November 5, 2020 • 45 mins
Amy does the intro, but today is a podcast takeover hosted by Amy's sister, Cristi, and her husband, Ben. FIRST THING: Cristi and Ben tell (possibly) embarrassing stories about Amy, and how each of them met their own ‘Ben’. They also reminisce about Amy & Cristi's mom, Judy, and the influence she had on their futures through church & prayer. SECOND THING: Cristi and Ben talk about a hard time in their relationship, how we all go through ups & downs together, comparing yourself to others, and they share a story about author Shauna Niequist. THIRD THING: Enneagrams, risk taking, and their move to Colorado and the opening up a coffee shop {@roothouseco}. Was it all meant to be? FOURTH THING: The Spanish phrase, Vamos Afuera, is Cristi and Ben's life motto, so they share why that stuck with them. They also talk about the TV show that they are filming, and how that came to be!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Okay, little food for you. So life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth kicking with
(00:30):
four Happy Thursday. Everybody amy here for the intro, but
when it comes to the four Things today, I gotta
treat for you. I have a podcast takeover and my
sister Christie and her husband Ben will be bringing you
the Four Things. And I haven't listened to the episode
(00:50):
yet full disclosure, but I do know a little bit
of what they get into, and I know in the
first thing, I think they're telling some backstories about me
from in the day. I mean obviously known my sister
in my whole life. She's four years older than me,
but her husband I have known since I was I
don't know, eight or nine years old, so he's been
in my life a long time. And I'm sure they
(01:13):
have some stories about me that have never really been
shared before. They don't make it onto the Bobby Bones Show.
Probably stuff that I prefer people didn't know, but who knows.
We'll have to see. I'm gonna be listening to this
episode along with you guys when it comes out. I
know my sister is sharing one of her favorite books
with you. She is wise, my sister is, but so
(01:35):
is the author that my sister is going to be sharing.
But if you've heard my sister on the podcast before,
you know that she has good stories to tell and
she's always reading different books and she's got little nuggets
that are always good things to keep in your back pockets.
So that'll be the second thing. And then the third thing,
they're going to talk about acting on your dreams, which
they have done that a lot, and their latest dream
(01:58):
is their coffee shop that they opened and Colorado, so
shout out a root House Coffee. I feel like this episode,
even though we have commercials in the episode, I'll just
go ahead and say I feel like because my sister
and her has been stepped in to help me out
this week. This episode is unofficially brought to you by
root House Coffee and Pagosa Springs, Colorado, And if you're
(02:19):
ever driving through there or you live near there, definitely
go stop by their shop. And then the fourth thing
they get into is them talking about doing the unexpected,
I mean, and that goes for everybody, like sometimes in
life you just do something you never thought you would do.
Because my sister and her husband are filming a TV show,
and I know that that's definitely something my sister never
(02:40):
thought in a million years that she would do, even
if they were offered it. I think she would normally
picture herself saying no to it. It was like a
two year thing that they never ever thought would happen.
So she kept saying yes to certain things. And then
fast forward here we are now and they are taping
for a TV show that's I don't think they're allowed
to say that that work yet, but I mean it's
pretty legit, and I still can't believe it at times.
(03:03):
And maybe you've got something going in your life where
you're being invited to do something that is outside the
box or outside of your comfort zone, but maybe you
should just go ahead and do it, do the unexpected,
and see where it takes you. That's what they're going
to get into. I'm so grateful. As I've mentioned in
previous episodes, or maybe this is your first one, I'm
(03:26):
taking a step back for a little bit, and I've
got some friends and family and other people that will
be filling in for four Things and my Fifth Thing
episode on Tuesdays. So coming up next Tuesday, Keaton Claus
is going to be doing a takeover and answering all
of your things, holiday decor and holiday family traditions. She's
gonna be decorating my house again this year for Christmas,
(03:49):
and she just has the best, most cutest ideas. So
definitely check out the episode that's coming up this next Tuesday,
and then I think we have something fun in store
for y'all next Thursday as well. So I'm just so
thankful for having a community of people that are rallying
to support me when my attention needs to be focused elsewhere.
