October 22, 2024 • 24 mins
Are you tipping the energy scale in your relationships? That’s what “energy vampires” do. Amy & Kat go over how to tell if you're an energy vampire…and they share about times they’ve shown up sucking the life out of people, haha. We all want better sleep….and research from Harvard reveals that getting it might be easier than we thought. Amy shares what you can do for just 10 minutes before bed to boost your sleep.
Today’s Quotes:
“Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.”
(Kat reveals she likes the weirdest cakes ever)
“He blocked me on everything, so I applied at his job..see you in the morning!”
(Amy & Kat then share times they have acting a little crazy/emotional because of a guy)
Call us: 877-207-2077
Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat, and today's quote is turns out you can
just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Nobody checks.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Oh, we like that one for sure. Have you ever
bought yourself a birthday cake when it wasn't your birthday?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I was gonna ask you that, I don't think I've
ever baked a cake for something that wasn't an event.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Well, you said baked, I said, bot do that mean? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Okay, if I'm eating a cake, I want it to
be homemade. I don't love cake, so I don't like
store bought cake. So if I'm eating a cake, it's
gonna be like a homemade strawberry cake or a carrot cake.
I will say Jay Lexander's has the best carrot cake.
They get too warm, so good. Why are you making
that face like that's the.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Beause you said?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
You said, if I'm baking a cake or eating a cake,
I'm baking a carrot cake or strawberry cake.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And it's just very rare.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
You think.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Like carrot cake, I guess minus raisins, and would never.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Put raisins in it. Oh, the carrots have to be.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No, no, no, did they have to?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Well then it's like a cinnamon cake.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Sure, like a spice cake.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah yeah, with a cream cheese frosting, and get down
with that. I have another quote that made me laugh
out loud when I saw it. He blocked me on everything,
So I applied to his job.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
See you in the morning.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Have you ever done anything crazy to a boyfriend or
ex boyfriend like that?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, like you're not to that extent. I've done
some things where I'm like really sad and looking back,
it's like, maybe you didn't need to send that text
or that email or go to that coffee shop. I
think I have too much of an ego to.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Apply at his job, and one of them seems like
a lot of work.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
The one guy that I would have done that too,
he owned the company, so that would be really weird.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Your application comes across his desk, He's like, I.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Already blocks you. You can't work here.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Wait did he block you?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes? He blocked my email, my phone. He blocked me
and all my family on his businesses Instagram. We could
not see this business's Instagram until wait.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Are you talking about the jerk that I know about?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yes? Oh yeah, we couldn't.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
All of my family, all of my friends, what didn't
just block me? But it's because he did something bad,
is why he did that. It was not a reaction
to me. It was he didn't want me knowing any
or any of my friends knowing anything about his life
because he did something bad. But he eventually had to
sell his company and they unblocked all of us when
they transferred over, so I finally can see his business,
(02:33):
but I don't really care anymore. Oh, such a business
is Instagram. Yeah, yeah, that's a crazy thing to do
to block me on your businesses Instagram when you don't
even post anything about your own life.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Do you think it was coming from a place of
guilt or shame or just.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
With I think there was a lot of fear that
people were going to call him out or say something.
But none of my family or friends would have done
that because I would have been upset about it. So
I think it was probably fear and then yeah, a
lot of shame. But he wouldn't. I don't think would
have said that. He would have said you're crazy or
something like that. And I don't really know that he
has too much evidence of me being crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
That's why you should never send a text or an email.
Keep your crazy vocal.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, yeah, keep it vocal, keep your crazy vocal. Yeah,
thank god most of If we did have any of that,
it was. But yeah, that is interesting to look back
and be like, yeah, I've been blocked. Shoot, I wonder
how many people have blocked us that we just don't
even know about.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
No, no, no, I'm trying to think of like the
last time I dated before I got married. I was
in my twenties, and that's the last time I got
my heart broken. It was the boyfriend before when I
dated Ben and then we got married, so it was
like the final boyfriend and I thought I was going
to marry him, and I did run into him total accident.
(03:50):
It's not like I wasn't at his job or he
didn't apply to work with him. We had gone out
and I had zero expectation of seeing him so much
so that it was completely caught off guard that I
did get a little crazy in the bar and just
started use that word.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
What really happened. You didn't get crazy, You got emotional.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Okay, I got emotional. Is crazy an emotion?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, it's not. And you said, I got crazy, But
that's not true. You're calling emotions crazy. That makes sense
that you got your heartbroken, then you saw him and
you cried.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, he'd already moved on too, And I knew right
away because there's no way he would have bought that
shirt he was wearing. She must have bought it for him.
It was cute, but he wouldn't have picked it out.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Is that why you cried?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think it was just the realization of I had
not seen him, and then this evidence right in front
of me that she existed.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
At least he wasn't with her.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, she wasn't there. I would have had to turn
around and walk out, but we had some mutual friends,
so we just saw him. We tried to hang out,
and at the bar, I just start crying, and then
you know, he felt bad. And I think they were
just dating. I don't know exactly where they were in
the relationship. I mean dating is dating.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
But yeah, I think they were just dating.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Boyfriend girlfriend. We're going to be together forever. So I
think if she was there, felt for me and ended
up giving me a ride home, but it didn't change anything.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Okay, But I was thinking crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was thinking I can win him over on this.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh that's funny. You know. One time after the other
guy that I was dating broke up with me, and
I went to Takary Adel Soul, a taco place after
work one day with some friends and my friend went
to go get a drink at the bar and she
texted me and said, I think your ex boyfriend is
behind you, and so I got so scared. But then
I finally like slowly turned my head and he was
(05:38):
and we had a fine breakup. So I just was like, Hi,
hadn't talked to him since, so I was like, Hi,
how are you? And he was so awkward. He was
on a date with another girl, and then I had
to stand in front of him in line by myself
for like maybe fifteen minutes till we got to the
front of the line. It's one of the worst moments.
