October 9, 2025 • 24 mins
A listener writes in feeling lost at 27 after making big changes in her career, friendships, and identity, but Amy and Kat’s answer goes way beyond one age or season. They talk about what it looks like when life is “under construction”: messy, uncertain, and full of potential. Whether you’re 27 or 57, this episode is a reminder that growth doesn’t always look pretty, but it’s leading somewhere good.
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HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just fons Amy
and Cat gotcha covin.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Like likeing, No, brother, ladies and folks, do you just
follow an the spirit where it's all.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Us, phone over real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
M but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You can do it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Kat Happy Thursday.
Feeling things. This is couch Talks. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
And before we get into couch Talks, quick disclaimer that
although we are answering your questions on this podcast, it
doesn't serve as a replacement for therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah, and couch Talks is our Q and a episode.
We share emails insights from y'all, So if you ever
want to leave us a voicemail or an email, all
of that info is in our show notes. You can
also sign up for our newsletter there. Uh. But the
phone number is eight seven seven two O seven to
two O seven to seven. If something pops in your
head at any moment, just call us. We do a
(01:04):
little what does it call? Like a voice message? Like
it's Cat and I Like you'll hear Cat and I
being like, hey, thanks for calling.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It's like an answering machine.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, like back in the day. Yeah, like, uh, did
you have that like when you were a kid, because
I would sing on mine. I think I've sang it
for you before.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I never set that up when I had my own phone.
We had when I was like a family. Oh no,
our family. I think it just said like you've reached
the defados, we were lame.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
What was yours?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Hello, we're the muffets? Was the story to tell we're
not home at the moments, don't have a cow. Just
leave a little message at the sound of the tone,
and we'll call back as soon as possible when we
get home.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And you wrote that yourself, Yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
What what? It's like a parody of sorts? Do you
hear the theme? Where I got it? From West pH Philadelphia,
born and raised on the playground is where I said most.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Of my days. Yeah, you got it? You got it?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Okay, So I mean we don't sing or rap, but
you'll hear our voices. That's how you'll know. You call
the Rite number, leave us a message.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, and we may play it here on couch shocks,
or you can email Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast
dot com, which our email. I see who it's from
because I see the email address, but they signed it
like from an avid listener and a lost soul. I
don't think they would carefully said their name, but sometimes
if we're unsure, we just don't say the name.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Also, because she didn't give it, we don't know for sure,
and it gives us, like some identifying things about her.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
So if she doesn't, yeah, it could.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Be one on one feeling Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, but that's a good point to make that if
you leave us a voicemail or send us an email,
let us know if you want us to share your
name or not, because we're going to err on the
side of caution.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If you don't, that's right, But if you want us
to shout out your name, let us know.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
She said hello, lovely ladies. Your podcast has always been
a part of my morning routine on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Who thank you both days. She's a two, so I
wanted to start by saying thank you for sharing all
the things. I've recently turned twenty seven, and I've noticed
a shift in my life. I resigned from a career
(03:10):
that I thought i'd retire from. I've broken off relationships
with friends that haven't felt like real friends for a while,
and I've even changed my appearance some. While I feel
like these things will all benefit me in the end,
what does the in between need to look like? I'm
feeling a little hopeless and loss while making this shift.
What advice would you give women in their twenties who
(03:32):
are just trying to figure it all out? And why
is twenty seven so hard? And when Kat and I
decided when we read this, is that like, you may
be listening right now, and you could be You could
be thirty seven, forty seven, fifty seven, sixty seven seven seven.
We even had people in their eighties. Who was our
oldest listener ever? Was she in her nineties?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I thought she was in her seventies.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh, I guess I made that up.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
She could Maybe she's in her eighties now.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, maybe that was my aunt Carolyn. She I think
she was listening in her anyway, What we're going to say,
well apply to any age, because at any age you
can go through a changing season or a shift, or
there can be changes in job relationships appearance.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
And that comes from like the idea of you're allowed
to change your mind, give your self permission at any
point in your life to change your mind, because you
could be forty seven and be like, I don't want
to do this anymore, and I've always wanted to do this. Yeah,
and you're allowed to do that even though you've put
all your work into this career and you would feel
like you'd be starting over over here. Because one of
the biggest regrets when people are dying, of the five
(04:40):
regrets of the dying, is I was the person that
I thought everybody else wanted me to be versus the
person that I truly am. And you don't want to
get to the end of your life and feel like
you didn't do something because it was what was expected
to view at that point versus what you really want
to do. So this could have, yeah, this could happen
been at any point. And I do have something to
(05:02):
say about twenty seven what I think, and I think
that there are also some people that would agree with
me on this that throughout your life, you're you're on
the same trajectory as almost everybody else, and you're like
your cohort right of your age. So you go to school,
you go to elementary school, middle school, high school. Then
you either go to college or you start a career
(05:25):
or it goes to some kind of trade school or
do something like that. And then after college is when
I think a lot of things shift, and I think
they're shifting even more now because people are less apt
to just do the next thing, which was get married, right.
