Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!! Amy’s friend sent her a list of ‘March Affirmations’ and the one for 3/22 (today) is “Even here, I am growing!” Amy also wanted to share a few more: “I will bloom how I was meant to” (3/17) and “I am free to dream a new dream” (3/18). This led to a conversation about numbers and Amy referred to a note she got from her “psychic cousin” about the episode they recorded together last week fittingly being numbered episode #340. Amy share’s some of her skincare routine (per an email) and that leads to the girls talking about shaving their faces! Another listener emailed in asking Amy to share the name of the app she uses to store all of her passwords (a very helpful tool!). Amy & Kat then wanted to make sure everyone listening knows that being busy/exhausted doesn’t = your worth. You don’t have to chase that type of life & that doesn’t make you lazy!!!!!!! Kat then shared something that Shauna Niequist told her that was really powerful for her to hear about being a single person & setting boundaries!
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
TheShopForward.com/Haiti to shop for items supporting the orphanage that Amy’s kids grew up in (including stuff from the ‘4 Things’ line). ALL proceeds going to some concerns that have popped up this last month regarding security, water, education, etc.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing with Amy and Cat.
Today's quote is more like an affirmation. My friend Jackie
sent me a whole list of March affirmations, and so
there's one for March feet all the way through March
thirty one. And she first shared this with me at
a little like a birthday dinner thing that I had
(00:26):
last Thursday. So that was March seventeenth, which was I
will bloom how I was meant to. And then on
the eighteenth, which was my actual birthday, I am free
to dream a new dream. Yeah, and then today I'll
just read that one March two is even here. I
am growing. So the original poster of this was Morgan
(00:49):
Harper Nichols. Looks like it's a verified account, so maybe
someone you'll want to check out and follow. Um. But
it was a reels that was posted in. Jackie clearly
took a screenshot and then she texted it to us,
and I was just so thankful for it, like a
little March affirmation. What's gonna be your birthday? Dream? A
new dream? What's your new dream? Um? I have a
(01:10):
few dreams. It resonated with me in a different way.
I don't know, that it's something that like I could
share at the moment, but like some dreams brewing. Yeah.
We also at my house for that little birthday gathering,
ended up writing some intentions down and then releasing them
into water one by one. I was going to burn them,
(01:31):
but then my cousin who was on actually last Thursday's
Four Things, she's known as my psychic cousin on the
Bobby Bones Show. But we face timed her and she
was like, no, no, no, this it was a full
moon and she said, you got to release it into water.
This full moon is about water, not burning. There's a
time for burning. But I was gonna say I burned
things all the time. Yeah, well it's not a bad thing.
She was like, you could burn, but like she said,
(01:53):
just push it out into the water. So we did,
and we each wrote stuff down and then we stood
in a line and each person locked up. We were
going to go to a radner and put them in
the lake, but then it got late, so we just
put them in my hot tub. That's gonna say, did
you put them in the pool? And hopefully they're not
clogging my drain. I need to go check. But speaking
of the episode that I did with my cousin last Thursday,
(02:16):
something that Houston shout out, our podcast producer and editor.
He went through and numbered all of my episodes. So
I had never numbered my episodes before, which the point
in me wanting to go back and do that is
sometimes I like to reference an old episode, like I'm
going to reference that episode from last Thursday. It's episode
(02:38):
number three forty and so to the thank you um
when you go to the podcast feed, if you're looking
for a particular number that I may be referenced, like, hey,
go listen to this episode or this guest was great.
You can go back and find the number. It's way
easier which number mine. Well, if you're out there and
(02:59):
it was a asks, you can get with him when
you know, when he's got some extra time and he
can try to number Yours are numbered, But I'm I'm
thankful for it. But literally last week was my first
round of episodes ever being numbered, Like Thursday might have
been the first official numbered episode that was out there,
even though he retro numbered. Got it follow me. So
(03:21):
my cousin, the episode we did was about the gift
of time but also numerology because of my birthday and
my numbers and she's all into that. So she said,
once you start paying attention to it, numbers will be everywhere. Well,
she woke up the next morning and downloaded the episode
and pulled it up and she was like, you gotta
be kidding. She's like, this is episode three forty and
I said yeah, and she was like, um, hello, don't
(03:44):
you know in the episode we talked about your attitude number,
which is three, your life path number, which is four,
and then zero is the great equalizer. Shut up. Yes,
so three when she was on the go back and
listen to that episode, see this is me using that.
Go back and listen to episode three forty, and she
talked about how three is the communicator, the creative child,
the cares out his soul, the secret of joy, socialization,
(04:06):
and connection. And then at my birthday thing and we
were sitting around and I was like, this is a
year where I want more connection, Like I want to connect.
Then my cousin went in to say that four is
the number of process, routine analysis, organization and practicality, solid foundations, accomplishment,
establishing healthy boundaries, and stability. And I'm like, literally in
(04:28):
the season of all of that, wait, that is specific
to you. That's just no, that's the life path that's
specific to anybody that's in a four at the moment.
Four yes. And then the part about the zero, she said,
in the zero in the podcast episode is the great
stabilizer equalizer and levels up whatever it touches. The zero
is literally the circle of life. So my attitude number
(04:52):
and life path number and then the Great Equalizer ended
up being the number of the episode. That's weird. And
we pre that, we pre taped the episode before she
even knew what number Houston was like. And also she
figured out my attitude number of my life number by
doing all this math with the days like March three,
eighteen nine, so you add up like three plus one
(05:14):
plus eight plus one plus nine plus eight plus one,
and then you it's the whole I need to call
an episode. But isn't that that's weird. That's weird. It's
pretty wild, that's what she even said. She said, so wild.
I'm literally blown away that the show episode number is
three forty. She said. The signs and numbers are always validating,
(05:35):
confirming and speaking to us if we choose to pay attention. Well,
I have a hard time believing some of that stuff too,
but like then this stuff happens and I'm like, wait,
what it's a it's a quincidence or is it like
a little bit real? Right? I feel you want So
that's just a little fun fact. But anyway, what dreams
might me dreaming? I don't know. But here we are.
