and we do artist interviews backstage, and it's
really chaotic back there. It's loud, there's a lot going on.
You have a teleprompter and there's sometimes you have to
(34:12):
vamp and what's vamp like a they call it an accordion,
uh segment, But you vamp for however long, maybe thirty seconds,
like you just have to talk talk talk. There's nothing
on the teleprompter. It's like what was on the prompter
with sixty seconds. But now the truck, so the trucks
are outside, you know, like news trucks where they like
do all the editing and streaming, so the Hulu truck
(34:34):
was outside, so they say, the guys in the truck say,
now we need thirty more seconds, so you need to
just vamp, or you need we need sixty more seconds,
or sometimes even god forbid, two minutes, which feels like
eternity in vamp world. So you know going into it
that you may have an accordion section, so you kind
of have some stories in your mind.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
But there was a.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Situation where he was setting holding up his iPad with
thirty more seconds, but he put it to the right
of the camera and when really under the camera would
have been an easier spot for me to see, so
I couldn't see. Otherwise I'm like gazing off camera, and
I kind of thought the vamping was over and it wasn't,
so then I had to keep going and I was
(35:18):
stumbling my words.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Well, when we got done, the guy with the headset
he was listening to the truck and I saw him
make some face and I instantly was like, oh, I suck.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
I didn't handle that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Well, like I messed up, and that he made this
face and da da dah. Well, then my girl, Elizabeth,
you know Buzzio she sent me a text when I
like twelve hours later, because I guess she talked to
some people and she said, hey, by the way, I
know you got real worked up, but I got worked up,
and I let it almost impact my performance for the
rest of the night because of his face. And I'm like, no, no,
I saw his face, like they're disappointed. That was horrible.
(35:53):
And she said that the truck had said something completely
different to him, it had nothing to do with me,
and he made the face, and he also was mad
at himself for putting it to the side and not underneath,
and like the truck sent a whole apology to Elizabeth
to forward to me, and they said, let Amy know
that was one hundred percent our fault and we take responsibility.
And but it did sort of derail some of my
(36:15):
performance the rest of the night because and I'm reading
a prompter on the main stage, and if you start
to get nervous, fumbled, and you're all in your head,
you're more likely to mess up more. So I had
to like really use the power of thought to like
push that face that he made out of my brain.
But the rest of the night I definitely still thought
(36:35):
it was about me. Until twelve hours later when she
texted me and she was like, Amy, that had nothing
to do with you, And I was like, oh, well.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Gosh darn it, I made it about I made it
about me.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
And so it's just a reminder to like, don't make
up stories, right, you know, we talk about that part,
but then also receive the compliment, because at the time
Elizabeth is like standing side shage. She's like, I saw
the whole thing you did great, but I was so
worked up about his face that I couldn't receive her compliment.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
So this is going to tie into another one of
our tips.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
Boom see, I knew, thank you. I knew it was relatable.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So consider the evidence is a second tip. When you
want to downplay the compliment, take a second and consider
the evidence. People with lower self esteem, or if you
just are like anxious or have low self esteem about
one thing, self conscious about one thing, they tend to
paint themselves with a broad stroke brush, which is like
(37:26):
all or nothing, black and white thinking. So when Sony
gives you a compliment about something, consider the evidence for
that compliment versus.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
The evidence against it.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
So you were thinking about all the negative stuff versus wait,
considering all the circumstances, I did a pretty good job
with what I was vamping, vamping if I had to vamp.
Sometimes when you say filibuster when we're recording, I'm like,
I have nothing in my brain, Like it just goes blank.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
So I definitely fumbled, But I mean I think that's
to be expected. And a lot they're like, look, you
had to like juggle, you handled it well, but I
couldn't receive that.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
But I feel like you always handle it well.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Thank you you yeah, post post post pust pause, You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
The last tip is revisit your compliments later. I thought
this was interesting.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Like with yourself, bear with me, this feels weird.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Maybe keep a compliment journal. No way, so see it
feels so wrong, but this is why it's not.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
Be open.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
I need you to be open.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
Can you just give me an open?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Thank you give me an open You're giving me bad
body language. Be open.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Cry Okat's like I'm I'm gonna tattoo the ma my body.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Cat is like, can you actually send me some compliments
later so I can put them in my journal?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
The thing is words of words of affirmation. Is that's
my love language like, I like words of affirmation.
Speaker 5 (38:53):
Why is it weird for you to give them to yourself?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Well, you weren't saying that.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I thought you were saying, keep a compliment journal of
compliment you've heard from other people?
Speaker 5 (38:59):
Why is that bad?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
What I'm not saying it's bad. If somebody else wants
to do it, I love that for them. I don't
see myself at night being like, huh, today Kat saying
my report.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
My hair looked pretty. So this is gonna help me?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Okay, fine, I need to do it because I think
I have I don't know that I have low self esteem,
but it's it can dabble down there.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I can dabble in the low self esteem. It can hang.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Low at times, but I've really been working on it
so well.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
We all have things that were self conscious of, yeah,
and all the things that we're insecure about. So I
guess I was being on a little bit judgmental of you.
What makes you so off put by the idea of
a compliment journal?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Will you want me to take inventory of compliments I
received throughout the day and you want me to write
them down at night? That just does not sound like
something I could do. But I will try what's off putting,
it feels weird, it feels wrong, it feels wrong, and
self adulger.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Yeah yeah, but that is what what are you trying
to say? Yeah, okay, So that speaks to the beginning
of this article is talking about how women were taught
to downplay their success and we're taught to be humble.
We're taught to like not be self indungent, indulgent, and
(40:24):
to accept a compliment that feels the opposite. So this
is retraining your brain to one be able to receive that. No,
it's okay for me to like know that people think
this about me. Also, it's okay if I think this
is a this about me. But outside of that part,
it's good for you to see that because when we
neglect them, even when we're doing the pause thing and
(40:47):
our brain we might still be like no, pause no, like,
we might still also be having.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
That war in our brain.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
So if we're writing them down and we are your words,
taking inventory of them, it gives us a chance to
let that sink in and then we get to if
we're having Okay, the best gift I ever received you Actually, well,
I was thinking about this because you asked us at
a dinner party months ago when I met Alex. We
did conversation cards and one of the questions you asked
(41:16):
us what's the best gift you ever received? And I froze.
It almost was like I was feeling you're asking me
to vamp. I froze and I said.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
Do you remember what I said?
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I'm stuck on what Gracie said, because Gracie and Rudin
was there too, and that's when we learned that Gracie
was the high school mascot.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
And that's when I learned that Patrick was his mascot.
I didn't know that he had so cats.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Husband and Gracie were both the high school mascot, So
then I don't that's the That's my big takeaway from
that night is the story Gracie.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
I know, hilarious, So we'll revisit that later. But so now,
I don't remember your answer to your question.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I said this journal that my mom and dad thought
me the invisible one that had invisible black light pen
that was my which that gift was cool.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
I feel like that is cool, but.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
My favorite gift, I know.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I don't know why I didn't think this My favorite
gift I know it is, and that's why I ended
up giving it to you. Was my sister gave me
a blessing jar. This is my birthday, right after I
went through a really bad breakup where I was like
knocking out of bed. I cried every day, and she
had all my best friends write down ways that I'm
(42:26):
a blessing to them in their life, and then she
put them in a jar and we went to dinner.
She gave it to me, and I was a puddle
of tears, but like happy, grateful tears, and that blessing
jar I still have.
Speaker 5 (42:36):
I keep it in my bathroom. I don't read them
all the time.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I used to every once in a while when I
was still trying to build myself back up in that
time would read like one a day, and that helped
me build my self esteem back up after I'd gone
through this horrible, horrible experience. And I still have it
because I think it's okay for me to acknowledge how
other people view me in a positive way.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yes, and I love that you gave me that too.
I love my blessing jar. I have it in my
closet so when i's just nice to know it's struggling
to get dressed. I do care it in my closet.
It's in a little like a nook area with like
jewelry and whatnot. But I have my blessing jar, and
I think that's great. That's notes coming from other people.
I think it was just me documenting at the end
(43:20):
of the day, writing it down. But I do get
the whole exercise. It's kind of even different. We're gonna
have to agree to disagree on this. Listen, I'll do
this activity for you, this assignment, or I'll try it.
But then this is one of the things. If something
happens to me, you burn it. I cannot have someone
finding my journal of.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Me writing down all the compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Can you imagine on it there's like a documentary about
your life. And they're like, And when we went through
a closet, we found a journal where she wrote every.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Compliment anybody ever gave her. Cat said I had beautiful
hair today. The other cat told me that I looked
good on camera during the Country Croc post, Shannon told me,
and that's all it was.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Don't think that would be negative. I think people are like,
she must have been working on her mental Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Now they're gonna think that for sure, just on this podcast.
Then they'll know this is what she was doing. It
was an assignment, or maybe I put that at the
beginning of the journal. This is an assignment from Kat.
I don't want to do this. I hate this. If
anybody finds this, this is homework for my mental health, sincerely, Amy.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
If that gets you to do it, I'm fine, perfect, Yeah, Okay, I.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
Can get it.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Shannon said that keeping birthday cards or notes from family
and friends that say something nice, if you keep those around.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Then you reread them and.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
You come across them, and that can be very helpful
for Yeah, so it's sort of the same thing as
like the blessing jar.
Speaker 5 (45:01):
But y'all, do you keep your cards?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I have a shoe box full of some of them, Yeah,
like from way of them. Some I don't know what
determines when I keep it or when I don't.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I wonder if any of my cards are in there.