I think more people are doing more like they're not
just going to that next thing. And so you get
to your mid twenties or your later twenties, and you're
(05:48):
in this season where everybody is doing something else, so
it's hard to know or to track if you're on
the right track. And relationships shift a lot because you
might have had a friend that got married at twenty
time and now she's having a baby, but you're having
a career shift, or maybe you're like growing in your career,
and so you can't relate on the same types of things,
so there's some distance that happens. Or you might just
(06:10):
start making different friends that are in the same life
stage as you and so, and you might have some
friends that are buying houses. You might have some friends
that are deciding to travel the world, and so there's
more opportunity to be shifting than there ever has been
because the expectations aren't as rigid.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, So I think that leads a lot of people
to wonder am I doing the right thing? And the
reality is there isn't There isn't really ever. I mean,
I know, like when you're in high school you have
to go to schools, your parents will go to jail,
but like, there really isn't ever the right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You have to ask yourself what you really want.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And if you are looking to other people all the
time to make sure that you're on the right track
or you're doing things right, you're always going to come
up with the idea that you're doing something wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and with the whole transition phase that you're in
right now, and you're like, why does twenty seven have
to be so hard? I don't know that it's just
twenty seven now. To Cat's point, the mid to late twenties,
and I would say even into thirties, you have a
lot of what you were just describing, Kat, and really
any phase of your life where you've left a job
you thought you were going to have for a long time,
(07:24):
and you've ended relationships and you're changing your appearance. Like
I'm thinking of like I moved into my house last
summer and it had a renovation phase and there was
workers here all the time, and it was messy and
like you know, dust everywhere, and it felt chaotic at times. However,
(07:47):
now the dust has settled and here we are. There's
no workers here, the rooms are painted, everything is done.
So we go through different seasons of life where there's
like we have our renovation phase, and renovation are messy
and so it can feel out of sorts and it
can feel uncomfortable, but then you're building. You get through it.
(08:07):
You're building towards something, you're growing towards something. And then
one day you'll pop down on the couch and you're
living room and be like, huh, we did it, and
I feel good here. But guess what, I know that
this is not my forever home. I don't think so
I know that kind of inner like I may experience
this again. Now you don't know what those now I'm
(08:28):
using the house analogy. However, you never know what curveball's
life is going to throw you. But it's like you
know the only way is through yeah, and so you're
going through something right now and you'll get past this
what you're calling like twenty seven being so hard, and
(08:49):
then you may encounter what's up with thirty two? Why
did nobody tell me thirty two is going to be so?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Or for some people might be forty others that could
be yeah, different, you know, I can imagine for me,
like I don't know it's fifty five sixty, that transition
out of Am I still going to be working? Like?
Are we still going to be podcasting when we're fifty
five or sixty? Are we going to even need to
be here?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
We need a podcast exists? We be AI? Did you
hear about the AI actress?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I saw her?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I am had a lot through word because I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah, how is that legal?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Well, I don't know that it's she's someone designed her,
and of course there's a lot of backlash around it.
I don't know that that will ever really take over,
will it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Well? I'm just saying if you can make some of
they can make an AI podcast. I mean I'm sure
there already is AI podcast, Yeah, so that they might
take our jobs.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
We see AI commercials on YouTube and stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Did we talk about that on here.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I don't think we did, but you Kat was throwing
a fit because Oprah. There was a podcast that ended
up on our sorry a commercial I know, jokie a
commercial on our YouTube one episode where it was Oprah
talking about some salt diet or something salt diet yeah,
which who knows, it wasn't even real, and she was like,
(10:09):
I can't this isn't in alignment with us, And then
I tried to fly back. I'm like, that's not even Oprah, well.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
I said, I said.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
At first, I was like, this is really weird that
Oprah would do this. Yeah, it's like very and she
she said something about her husband and I didn't think
she ever got married to Steadman or whatever his name is.
And then I was like, I wondered if it was Ai.
But then it was like it looked like.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Her and it had a green microphone and her greet
her microphone for her podcast is girl.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Oh really yeah? And then you were like, yeah, that's Ai.
I was like, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
How they're getting away with that either, Like, I have
no idea it's illegal.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Shouldn't Oprah be suing them?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, I'm sure they're trying to like take things down
as fast as things are going up, Like who knows.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I saw something too after that. I am second guessing
things before I like make an assumption. But I saw
something to the other day on TikTok and it was
Rory McRoy, who's a golfer talking about the Ryder Cup.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Did you hear about what happened?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, his wife what was bad? It's like how they were.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like so horriful to him, and it was him talking
and he said in it, I will never play a
tournament in the United States again. So I said to Patrick,
I was like, oh my gosh, did you hear about that?
And then I go wait a second, wait a second,
let me read the comments, and I was like, this
is ai. He didn't say that, but it was so
real because it was about something that actually happened. And
I also would respect it if he was like, I'm
(11:32):
never coming back here again. After that, I would kind
of get it.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Well, we're already in a terrible time of misinformation and
also echo chambers where maybe even some information might be true,
but that's all you're being fed, so that's all you see,
So then it's your echo chamber. So then you think
like if nobody else thinks like you, that they're crazy. Yeah,
and it's like, actually, diversity in thoughts and opinions is good.