(05:58):
March affirmations was the quote for today. But I'm going
to get into an email that we got from Hannah
and Iowa. We're gonna like bring it back down to
something totally different. We're shifting. Hey, Amy and Cat, I'm
wondering what your face wash routine is and what products
you use. Also wondering about eye products. Thanks Hannah from Iowa.
Now I've talked about this like multiple times on the show,
(06:19):
but sometimes we get new listeners. But I am a
huge fan of zero, which is like dr Obaji, like
a different line that he has. My girl who on Instagram, Carrie,
she's at the Nashville Beauty Girl. Pretty sure there's a
v in there and she got me on zero years ago.
I got my sister on it. Mary's already was on zero.
(06:41):
Like we all have this obsession with Zeo. I should
try it, Like I love specifically daily power Defense. That's
like the hero product. But so like if you would
only be able to afford one, because there was the
time my life I couldn't afford zero, no way, But
like if you have a hero product, like that's the
number one thing. But I have like face wash, gentle cleanser,
(07:01):
like some complexion pads. I do the daily power defense
and some firming serum because I'm trying to like firm
now that you starting early because you're only thirty one.
Had you just turned thirty two? Yeah, you should have
amand to talk about three plus two? I know I'm
about to go do the math. Yeah, so hey, I
(07:23):
know you just turned thirty two recently, you look thirty one.
Thank you. It's the framing serum. Yeah, I can tell
so that year like auto there. So that's what I'm
a fan of. But I cream like a lot of times.
I just I love birds Bees from Target. It's like
a very gentle one. My under eyes are very sensitive.
But what brand of the eyepatches to those are? Just?
(07:45):
I use every I have all kinds of brands. I
just order on Amazon or I get from Target or
Peter Thomas Roth which is a more expensive one that
one I mostly get as like a gift. My mother
in law is always nice and gifts those meaks. Those
are like a special treat or if I'm treating myself.
But Amazon, I started ordering these really thick ones that
are gold from Amazon and they are way too Yeah,
(08:08):
they just look everything just feels like Honestly, I don't
know at the end of the day if they're really
doing anything, but if it's placebo effect, I'll take it somehow.
I put it on the morning and I said, let
it sit on there for twenty minutes and then I
take it off and like refreshed. So big fan of that.
But then I cream at night. There's a zero one
I can't use because it causes little bumps under my eyes. Again,
(08:28):
it's a very sensitive skin, but a bird's bees like nightly.
I cream is just what I put on. Um. I
do shave my face. That's something we talked about recently
on the Bobby Bones Show, is face shaving, because it's
all over TikTok. It's very popular now and I'm like,
I've been shaving my face for about eight years now,
and I should have made a video on TikTok because
(08:50):
I would have lots of views, but I just haven't
done that eight years ago, before TikTok was even a thing. Yeah, yeah,
I was shaving way before. And the big concern there
for people is they get nervous that if they shave,
the hair is going to grow back thicker, and it
does not. And the story that we talked about on
the show is that dermatologists are saying because it's going
viral on TikTok, like, yeah, you don't have to worry
(09:11):
about that, Like the coarsity of your hair, I guess
it is genetically predisposed, so like it's all predetermined. You're
not just gonna shave and then suddenly have thicker hair.
If you happen to have thicker hair on your face,
it's just that's your genetics. Like, and to be honest,
like I have a few thicker hairs that come out
of my chin, but they haven't gotten worse because I shave,
and those I try to pluck because I just want
(09:31):
to get those at the root and be done and
be gone with it. Which if you haven't hit that
stage in your life, you will get there. And I've
already gotten there. Oh yeah, I had them at thirties,
like I had them Summit twenty. But some people just
comes at different phases, or maybe some people just wow,
they are blessed and they don't have to deal with
random facial hairs. But I'm a big fan of shaving,
(09:52):
so I would say incorporating that into your routine no
matter what you do. The tinkle razor is a favorite
of mine, or I just get a bit razor like
plane nut. You cannot have that like gallo gell stuff, No,
that will break me out. It has to be no gel,
no nothing, just plastic and blade the blue bick. I
think b I c disposables. That's what my estheticition told
me when I used to do this myself. Then I
(10:15):
cut my face and I vowed to never do it again.
So I just have a professional to it. But she
told me to get a men's disposable razor because men's
are I don't know, a different metal. I don't know
if maybe, but I just didn't have even if it's
the men's I can't. But like gallow or moisture whatever
that strip is called, I can't have a moisture strip
because it breaks me out, which I've cut my neck
(10:36):
before because I tried to shave down like what in
the movie's men do and they put like a little
piece of toilet paper. It was like a war. It
was like a dash my eye because underneath your skin
that undeath your eye. Your skin is so delicate, and
I think I was like, I've been doing this for
years and I'm just like going, and then I completely
took out a chunk of my skin. That being said,
(10:56):
if you do choose to start to start shaving, like
you half to be careful. Don't be in a rush,
go slow, do your thing. But it is very exfoliating
and good for your skin and helps with fine lines
and so give you like a little bit of a glow.
So that's what I recommend. We got another email from
Jonathan speaking of the Bobby bon Chokus. I'm pretty sure
(11:18):
I talked about face shaving in the pile, but he said,
hey on you in your pile today. I'm assuming he
means from an episode last week you mentioned a password app.
I forget the name of it, so I assuming he
wants that. And I use last pass to store all
of my passwords. I hope that's not existed outing me
in any sort of way where someone can then hack
my last Pass. But it's been a pretty great app
(11:41):
to store, and like as a family, we can go
in and everyone has access to it. If Netflix changes
or Disney Plus or any of our banking suddenly on
like the level of second guessing, like telling people what
I use. But I mean, Last Past is out there.
It's a product. It's not like someone could get into
my Last Pass, right. I didn't know these things existed.
I just have everything in a no in my phone,
which I think is not probably very safe. This app
(12:03):
is like a vault. It says it's a um, yeah,
we pay for it. Oh that's premium. I don't know.