And I said, are you want a date? And he
was like uh, And the girl was probably like yes,
(06:00):
I'm his girlfriend. Now they're married.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Oh. He ended up marrying the salmon sham and shirt girl, yeah,
which I'm so happy for them. A long time has passed.
I became friends with her sister here randomly. We're all
from Texas, and then her sister happens to live in
Nashville and is a friend of mine.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
What you're saying is, if you saw him in a
bar today, you wouldn't cry. Correct, Okay, Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I ran into him actually, because so it's Caroline Hobby
and her husband is in a band, A Thousand Horses,
And we had a concert years ago with KSE one
on one the country station in Austin, and A Thousand
Horses was playing and we all had to be there,
and my mom had recently passed away. And I walked
(06:42):
in and they were there obviously to support the band,
and I had not seen him forever and since I
had heard oh yeah, probably since the car ride, and
I guess he had heard about my mom. I mean,
I'm married, he's married, the whole thing. He said, I
was really sorry to hear about your mom, and I
was like, oh, thank you. And him and my mom
had a good relationship, and so that was really nice,
except for we had broken up once and then he
(07:06):
wrote me a letter to sort of get back together.
He tried to call me to actually talk to me.
After he graduated college, he'd moved to the East Coast
for a little bit because friend's dad owned this like
piping company, so he moved up there and was like
living that life.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And he called me.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
But I was so heartbroken the first time we broke
up with me, and my mom said, do not answer,
and I was like, you were with her when he called.
I was at her house and she said, don't answer.
So I didn't do it, and then I'll be darn.
I get a handwritten letter in the mail that was
so nice, thoughtful, and you know, I think if I
(07:47):
had answered, I don't know that I would have gotten
the letter. But you know, you play a little bit.
It's not as I was trying to play hard to get.
I wanted to answer, but my mom wouldn't let me.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
But you didn't reply to the letter.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah he did, and we got back together. Oh, and
then he broke up with me again. Like your mom
was right, So it just wasn't gonna work. That's where
your mom says, I told you so well. I know
that I wasn't in the healthiest place, like I had
a lot of work to do. I think I didn't
know how to manage some.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Of my stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I was probably what they call it energy vampire. Yeah,
just because I had so much going on. Sometimes I
could be fun to be around until I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And so then he breaks up with you, and then
he starts remembering all the good things about you and
that so he wants to get back together with you,
and then gets back together with you, and then he
feels the energy vampire and he's like to go back.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
She comes back like it can only hide her for
so long.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Back.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I mean, I've been the healing since then, so I
don't think that's the case. But I have a whole
thing I saw in the New York Post that literally
lays out how to tell if you're an energy vampire,
whether it's in a friendship, relationship, romantic at work. When
I went through this list, it was like, okay, yep,
check check participated.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So it's good to just know what these are.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And then if you can do a little personal email
and that way you can check yourself.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Or your boyfriend breaks up with you, wreck.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yourself, yeah, before you reckon ruin your entire life. Cara
is passionate about that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Kara, you're energy man hire.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay, so here we go. The first one is the chatterbox.
Have you ever left a conversation realizing that you did
most of the talking. You might be pushing your friends
away if you do that on a regular basis. I
think there are circumstances in which it's valid that you're
the chatterbox, depending on what's going on, maybe, but you
should be mindful.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I know I've definitely done it.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I mean, I know, like you I do. Are you
agreeing with me?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
No, I say, I do it too. I know You're
not alone.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I have done it, and I've even had friends like
share with me before. They don't know, I guess if
I have the bandwidth, and they try to be conscious
of that, but I guess I never checked to see
if they had the bandwidth for my download. So it's like,
if you need to be a chatterbox and you need
to vind about something or you need to talk a lot,
I don't know in your opinion, how do you ask
(10:07):
the friend just like straight.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Up, do you have a second space for this?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Do you have space for this? That's I like that
word space.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
I also think that that is so subjective, depending on
if you're calling a friend to process something or if
every time you're in a group of people you end
up kind of just taking over the conversation. Oh but
if it's like I kind of take over the conversation
when it's about me because I called you to talk
(10:35):
about me, that's not an energy suck. But if I'm
calling you all the time and you're never you never
have space for then you to call me, that would
be an energy suck.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Okay, I know that lately I've been calling you and
Patrick big P, Kat's husband, to talk about dating things,
and sometimes I feel like, oh, I've been doing this
a lot lately. And then I'm like, but maybe Big
P finds it entertaining, or maybe he's like, ugh, Kat,
your friend it together. But I also want to love
sure that, like I have space for y'all. Or if
(11:04):
Big P needs me, he can tell me whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
All right, Well let him know. Patrick. If you need Amy,
you can call her. Is he listening? Absolutely not? Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
His mom is though, so okay. Well, so he's okay
with it. He's entertaining, he loves it.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Every time. When I'm like Patrick, Amy's calling, my answer,
He's like, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But you even tell me right away?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hey, Patrick is around, I don't have it on speaker,
so say what you want, But if you want me
to put on speaker, I can.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Some things are not for him, and then some things
are nice to have his opinion, and some things are
just funny.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So, oh, I have a question for you. This just
popped in my head about a friend that was telling
me the other day that she confided in another friend
about something, and then later she realized the husband knew
about it, and she said, oh, well, I thought I
was just telling you, And she goes, oh, my husband
and I tell each other everything, so just FYI, And
I thought, okay, I can understand that if that's something
(11:55):
in your relationship that y'all do. I just think you
should tell your friends heads up before you tell me anything.
