March 27, 2022 • 33 mins
Bonus Episode!! As part of a new listener led series, Amy sat down with podcast listener, Ashley Beck, and answered a list of questions she came up with!! Hope you enjoy this little Q&A whether you listen to it on a ‘Sunday Stroll’ {shout out ‘The Walk Thing’ — iykyk} or not! :) Fun Fact: Ashley is a lawyer and mom of 3…her daughters came to surprise us and say hi at the end!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Sunday. Welcome to listener Q and A Number three.
I'm sitting across from Ashley on zoom and Ashley, I'm
gonna go ahead and hand it over to you. You
can tell us a little bit about yourself, how long
you've been listening, and then get right into your questions.
All right, thanks so much for having me, Ammy, I
appreciate it. So I started listening to the Bobby Bones Show.
(00:27):
And I think it was two thousand and seventeen. I
went to law school in Knoxville and have some really
good friends who live in Nashville, and I was there visiting,
and it was the first time I had actually driven
to Nashville by myself with my kids, and we came
across the show on the radio. We really liked it.
I think you were kind of in the midst of
like some struggles with adopting your kids at that time,
(00:48):
and I just really kind of touched my heart. And
so when we got back to Baton Ridge, which is
where we live, I found the Bobby Bones Show on
a radio station here, and my kids and I have
just really enjoyed listening ever since I started listening to
your podcast. You know, soon after that time period, but
really started listening more during like COVID quarantine. I started
(01:08):
walking every day just to get out of the house,
and so I started listening to your podcast. I really
enjoyed it, and I've been a pretty faithful listener ever
since then. Well, I love that you would walk and
list of the podcasts because and now you're hosting this
is a listener lead part of the podcast where people
can walk if they want to, but they can also
do nothing while they're listening if they want to know pressure,
(01:31):
but the started off as kind of like the walk thing.
In case you haven't heard it, us refer to it
is that it is a listener Q and A, but
some listeners also call it the Sunday stroll. So if
this can be your companion while you walk, then you
know even cooler. I love it full circle. Okay, so
I'll just start with you know you. You are a
person who's obviously in the spotlight and who I think
(01:54):
probably a lot of your listeners um we feel like
we know you to some extent. It might make you
know a lot of assumptions based on you know, what
we hear on the show or on the podcast. But
if I were to meet you, like at a kids
sporting event or at a party, and you know, I
didn't know anything about you, and I said, oh, I
mean nice to me. You tell me. Tell me about yourself.
What would you say? I would probably start off with
(02:15):
that I am a mom to too adopted kids or haiti,
and then I might go into my career a little bit,
but not with too many details. I would probably just
say I work in radio, and then if people are
interested in that, then they ask more questions, Oh well,
what do you do or where? And then oh, I
work in more I do mornings, and then it may
lead to another question. I guess it just depends on
(02:36):
the environment. Like you said, if it's a kids sporting game,
we're mostly going to probably talk about kids stuff, and
I may ask about them. If we're at a party,
depending on who's the party for what, I can kind
of shift and mold into any different scenario. I probably
am not going to be the person in the corner,
but I'm also not going to be the most confident,
loudest person there, or however you define that person life
(03:00):
of the party. I'm not necessarily life at the party,
but I'm not person in the corner. Somewhere in the
middle of that, and I can always try to tell
a good story or I'm open to, you know, sharing
something about my life. Ironically, sometimes I share more with
strangers than I do with people that I'm super close to.
That's something. I had a little birthday gathering the other
(03:22):
night at my house with about five girlfriends, and we
were talking about that and this being like the year
of connection and wanting to connect more and sharing more
of myself with friends, but friends also sharing more with
me and just true connection. I think I mentioned something
like that about how sometimes I open up more to strangers,
(03:44):
and then she said, and isn't it ironic that you
do that every morning with a microphone, which I thought
back over some of my friendships over the years, because
I've been on the Bobby Bones Show for this summer
will be sixteen years. Early on it did cause and
I'm sure maybe even still I deal with it, but
I remember early on it was made aware to me
that with my family and friends that they would listen
(04:06):
to the radio and have to learn something about me,
and that annoyed them. And I mean, I understand that,
but I mean I was like, oh, I'm just I
have to have something to talk about. So I'm talking
about it and I prepped it and then here we are.
I didn't intentionally mean to tell other people before you,
because it just feels like I'm talking into microphone and
I know we're connecting with a lot of people. But anyway,
(04:28):
that's something I've had to be aware of, is what
I say on the microphone to millions of people before
I say to loved ones. Kind of important to check
the loved ones box first before I blasted on the radio.
Kind of along those lines, I've heard you kind of
talk about that, like, you know, opening yourself up more
to people and being more trusting and being able to
(04:52):
connect with people and you know, share more about yourself
and some of the like personal work I have done. Lately,
I've been reading about how business and self sufficiency can
be trauma responses, and you know, I wonder if that
resonates with you at all, and if, as you are
working through trying to let people in more, if you
(05:12):
have had to let go of some self sufficiency or
some you know, letting people into help you. Okay, just
to clarify sometimes where I'm coming from, which I know
when I say I want to connect more. It may
seem right away that I'm more guarded and I don't trust.
I actually trust easily, but then I'm taking it through
(05:32):
a filter of like don't connect too much. Like again,
I'll share a lot with strangers, or I'll even share
a lot with friends. I'll let them in on stuff
with me, but like, if I feel too invested in
what's going on with them, I sort of kept a
wall up to protect myself from if they ever hurt me,
it won't hurt as bad. So I kind of again,
(05:55):
I share freely and I trust freely, but then I
sort of surface at the same time because as long
as it was surface with them, And that's probably going
back to my nine year old self trauma of like
my dad leaving and then having some other relationships that
didn't really connect even though my mom was you know,
she raised me, but she didn't emotionally connect with me.
(06:18):
And that was because her mom did not emotionally connect
with her at Also, I had two parents that didn't
get that from their families that then they sort of
passed it on to us. And I think my sister
and I are breaking that cycle. Somewhere. Someone has to
break it and my sister is is great at that
and has modeled that for me. But as I'm an
(06:38):
adult and I see the filter that I'm putting it through.
So that's what I mean about connection, is really connecting
with others and that like, yes, tell me more. I
want to be invested. I'm not scared that you're going
to leave me or hurt me. So let's go all in,
let's all me, all you, let's do this. So more
of that. And then when it comes to staying busy
(07:02):
or doing doing different things for trauma response, I think
I can do that with sometimes work, a lot of
times vacuuming or cleaning around my house or laundry. That's
why this last weekend for my birthday, I needed some
time to be intentional about a few things. And I
knew if I stayed I could have stayed at my
house because my house was empty for some of it
(07:23):
because my kids were at the beach. But I knew
that I would get distracted and I would do it
on purpose and make myself busy to where I didn't
really take care of some other things that I needed
to inside my head. And then also for years and
years and years, I numbed out or didn't address things
(07:45):
with my eating disorder. So that is a perfect distraction
from life. Is if your brain is totally focused on
If you've ever dealt with any type of eating disorder,
you know it's the perfect escape from everything else that's
going on in your life because you're so consumed with
that that you can't be consumed with other things, including
(08:05):
relationships with other people in connections. So that's another piece
to my puzzle that didn't allow me to connect. It
as a very selfish, but I say that with compassion
at the same time, and I'm saying that this is
my story. I'm certainly not calling anybody else selfish, but
for me, I recognize my eating disorder, but again with
compassion and grace for myself because my body was doing
(08:27):
what it needed to do to take care of me
and come out and protect me from some other hurts
and pains. But that caused other hurts and pains in
my relationships because again my brain was occupied by thoughts
about food and working out and wait and all these
things that were distracting me from true connection. Yeah, that's
a huge can take a probably almost all of your
(08:48):
brain space and all of your time. It's exactly yeah, yeah,
if that's what is your struggle that you're dealing with,
so totally concede that. So you talked a little bit
about your parents and like going through your parents divorce,
and UM, I've heard you, you know, reference that a lot.