Probably I probably haven't even given you a card. I
and notoriously don't put cards in gifts.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
Yeah. Cat loves cards.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
I like getting them.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
The other cry ocat Sometimes I'm like, oh a card. Yeah,
y'all need different names. Therapy cat, cryocat, that's what I
call y'all.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But oh she's okay, ye wait, who calls you Catherine?
Speaker 4 (45:34):
That's what she calls herself.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
Sometimes Catherine's a different person.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
She'll be like, Catherine's tired of this.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Patrick calls me Catherine, and I'm like in trouble, but
I don't tell us more. Well, the other day, Catherine's
been a bad, bad car. What do you call him?
Right into the.
Speaker 5 (46:03):
Would I call him when he's a bad boy?
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You?
Speaker 5 (46:07):
Dirty?
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Dirty Tom? No?
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Well, his full name he is Patrick.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like if if he was called pat people call him Patty,
but I don't.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
Call him that, Patrick van Buren, Patrick, Thomas Patrick.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
You know what my mom called me when I got
in trouble as a kid.
Speaker 5 (46:23):
What have I not told you this?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Katherine Mary, Elizabeth, Francis, Sally, Brittany, Defada, get your butt down.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Why are there so many middle names?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
She said one day she started adding names when she
was mad at me, and that's what she would call me.
And I was in trouble.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
Katherine Mary, Mary, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Francis, Francis, Sally, Sally, Brittany, Brittany, If.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Not as a mom. I can barely get like one
kid's name straight.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
Well, yeah, okay, had a lot. Maybe she'd loved me more.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
That is a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
I love that. That's funny. Your mom's funny.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
If you're listening, Hi, Kat's Hi, Catherine, Elizabeth, Brittany, Tina Defadas.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Now are you adding on? Yeah? I have a question.
Actually this is on topic but kind of off. Have
you seen that trend on TikTok that goes into like
all the different names people call you?
Speaker 4 (47:15):
Oh no, it is, yes, I've seen great.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
So I want to know what your like nicknames are, Like,
does your sister call you something?
Speaker 5 (47:20):
She calls you seister?
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
Is there another name called bbb? Okay, so what are
all your names?
Speaker 1 (47:26):
We Bb to my sister and her kids, where does
that come from? That's my my niece was the first
one born, my sister's first kid.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And I don't know.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
Her middle name's Elizabeth.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
My middle name is Elizabeth, and I think like maybe
Christy was trying to do like an Ebby thing or Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (47:43):
I don't know, bb came out with her first. I
don't know if it's like not quite sure.
Speaker 5 (47:47):
Okay, So no real story there.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, I love to.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
Ask, but I think I had something to do with
like Elizabeth.
Speaker 5 (47:53):
Okay, but BB, I love the name Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
Thanks, is that really one of yours?
Speaker 2 (48:00):
So? What is your real my certificate?
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Yes, which which of those names are on my?
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I know what it is?
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Hold on? I know your middle name?
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (48:09):
No, Mary, Well, Marie wasn't in the names that I
just listed.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Katherine, Mary.
Speaker 5 (48:16):
My sister's middle name is Marie.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Yeah, you're m A R y Katherine, Marie defauda No, Mary,
that's what I meant.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Okay, you said Marie. She said Marie, But you just
said Marie.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
I said Mary. But then no, you just said Marie.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
I know, roll back to the table. I know I did,
but I said Mary. Alex saying you're uber and your
ubber or whatever he called it uber you.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
He's like, we need to order a you buber And
I was like, you mean uber. He's like, that's what
I said, so that I know, but I meant Mary. Well,
he met uber, but he said you were. You said okay,
any whatever, I want.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
You know their names.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
BB.
Speaker 4 (48:57):
My pastor calls me Ames.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
That's cute. What if you made the real and you're
like Aimes to my pastor.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
Like anybody that call it, But some people call me.
My boyfriend's son calls me amster.
Speaker 5 (49:11):
Cute the twelve year old that's cute.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
Yeah, I'd be like, uh, amster.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
I feel like that's something that like a dad would
call you two, like, hey, amster, how you doing?
Speaker 4 (49:22):
Growing up? My neighbor, my neighbor was Jill.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Her mom was Susan. Our moms were friends, and she
always called me famous amos. And I saw her when
my cousin's mom passed away a couple of years ago.
That's the last time I saw her was at that funeral,
and she's still she's like, famous Amos.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
How's it going? Because you know there's this famous amous cookies.
Speaker 5 (49:43):
Yes, they're so good.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (49:45):
So I'm trying to think that I don't know that
I have any other nicknames.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
That's enough. That's a lot.
Speaker 5 (49:49):
You can make one of those reels. See if he
goes viral.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Who don't really? My pastor amos to my mom's friends, cousins, sisters,
my neighbor, neighbor, she was ready ever growing up Because
I'm like, yeah, I don't know that I am like
what your friends in high school called you. Amy.
Speaker 5 (50:05):
You have a short name, so I think it's harder
to have a nickname for a short name.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
Amsy amsy.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
Ams is her name.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
To cry okat, I am princess.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
Wait, funny reel If you did it.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So frantic, I know, but that would kind of be
like what you called when you're making like a spoof
of something to satire, it would make satire. Aims to
my pastor, as I know.
Speaker 4 (50:34):
To my kids, I'm mom.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
What it is, But you have to make this reel? Now,
this is funny. So how would I do it? I
would say, from Amy to the government.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Okay, so the government. I'm Amy to my kids, I
am Mom to my sister and her kids. I'm Beattie
to my pastor. I'm Aims.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
To my neighbor growing up.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
I just to my friend Cat, I am princess. I
think it's funny you put it on TikTok because TikTok
you can do whatever you want there.
Speaker 5 (51:17):
It's like posting stuff. Nobody cares. I think it's funny.
Speaker 4 (51:20):
Actually did it on TikTok because our feeling things is
on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
Okay okay, okay, what are yours?
Speaker 5 (51:26):
Mine aren't?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Is good? I, well, it's debatable.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
They probably are better.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
So Catherine to some of my family, Cat to my
other some of my family and friends after college Cat
Catherine to Little Jesus to friends from college fraternity parties.
(51:53):
Little that was my.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
Nickname in college.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
They called me Kitty Cat, and then they called me
Little Jesus, and then it went to LJ. I that's
what people like afratornity parties would call me. Well J.
I was very religious my freshman year of college, and
I was like the chaplain of our sorority. I was
like very into Little Jesus. So I was like, why
did none of the guys ever try to take me
home freshman year?
Speaker 5 (52:14):
Probably because I.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
Would be called Little Jesus.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
Oh, I don't want to think about reason my freshman
child being taken home.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Well, I didn't mean it like that, Like why didn't
the guys, why weren't they buying me drinks? Mean it
that way? You just said it that way?
Speaker 4 (52:32):
Got a liar rolled the tape.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Liar like I got it on tail. Okay, I wouldn't
have probably gone home with them, but I wanted to
be invited. Yeah, like we just want to get asked,
want to try to? No, I don't. Okay, moving on
LJ and the Kitty Cat and.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
Years are better then.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Some of my friends call me cat, but like as
a joke, the guys from high school called me Kath.
Speaker 4 (53:05):
Which well I just thought it one from grade school?
What was it, motormouth Moffitt, that.
Speaker 5 (53:12):
Has to go on there.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
Yeah, it was my maiden name.
Speaker 4 (53:15):
And that's also remember because don't you remember when I
ran for treasure in fourth grade?
Speaker 2 (53:21):
I wasn't there, so I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (53:24):
I know, but I've told you this story.
Speaker 5 (53:25):
I don't remember. I'm just kidding, Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Obviously we've experienced a lot of life together at this point,
or a lot of stories, so like we can't remember everything.
Speaker 5 (53:33):
Yeah, thanks for that. Do you want to share this?
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (53:36):
I ran for treasure. I didn't make it, Thank god.
Money would have you.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Would the name machines would be free. Is that what
you said?
Speaker 4 (53:47):
Vote for Amy Moffatt? You can't top it? And I
had dollar bills all over it.
Speaker 5 (53:51):
Oh cute.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
They didn't vote mine for me. My nickname in middle
school was Catherine A lotta defada, So when they did,
like the morning announcements and read like the stats from
like the soccer games, same like and four stops from
Katherine a lotta Defada because you were stopping the ball
Alata a lotta And my last name was Defada. I
(54:13):
aunt Kat to my nieces and nephews. I don't have
any like cool names.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
I think Little Jesus takes the cakes. L J for sure, LJ. Yeah,
all right, well LJ. Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Well, they can find me on Instagram at kat van Buren.
They can find us on Instagram at Feeling Things podcasts.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Yeah, and then I am at Radio Amy And before
we close, we're gonna get to our email.
Speaker 5 (54:39):
It's not your part.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
Oh sorry, I see I already forgot that. It's ok
and you won't mean to remember the question you answered
back in January?
Speaker 5 (54:50):
What question did I ask you?
Speaker 2 (54:51):
And you said earlier?
Speaker 1 (54:52):
Mir were like, remember we played that game. Then I
met your boyfriend and we asked like tons of questions.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
And you forgot that.
Speaker 5 (54:57):
Okay, ready, Okay, So now it's time for the part
of the show Monday.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Guys, we're gonna get this down. We're still only in
our second month.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Did you watch Veggie Tails some when I was like,
any ing, Oh, you guys watched it right. Well, when
I said now it's time of the part of the show,
this isn't gonna make any sense to you because in
the show it goes and now it's time for silly
songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry
sings a silly song, and it sounded the same, you know.