Need you to know I tell my husband everything, it
doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, And so.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
She was a little caught off guard. She's like, I
really didn't want him to know that about me.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
There are some things that I very much don't want
my friend's husbands to know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, Okay, So that's fair, that's a fair.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, if you're gonna tell your husband, one, tell him
not to let anybody know that they know. But really,
the good thing, the nice kind thing to do, would
be to say like, hey, do you mind if I
tell and so, because we tell each other everything, but
also I think we can look at our own part
of that where I would need to probably specifically say, hey,
(12:36):
this is just between us. I don't even want you
to tell your husband. Can you do that for me
versus assume. I think a lot of people do tell
each other everything, but that's not always the like kind
of a kind thing to do. Yeah, there's the.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Bummer, which another energy vampire is the manipulator. Another energy
vampire is the manipulator. Some people seem to only reach
out when they want something, whether it be an invite
(13:11):
or some advice. Oh, as a therapist, do you get that?
Like I'm friends or family that are like You're like,
wait a secon, I'm gonna talk to you forever, and
now why are you calling me? And you have this
one problem you want me to solve.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
But I don't even think of it as a bad
thing all the time, because like if I have a
I don't know, an uncle or a cousin or somebody
like that like that I don't talk to all the time,
that is like a plumber or something, and I have
a plumbing issue, I would probably call them before I
call it a stranger, just like I think they probably think, oh,
my niece or my cousin or my sister or whoever
(13:42):
is a therapist. So before I just go to the internet,
why don't I get Kat's opinion on this? If they
did that all the time, it would be one thing.
I'd just get your own therapist. But I think that's
not always a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
There's also the negative Nelly. Do you see the glass
half empty? Well, have to refill your cup and reframe
your mindset. Takes a lot out of your friends. Yeah,
if you're the negative Melly, I.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Think I feel that from people. I don't think that
that one is the one that I relate to, and
I don't see that in you either.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I don't know that that's one of my top go tos,
But I know there's times where I might be in
a negative space loop or space and I am bringing
that energy into another space, and I can tell that
I've done it, and I wish I could undo it,
and so I try to address it and say I'm sorry.
Sometimes in my own home that'll be like whether it's
like the kids are around or for somebody else is
here and I'm like, oh, sorry about this dark cloud
(14:35):
that's following me around. But then you realize I'm also
in control of that dark cloud. It doesn't have to
be there. The gossip. When you're always gossiping about others
and judging everyone, it can get tiring.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Yeah, that's all we're talking about, And if that is
how my friends are always showing up, I'm assuming that
they're doing that to me when I'm not around.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah about you, Yeah, the show boat. It's normal to
talk about your accomplishments with your friends, but some people
have a talent for turning every conversation around to brag
about themselves. So that can be I hope that's not
me Energy Vampire. Yeah, now that I look at that one,
I'm like, same.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I know that.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I was like, I think I've done all these but
I don't know that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I think we've probably all had times where we were
proud of something and talked about it, but I don't
think that's your personality.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Or really excited about something or an opportunity. That's where
I'm thinking I fit into the show about category, is like,
maybe something's coming up that, yeah, you're getting to do
because of an accomplishment in a way. So it's sort
of like you're bragging, but you're not. You're just excited
and it might be a little too much.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I feel like you don't talk about that stuff enough,
Like you've done some really cool things that like nobody
would find out about unless it wasn't like on Instagram
or something.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
What do you want to talk about?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Well, I'm just saying like I think you are overly
humble in that area.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Thanks from my experience the Eternal victim and martyr. You
always act like the victim or martyr, and your friends
might be done with you soon.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
If that's the case. That's really hard as a therapist too,
is it can be draining when your clients are always
in victim mode.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Can you give an example of what someone may say
when they're in victim mode?
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Well, it's not my fault. Victim mode is when you
show up as like helpless when we might not be
able to have control over everything, but there are things
in our lives that we have control over that we
can look at, what's my part? And when somebody never
can take or see their part in any situation.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Or what they need to do to get out of it,
and they use.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
A lot of all or nothing like it's always like
this or this's always happens.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I can't think ever goes to me.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Yeah, it's well, okay, we're kind of throwing a negative
blanket over everything. When that's not There are some really
good things in your life too, They're just harder to
see right now.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I'm trying to focus on those and then controlling what
you can control. I think that sometimes I can easily
slip into victim mode, which you know, we've talked about
the drama triangle and when you really start to pay
attention to that, and you sometimes the dances you might
be in with either your partner or a friend. Once
you see it, you can't unsee it. Yeah, but it's
cool because then you're like, oh, there's hope here. We
(17:09):
can work through this as long as both parties are
willing to work and when you're in the middle of it.
And that's something Ben and I would catch when we
were doing some of our intense marriage counseling before we
decided to ultimately divorce, Like, we were working on tools
which come in handy today as co parents. So we
get to take those tools that we learned and we
can see when we're in a pattern, or when we're
(17:31):
doing quote the dance, and it's like, oh, let's pause
because I can tell that I am in victim mode
right now, or I am in persecutor mode, or I'm
in like rescuer mode. Yeah, those are the three, right, Yeah, persecutor, rescuer, victim.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
All of us will end up as the victims. If
we get into that cycle, all we will always end
up as a victim.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And there are legit victim situations where you are the victim.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Right Playing the victim and being the victim are very different.
