September 3, 2020 • 31 mins
FIRST THING: Are you ever stuck in the mode of human doing instead of human being? Amy shares her experience with this and the things she's implementing so that she can have more control of her days and be a human that's "being" over "doing." SECOND THING: Amy watched an episode of The Tim Ferriss Show on YouTube called ‘Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages and More’ with Brene Brown as the guest. Brene shared a relationship hack with Tim that Amy thought was genius and she has already been working it into her marriage...but Amy thinks this hack could work with business relationships & some friendships as well. THIRD THING: Can a compliment be a bad thing?? It can actually be really damaging when you’re commenting on the size of someone's body. Amy shares another example to drive home this point for those that maybe quite don't understand just yet how it can be harmful. FOURTH THING: Do you online shop? Amy is passing along a tip that you can try to possibly save money when shopping online!
To check out items mentioned in this episode:
The Tim Ferriss Show Episode https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wh5SUF0gPWQ
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth kicking. Four
(00:32):
Happy Thursday, everybody. Amy here and appreciate y'all listening into
those of you that have subscribed and rated and reviewed
and all that stuff. I just want to say thank
you right now. I don't feel like I recognize that
all the time, but it's not lost on me those
of you that take the time to do that, and
it's super special. Even if there is some constructive criticism,
(00:53):
I can handle it over there. So share with me
what you will, although maybe you could email me the
constructive criticism and then post a nice review with all
the stars if you want. I mean, maybe you're not
there yet, but once you decide that you're ready for that, um,
you could put it up there and then yeah. Four
things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com. I get
emails often that advised me on things or suggest things
(01:18):
that I could be doing better, and I feel like
I take that stuff well as long as it's presented
in a kind way. I appreciate your feedback. So the
first thing that we get into in today's episode is
human doing versus human being, which is something that I've
been working on, and today's episode is very diverse. I
(01:38):
will say, no thing is really related to any other
thing that I talk about, and it's just me on
the episode. I don't have any guests. But each thing
that I talked about is something that's just been top
of mind for me lately, or something I'm working through,
or something that I saw that I wanted to share
with you. So that's what today's episode is all about.
But the human doing versus human being is some thing
(02:00):
I am really personally working on. And then this morning
on Instagram, my friend Brittany Kelly that I follow has
a company called Tribe Kelly, really cool clothing line if
you want to check it out. I love their stuff.
But she posted ten tricks to be much more productive,
and I thought, oh, this could have kind of flowed
in with my talk on human doing versus human being, because,
(02:25):
as you'll hear in the first thing, there's some planning,
like life planning that goes into that, and a lot
of times we get into a a doing mode. We're
just checking things off the list, and we're really not
being as productive with our days as possible. Because what
happens with me is my days end up ruling me.
I don't end up ruling my day. And so I thought,
(02:47):
as a little bonus here in the intro, to tie
in with the first thing that you're gonna hear in
just a minute, I would read off to you these
ten tricks to be much more productive. So the first
thing that it said was get up two hours earlier.
And now, for me, I already wake up super early.
So I think this is kind of relative to what
you think you need to do in your life. Maybe
you need more time, but you don't need two hours worth.
(03:08):
Maybe you need an hour or thirty minutes. For me,
I think I just need to I'm already waking up
early enough, but I just need to organize and prioritize
when I'm doing what. But also, sleep is super important.
So if you do realize that you need to get
up early to tackle more of the day, make sure
you're going to bed at a decent time and not
just staying up late for no reason or watching too
(03:30):
much Netflix or even reading. As great as reading is
for you, you've got to have a cut off and
make sure you're getting adequate sleep. The second thing it
mentions is do the most important thing in the morning. Well,
for me, I'm on a morning show, which that job
is pretty important. But I don't really have a choice
what I do in the morning. But I guess I
could get up earlier and tackle some things that I
(03:51):
needed to get done. But my husband does this when
he's making a list. He will just write down everything
he needs to do in no particular order, and then
he goes back through and puts a number next to
it one, two, three, four, and it will be all
over the place, but he prioritizes and then he tackles
one first and then he moves on to number two
(04:11):
and that's how he's able to handle his day better.
And he was in the military, so he knows something
about structure being productive. Uh. Then at number three here
it suggests that you focus on your progress, not just
the outcome, because if you just keep focusing on what
needs to get done at the end, uh, then you
(04:33):
won't appreciate the little steps that you've taken along the
way to get there. And number four, stop complaining about
not having enough time, because I'm definitely guilty of that.
Number five, take time to plan and prioritize, which you'll
hear that coming up In the first thing, that's huge.
I keep hearing all the time that that's what people
do to help be better. You got to make time
(04:55):
to plan, focus on minutes, not hours. So if you
get over whelmed by something, then divide things up and
really take it minute by minute. Avoid multitasking. Oh man,
I'm not good at that. I'm multitask like crazy, and
I'm not good at it. I'm not good at multitasking,
but I'm not good at avoiding the multitasking. Set routines
(05:16):
that will free up your brain power. I am getting
into more of a routine. And what we're trying to
do also with our kids is create more of a
routine because they thrive off of that. And it makes
sense if you think about it, and so it sounds
like even as adults we can thrive off of that
as well. Number nine, let go of imperfections and kickstart anyway.
(05:38):
So if you're scared of doing something because you don't
feel like you're gonna be able to do it right,
just do it anyways. See what happens. And at number ten,
leave some free time in your schedule, which there'll be
a little bit more on that coming up. In the
first thing, but I just wanted to share this again
as a little bonus since I saw a pop up
in my Instagram stories and I thought somebody might need
(05:59):
to hear that. Okay, So then the second thing we
get into is more of a relationship talk. And while
it is about a marriage relationship or in even dating
in the case of what people, the people that are
talking on playing a clip from YouTube with it, but
I really feel like this could apply to a work
(06:21):
relationship or something like that, anything where you have a
relationship with someone, we're working on something and sharing life together.
In some way, shape or form, you could apply it.
The third thing is I share with you another reason
why we should stop commenting on the size of someone's body,
and this is one thing that might finally resonate with
(06:42):
some of you if it hasn't before. And then for
the fourth thing, it is a very random online shopping tip,
so that I thought, I'm always looking out for you guys,
and I want to make sure that you can get
the deals too, So I share with you something that
I saw online and hey, you never know if it
might work and savior a little bit of money. So
(07:03):
that is today's episode. In a nutshell, I have been
getting a few emails about our four Things Fall pullovers.