Speaker 4 (55:25):
Yeah, No, I'm telling you, I did watch it when
I nannied kids, so I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 5 (55:29):
Well, you made it seem like it was loserrous.
Speaker 4 (55:31):
No, I was making it seem that I'm older than you.
Speaker 5 (55:33):
Ok Okay, So it's okay, But it was cool that
I was.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Actually slight dig at my age.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
Okay. I just want you to tell me it was
cool that I watched it. It was cool, Okay.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
Veggie tales, veggie tales, veggie tales.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
Veggee tails.
Speaker 5 (55:49):
See, I know.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Sweet.
Speaker 5 (55:51):
Okay. Now ready, are you ready for the Email of
the day?
Speaker 2 (55:58):
That was really good?
Speaker 5 (55:59):
Okay, wait, I'm not supposed to say that. You want
me to do it again? Yeah, now it's time for
the Email of the Day.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Hi was listening to your recent podcast and wanted to
drop a note saying that I am a male listener
in Montana. I have been a longtime Bobby Bone show listener.
Speaker 4 (56:17):
And love lov in all caps.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
This new podcast for y'all great content that I can
relate to, and I think it's hitting a much needed
area of content that is overlooked. Keep up the good
work on positive vibes. Pete from Montana wants me to
journal Pete things that we're relatable in a much needed
(56:43):
area that's overlooked.
Speaker 4 (56:44):
So thank you, Pete.
Speaker 1 (56:45):
And we should get a bell for like you know,
like every time you know this, an angel gets their
wings or whatever, and we get a little bell that's
like every male listener we get. We're like, wait, that's
a great idea because I think now we have like
with Pete's thirteen, No, we're up to it least thirteen.
Speaker 4 (57:01):
So we're growing with our male listeners.
Speaker 5 (57:04):
And thanks for the email.
Speaker 1 (57:05):
And so if every male listener, all thirteen of you,
could just pass this episode or any episode the whole
podcast to the show, pass it on to your one
mail that you know, then we're up to twenty six.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, it can be like a pass it in an
email chain and say if you don't forward this to
four of your friends, you will die. And if you,
if you do pass it to four of your friends,
just some dimmer like we'll show up in your right.
Speaker 4 (57:32):
That's true, sincerely, little Jesus.
Speaker 5 (57:36):
Right, yes, if Jesus says it, then it must be true. Okay,
that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
Okay, all right, Well have thed you need to have.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
Bye,
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking m brother, ladies and felts.
We just follow Anna spirit where it's all the front
over real stuff, tell the chill stuff and him.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
But Swayne.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Sometimes the best thing you can do it just.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Stop you feel things.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm
Kat and our feeling of the day.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
I'm ringing the feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Okay, it is I feel relief because my boyfriend met
my ex husband.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Check.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Well, I don't know the story.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
So my daughter had a birthday and we all went
out to eat. I didn't tell you this part. Alex,
we've said his.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Name, okay, okay.
Speaker 5 (00:55):
Alex was with you.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
Well, no, sheer invited him.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
My daughter said he could, but he had not met
her dad, my ex husband, And he said, it's her birthday.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
I don't want that to.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Be like a overshadow overshadow her birthday because not that
it totally would, but we just didn't Eve want to
run the risk of that. He said, how about after
her dinner, all stop by the house and he did
that my in laws, my ex in laws, were in
town though I still call them my in laws, but
they're my ex in laws, and they were coming by
(01:30):
my house because they gave me a ride to the dinner.
And then at dinner I talked to Ben about how, hey,
Alex is going to be coming by the house.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
It was like, why don't you stop by?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Your parents gonna be coming, and then I don't know
if you had something to pick up or drop off.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I don't know. Because this happened.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
My relief is I've been able to exhale for the
last like, I don't know, a week and a half,
two weeks now, So this happened a minute ago, which
is so funny that we haven't talked about it. But
I think sometimes we hold off stuff because well, we
know we're going to record it for the podcast, or
we talk about other things. So my exhale is like
I just feel relief, like it it felt so good
(02:07):
to have it go well, and I guess in my
mind I was like, I don't know how this is
ever going to go or what it's going to be like,
and it's going to be so awkward, And it wasn't
awkward at all.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
And so what was.
Speaker 5 (02:16):
It like, like did he come to the door and who?
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Well, first of all, Ben always comes to the back door,
but this day he came to the front door, and
I think he just thought.
Speaker 4 (02:26):
Yeah, and I'm like, what are you doing? Like you
always come through the back.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
So he came to the front door, knocked, and I'm like,
I knew you were coming over and your parents are here,
just walk in. So he knocked and then he came in,
and then Alex is already talking to his parents.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
So they met.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
So Alex met my ex inlaws okay, and my ex
husbin and he walks in and they both just like
lean towards each other with like a firm grip.
Speaker 4 (02:54):
Yeah, Cryocat was here.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
It was like this very firm like, like the firmest like.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
And then it was first name, last name, both of them.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, and he was like, hey, I'm boom Beam and
He's like not.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Not, you know, I'm sorry. I don't think I've ever
introduced myself as Catherine Defotta to anybody or van Be okay.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
So we can act it out with our names.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I could be like if I walked in your your
say I always came in your back door, but today
I come to your front door. And then I walk
in and with a very firm him shake, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Hey, Amy Brown, Catherine van Buren, No.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
You need Cat vaan Buren, Cat van Buren shake?
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Wait wait what if? What if?
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Then introduced himself and I was like, just so you
can remember his name?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I don't think I'll have trouble forgetting it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
But that is that's such a dude thing of like,
oh my first name and my last name.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yes, for both of them. Like I was like, what
I was sitting? I was like, what is going on
just now? It was very interesting to see men in
their natural habitat.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
What did they say after they said it.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
Was they just started touching casual Alex.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
They had Alex do a mutual friend of Ben's, and
Ben had just put on this awesome charity event for
foster kids like that week. That's why his parents were
in town, and then it was to Shear's birthday, so
they stayed in town for that as well. But Alex
asked him how the event went, and Ben was sort
of like, how how did you know about that? He's like, oh,
my friend was going And then they talked about the
(04:44):
night and Alex said like, oh, yeah, well, congratulations, that's
really awesome, and it was a very normal I just
you know, that exhale, that relief, and so the gift
of relief is something stressful or.
Speaker 4 (04:56):
Painful has ended or east.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yes, and not that it was painful, but I did
have a little bit of stress of like, when is
this going to happen?
Speaker 4 (05:03):
How is it going to happen?
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Because I thought maybe it would happen at a track
meet for one of the kids, but then it never
really worked out to where Alex could get there because
he's got three kids and then or at a time
when Ben was gonna be there.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
So it just never happened.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Until it did, and then I was like, yay, So
I'm glad that I get to lean into my exhale,
because without relief, if you don't let yourself sit in
the relief and feel it and like, then wins will
feel exhausting.
Speaker 4 (05:33):
Even yeah, that's what I heard, and.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It sounds like too. The biggest one of the biggest
parts of this is the unknown. It's you didn't know
how it was going to happen, and that was the
most probably consuming.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
Yeah, and I was it like it was organic.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Yet I was also able to give a heads up,
so nobody was surprised.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
Like I didn't know it would happen that night.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But at dinner, Bin and I sat by each other
and we had a really good conversation, and so I
just decided to shoot my shot and say, hey, you know,
swing by the house.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
I think Vin's Varens were probably more nervous than Vin was,
because they were like, oh, he's coming, Oh.
Speaker 4 (06:05):
He were going to meet him?
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh okay, okay, okay, And then they did and everyone
was great, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:10):
So okay. Well, also, good job Alex for meeting the
whole fam.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, wins or successful moments should feel energizing, not exhausting.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
You look energized, lean into the relief.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
And now we can go anywhere and do anything and
run into anybody and I don't have to freak out.
Speaker 4 (06:29):
And by anybody, I mean like.
Speaker 5 (06:31):
I think you would have freaked out if you ran organically.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I think if we were to organically, like if we
were to run into him.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Just at a restaurant or at the mall, I guess
it would be okay, I.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
Thank you, Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
See that's unknown it's like we build it up in
our heads, but I think you'd be able to handle.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
It, and I handled it. I handled it well, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Which speaking of my relationship, you and I were talking
on the phone before we recorded, and I had a
kind of an emotional day with my relationship, my with
my widower boyfriend, which I do want to acknowledge. Really quickly,
we got a really nice email from Lindsay, who is
a listener that also married a widower, and she sent
an email. I'm not going to read the whole thing,
(07:10):
but I did copy and paste it onto our little
doc here because I wanted to give her a shout
out because she gave me encouragement for talking.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
About my relationship the way that I.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Have, because she knows that she felt the same even
though now they're officially married.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I'm just dating one.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
But he also had kids, and she shared a little
bit of her experience becoming a stepmom, and also that
she knows there's so many other people that are going
through this and it's a different type of struggle that
not a lot of people may understand.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
So she was grateful that I was talking about it.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
So Lindsay, also, thank you for sending the email because
that gave me encouragement to also know that I'm not alone.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
And I think also you talking about it. I just
wonder if the reason a lot of people aren't talking
about these types of relationships and the struggles and them
is you don't ever want to say anything wrong because
you just wanted to be respectful in everything that you've
said when you you do talk about it, and that
keeps people because I don't know, I don't want to
say the wrong thing. So that probably did mean a
(08:09):
lot to a lot of people who.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Like, why does anybody talk about about this? So good
for you. I should be proud of yourself.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So to anybody out there dating a widower or a widow,
do you know there's a difference widowers or men and
widows or women? Really that was a long pause we're
about I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
About what I have called people. You don't call a
woman a widower, she's a widow, she's the widow. Why
does that sound sort of like.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Like, well, female male widow actor? Actress later say actor, Now,
well then maybe we progressed and it's just widow or widow, which.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
My pause was I was trying to like, but then
I'm like, I don't really use that word often, so
I don't know what I say.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I didn't know either until I started dating him.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Did you google it?