And I've also just been really kind of in awe
of the love that you have for both of your parents,
(09:10):
and you know, I'm sure that there's a lot of
behind the scenes work that has gone into you know,
that reality. And I wonder if you would be willing
to share anything that you've learned about forgiveness and how
forgiveness plays a role in healing those relationships, other relationships, um,
(09:31):
maybe healing some things in yourself. It absolutely does. And
it's so interesting you're asking me this question today because
sometimes it comes over me that both of my parents
are gone, and I mean, I think about them throughout
the days at different times, but today, in particular, I
was driving home from work and it was silent in
my car, and I had made a phone call I
(09:53):
think actually to my sister, but she didn't answer, and
then I just was reminded of how I used to
be able to call my mom or my dad and
talk to them, and I was like, oh my gosh,
I can't call them, and I know that. And my
mom she passed away in two thousand and fourteen. My dad,
it's almost been a year, so it's not like it's
super fresh, although I will say there is no timeline
for grief. But I had that overwhelming, like I've felt
(10:17):
it in my body, like I can't call either of
my parents, and I know there's other people listening in
that same boat. Heather McMahon, she's a comedian that I follow,
and her mom is still alive, but her dad passed
away and she is hilarious. But she says she's a
member of the dead dad club, which might seem insensitive.
(10:38):
Also at the same time, it's like, hey, you know,
we're a club and it sucks to be a part
of it. But I love her humor and how she's
hurting and she has pain, but she's bringing laughter to
it at the same time. And yeah, I'm just part
of the dead parents club and it's a bummer, but
I couldn't call them, so anyway, just interesting. I had
(10:59):
no idea you're asking me this question. But I will
say back to forgiveness, I was modeled that early on
because my dad left my mom for somebody else. And
I was nine years old when he sat us down
to say he was leaving, and I didn't understand what
that meant. He didn't say it was for this other woman.
I didn't know about her at the time. I thought
(11:21):
maybe he was going on a business trip. It just
was this. I was like, why is my sister's bawling crying.
She was older than me at the time, so she understood.
And then he left. And then I remember he took
me to dinner. I don't recommend doing this. Clearly, he
had no counsel or guidance. I don't think my dad
went to therapy a day in his life. But he
took me to dinner, and then I remember he took
(11:43):
me back to the house and we were sitting in
my room and I was on my bed and he
was on my floor, and he said, do you know
what an affair is? And I just was like huh,
And I just remember I started bawling, crying. I don't
even think I really truly knew what an affair was.
But he started to explain to me that he was
in love with this woman. I won't say your name,
blah blah blah. Well, they ended up getting married. They
got divorced when I was probably thirty three, but they
(12:06):
were together a very long time, like from nine to
thirty three. So what was modeled me during that time
is my mom never said anything negative about my dad
or her the entire time, and my mom truly forgave
him for that. My dad never asked my mom for
(12:27):
forgiveness until she was dying from cancer. And we my
aunt just went over this story with me last weekend
when I was in Austin or I guess now two
weekends ago. But she said that she went out to
dinner with my dad and my sister had sort of
had a similar conversation with them too, So it's sort
of like the Lord was saying, like, Cliff, get your
act together. You need to go say this to Judy
(12:50):
because she was in hospice at the Christopher House in
her final days. And you know, my aunt said at dinner,
she said, Cliff, like all that Judy has wanted the
last plus years is for you to just acknowledge that
what you did was wrong and just to say sorry.
That would just mean so much to her and It's
(13:11):
not like my mom had said anything to my aunt
about it. She just knew. And then sure enough my
dad and I know it was not easy for him
to do. But my sister and I were both in
the room. We were sitting over on the couch and
when we saw my dad walk over to my mom
and he we have a picture of it too. He's
like kind of brushing her hair what she had left
of it and putting his fingers through it, and he
(13:33):
bent down and he said, Judy, I just want you
to know I'm I'm sorry, and I hope you forgive me.
And of course she did, and then they kissed, like
a sweet kiss type thing. But for us to witness that,
so I saw it when I was nine, and how
my mom chose to handle it, and then I almost
saw like a full circle moment of like our life
(13:56):
flash before us. And my dad's divorced at this point
from the fourth wife. I guess they got divorced maybe
when I was thirty one, because then I think my
mom died when I was like thirty three. They had
been divorced maybe a couple of years after the divorce.
When my dad was single again, he started trying to
date my mom, and my mom had been waiting. She
(14:17):
would have taken him back, and she had been waiting
that whole time, and she was sort of so perplexed
by it and confused because she's like, seriously, I'm a
little busy right now. I work full time and I'm
dealing with cancer. But like, sure, you want to go
to dinner. So they became friends again. She wouldn't date him.
(14:37):
My dad would take her to doctor's appointments because she
was living in Austin but was an m d Anderson
getting treatment, so there was a lot of travel back
and forth from Houston to Austin and Austin to Houston.
She had her team, her her warriors, like we all rotated.
There was a list of friends and family and my
dad was on that list, and of those people, the
(14:57):
list of people that was they were part of that team.
At her celebration of life, which is what we called
her funeral, we had everybody line up on the stage
to just say like, these these are the people, these
are moms, people that made it happen. And it was
so cool for my sister and I to look back
we were on the stage to looking at all the
people and my dad was in that lineup. Who would
(15:19):
have thought, like, you know, ten years before that, we
probably wouldn't have pictured that happening. But I say all
this just to give people hope that it is possible
to do things in an amicable kind way. And what
my dad did wasn't you know. My dad had his
own issues and again he was married four times. After
my mom passed away, he started dating my sister's husband's grandma,
(15:43):
So there's that whole thing. But you know, my dad
was still he was a good person. He just had
his own stuff with connection and relationships and stuff from
his childhood and things he didn't want to deal with,
and like I said, he didn't deal with them. He didn't.
But I was super proud of him for starting to
(16:05):
realize later in life what's truly important, and for him,
it was connection. But he realized it in his seventies
instead of like where I'm starting to realize it in
my thirties, late thirties and forties. So I'm thankful for
for having the realization sooner, but I'm glad he did
get to have it, and I'm glad I got to
(16:27):
witness it, and I'm thankful for how cool. Both my
parents were flaws and all. I missed them every day
and wish I could pick up the phone and call them.