We did one last year had All Things Fall and
it was burnt orange and it was like fall leaves,
cozy weather sweaters, pumpkin spice. And I will say, for
those of you that are my podcast listeners, you're kind
(07:24):
of getting a sneak peek. We are going to be
releasing that again next weekend Saturday, September twelve, and we're
coming up with a second option too, so we'll have
the burnt orange one and then we will have a
a new color, and so be on the lookout for that.
It's my new favorite. I was a big fan of
the orange one, but I really feel like this other
(07:46):
color we have in the works, with totally different four
things is going to be so cute. So make sure
you're following shop spat on Instagram so you don't miss that.
I run that account at shop Spoa. And then if
you're not following me on Instagram, mine is at Radio
Amy and I would love to see you over there,
and then radio amy dot com. If you're looking for
(08:08):
anything else that you might be interested in, you never know,
like my Amazon page, anything, the Bobby Bones Show. There's
some blog stuff up there as well. So I hope
y'all are doing great, and thank you for listening. And
here's today's four things. Here you go. First, So, in
a therapy session that I had a few weeks ago,
my therapist said, look, you're in a human doing mode
(08:30):
right now. You're not in a human being mode. And
I thought, okay, yeah, I don't know that I fully
understand that, but I would say that you're right. I
feel like I'm just doing doing, doing, checking things off
my list with really no rhyme or reason, but kind
of going to bed every night, like I know I
accomplished things today, but I don't really know what, and
I just don't even feel like I connected with anyone
(08:50):
or anything, including my family and my kids, because I
just had been in kind of a survival mode of sorts,
and I know a lot of you might be in
a similar place. We all go through different things, but
when we get in that human doing mode, it can
be hard to break it. So I wanted to share
with you all what I've been working on to be
(09:12):
more of a human being and less of a human
doing without getting too overwhelmed by the whole process. Now,
the first thing that I've started working on is a
personal mission statement for myself, like knowing where I'm going,
why I want to do that, and how I'm going
to get there. And my husband is also in some
(09:33):
therapy stuff right now too, and he got out of
his session the other names like, you know what, I'm
going to come up with my own personal mission statement,
and I thought, stop it. I just thought I'm going
to do that for myself. So now we're both working
on mission statements for ourselves, and then we want to
work on a mission statement for our family and what
our goals are there too, so not only personally, but
(09:57):
also completely separate different one as a family unit. So
that is my encouragement to you to start there. And
that's really focused on yourself, but I also think it's
important to focus on others. My mom used to tell me,
I remember specifically one time in college. She told me
multiple times, But I think in college I was just
completely focused in on myself and my problems and everything
(10:19):
I had going on, and I couldn't get past all
of these things that were wrong with me, and I
was on the phone with her complaining, inventing, and I mean,
that's what moms are good for. But then she hit
me with the wisdom of you know, I think what
you need to do right now is go find a
way to help others and take the focus off of you.
So I really feel like focusing and serving others is
(10:42):
a really great way to be a part of the
human being experience. And I came across this Chinese proverb
that I want to share with you all real quick.
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If
you want happiness for a month, get married. You want
happiness for a year inherit a fortune. If you want
(11:03):
happiness for a lifetime, help somebody else. So just chuck
that away, keep it in your back pocket, something to
think about. I really feel like there is a lifetime
of happiness when we can take time to shift the
focus off ourselves and focus on others that might need
our help. But don't ignore yourself and all that you
need to do. So first thing mission statement for yourself,
(11:26):
maybe even for your marriage or your family or whatever
that looks like. Also make sure you're taking time regularly
to shift focus to help others. Then another thing that
I have found in my process of learning how to
try to be more of a human being is scheduling
down time. So it seems weird to plan this out,
but it's imperative. Like I wanted to go to this
(11:49):
park by our house a couple of weeks ago. Every
day I wanted to go, it never happened. Everything just
kept coming up, things just kept piling on. But you
know what, I never really made a firm schedule to
make it happen. I was just hopeful that every day
I would get there, and I knew it would be
good for my soul to just be out in nature,
outside with the trees, with the water, breathing in fresh air.
(12:11):
That's what I needed. And a week came and went
and I remember looking at Ben, my husband, and I said,
I never even made it there this week. And that
is what I told you at the beginning of the week.
The one thing I knew I needed to do for
myself never happened. So in the following week, as I
was trying to put in the work to change course
of how I was living, I scheduled a walk with
a friend. And then I was held more accountable and
(12:33):
I had a date and met her there and it
was so great. It was just what I needed, and
it was in the middle of the week. I think
it was a Wednesday afternoon at three o'clock, but I
had it on my calendar and I went and it
revived me. So I feel like scheduling your downtime and
getting outside especially is super imperative and really really helpful.
(12:57):
I scheduled a Saturday where I told myself, I am
not looking at my email. I'm not even getting on
my computer. There's some stuff I know that I'm gonna
to do on my phone, but I'm not opening my
computer now. Did make Sunday a little bit crazy because
there was some stuff I guess. I closed my computer
at some point on Friday and then didn't open it
up again until Sunday, and I thought, Okay, UM, probably
(13:18):
feel a little overwhelmed with some stuff that I was
trying to gather together for the kids too, because their
school emails start to come in and there's just stuff
we have to stay on top of. And I felt
a little overwhelmed, but it was fine. I didn't freak
out as much as if I hadn't had the break,
like I think. The break was good for me, and
I remember looking up at my husband while we were
having coffee kind of going over our calendar for the week,
(13:40):
which we do that now on Sundays, and I said,
I don't know. I feel sorry. I feel a little
bit behind. I was like, I'm even open my computer yesterday.
He said I didn't either, And you know what, when
I look back on that Saturday and how we spent
it as a family, it was a really great day.
So I would encourage you to schedule that downtime whatever
it looks like for you, and then yeah, definitely schedule
(14:01):
in some electronic free moments and then plan time to plan.
This one sounded weird to me because I've never been
much of a planner. I mean, sometimes I make lists,
but then I like to make other lists, and then
I lose the list, and then my A D D
takes me somewhere else and I abandoned that list for
a better list, and then I dropped the ball. And
that's not effective, especially when people are relying on you.
(14:23):
So now I'm planning time to plan. And again, like
I said, my husband and I are now sitting down
on Sundays and we're getting out the calendar. I'm more
of a plan for the week ahead. Person. From the
research that I've done, there's people that plan every morning.
They spend the first hour of their morning planning each day,
but it makes their day super efficient, and then when
it's time for them to shut it down, they're able
(14:45):
to shut it down. They get the stuff done that
they need to, and then they get to be human being.