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Like?
Speaker 5 (08:59):
What do I?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, he just started calling he called himself a widower
and then yeah, I think at one point I looked
it up and saw that widower man, widow woman.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
Interesting. All right, well thanks for that.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
So but dating a widower and the emotions that come
with that sometimes. I was crying earlier today talking to
Cat about something, and I'm in a quote. Cat, Now
this is the quote of the day, She replied back
to me. Good news is your eyebrows held up through
the cry?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
They did?
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, because if you're if you're new here, I lasered
off my microbladed eyebrows and I've been drawing them on
and it takes me about ten minutes a day per
brow and they still look I'm getting faster, no total total.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
Well, they looked perfect, so you should be.
Speaker 4 (09:46):
I don't know that's faked, but well they look Also.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I think it's good.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It's funny that you were like, your brows survived the
cry when crying is from the eyes down.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Okay, I don't know how you guys cry. But when
I cry, I'm like, oh, and I like rubbing my
face I have.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I think I still have probably a makeup on my
sleeve because I was like doing this.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
You probably did a very like dainty cry. Is that
what it was like?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Cry?
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Like, I think I still have streaks in my makeup
or whatever work.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
If there is wetness, I could see it get in
my eyebrow. I'm an ugly anyway.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Quote of the day, Yeah, quote me, Yeah, quote Kat
good news. Is your eyebrows held up through the cry? Okay,
so Shannon did a little researcher. Widow is a woman
whose husband has died, while a widower is a man
whose wife has died.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
She's confirming yes.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Both terms are used to describe someone who has lost
their spouse through death and has typically not remarried. Well,
so you no longer If Alex and I get married,
is he no longer? He wouldn't be a widower anymore,
because now he's.
Speaker 5 (10:47):
No longer a husband, but he still is though he is.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
But I'm alive if I marry him.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
That means and at one time he was.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
Okay, he was a widower and now he's a husband.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Okay, we can we call it he's a wedded widower?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Why?
Speaker 4 (11:06):
Okay, Shanon's got it. Remarriage.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
While the terms are usually used when a person is
not remarried, a woman who remarries is no longer referred
to as a widow. Similarly, a man who remarries is
no longer considered a widow or the more you know.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
These are the fact.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
The more you know. Now, now you guys know how
to go into those kinds of conversations prepared. Yeah, now
you know.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
Okay, Kat, I need to know. Did you watch Body
in the Snow?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
I was waiting for you to ask me this. I
watched it and Patrick watched it. Disclaimer This is a
spoiler alert for anybody who has not watched this and
wants to watch Body in the Snow, which is a
documentary on what was on Matt Max. Okay, it's Karen Reid.
By the way, we didn't know if it was red
or read.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
Yeah, it's read.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Okay, so I can free right now that I gave
the spoiler alert. I wait, am I gonna say what
I think?
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Okay, because I do not know what you say.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
At the same time, Sure.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
We're gonna say guilty or not guilty? Okay, one, two three?
I don't you think he's guilty guilty? Oh? My really? Yes?
Really yes. Also, she is not a likable person in
that documentary. There's no likability.
Speaker 4 (12:22):
Well, I'm trying to figure out what I would be
like if I was you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Would not be on trial for allegedly murdering my boyfriend.
And I was like, I probably wouldn't act like she's acting.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
You wouldn't. But also she's from Boston, so I don't
I know, personalities are different. And she did say something
in the very beginning where she was like, I don't
like talking about this because no matter how I answer questions,
people are going to pick apart my answer the way
they want it to be. So if I smile, it
means this, But if I don't smile, it also means this.
So I can't do anything right. So I get that,
(12:54):
and it must be really hard. I was also wondering
did they know they were going to make a documentary
about this trial before the trial, because why did.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
They film that?
Speaker 4 (13:06):
I mean, maybe, I'm not sure I was.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I was curious because they were they filmed it while
the trial was happening. I just thought that I've never
seen something like that where.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
You get this like usually like inside, look at what's
happening from the get go.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, yeah, okay, these are my thoughts. She Turtleman, you know,
I'm talking about Turtle Boy. Interesting part of the show.
People are way too invested with her fans, like the
fanfare of it all very strange. I actually, for the
first two episodes thought that she wasn't guilty. And I
don't know if it's the evidence that I believe that
(13:42):
proves it was her. The evidence isn't that strong. It's
the vibe.
Speaker 4 (13:47):
Yeah, but I just don't think someone can be guilty
because of their vibe.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
Well that's my opinion, right, you put me on the jury.
She is guilty.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
You put me on the jury, and I'm like, whoever
spoke last? And I'm like yeah, yeah, I'm like wow, okay,
because every time like her guy would speak, I'd be like, oh, man.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Got him, got him?
Speaker 5 (14:04):
Yeah, wow's good.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Yeah, he's good.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
And I was like, she's innocent, and then the other
people would speak and I would be like, oh my gosh,
she did it.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
But that prosecutor, I know some help.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
If I was on the jury, I don't think I would.
I think I would say, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
I don't. It's not definitive enough for me to put
her in jail for the rest of her life. But
since I'm not on the jury, I feel more freedom
and sane. I think she did it okay, which is
it's a mistrial.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
But we'll keep we'll talking about it in case people
want to watch it and they fast forward a little bit.
Speaker 4 (14:38):
Hey, we're done talking about body in the snow.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Oh, yeah, we're done. You can listen to us now,
mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Hello, hello, hello, Yeah, but you gave your verdict, and really, honestly,
I'm dead serious about mine. I'm telling you is why
I can't be on a jury. You don't if you
did something you do not want me.
Speaker 5 (14:56):
You'd be the person that makes the jury a hung jury.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, Like we'd be in deliberation for like a long time.
I'd be like, book your hotel rooms, people, we're gonna
be here a while.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
Can we get some snacks?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
How long do you get do you know?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Like?
Speaker 5 (15:10):
How long does a jury get until it's a hung dury?
Speaker 4 (15:13):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I don't know. Maybe I get that information, we get
that thanks got our fact checker over there.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
So wait, you got scammed somehow.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, I'm glad you brought this up.
Speaker 5 (15:35):
I got scammed.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
The one who's been looking out for your scamming got god.
Speaker 4 (15:40):
Yes, if you are laying on top of this, how
did you get got?
Speaker 2 (15:44):
So? You know last week I told you that your
eyeball was as big as a tangerine or a clementine.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, and I think I even supported that because I'm like, yeah,
I've heard, but I feel like it is well.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
I was telling I was telling everybody this fact. I
posted on my Instagram. I was telling girls at work,
so it's the scam. Well. So one of my therapists
at work was like, that doesn't feel right, and I
was like, no, this lady that I took her training,
she told me. She even brought an orange to show
(16:17):
me how big an eyeball was. That's how convinced she
was that the eyeball was that big.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Okay, but an orange is one size, and then a tangerine.
There can be tangerines that are size of a ping
bong ball, and nur as is the size of a
ping pong ball.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
She brought like a b Okay, are you talking about
a bing bong ball? Or a ping pong ball, I said.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
I said, I said a ping pong ball? What a
ping pong ball?
Speaker 5 (16:42):
Stop? Say slow down a ping.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I have tangerines in my fridge right now that are
the size.
Speaker 4 (16:53):
Of a ping pong ball.
Speaker 5 (17:00):
Why I want you to breathe and then say ping
pong ball.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
It's just because I put emphasis probably on pong okay,
ping pong pong ball.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Put it together, ping pong ball, perfect, ping pong ball.
I thought you were saying ping pong ball.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
No, No, I'm saying ping pong ball.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Okay, okay, I'm not trying to shame the way you
talk about. Sorry, keep going. Oh so anybody somebody was like, cat,
that's not true, and I was like, yeah, it is,
And so I went to Google because I was gonna
prove it.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Uh huh.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It's the size of it is the size of a
ping pong ball, A ping pong ball in a clementine
orange are not the same. She brought an orange that
like a clementine that.
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Was like a little cutie.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It's at least double the size of a can we
get the size of a clementine orange. I think that
they they vary. There are some that she brought. But
my point is she brought a big one. She brought
one that was not the size of a bing bong ball,
So then you're a long. She brought like a naval orange. No, no,
she brought a clementine, but it was double the size
(18:02):
of a ping pong heay.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Well, she just picked up a big one. But I
do think they have smaller ones.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
My point is if she thought that the eyeball was
the size of a ping pong ball, she would have
brought us a ping pong ball. She was saying, the
eyeball is huge. It's bigger than you thought it was.
This is how big it right? Right?
Speaker 4 (18:17):
Okay?
Speaker 5 (18:17):
So I believed her because she's I went to her training.
I trusted her. I was paying her a lot of money,
and she got me.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
So do you think she meant after you peel it,
because sometimes when you remove the skin, what's actually left
is smaller.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
If she thought it was after you peeled it, then
she would have said, your eyeball is the size of
a clementine after you peel it, okay, or she would
have just.
Speaker 5 (18:46):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So clementines are small, such as fruits, generally about two
inches in diameter.