(04:12):
So with that said, I'm gonna let you get into
the episode. Oh of course, no, speaking of Christmas, I know,
after I talked about Keaton, I wanted to tell y'all
speaking of Christmas, I hope you've already started your Christmas shopping,
especially if you're shopping with a Splat or Four Things
or over at the shop Forward anything Pimp and Joy,
because I just want to encourage you to go ahead
(04:32):
and get it checked off your lists, whether you want
to customize a Four Things tot for someone, or you
want to get a new Four Things gratitude journal or
a cute star necklace or a Pimp and Joy hat,
Like if you want to give a gift that gives back.
The Shot Forward is where it is at, and you
can find links to any of that radio amy dot com.
But also wherever you're shopping. You want to do it
(04:54):
now because I know that inventories and issue shippings and
issue coronavirus has just messed everything. This here for a
lot of things. You don't want it to mess up
your Christmas presents, So go ahead and shop now so
that way you get everything in the mail and you
can breathe e see. Okay, now legit, we're really going
to start the episode. Here we go. First, man, Hey guys,
(05:18):
it is Amy's sister Christie and my husband Been. Hello.
Not to be confused with my sister's husband Been. We've
both married. Bence is better band. You're the better thing. Okay,
Well here we are. We are taking over Amy's podcast. Yes,
it's our show today. That's what we can say is
the better bands take over Big Sister takeover day. Okay,
(05:40):
So Amy's not with us here today. In some ways
somehow she has put the podcast in our hands. So
it's about time. Is that what you say? Okay, Well,
here we go. So I just thought we'd kind of
start off a little bit and talk about knowing Amy
and maybe some Amy stories. And obviously I've known Amy
my entire life because I'm the older sister. She's been
(06:01):
around um since I was four years old in my life,
and I love her. So we've had just a series
events that led us both to kind of meet you
been and her husband been honestly still when we were kids.
So the story behind that is that when I was
about thirteen and Amy was nine, our dad set us
down and said he was leaving. And so he was,
(06:24):
you know, leaving our family to move on to other things,
as happens in a lot of young kids lives, and
it's really sad and devastating. And we had an old
friend of my mom call us and invite us to
come to her church. Obviously, we showed up. We went
and walked into the church and that's where we met.
I met you and youth group. So we were both thirteen,
(06:44):
which is like youth group age, you know, and Amy
was nine. So okay, we don't have to argue the
details of the age, but I'm pretty sure we were
both thirteen at the time, and so Amy was young,
not quite a youth group yet, but I'm sure you
have some like early memories of any NonStop always they're
(07:09):
always around, always talking. That was her nickname in elementary school.
Maybe even to this day, Moffatt was our maiden name.
She's always loved to talk. She's always loved gab, just
got the gift of gab, and she's always got a
thought to share. She was always that like annoying little sister.
It was always there, always in the background or always
(07:30):
in your way. She just wanted to be a part
of everything. Not much has changed though, we love her though.
She's awesome. Yeah, so what's one of your just one
early story. She even got like baptized at our house.
Yes we are church had like an event your family's house,
and some people got baptized at her own baptism. He
(07:54):
was one of them. She performed, you know, before her
own baptism. Um. She had a guitar layers back up
a Grant song. Yeah, I don't remember the title, but
it was about how the Lord has a will and
I haven't need to follow his will. It's that song.
Whatever that Amy Grant song is, I could sing it
for you. But together another lad Then we had a
(08:19):
date one of our first dates that actually the same day.
That was the same day, the same day chapter the
baptism church party, potluck style, old school Southern style that
we were doing ready for. Yeah, the dance, No, it wasn't.
Was what was like a debutante ball and you called
(08:42):
it Debbie Thompson ball. That's what I thought it was.
And and you gave me a corsage like a flower
to wear on my wrist and you called it a
Chris I know what this stuff was. I just know
I was supposed to get you something. You were young.
That Amy was there and all the pictures in the
background coming in, yeah, coming into the back of the car.
(09:04):
I think she's like in every photo of that event.