So I'm not really of that mindset. I don't want
to plan every day, but I can plan once a
week for the week. And then there's other people this
might be more your style. You take one day out
of the month and you plan out your entire month,
if you're able to do that and what it's going
to look like, and apparently it's pretty amazing. But right
(15:08):
now I'm taking it week to week, which I'm still
not there yet. By the way, I don't even have
the whole week to week thing down. There's still some
things where I don't have stuff nailed down, and I'm
hitting up people the day before like, hey, what does
tomorrow look like, Let's do this, which I really would
like to have it where the whole week before it's
all planned out. I just want to make sure I
clarify I do not have this system down. Just encouraging
(15:30):
y'all with things that I have been finding online and
in podcasts and from a couple of people that I've
talked to, like what is most effective? And there was
tons of stuff, By the way, I've kind of whittled
it down to stuff that I think could be helpful
for you. Another thing that we can start doing is
honing our skills. Spend some time to do that so
that you can get better at what you do. And
(15:53):
it could be even honing your skills to get like
with this stuff, at being a human being instead of
just a human doing, so that you're better at life
in general. But really, what is your trade? What do
you do? What are you into? How can you be better?
How can you be more efficient? You can do that
through reading documentaries, podcasts, listening to audio books. How can
you learn and absorb some more information to make you better?
(16:17):
And then really just getting in time management stuff, getting
all that in order. Knowing your personal gifts and then
also knowing your limitations I think is super important because
sometimes I take on something like oh, yeah, I think
I can do that, and then I really can't, So
I should have just said no, figured somebody else out
to do it, delegated it, or somebody could have found
somebody else to do it. I'm bad at that. So
(16:40):
understanding what are your limitations. Maybe it's limitation because of time,
or maybe it's limitation because of knowledge or skill, and
that's okay. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. So
these are just some of the things that I am
personally implementing it my life for being more of a
human being instead of a human doing type person. And
I thought they might be helpful for you, and I
(17:02):
hope that they are. Let's talk relationships and this could
be your spouse, your partner, your boyfriend, your coworker. Really,
I think this could apply to any relationship, although where
I learned this, they were talking specifically about romantic relationships.
(17:22):
So I was on Tim Ferris's YouTube channel and he
had Rene Brown on, so I started watching it and
the episode is called Striving Versus Self Acceptance, Saving Marriages
and More. It's the Tim Ferris Show again, and the
audio I'm going to share with you from that, I
mean stuck with me. My husband and I have started
working this into how we tackle our days and I
(17:46):
had never heard of this before. This was something where
it was such an AHA moment for me. But it
seems so simple and it makes so much sense, and
I'm like, why are people not screaming this from the rooftops?
And maybe they are and I have missed did. But
I'm going to share with you something that Tim Ferris
does with his girlfriend, and then Burnet comes in and
shares what she does with her husband, and it's genius.
(18:10):
So I want you'all to listen to it and then
think about working it into your relationships, because I really
feel like a lot of times with me and my husband,
we're not communicating about where we are in our days
and how stressed out we are, or the load that
we have, or what we're feeling or what we're going on,
and we just have these expectations that the other person
can just come and pick up the slack, but we
(18:30):
don't communicate about it. And now after listening to this,
you'll understand what I'm talking about. My husband and I can,
you know, talk to each other and say, hey, I'm
operating at about where are you today? And if he
happens to be at then great, he can pick up
my slack. He may not be, and then we need
to sit down and really come up with a plan
(18:52):
of how we're going to survive the day, the week,
the month, or whatever that may look like. So here
you go. This is what I heard Burnet and Tim
Ferris talking about, and I'm obsessed with it in the
last say five years. With the right tools and the
right prompts and the right books and the right accountability
partners like my girlfriend, who's a very well developed em
(19:16):
path and a very clean fighter, which is really important, huge, huge,
and one thing that she does really well that has
been instrumental for me. She's been the clearest mirror maybe
I've ever had in the sense that I have my stuff,
she has her stuff. I have my scripts and my sensitivities,
many of which are out of date. And we set
(19:37):
time to do what we call batch ng. So rather
than having lots of interspersed criticisms or constructive pieces of
feedback that may not be taken the best away by
by me, especially at three pm on a weekday, we'll
set time aside to sit down and we will take turns.
(19:58):
And this is a format. It may not be the
best format, but it's something we came up with that
works for us, where we'll tell the other person what
they're doing well, like what they're really doing well, what
we think we are doing well, and then we'll ask
for what we would like more of. And in that
format you can start to spot patterns. Right, So, if
you do that once a week or every two weeks,
(20:21):
certain things come up and I'm like, oh, well, the
first time you said that, I thought it was just
an exception, But now I realized that is a pattern
that I have a right when X, Y and Z happens,
I go, uh, like, let's talk about it later. I
don't want to deal with it now, And I sort
of shove off certain types of topics or questions, and
then you can you can begin to experiment with working
(20:43):
on alternatives. And the reason I'm saying all this is
just because I don't I don't want people to feel
like the curiosity. If you're willing to take that first
step about your patterns, you're programming these additate strategies and
armor does not necessarily lead to you trying to run
an ultram I thought with a blindfold on, Like, there
are actually tools and resources and books and methods that
(21:05):
can be really, really, really helpful in short order, and
you'll be surprised. I mean, it's really like, it's like
putting off the mammogram, are you know, the prostate check
or whatever it is that you have to do, putting
it off, putting it off, all the scary stories, You
collect as many horrible things as you can, and then
you go and you're like, Wow, the fear leading up
(21:25):
to this was so much greater. I mean, I'm not
saying it's not gonna hurt. It's it's gonna hurt, but
I do think. I mean, the two hacks that we have.
Steve and I have been together for thirty two years,
date off and on for seven years, and married for
whatever the delta is there or whatever we right now,
hardest thing I've ever done, hands down, hardest thing I've
(21:46):
ever done. I'll hear me out there, hardiest thing. He
and I both come from our parents, marriages on both sides, divorce,
remarried several times. We had no idea what it was
supposed to look like, right, We just we're willing to
keep showing up and the conversations like you and your
girlfriend have, we do that too. It's uncanny how similar
it is. Yeah, yeah, especially what we want more of,
(22:09):
what's really working. I really appreciated this this week. Um,
we try not to if it unless it needs to
be done in real time, we'll usually wait until we're
in a good place to do it, you know. And
and and I don't know. I don't think that he
saw dirty fighting. But all I saw was dirty fighting.
I'm like shame, humiliation, put downs, you know, stuff that
(22:30):
leaves marks, stuff that you can't and I and I
can default there. When I'm in like a powerless corner,
I can come out like, mean, it's hard to believe,
but no, it's really not throwing elbows and headbuts. Yeah,
for sure, I can come out and verbal ones that
really are way more serious than a physical headbut feather.