And also I will say this that I do understand
the person that place the victim. A lot of the
times it's because of the experiences they have had in
their life. And also, when you're a victim, you don't
have to do anything because in your mind you can't,
So you just get to stay there and hope that
(18:17):
other people change and do the work for you. So
I get why somebody would want to be in that space.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Sometimes when I've gotten stuck in victim mode in a relationship,
it's because the other person was stuck in rescuer.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Which people really like that.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, and then they're saving the day and then you're
and then you're being saved. You're being saved, so it's
like problem solved until it's like, oh, it's continuous. This
is exhausting, which is what energy vampires are. They suck
the life out of you. If you're the one doing it,
like eventually, it's probably a slower drip on you than
it is other people. Yeah, before you wrap, I do
(18:53):
want to share a really quick tip from Harvard what
to say, Like that isn't that from a movie or
something our TV show Havas But I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
No, Harvard, I know what you're saying. Did you think
I didn't know what you were saying?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Ah, I thought you would get that reference.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I don't even know. I just thought when you were
saying earlier, I thought you were just like trying to
have an accent. Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Well, they did this whole study and they said that
just spending ten minutes of listening to some soothing sounds
or music before bed can improve sleep quality. Which I
like that word quality because sometimes I think we just
look at the hours of sleep that we're getting. But
if you're in bed and think you're sleeping eight hours
and it's not quality sleep or six hours and it's
not quality, then it's birthless. Yeah, why even do it? So?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I want quantity and quality when.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
It comes to sleep. And I just thought, huh, I
don't know that I ever intentionally just listened to ten minutes.
Sometimes I'll put on some weird meditation thing or sleep
talk down, like on you YouTube if you just google sleep.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Sleep talk down. I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, Jason Jason Stevenson from I don't know Australia.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I was gonna say it is that an Australian accent.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
He's from somewhere down there and he has some really
good stuff that he'll just talk you to sleep. And
the music that's playing, it's all supposed to be soothing
and good for your subconscious to prepare your blauty and
your mind for rest.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
You're good at that.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Did you know I did the five minute meditation on
the podcast?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Did you do it with an Australian accent?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
No? Should I record another one?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I feel like those voices are more soothing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I did it inside of an episode, and it was
a shorter episode, but I did about a five minute
talk beforehand, just talking through why I was doing it
and then how when I got the idea of doing
a walking it's a walking meditation as the episode. I
wanted to find someone to come on and lead it,
and then I thought, well, I don't know, is there
a certification for this? I'm not sure. Most people I
(20:57):
listened to I think they just do them and they
just have more experience than I because I have none.
But there's always that first time. So I did a
five minute walking meditation. It's inside the episode, so I
want to remove it. Maybe just gather the five and
then drop it.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
In the feed.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
That way, anytime people want to do a quick five
minute walk, they can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I feel like you would have a good soothing voice
for meditations. Oh, your voice is easy to listen to.
You know, some people's it's not calming. I feel like
you would have a calming voice doing that.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We should do one together.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I don't think we need to do it together. Why
we could lead it together? So are we both talking
at the same time?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well, maybe I talk and then you talk and I say,
you know, take a deep breath in, and then.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
You say take I think that would be more.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Like I go in for four and you go out
for four.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
It's like a code it's like the world's worst meditation.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I think there's co meditators or two people teaching a
yoga class that are leading people through something.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Sure, but I don't think I've heard of co medita.
It's kind of a one man job or run woman job.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
What if it's a new thing, Okay, we'll start it anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Back to HAVD. I have the three.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Things you can do to add the soothing sounds to
your sleep routine. First of all, you got to choose
your music or your sounds, and you can find soft
music playlist to pick from, like nature Sounds, rain bird
Songs or their apps. Obviously, set the mood sound isn't
the only one aspect of the ideal sleep environment. You
(22:29):
also want your room to be dark and at a
cooler temperature. And then set a schedule, devote the last
ten minutes of your nightly routine to listening to the
relaxing sounds or music, and then let it do its
magic in hell.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Exhale all right, cat?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Where can people find you on Instagram?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
At kat Vamburen and at Uni Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And I am at Radio Amy and we are hoping
you have the day that you need to have and
I'm just gonna go ahead and say right here, if
you made it this far, Kat and I have a
surprise coming up soon. It's going to be sweet and
awesome fun. See how we could coe?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
I was gonna say, and it's not a commodotation app
but it could be.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I do you think that people on the fifth Thing
should sort of be the first to know they will
be the first toname because there are some people that
maybe just only listen to the Tuesday episode.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's all about us.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Because we're awesome. Okay?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Is that an energy vampire?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Gonna say? Which one? Did I hit?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
The prideful Patty poster?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Like negative Nelly, Yeah, pride.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Patty, which sounds kind of nice though.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Patty Confident, Condalisa.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Confident that is a name.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Confident Karen, but Karen's already has a right.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Karen is not a good connotation. Confident Carol.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Confident Kiki. I like that, Okay, Confident Kiki. We do
need to have confidence, which is what I had to
do to lead that meditation. I just had to believe in.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Myself and be like, Okay, this is confident. I can
do this.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm confident, Kiki. Here we go here, we go, but
in a healthy way, not a toxic way.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
I'm not prideful, Patty, I'm confident, Kiki, Okay, my
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat, and today's quote is turns out you can
just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Nobody checks.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Oh, we like that one for sure. Have you ever
bought yourself a birthday cake when it wasn't your birthday?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
I was gonna ask you that, I don't think I've
ever baked a cake for something that wasn't an event.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Well, you said baked, I said, bot do that mean? Well?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Okay, if I'm eating a cake, I want it to
be homemade. I don't love cake, so I don't like
store bought cake. So if I'm eating a cake, it's
gonna be like a homemade strawberry cake or a carrot cake.