So yeah, that's awesome memory. And then we had we
had we've had other times we've done. Her and I
did some singing together. I mean they'd kind of let
anybody seeing a church and so you played a part
in that performance. Well, I was trying to help the situation. Maybe, Okay,
(09:27):
what happened, Well, y'all were singing up on stage. Lord
prepared me to be a sanctuary, sanctuary, and I thought
I would prepare the sanctuary with a little pepper mace
that I was fiddling with your mother's purse and it
accidentally went off in the church and everybody's coughing and crying,
and y'all are trying to finish this song, and I'm
just trying to get out of the aisle right as
(09:49):
fast as I can and prepared the sanctuary with the
pepper sprays. Yeah, people were coffee. Amy and I were
up there. This is like our big do people are coffee,
and we were honestly also choking a little bit up there,
but I think we're in the front row, so I
(10:11):
don't know. Yea, to this day, her and I like
to do a little duet of that every now and then,
you know, when we're together, we do stuff like that.
And then she got married got married, well, of course
she was there was Yeah, she was in our wedding,
as was her future husbandman, he was on my side.
(10:33):
But the big thing was it was Amy's birthday, birthday,
so she was there, so I you know, we Bill
had seen sixteen candles and I didn't want it to
be like a repeat of that. We didn't want it
to be like, oh no, everybody forgot the little sister's birthday,
So no, we we had a cake color coordinated with
our wedding cake had her name on it. Happy Birthday.
(10:56):
We sang a song, we did the whole thing about her.
Whatever I forgive you Amy, Amy and my been go
way back. I mean Amy and her been go way
back to my been likes to give her a hard
time on a lot of things. So then past that,
fast forward, we're married. Amy graduates college. She's going to
(11:19):
go out into the big world. Doesn't want to live
at home with moms, so she moves in with us.
But but it wasn't, Yeah, it wasn't. There was a shed,
a potting shed out back. She had her own place
and like maybe eight by six four. There was tiny
(11:42):
bed and a back of clothes in it, no restrooms.
She had to run across the yard driveway into our house.
And then she was working for us. She was our
first so called Root Design employee. We have a business,
Root Design, a design business, but she was like that.
We started and we kind of launched it right a
decades ago. Yeah, right when she moved in. We had
(12:04):
a baby. We thought this would be a good idea,
not really and great job a few times, but it
was great. She'd watch Ade was our oldest now who's seventeen.
She did. She would go out and measure properties. And
then she also worked for Gold's Gym, and she did
like the early morning, like five o'clock, four thirties. She
(12:26):
had to get there and I'd have to go wake
her up because she would always oversleep. And I'd go
in there and I am Amy, I bang on the
shed door and I'd go in there. I peeled back
the covers and she's got her shoes on. I'm like, oh,
you're already ready. She's like, no, I put them on
last nights because I knew I was going to be late,
And so she would sleep in her clothes, her Gold's
Gym uniform, shoes on and everything, so she could hop
(12:47):
up because she knew she's going to be late and
run out the door and run to work. She probably
some morning radio radio show. She sleeps in her clothes.
I'm sure. I'm sure she does. And I think back
to those times, and I think to just Mom, even
during that time, you know, when we were when we
(13:07):
were young kids and we were first coming to that church,
and Mom was, you know, going through a lot of
hard stuff as a single mom. And I would wake
up every morning and see her praying on the couch,
and I didn't think a ton about it, but later
we had conversations about it, and I learned she wasn't
necessarily sitting there praying that my dad would come home.
She was praying that she would be changed in all
(13:31):
of this, that she would grow to be who she
was created to be, that she would, you know, be
a good mom during everything, and just do her very
best to give us what we needed at that time.
And I would say she did an amazing job. She
honestly instilled in both Famie and I. But I mean,
I can only speak for myself with my own marriage,
(13:52):
but just just this idea that marriage isn't easy, that
marriage is hard at times, and that it's worth fighting
for and it can be worth just enduring the hard
times to get to the other side and see what's there.
So and that's what she did, and she got up,
she got out even in the hardest of time. She
kept pushing forward, and she got you all to a
(14:12):
church with a new community. And little does she know
that that church would also be the same place that
both her daughters would meet their future husband's. Her future
sent them halls. I think she still likes the other
been better than me. But that's another podcast we can
we can do a vote on she agreed to like you,
but she was awesome and that was the deal. She
(14:33):
was tested and tried, but she's persevered and she kept going,
praying on her knees, going to a church, finding a community.