The other two hacks that I think have saved our marriage,
besides just showing up and kind of using some of
(22:53):
these things like what's working, what was hard is so
everyone says married should be d fifty, it's never ever.
And so what we do is we quantify where we are.
So if Steve comes home and he'll be like I
got twenty just in terms of energy, just energy, investment, kindness, patience,
(23:14):
I'm not and I'll be like I'll cover you. I
got your brother, like, I'll pull the eighty. Sometimes we
come home, which we've done a lot. My mom has
been sick, and I'll say I've got ten and Steve,
you know, Steve like two days ago said I'm riding
a solid. So we know that we have to sit
down at the table anytime we have less than a
(23:35):
hundred combined and figure out a plan of kindness towards
each other. Yeah, Because the thing is marriage is not
something that's fifty. A partnership works when you can carry
their twenty or they can carry your twenty, and that
when you both just have twenty, you have a plan
where you don't hurt each other your threadbar. Yeah, and
(23:56):
and so so what we'll say is I'm like, I've
got ten, and he'll be like, I got Maybe we're
like put all the groceries that are supposed to be
great and healthy in the freezer, we're ordering out, get
the housekeeper here an extra day, and we're canceling anything
with people that we really actually don't like. So how
can we create some buffer in this? We do that.
The other thing I would say to that now I'm
thinking about that is we made a determination very early.
(24:19):
There's kid focused families, parent focused families, and family focused families.
We're a family focused family. So that means if you
want to do water polo, eagle scouts, tennis, and skeet shooting,
then that comes to the family and the family agrees
what will keep the family healthy, like we can we
you know, I've got a book launch, I've got this,
(24:40):
Steve's got patience, he's taking on another you know, he's
a pediatrician, he's doing this. So what works for our
family right now is you can do to extracurriculars and
I'm going to have a two week tour, not a
four week tour. But we put the family as the
system that we serve. It's not the kids at the
parents cost or the parents at the kids cost, it's
the family and it is. It is remarkable. I'm gonna
(25:12):
read something that is going to help drive home the
fact that we shouldn't comment on people's body size anymore.
It's gonna drive it home even further because I've recently
become passionate about this once I really learned the dangers
of complimenting someone's body size. I used to do it
all the time. If I noticed that someone lost weight,
I would comment on it, even if I was being nice.
(25:33):
I didn't know the damage it can be doing. And
maybe there's someone that you're saying it too. It might
not cause any issues, but you never, ever, ever really
know what someone is struggling with. For me, when I
was in the throes of my eating disorder, if someone
would compliment that I looked skinny, it was adding fuel
to the fire. It helped give me the motivation to
keep going because I was getting praise for that, and
(25:55):
it just made it easier for me to continue down
that path and it was super unhealthy. And trust me,
I even remember some of the compliments I got. I
remember where I was, remember what I was wearing, remember
who sent them to me, because it gave me that
weird validation of like, ah, okay, I gotta keep up
with this. This is what I am going to keep
doing myself. I can get smaller and smaller and smaller.
(26:18):
And that wasn't what it was all about by any means.
Is way deeper than that, but still it was part
of the problem. And the people that compliment me, they
meant no harm at all whatsoever. But the truth is,
you never know what's behind the weight loss. It could
be a needing disorder, it could be cancer, it could
be depression. You really never know. And I follow the
(26:39):
Nutrition te on Instagram at the Nutrition Tea. It's a
new follow I highly recommend it. She falls in line
of like a Jennifer Roland, a Lisa at the Well Necessities,
an account that I need to follow that holds me
accountable and posts encouraging things that are going to remind
me to continue on the path that I'm on and
not slip back into old patterns. But she put up
(27:01):
a post the other day. She was holding up a sign,
just another friendly reminder that there was more to someone
than their body size and it's not okay to comment
on it. And then this is the caption that she
put with it, And this is what really drives at home.
I highly suggest reading the caption fully before commenting. I've
said this before and I'll just keep saying it. Let's
(27:22):
try to normalize finding other things to comment on besides
someone's body or weight. I know it's hard, but I'm
inviting you to try. Chadwick Boseman passed away, which is
tragic for many of us for many reasons. With many
high profile deaths we often receive information about someone after
they're passing. In this case, he had colon cancer, which
very few knew about. His appearance became much thinner. With
(27:44):
this came the comments about his body, and many comments
from people who did not know him. Some might have
even complimented him on his thinner frame. In fact, this
happened so many times the actor began deleting photos of himself.
Now we know, why can you imagine doing all of
these great things and being undeniably talented, but you are
still just reduced to your body size. I invite those
(28:06):
of you who somehow still take issue with non body
compliments to really think about this. But my friend is
trying to lose weight, and I just want a motivator. Okay,
I get that we want to try to hype up
our friends. But do you know if your compliment is
adding fuel or orthorexia. Do you know if your friend
has or is developing and eating disorder or disordered eating,
(28:27):
your hype could be adding to this. Well, I'm a
personal trainer and I like to motivate my clients. Okay,
I get this comment from personal trainers all the time.
Hear me out here, How well do you know your clients.
Do you know their history with body dysmorphia e D
or disordered eating? Can you motivate them by telling them
they are getting stronger and celebrating their body with the movement.
(28:48):
There are so many ways to motivate your clients that
are not weight or body size related. I invite you
to really think about this. It's hard, I know, but
many new ideas take time to grasp. And that was
the end of her post. You can definitely give her
a follow. I recommend it at the nutrition t on Instagram.
(29:17):
So this last thing I'm gonna leave you all with
today is an online shopping tip. So a lot of
people shop online these days. It's kind of the norm,
especially because we're not trying to be out and about
in public around people. But I thought this piece of
advice was a little bit mind blowing and amazing. So
let your online shopping cart sit If you sign into
your account and stick a few items in the cart,
(29:39):
don't check out just yet. Let it sit there. Many
retailers will email you a cupon in a few days
to entice you to place your order. Yes, I know
it's kind of scary and creepy to know that they're
watching you in that way. But hey, it's happening whether
you like it or not. So go put some things
in your cart again. We can test this out. It's
(30:00):
a tip, but I don't know if it's going to
work for every retailer. May just depend but I have noticed.
I went to ban Dear, it's a website for some
athletic clothes that I was ordering, and I put stuff
in a cart, and then I did notice. I got
an email from them and then even a text. I'm
not quite sure how they have my phone number, but
they do, and I didn't mind it. I got a discount.
(30:23):
And I don't know if it's because I had stuff
sitting in the car or just coincidence, but try this out.