There's probably different levels. There might be a free one,
a premium level. I don't know, but I am thankful
for that app. And Jonathan, that is the name of
it if you want to download it and check it out. Okay,
(12:32):
So Shifting Gears again. Cat and I before recording, we
were talking about something that she said comes up a lot,
and it's about feeling lazy and why don't you go
ahead and read the quote that you saw and then
let's discuss it based on what you hear a lot
from people. Okay, so this quote comes from at real
depression Project, and it says the best thing a therapists
(12:52):
ever told me is, you're not lazy. You only have
a certain amount of energy and right now you're using
all of it just to survive. And I like that
because I have people in my office all the time
that are like, I'm just so lazy. I can't find
the motivation, like I'm worthless, and they say all this stuff,
and then I have them write down everything they're doing
and I'm just sitting there thinking, how could you ever
(13:14):
think you're lazy when you do all of this? You
just don't have an unlimited amount of energy. I think
we get in our heads with that all the time,
like do you ever call it yourself lazy when you
can't We're resting and you're like, I'm so lazy I
can't get up and cook dinner. It's like, didn't you
just work all day and you worked out and you
picked up your kids and you washed your face and
you did You're seeing you're not lazy. Yeah, I think
sometimes I get in that. It's like I do some
(13:36):
comparison and I think I know and see what everybody
else is doing, and then I can, even though I
don't know the reality, and then I put that pressure
on myself of like why am I not able to
get that done and that done and that done? But
they're probably also not doing all the things that you're doing. Yeah,
And I also think if you're seeing it on Instagram,
that's not reality. Yeah. I mean I might look more
(13:57):
productive than I am on Instagram, but uh oh yeah,
I feel like you look extremely productive. I don't know
that I have to look productive. I feel like you
look pretty normal. But yeah, I mean I could see
how that's a thing where we I'm thankful that a
lot of people, though, are talking about how we don't
have to be go, go go. But for a chunk
of years, that was the messaging, especially to like women,
(14:19):
like wake up at this time, you got to get
it all done. This is what you have to do. Yes,
And thankfully we're coming out of that and we have
that freedom because of those that are wise and speaking
up about it. Do not feel guilty about not doing
all of those things? And maybe you just watching Real
Housewives if we want to. It's sort of like we've
talked about before on the fifth thing, is it a
(14:41):
guilty pleasure? Is it just a pleasure? Like why should
we feel feel bad about it. You know what this
is bringing up is do you know who Ian Morgan
Kron is? Okay, so you should follow him? I think
you might like him. Well, actually, you're not a big
in your grand person, aren't you. I mean I keep
trying to you know. Okay, so is your number? By
the way, my integram number seven forget? Oh you're a
(15:03):
good time that's what. Yeah, I forgot your party girl,
always trying to make it all three and four tested
is both okay, So he came on, you need therapy.
A year and a half ago, we were having a
conversation about um, I think crisis and how our numbers
shift during crisis, and we started talking about productivity, and
(15:24):
I forget exactly how he said it, but he said
something along the lines of, like, I think people are
confused about what productivity really is and the point of
being productive because in our heads, I hear that we
think that like we need to like be productive so
we can then get more stuff done and be more productive,
when the point of being productive is that then you
have less time that you have to work. Like being
productive is like I got up and I did my work,
(15:46):
so then I'm done, not so that I can do
more work. And I think that ties into this like
I'm so lazy when it's like, no, you did everything
you need to do. Why do you need extra credit?
I don't know. In school, I always want an extra credit.
Of course I would have like a hundred and ten
in a class, and I'm like, I need a hundred
and fifty. In Burnet Brown's book Daring Greatly, she talks
about how, you know, basically exhaustion is not a status symbol,
(16:08):
but again there was that chunk of years where that
was elevated and celebrated. Yes, all right, so that is
reminding me if I was talking to shawn A. Niquest
about this um who's an author and she wrote the
book President over Perfect, and in that book, I was
really listening to it. And in that book she talks
in the very beginning about how she was burnt out
and and tired of being strung out by exhaustion. And
(16:30):
it like hit me like a ton of bricks, because
I'm like, oh my god, I personally get like I
don't know if I would use the word frustrated or
like annoyed by people who brag about being busy, like
when people are like, oh, look at all, I did
so much, and I did this and I was working
for fourteen hours and then I and as like like
a status symbol. And I feel like when I talk
(16:50):
about being busy, I'm like, all, I wanted to do nothing,
and I'm like, why are we using having one million
things to do as a way to elve are like,
I don't know if it's worthiness or are like sense
of value, but to me, it's like I don't want
to be tired. No, I don't want to be tired. No,
I'm just thankful, like I said, like a few minutes ago,
(17:12):
that we're not chasing that anymore and that there's people
speaking out about that. And we love to talk about
mel Robbins here on the podcast, like I'm obsessed her.
I'd love to have her. I'm gonna go ahead and
manifest that as her reading a guest one day. That's
a dream that you're dreaming. That's a dream that I'm dreaming.
It's Mella Robbins coming on the podcast. But speaking of
Shawn any Quest, I'm interviewing her soon about her latest book,
which is I guess I haven't learned that. That's what
(17:34):
I interviewed her for we quoted her other book. I
know the reference because I haven't read the new one yet. Okay, well,
I started reading it and it is so good and
I'm going to get it done before my interview with her.
But my sister will never hear this. But what I'm
doing is my sister is so obsessed with Shanna loves
her that I'm setting up a zoom with my sister
(17:54):
and she thinks we're gonna be doing a zoom about I.
Maybe I've shared this before, I don't know, but it's
happening soon. I'm setting up a zoom with my sister
that she thinks she's coming on to talk about her
h G TV show and she's gonna pop on the
zoom and I'm going to already be on with Shawna.
And then my sister's will be like what. And then
I had Shawna's team send my sister a copy of
I guess I haven't learned that yet, But my sister
just thinks that I hooked her up with a gift,
(18:16):
Like but really, my sister already reading it, she already
I think she's already done with it because she's that obsessed.
But she's she's going to know about the book and
she's gonna be able to talk to her about it.
And then my sister has this whole story from back
when my mom died that someone dropped off like bread
and wine on our porch and my sister thought it
was basically from Shawna. I can't remember the dude really, yeah,
(18:36):
but it wasn't. Oh, we don't know really who. It was,
just like this mysterious thing. I'm say it's from Shawna. Yes,
And so my sister will be able to talk to
her about that because Shanna has a book called Bread
and Wine and my sister loved it. And then there
was like this note you know what I will say.