But if you're like me, just know that you're not alone.
And Heather mcman would say, hashtag dead parents club. Laughter
(16:50):
is good medicine sometimes and sometimes makes it so that
you can talk about things that maybe otherwise uncomfortable and
kind of like get to the heart of things. So
thanks for sharing all of that. It's really powerful, just
the way that you know. I'm a Christian, so I
would say, you know the way that God worked and
your family and the way that God worked through your mom,
your mom being just somebody who was able to shield
(17:13):
you off from I'm sure probably a lot of hurt
on her part as children and and I'm divorced mom
of three kids, so you're not gonna identify with with
probably some of that, And but that just speaks really
highly of what your mom was able to do and
probably in some ways the way God used that to
work in your dad's life, to bring him to a
place that he was able to come and ask forgiveness
(17:35):
on his own and not guilted or shamed or for
into it. And I know that that was something my
mom prayed for just for that, you know, she had
forgiven him. She actually she didn't need him to do that,
because she had already let that go. But for her
to get that in her final days was such a
(17:56):
gift because you know, it just meant the world to
her to hear those words. And so yeah, absolutely, and
other people had been praying for it too. So what
a gift to you and your sister. And what a
gift to your dad too, Oh yeah, because I'm sure
it was healing for him as well. Okay, I was
(18:26):
wondering if maybe you would be willing to share a
little bit about some defining moments in your life personally
or professionally. Well, gosh, those are some big ones that
we already talked about. I would say a defining moment
for sure is when I was a little kid when
my dad left and that changed the trajectory of our
family forever. So that was something that was defining. I
(18:50):
think when I didn't get into Texas A and M,
which was the only college I applied to, that was
a defining moment for me because it almost shocked me
into showing myself what I could do. So I ended
up having to go to Blend, which is a junior
college next door to College Station. And I was so embarrassed,
(19:13):
which I had no reason to be. I don't know why,
but I was eighteen and young, but I had only
applied to one school and then I didn't get in.
So then I went to Blind and I all my
friends were my close friends, were at Texas A and M,
and I wanted to be there with them. Like I
had roommates, we had an apartment. They went to A
and M. I went to Bland, well at least some
I think half of it. We were like half and half.
But my goal was to get in, and I worked
(19:36):
so hard and left. I was at Blend for my
freshman year only and left there with a three point
nine g p A and got right into Texas A
and M. And so that was a moment for me
where I was like, oh, if I pushed myself, I
can do that. And even now at forty one, I
think back to that girl sometimes when I need to
get determined to buckle down and do it, I'm like,
(19:57):
you are smart, you can do this, which brings me
back to another defining moment is somewhere in my childhood
by various people won't name names. I was told or
given the impression. I don't think it's like they looked
at me in my face and said you're dumb. But
basically they painted a picture for me that I wasn't
very smart. So then I started to believe that I
wasn't smart, which then defined how I went through my
(20:19):
whole education journey, because when you have that thought in
your head, it definitely affects how you learn. And also
I have this scar on my head, another defining moment,
which now that I'm doing neuro feedback, that she thinks
that's when possibly I got a d D or a
d h D is actually what I was diagnosed with
(20:39):
when I was nineteen, but I never I went all
the way through school in high school, never getting tested,
just really struggling with school. And then finally when I
was an adult and I was in college, I went
to a doctor in a test because I'm like, something's
not right, and my mom would never she didn't want
me to be on any medication or anything. And that's
when I first took medication for it, and it changed
my life in a way, but then also scared me
(21:01):
because it altered my personality and I was focusing a
little too much and I missed some of my self.
So then I got off medication. And then I'm not
saying medication is bad for some people, it's great. But
for me in my twenties and some of my thirties,
I was on and off different A d D meds.
And then now I'm not medicating and I'm doing neuro feedback,
(21:21):
and I found that to be super helpful. But for
her to tell me that this scar in my head
when I hit it, She's like, I wish I could
interview your parents or your teachers before that accident and
after to see how it changed you, because that's the
part of your brain where that is affected. And so
it's cool. I'd say a current defining moment for me
(21:41):
is neuro feedback because it's been a game changer. I
feel myself turning into a different person. I'm not totally
there yet, I mean, same personality, but also just less
overwhelmed and I can complete tasks. I have less anxiety.
I have some circumstantial anxiety that pops up, but I
don't ruminate over things. I just get things done. And
(22:03):
it's not dramatic I'm like, Okay, I have this to do,
this to do It's like a non event, and that's
how some people function naturally, and that just has never
been me. Things are just big deals, like little things
are a big deal. And so those are just to
name a few, because I mean, we already went over
like my parents dying, other defining moments in my life,
adopting kids, becoming a mom, getting married, those are kind
(22:27):
of the givens. But those are just some little ones
about myself that a negative thinking I wasn't very smart.
But then also now coming back around, speaking of full
circle too, now I'm an adult and I'm like, I'm
still having to remind myself I'm not stupid. And if
anybody else is in the same position. I want you
to know that you are smart, and I want you
(22:47):
to believe it. I want you to truly believe it.
And when you do, it's amazing how your brain will
open up and start to respond to things when you
truly start to believe in yourself. And I hate that
any kid is ever made to believe that they are
less than I hate that when you were talking, it
reminded me of growing up. I always say that my
Mom made my brothers and me think that we were
(23:07):
way smarter than we really were. You know, she just
really believed in us and told us how smart we
were and how you know great we were at school
and really pumped us up. And it wasn't until I
got to law school but I was like, I'm not
quite as smart as Mom maybe up to be. But
you know, it's the power of influence that we have,
especially over children, and what an awesome responsibility that is
(23:30):
to give them, like the confidence to move forward and
the confidence too. I think that's the key thing, is confidence.
Because even I followed Dr Becky who's at Dr Becky
Good Insight on Instagram. Do you follow her? Yes? I do?
Love Okay, She's amazing And so what a lot of
parenting experts are saying to us now is like using
(23:51):
the word smart probably isn't the best thing to do.
And even my cousin was on Four Things a couple
of weeks ago and we were joking about how growing
up everyone called her PC, which is perfect child, and
it put a lot of pressure on herself. I mean,
it put pressure all the way up through college, I mean,
and it led to a lot of issues because she
felt like she was always having to be so perfect
(24:11):
all the time and these expectations. And so now what
I try to implement my home is if my kids
bring home a great, a good great, no matter what
it is that is happening, I just say something, Wow,
you must have worked really hard on that, something along
the lines of that, which you can look up all
that Dr Becky has to say on that. But I
(24:31):
catch myself self still still doing it because I want
them to know they're smart. And then I'm like, oh,
because I don't want them to feel like if they
bring home a bad grade that suddenly that means they're
not smart. That's the thinking behind that, And I'm thankful
for experts that are teaching us the good ways to
parent and the good things to say to our kids
so that they do grow up with a healthy image
(24:52):
and expectation of themselves and just know that if they're
doing their best and they're trying hard, just because they
get a certain grade doesn't make them aren't or quotes
not stupid or not smart or dumb or whatever word
you want to put into there, because that's also can
be difficult for a kid to digest. So as long
as they know they're working hard. And definitely, yes, let's
(25:12):
say it again for people in the back at Dr
Becky Good inside Instagram, you gotta follow her. She's the best,
She's awesome. Well, and I would probably kind of need
to close out, So if you want to share four
things that you are grateful for today, I would love
to hear. I'll say that I'm thankful for Cara. She's
my dog. She's laying at my feet right now, and
(25:33):
I'm actually thankful that she's not barking or licking or scratching,
because I love having her in my podcast room. But
she's normally super loud, so I'm thankful that she was
quiet today. I am thankful to be reunited with my kiddos.