Speaker 5 (18:52):
So double the size because a.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Ping pong ball it was like one inch, right.
Speaker 5 (18:59):
It's one yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Yeah, So I don't know if she meant I think
she really thinks that. So I don't know who told
her that, But I learned a lesson that I even
if I learned something from a trusted person, I should
really critically think about it before I put it on
a podcast.
Speaker 4 (19:15):
Or that's why we fact check everything here.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
We're going to start now. We should have like you
know you do.
Speaker 4 (19:21):
I'm about to tell you how long a juror has okay,
but or a.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Jury you know how on Armchair Expert they do fact
check at the end of every episode episode. We should
allow ourselves that grace because sometimes we say things and
I wanted the chance to clear this up. Thank you
guys for being with me on this Clementine journey. Yeah,
we might have to start fact checking.
Speaker 4 (19:40):
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Although I think size of this very but she did
have one there as a demo that was too big.
Speaker 5 (19:45):
You really want her to because have.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
You ever seen sometimes at Chipotle do you go did
Chipotle get the kid's meal and it comes with a
fruit cup or a bagg of chips and you get
fruit cup and it's a little teeny tiny orange that
fits in the cup.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
It's it's the size of a ping bob pole.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
But my point with that is that's not the size
she brought us.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Okay, I know, but if you were then saying that online,
I don't think that you sounded that offze. It's not
like you were online holding a big orange would be like,
this is.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
The size of you're kind of finding me.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, Like I'm saying, like, I don't think you you
came off as a scammer moron.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, Yeah, well you weren't trying to.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
I didn't feel like I was a moron.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
It was more so like I got got like I
was a gullible and I should have thought more critically
about that. So I will now be thinking more critically
with Google before I share those kinds of facts.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
So, speaking of Google and Shannon, thank you. Now we
know there is no fixed time for a jury. There's
no specific number of hours or days after which a
jury automatically becomes a hung jury. The judge ultimately decides
if the jury is deadlocked, and further deliberation won't lead
to a verdict, which you did see at the end
(20:55):
of the documentary won't say exactly what the judge says,
but I watched that part twice actually, because I was like, wait,
what are the judge just said?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
I'm not going to do that to y'all.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Okay, So can I be honest about something? What I
don't think I saw like the last twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And you didn't see the last twenty minutes, and you're
saying she's guilty.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah, I fell asleep, and then I I Patrick said
you didn't see the last twenty minutes, and I was like,
I think I got it, So maybe.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
I'll go back and watch that far.
Speaker 4 (21:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know that either one of
us would be good on a jury.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Your hair looks good today.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Why what I do? Does it because I crimped.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
It or I did the I had that Little Mermaid
the three prong or it's called three barrel clamper.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I was just trying to give you a compliment. Oh
and you were one of the why So I read
this article from Psychology Today last weekend, and it was
talking about why flattery is so difficult for women specifically
to consume. So I was seeing how you were when
you took compliments and you that was me?
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Why, Yeah, that's pretty much what I do. So, oh,
your makeup looks good? Why or you'd be like, oh no,
or I like your outfit.
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Why is that what you usually say?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Why?
Speaker 5 (22:08):
I don't really know I got it on sale or this?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Well, I've had it forever. I always say if somebody
says I like your shirt, oh thanks, it was unclear
into his five dollars.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
Like sometimes I say.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That even if it wasn't on sale.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Why.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
What a weird thing?
Speaker 5 (22:23):
I think sometimes I have to have like.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
It in a bad way, but like it's just that's
an odd Uh.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
I know, I'm a liar. I'm a liar now, I
think I get so.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I don't think you're a liar. That's a lie. If
I didn't get on sale, I told you I got
it on sale, that's a lie. I'm a liar.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, that is weirdy weird liar.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
So I think I do that because I don't know
how to just receive that. It just like feels like
that can't be true. In this article confirmed that it
was talking about how it brings about this thing called
cognitive dissonance.
Speaker 5 (22:59):
You know what I mean, I say, I think two things.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Are not able to like sit in our brain, right,
I believe like if I think my outfit's ugly, or
if I think that I can't dress well, or if
I have some negative belief about me and what I
look like.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Or your hair.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Do you have some thoughts about your hair lately?
Speaker 4 (23:17):
Yeah, I felt like it's a little frizzy.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But yeah, so exactly, So you can't receive that because
it goes against what I'm already believing.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Oh yeah, so if there's a disconnect.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yes, And I think also they were saying that paired
with women are taught to be like modest and not
to be like boastful, so we don't also want to
accept that because it feels like almost like prideful. We
need to be more humble.
Speaker 4 (23:42):
Oh that's you're just trying to be humble. Thanks, got
it on sale.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
I think that's part of it, Like, oh, I can't
be like, oh, I know I love it. Like what
if you said if I say I like your hair
and you were like, I know I love it today?
Speaker 5 (23:56):
That would feel weird, right, Yeah, I can.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Hear it depends on the day or the outfit, because
like I was at iHeart country festival the other night,
and I was obsessed with my outfit, like.
Speaker 4 (24:05):
I loved it.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I loved it, and so yeah, when people will compliment,
I would say, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
Ay, although a few people.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Were like, it looks like you maybe need to get
some mothballs because like a moth.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Was eating at your car.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Was it a guy that said that?
Speaker 4 (24:19):
Multiple men?
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Yeah, y' all circulating the mothball joke like around backstage.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
But that's some I feel like my dad would always
say if you had jeans with holes in him, he'd like,
did you pay extra for those holes? That's such a dad,
And you're like, he still will say it, Yeah I did.
If he saw a picture, I'll show him a I'm
gonna send him a picture of your outfit and see
what he says. Okay, oh, say I wonder if she
paid extra for those holes?
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yeah, okay, I did.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Can you tell him she did so?
Speaker 4 (24:47):
But I did feel confident that night in my outfit.
I didn't so much love. My hair was like this too.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I don't know why I keep doing this way, but
it felt a little frizzy to me, and I was
feeling a little self.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
I loved you, I told you. I liked your hair
in the high pony.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Oh, thank you, good job. I'm a quick learner.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Okay, well, I have some tips for how to accept compliments.
But I thought this was very interesting from this article.
And also I want to mention this article was written
by Lindsay Goodwin. So thank you Lindsay for this article.
I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
She's a PhD.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
She is a doctor.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
I only see that here in the notes. I don't
have no idea what this is. I just see the headline,
and I had no idea you were about to compliment
me or you needed that.
Speaker 4 (25:26):
You were like, that was your intro into this. Because
I have no idea why. I was like.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Why, I think you were thrown off because I randomly
said that.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
So just some insider baseball is Kat and I. We
have our little iPads here, which we're obsessed with. We
love that we got like iPads, don't you feel more professional?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yes? I tried to use this iPad at work because
I got the pencil thing and I thought this would
be a great thing to take notes with because I
felt like I would feel so like, oh let me
get my notes out. It's a little distracting it's too loud.
It's loud, and I feel like this is too professional.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
For it feels like linical.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Yes, yes, as and you want to be like a
warm suppose vibe yeah, not clinician.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
Yeah, like yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
So anyway, we have our nifty little iPads and we
have a Google doc and Cat and I both add
to it, so like we'll have the date of the
episode and we'll just throw in like headlines or things
like all I see here is like how I knew
to say, Cat, you got scammed? All I see here
is Cat got scammed. But I had no idea what
it was about. Yeah, you know, yeah, that's and and
(26:32):
and my color is blue, and Cat's color is purple.
Speaker 5 (26:35):
And wait, what's green? Oh that's Shannon.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Shannon's green.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
So while we're talking, Shannon's over there, you know, looking
up things like the size of clementines, so that we can,
you know, teach you things here. We're trying to educate you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Did you make purple my color? Because purple's my favorite color? Yeah?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Thanks?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Okay, back to the facts. I thought this was very
interesting before I give you the tips. It was talking
about how well a study found that women deflected or
minimized compliments from men sixty percent of the time when
the compliment winner was a woman. I'm going to ask
you this, since you haven't read this, do you think
they rejected it more or less if it was from
(27:17):
So when a compliment was given by a man to
a woman, the women rejected the compliment sixty percent of
the time when the compliment was given by a woman
to a woman. How often do you think they do
you think it was higher like one hundred percent, seventy
eight percent?
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Okay, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Why?
Speaker 2 (27:35):
I don't know why. It's maybe just because women in
general are more likely to feel like they need to
be modest.
Speaker 5 (27:43):
I guess a woman a woman.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
But I found that was very interesting that I'm going
to accept it from Maybe we feel like we can
be more honest with women, like I don't know, yeah,
how I just thought it was an interesting fact.
Speaker 4 (27:56):
We're safe, feel more safe.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Okay, So I'm going to give you three tips to
accept compliments because I know that I can use these,
and it.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Sounds like you can't.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
I definitely can.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
And she said, why it matters? Accepting compliments isn't just
about boosting your ego. It's about fostering connection, which to
that it is when you give somebody a compliment. I'm like,
oh my gosh, you did such a good job on
that report that you gave in school. That's okay, let
(28:25):
me start off. Was that a compliment to me? I
don't know where I was going with that. Let me
try again.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
Okay, try again.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Oh my gosh, you did so good hosting I heeart
this weekend.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
You were just because I wasn't technically Howstbobby was. I
was just there doing I mean I I did some
things on Hulu and then I did.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
Some radio stuff, but yeah, he was the host. So
you're already giving me I did a couple of stage hits.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Can I finish my compliment?