Put some things in your cart, then see if a
few days later you get a discount coupon or code
or percentage or whatever from the company. Another thing that
I'll throw out there is Honey. I've used it a lot,
and that will give you cupon codes. It's something you
download onto your computer and then anytime you're checking out somewhere,
(30:45):
it'll go ahead and give you a discount when you're
checking out, so you don't have to search for the code.
I've told you all about it before, but I thought
I would just throw that in here as one last
little online shopping tip. Because you can use honey and
that could be helpful, But try out this little will
hack see if it gets you some deals. Hey, I
mean it can't hurt h
Okay, little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth kicking. Four
(00:32):
Happy Thursday, everybody. Amy here and appreciate y'all listening into
those of you that have subscribed and rated and reviewed
and all that stuff. I just want to say thank
you right now. I don't feel like I recognize that
all the time, but it's not lost on me those
of you that take the time to do that, and
it's super special. Even if there is some constructive criticism,
(00:53):
I can handle it over there. So share with me
what you will, although maybe you could email me the
constructive criticism and then post a nice review with all
the stars if you want. I mean, maybe you're not
there yet, but once you decide that you're ready for that, um,
you could put it up there and then yeah. Four
things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com. I get
emails often that advised me on things or suggest things
(01:18):
that I could be doing better, and I feel like
I take that stuff well as long as it's presented
in a kind way. I appreciate your feedback. So the
first thing that we get into in today's episode is
human doing versus human being, which is something that I've
been working on, and today's episode is very diverse. I
(01:38):
will say, no thing is really related to any other
thing that I talk about, and it's just me on
the episode. I don't have any guests. But each thing
that I talked about is something that's just been top
of mind for me lately, or something I'm working through,
or something that I saw that I wanted to share
with you. So that's what today's episode is all about.
But the human doing versus human being is some thing
(02:00):
I am really personally working on. And then this morning
on Instagram, my friend Brittany Kelly that I follow has
a company called Tribe Kelly, really cool clothing line if
you want to check it out. I love their stuff.
But she posted ten tricks to be much more productive,
and I thought, oh, this could have kind of flowed
in with my talk on human doing versus human being, because,
(02:25):
as you'll hear in the first thing, there's some planning,
like life planning that goes into that, and a lot
of times we get into a a doing mode. We're
just checking things off the list, and we're really not
being as productive with our days as possible. Because what
happens with me is my days end up ruling me.
I don't end up ruling my day. And so I thought,
(02:47):
as a little bonus here in the intro, to tie
in with the first thing that you're gonna hear in
just a minute, I would read off to you these
ten tricks to be much more productive. So the first
thing that it said was get up two hours earlier.
And now, for me, I already wake up super early.
So I think this is kind of relative to what
you think you need to do in your life. Maybe
you need more time, but you don't need two hours worth.
(03:08):
Maybe you need an hour or thirty minutes. For me,
I think I just need to I'm already waking up
early enough, but I just need to organize and prioritize
when I'm doing what. But also, sleep is super important.
So if you do realize that you need to get
up early to tackle more of the day, make sure
you're going to bed at a decent time and not
just staying up late for no reason or watching too
(03:30):
much Netflix or even reading. As great as reading is
for you, you've got to have a cut off and
make sure you're getting adequate sleep. The second thing it
mentions is do the most important thing in the morning. Well,
for me, I'm on a morning show, which that job
is pretty important. But I don't really have a choice
what I do in the morning. But I guess I
could get up earlier and tackle some things that I
(03:51):
needed to get done. But my husband does this when
he's making a list. He will just write down everything
he needs to do in no particular order, and then
he goes back through and puts a number next to
it one, two, three, four, and it will be all
over the place, but he prioritizes and then he tackles
one first and then he moves on to number two
(04:11):
and that's how he's able to handle his day better.
And he was in the military, so he knows something
about structure being productive. Uh. Then at number three here
it suggests that you focus on your progress, not just
the outcome, because if you just keep focusing on what
needs to get done at the end, uh, then you
(04:33):
won't appreciate the little steps that you've taken along the
way to get there. And number four, stop complaining about
not having enough time, because I'm definitely guilty of that.
Number five, take time to plan and prioritize, which you'll
hear that coming up In the first thing, that's huge.
I keep hearing all the time that that's what people
do to help be better. You got to make time
(04:55):
to plan, focus on minutes, not hours. So if you
get over whelmed by something, then divide things up and
really take it minute by minute. Avoid multitasking. Oh man,
I'm not good at that. I'm multitask like crazy, and
I'm not good at it. I'm not good at multitasking,
but I'm not good at avoiding the multitasking. Set routines
(05:16):
that will free up your brain power. I am getting
into more of a routine. And what we're trying to
do also with our kids is create more of a
routine because they thrive off of that. And it makes
sense if you think about it, and so it sounds
like even as adults we can thrive off of that
as well. Number nine, let go of imperfections and kickstart anyway.
(05:38):
So if you're scared of doing something because you don't
feel like you're gonna be able to do it right,
just do it anyways. See what happens. And at number ten,
leave some free time in your schedule, which there'll be
a little bit more on that coming up. In the
first thing, but I just wanted to share this again
as a little bonus since I saw a pop up
in my Instagram stories and I thought somebody might need
(05:59):
to hear that. Okay, So then the second thing we
get into is more of a relationship talk. And while
it is about a marriage relationship or in even dating
in the case of what people, the people that are
talking on playing a clip from YouTube with it, but
I really feel like this could apply to a work
(06:21):
relationship or something like that, anything where you have a
relationship with someone, we're working on something and sharing life together.
In some way, shape or form, you could apply it.
The third thing is I share with you another reason
why we should stop commenting on the size of someone's body,
and this is one thing that might finally resonate with
(06:42):
some of you if it hasn't before. And then for
the fourth thing, it is a very random online shopping tip,
so that I thought, I'm always looking out for you guys,
and I want to make sure that you can get
the deals too, So I share with you something that
I saw online and hey, you never know if it
might work and savior a little bit of money. So
(07:03):
that is today's episode. In a nutshell, I have been
getting a few emails about our four Things Fall pullovers.
We did one last year had All Things Fall and
it was burnt orange and it was like fall leaves,
cozy weather sweaters, pumpkin spice. And I will say, for
those of you that are my podcast listeners, you're kind
(07:24):
of getting a sneak peek. We are going to be
releasing that again next weekend Saturday, September twelve, and we're
coming up with a second option too, so we'll have
the burnt orange one and then we will have a
a new color, and so be on the lookout for that.
It's my new favorite. I was a big fan of
the orange one, but I really feel like this other
(07:46):
color we have in the works, with totally different four
things is going to be so cute. So make sure
you're following shop spat on Instagram so you don't miss that.