(11:57):
It's important. Like debate is good. All of that is good.
But now it's so tricky of what to believe and
what not to believe. Like I don't know. I think
I'm just gonna like move to the.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
To where if you had to move to it to the.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Wild wild West. I'm going to move to Wyoming.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You know they still have social media in Wyoming.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
That I'm not gonna connect to it.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Okay, you could do that here.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I was trying to think of like the states where
like population for land.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Is less, Yeah, like it lives in Wyoming.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, what I've never been? What is in Wyoming that
Wyoming Montana beautiful?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Is there like national parks I assume or something Yellowstone
is that in Wyoming?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
This is I believe Yellowstone was the very first national park.
I think it spans in Wyoming and Montana.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Got it. Like when I think of Wyoming, I think
of an Elk.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Sure you might, I might see some of those. Yeah,
I really want to go there. Over mind, that's a
place where I've I've never gone, but I would live
Wyoming or Montana.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I can see you in Montana.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
What's the difference. I'm sure no offense to anybody that
lives there that's like, Oh, there's a big difference, let
me tell you. But in my mind, it doesn't seem
very different to me, Like I don't. I feel like
if you cross the line from one to the other,
it'd be like the same awesomeness.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I think.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
If you sounded like I thought you sounded like the
girl from Mean Girls and your awesome friend, awesome parties
and everything's. So when I think of Montana, I think
of like Bozeman and Big Sky. I probably should admit this,
but I can't think of a city in Wyoming Cheyenne.
(13:49):
What's the capital of Wyoming?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Well, the Syenne, Wyoming is the heart of the Old West.
I literally gave you the one city I could name, and.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Is that the capitol?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Though?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
People are probably listening to this in there in Wyoming,
and I'm really sorry. Guess what, guys, it's Cheyenne. Okay,
I don't think i'd ever heard of that city.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Well, it's in a garth Brook song. I probably thought
it was a girl's names of shining.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, I probably thought that it was a girl's name.
And I also don't know what song you're singing.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I can't really think of it either.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I just know that it's It's there Chyenne Garth.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Brooks song and the Beaches of Cheyenne. That's the name
of the So I did have the lyric right, He
packed the balls, buckles and ship to settled. It's dead, Okay,
let me go, let me get to the chory. She
just stuckle to his dad, Wait, you need me to
(14:53):
get to the chorus. They say, she just went crazy,
screaming out his name. She ran into the ocean, and
to this day they claim that if you go down
by the water, you'll see use her footprints in the
sand because every night she walks the beaches of Shinan.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
That the beach carry song is there like a lake,
beaches on a lake.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And because I was like, I've figured i'd be landlocked, right.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But you're gonna be a lake and you're gonna be
the beach of a lake. Okay, speaking of I have
a this is an episode that's all over the place.
But I do have a book. Not request a book.
Why can't I think recommendation couldn't think of that word.
I'm into Emily Henry books right now. Have you read
any of her books?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
No? But I love good when there's an author and
you just.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Read all of her books?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah? Hold up, wait a second, I maybe have read
one of which I wanted to read Funny You're talking
and I'm gonna okay, So.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I just recently did two of hers. I like her books.
What I'm gathering is from her as a writer. She
writes like easy, not like more like simple, fun love
story type books for I think her demographic is probably
like younger women. I'm quite myself young. And I just
(16:23):
finished Funny Story, which was I first did people you
Meet on Vacation?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So cute.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I don't want to say anything else because my critique
of it, I think would mess with the ending. But
Funny Story loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it.
Highly recommend And this is off of me listening to
a bunch of Christ and Hannah books, and her books
are a lot more emotionally touching emotional in general. So
(16:51):
I did something fun and light and these hit the spot.
So have you read one?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Well? I thought, So there's a book that I read
and The author mentioned Walker Hayes's song in her book,
Why can't I think of what it was? I thought
it was Emily Henry, but she didn't. I'll have to
go through. This was back when my son I didn't read.
I listened to it. Yeah, and son was I could,
(17:18):
but I don't know if we take the time, Yes,
let me look it up. My son was playing football,
so this is a while back because he hasn't played
football and quite some time. And I would just walk
around the football field like listening to books, waiting for
practice to be over. And I just remember it being
like so hot.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
And outside, so this doesn't feel like a memory.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And then I remember texting Walker, and I'm like, did
you know you're in this book? Maybe it's easier if
I just pull up my text with Walker and I see,
because it's not.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
How I text to keep your texts well.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Long time years. I have to get through all the
back and forth Walker and I had about our show
intro Oh Emily Emily Giffin. Look, I found it. I
scrolled right to it and this was July second, twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
How do you have that much storage on your phone
that you can have texts from three years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Oh, I had to buy a new storage.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
You don't want to just get rid of text.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
No, no, I don't want to get rid of text.