I wish I could be on a fly. I'll listen
to it. I wish I could be there for it,
because she was a freaking delight to talk to. Yeah,
(18:58):
I mean I could have. I don't think she wanted to,
but I wanted to sit there for like five hours
and talk to her. And she said something. I'm not
going to get spoiled all of it, but she did
say something about like um creating boundaries that I really liked,
and she just said, you know what it really is
harder for people who this spoke to my heart because
I'm a single person. She was like, single people have
(19:19):
a hard time being allowed to set boundaries than people
who are married with children. And I was like, m,
thank you for saying that, because if I said, I
don't know if it means as much because I am that,
but I'm sure if somebody else needs to hear that
right now. So like we should all have the same
abilities to say no and no mean no and yes
mean yes yeah, and being okay with that. What episode
number is that? I don't know because Houston has a
(19:42):
number of my episodes yet, but Cats have come out yet.
It's coming out in two weeks, so I don't want
to give anything away, Okay, So people can look forward
to that on You Need Therapy podcast in a couple
of weeks, but maybe by then you'll have your episodes
numbered and on next Tuesday, wee can I can shout
out the number or in a few weeks we'll be
able to give the actual number. So Houston heads Up
(20:02):
might just go ahead and start numbering Cat's episodes and
being a Cat. She was also on outweigh with Me
this last Saturday, so if y'all have any history with
disordered eating or eating disorders, or you're curious about it,
we had a conversation over there. You can just search
up Outweigh wherever you listen to podcasts and something that
also loaded. So Outweigh comes out on Saturdays and then
(20:23):
on Sundays. I've been starting to do the listener Q
and a's and those have gone really when you started.
Hot Brandon was the first one. And then this last Sunday,
so like two days ago, was a listener named Jacqueline
or Jackie as I like to call her for short.
And she was so good, Her questions were awesome. She
even with the questions she had for me, she offered
her insight and wisdom. And she is in grad school
(20:46):
about to graduate. And I think even like cafeeling type
thing is, we're on zoom, so we were looking at
each other and it was about an hour long conversation
and it was so great and I was so thankful
for everything she had to say. And I feel like
listeners were gonna get so much from her like a
fellow listener. And that's again what this is all about,
(21:07):
is creating that community and like connection. That's because the
career is about connection. So thank you to the listeners
that have sent an emails saying you want to host.
It's a listener lead Q and A with me. Also,
I would just say to them like props, because that's
kind of scary. Yeah she was. She admitted that She's like,
I'm so nervous, rights so scary. She did great, she
(21:28):
killed it. And then Brandon was the first one like,
I've gotten feedback. So, Brandon and Jackie, if you're listening,
I've gotten emails of people saying they're enjoying it and
you all did great. So if you want to email
Four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com, whether
you've got a question for Cat and I for the
fifth thing, put that in the subject line or listener
Q and A just put that in the subject line,
and we would love to hear from you and Cat.
You can find her on Instagram at cat dot defata
(21:51):
and also at You Need Therapy podcast and do you
see I tagged you and I posted your little button
the other day, the button on the Yeah, it says
all bodies are good bodies and it is my button
on my Four Things top, which we still have stuff
up for Haiti right now, all proceeds supporting the Orphanage
(22:11):
where my kids grew up, which will always be a
place that's near and dear to my heart. So if
you want to go to the shot forward dot com
slash Amy, I think also the shot forward dot com
slash Haiti will also get you there to those specific
items that are all to the Orphanage, because there's other
items that might support other organizations in Haiti or different
(22:31):
there's some items that are supporting the Ukraine's are just
making sure you go to that specific page on the
shot Forward if you're looking to, you know, get a
little something and know that you're helping out a lot
of needs that have just popped up there regarding security, water, education,
and then some specific things that a few of the
kids there need. So shout out to my mom. Hats
(22:54):
mom is hilarious. She was like, I want to I
want to help get the wheelchair. And so then cats
on the phone with her just before recording and she's like, Okay,
I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get Okay, I'm fine,
it's fine. My friend has this different sweatshirt. You can
order that one. Cool. Mom's like, get me the cool
aunt and then just like, oh, I need to start
like the whole thing. So she's trying to get a wheelchair,
and then she was like texting it to all our friends,
family members. She's like, hey, go buy this. I'm trying
(23:16):
to get a wheelchair. So I love her spirit. It's awesome.
And again that's all proceeds going to a place that
I wish I could visit right now. I feel like
at one point in time, people were more connected to
the orphanage because like I was going there all the time,
and my kids were still there, and now they're they're home,
and we haven't been able to travel because Hadi is
(23:37):
not safe to go to as a visitor. Well even
if you just live there, it's just not a good
there's no point in me going and risking security, safety
or my life. I would have to go, and I
would have to have security, and then I'm putting them
at risks. So like what's the point other than I
would love to see my people down there, Like I've
been four years since you've been. Yeah, yeah, the kids
have been home for over four years and I haven't
(23:57):
been back since I picked them up because I was waiting.
I didn't want to go in the first year or
two because I don't want them to be confused. Why
are you going to hate you not taking us? But
then now I could take my daughter back like she
would love to see her birth mom, And I'm okay
with that, and I want them to have a relationship
and I hope we do get to do that one
day soon, but I just don't know when that day
will be. But in the meantime, what I can do
(24:17):
is try to send them love if I can. So
we launched this last week for my birthday. I just
wanted to find a way to support them because they
still get emails, I still know their needs, and I
saw that stuff popping up because everything there is so expensive,
and like even the teachers they're not getting paid enough
and thanking if there's now a school on the campus,
because there wasn't always one, but my friend Tiffany made
(24:38):
it happen because the kids can't even leave campus for
school anymore. But the teachers they're getting paid two hundred
dollars a month. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I would love
to either help with that, like I beaning, we not me,
but I would love to be able to spread the
word about that so that people maybe want to support
that and maybe they could get a bonus or take
(24:58):
some pressure off my friend Tiffany for fundraising fundraises for
the school each month, so just getting those paid for,
because all that's separate from rent and bills, Like the
orphanage is actually doing well when it comes to that
sort of thing. But these are just stuff that at
These are random concerns that have popped up in the
last month where it's like, oh, oh a new wall,
to rip down that wall and build a new wall
seventeen Okay, like that's just not stuff they have in
(25:21):
the bank. In fact, that it's so expensive, there's everything
is expensive. It's pretty wild. So all that to say,
we're going to wrap it up now, So thank you
CAT as always, and thank you everybody for listening. We
hope you have a great day and we'll see you
next time. By
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the fifth Thing with Amy and Cat.