That they were on a little spring break trip. My
husband took them to the beach. And while it was
(25:54):
nice to get a little mom break, because I don't
get a spring break on the Bobby Bones Show. We
take vacation and summer in Christmas, and so they were
just going to be stuck here, and you know, my
husband's able to work remotely, so he worked from Florida
took them. They met up with some other friends that
have kids that were down there, and I love that
(26:15):
they got to do that. So I'm thankful they went
on that trip, but I'm also thankful to be back
with them. I am thankful for a book by quart
tole A. I don't I don't ever know if I'm
saying his name right. It's such a fancy Okay, thanks
the Power of Now. I was listening to that a
little bit on my little weekend away. That's just definitely
(26:38):
the type of thing to listen to when you're trying
to reflect and taking a bunch of stuff. And I
gotta tell you, it's stuff that I'm probably gonna have
to read, Like I like listening to certain things, but
also reading some things if it's a lot, And this
is amazing stuff. So I feel like I need to
get the book version two and start highlighting some things
and revisiting it. So I am thankful for that book.
(26:59):
If you haven't checked it out, I recommend that have
you read it? I haven't, but I love him, so
I can't wait. Yeah, So the Power of Now is
what it's called. And then my fourth thing that I'm
thankful for is the Gilded Age on HBO Max. It's
sort of like Downton Abbey, but the US version, so
(27:19):
it takes place in the late eighteen hundreds in New
York and the social structure back then and like the
Vanderbilts and all old money versus new money, and you know,
daughters having coming out parties and debutantes and how I mean,
the whole thing is just wild to think about. But
the different classes, and it's like, that's how it used
(27:42):
to be. Like sometimes I feel like we still have
it pretty bad. But oh man, it would have been
wild to live in those times for sure, and I'm
I'm obsessed with it. I also watched that on my
weekend away. So if you have HBO, Max, I highly
recommend The Gilded Age. Do you have a show that
you'd like to recommend. I've been watching Yellowstone. I was
late to the game on Yellowstone, and I really like it.
(28:04):
It's one of those like I like to have shows that, like,
I know, I cannot watch with my kids. It's like
my own thing. Yeah, that has been my binge show lately,
and I'm almost done with season four, so oh, I'm
so jealous. Like there's some shows that I would love
to go back and watch for the first time that
obviously that can't happen. So I live vicariously through people.
They're doing that. So I'm doing that right now with
(28:26):
you and Yellowstone, but I do it with people anytime
they start Friday Nightlights, I'm so jealous. Oh my gosh,
I love that show. Or anybody that reads Hunger Games,
I'm so jealous. Like yes, I mean, I know I
just recommended in It arn't totally book, but Hunger Games
is also amazing. When my oldest daughter started reading it,
(28:47):
I was just like so happy because it kind of
felt like I was reading it again, you know. It
was like I got to hear her perceptions of all
of it, and it was really fun. How old are
your kids? I have three daughters, is there, Silen? So
I grew up a brother. So having three girls in
the house has been such a learning experience for me
(29:09):
and just such a joyful experience honestly for me. So
I love being a girl mom. It's it's been a
lot of fun. Well, thank you for emailing me to
be a part of the listener Q and A and
coming up with some awesome questions and just being a
part of this community. I appreciate it and everyone listening
to this um right now. If you think you would
(29:32):
like to lead one and you've got questions, you can
send me an email four Things with Amy Brown at
gmail dot com. And I loved Ashley's email. She even
said you didn't even write like too too much, and
then at the entry's like, sorry for the novel, and
I'm like, if you call this a novel, I can
ramble way more than this. So it's it's not lost
(29:54):
on me that it's a really big deal to just
email someone that you've never met. It means a lot,
and I try to get to what emails that I can,
but again, when it comes to prioritizing life and different things,
I can't respond to every single one. You never know
like you can even send it again. I know some
people have been like, hey, just sending this one more
(30:14):
time just in case, or hey, I emailed once a
year ago, but I'm trying again, So thank you for that.
I know it's sort of like a hey, just shooting
shot kind of thing, shot in the dark, But Ashley
can attest like you may hear back one day and
then you could be leading this for for everyone in
(30:35):
our community. We're all just like a four Things family.
And also to I'll just say this, I wanted to
just say thank you again because some people don't listen
to all the different episodes. But I had a birthday
fundraiser for the orphanage, and I know a lot of
you were a part of supporting that, and we raised
from different people shopping and then just straight up making
(30:56):
donations because some people just wanted to donate and not
buy like a four things item or a spoare pimp
and joy, which for everyone that did, it's amazing. But
I don't know, I need to get like the final
final numbers, but it's over fifty dollars, which I mean
the wall alone to build a new wall is seventeen thousand.
(31:16):
I mean it's gonna go quick. Like the salaries for
the teachers. We could definitely give them bonuses, but their
salary for years about twenty five thousands, so we can
cover some of that. The well needs to be fixed.
We're gonna get the wheelchairs for the kids, but the
well we're also going to look because getting a filtration
system put in. So all of these funds are gonna
(31:36):
go to great use, but we're basically already have them.
Have it all spent but it just warms my heart
to know that y'all are want to be a part
of helping the Orphanage where my kids grew up. And
while the campaign is technically over again, like I said,
this money is going quick, we still have items up.
So if you want to check out the shot forward
(31:56):
dot com slash haiti, there's still it that are available
and we'll continue to just put it towards needs that
come up at the Orphanage. So I just wanted to
use this time to say thank you and Ashley, thank
you for emailing and for talking. I told Ashley before
we started recording and now I'm gonna have to speed
to go pick up my daughter. Just kidding that speed,
but I mean I'll get there. And I was like,
I've got to go forget my daughter from school, and
(32:18):
I will go on and on and on and on.
So I'm just giving you a heads out there. We're
gonna have to wrap, but look at me, I'm already
going over because I just love this so much. It's
so fun to connect. So that being said, I gotta go, Ashley.
Is there anything you want to promote or share or
say or do, and then we can say our goodbyes.
My girls would like to say bye before we leave. Yeah, okay,
(32:41):
so we've got ages sixteen, thirteen, and eleven. Why don't
you introduce yourselves. I'm Caroline, I'm Camille, and I'm Charlotte. Okay,
so that was the six year old, eleven year old,
thirteen year old in that order. Well, hey, girls, Well
thank you so much for I guess listening. Y'all. Listen
(33:01):
to the Bobby Bones Show or the podcast okay every point,
I love it. Awesome. Well, we'll download this if you
have phones, download this podcast and give it five stars
in rite and review. Thank you, yes, ma'am, I love it. Okay,
bye y'all
Happy Sunday. Welcome to listener Q and A Number three.