I have voicemails from my parents that I have saved.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Okay, I get that's fair.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
So I said, did you know your name dropped in
this book? And it's Emily Giffen all we ever wanted.
So I went on an Emily Giffen kit? Did you
You were on to Emily Henry Henry? So that's why
I was like, wait a second, I have so at
least I had the first name, right, I said. It
came out in twenty eighteen, but I'm just not listening
to it though it was so fun. You got a
(18:44):
shout out and he said, yes, I've read every single
one of her books. She's amazing. Ah, you should have
her on your podcast. And I go, OHMG, do you
know her? He goes, I do. She's a really interesting person.
If you want me to connect tala huh.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I wonder where she's from. So should we get back
to our email? Yeah, because I feel like we.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Derailed that well. I feel like we derailed after we
gave like our best pieces of advice. Did you have
more to add.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Well, No, I don't want her to feel like we
didn't give her the attention she deserved her email.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I want the listener to feel like, this isn't.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
You're not alone yees at all.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, And I don't know what exactly like because we
don't have all the pieces.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't know why you did all of these things.
And this could be an act of bravery and strength
of you, like shedding these things because you don't want
to keep going throughout your life looking or dressing or
whatever a way that isn't you having friends that don't
serve you, working a job that like it's okay for
you to work really hard to get to a place
(19:51):
to be in your career and then realize that, like,
this is not what I thought it was. Now that
I have more information, the thing that I was working
towards is not the thing that I've really wanted. I
thought it was going to be this, and it's not that.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And I would almost say, oh, wow, good for you
for figuring this out at twenty seven and being able
to act on it, because I think so many of
us either stay in the job and stay in the
relationships and the friendships and dressing a certain way, looking
a certain way to try to fit something, and we
don't break out of it till you know, either ever
(20:26):
or at least another ten years. So you're on the
right track and we're constantly evolving. And friendships, I think
that was a hard one for me to get, especially
if you were saying you were the one that like
had to kind of end it. That part is never easy.
And a good follow for that is our friend Blake
(20:46):
and Becker.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Blake and Blake and Becker, Blake and Beckler Blake and Butler.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Why can't I say it?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
It's a hard last name. And because her name is Blake,
Blake and Beckler.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Blake, Blakelen Bucker. Yes, I went to college with the
blaken Ship. So that's where my brain just went right
now and that took over. But her Instagram, she has
so many good videos about friendship and normalizing certain things
in friendship and normalizing even moving on from friendship. Moore
(21:18):
questions you can ask yourself. She put up something recently
that I saw where she went over like ten things
you can do ask yourself about your friendships to make
sure that they're the type of people you want in
your life. And you know there's resources out there. It's
where you're not alone. Because I just think like breaking
up with boyfriend's very normal and people talk about it
(21:41):
all the time. It's like, oh my gosh, well tell
me how's it going, And it's like a very public thing, like, yes,
we broke up, and then like friendships ending, it's like
a very private hush hush or I don't want to
talk about it. I don't want to hurt.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
But also it's like you're not supposed to do that.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, you're allowed to break up with a boyfriend, but
you're not supposed to break up with your friend.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Because then it's like, well, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, why can't you keep these long lasting friendships when
it might have served a purpose or you've shifted, you've changed,
It could be just all about you and there's nothing
wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, things come into your life, things are people whatever
for a season or reason or a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We'll end on that so we don't go down another
rabbit hole of.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Authors or me singing.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
A Garth Brooks song.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Research like ny but.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Questions that just pop up that I don't know the
answer to about you, I gave mine, Like, if you
had to just up and move anywhere, but you've never
been there, where would it be?
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You know how happy it just made me that you
did that.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Questions that don't come up in the United States.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It has to be in the United States.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Yeah, I think about this often. Okay, so the question
you think about this often?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
If I have to move somewhere I've never been?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Okay, no, Wow, finally asked me, I'm sure to think
of where you would move if you, like, had to
leave Nashville.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Paring for somebody to ask me this exact question.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Where is it? Because we're dying to know?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
So, No, what I meant to say is, I've been
I think about a lot if I if I.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Move somewhere else, where would I move? Right? And I
don't know, Well, you have to pick a place, but
if it was somewhere, it has to be somewhere that
I've never been.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You've never been.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
That's even harder because I feel like I visit the
places that I would want to go. So I'm thinking
I would want to move somewhere in New England.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Like Maine, Yes, Maine, Nantucket, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah, I don't know. I think that's what I would want.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Is that too a pity?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah? I don't know if I would fit in.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
But have you ever been No? Okay, well, I have
been to Maine. I've been to Portland, Maine. I don't
want to live there.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
It's too small. So I guess I couldn't be Boston either,
because I've been to Boston. Okay. Here, I moved to Vermont. Yeah,
I think I might hate it.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
It's legit. That's where Olivia Pope and fits President Grant.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
These are fictional people. How do I know that name?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
They? You know. I don't want to get anything in
a way.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But okay, I take it back. I would move to Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Okay, all right, hope you have the day you need
to have. Bye.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Bye,
Good. All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just fons Amy
and Cat gotcha covin.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Like likeing, No, brother, ladies and folks, do you just
follow an the spirit where it's all.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Us, phone over real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
M but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
You can do it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
This is feeling things with Amy and Kat Happy Thursday.