I will say Jay Lexander's has the best carrot cake.
They get too warm, so good. Why are you making
that face like that's the.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Beause you said?
Speaker 1 (00:50):
You said, if I'm baking a cake or eating a cake,
I'm baking a carrot cake or strawberry cake.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And it's just very rare.
Speaker 3 (00:58):
You think.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Like carrot cake, I guess minus raisins, and would never.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Put raisins in it. Oh, the carrots have to be.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
No, no, no, did they have to?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Well then it's like a cinnamon cake.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Sure, like a spice cake.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah yeah, with a cream cheese frosting, and get down
with that. I have another quote that made me laugh
out loud when I saw it. He blocked me on everything,
So I applied to his job.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
See you in the morning.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Have you ever done anything crazy to a boyfriend or
ex boyfriend like that?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, like you're not to that extent. I've done
some things where I'm like really sad and looking back,
it's like, maybe you didn't need to send that text
or that email or go to that coffee shop. I
think I have too much of an ego to.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Apply at his job, and one of them seems like
a lot of work.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
The one guy that I would have done that too,
he owned the company, so that would be really weird.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Your application comes across his desk, He's like, I.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Already blocks you. You can't work here.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Wait did he block you?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes? He blocked my email, my phone. He blocked me
and all my family on his businesses Instagram. We could
not see this business's Instagram until wait.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Are you talking about the jerk that I know about?
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yes? Oh yeah, we couldn't.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
All of my family, all of my friends, what didn't
just block me? But it's because he did something bad,
is why he did that. It was not a reaction
to me. It was he didn't want me knowing any
or any of my friends knowing anything about his life
because he did something bad. But he eventually had to
sell his company and they unblocked all of us when
they transferred over, so I finally can see his business,
(02:33):
but I don't really care anymore. Oh, such a business
is Instagram. Yeah, yeah, that's a crazy thing to do
to block me on your businesses Instagram when you don't
even post anything about your own life.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Do you think it was coming from a place of
guilt or shame or just.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
With I think there was a lot of fear that
people were going to call him out or say something.
But none of my family or friends would have done
that because I would have been upset about it. So
I think it was probably fear and then yeah, a
lot of shame. But he wouldn't. I don't think would
have said that. He would have said you're crazy or
something like that. And I don't really know that he
has too much evidence of me being crazy.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
That's why you should never send a text or an email.
Keep your crazy vocal.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, yeah, keep it vocal, keep your crazy vocal. Yeah,
thank god most of If we did have any of that,
it was. But yeah, that is interesting to look back
and be like, yeah, I've been blocked. Shoot, I wonder
how many people have blocked us that we just don't
even know about.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
No, no, no, I'm trying to think of like the
last time I dated before I got married. I was
in my twenties, and that's the last time I got
my heart broken. It was the boyfriend before when I
dated Ben and then we got married, so it was
like the final boyfriend and I thought I was going
to marry him, and I did run into him total accident.
(03:50):
It's not like I wasn't at his job or he
didn't apply to work with him. We had gone out
and I had zero expectation of seeing him so much
so that it was completely caught off guard that I
did get a little crazy in the bar and just
started use that word.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
What really happened. You didn't get crazy, You got emotional.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Okay, I got emotional. Is crazy an emotion?
Speaker 3 (04:10):
No, it's not. And you said, I got crazy, But
that's not true. You're calling emotions crazy. That makes sense
that you got your heartbroken, then you saw him and
you cried.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Yeah, he'd already moved on too, And I knew right
away because there's no way he would have bought that
shirt he was wearing. She must have bought it for him.
It was cute, but he wouldn't have picked it out.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Is that why you cried?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I think it was just the realization of I had
not seen him, and then this evidence right in front
of me that she existed.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
At least he wasn't with her.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, she wasn't there. I would have had to turn
around and walk out, but we had some mutual friends,
so we just saw him. We tried to hang out,
and at the bar, I just start crying, and then
you know, he felt bad. And I think they were
just dating. I don't know exactly where they were in
the relationship. I mean dating is dating.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
But yeah, I think they were just dating.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Boyfriend girlfriend. We're going to be together forever. So I
think if she was there, felt for me and ended
up giving me a ride home, but it didn't change anything.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Okay, But I was thinking crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I was thinking I can win him over on this.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Oh that's funny. You know. One time after the other
guy that I was dating broke up with me, and
I went to Takary Adel Soul, a taco place after
work one day with some friends and my friend went
to go get a drink at the bar and she
texted me and said, I think your ex boyfriend is
behind you, and so I got so scared. But then
I finally like slowly turned my head and he was
(05:38):
and we had a fine breakup. So I just was like, Hi,
hadn't talked to him since, so I was like, Hi,
how are you? And he was so awkward. He was
on a date with another girl, and then I had
to stand in front of him in line by myself
for like maybe fifteen minutes till we got to the
front of the line. It's one of the worst moments.