I'm sitting across from Ashley on zoom and Ashley, I'm
gonna go ahead and hand it over to you. You
can tell us a little bit about yourself, how long
you've been listening, and then get right into your questions.
All right, thanks so much for having me, Ammy, I
appreciate it. So I started listening to the Bobby Bones Show.
(00:27):
And I think it was two thousand and seventeen. I
went to law school in Knoxville and have some really
good friends who live in Nashville, and I was there visiting,
and it was the first time I had actually driven
to Nashville by myself with my kids, and we came
across the show on the radio. We really liked it.
I think you were kind of in the midst of
like some struggles with adopting your kids at that time,
(00:48):
and I just really kind of touched my heart. And
so when we got back to Baton Ridge, which is
where we live, I found the Bobby Bones Show on
a radio station here, and my kids and I have
just really enjoyed listening ever since I started listening to
your podcast. You know, soon after that time period, but
really started listening more during like COVID quarantine. I started
(01:08):
walking every day just to get out of the house,
and so I started listening to your podcast. I really
enjoyed it, and I've been a pretty faithful listener ever
since then. Well, I love that you would walk and
list of the podcasts because and now you're hosting this
is a listener lead part of the podcast where people
can walk if they want to, but they can also
do nothing while they're listening if they want to know pressure,
(01:31):
but the started off as kind of like the walk thing.
In case you haven't heard it, us refer to it
is that it is a listener Q and A, but
some listeners also call it the Sunday stroll. So if
this can be your companion while you walk, then you
know even cooler. I love it full circle. Okay, so
I'll just start with you know you. You are a
person who's obviously in the spotlight and who I think
(01:54):
probably a lot of your listeners um we feel like
we know you to some extent. It might make you
know a lot of assumptions based on you know, what
we hear on the show or on the podcast. But
if I were to meet you, like at a kids
sporting event or at a party, and you know, I
didn't know anything about you, and I said, oh, I
mean nice to me. You tell me. Tell me about yourself.
What would you say? I would probably start off with
(02:15):
that I am a mom to too adopted kids or haiti,
and then I might go into my career a little bit,
but not with too many details. I would probably just
say I work in radio, and then if people are
interested in that, then they ask more questions, Oh well,
what do you do or where? And then oh, I
work in more I do mornings, and then it may
lead to another question. I guess it just depends on
(02:36):
the environment. Like you said, if it's a kids sporting game,
we're mostly going to probably talk about kids stuff, and
I may ask about them. If we're at a party,
depending on who's the party for what, I can kind
of shift and mold into any different scenario. I probably
am not going to be the person in the corner,
but I'm also not going to be the most confident,
loudest person there, or however you define that person life
(03:00):
of the party. I'm not necessarily life at the party,
but I'm not person in the corner. Somewhere in the
middle of that, and I can always try to tell
a good story or I'm open to, you know, sharing
something about my life. Ironically, sometimes I share more with
strangers than I do with people that I'm super close to.
That's something. I had a little birthday gathering the other
(03:22):
night at my house with about five girlfriends, and we
were talking about that and this being like the year
of connection and wanting to connect more and sharing more
of myself with friends, but friends also sharing more with
me and just true connection. I think I mentioned something
like that about how sometimes I open up more to strangers,
(03:44):
and then she said, and isn't it ironic that you
do that every morning with a microphone, which I thought
back over some of my friendships over the years, because
I've been on the Bobby Bones Show for this summer
will be sixteen years. Early on it did cause and
I'm sure maybe even still I deal with it, but
I remember early on it was made aware to me
that with my family and friends that they would listen
(04:06):
to the radio and have to learn something about me,
and that annoyed them. And I mean, I understand that,
but I mean I was like, oh, I'm just I
have to have something to talk about. So I'm talking
about it and I prepped it and then here we are.
I didn't intentionally mean to tell other people before you,
because it just feels like I'm talking into microphone and
I know we're connecting with a lot of people. But anyway,
(04:28):
that's something I've had to be aware of, is what
I say on the microphone to millions of people before
I say to loved ones. Kind of important to check
the loved ones box first before I blasted on the radio.
Kind of along those lines, I've heard you kind of
talk about that, like, you know, opening yourself up more
to people and being more trusting and being able to
(04:52):
connect with people and you know, share more about yourself
and some of the like personal work I have done. Lately,
I've been reading about how business and self sufficiency can
be trauma responses, and you know, I wonder if that
resonates with you at all, and if, as you are
working through trying to let people in more, if you
(05:12):
have had to let go of some self sufficiency or
some you know, letting people into help you. Okay, just
to clarify sometimes where I'm coming from, which I know
when I say I want to connect more. It may
seem right away that I'm more guarded and I don't trust.
I actually trust easily, but then I'm taking it through
(05:32):
a filter of like don't connect too much. Like again,
I'll share a lot with strangers, or I'll even share
a lot with friends. I'll let them in on stuff
with me, but like, if I feel too invested in
what's going on with them, I sort of kept a
wall up to protect myself from if they ever hurt me,
it won't hurt as bad. So I kind of again,
(05:55):
I share freely and I trust freely, but then I
sort of surface at the same time because as long
as it was surface with them, And that's probably going
back to my nine year old self trauma of like
my dad leaving and then having some other relationships that
didn't really connect even though my mom was you know,
she raised me, but she didn't emotionally connect with me.
(06:18):
And that was because her mom did not emotionally connect
with her at Also, I had two parents that didn't
get that from their families that then they sort of
passed it on to us. And I think my sister
and I are breaking that cycle. Somewhere. Someone has to
break it and my sister is is great at that
and has modeled that for me. But as I'm an
(06:38):
adult and I see the filter that I'm putting it through.
So that's what I mean about connection, is really connecting
with others and that like, yes, tell me more. I
want to be invested. I'm not scared that you're going
to leave me or hurt me. So let's go all in,
let's all me, all you, let's do this. So more
of that. And then when it comes to staying busy
(07:02):
or doing doing different things for trauma response, I think
I can do that with sometimes work, a lot of
times vacuuming or cleaning around my house or laundry. That's
why this last weekend for my birthday, I needed some
time to be intentional about a few things. And I
knew if I stayed I could have stayed at my
house because my house was empty for some of it
(07:23):
because my kids were at the beach. But I knew
that I would get distracted and I would do it
on purpose and make myself busy to where I didn't
really take care of some other things that I needed
to inside my head. And then also for years and
years and years, I numbed out or didn't address things
(07:45):
with my eating disorder. So that is a perfect distraction
from life. Is if your brain is totally focused on
If you've ever dealt with any type of eating disorder,
you know it's the perfect escape from everything else that's
going on in your life because you're so consumed with
that that you can't be consumed with other things, including
(08:05):
relationships with other people in connections. So that's another piece
to my puzzle that didn't allow me to connect. It
as a very selfish, but I say that with compassion
at the same time, and I'm saying that this is
my story. I'm certainly not calling anybody else selfish, but
for me, I recognize my eating disorder, but again with
compassion and grace for myself because my body was doing
(08:27):
what it needed to do to take care of me
and come out and protect me from some other hurts
and pains. But that caused other hurts and pains in
my relationships because again my brain was occupied by thoughts
about food and working out and wait and all these
things that were distracting me from true connection. Yeah, that's
a huge can take a probably almost all of your
(08:48):
brain space and all of your time. It's exactly yeah, yeah,
if that's what is your struggle that you're dealing with,
so totally concede that. So you talked a little bit
about your parents and like going through your parents divorce,
and UM, I've heard you, you know, reference that a lot.