Feeling things. This is couch Talks. I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
And before we get into couch Talks, quick disclaimer that
although we are answering your questions on this podcast, it
doesn't serve as a replacement for therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Yeah, and couch Talks is our Q and a episode.
We share emails insights from y'all, So if you ever
want to leave us a voicemail or an email, all
of that info is in our show notes. You can
also sign up for our newsletter there. Uh. But the
phone number is eight seven seven two O seven to
two O seven to seven. If something pops in your
head at any moment, just call us. We do a
(01:04):
little what does it call? Like a voice message? Like
it's Cat and I Like you'll hear Cat and I
being like, hey, thanks for calling.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
It's like an answering machine.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, like back in the day. Yeah, like, uh, did
you have that like when you were a kid, because
I would sing on mine. I think I've sang it
for you before.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I never set that up when I had my own phone.
We had when I was like a family. Oh no,
our family. I think it just said like you've reached
the defados, we were lame.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
What was yours?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Hello, we're the muffets? Was the story to tell we're
not home at the moments, don't have a cow. Just
leave a little message at the sound of the tone,
and we'll call back as soon as possible when we
get home.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
And you wrote that yourself, Yeah, wow.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
What what? It's like a parody of sorts? Do you
hear the theme? Where I got it? From West pH Philadelphia,
born and raised on the playground is where I said most.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Of my days. Yeah, you got it? You got it?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Okay, So I mean we don't sing or rap, but
you'll hear our voices. That's how you'll know. You call
the Rite number, leave us a message.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Yeah, and we may play it here on couch shocks,
or you can email Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast
dot com, which our email. I see who it's from
because I see the email address, but they signed it
like from an avid listener and a lost soul. I
don't think they would carefully said their name, but sometimes
if we're unsure, we just don't say the name.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
So I wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Also, because she didn't give it, we don't know for sure,
and it gives us, like some identifying things about her.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
So if she doesn't, yeah, it could.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Be one on one feeling Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Okay, but that's a good point to make that if
you leave us a voicemail or send us an email,
let us know if you want us to share your
name or not, because we're going to err on the
side of caution.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
If you don't, that's right, But if you want us
to shout out your name, let us know.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
She said hello, lovely ladies. Your podcast has always been
a part of my morning routine on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Who thank you both days. She's a two, so I
wanted to start by saying thank you for sharing all
the things. I've recently turned twenty seven, and I've noticed
a shift in my life. I resigned from a career
(03:10):
that I thought i'd retire from. I've broken off relationships
with friends that haven't felt like real friends for a while,
and I've even changed my appearance some. While I feel
like these things will all benefit me in the end,
what does the in between need to look like? I'm
feeling a little hopeless and loss while making this shift.
What advice would you give women in their twenties who
(03:32):
are just trying to figure it all out? And why
is twenty seven so hard? And when Kat and I
decided when we read this, is that like, you may
be listening right now, and you could be You could
be thirty seven, forty seven, fifty seven, sixty seven seven seven.
We even had people in their eighties. Who was our
oldest listener ever? Was she in her nineties?
Speaker 3 (03:51):
I thought she was in her seventies.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh, I guess I made that up.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
She could Maybe she's in her eighties now.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Yeah, maybe that was my aunt Carolyn. She I think
she was listening in her anyway, What we're going to say,
well apply to any age, because at any age you
can go through a changing season or a shift, or
there can be changes in job relationships appearance.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
And that comes from like the idea of you're allowed
to change your mind, give your self permission at any
point in your life to change your mind, because you
could be forty seven and be like, I don't want
to do this anymore, and I've always wanted to do this. Yeah,
and you're allowed to do that even though you've put
all your work into this career and you would feel
like you'd be starting over over here. Because one of
the biggest regrets when people are dying, of the five
(04:40):
regrets of the dying, is I was the person that
I thought everybody else wanted me to be versus the
person that I truly am. And you don't want to
get to the end of your life and feel like
you didn't do something because it was what was expected
to view at that point versus what you really want
to do. So this could have, yeah, this could happen
been at any point. And I do have something to
(05:02):
say about twenty seven what I think, and I think
that there are also some people that would agree with
me on this that throughout your life, you're you're on
the same trajectory as almost everybody else, and you're like
your cohort right of your age. So you go to school,
you go to elementary school, middle school, high school. Then
you either go to college or you start a career
(05:25):
or it goes to some kind of trade school or
do something like that. And then after college is when
I think a lot of things shift, and I think
they're shifting even more now because people are less apt
to just do the next thing, which was get married, right.