And boy did that pave the way for um the
next twenty plus years now that we're in and I
think it could be an inspiration to us all Naively.
Probably when we first got married, I thought, you know what,
(14:55):
we're probably not going to have marriage issues because this
is going to be so fun. Me and I'm marrying
my best friend. We're going to get to live together
and do everything together all the time. How do you
feel about that today? Now, a break every now and
then isn't so bad. But I mean, we we've hit
some rough patches and but I'd say we've worked through
(15:16):
them and they've grown us into a stronger relationship. And
so there's one particular rough patch I was thinking back on,
and it was after we'd been married about ten years
and we had four little kids. Dad was going my
dad was going through some tough stuff and he was
moving in with us, and we had a lot going
on in our house, like one of our kids was
(15:36):
a newborn, I'm breastfeeding. There was all kinds of things
going on. And then we had just hit this rock
bottom in our marriage and you came home with a gift.
Do you remember what it was? It was a book
from Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble. Oreo Cookie on
the cover of it. That's all I remember. I don't
think it was an Oreo cook. It was like a
(15:59):
chocolate cove, some type of dark chocolate decon Oreo to me,
homemade cookie. Probably not an Oreo. But I could see
how you thought it was an Oreo. But what made
you pick out that book? It was bitter sweet, and
everything we were going through was kind of bitter sweet.
It was really maybe it was bitter it was, but
(16:19):
it had potential there was and it had food on
the cover and food, and I'm always it's always a
win if it has something to do with food for you.
So that's what I just took a stab at food
and cookie. Oreo. Christie probably liked this book. It's got
an Oreo on it, ore on it, But really I
(16:41):
did love that book. I hadn't really been a reader
prior to that, so I think you really introduced me
to a genre of reading I really enjoyed. And so
it was Shauna Okay, the book was Bitter Sweet by
Shaun and meequist. And I never know if I'm saying
it right, if it's neiqquist or quists, I don't know,
whatever it is. I mean, she's my best friend, but
(17:02):
I don't know how to say her name. But really,
and why I say that, I mean jokingly, is that
I say she's my best friend because she really met
me in a place and kind of put a lot
of words to ways I was feeling and gave me
hope for the dark times, even in our marriage, even
in parenting, even in all the things that growth could
come from it. And so the idea of the book
(17:24):
was that life is all about the bitter and the sweet,
because if it was only sweet, then you wouldn't know
the sweet as well, and so the bitter is what
makes the sweet so much better. And so it really
the whole book just kind of gave me this perspective
that that are are hard things happened to us for
a reason. And the very last line of the book
(17:46):
was your story must be told, which kind of just
gave me permission, Like, this pain isn't wasted like what
you're going through. And everybody has all different hard things
they go through, but what you're going through is not waste. It.
You will grow from it, and you will share it
with someone else, and it will come alongside them in
their own pain. And your pain can be used. Your
(18:08):
pain will grow you all of that stuff. So I
think you walking into Barnes and Noble picking out a
book with an Oreo on it, I don't think you
knew that you were introducing me to an author who
I would just fall in love with, and UM ended
up so far I've read all of her books, so
she had had a prior book to that I ended
(18:29):
up buying. And then her next book was Bread and Wine,
and that was a book I was reading when my
mom in two thousand thirteen was going through her cancer treatments,
and so she I think we were at MD Anderson.
We would take turns going with her to her treatments,
and we were there she was hooked up to tubes
getting some chemo, and I was reading Bread and Wine
(18:51):
by Shawanna, and I walked out to go the restroom,
and when I came back in, my mom had picked
up the book and was just sort of thumbing through
it and came to the chapter that was entitled What
my Mother Taught Me. And I think she just found
that interesting because you know, she's a mother, and she
was reading through it, and when I came in, she
(19:11):
set it down. And so essentially the chapter is Shawna
talking about her mom and all the things she's done,
how her life has continued to just always have this
mantra of the best is yet to come, like you
never really arrive, keep trying those things, keep taking up
new hobbies, keep accomplishing. And so her mother had been
like a flutist and a flower arranger and a peacemaker
(19:35):
in the Middle East. I mean, you know, small hobby
things and bigger things, and I think my mom just
kind of compared her a little bit, and I went, oh, gosh,
I don't know if I how I compared to this woman.