Today's quote is more like an affirmation. My friend Jackie
sent me a whole list of March affirmations, and so
there's one for March feet all the way through March
thirty one. And she first shared this with me at
a little like a birthday dinner thing that I had
(00:26):
last Thursday. So that was March seventeenth, which was I
will bloom how I was meant to. And then on
the eighteenth, which was my actual birthday, I am free
to dream a new dream. Yeah, and then today I'll
just read that one March two is even here. I
am growing. So the original poster of this was Morgan
(00:49):
Harper Nichols. Looks like it's a verified account, so maybe
someone you'll want to check out and follow. Um. But
it was a reels that was posted in. Jackie clearly
took a screenshot and then she texted it to us,
and I was just so thankful for it, like a
little March affirmation. What's gonna be your birthday? Dream? A
new dream? What's your new dream? Um? I have a
(01:10):
few dreams. It resonated with me in a different way.
I don't know, that it's something that like I could
share at the moment, but like some dreams brewing. Yeah.
We also at my house for that little birthday gathering,
ended up writing some intentions down and then releasing them
into water one by one. I was going to burn them,
(01:31):
but then my cousin who was on actually last Thursday's
Four Things, she's known as my psychic cousin on the
Bobby Bones Show. But we face timed her and she
was like, no, no, no, this it was a full
moon and she said, you got to release it into water.
This full moon is about water, not burning. There's a
time for burning. But I was gonna say I burned
things all the time. Yeah, well it's not a bad thing.
She was like, you could burn, but like she said,
(01:53):
just push it out into the water. So we did,
and we each wrote stuff down and then we stood
in a line and each person locked up. We were
going to go to a radner and put them in
the lake, but then it got late, so we just
put them in my hot tub. That's gonna say, did
you put them in the pool? And hopefully they're not
clogging my drain. I need to go check. But speaking
of the episode that I did with my cousin last Thursday,
(02:16):
something that Houston shout out, our podcast producer and editor.
He went through and numbered all of my episodes. So
I had never numbered my episodes before, which the point
in me wanting to go back and do that is
sometimes I like to reference an old episode, like I'm
going to reference that episode from last Thursday. It's episode
(02:38):
number three forty and so to the thank you um
when you go to the podcast feed, if you're looking
for a particular number that I may be referenced, like, hey,
go listen to this episode or this guest was great.
You can go back and find the number. It's way
easier which number mine. Well, if you're out there and
(02:59):
it was a asks, you can get with him when
you know, when he's got some extra time and he
can try to number Yours are numbered, But I'm I'm
thankful for it. But literally last week was my first
round of episodes ever being numbered, Like Thursday might have
been the first official numbered episode that was out there,
even though he retro numbered. Got it follow me. So
(03:21):
my cousin, the episode we did was about the gift
of time but also numerology because of my birthday and
my numbers and she's all into that. So she said,
once you start paying attention to it, numbers will be everywhere. Well,
she woke up the next morning and downloaded the episode
and pulled it up and she was like, you gotta
be kidding. She's like, this is episode three forty and
I said yeah, and she was like, um, hello, don't
(03:44):
you know in the episode we talked about your attitude number,
which is three, your life path number, which is four,
and then zero is the great equalizer. Shut up. Yes,
so three when she was on the go back and
listen to that episode, see this is me using that.
Go back and listen to episode three forty, and she
talked about how three is the communicator, the creative child,
the cares out his soul, the secret of joy, socialization,
(04:06):
and connection. And then at my birthday thing and we
were sitting around and I was like, this is a
year where I want more connection, Like I want to connect.
Then my cousin went in to say that four is
the number of process, routine analysis, organization and practicality, solid foundations, accomplishment,
establishing healthy boundaries, and stability. And I'm like, literally in
(04:28):
the season of all of that, wait, that is specific
to you. That's just no, that's the life path that's
specific to anybody that's in a four at the moment.
Four yes. And then the part about the zero, she said,
in the zero in the podcast episode is the great
stabilizer equalizer and levels up whatever it touches. The zero
is literally the circle of life. So my attitude number
(04:52):
and life path number and then the Great Equalizer ended
up being the number of the episode. That's weird. And
we pre that, we pre taped the episode before she
even knew what number Houston was like. And also she
figured out my attitude number of my life number by
doing all this math with the days like March three,
eighteen nine, so you add up like three plus one
(05:14):
plus eight plus one plus nine plus eight plus one,
and then you it's the whole I need to call
an episode. But isn't that that's weird. That's weird. It's
pretty wild, that's what she even said. She said, so wild.
I'm literally blown away that the show episode number is
three forty. She said. The signs and numbers are always validating,
(05:35):
confirming and speaking to us if we choose to pay attention. Well,
I have a hard time believing some of that stuff too,
but like then this stuff happens and I'm like, wait,
what it's a it's a quincidence or is it like
a little bit real? Right? I feel you want So
that's just a little fun fact. But anyway, what dreams
might me dreaming? I don't know. But here we are.
(05:58):
March affirmations was the quote for today. But I'm going
to get into an email that we got from Hannah
and Iowa. We're gonna like bring it back down to
something totally different. We're shifting. Hey, Amy and Cat, I'm
wondering what your face wash routine is and what products
you use. Also wondering about eye products. Thanks Hannah from Iowa.
Now I've talked about this like multiple times on the show,
(06:19):
but sometimes we get new listeners. But I am a
huge fan of zero, which is like dr Obaji, like
a different line that he has. My girl who on Instagram, Carrie,
she's at the Nashville Beauty Girl. Pretty sure there's a
v in there and she got me on zero years ago.