I think more people are doing more like they're not
just going to that next thing. And so you get
to your mid twenties or your later twenties, and you're
(05:48):
in this season where everybody is doing something else, so
it's hard to know or to track if you're on
the right track. And relationships shift a lot because you
might have had a friend that got married at twenty
time and now she's having a baby, but you're having
a career shift, or maybe you're like growing in your career,
and so you can't relate on the same types of things,
so there's some distance that happens. Or you might just
(06:10):
start making different friends that are in the same life
stage as you and so, and you might have some
friends that are buying houses. You might have some friends
that are deciding to travel the world, and so there's
more opportunity to be shifting than there ever has been
because the expectations aren't as rigid.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
No, So I think that leads a lot of people
to wonder am I doing the right thing? And the
reality is there isn't There isn't really ever. I mean,
I know, like when you're in high school you have
to go to schools, your parents will go to jail,
but like, there really isn't ever the right thing to do.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
You have to ask yourself what you really want.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
And if you are looking to other people all the
time to make sure that you're on the right track
or you're doing things right, you're always going to come
up with the idea that you're doing something wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah, and with the whole transition phase that you're in
right now, and you're like, why does twenty seven have
to be so hard? I don't know that it's just
twenty seven now. To Cat's point, the mid to late twenties,
and I would say even into thirties, you have a
lot of what you were just describing, Kat, and really
any phase of your life where you've left a job
you thought you were going to have for a long time,
(07:24):
and you've ended relationships and you're changing your appearance. Like
I'm thinking of like I moved into my house last
summer and it had a renovation phase and there was
workers here all the time, and it was messy and
like you know, dust everywhere, and it felt chaotic at times. However,
(07:47):
now the dust has settled and here we are. There's
no workers here, the rooms are painted, everything is done.
So we go through different seasons of life where there's
like we have our renovation phase, and renovation are messy
and so it can feel out of sorts and it
can feel uncomfortable, but then you're building. You get through it.
(08:07):
You're building towards something, you're growing towards something. And then
one day you'll pop down on the couch and you're
living room and be like, huh, we did it, and
I feel good here. But guess what, I know that
this is not my forever home. I don't think so
I know that kind of inner like I may experience
this again. Now you don't know what those now I'm
(08:28):
using the house analogy. However, you never know what curveball's
life is going to throw you. But it's like you
know the only way is through yeah, and so you're
going through something right now and you'll get past this
what you're calling like twenty seven being so hard, and
(08:49):
then you may encounter what's up with thirty two? Why
did nobody tell me thirty two is going to be so?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Or for some people might be forty others that could
be yeah, different, you know, I can imagine for me,
like I don't know it's fifty five sixty, that transition
out of Am I still going to be working? Like?
Are we still going to be podcasting when we're fifty
five or sixty? Are we going to even need to
be here?
Speaker 3 (09:12):
We need a podcast exists? We be AI? Did you
hear about the AI actress?
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I saw her?
Speaker 2 (09:18):
I am had a lot through word because I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yeah, how is that legal?
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Well, I don't know that it's she's someone designed her,
and of course there's a lot of backlash around it.
I don't know that that will ever really take over,
will it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Well? I'm just saying if you can make some of
they can make an AI podcast. I mean I'm sure
there already is AI podcast, Yeah, so that they might
take our jobs.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
We see AI commercials on YouTube and stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Did we talk about that on here.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I don't think we did, but you Kat was throwing
a fit because Oprah. There was a podcast that ended
up on our sorry a commercial I know, jokie a
commercial on our YouTube one episode where it was Oprah
talking about some salt diet or something salt diet yeah,
which who knows, it wasn't even real, and she was like,
(10:09):
I can't this isn't in alignment with us, And then
I tried to fly back. I'm like, that's not even Oprah, well.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
I said, I said.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
At first, I was like, this is really weird that
Oprah would do this. Yeah, it's like very and she
she said something about her husband and I didn't think
she ever got married to Steadman or whatever his name is.
And then I was like, I wondered if it was Ai.
But then it was like it looked like.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Her and it had a green microphone and her greet
her microphone for her podcast is girl.
Speaker 3 (10:36):
Oh really yeah? And then you were like, yeah, that's Ai.
I was like, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
How they're getting away with that either, Like, I have
no idea it's illegal.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Shouldn't Oprah be suing them?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, I'm sure they're trying to like take things down
as fast as things are going up, Like who knows.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I saw something too after that. I am second guessing
things before I like make an assumption. But I saw
something to the other day on TikTok and it was
Rory McRoy, who's a golfer talking about the Ryder Cup.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Did you hear about what happened?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, his wife what was bad? It's like how they were.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Like so horriful to him, and it was him talking
and he said in it, I will never play a
tournament in the United States again. So I said to Patrick,
I was like, oh my gosh, did you hear about that?
And then I go wait a second, wait a second,
let me read the comments, and I was like, this
is ai. He didn't say that, but it was so
real because it was about something that actually happened. And
I also would respect it if he was like, I'm
(11:32):
never coming back here again. After that, I would kind
of get it.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Well, we're already in a terrible time of misinformation and
also echo chambers where maybe even some information might be true,
but that's all you're being fed, so that's all you see,
So then it's your echo chamber. So then you think
like if nobody else thinks like you, that they're crazy. Yeah,
and it's like, actually, diversity in thoughts and opinions is good.