And I've also just been really kind of in awe
of the love that you have for both of your parents,
(09:10):
and you know, I'm sure that there's a lot of
behind the scenes work that has gone into you know,
that reality. And I wonder if you would be willing
to share anything that you've learned about forgiveness and how
forgiveness plays a role in healing those relationships, other relationships, um,
(09:31):
maybe healing some things in yourself. It absolutely does. And
it's so interesting you're asking me this question today because
sometimes it comes over me that both of my parents
are gone, and I mean, I think about them throughout
the days at different times, but today, in particular, I
was driving home from work and it was silent in
my car, and I had made a phone call I
(09:53):
think actually to my sister, but she didn't answer, and
then I just was reminded of how I used to
be able to call my mom or my dad and
talk to them, and I was like, oh my gosh,
I can't call them, and I know that. And my
mom she passed away in two thousand and fourteen. My dad,
it's almost been a year, so it's not like it's
super fresh, although I will say there is no timeline
for grief. But I had that overwhelming, like I've felt
(10:17):
it in my body, like I can't call either of
my parents, and I know there's other people listening in
that same boat. Heather McMahon, she's a comedian that I follow,
and her mom is still alive, but her dad passed
away and she is hilarious. But she says she's a
member of the dead dad club, which might seem insensitive.
(10:38):
Also at the same time, it's like, hey, you know,
we're a club and it sucks to be a part
of it. But I love her humor and how she's
hurting and she has pain, but she's bringing laughter to
it at the same time. And yeah, I'm just part
of the dead parents club and it's a bummer, but
I couldn't call them, so anyway, just interesting. I had
(10:59):
no idea you're asking me this question. But I will
say back to forgiveness, I was modeled that early on
because my dad left my mom for somebody else. And
I was nine years old when he sat us down
to say he was leaving, and I didn't understand what
that meant. He didn't say it was for this other woman.
I didn't know about her at the time. I thought
(11:21):
maybe he was going on a business trip. It just
was this. I was like, why is my sister's bawling crying.
She was older than me at the time, so she understood.
And then he left. And then I remember he took
me to dinner. I don't recommend doing this. Clearly, he
had no counsel or guidance. I don't think my dad
went to therapy a day in his life. But he
took me to dinner, and then I remember he took
(11:43):
me back to the house and we were sitting in
my room and I was on my bed and he
was on my floor, and he said, do you know
what an affair is? And I just was like huh,
And I just remember I started bawling, crying. I don't
even think I really truly knew what an affair was.
But he started to explain to me that he was
in love with this woman. I won't say your name,
blah blah blah. Well, they ended up getting married. They
got divorced when I was probably thirty three, but they
(12:06):
were together a very long time, like from nine to
thirty three. So what was modeled me during that time
is my mom never said anything negative about my dad
or her the entire time, and my mom truly forgave
him for that. My dad never asked my mom for
(12:27):
forgiveness until she was dying from cancer. And we my
aunt just went over this story with me last weekend
when I was in Austin or I guess now two
weekends ago. But she said that she went out to
dinner with my dad and my sister had sort of
had a similar conversation with them too, So it's sort
of like the Lord was saying, like, Cliff, get your
act together. You need to go say this to Judy
(12:50):
because she was in hospice at the Christopher House in
her final days. And you know, my aunt said at dinner,
she said, Cliff, like all that Judy has wanted the
last plus years is for you to just acknowledge that
what you did was wrong and just to say sorry.
That would just mean so much to her and It's
(13:11):
not like my mom had said anything to my aunt
about it. She just knew. And then sure enough my
dad and I know it was not easy for him
to do. But my sister and I were both in
the room. We were sitting over on the couch and
when we saw my dad walk over to my mom
and he we have a picture of it too. He's
like kind of brushing her hair what she had left
of it and putting his fingers through it, and he
(13:33):
bent down and he said, Judy, I just want you
to know I'm I'm sorry, and I hope you forgive me.
And of course she did, and then they kissed, like
a sweet kiss type thing. But for us to witness that,
so I saw it when I was nine, and how
my mom chose to handle it, and then I almost
saw like a full circle moment of like our life
(13:56):
flash before us. And my dad's divorced at this point
from the fourth wife. I guess they got divorced maybe
when I was thirty one, because then I think my
mom died when I was like thirty three. They had
been divorced maybe a couple of years after the divorce.
When my dad was single again, he started trying to
date my mom, and my mom had been waiting. She
(14:17):
would have taken him back, and she had been waiting
that whole time, and she was sort of so perplexed
by it and confused because she's like, seriously, I'm a
little busy right now. I work full time and I'm
dealing with cancer. But like, sure, you want to go
to dinner. So they became friends again. She wouldn't date him.
(14:37):
My dad would take her to doctor's appointments because she
was living in Austin but was an m d Anderson
getting treatment, so there was a lot of travel back
and forth from Houston to Austin and Austin to Houston.
She had her team, her her warriors, like we all rotated.
There was a list of friends and family and my
dad was on that list, and of those people, the
(14:57):
list of people that was they were part of that team.
At her celebration of life, which is what we called
her funeral, we had everybody line up on the stage
to just say like, these these are the people, these
are moms, people that made it happen. And it was
so cool for my sister and I to look back
we were on the stage to looking at all the
people and my dad was in that lineup. Who would
(15:19):
have thought, like, you know, ten years before that, we
probably wouldn't have pictured that happening. But I say all
this just to give people hope that it is possible
to do things in an amicable kind way. And what
my dad did wasn't you know. My dad had his
own issues and again he was married four times. After
my mom passed away, he started dating my sister's husband's grandma,
(15:43):
So there's that whole thing. But you know, my dad
was still he was a good person. He just had
his own stuff with connection and relationships and stuff from
his childhood and things he didn't want to deal with,
and like I said, he didn't deal with them. He didn't.
But I was super proud of him for starting to
(16:05):
realize later in life what's truly important, and for him,
it was connection. But he realized it in his seventies
instead of like where I'm starting to realize it in
my thirties, late thirties and forties. So I'm thankful for
for having the realization sooner, but I'm glad he did
get to have it, and I'm glad I got to
(16:27):
witness it, and I'm thankful for how cool. Both my
parents were flaws and all. I missed them every day
and wish I could pick up the phone and call them.
But if you're like me, just know that you're not alone.