I got my sister on it. Mary's already was on zero.
(06:41):
Like we all have this obsession with Zeo. I should
try it, Like I love specifically daily power Defense. That's
like the hero product. But so like if you would
only be able to afford one, because there was the
time my life I couldn't afford zero, no way, But
like if you have a hero product, like that's the
number one thing. But I have like face wash, gentle cleanser,
(07:01):
like some complexion pads. I do the daily power defense
and some firming serum because I'm trying to like firm
now that you starting early because you're only thirty one.
Had you just turned thirty two? Yeah, you should have
amand to talk about three plus two? I know I'm
about to go do the math. Yeah, so hey, I
(07:23):
know you just turned thirty two recently, you look thirty one.
Thank you. It's the framing serum. Yeah, I can tell
so that year like auto there. So that's what I'm
a fan of. But I cream like a lot of times.
I just I love birds Bees from Target. It's like
a very gentle one. My under eyes are very sensitive.
But what brand of the eyepatches to those are? Just?
(07:45):
I use every I have all kinds of brands. I
just order on Amazon or I get from Target or
Peter Thomas Roth which is a more expensive one that
one I mostly get as like a gift. My mother
in law is always nice and gifts those meaks. Those
are like a special treat or if I'm treating myself.
But Amazon, I started ordering these really thick ones that
are gold from Amazon and they are way too Yeah,
(08:08):
they just look everything just feels like Honestly, I don't
know at the end of the day if they're really
doing anything, but if it's placebo effect, I'll take it somehow.
I put it on the morning and I said, let
it sit on there for twenty minutes and then I
take it off and like refreshed. So big fan of that.
But then I cream at night. There's a zero one
I can't use because it causes little bumps under my eyes. Again,
(08:28):
it's a very sensitive skin, but a bird's bees like nightly.
I cream is just what I put on. Um. I
do shave my face. That's something we talked about recently
on the Bobby Bones Show, is face shaving, because it's
all over TikTok. It's very popular now and I'm like,
I've been shaving my face for about eight years now,
and I should have made a video on TikTok because
(08:50):
I would have lots of views, but I just haven't
done that eight years ago, before TikTok was even a thing. Yeah, yeah,
I was shaving way before. And the big concern there
for people is they get nervous that if they shave,
the hair is going to grow back thicker, and it
does not. And the story that we talked about on
the show is that dermatologists are saying because it's going
viral on TikTok, like, yeah, you don't have to worry
(09:11):
about that, Like the coarsity of your hair, I guess
it is genetically predisposed, so like it's all predetermined. You're
not just gonna shave and then suddenly have thicker hair.
If you happen to have thicker hair on your face,
it's just that's your genetics. Like, and to be honest,
like I have a few thicker hairs that come out
of my chin, but they haven't gotten worse because I shave,
and those I try to pluck because I just want
(09:31):
to get those at the root and be done and
be gone with it. Which if you haven't hit that
stage in your life, you will get there. And I've
already gotten there. Oh yeah, I had them at thirties,
like I had them Summit twenty. But some people just
comes at different phases, or maybe some people just wow,
they are blessed and they don't have to deal with
random facial hairs. But I'm a big fan of shaving,
(09:52):
so I would say incorporating that into your routine no
matter what you do. The tinkle razor is a favorite
of mine, or I just get a bit razor like
plane nut. You cannot have that like gallo gell stuff, No,
that will break me out. It has to be no gel,
no nothing, just plastic and blade the blue bick. I
think b I c disposables. That's what my estheticition told
me when I used to do this myself. Then I
(10:15):
cut my face and I vowed to never do it again.
So I just have a professional to it. But she
told me to get a men's disposable razor because men's
are I don't know, a different metal. I don't know
if maybe, but I just didn't have even if it's
the men's I can't. But like gallow or moisture whatever
that strip is called, I can't have a moisture strip
because it breaks me out, which I've cut my neck
(10:36):
before because I tried to shave down like what in
the movie's men do and they put like a little
piece of toilet paper. It was like a war. It
was like a dash my eye because underneath your skin
that undeath your eye. Your skin is so delicate, and
I think I was like, I've been doing this for
years and I'm just like going, and then I completely
took out a chunk of my skin. That being said,
(10:56):
if you do choose to start to start shaving, like
you half to be careful. Don't be in a rush,
go slow, do your thing. But it is very exfoliating
and good for your skin and helps with fine lines
and so give you like a little bit of a glow.
So that's what I recommend. We got another email from
Jonathan speaking of the Bobby bon Chokus. I'm pretty sure
(11:18):
I talked about face shaving in the pile, but he said,
hey on you in your pile today. I'm assuming he
means from an episode last week you mentioned a password app.
I forget the name of it, so I assuming he
wants that. And I use last pass to store all
of my passwords. I hope that's not existed outing me
in any sort of way where someone can then hack
my last Pass. But it's been a pretty great app
(11:41):
to store, and like as a family, we can go
in and everyone has access to it. If Netflix changes
or Disney Plus or any of our banking suddenly on
like the level of second guessing, like telling people what
I use. But I mean, Last Past is out there.
It's a product. It's not like someone could get into
my Last Pass, right. I didn't know these things existed.
I just have everything in a no in my phone,
which I think is not probably very safe. This app
(12:03):
is like a vault. It says it's a um, yeah,
we pay for it. Oh that's premium. I don't know.