(11:57):
It's important. Like debate is good. All of that is good.
But now it's so tricky of what to believe and
what not to believe. Like I don't know. I think
I'm just gonna like move to the.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
To where if you had to move to it to the.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Wild wild West. I'm going to move to Wyoming.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
You know they still have social media in Wyoming.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
That I'm not gonna connect to it.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
Okay, you could do that here.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I was trying to think of like the states where
like population for land.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Is less, Yeah, like it lives in Wyoming.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Well, what I've never been? What is in Wyoming that
Wyoming Montana beautiful?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Is there like national parks I assume or something Yellowstone
is that in Wyoming?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
This is I believe Yellowstone was the very first national park.
I think it spans in Wyoming and Montana.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Got it. Like when I think of Wyoming, I think
of an Elk.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Sure you might, I might see some of those. Yeah,
I really want to go there. Over mind, that's a
place where I've I've never gone, but I would live
Wyoming or Montana.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
I can see you in Montana.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
What's the difference. I'm sure no offense to anybody that
lives there that's like, Oh, there's a big difference, let
me tell you. But in my mind, it doesn't seem
very different to me, Like I don't. I feel like
if you cross the line from one to the other,
it'd be like the same awesomeness.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
I think.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
If you sounded like I thought you sounded like the
girl from Mean Girls and your awesome friend, awesome parties
and everything's. So when I think of Montana, I think
of like Bozeman and Big Sky. I probably should admit this,
but I can't think of a city in Wyoming Cheyenne.
(13:49):
What's the capital of Wyoming?
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Well, the Syenne, Wyoming is the heart of the Old West.
I literally gave you the one city I could name, and.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Is that the capitol?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Though?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
People are probably listening to this in there in Wyoming,
and I'm really sorry. Guess what, guys, it's Cheyenne. Okay,
I don't think i'd ever heard of that city.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Well, it's in a garth Brook song. I probably thought
it was a girl's names of shining.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Yeah, I probably thought that it was a girl's name.
And I also don't know what song you're singing.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I can't really think of it either.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
I just know that it's It's there Chyenne Garth.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Brooks song and the Beaches of Cheyenne. That's the name
of the So I did have the lyric right, He
packed the balls, buckles and ship to settled. It's dead, Okay,
let me go, let me get to the chory. She
just stuckle to his dad, Wait, you need me to
(14:53):
get to the chorus. They say, she just went crazy,
screaming out his name. She ran into the ocean, and
to this day they claim that if you go down
by the water, you'll see use her footprints in the
sand because every night she walks the beaches of Shinan.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
That the beach carry song is there like a lake,
beaches on a lake.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And because I was like, I've figured i'd be landlocked, right.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
But you're gonna be a lake and you're gonna be
the beach of a lake. Okay, speaking of I have
a this is an episode that's all over the place.
But I do have a book. Not request a book.
Why can't I think recommendation couldn't think of that word.
I'm into Emily Henry books right now. Have you read
any of her books?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
No? But I love good when there's an author and
you just.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Read all of her books?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Yeah? Hold up, wait a second, I maybe have read
one of which I wanted to read Funny You're talking
and I'm gonna okay, So.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I just recently did two of hers. I like her books.
What I'm gathering is from her as a writer. She
writes like easy, not like more like simple, fun love
story type books for I think her demographic is probably
like younger women. I'm quite myself young. And I just
(16:23):
finished Funny Story, which was I first did people you
Meet on Vacation?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So cute.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
I don't want to say anything else because my critique
of it, I think would mess with the ending. But
Funny Story loved it, loved it, loved it, loved it.
Highly recommend And this is off of me listening to
a bunch of Christ and Hannah books, and her books
are a lot more emotionally touching emotional in general. So
(16:51):
I did something fun and light and these hit the spot.
So have you read one?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Well? I thought, So there's a book that I read
and The author mentioned Walker Hayes's song in her book,
Why can't I think of what it was? I thought
it was Emily Henry, but she didn't. I'll have to
go through. This was back when my son I didn't read.
I listened to it. Yeah, and son was I could,
(17:18):
but I don't know if we take the time, Yes,
let me look it up. My son was playing football,
so this is a while back because he hasn't played
football and quite some time. And I would just walk
around the football field like listening to books, waiting for
practice to be over. And I just remember it being
like so hot.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
And outside, so this doesn't feel like a memory.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
And then I remember texting Walker, and I'm like, did
you know you're in this book? Maybe it's easier if
I just pull up my text with Walker and I see,
because it's not.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
How I text to keep your texts well.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Long time years. I have to get through all the
back and forth Walker and I had about our show
intro Oh Emily Emily Giffin. Look, I found it. I
scrolled right to it and this was July second, twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
How do you have that much storage on your phone
that you can have texts from three years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Oh, I had to buy a new storage.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
You don't want to just get rid of text.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
No, no, I don't want to get rid of text.
I have voicemails from my parents that I have saved.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Okay, I get that's fair.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
So I said, did you know your name dropped in
this book? And it's Emily Giffen all we ever wanted.