And I said, are you want a date? And he
was like uh, And the girl was probably like yes,
(06:00):
I'm his girlfriend. Now they're married.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Oh. He ended up marrying the salmon sham and shirt girl, yeah,
which I'm so happy for them. A long time has passed.
I became friends with her sister here randomly. We're all
from Texas, and then her sister happens to live in
Nashville and is a friend of mine.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
What you're saying is, if you saw him in a
bar today, you wouldn't cry. Correct, Okay, Oh.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
I ran into him actually, because so it's Caroline Hobby
and her husband is in a band, A Thousand Horses,
And we had a concert years ago with KSE one
on one the country station in Austin, and A Thousand
Horses was playing and we all had to be there,
and my mom had recently passed away. And I walked
(06:42):
in and they were there obviously to support the band,
and I had not seen him forever and since I
had heard oh yeah, probably since the car ride, and
I guess he had heard about my mom. I mean,
I'm married, he's married, the whole thing. He said, I
was really sorry to hear about your mom, and I
was like, oh, thank you. And him and my mom
had a good relationship, and so that was really nice,
except for we had broken up once and then he
(07:06):
wrote me a letter to sort of get back together.
He tried to call me to actually talk to me.
After he graduated college, he'd moved to the East Coast
for a little bit because friend's dad owned this like
piping company, so he moved up there and was like
living that life.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
And he called me.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
But I was so heartbroken the first time we broke
up with me, and my mom said, do not answer,
and I was like, you were with her when he called.
I was at her house and she said, don't answer.
So I didn't do it, and then I'll be darn.
I get a handwritten letter in the mail that was
so nice, thoughtful, and you know, I think if I
(07:47):
had answered, I don't know that I would have gotten
the letter. But you know, you play a little bit.
It's not as I was trying to play hard to get.
I wanted to answer, but my mom wouldn't let me.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
But you didn't reply to the letter.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah he did, and we got back together. Oh, and
then he broke up with me again. Like your mom
was right, So it just wasn't gonna work. That's where
your mom says, I told you so well. I know
that I wasn't in the healthiest place, like I had
a lot of work to do. I think I didn't
know how to manage some.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Of my stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
I was probably what they call it energy vampire. Yeah,
just because I had so much going on. Sometimes I
could be fun to be around until I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And so then he breaks up with you, and then
he starts remembering all the good things about you and
that so he wants to get back together with you,
and then gets back together with you, and then he
feels the energy vampire and he's like to go back.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
She comes back like it can only hide her for
so long.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Back.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
I mean, I've been the healing since then, so I
don't think that's the case. But I have a whole
thing I saw in the New York Post that literally
lays out how to tell if you're an energy vampire,
whether it's in a friendship, relationship, romantic at work. When
I went through this list, it was like, okay, yep,
check check participated.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
So it's good to just know what these are.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
And then if you can do a little personal email
and that way you can check yourself.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Or your boyfriend breaks up with you, wreck.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yourself, yeah, before you reckon ruin your entire life. Cara
is passionate about that.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Kara, you're energy man hire.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay, so here we go. The first one is the chatterbox.
Have you ever left a conversation realizing that you did
most of the talking. You might be pushing your friends
away if you do that on a regular basis. I
think there are circumstances in which it's valid that you're
the chatterbox, depending on what's going on, maybe, but you
should be mindful.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
I do that a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I know I've definitely done it.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I mean, I know, like you I do. Are you
agreeing with me?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
No, I say, I do it too. I know You're
not alone.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I have done it, and I've even had friends like
share with me before. They don't know, I guess if
I have the bandwidth, and they try to be conscious
of that, but I guess I never checked to see
if they had the bandwidth for my download. So it's like,
if you need to be a chatterbox and you need
to vind about something or you need to talk a lot,
I don't know in your opinion, how do you ask
(10:07):
the friend just like straight.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Up, do you have a second space for this?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Do you have space for this? That's I like that
word space.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
I also think that that is so subjective, depending on
if you're calling a friend to process something or if
every time you're in a group of people you end
up kind of just taking over the conversation. Oh but
if it's like I kind of take over the conversation
when it's about me because I called you to talk
(10:35):
about me, that's not an energy suck. But if I'm
calling you all the time and you're never you never
have space for then you to call me, that would
be an energy suck.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Okay, I know that lately I've been calling you and
Patrick big P, Kat's husband, to talk about dating things,
and sometimes I feel like, oh, I've been doing this
a lot lately. And then I'm like, but maybe Big
P finds it entertaining, or maybe he's like, ugh, Kat,
your friend it together. But I also want to love
sure that, like I have space for y'all. Or if
(11:04):
Big P needs me, he can tell me whatever.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
All right, Well let him know. Patrick. If you need Amy,
you can call her. Is he listening? Absolutely not? Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:13):
His mom is though, so okay. Well, so he's okay
with it. He's entertaining, he loves it.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
Every time. When I'm like Patrick, Amy's calling, my answer,
He's like, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
But you even tell me right away?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Hey, Patrick is around, I don't have it on speaker,
so say what you want, But if you want me
to put on speaker, I can.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Some things are not for him, and then some things
are nice to have his opinion, and some things are
just funny.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So, oh, I have a question for you. This just
popped in my head about a friend that was telling
me the other day that she confided in another friend
about something, and then later she realized the husband knew
about it, and she said, oh, well, I thought I
was just telling you, And she goes, oh, my husband
and I tell each other everything, so just FYI, And
I thought, okay, I can understand that if that's something
(11:55):
in your relationship that y'all do. I just think you
should tell your friends heads up before you tell me anything.