There's probably different levels. There might be a free one,
a premium level. I don't know, but I am thankful
for that app. And Jonathan, that is the name of
it if you want to download it and check it out. Okay,
(12:32):
So Shifting Gears again. Cat and I before recording, we
were talking about something that she said comes up a lot,
and it's about feeling lazy and why don't you go
ahead and read the quote that you saw and then
let's discuss it based on what you hear a lot
from people. Okay, so this quote comes from at real
depression Project, and it says the best thing a therapists
(12:52):
ever told me is, you're not lazy. You only have
a certain amount of energy and right now you're using
all of it just to survive. And I like that
because I have people in my office all the time
that are like, I'm just so lazy. I can't find
the motivation, like I'm worthless, and they say all this stuff,
and then I have them write down everything they're doing
and I'm just sitting there thinking, how could you ever
(13:14):
think you're lazy when you do all of this? You
just don't have an unlimited amount of energy. I think
we get in our heads with that all the time,
like do you ever call it yourself lazy when you
can't We're resting and you're like, I'm so lazy I
can't get up and cook dinner. It's like, didn't you
just work all day and you worked out and you
picked up your kids and you washed your face and
you did You're seeing you're not lazy. Yeah, I think
sometimes I get in that. It's like I do some
(13:36):
comparison and I think I know and see what everybody
else is doing, and then I can, even though I
don't know the reality, and then I put that pressure
on myself of like why am I not able to
get that done and that done and that done? But
they're probably also not doing all the things that you're doing. Yeah,
And I also think if you're seeing it on Instagram,
that's not reality. Yeah. I mean I might look more
(13:57):
productive than I am on Instagram, but uh oh yeah,
I feel like you look extremely productive. I don't know
that I have to look productive. I feel like you
look pretty normal. But yeah, I mean I could see
how that's a thing where we I'm thankful that a
lot of people, though, are talking about how we don't
have to be go, go go. But for a chunk
of years, that was the messaging, especially to like women,
(14:19):
like wake up at this time, you got to get
it all done. This is what you have to do. Yes,
And thankfully we're coming out of that and we have
that freedom because of those that are wise and speaking
up about it. Do not feel guilty about not doing
all of those things? And maybe you just watching Real
Housewives if we want to. It's sort of like we've
talked about before on the fifth thing, is it a
(14:41):
guilty pleasure? Is it just a pleasure? Like why should
we feel feel bad about it. You know what this
is bringing up is do you know who Ian Morgan
Kron is? Okay, so you should follow him? I think
you might like him. Well, actually, you're not a big
in your grand person, aren't you. I mean I keep
trying to you know. Okay, so is your number? By
the way, my integram number seven forget? Oh you're a
(15:03):
good time that's what. Yeah, I forgot your party girl,
always trying to make it all three and four tested
is both okay, So he came on, you need therapy.
A year and a half ago, we were having a
conversation about um, I think crisis and how our numbers
shift during crisis, and we started talking about productivity, and
(15:24):
I forget exactly how he said it, but he said
something along the lines of, like, I think people are
confused about what productivity really is and the point of
being productive because in our heads, I hear that we
think that like we need to like be productive so
we can then get more stuff done and be more productive,
when the point of being productive is that then you
have less time that you have to work. Like being
productive is like I got up and I did my work,
(15:46):
so then I'm done, not so that I can do
more work. And I think that ties into this like
I'm so lazy when it's like, no, you did everything
you need to do. Why do you need extra credit?
I don't know. In school, I always want an extra credit.
Of course I would have like a hundred and ten
in a class, and I'm like, I need a hundred
and fifty. In Burnet Brown's book Daring Greatly, she talks
about how, you know, basically exhaustion is not a status symbol,
(16:08):
but again there was that chunk of years where that
was elevated and celebrated. Yes, all right, so that is
reminding me if I was talking to shawn A. Niquest
about this um who's an author and she wrote the
book President over Perfect, and in that book, I was
really listening to it. And in that book she talks
in the very beginning about how she was burnt out
and and tired of being strung out by exhaustion. And
(16:30):
it like hit me like a ton of bricks, because
I'm like, oh my god, I personally get like I
don't know if I would use the word frustrated or
like annoyed by people who brag about being busy, like
when people are like, oh, look at all, I did
so much, and I did this and I was working
for fourteen hours and then I and as like like
a status symbol. And I feel like when I talk
(16:50):
about being busy, I'm like, all, I wanted to do nothing,
and I'm like, why are we using having one million
things to do as a way to elve are like,
I don't know if it's worthiness or are like sense
of value, but to me, it's like I don't want
to be tired. No, I don't want to be tired. No,
I'm just thankful, like I said, like a few minutes ago,
(17:12):
that we're not chasing that anymore and that there's people
speaking out about that. And we love to talk about
mel Robbins here on the podcast, like I'm obsessed her.
I'd love to have her. I'm gonna go ahead and
manifest that as her reading a guest one day. That's
a dream that you're dreaming. That's a dream that I'm dreaming.
It's Mella Robbins coming on the podcast. But speaking of
Shawn any Quest, I'm interviewing her soon about her latest book,
which is I guess I haven't learned that. That's what
(17:34):
I interviewed her for we quoted her other book. I
know the reference because I haven't read the new one yet. Okay, well,
I started reading it and it is so good and
I'm going to get it done before my interview with her.
But my sister will never hear this. But what I'm
doing is my sister is so obsessed with Shanna loves
her that I'm setting up a zoom with my sister
(17:54):
and she thinks we're gonna be doing a zoom about I.
Maybe I've shared this before, I don't know, but it's
happening soon. I'm setting up a zoom with my sister
that she thinks she's coming on to talk about her
h G TV show and she's gonna pop on the
zoom and I'm going to already be on with Shawna.
And then my sister's will be like what. And then
I had Shawna's team send my sister a copy of
I guess I haven't learned that yet, But my sister
just thinks that I hooked her up with a gift,
(18:16):
Like but really, my sister already reading it, she already
I think she's already done with it because she's that obsessed.
But she's she's going to know about the book and
she's gonna be able to talk to her about it.
And then my sister has this whole story from back
when my mom died that someone dropped off like bread
and wine on our porch and my sister thought it
was basically from Shawna. I can't remember the dude really, yeah,
(18:36):
but it wasn't. Oh, we don't know really who. It was,
just like this mysterious thing. I'm say it's from Shawna. Yes,
And so my sister will be able to talk to
her about that because Shanna has a book called Bread
and Wine and my sister loved it. And then there
was like this note you know what I will say.