You know, I don't know what I've done with my
life and what kind of impact am I leaving And
have I followed my dreams and have I listened to
my dreams? And what even are my dreams, and so
(19:56):
it kind of started this conversation that continued honest Lee
through her end of life, like of just a little
bit of a wrestling of gosh, I'm not sure I
did what I was put here fully to do, and
and just not even certain of what her dreams were.
But you know, I think she was being a little
hard on herself because if you knew Mom, you know
(20:17):
she was the most incredible, steady, loyal, patient, you know, loving, giving,
just steady is such a good word for her, and
usually such a good perspective on things, like didn't really
get riled up over issues, was just just I think
I rolled her up a few times maybe, and Amy
(20:43):
Ller up a little bit, but I mean overall still
does today. Overall she was still Yeah, your mom was awesome.
I mean who she worked for, she how she helped
run that church, and she worked for a family business
and you know, almost rain that business behind the scenes
for nine years and and was just incredible at what
(21:05):
she did and was perseverant and just like you said, steady, consistent,
always accountable, and that's that's what made her awesome. And
because she was always she was always there, she was
always available and she was always ready. Yeah, And so
I think in walking alongside her through her wrestling through
those different thoughts that were going on in her mind
(21:26):
at end of life. And I do think that's a
common thing that people wrestle with, like gosh, what could
I have done more of And why didn't I listen
to that dream? And why didn't I try that thing?
And why didn't I take that risk, which I find
myself honestly doing quite often, like as a pattern in
my life. I want to keep things safe. I want
to not step outside the box too much. I don't
want to ruffle anybody's feathers. I don't want to fail.
(21:48):
I don't want to do all the things. But I
think in walking alongside her through that, I kind of
learned maybe maybe risk is worth it. Sometimes maybe failing
isn't too bad. Maybe that's actually really an opportunity or
a stepping stone to what's on the on the other side.
So all that to say, I think the story of
(22:08):
her kind of passing away. She her last final days
were spent in our home. We had a lot of
family in and out of the house. We had the
opportunity you my husband been me Amy and her husband
been to be around my mom's bedside when she took
her last breath. And you know, the next day was
(22:28):
my birthday, and I didn't get that phone call that
I normally would get every morning where she sings me
the special song. And so there was a lot of
just gut wrenching happening. But there also was a surprise
that limbed surprise on the front porch. I think I
was going to get something food or breakfast or something,
and on the front porch was a basket had bread
in it, right, banana bread or something. No, it was
(22:51):
a loaf of a loaf of bread. Okay, he loaf
of bread like a loaf of bread like sour dough,
and two bottles of wine. Two bottles of wine, and
tanned written note from shawna niquist. Still to this day,
we have no clue how I got there. And I
mean it had my name on it, so it was
to me, it was to you, and think, well it was.
(23:15):
I totally figured out it totally was legit. There's a
long story to it, but it's legit. I did my research.
It was in fact her handwriting her paper and she
wrote me a note. But we don't know who put
it there, and so whoever did, they were doing the
work of my mom. That's the way I kind of
look at it. I'm always trying to put words, you know,
(23:36):
or pieces together and create stories out of things. But
that particular story I just felt like was a message
from Mom saying, remember that book, bread and Wine, Remember
that moment in the hospital, Remember all the wrestling I
had about my dreams. Christie, your best is yet to come.
And so I think that's something that a lot of
listeners could resonate with. Two um just on this idea
(23:59):
that dreams are worth having, that dreams are worth chasing,
that your dreams matter, pay attention to them, take action
on them, and see where they go. Here's your bread,
here's your two bottles of wine, code drink. The best
is yet to come. So, speaking of dreams and risk
(24:29):
taking and different things, that is one thing my husband
been and I are different. You know. I am cautious.
I like to think through my steps. I want to know, Okay,
if I do this, this, this, and that are going
to happen. You can't always know that. And Ben is
the opposite. He is a risk taker and always has been. Yeah,
(24:51):
the only thing I count as how many broken bones
I've had I've never had, which we're working on that now.