And Heather mcman would say, hashtag dead parents club. Laughter
(16:50):
is good medicine sometimes and sometimes makes it so that
you can talk about things that maybe otherwise uncomfortable and
kind of like get to the heart of things. So
thanks for sharing all of that. It's really powerful, just
the way that you know. I'm a Christian, so I
would say, you know the way that God worked and
your family and the way that God worked through your mom,
your mom being just somebody who was able to shield
(17:13):
you off from I'm sure probably a lot of hurt
on her part as children and and I'm divorced mom
of three kids, so you're not gonna identify with with
probably some of that, And but that just speaks really
highly of what your mom was able to do and
probably in some ways the way God used that to
work in your dad's life, to bring him to a
place that he was able to come and ask forgiveness
(17:35):
on his own and not guilted or shamed or for
into it. And I know that that was something my
mom prayed for just for that, you know, she had
forgiven him. She actually she didn't need him to do that,
because she had already let that go. But for her
to get that in her final days was such a
(17:56):
gift because you know, it just meant the world to
her to hear those words. And so yeah, absolutely, and
other people had been praying for it too. So what
a gift to you and your sister. And what a
gift to your dad too, Oh yeah, because I'm sure
it was healing for him as well. Okay, I was
(18:26):
wondering if maybe you would be willing to share a
little bit about some defining moments in your life personally
or professionally. Well, gosh, those are some big ones that
we already talked about. I would say a defining moment
for sure is when I was a little kid when
my dad left and that changed the trajectory of our
family forever. So that was something that was defining. I
(18:50):
think when I didn't get into Texas A and M,
which was the only college I applied to, that was
a defining moment for me because it almost shocked me
into showing myself what I could do. So I ended
up having to go to Blend, which is a junior
college next door to College Station. And I was so embarrassed,
(19:13):
which I had no reason to be. I don't know why,
but I was eighteen and young, but I had only
applied to one school and then I didn't get in.
So then I went to Blind and I all my
friends were my close friends, were at Texas A and M,
and I wanted to be there with them. Like I
had roommates, we had an apartment. They went to A
and M. I went to Bland, well at least some
I think half of it. We were like half and half.
But my goal was to get in, and I worked
(19:36):
so hard and left. I was at Blend for my
freshman year only and left there with a three point
nine g p A and got right into Texas A
and M. And so that was a moment for me
where I was like, oh, if I pushed myself, I
can do that. And even now at forty one, I
think back to that girl sometimes when I need to
get determined to buckle down and do it, I'm like,
(19:57):
you are smart, you can do this, which brings me
back to another defining moment is somewhere in my childhood
by various people won't name names. I was told or
given the impression. I don't think it's like they looked
at me in my face and said you're dumb. But
basically they painted a picture for me that I wasn't
very smart. So then I started to believe that I
wasn't smart, which then defined how I went through my
(20:19):
whole education journey, because when you have that thought in
your head, it definitely affects how you learn. And also
I have this scar on my head, another defining moment,
which now that I'm doing neuro feedback, that she thinks
that's when possibly I got a d D or a
d h D is actually what I was diagnosed with
(20:39):
when I was nineteen, but I never I went all
the way through school in high school, never getting tested,
just really struggling with school. And then finally when I
was an adult and I was in college, I went
to a doctor in a test because I'm like, something's
not right, and my mom would never she didn't want
me to be on any medication or anything. And that's
when I first took medication for it, and it changed
my life in a way, but then also scared me
(21:01):
because it altered my personality and I was focusing a
little too much and I missed some of my self.
So then I got off medication. And then I'm not
saying medication is bad for some people, it's great. But
for me in my twenties and some of my thirties,
I was on and off different A d D meds.
And then now I'm not medicating and I'm doing neuro feedback,
(21:21):
and I found that to be super helpful. But for
her to tell me that this scar in my head
when I hit it, She's like, I wish I could
interview your parents or your teachers before that accident and
after to see how it changed you, because that's the
part of your brain where that is affected. And so
it's cool. I'd say a current defining moment for me
(21:41):
is neuro feedback because it's been a game changer. I
feel myself turning into a different person. I'm not totally
there yet, I mean, same personality, but also just less
overwhelmed and I can complete tasks. I have less anxiety.
I have some circumstantial anxiety that pops up, but I
don't ruminate over things. I just get things done. And
(22:03):
it's not dramatic I'm like, Okay, I have this to do,
this to do It's like a non event, and that's
how some people function naturally, and that just has never
been me. Things are just big deals, like little things
are a big deal. And so those are just to
name a few, because I mean, we already went over
like my parents dying, other defining moments in my life,
adopting kids, becoming a mom, getting married, those are kind
(22:27):
of the givens. But those are just some little ones
about myself that a negative thinking I wasn't very smart.
But then also now coming back around, speaking of full
circle too, now I'm an adult and I'm like, I'm
still having to remind myself I'm not stupid. And if
anybody else is in the same position. I want you
to know that you are smart, and I want you
(22:47):
to believe it. I want you to truly believe it.
And when you do, it's amazing how your brain will
open up and start to respond to things when you
truly start to believe in yourself. And I hate that
any kid is ever made to believe that they are
less than I hate that when you were talking, it
reminded me of growing up. I always say that my
Mom made my brothers and me think that we were
(23:07):
way smarter than we really were. You know, she just
really believed in us and told us how smart we
were and how you know great we were at school
and really pumped us up. And it wasn't until I
got to law school but I was like, I'm not
quite as smart as Mom maybe up to be. But
you know, it's the power of influence that we have,
especially over children, and what an awesome responsibility that is
(23:30):
to give them, like the confidence to move forward and
the confidence too. I think that's the key thing, is confidence.
Because even I followed Dr Becky who's at Dr Becky
Good Insight on Instagram. Do you follow her? Yes? I do?
Love Okay, She's amazing And so what a lot of
parenting experts are saying to us now is like using
(23:51):
the word smart probably isn't the best thing to do.
And even my cousin was on Four Things a couple
of weeks ago and we were joking about how growing
up everyone called her PC, which is perfect child, and
it put a lot of pressure on herself. I mean,
it put pressure all the way up through college, I mean,
and it led to a lot of issues because she
felt like she was always having to be so perfect
(24:11):
all the time and these expectations. And so now what
I try to implement my home is if my kids
bring home a great, a good great, no matter what
it is that is happening, I just say something, Wow,
you must have worked really hard on that, something along
the lines of that, which you can look up all
that Dr Becky has to say on that. But I
(24:31):
catch myself self still still doing it because I want
them to know they're smart. And then I'm like, oh,
because I don't want them to feel like if they
bring home a bad grade that suddenly that means they're
not smart. That's the thinking behind that, And I'm thankful
for experts that are teaching us the good ways to
parent and the good things to say to our kids
so that they do grow up with a healthy image
(24:52):
and expectation of themselves and just know that if they're
doing their best and they're trying hard, just because they
get a certain grade doesn't make them aren't or quotes
not stupid or not smart or dumb or whatever word
you want to put into there, because that's also can
be difficult for a kid to digest. So as long
as they know they're working hard. And definitely, yes, let's
(25:12):
say it again for people in the back at Dr
Becky Good inside Instagram, you gotta follow her. She's the best,
She's awesome. Well, and I would probably kind of need
to close out, So if you want to share four
things that you are grateful for today, I would love
to hear. I'll say that I'm thankful for Cara. She's
my dog. She's laying at my feet right now, and
(25:33):
I'm actually thankful that she's not barking or licking or scratching,
because I love having her in my podcast room. But
she's normally super loud, so I'm thankful that she was
quiet today. I am thankful to be reunited with my kiddos.