Need you to know I tell my husband everything, it
doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
Yeah, And so.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
She was a little caught off guard. She's like, I
really didn't want him to know that about me.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
There are some things that I very much don't want
my friend's husbands to know.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Right, Okay, So that's fair, that's a fair.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, if you're gonna tell your husband, one, tell him
not to let anybody know that they know. But really,
the good thing, the nice kind thing to do, would
be to say like, hey, do you mind if I
tell and so, because we tell each other everything, but
also I think we can look at our own part
of that where I would need to probably specifically say, hey,
(12:36):
this is just between us. I don't even want you
to tell your husband. Can you do that for me
versus assume. I think a lot of people do tell
each other everything, but that's not always the like kind
of a kind thing to do. Yeah, there's the.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Bummer, which another energy vampire is the manipulator. Another energy
vampire is the manipulator. Some people seem to only reach
out when they want something, whether it be an invite
(13:11):
or some advice. Oh, as a therapist, do you get that?
Like I'm friends or family that are like You're like,
wait a secon, I'm gonna talk to you forever, and
now why are you calling me? And you have this
one problem you want me to solve.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
But I don't even think of it as a bad
thing all the time, because like if I have a
I don't know, an uncle or a cousin or somebody
like that like that I don't talk to all the time,
that is like a plumber or something, and I have
a plumbing issue, I would probably call them before I
call it a stranger, just like I think they probably think, oh,
my niece or my cousin or my sister or whoever
(13:42):
is a therapist. So before I just go to the internet,
why don't I get Kat's opinion on this? If they
did that all the time, it would be one thing.
I'd just get your own therapist. But I think that's
not always a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
There's also the negative Nelly. Do you see the glass
half empty? Well, have to refill your cup and reframe
your mindset. Takes a lot out of your friends. Yeah,
if you're the negative Melly, I.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Think I feel that from people. I don't think that
that one is the one that I relate to, and
I don't see that in you either.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
I don't know that that's one of my top go tos,
But I know there's times where I might be in
a negative space loop or space and I am bringing
that energy into another space, and I can tell that
I've done it, and I wish I could undo it,
and so I try to address it and say I'm sorry.
Sometimes in my own home that'll be like whether it's
like the kids are around or for somebody else is
here and I'm like, oh, sorry about this dark cloud
(14:35):
that's following me around. But then you realize I'm also
in control of that dark cloud. It doesn't have to
be there. The gossip. When you're always gossiping about others
and judging everyone, it can get tiring.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
Yeah, that's all we're talking about, And if that is
how my friends are always showing up, I'm assuming that
they're doing that to me when I'm not around.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Yeah about you, Yeah, the show boat. It's normal to
talk about your accomplishments with your friends, but some people
have a talent for turning every conversation around to brag
about themselves. So that can be I hope that's not
me Energy Vampire. Yeah, now that I look at that one,
I'm like, same.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I know that.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I was like, I think I've done all these but
I don't know that.
Speaker 3 (15:15):
I think we've probably all had times where we were
proud of something and talked about it, but I don't
think that's your personality.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Or really excited about something or an opportunity. That's where
I'm thinking I fit into the show about category, is like,
maybe something's coming up that, yeah, you're getting to do
because of an accomplishment in a way. So it's sort
of like you're bragging, but you're not. You're just excited
and it might be a little too much.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
I feel like you don't talk about that stuff enough,
Like you've done some really cool things that like nobody
would find out about unless it wasn't like on Instagram
or something.
Speaker 1 (15:46):
What do you want to talk about?
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Well, I'm just saying like I think you are overly
humble in that area.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Thanks from my experience the Eternal victim and martyr. You
always act like the victim or martyr, and your friends
might be done with you soon.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
If that's the case. That's really hard as a therapist too,
is it can be draining when your clients are always
in victim mode.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Can you give an example of what someone may say
when they're in victim mode?
Speaker 3 (16:14):
Well, it's not my fault. Victim mode is when you
show up as like helpless when we might not be
able to have control over everything, but there are things
in our lives that we have control over that we
can look at, what's my part? And when somebody never
can take or see their part in any situation.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Or what they need to do to get out of it,
and they use.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
A lot of all or nothing like it's always like
this or this's always happens.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
I can't think ever goes to me.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Yeah, it's well, okay, we're kind of throwing a negative
blanket over everything. When that's not There are some really
good things in your life too, They're just harder to
see right now.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
I'm trying to focus on those and then controlling what
you can control. I think that sometimes I can easily
slip into victim mode, which you know, we've talked about
the drama triangle and when you really start to pay
attention to that, and you sometimes the dances you might
be in with either your partner or a friend. Once
you see it, you can't unsee it. Yeah, but it's
cool because then you're like, oh, there's hope here. We
(17:09):
can work through this as long as both parties are
willing to work and when you're in the middle of it.
And that's something Ben and I would catch when we
were doing some of our intense marriage counseling before we
decided to ultimately divorce, Like, we were working on tools
which come in handy today as co parents. So we
get to take those tools that we learned and we
can see when we're in a pattern, or when we're
(17:31):
doing quote the dance, and it's like, oh, let's pause
because I can tell that I am in victim mode
right now, or I am in persecutor mode, or I'm
in like rescuer mode. Yeah, those are the three, right, Yeah, persecutor, rescuer, victim.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
All of us will end up as the victims. If
we get into that cycle, all we will always end
up as a victim.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And there are legit victim situations where you are the victim.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
Right Playing the victim and being the victim are very different.