I don't want to break, but we have to jump
off of something and do something. I've jumped off things,
and I did it very a one time I jumped
off that waterfall. Okay, you did. Oh my gosh, that
was so fun forever ever and everybody had to leave.
(25:14):
Everybody had to leave. It was so weird. But I
did it. You did it. You didn't have a picture
of it. Yeah, but you are just sort of a
natural risk taker. But it kind of falls in line
if you've all ever done the any A Graham test,
and I think Amy's had an expert on before, and
we are by no means experts. But if you just
(25:34):
know are any A Graham numbers? You know, I'm a nine,
which is more the peacemaker, all the feathers you want
to mess things up. Yeah, but it also keeps me
like I don't want to take a lot of risks,
you know. But when I'm in a growth phase, then
I am taking action and doing things. But when I'm
not anxious and and all the things, so I kind
of teeter both ways. But you are a seven, which
(25:57):
is kind of the adventure seeker lever, don't don't necessarily
think before you jump, You just jump and figured out
along the way. So that's definitely where we sort of
balance each other out. And I think that's probably what
attracted me to you so much, is that you were
(26:18):
that you were in my opposite in so many ways,
and that you were kind of dangerous and risky and
all the things. And anybody that knows us listening to
this is probably laughing. So rush, but they've all like
Ben's been with me when I've like jumped off that cliff. Yeah,
(26:41):
we had his hood fly up. I think we're fifteen
years old driving in the jeep to Colorado on his
hood flew up over the jeep. Well, yeah, you almost
went over the bridge over town late the trailer on
the back, and yeah, I'm we're like swerving like fish
tailing because the trailer is like going crazy behind us,
and it's whipping a jeep around and you shouldn't have
a big, heavy trailer hooked up to a jeep. But
(27:03):
we're going over town like bridge in Austin, and I
do not have control. And I look at Ben saying
I'm just gonna slam it into the wall and what
has been do he buckles in case we go over
the bridge, he can get a swan dive in we
hit and boom, you know, everything explodes and it's crazy.
(27:24):
And I look over and he's like hanging on the
edge of the door, like about to dive, getting in
diver position. It's always been one step ahead, especially dangerous situations,
like he's got a plan. He's actually got plan A,
Plan B and plan C just in case. For he
was on plan C when he unbuckled and ready to
(27:47):
jump off the bridge. But yeah, we've had a lot
of fun together. Yeah, And so I think in losing
mom and walking with her just through some things, it's
so crazy how lost in difficult times sometimes will strip
you of the things that used to hold you back
or the things you used to worry about all the time.
And I really think that did that for me because
(28:08):
that was a moment where I started to become just
more open to man, what if we did this, and
what if we looked at this, and what if you know?
And and that kind of trickled into this opportunity that
kind of came our way where you and I were
wrestling a little bit about possibly making a big move,
which would be to a small mountain town in Colorado
(28:28):
from Austin, Texas. You and I both born and raised Austin.
You spent a lot of time in the mountains because
you worked at Young Life camps every summer, you went
to college in the mountains. You were a fly fisherman
and a ski and struct the and yeah, essentially we
had spent some time living in a small town for
a brief period of time in Colorado, and we sort
(28:50):
of had felt a calling back to that place. But
in my head, you know, old Christie would be like
listening off all the reasons why we couldn't and shouldn't
do it, as it wouldn't make sense, and what about this,
and we don't know what it holds. It was, It
was long, but I think but you know what, it
was actually probably shortly right after I jumped off that waterfall,
(29:13):
because we were in the Grand Canyon that summer on
like this family trip. We had greenk parents there, we
had cousins there, we had aunts and uncles. We were
on these rafts, stuck on rafts together, unplugged from life
for that six or seven days or however much it
was and I think that was the moment we just
decided we either need to just do this or stop
(29:33):
talking about it, and we made the decision to move
to this small mountain town of Pagosa Springs, Colorado, which
is where we are right now. We're recording at the
local k Wolf radio station. Thank you, k shout out,
Thank you Christie. Anyway, where was I going with that? Well,
I think we need to find more cliffs for you
to jump off. That's what That's where you were going
(29:55):
with that, honey. How risk Maybe an overcoming fear and
doing things kind of invites you towards more. So I
just thought about that. How it was literally shortly right
after that waterfall jump that we I had already moved
here in my head, I was just waiting for you
to come, waiting for me to get you to get
(30:16):
on board. So you're manipulating the situation essentially. Well, so
finally I get on board, and we're like, Okay, Adeline
our oldest. We have four kids, and so Adeline is
our oldest. She was about to be a freshman in
high school. I mean now she's almost now she's about
to be a freshman in college. But we were kind
of just going through the process of either we do
(30:36):
this now or it's going to be harder to do
once the kids are starting getting connected. All in high
school and and all that long story short, took the jump,
moved into this little old Victorian house on the river
and downtown Pagosa Springs, and every day we didn't necessarily
know what the future was going to hold. We kind
of kept a lot of our design work in Austin.