That they were on a little spring break trip. My
husband took them to the beach. And while it was
(25:54):
nice to get a little mom break, because I don't
get a spring break on the Bobby Bones Show. We
take vacation and summer in Christmas, and so they were
just going to be stuck here, and you know, my
husband's able to work remotely, so he worked from Florida
took them. They met up with some other friends that
have kids that were down there, and I love that
(26:15):
they got to do that. So I'm thankful they went
on that trip, but I'm also thankful to be back
with them. I am thankful for a book by quart
tole A. I don't I don't ever know if I'm
saying his name right. It's such a fancy Okay, thanks
the Power of Now. I was listening to that a
little bit on my little weekend away. That's just definitely
(26:38):
the type of thing to listen to when you're trying
to reflect and taking a bunch of stuff. And I
gotta tell you, it's stuff that I'm probably gonna have
to read, Like I like listening to certain things, but
also reading some things if it's a lot, And this
is amazing stuff. So I feel like I need to
get the book version two and start highlighting some things
and revisiting it. So I am thankful for that book.
(26:59):
If you haven't checked it out, I recommend that have
you read it? I haven't, but I love him, so
I can't wait. Yeah, So the Power of Now is
what it's called. And then my fourth thing that I'm
thankful for is the Gilded Age on HBO Max. It's
sort of like Downton Abbey, but the US version, so
(27:19):
it takes place in the late eighteen hundreds in New
York and the social structure back then and like the
Vanderbilts and all old money versus new money, and you know,
daughters having coming out parties and debutantes and how I mean,
the whole thing is just wild to think about. But
the different classes, and it's like, that's how it used
(27:42):
to be. Like sometimes I feel like we still have
it pretty bad. But oh man, it would have been
wild to live in those times for sure, and I'm
I'm obsessed with it. I also watched that on my
weekend away. So if you have HBO, Max, I highly
recommend The Gilded Age. Do you have a show that
you'd like to recommend. I've been watching Yellowstone. I was
late to the game on Yellowstone, and I really like it.
(28:04):
It's one of those like I like to have shows that, like,
I know, I cannot watch with my kids. It's like
my own thing. Yeah, that has been my binge show lately,
and I'm almost done with season four, so oh, I'm
so jealous. Like there's some shows that I would love
to go back and watch for the first time that
obviously that can't happen. So I live vicariously through people.
They're doing that. So I'm doing that right now with
(28:26):
you and Yellowstone, but I do it with people anytime
they start Friday Nightlights, I'm so jealous. Oh my gosh,
I love that show. Or anybody that reads Hunger Games,
I'm so jealous. Like yes, I mean, I know I
just recommended in It arn't totally book, but Hunger Games
is also amazing. When my oldest daughter started reading it,
(28:47):
I was just like so happy because it kind of
felt like I was reading it again, you know. It
was like I got to hear her perceptions of all
of it, and it was really fun. How old are
your kids? I have three daughters, is there, Silen? So
I grew up a brother. So having three girls in
the house has been such a learning experience for me
(29:09):
and just such a joyful experience honestly for me. So
I love being a girl mom. It's it's been a
lot of fun. Well, thank you for emailing me to
be a part of the listener Q and A and
coming up with some awesome questions and just being a
part of this community. I appreciate it and everyone listening
to this um right now. If you think you would
(29:32):
like to lead one and you've got questions, you can
send me an email four Things with Amy Brown at
gmail dot com. And I loved Ashley's email. She even
said you didn't even write like too too much, and
then at the entry's like, sorry for the novel, and
I'm like, if you call this a novel, I can
ramble way more than this. So it's it's not lost
(29:54):
on me that it's a really big deal to just
email someone that you've never met. It means a lot,
and I try to get to what emails that I can,
but again, when it comes to prioritizing life and different things,
I can't respond to every single one. You never know
like you can even send it again. I know some
people have been like, hey, just sending this one more
(30:14):
time just in case, or hey, I emailed once a
year ago, but I'm trying again, So thank you for that.
I know it's sort of like a hey, just shooting
shot kind of thing, shot in the dark, But Ashley
can attest like you may hear back one day and
then you could be leading this for for everyone in
(30:35):
our community. We're all just like a four Things family.
And also to I'll just say this, I wanted to
just say thank you again because some people don't listen
to all the different episodes. But I had a birthday
fundraiser for the orphanage, and I know a lot of
you were a part of supporting that, and we raised
from different people shopping and then just straight up making
(30:56):
donations because some people just wanted to donate and not
buy like a four things item or a spoare pimp
and joy, which for everyone that did, it's amazing. But
I don't know, I need to get like the final
final numbers, but it's over fifty dollars, which I mean
the wall alone to build a new wall is seventeen thousand.
(31:16):
I mean it's gonna go quick. Like the salaries for
the teachers. We could definitely give them bonuses, but their
salary for years about twenty five thousands, so we can
cover some of that. The well needs to be fixed.
We're gonna get the wheelchairs for the kids, but the
well we're also going to look because getting a filtration
system put in. So all of these funds are gonna
(31:36):
go to great use, but we're basically already have them.
Have it all spent but it just warms my heart
to know that y'all are want to be a part
of helping the Orphanage where my kids grew up. And
while the campaign is technically over again, like I said,
this money is going quick, we still have items up.
So if you want to check out the shot forward
(31:56):
dot com slash haiti, there's still it that are available
and we'll continue to just put it towards needs that
come up at the Orphanage. So I just wanted to
use this time to say thank you and Ashley, thank
you for emailing and for talking. I told Ashley before
we started recording and now I'm gonna have to speed
to go pick up my daughter. Just kidding that speed,
but I mean I'll get there. And I was like,
I've got to go forget my daughter from school, and
(32:18):
I will go on and on and on and on.
So I'm just giving you a heads out there. We're
gonna have to wrap, but look at me, I'm already
going over because I just love this so much. It's
so fun to connect. So that being said, I gotta go, Ashley.
Is there anything you want to promote or share or
say or do, and then we can say our goodbyes.
My girls would like to say bye before we leave. Yeah, okay,
(32:41):
so we've got ages sixteen, thirteen, and eleven. Why don't
you introduce yourselves. I'm Caroline, I'm Camille, and I'm Charlotte. Okay,
so that was the six year old, eleven year old,
thirteen year old in that order. Well, hey, girls, Well
thank you so much for I guess listening. Y'all. Listen
(33:01):
to the Bobby Bones Show or the podcast okay every point,
I love it. Awesome. Well, we'll download this if you
have phones, download this podcast and give it five stars
in rite and review. Thank you, yes, ma'am, I love it. Okay,
bye y'all
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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