I run that account at shop Spoa. And then if
you're not following me on Instagram, mine is at Radio
Amy and I would love to see you over there,
and then radio amy dot com. If you're looking for
(08:08):
anything else that you might be interested in, you never know,
like my Amazon page, anything, the Bobby Bones Show. There's
some blog stuff up there as well. So I hope
y'all are doing great, and thank you for listening. And
here's today's four things. Here you go. First, So, in
a therapy session that I had a few weeks ago,
my therapist said, look, you're in a human doing mode
(08:30):
right now. You're not in a human being mode. And
I thought, okay, yeah, I don't know that I fully
understand that, but I would say that you're right. I
feel like I'm just doing doing, doing, checking things off
my list with really no rhyme or reason, but kind
of going to bed every night, like I know I
accomplished things today, but I don't really know what, and
I just don't even feel like I connected with anyone
(08:50):
or anything, including my family and my kids, because I
just had been in kind of a survival mode of sorts,
and I know a lot of you might be in
a similar place. We all go through different things, but
when we get in that human doing mode, it can
be hard to break it. So I wanted to share
with you all what I've been working on to be
(09:12):
more of a human being and less of a human
doing without getting too overwhelmed by the whole process. Now,
the first thing that I've started working on is a
personal mission statement for myself, like knowing where I'm going,
why I want to do that, and how I'm going
to get there. And my husband is also in some
(09:33):
therapy stuff right now too, and he got out of
his session the other names like, you know what, I'm
going to come up with my own personal mission statement,
and I thought, stop it. I just thought I'm going
to do that for myself. So now we're both working
on mission statements for ourselves, and then we want to
work on a mission statement for our family and what
our goals are there too, so not only personally, but
(09:57):
also completely separate different one as a family unit. So
that is my encouragement to you to start there. And
that's really focused on yourself, but I also think it's
important to focus on others. My mom used to tell me,
I remember specifically one time in college. She told me
multiple times, But I think in college I was just
completely focused in on myself and my problems and everything
(10:19):
I had going on, and I couldn't get past all
of these things that were wrong with me, and I
was on the phone with her complaining, inventing, and I mean,
that's what moms are good for. But then she hit
me with the wisdom of you know, I think what
you need to do right now is go find a
way to help others and take the focus off of you.
So I really feel like focusing and serving others is
(10:42):
a really great way to be a part of the
human being experience. And I came across this Chinese proverb
that I want to share with you all real quick.
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If
you want happiness for a month, get married. You want
happiness for a year inherit a fortune. If you want
(11:03):
happiness for a lifetime, help somebody else. So just chuck
that away, keep it in your back pocket, something to
think about. I really feel like there is a lifetime
of happiness when we can take time to shift the
focus off ourselves and focus on others that might need
our help. But don't ignore yourself and all that you
need to do. So first thing mission statement for yourself,
(11:26):
maybe even for your marriage or your family or whatever
that looks like. Also make sure you're taking time regularly
to shift focus to help others. Then another thing that
I have found in my process of learning how to
try to be more of a human being is scheduling
down time. So it seems weird to plan this out,
but it's imperative. Like I wanted to go to this
(11:49):
park by our house a couple of weeks ago. Every
day I wanted to go, it never happened. Everything just
kept coming up, things just kept piling on. But you
know what, I never really made a firm schedule to
make it happen. I was just hopeful that every day
I would get there, and I knew it would be
good for my soul to just be out in nature,
outside with the trees, with the water, breathing in fresh air.
(12:11):
That's what I needed. And a week came and went
and I remember looking at Ben, my husband, and I said,
I never even made it there this week. And that
is what I told you at the beginning of the week.
The one thing I knew I needed to do for
myself never happened. So in the following week, as I
was trying to put in the work to change course
of how I was living, I scheduled a walk with
a friend. And then I was held more accountable and
(12:33):
I had a date and met her there and it
was so great. It was just what I needed, and
it was in the middle of the week. I think
it was a Wednesday afternoon at three o'clock, but I
had it on my calendar and I went and it
revived me. So I feel like scheduling your downtime and
getting outside especially is super imperative and really really helpful.
(12:57):
I scheduled a Saturday where I told myself, I am
not looking at my email. I'm not even getting on
my computer. There's some stuff I know that I'm gonna
to do on my phone, but I'm not opening my
computer now. Did make Sunday a little bit crazy because
there was some stuff I guess. I closed my computer
at some point on Friday and then didn't open it
up again until Sunday, and I thought, Okay, UM, probably
(13:18):
feel a little overwhelmed with some stuff that I was
trying to gather together for the kids too, because their
school emails start to come in and there's just stuff
we have to stay on top of. And I felt
a little overwhelmed, but it was fine. I didn't freak
out as much as if I hadn't had the break,
like I think. The break was good for me, and
I remember looking up at my husband while we were
having coffee kind of going over our calendar for the week,
(13:40):
which we do that now on Sundays, and I said,
I don't know. I feel sorry. I feel a little
bit behind. I was like, I'm even open my computer yesterday.
He said I didn't either, And you know what, when
I look back on that Saturday and how we spent
it as a family, it was a really great day.
So I would encourage you to schedule that downtime whatever
it looks like for you, and then yeah, definitely schedule
(14:01):
in some electronic free moments and then plan time to plan.
This one sounded weird to me because I've never been
much of a planner. I mean, sometimes I make lists,
but then I like to make other lists, and then
I lose the list, and then my A D D
takes me somewhere else and I abandoned that list for
a better list, and then I dropped the ball. And
that's not effective, especially when people are relying on you.
(14:23):
So now I'm planning time to plan. And again, like
I said, my husband and I are now sitting down
on Sundays and we're getting out the calendar. I'm more
of a plan for the week ahead. Person. From the
research that I've done, there's people that plan every morning.
They spend the first hour of their morning planning each day,
but it makes their day super efficient, and then when
it's time for them to shut it down, they're able
(14:45):
to shut it down. They get the stuff done that
they need to, and then they get to be human being.
So I'm not really of that mindset. I don't want
to plan every day, but I can plan once a
week for the week. And then there's other people this
might be more your style. You take one day out
of the month and you plan out your entire month,
if you're able to do that and what it's going
to look like, and apparently it's pretty amazing. But right
(15:08):
now I'm taking it week to week, which I'm still
not there yet. By the way, I don't even have
the whole week to week thing down. There's still some
things where I don't have stuff nailed down, and I'm
hitting up people the day before like, hey, what does
tomorrow look like, Let's do this, which I really would
like to have it where the whole week before it's
all planned out. I just want to make sure I
clarify I do not have this system down. Just encouraging
(15:30):
y'all with things that I have been finding online and
in podcasts and from a couple of people that I've
talked to, like what is most effective? And there was
tons of stuff, By the way, I've kind of whittled
it down to stuff that I think could be helpful
for you. Another thing that we can start doing is
honing our skills. Spend some time to do that so
that you can get better at what you do. And
(15:53):
it could be even honing your skills to get like
with this stuff, at being a human being instead of
just a human doing, so that you're better at life
in general. But really, what is your trade? What do
you do? What are you into? How can you be better?