And also I will say this that I do understand
the person that place the victim. A lot of the
times it's because of the experiences they have had in
their life. And also, when you're a victim, you don't
have to do anything because in your mind you can't,
So you just get to stay there and hope that
(18:17):
other people change and do the work for you. So
I get why somebody would want to be in that space.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Sometimes when I've gotten stuck in victim mode in a relationship,
it's because the other person was stuck in rescuer.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
Which people really like that.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah, and then they're saving the day and then you're
and then you're being saved. You're being saved, so it's
like problem solved until it's like, oh, it's continuous. This
is exhausting, which is what energy vampires are. They suck
the life out of you. If you're the one doing it,
like eventually, it's probably a slower drip on you than
it is other people. Yeah, before you wrap, I do
(18:53):
want to share a really quick tip from Harvard what
to say, Like that isn't that from a movie or
something our TV show Havas But I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
No, Harvard, I know what you're saying. Did you think
I didn't know what you were saying?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Ah, I thought you would get that reference.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
I don't even know. I just thought when you were
saying earlier, I thought you were just like trying to
have an accent. Oh.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Well, they did this whole study and they said that
just spending ten minutes of listening to some soothing sounds
or music before bed can improve sleep quality. Which I
like that word quality because sometimes I think we just
look at the hours of sleep that we're getting. But
if you're in bed and think you're sleeping eight hours
and it's not quality sleep or six hours and it's
not quality, then it's birthless. Yeah, why even do it? So?
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I want quantity and quality when.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
It comes to sleep. And I just thought, huh, I
don't know that I ever intentionally just listened to ten minutes.
Sometimes I'll put on some weird meditation thing or sleep
talk down, like on you YouTube if you just google sleep.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Sleep talk down. I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, Jason Jason Stevenson from I don't know Australia.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I was gonna say it is that an Australian accent.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
He's from somewhere down there and he has some really
good stuff that he'll just talk you to sleep. And
the music that's playing, it's all supposed to be soothing
and good for your subconscious to prepare your blauty and
your mind for rest.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
You're good at that.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Did you know I did the five minute meditation on
the podcast?
Speaker 3 (20:28):
Did you do it with an Australian accent?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
No? Should I record another one?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
I feel like those voices are more soothing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
I did it inside of an episode, and it was
a shorter episode, but I did about a five minute
talk beforehand, just talking through why I was doing it
and then how when I got the idea of doing
a walking it's a walking meditation as the episode. I
wanted to find someone to come on and lead it,
and then I thought, well, I don't know, is there
a certification for this? I'm not sure. Most people I
(20:57):
listened to I think they just do them and they
just have more experience than I because I have none.
But there's always that first time. So I did a
five minute walking meditation. It's inside the episode, so I
want to remove it. Maybe just gather the five and
then drop it.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
In the feed.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
That way, anytime people want to do a quick five
minute walk, they can do it.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
I feel like you would have a good soothing voice
for meditations. Oh, your voice is easy to listen to.
You know, some people's it's not calming. I feel like
you would have a calming voice doing that.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
We should do one together.
Speaker 3 (21:28):
I don't think we need to do it together. Why
we could lead it together? So are we both talking
at the same time?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well, maybe I talk and then you talk and I say,
you know, take a deep breath in, and then.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
You say take I think that would be more.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Like I go in for four and you go out
for four.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
It's like a code it's like the world's worst meditation.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
I think there's co meditators or two people teaching a
yoga class that are leading people through something.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
Sure, but I don't think I've heard of co medita.
It's kind of a one man job or run woman job.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
What if it's a new thing, Okay, we'll start it anyway.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Back to HAVD. I have the three.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Things you can do to add the soothing sounds to
your sleep routine. First of all, you got to choose
your music or your sounds, and you can find soft
music playlist to pick from, like nature Sounds, rain bird
Songs or their apps. Obviously, set the mood sound isn't
the only one aspect of the ideal sleep environment. You
(22:29):
also want your room to be dark and at a
cooler temperature. And then set a schedule, devote the last
ten minutes of your nightly routine to listening to the
relaxing sounds or music, and then let it do its
magic in hell.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Exhale all right, cat?
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Where can people find you on Instagram?
Speaker 3 (22:52):
At kat Vamburen and at Uni Therapy podcast.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
And I am at Radio Amy and we are hoping
you have the day that you need to have and
I'm just gonna go ahead and say right here, if
you made it this far, Kat and I have a
surprise coming up soon. It's going to be sweet and
awesome fun. See how we could coe?
Speaker 3 (23:10):
I was gonna say, and it's not a commodotation app
but it could be.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I do you think that people on the fifth Thing
should sort of be the first to know they will
be the first toname because there are some people that
maybe just only listen to the Tuesday episode.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's all about us.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Because we're awesome. Okay?
Speaker 1 (23:30):
Is that an energy vampire?
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Gonna say? Which one? Did I hit?
Speaker 2 (23:34):
The prideful Patty poster?
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Like negative Nelly, Yeah, pride.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Patty, which sounds kind of nice though.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Patty Confident, Condalisa.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Confident that is a name.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Confident Karen, but Karen's already has a right.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Karen is not a good connotation. Confident Carol.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Confident Kiki. I like that, Okay, Confident Kiki. We do
need to have confidence, which is what I had to
do to lead that meditation. I just had to believe in.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Myself and be like, Okay, this is confident. I can
do this.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I'm confident, Kiki. Here we go here, we go, but
in a healthy way, not a toxic way.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
I'm not prideful, Patty, I'm confident, Kiki, Okay, my
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.