(30:58):
My husband been you would travel back and forth doing projects.
We hope to do more projects in Colorado, but weren't
absolutely sure we would get jobs or anything. And every
day we would walk to this little coffee shop and
it was just down the river from our house, and
we'd walk in and we we loved the location. It
(31:19):
was close by, we'd have coffee, we do work, we'd
take the kids there, and then, you know, we just
kind of kept showing up to this coffee shop. Maybe
there had been a little dream that had stirred inside
of us over the years of having a little retail
shop or coffee shop as a part of our design
office business. But then an opportunity came our way where
(31:40):
we learned this coffee shop was available. Going to be
for sale. And in my head, of course, the initial
reaction is all the reasons why we shouldn't do it,
and why it's too risky and why it's you know, dangerous,
and what if we fail and all the things, and
but we just kept taking the next right step and
not knowing what was beyond that, and here we are.
(32:00):
Now we have this coffee shop, Rude House Coffee, right
on the river, about a couple from our house on
the San Juan River, in this little mountain town where
we get to keep having coffee but have a lot
more fun having coffee with friends and employees and family
that comes through towns. So maybe the initial dream was
that someday we would have a little coffee and retail
(32:22):
shop in our design office. The dream actually morphed to
a place, well, what if we have a coffee shop
that has retail and we just office out of there,
so we don't have an official design office. We have
a barn, a barn we work out if we have
our kitchen table, and then we have the coffee shop.
And it's been a huge I couldn't have planned the
(32:44):
way that it's worked out if I would have tried
to plan it it probably wouldn't have gone that way
and if I would have seen past the first step.
It really is in risk taking. Sometimes it's about just
taking the next right step. You don't know beyond that,
just keep doing and if you get detoured, you get detoured.
Just used that as there was a lot of obstacles
(33:05):
all along the way. But like you said, you don't
have to be a seven. You can be a nine
and still take risk. The experience that you had through
your mother passing away, in that whole experience and Shawna
Nyquis and some different stories that came along allowed you
to really kind of take those risks and make those
jumps and knew that it was worth it. And I've
had that. That's kind of what kind of you know,
I'm a seven year and nine. But then we took
(33:27):
the leap to Colorado and then this coffee shop and
it didn't happen right at first. We actually made an
offer and then had to we actually didn't want to
counter on our offer. The original offer wasn't good enough,
and so we walked away from it fully for a
year and kind of just gave it over and walked
away from it. And it was perfect timing because our
oldest daughter had her spinal fusion back surgery, and then
(33:49):
the next year your dad had some cancer stuff that
he's still dealing with even a little bit today. But
we stayed through. And I think that goes back to
your mom and how we talked about how she was
so steady, accountable, always, They're always present, all available, and
that's really like you're a real mold from her. But
through her passing and the stuff that you've learned that
(34:10):
some risk are work taking, even if there's obstacles in
the way. Again, like the coffee shop. We didn't get
it when we made the first time. Even if you fail,
and even if it doesn't go the exact way you planned,
you know it's it's still worth trying. So and I
think at the same time, I was reading Burnet Brown's
Daring Greatly book, who is also one of my best friends.
(34:33):
So anyway, if you are at all wrestling with what
it looks like to dare greatly, that's a great resource
to pick up. By Brune Brown. Speaking of daring greatly,
there's a phrase that we started using back in Austin
(34:58):
design days. I sort of recall when we first heard
it and I vaguely knew what it meant, but it's
the phrase of almost afoa, which we had. I knew
it kind of meant like come over here, maybe outside.