How can you be more efficient? You can do that
through reading documentaries, podcasts, listening to audio books. How can
you learn and absorb some more information to make you better?
(16:17):
And then really just getting in time management stuff, getting
all that in order. Knowing your personal gifts and then
also knowing your limitations I think is super important because
sometimes I take on something like oh, yeah, I think
I can do that, and then I really can't, So
I should have just said no, figured somebody else out
to do it, delegated it, or somebody could have found
somebody else to do it. I'm bad at that. So
(16:40):
understanding what are your limitations. Maybe it's limitation because of time,
or maybe it's limitation because of knowledge or skill, and
that's okay. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. So
these are just some of the things that I am
personally implementing it my life for being more of a
human being instead of a human doing type person. And
I thought they might be helpful for you, and I
(17:02):
hope that they are. Let's talk relationships and this could
be your spouse, your partner, your boyfriend, your coworker. Really,
I think this could apply to any relationship, although where
I learned this, they were talking specifically about romantic relationships.
(17:22):
So I was on Tim Ferris's YouTube channel and he
had Rene Brown on, so I started watching it and
the episode is called Striving Versus Self Acceptance, Saving Marriages
and More. It's the Tim Ferris Show again, and the
audio I'm going to share with you from that, I
mean stuck with me. My husband and I have started
working this into how we tackle our days and I
(17:46):
had never heard of this before. This was something where
it was such an AHA moment for me. But it
seems so simple and it makes so much sense, and
I'm like, why are people not screaming this from the rooftops?
And maybe they are and I have missed did. But
I'm going to share with you something that Tim Ferris
does with his girlfriend, and then Burnet comes in and
shares what she does with her husband, and it's genius.
(18:10):
So I want you'all to listen to it and then
think about working it into your relationships, because I really
feel like a lot of times with me and my husband,
we're not communicating about where we are in our days
and how stressed out we are, or the load that
we have, or what we're feeling or what we're going on,
and we just have these expectations that the other person
can just come and pick up the slack, but we
(18:30):
don't communicate about it. And now after listening to this,
you'll understand what I'm talking about. My husband and I can,
you know, talk to each other and say, hey, I'm
operating at about where are you today? And if he
happens to be at then great, he can pick up
my slack. He may not be, and then we need
to sit down and really come up with a plan
(18:52):
of how we're going to survive the day, the week,
the month, or whatever that may look like. So here
you go. This is what I heard Burnet and Tim
Ferris talking about, and I'm obsessed with it in the
last say five years. With the right tools and the
right prompts and the right books and the right accountability
partners like my girlfriend, who's a very well developed em
(19:16):
path and a very clean fighter, which is really important, huge, huge,
and one thing that she does really well that has
been instrumental for me. She's been the clearest mirror maybe
I've ever had in the sense that I have my stuff,
she has her stuff. I have my scripts and my sensitivities,
many of which are out of date. And we set
(19:37):
time to do what we call batch ng. So rather
than having lots of interspersed criticisms or constructive pieces of
feedback that may not be taken the best away by
by me, especially at three pm on a weekday, we'll
set time aside to sit down and we will take turns.
(19:58):
And this is a format. It may not be the
best format, but it's something we came up with that
works for us, where we'll tell the other person what
they're doing well, like what they're really doing well, what
we think we are doing well, and then we'll ask
for what we would like more of. And in that
format you can start to spot patterns. Right, So, if
you do that once a week or every two weeks,
(20:21):
certain things come up and I'm like, oh, well, the
first time you said that, I thought it was just
an exception, But now I realized that is a pattern
that I have a right when X, Y and Z happens,
I go, uh, like, let's talk about it later. I
don't want to deal with it now, And I sort
of shove off certain types of topics or questions, and
then you can you can begin to experiment with working
(20:43):
on alternatives. And the reason I'm saying all this is
just because I don't I don't want people to feel
like the curiosity. If you're willing to take that first
step about your patterns, you're programming these additate strategies and
armor does not necessarily lead to you trying to run
an ultram I thought with a blindfold on, Like, there
are actually tools and resources and books and methods that
(21:05):
can be really, really, really helpful in short order, and
you'll be surprised. I mean, it's really like, it's like
putting off the mammogram, are you know, the prostate check
or whatever it is that you have to do, putting
it off, putting it off, all the scary stories, You
collect as many horrible things as you can, and then
you go and you're like, Wow, the fear leading up
(21:25):
to this was so much greater. I mean, I'm not
saying it's not gonna hurt. It's it's gonna hurt, but
I do think. I mean, the two hacks that we have.
Steve and I have been together for thirty two years,
date off and on for seven years, and married for
whatever the delta is there or whatever we right now,
hardest thing I've ever done, hands down, hardest thing I've
(21:46):
ever done. I'll hear me out there, hardiest thing. He
and I both come from our parents, marriages on both sides, divorce,
remarried several times. We had no idea what it was
supposed to look like, right, We just we're willing to
keep showing up and the conversations like you and your
girlfriend have, we do that too. It's uncanny how similar
it is. Yeah, yeah, especially what we want more of,
(22:09):
what's really working. I really appreciated this this week. Um,
we try not to if it unless it needs to
be done in real time, we'll usually wait until we're
in a good place to do it, you know. And
and and I don't know. I don't think that he
saw dirty fighting. But all I saw was dirty fighting.
I'm like shame, humiliation, put downs, you know, stuff that
(22:30):
leaves marks, stuff that you can't and I and I
can default there. When I'm in like a powerless corner,
I can come out like, mean, it's hard to believe,
but no, it's really not throwing elbows and headbuts. Yeah,
for sure, I can come out and verbal ones that
really are way more serious than a physical headbut feather.
The other two hacks that I think have saved our marriage,
besides just showing up and kind of using some of
(22:53):
these things like what's working, what was hard is so
everyone says married should be d fifty, it's never ever.
And so what we do is we quantify where we are.