Speaker 4 (28:52):
Yeah, we're playing.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
You know.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
It's what you did there good.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I know exactly what I was doing there. Yeah, I
was just letting you know.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
You really don't want to accept my complimentage, Okay, thank you.
So when you do that, it creates like a disconnect
between somebody I'm trying to connect with you saying like,
oh my gosh, I saw some clips that you posted.
You look like you said such a good job.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Okay, if you're like, oh my gosh, it was horrible
blah blah blah, that is like, okay, never mind, So
I'm trying to connect with you. And a lot of
times when people give compliments, whether or not they mean
them or not, it's a point of connection to start
a conversation.
Speaker 5 (29:28):
There are actually tips that people will give, like.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Small talk experts or just relationship experts in general say,
start with something common. You can go up and share
a positive note to somebody to start a conversation.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
So when we.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Don't accept it or receive it, we're robbing them of
the opportunity to connect with us and in ourselves too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
So imagine somebody new comes up to you and it's like,
oh my gosh, girl, I love your jacket, and you're like, oh,
that's so ugly. Now where do we go? Yeah, like
never mind. So just be open to conversation is a
huge part of that. So why it matters. It's a
way to connect with people. When we brush them off,
we dis miss the other person's thoughts, and learning to
(30:11):
accept praise can rewrite those negative stories in our head.
So if I think like, oh I don't know how
to dress, I have such bad style. Well, the more
we deflect the compliments, the more we're gonna make that
story true. The more we accept it, we're like, oh, she.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Likes my outfit. She likes my outfit.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
She likes my outfit.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Maybe I know how to dress.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
My outfit is awesome. I've been trying to read write
that story in my head. In the morning is when
I'm getting ready for work. I've been saying over and
over because I don't feel like I get dressed with ease,
and I don't I want to be like a little
more creative with my outfits, and I just feel like
I don't know how to put things together the way
that I would like. So in the mornings, right when
I I start this little mantra, like I go down
(31:02):
the kitchen, I make my coffee, and I'm like, I
put on my clothes with these. I put on my
clothes with these.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
I go into my closet and it is so easy
for me to fake out clothes.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I go, you know, I just do that, keep going, yeah,
that I am creative with my clothes.
Speaker 4 (31:19):
And then I put on a tan top jeans.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
Okay, I was gonna say, that's so interesting because I
was actually talking to Patrick about I was like, I
feel like Amy always has something cute on on my record,
and I never know what to wear. So I was
complimenting you without you around. But it's just interesting that
you think that, but I think the opposite.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Oh see, I think you look cute and I love
your headband.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Thinks I'm trying something new. I accepted you did it good?
Speaker 4 (31:45):
Yeah, you were like, thanks, I got it on sale,
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
I paid full price, so, to be honest, the only
reason I bought it is because it wasn't sale. Yeah,
that's not a lie. I told kat that earlier. Just
because you told her that earlier doesn't make it.
Speaker 5 (31:57):
It was target was to sale. Prove check it. I'll
show you my receipt.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, okay, receipt or it didn't happen, Okay, I'll show
it to you later.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
That's so funny that that's like your lie.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
I don't think I always lie, but I've just caught
myself before, and I'm like, why did I just tell
my God, I.
Speaker 4 (32:15):
Don't know.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I'd be like, no, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, I'm just kidding.
I don't know why I said that. I'm a liar.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
They were like okay, like not looking for connection with
you anymore, that's for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I don't want people to think that I lie to them.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
In general, I get it like it's a you're trying,
it's you're uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I will never do it again saying it.
Speaker 4 (32:42):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
So do you want three tips to accept compliments? Yes? Okay.
The first one, just say thank you and pause. Okay,
so thank you and then in your head say paus pause, pause, pause, pause.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I can imagine people going thank you pause, like they
say that part out loud.
Speaker 4 (33:03):
Okay, so just think you pause?
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Why because this allows the other person to now connect
with you more.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well, I think that is a like an addition to
what it brings, because if I'm not feeling that space
and they can be like where did you get it?
Or they can add something else to whatever compliment they're
giving you. But the pause really is and why I said,
say it in your brain, it's removing that instinct to
give the disclaimer. So oh, like, let's if it wasn't
about my outfit. You did really great on your report
(33:31):
that you gave in class. Oh no, I messed up.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
I forgot this whole part and blah blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
You go on and on and on and on and on and
on when you don't have to do that, so it
takes that spot away.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
Oh I have an example too of sometimes we I
don't know if this is related at all.
Speaker 5 (33:47):
Okay, let's see, we'll see.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Welcome to my brain.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
But how sometimes we make things about us when it's
not about us. Where because it is related? Because someone
was trying to give me a compliment saying I did
something well well, and this was actually at iHeart. I
was doing this hit for Hulu because it's streaming live
on Hulu, and we do artist interviews backstage, and it's
really chaotic back there. It's loud, there's a lot going on.
You have a teleprompter and there's sometimes you have to
(34:12):
vamp and what's vamp like a they call it an accordion,
uh segment, But you vamp for however long, maybe thirty seconds,
like you just have to talk talk talk. There's nothing
on the teleprompter. It's like what was on the prompter
with sixty seconds. But now the truck, so the trucks
are outside, you know, like news trucks where they like
do all the editing and streaming, so the Hulu truck
(34:34):
was outside, so they say, the guys in the truck say,
now we need thirty more seconds, so you need to
just vamp, or you need we need sixty more seconds,
or sometimes even god forbid, two minutes, which feels like
eternity in vamp world. So you know going into it
that you may have an accordion section, so you kind
of have some stories in your mind.
Speaker 4 (34:56):
But there was a.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Situation where he was setting holding up his iPad with
thirty more seconds, but he put it to the right
of the camera and when really under the camera would
have been an easier spot for me to see, so
I couldn't see. Otherwise I'm like gazing off camera, and
I kind of thought the vamping was over and it wasn't,
so then I had to keep going and I was
(35:18):
stumbling my words.
Speaker 4 (35:19):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Well, when we got done, the guy with the headset
he was listening to the truck and I saw him
make some face and I instantly was like, oh, I suck.
Speaker 4 (35:28):
I didn't handle that.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Well, like I messed up, and that he made this
face and da da dah. Well, then my girl, Elizabeth,
you know Buzzio she sent me a text when I
like twelve hours later, because I guess she talked to
some people and she said, hey, by the way, I
know you got real worked up, but I got worked up,
and I let it almost impact my performance for the
rest of the night because of his face. And I'm like, no, no,
I saw his face, like they're disappointed. That was horrible.
(35:53):
And she said that the truck had said something completely
different to him, it had nothing to do with me,
and he made the face, and he also was mad
at himself for putting it to the side and not underneath,
and like the truck sent a whole apology to Elizabeth
to forward to me, and they said, let Amy know
that was one hundred percent our fault and we take responsibility.
And but it did sort of derail some of my
(36:15):
performance the rest of the night because and I'm reading
a prompter on the main stage, and if you start
to get nervous, fumbled, and you're all in your head,
you're more likely to mess up more. So I had
to like really use the power of thought to like
push that face that he made out of my brain.
But the rest of the night I definitely still thought
(36:35):
it was about me. Until twelve hours later when she
texted me and she was like, Amy, that had nothing
to do with you, And I was like, oh, well.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Gosh darn it, I made it about I made it
about me.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
And so it's just a reminder to like, don't make
up stories, right, you know, we talk about that part,
but then also receive the compliment, because at the time
Elizabeth is like standing side shage. She's like, I saw
the whole thing you did great, but I was so
worked up about his face that I couldn't receive her compliment.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
So this is going to tie into another one of
our tips.
Speaker 4 (37:03):
Boom see, I knew, thank you. I knew it was relatable.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
So consider the evidence is a second tip. When you
want to downplay the compliment, take a second and consider
the evidence. People with lower self esteem, or if you
just are like anxious or have low self esteem about
one thing, self conscious about one thing, they tend to
paint themselves with a broad stroke brush, which is like
(37:26):
all or nothing, black and white thinking. So when Sony
gives you a compliment about something, consider the evidence for
that compliment versus.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
The evidence against it.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
So you were thinking about all the negative stuff versus wait,
considering all the circumstances, I did a pretty good job
with what I was vamping, vamping if I had to vamp.
Sometimes when you say filibuster when we're recording, I'm like,
I have nothing in my brain, Like it just goes blank.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
So I definitely fumbled, But I mean I think that's
to be expected. And a lot they're like, look, you
had to like juggle, you handled it well, but I
couldn't receive that.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
But I feel like you always handle it well.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Thank you you yeah, post post post pust pause, You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Okay.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
The last tip is revisit your compliments later. I thought
this was interesting.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Like with yourself, bear with me, this feels weird.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Maybe keep a compliment journal. No way, so see it
feels so wrong, but this is why it's not.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
Be open.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
I need you to be open.
Speaker 5 (38:29):
Can you just give me an open?
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Thank you give me an open You're giving me bad
body language. Be open.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Cry Okat's like I'm I'm gonna tattoo the ma my body.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
Cat is like, can you actually send me some compliments
later so I can put them in my journal?
Speaker 1 (38:44):
The thing is words of words of affirmation. Is that's
my love language like, I like words of affirmation.
Speaker 5 (38:53):
Why is it weird for you to give them to yourself?
Speaker 4 (38:55):
Well, you weren't saying that.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I thought you were saying, keep a compliment journal of
compliment you've heard from other people?
Speaker 5 (38:59):
Why is that bad?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
What I'm not saying it's bad. If somebody else wants
to do it, I love that for them. I don't
see myself at night being like, huh, today Kat saying
my report.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
My hair looked pretty. So this is gonna help me?