So I went on an Emily Giffen kit? Did you
You were on to Emily Henry Henry? So that's why
I was like, wait a second, I have so at
least I had the first name, right, I said. It
came out in twenty eighteen, but I'm just not listening
to it though it was so fun. You got a
(18:44):
shout out and he said, yes, I've read every single
one of her books. She's amazing. Ah, you should have
her on your podcast. And I go, OHMG, do you
know her? He goes, I do. She's a really interesting person.
If you want me to connect tala huh.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
I wonder where she's from. So should we get back
to our email? Yeah, because I feel like we.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Derailed that well. I feel like we derailed after we
gave like our best pieces of advice. Did you have
more to add.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Well, No, I don't want her to feel like we
didn't give her the attention she deserved her email.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
I want the listener to feel like, this isn't.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
You're not alone yees at all.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, And I don't know what exactly like because we
don't have all the pieces.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
I don't know why you did all of these things.
And this could be an act of bravery and strength
of you, like shedding these things because you don't want
to keep going throughout your life looking or dressing or
whatever a way that isn't you having friends that don't
serve you, working a job that like it's okay for
you to work really hard to get to a place
(19:51):
to be in your career and then realize that, like,
this is not what I thought it was. Now that
I have more information, the thing that I was working
towards is not the thing that I've really wanted. I
thought it was going to be this, and it's not that.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And I would almost say, oh, wow, good for you
for figuring this out at twenty seven and being able
to act on it, because I think so many of
us either stay in the job and stay in the
relationships and the friendships and dressing a certain way, looking
a certain way to try to fit something, and we
don't break out of it till you know, either ever
(20:26):
or at least another ten years. So you're on the
right track and we're constantly evolving. And friendships, I think
that was a hard one for me to get, especially
if you were saying you were the one that like
had to kind of end it. That part is never easy.
And a good follow for that is our friend Blake
(20:46):
and Becker.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Blake and Blake and Becker, Blake and Beckler Blake and Butler.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Why can't I say it?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
It's a hard last name. And because her name is Blake,
Blake and Beckler.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Blake, Blakelen Bucker. Yes, I went to college with the
blaken Ship. So that's where my brain just went right
now and that took over. But her Instagram, she has
so many good videos about friendship and normalizing certain things
in friendship and normalizing even moving on from friendship. Moore
(21:18):
questions you can ask yourself. She put up something recently
that I saw where she went over like ten things
you can do ask yourself about your friendships to make
sure that they're the type of people you want in
your life. And you know there's resources out there. It's
where you're not alone. Because I just think like breaking
up with boyfriend's very normal and people talk about it
(21:41):
all the time. It's like, oh my gosh, well tell
me how's it going, And it's like a very public thing, like, yes,
we broke up, and then like friendships ending, it's like
a very private hush hush or I don't want to
talk about it. I don't want to hurt.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
But also it's like you're not supposed to do that.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, you're allowed to break up with a boyfriend, but
you're not supposed to break up with your friend.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Because then it's like, well, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, why can't you keep these long lasting friendships when
it might have served a purpose or you've shifted, you've changed,
It could be just all about you and there's nothing
wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Yeah, things come into your life, things are people whatever
for a season or reason or a lifetime.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
We'll end on that so we don't go down another
rabbit hole of.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Authors or me singing.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
A Garth Brooks song.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Research like ny but.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Questions that just pop up that I don't know the
answer to about you, I gave mine, Like, if you
had to just up and move anywhere, but you've never
been there, where would it be?
Speaker 3 (22:37):
You know how happy it just made me that you
did that.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Questions that don't come up in the United States.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
It has to be in the United States.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
Yeah, I think about this often. Okay, so the question
you think about this often?
Speaker 1 (22:51):
If I have to move somewhere I've never been?
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Okay, no, Wow, finally asked me, I'm sure to think
of where you would move if you, like, had to
leave Nashville.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Paring for somebody to ask me this exact question.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Where is it? Because we're dying to know?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
So, No, what I meant to say is, I've been
I think about a lot if I if I.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
Move somewhere else, where would I move? Right? And I
don't know, Well, you have to pick a place, but
if it was somewhere, it has to be somewhere that
I've never been.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You've never been.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
That's even harder because I feel like I visit the
places that I would want to go. So I'm thinking
I would want to move somewhere in New England.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
Like Maine, Yes, Maine, Nantucket, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Yeah, I don't know. I think that's what I would want.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Is that too a pity?
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah? I don't know if I would fit in.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
But have you ever been No? Okay, well, I have
been to Maine. I've been to Portland, Maine. I don't
want to live there.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
It's too small. So I guess I couldn't be Boston either,
because I've been to Boston. Okay. Here, I moved to Vermont. Yeah,
I think I might hate it.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
It's legit. That's where Olivia Pope and fits President Grant.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
These are fictional people. How do I know that name?
Speaker 1 (24:17):
They? You know. I don't want to get anything in
a way.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But okay, I take it back. I would move to Connecticut.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Okay, all right, hope you have the day you need
to have. Bye.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
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Amy Brown
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