I wish I could be on a fly. I'll listen
to it. I wish I could be there for it,
because she was a freaking delight to talk to. Yeah,
(18:58):
I mean I could have. I don't think she wanted to,
but I wanted to sit there for like five hours
and talk to her. And she said something. I'm not
going to get spoiled all of it, but she did
say something about like um creating boundaries that I really liked,
and she just said, you know what it really is
harder for people who this spoke to my heart because
I'm a single person. She was like, single people have
(19:19):
a hard time being allowed to set boundaries than people
who are married with children. And I was like, m,
thank you for saying that, because if I said, I
don't know if it means as much because I am that,
but I'm sure if somebody else needs to hear that
right now. So like we should all have the same
abilities to say no and no mean no and yes
mean yes yeah, and being okay with that. What episode
number is that? I don't know because Houston has a
(19:42):
number of my episodes yet, but Cats have come out yet.
It's coming out in two weeks, so I don't want
to give anything away, Okay, So people can look forward
to that on You Need Therapy podcast in a couple
of weeks, but maybe by then you'll have your episodes
numbered and on next Tuesday, wee can I can shout
out the number or in a few weeks we'll be
able to give the actual number. So Houston heads Up
(20:02):
might just go ahead and start numbering Cat's episodes and
being a Cat. She was also on outweigh with Me
this last Saturday, so if y'all have any history with
disordered eating or eating disorders, or you're curious about it,
we had a conversation over there. You can just search
up Outweigh wherever you listen to podcasts and something that
also loaded. So Outweigh comes out on Saturdays and then
(20:23):
on Sundays. I've been starting to do the listener Q
and a's and those have gone really when you started.
Hot Brandon was the first one. And then this last Sunday,
so like two days ago, was a listener named Jacqueline
or Jackie as I like to call her for short.
And she was so good, Her questions were awesome. She
even with the questions she had for me, she offered
her insight and wisdom. And she is in grad school
(20:46):
about to graduate. And I think even like cafeeling type
thing is, we're on zoom, so we were looking at
each other and it was about an hour long conversation
and it was so great and I was so thankful
for everything she had to say. And I feel like
listeners were gonna get so much from her like a
fellow listener. And that's again what this is all about,
(21:07):
is creating that community and like connection. That's because the
career is about connection. So thank you to the listeners
that have sent an emails saying you want to host.
It's a listener lead Q and A with me. Also,
I would just say to them like props, because that's
kind of scary. Yeah she was. She admitted that She's like,
I'm so nervous, rights so scary. She did great, she
(21:28):
killed it. And then Brandon was the first one like,
I've gotten feedback. So, Brandon and Jackie, if you're listening,
I've gotten emails of people saying they're enjoying it and
you all did great. So if you want to email
Four Things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com, whether
you've got a question for Cat and I for the
fifth thing, put that in the subject line or listener
Q and A just put that in the subject line,
and we would love to hear from you and Cat.
You can find her on Instagram at cat dot defata
(21:51):
and also at You Need Therapy podcast and do you
see I tagged you and I posted your little button
the other day, the button on the Yeah, it says
all bodies are good bodies and it is my button
on my Four Things top, which we still have stuff
up for Haiti right now, all proceeds supporting the Orphanage
(22:11):
where my kids grew up, which will always be a
place that's near and dear to my heart. So if
you want to go to the shot forward dot com
slash Amy, I think also the shot forward dot com
slash Haiti will also get you there to those specific
items that are all to the Orphanage, because there's other
items that might support other organizations in Haiti or different
(22:31):
there's some items that are supporting the Ukraine's are just
making sure you go to that specific page on the
shot Forward if you're looking to, you know, get a
little something and know that you're helping out a lot
of needs that have just popped up there regarding security, water, education,
and then some specific things that a few of the
kids there need. So shout out to my mom. Hats
(22:54):
mom is hilarious. She was like, I want to I
want to help get the wheelchair. And so then cats
on the phone with her just before recording and she's like, Okay,
I'm gonna get that. I'm gonna get Okay, I'm fine,
it's fine. My friend has this different sweatshirt. You can
order that one. Cool. Mom's like, get me the cool
aunt and then just like, oh, I need to start
like the whole thing. So she's trying to get a wheelchair,
and then she was like texting it to all our friends,
family members. She's like, hey, go buy this. I'm trying
(23:16):
to get a wheelchair. So I love her spirit. It's awesome.
And again that's all proceeds going to a place that
I wish I could visit right now. I feel like
at one point in time, people were more connected to
the orphanage because like I was going there all the time,
and my kids were still there, and now they're they're home,
and we haven't been able to travel because Hadi is
(23:37):
not safe to go to as a visitor. Well even
if you just live there, it's just not a good
there's no point in me going and risking security, safety
or my life. I would have to go, and I
would have to have security, and then I'm putting them
at risks. So like what's the point other than I
would love to see my people down there, Like I've
been four years since you've been. Yeah, yeah, the kids
have been home for over four years and I haven't
(23:57):
been back since I picked them up because I was waiting.
I didn't want to go in the first year or
two because I don't want them to be confused. Why
are you going to hate you not taking us? But
then now I could take my daughter back like she
would love to see her birth mom, And I'm okay
with that, and I want them to have a relationship
and I hope we do get to do that one
day soon, but I just don't know when that day
will be. But in the meantime, what I can do
(24:17):
is try to send them love if I can. So
we launched this last week for my birthday. I just
wanted to find a way to support them because they
still get emails, I still know their needs, and I
saw that stuff popping up because everything there is so expensive,
and like even the teachers they're not getting paid enough
and thanking if there's now a school on the campus,
because there wasn't always one, but my friend Tiffany made
(24:38):
it happen because the kids can't even leave campus for
school anymore. But the teachers they're getting paid two hundred
dollars a month. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I would love
to either help with that, like I beaning, we not me,
but I would love to be able to spread the
word about that so that people maybe want to support
that and maybe they could get a bonus or take
(24:58):
some pressure off my friend Tiffany for fundraising fundraises for
the school each month, so just getting those paid for,
because all that's separate from rent and bills, Like the
orphanage is actually doing well when it comes to that
sort of thing. But these are just stuff that at
These are random concerns that have popped up in the
last month where it's like, oh, oh a new wall,
to rip down that wall and build a new wall
seventeen Okay, like that's just not stuff they have in
(25:21):
the bank. In fact, that it's so expensive, there's everything
is expensive. It's pretty wild. So all that to say,
we're going to wrap it up now, So thank you
CAT as always, and thank you everybody for listening. We
hope you have a great day and we'll see you
next time. By
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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