So if Steve comes home and he'll be like I
got twenty just in terms of energy, just energy, investment, kindness, patience,
(23:14):
I'm not and I'll be like I'll cover you. I
got your brother, like, I'll pull the eighty. Sometimes we
come home, which we've done a lot. My mom has
been sick, and I'll say I've got ten and Steve,
you know, Steve like two days ago said I'm riding
a solid. So we know that we have to sit
down at the table anytime we have less than a
(23:35):
hundred combined and figure out a plan of kindness towards
each other. Yeah, Because the thing is marriage is not
something that's fifty. A partnership works when you can carry
their twenty or they can carry your twenty, and that
when you both just have twenty, you have a plan
where you don't hurt each other your threadbar. Yeah, and
(23:56):
and so so what we'll say is I'm like, I've
got ten, and he'll be like, I got Maybe we're
like put all the groceries that are supposed to be
great and healthy in the freezer, we're ordering out, get
the housekeeper here an extra day, and we're canceling anything
with people that we really actually don't like. So how
can we create some buffer in this? We do that.
The other thing I would say to that now I'm
thinking about that is we made a determination very early.
(24:19):
There's kid focused families, parent focused families, and family focused families.
We're a family focused family. So that means if you
want to do water polo, eagle scouts, tennis, and skeet shooting,
then that comes to the family and the family agrees
what will keep the family healthy, like we can we
you know, I've got a book launch, I've got this,
(24:40):
Steve's got patience, he's taking on another you know, he's
a pediatrician, he's doing this. So what works for our
family right now is you can do to extracurriculars and
I'm going to have a two week tour, not a
four week tour. But we put the family as the
system that we serve. It's not the kids at the
parents cost or the parents at the kids cost, it's
the family and it is. It is remarkable. I'm gonna
(25:12):
read something that is going to help drive home the
fact that we shouldn't comment on people's body size anymore.
It's gonna drive it home even further because I've recently
become passionate about this once I really learned the dangers
of complimenting someone's body size. I used to do it
all the time. If I noticed that someone lost weight,
I would comment on it, even if I was being nice.
(25:33):
I didn't know the damage it can be doing. And
maybe there's someone that you're saying it too. It might
not cause any issues, but you never, ever, ever really
know what someone is struggling with. For me, when I
was in the throes of my eating disorder, if someone
would compliment that I looked skinny, it was adding fuel
to the fire. It helped give me the motivation to
keep going because I was getting praise for that, and
(25:55):
it just made it easier for me to continue down
that path and it was super unhealthy. And trust me,
I even remember some of the compliments I got. I
remember where I was, remember what I was wearing, remember
who sent them to me, because it gave me that
weird validation of like, ah, okay, I gotta keep up
with this. This is what I am going to keep
doing myself. I can get smaller and smaller and smaller.
(26:18):
And that wasn't what it was all about by any means.
Is way deeper than that, but still it was part
of the problem. And the people that compliment me, they
meant no harm at all whatsoever. But the truth is,
you never know what's behind the weight loss. It could
be a needing disorder, it could be cancer, it could
be depression. You really never know. And I follow the
(26:39):
Nutrition te on Instagram at the Nutrition Tea. It's a
new follow I highly recommend it. She falls in line
of like a Jennifer Roland, a Lisa at the Well Necessities,
an account that I need to follow that holds me
accountable and posts encouraging things that are going to remind
me to continue on the path that I'm on and
not slip back into old patterns. But she put up
(27:01):
a post the other day. She was holding up a sign,
just another friendly reminder that there was more to someone
than their body size and it's not okay to comment
on it. And then this is the caption that she
put with it, And this is what really drives at home.
I highly suggest reading the caption fully before commenting. I've
said this before and I'll just keep saying it. Let's
(27:22):
try to normalize finding other things to comment on besides
someone's body or weight. I know it's hard, but I'm
inviting you to try. Chadwick Boseman passed away, which is
tragic for many of us for many reasons. With many
high profile deaths we often receive information about someone after
they're passing. In this case, he had colon cancer, which
very few knew about. His appearance became much thinner. With
(27:44):
this came the comments about his body, and many comments
from people who did not know him. Some might have
even complimented him on his thinner frame. In fact, this
happened so many times the actor began deleting photos of himself.
Now we know, why can you imagine doing all of
these great things and being undeniably talented, but you are
still just reduced to your body size. I invite those
(28:06):
of you who somehow still take issue with non body
compliments to really think about this. But my friend is
trying to lose weight, and I just want a motivator. Okay,
I get that we want to try to hype up
our friends. But do you know if your compliment is
adding fuel or orthorexia. Do you know if your friend
has or is developing and eating disorder or disordered eating,
(28:27):
your hype could be adding to this. Well, I'm a
personal trainer and I like to motivate my clients. Okay,
I get this comment from personal trainers all the time.
Hear me out here, How well do you know your clients.
Do you know their history with body dysmorphia e D
or disordered eating? Can you motivate them by telling them
they are getting stronger and celebrating their body with the movement.
(28:48):
There are so many ways to motivate your clients that
are not weight or body size related. I invite you
to really think about this. It's hard, I know, but
many new ideas take time to grasp. And that was
the end of her post. You can definitely give her
a follow. I recommend it at the nutrition t on Instagram.
(29:17):
So this last thing I'm gonna leave you all with
today is an online shopping tip. So a lot of
people shop online these days. It's kind of the norm,
especially because we're not trying to be out and about
in public around people. But I thought this piece of
advice was a little bit mind blowing and amazing. So
let your online shopping cart sit If you sign into
your account and stick a few items in the cart,
(29:39):
don't check out just yet. Let it sit there. Many
retailers will email you a cupon in a few days
to entice you to place your order. Yes, I know
it's kind of scary and creepy to know that they're
watching you in that way. But hey, it's happening whether
you like it or not. So go put some things
in your cart again. We can test this out. It's
(30:00):
a tip, but I don't know if it's going to
work for every retailer. May just depend but I have noticed.
I went to ban Dear, it's a website for some
athletic clothes that I was ordering, and I put stuff
in a cart, and then I did notice. I got
an email from them and then even a text. I'm
not quite sure how they have my phone number, but
they do, and I didn't mind it. I got a discount.
(30:23):
And I don't know if it's because I had stuff
sitting in the car or just coincidence, but try this out.
Put some things in your cart, then see if a
few days later you get a discount coupon or code
or percentage or whatever from the company. Another thing that
I'll throw out there is Honey. I've used it a lot,
and that will give you cupon codes. It's something you
download onto your computer and then anytime you're checking out somewhere,
(30:45):
it'll go ahead and give you a discount when you're
checking out, so you don't have to search for the code.
I've told you all about it before, but I thought
I would just throw that in here as one last
little online shopping tip. Because you can use honey and
that could be helpful, But try out this little will
hack see if it gets you some deals. Hey, I
mean it can't hurt h
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