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Okay, fine, I need to do it because I think
I have I don't know that I have low self esteem,
but it's it can dabble down there.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I can dabble in the low self esteem. It can hang.
Speaker 4 (39:27):
Low at times, but I've really been working on it
so well.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
We all have things that were self conscious of, yeah,
and all the things that we're insecure about. So I
guess I was being on a little bit judgmental of you.
What makes you so off put by the idea of
a compliment journal?
Speaker 1 (39:45):
Will you want me to take inventory of compliments I
received throughout the day and you want me to write
them down at night? That just does not sound like
something I could do. But I will try what's off putting,
it feels weird, it feels wrong, it feels wrong, and
self adulger.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Yeah yeah, but that is what what are you trying
to say? Yeah, okay, So that speaks to the beginning
of this article is talking about how women were taught
to downplay their success and we're taught to be humble.
We're taught to like not be self indungent, indulgent, and
(40:24):
to accept a compliment that feels the opposite. So this
is retraining your brain to one be able to receive that. No,
it's okay for me to like know that people think
this about me. Also, it's okay if I think this
is a this about me. But outside of that part,
it's good for you to see that because when we
neglect them, even when we're doing the pause thing and
(40:47):
our brain we might still be like no, pause no, like,
we might still also be having.
Speaker 5 (40:52):
That war in our brain.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
So if we're writing them down and we are your words,
taking inventory of them, it gives us a chance to
let that sink in and then we get to if
we're having Okay, the best gift I ever received you Actually, well,
I was thinking about this because you asked us at
a dinner party months ago when I met Alex. We
did conversation cards and one of the questions you asked
(41:16):
us what's the best gift you ever received? And I froze.
It almost was like I was feeling you're asking me
to vamp. I froze and I said.
Speaker 5 (41:24):
Do you remember what I said?
Speaker 4 (41:26):
I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
I'm stuck on what Gracie said, because Gracie and Rudin
was there too, and that's when we learned that Gracie
was the high school mascot.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
And that's when I learned that Patrick was his mascot.
I didn't know that he had so cats.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Husband and Gracie were both the high school mascot, So
then I don't that's the That's my big takeaway from
that night is the story Gracie.
Speaker 4 (41:48):
I know, hilarious, So we'll revisit that later. But so now,
I don't remember your answer to your question.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I said this journal that my mom and dad thought
me the invisible one that had invisible black light pen
that was my which that gift was cool.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
I feel like that is cool, but.
Speaker 5 (42:04):
My favorite gift, I know.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I don't know why I didn't think this My favorite
gift I know it is, and that's why I ended
up giving it to you. Was my sister gave me
a blessing jar. This is my birthday, right after I
went through a really bad breakup where I was like
knocking out of bed. I cried every day, and she
had all my best friends write down ways that I'm
(42:26):
a blessing to them in their life, and then she
put them in a jar and we went to dinner.
She gave it to me, and I was a puddle
of tears, but like happy, grateful tears, and that blessing
jar I still have.
Speaker 5 (42:36):
I keep it in my bathroom. I don't read them
all the time.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I used to every once in a while when I
was still trying to build myself back up in that
time would read like one a day, and that helped
me build my self esteem back up after I'd gone
through this horrible, horrible experience. And I still have it
because I think it's okay for me to acknowledge how
other people view me in a positive way.
Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yes, and I love that you gave me that too.
I love my blessing jar. I have it in my
closet so when i's just nice to know it's struggling
to get dressed. I do care it in my closet.
It's in a little like a nook area with like
jewelry and whatnot. But I have my blessing jar, and
I think that's great. That's notes coming from other people.
I think it was just me documenting at the end
(43:20):
of the day, writing it down. But I do get
the whole exercise. It's kind of even different. We're gonna
have to agree to disagree on this. Listen, I'll do
this activity for you, this assignment, or I'll try it.
But then this is one of the things. If something
happens to me, you burn it. I cannot have someone
finding my journal of.
Speaker 4 (43:38):
Me writing down all the compliments.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Can you imagine on it there's like a documentary about
your life. And they're like, And when we went through
a closet, we found a journal where she wrote every.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Compliment anybody ever gave her. Cat said I had beautiful
hair today. The other cat told me that I looked
good on camera during the Country Croc post, Shannon told me,
and that's all it was.
Speaker 4 (44:02):
Yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Don't think that would be negative. I think people are like,
she must have been working on her mental Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Now they're gonna think that for sure, just on this podcast.
Then they'll know this is what she was doing. It
was an assignment, or maybe I put that at the
beginning of the journal. This is an assignment from Kat.
I don't want to do this. I hate this. If
anybody finds this, this is homework for my mental health, sincerely, Amy.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
If that gets you to do it, I'm fine, perfect, Yeah, Okay, I.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
Can get it.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Shannon said that keeping birthday cards or notes from family
and friends that say something nice, if you keep those around.
Speaker 2 (44:53):
Then you reread them and.
Speaker 1 (44:56):
You come across them, and that can be very helpful
for Yeah, so it's sort of the same thing as
like the blessing jar.
Speaker 5 (45:01):
But y'all, do you keep your cards?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I have a shoe box full of some of them, Yeah,
like from way of them. Some I don't know what
determines when I keep it or when I don't.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I wonder if any of my cards are in there.
Probably I probably haven't even given you a card. I
and notoriously don't put cards in gifts.
Speaker 4 (45:18):
Yeah. Cat loves cards.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
I like getting them.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
The other cry ocat Sometimes I'm like, oh a card. Yeah,
y'all need different names. Therapy cat, cryocat, that's what I
call y'all.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
But oh she's okay, ye wait, who calls you Catherine?
Speaker 4 (45:34):
That's what she calls herself.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
Sometimes Catherine's a different person.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
She'll be like, Catherine's tired of this.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Patrick calls me Catherine, and I'm like in trouble, but
I don't tell us more. Well, the other day, Catherine's
been a bad, bad car. What do you call him?
Right into the.
Speaker 5 (46:03):
Would I call him when he's a bad boy?
Speaker 2 (46:07):
You?
Speaker 5 (46:07):
Dirty?
Speaker 2 (46:08):
Dirty Tom? No?
Speaker 4 (46:10):
Well, his full name he is Patrick.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like if if he was called pat people call him Patty,
but I don't.
Speaker 4 (46:16):
Call him that, Patrick van Buren, Patrick, Thomas Patrick.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
You know what my mom called me when I got
in trouble as a kid.
Speaker 5 (46:23):
What have I not told you this?
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Katherine Mary, Elizabeth, Francis, Sally, Brittany, Defada, get your butt down.
Speaker 4 (46:30):
Why are there so many middle names?
Speaker 2 (46:32):
She said one day she started adding names when she
was mad at me, and that's what she would call me.
And I was in trouble.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
Katherine Mary, Mary, Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Francis, Francis, Sally, Sally, Brittany, Brittany, If.
Speaker 4 (46:46):
Not as a mom. I can barely get like one
kid's name straight.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
Well, yeah, okay, had a lot. Maybe she'd loved me more.
Speaker 4 (46:52):
That is a lot.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
I love that. That's funny. Your mom's funny.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
Hi.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
If you're listening, Hi, Kat's Hi, Catherine, Elizabeth, Brittany, Tina Defadas.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Now are you adding on? Yeah? I have a question.
Actually this is on topic but kind of off. Have
you seen that trend on TikTok that goes into like
all the different names people call you?
Speaker 4 (47:15):
Oh no, it is, yes, I've seen great.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
So I want to know what your like nicknames are, Like,
does your sister call you something?
Speaker 5 (47:20):
She calls you seister?
Speaker 2 (47:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (47:22):
Is there another name called bbb? Okay, so what are
all your names?
Speaker 1 (47:26):
We Bb to my sister and her kids, where does
that come from? That's my my niece was the first
one born, my sister's first kid.
Speaker 2 (47:35):
And I don't know.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
Her middle name's Elizabeth.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
My middle name is Elizabeth, and I think like maybe
Christy was trying to do like an Ebby thing or Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (47:43):
I don't know, bb came out with her first. I
don't know if it's like not quite sure.
Speaker 5 (47:47):
Okay, So no real story there.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
Yeah, I love to.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
Ask, but I think I had something to do with
like Elizabeth.
Speaker 5 (47:53):
Okay, but BB, I love the name Elizabeth.
Speaker 4 (47:57):
Thanks, is that really one of yours?
Speaker 2 (48:00):
So? What is your real my certificate?
Speaker 1 (48:03):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (48:04):
Yes, which which of those names are on my?
Speaker 2 (48:06):
I know what it is?
Speaker 4 (48:07):
Hold on? I know your middle name?
Speaker 2 (48:09):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (48:09):
No, Mary, Well, Marie wasn't in the names that I
just listed.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
Katherine, Mary.
Speaker 5 (48:16):
My sister's middle name is Marie.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Yeah, you're m A R y Katherine, Marie defauda No, Mary,
that's what I meant.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
Okay, you said Marie. She said Marie, But you just
said Marie.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
I said Mary. But then no, you just said Marie.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
I know, roll back to the table. I know I did,
but I said Mary. Alex saying you're uber and your
ubber or whatever he called it uber you.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
He's like, we need to order a you buber And
I was like, you mean uber. He's like, that's what
I said, so that I know, but I meant Mary. Well,
he met uber, but he said you were. You said okay,
any whatever, I want.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
You know their names.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
BB.
Speaker 4 (48:57):
My pastor calls me Ames.
Speaker 5 (48:59):
That's cute. What if you made the real and you're
like Aimes to my pastor.
Speaker 2 (49:03):
I'm trying to think of.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
Like anybody that call it, But some people call me.
My boyfriend's son calls me amster.
Speaker 5 (49:11):
Cute the twelve year old that's cute.
Speaker 4 (49:14):
Yeah, I'd be like, uh, amster.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
I feel like that's something that like a dad would
call you two, like, hey, amster, how you doing?
Speaker 4 (49:22):
Growing up? My neighbor, my neighbor was Jill.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
Her mom was Susan. Our moms were friends, and she
always called me famous amos. And I saw her when
my cousin's mom passed away a couple of years ago.
That's the last time I saw her was at that funeral,
and she's still she's like, famous Amos.
Speaker 4 (49:40):
How's it going? Because you know there's this famous amous cookies.
Speaker 5 (49:43):
Yes, they're so good.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (49:45):
So I'm trying to think that I don't know that
I have any other nicknames.
Speaker 2 (49:48):
That's enough. That's a lot.
Speaker 5 (49:49):
You can make one of those reels. See if he
goes viral.
Speaker 2 (49:51):
Who don't really? My pastor amos to my mom's friends, cousins, sisters,
my neighbor, neighbor, she was ready ever growing up Because
I'm like, yeah, I don't know that I am like
what your friends in high school called you. Amy.
Speaker 5 (50:05):
You have a short name, so I think it's harder
to have a nickname for a short name.
Speaker 4 (50:11):
Amsy amsy.
Speaker 5 (50:14):
Ams is her name.
Speaker 4 (50:17):
To cry okat, I am princess.
Speaker 5 (50:19):
Wait, funny reel If you did it.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
So frantic, I know, but that would kind of be
like what you called when you're making like a spoof
of something to satire, it would make satire. Aims to
my pastor, as I know.
Speaker 4 (50:34):
To my kids, I'm mom.
Speaker 5 (50:42):
What it is, But you have to make this reel? Now,
this is funny. So how would I do it? I
would say, from Amy to the government.
Speaker 1 (50:51):
Okay, so the government. I'm Amy to my kids, I
am Mom to my sister and her kids. I'm Beattie
to my pastor. I'm Aims.
Speaker 4 (51:04):
To my neighbor growing up.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
I just to my friend Cat, I am princess. I
think it's funny you put it on TikTok because TikTok
you can do whatever you want there.
Speaker 5 (51:17):
It's like posting stuff. Nobody cares. I think it's funny.
Speaker 4 (51:20):
Actually did it on TikTok because our feeling things is
on TikTok.
Speaker 2 (51:23):
Okay okay, okay, what are yours?
Speaker 5 (51:26):
Mine aren't?
Speaker 2 (51:26):
Is good? I, well, it's debatable.
Speaker 4 (51:30):
They probably are better.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
So Catherine to some of my family, Cat to my
other some of my family and friends after college Cat
Catherine to Little Jesus to friends from college fraternity parties.
(51:53):
Little that was my.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
Nickname in college.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
They called me Kitty Cat, and then they called me
Little Jesus, and then it went to LJ. I that's
what people like afratornity parties would call me. Well J.
I was very religious my freshman year of college, and
I was like the chaplain of our sorority. I was
like very into Little Jesus. So I was like, why
did none of the guys ever try to take me
home freshman year?
Speaker 5 (52:14):
Probably because I.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
Would be called Little Jesus.
Speaker 4 (52:17):
Oh, I don't want to think about reason my freshman
child being taken home.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
Well, I didn't mean it like that, Like why didn't
the guys, why weren't they buying me drinks? Mean it
that way? You just said it that way?
Speaker 4 (52:32):
Got a liar rolled the tape.
Speaker 2 (52:36):
Liar like I got it on tail. Okay, I wouldn't
have probably gone home with them, but I wanted to
be invited. Yeah, like we just want to get asked,
want to try to? No, I don't. Okay, moving on
LJ and the Kitty Cat and.
Speaker 4 (52:56):
Years are better then.
Speaker 2 (52:58):
Some of my friends call me cat, but like as
a joke, the guys from high school called me Kath.
Speaker 4 (53:05):
Which well I just thought it one from grade school?
What was it, motormouth Moffitt, that.
Speaker 5 (53:12):
Has to go on there.
Speaker 2 (53:13):
Yeah, it was my maiden name.
Speaker 4 (53:15):
And that's also remember because don't you remember when I
ran for treasure in fourth grade?
Speaker 2 (53:21):
I wasn't there, so I don't remember.
Speaker 4 (53:24):
I know, but I've told you this story.
Speaker 5 (53:25):
I don't remember. I'm just kidding, Okay.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
Obviously we've experienced a lot of life together at this point,
or a lot of stories, so like we can't remember everything.
Speaker 5 (53:33):
Yeah, thanks for that. Do you want to share this?
Speaker 2 (53:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (53:36):
I ran for treasure. I didn't make it, Thank god.
Money would have you.
Speaker 2 (53:41):
Would the name machines would be free. Is that what
you said?
Speaker 4 (53:47):
Vote for Amy Moffatt? You can't top it? And I
had dollar bills all over it.
Speaker 5 (53:51):
Oh cute.
Speaker 2 (53:52):
They didn't vote mine for me. My nickname in middle
school was Catherine A lotta defada, So when they did,
like the morning announcements and read like the stats from
like the soccer games, same like and four stops from
Katherine a lotta Defada because you were stopping the ball
Alata a lotta And my last name was Defada. I
(54:13):
aunt Kat to my nieces and nephews. I don't have
any like cool names.
Speaker 4 (54:19):
I think Little Jesus takes the cakes. L J for sure, LJ. Yeah,
all right, well LJ. Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (54:27):
Well, they can find me on Instagram at kat van Buren.
They can find us on Instagram at Feeling Things podcasts.
Speaker 1 (54:33):
Yeah, and then I am at Radio Amy And before
we close, we're gonna get to our email.
Speaker 5 (54:39):
It's not your part.
Speaker 1 (54:41):
Oh sorry, I see I already forgot that. It's ok
and you won't mean to remember the question you answered
back in January?
Speaker 5 (54:50):
What question did I ask you?
Speaker 2 (54:51):
And you said earlier?
Speaker 1 (54:52):
Mir were like, remember we played that game. Then I
met your boyfriend and we asked like tons of questions.
Speaker 2 (54:56):
And you forgot that.
Speaker 5 (54:57):
Okay, ready, Okay, So now it's time for the part
of the show Monday.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Guys, we're gonna get this down. We're still only in
our second month.
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Did you watch Veggie Tails some when I was like,
any ing, Oh, you guys watched it right. Well, when
I said now it's time of the part of the show,
this isn't gonna make any sense to you because in
the show it goes and now it's time for silly
songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry
sings a silly song, and it sounded the same, you know.
Speaker 4 (55:25):
Yeah, No, I'm telling you, I did watch it when
I nannied kids, so I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 5 (55:29):
Well, you made it seem like it was loserrous.
Speaker 4 (55:31):
No, I was making it seem that I'm older than you.
Speaker 5 (55:33):
Ok Okay, So it's okay, But it was cool that
I was.
Speaker 4 (55:37):
Actually slight dig at my age.
Speaker 2 (55:40):
Okay. I just want you to tell me it was
cool that I watched it. It was cool, Okay.
Speaker 1 (55:43):
Veggie tales, veggie tales, veggie tales.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
Veggee tails.
Speaker 5 (55:49):
See, I know.
Speaker 2 (55:50):
Sweet.
Speaker 5 (55:51):
Okay. Now ready, are you ready for the Email of
the day?
Speaker 2 (55:58):
That was really good?
Speaker 5 (55:59):
Okay, wait, I'm not supposed to say that. You want
me to do it again? Yeah, now it's time for
the Email of the Day.
Speaker 1 (56:08):
Hi was listening to your recent podcast and wanted to
drop a note saying that I am a male listener
in Montana. I have been a longtime Bobby Bone show listener.
Speaker 4 (56:17):
And love lov in all caps.
Speaker 1 (56:20):
This new podcast for y'all great content that I can
relate to, and I think it's hitting a much needed
area of content that is overlooked. Keep up the good
work on positive vibes. Pete from Montana wants me to
journal Pete things that we're relatable in a much needed
(56:43):
area that's overlooked.
Speaker 4 (56:44):
So thank you, Pete.
Speaker 1 (56:45):
And we should get a bell for like you know,
like every time you know this, an angel gets their
wings or whatever, and we get a little bell that's
like every male listener we get. We're like, wait, that's
a great idea because I think now we have like
with Pete's thirteen, No, we're up to it least thirteen.
Speaker 4 (57:01):
So we're growing with our male listeners.
Speaker 5 (57:04):
And thanks for the email.
Speaker 1 (57:05):
And so if every male listener, all thirteen of you,
could just pass this episode or any episode the whole
podcast to the show, pass it on to your one
mail that you know, then we're up to twenty six.
Speaker 2 (57:19):
Yeah, it can be like a pass it in an
email chain and say if you don't forward this to
four of your friends, you will die. And if you,
if you do pass it to four of your friends,
just some dimmer like we'll show up in your right.
Speaker 4 (57:32):
That's true, sincerely, little Jesus.
Speaker 5 (57:36):
Right, yes, if Jesus says it, then it must be true. Okay,
that's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (57:42):
Okay, all right, Well have thed you need to have.
Speaker 1 (57:46):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (57:46):
Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
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Amy Brown
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