It's Spanish. I didn't necessarily know what it exactly translated
to until we looked it up one day and it
literally translates to let's go outside, let's go out. And
(35:21):
heard it first. We had a housekeeper come would come
over like once a week and help us out, and
she would say to kids, almost almost almost afoot and
she'd be like, let's go outside. She's kicking him out
of the house, which was something always grew up. My
dad always kind of kicked me out of the house
and my mom would had me pbnj's through the window
because I couldn't come back in until he came back in.
So it was always it's not like this glamorous we
(35:43):
had like I'm like I was drowning. Alicia would come
help me. Oh my gosh, she was so awesome. Helped
me at the house so I didn't go insane. But
she would always say when the kids were in the house,
she'd be like almost almost of f uh. And we
kind of heard that and it kind of stuck with us,
and then it kind of resonated over into route design
(36:06):
when we would be designing projects or trying to figure
something out on with pen and paper on the desk
or in the studio, and I remember the different guys
Lupi and Cordero and and some of the guys that
were helping us. They'd be like, almost almost almost a
funny let's go outside and just figure it out. Let's
just jump in, let's let's put the parts and pieces
together and just make it happen right then and there,
(36:27):
and and so that kind of became it was kind
of an undercurrent tone with everything we did. It was
just all right, almost funny, let's let's go outside and
just go figure this right. So it's become sort of
a tagline, and we even have shirts at the shop
now that's save almos Sefuita, because it's this idea. You know,
we're kind of in an outdoorsy town, so obviously vomo
fuita let's go outside. It could mean let's go to
(36:48):
the woods, let's go camping, let's go take a hike,
let's go ski, whatever it is. But to us, the
deeper meaning of vomo sefuita is let's go outside our
comfort zone, right, Let's see how far we can push
the envelope a little bit, like what can we dream
and try to make happen? And that's sort of been
the snowball effect of different things, like what if we
(37:10):
made our own hats and T shirts for the coffee shop?
And so what if we bought a coffee shop? What
if we moved to Colorado? What if we did all
these crazy things that we've kind of done over the right,
which didn't all fall in order. It wasn't like, well,
first we're going to move to Colorado, then we're going
to buy a coffee shop, then we're going to make
some T shirts and her or then our daughter's gonna
have surgery, and then your dad's gonna get cancer, and
(37:31):
then we're didn't plan those things of those are the
like speed bumps, right, And that's where almost was always
just like telling us just get outside and just do it.
Get outside your convenient comforts, risk those things that get
outside your every day get outside your box and try
new things and adventure. And so it kind of works there,
Like you said, being in the mountains, it's kind of
(37:52):
common sense let's go outside, but also as a life
motto of get outside your box, go outside you every day,
try something new. And so then one day we got
you got Let's be honest, you got the Instagram message
from someone on our route design company Instagram page, and
(38:13):
good thing they messaged you. Because you know me sometimes
go on a whole and not very engaging. Sometimes I yeah,
someone wants my attention. Okay, you want to talk to me? Yeah,
And I'm like, oh, maybe you take me you know,
a few months to respond for any listener, what people
(38:33):
like this person want on the other side of this request.
So but you got an Instagram Instagram message saying like something,
Hey have y'all like ever thought out doing a TV show?
We're like, no, Well, I mean the funny thing is
people had approached you as a design show concept potential
(38:55):
a couple other times over the years we've had the
business almost twenty sixteen years whatever it is, So I mean,
it's come up a couple of times that never went anywhere.
In part some one time it felt really shady and
I was like, I don't think we need this in
our life. So, but this particular lady was a producer.
It felt I don't know. She was just warm and
(39:17):
kind and inviting, and we started some conversations. We took
the risk and I was like, Okay, let's see where
this goes. And everything in me wanted to no. No,
We've kind of walked down this road before with someone else.
It's probably not going to go anywhere. It's probably nothing,
and we should just say no because we need to
(39:38):
protect ourselves from it going nowhere and wasting time and
different things like that. So, but wet the conversation, conversation going.
And if you know Been, he's really good at that.
He's all about conversation, like everything is. It's a to
be continued conversation. I love language for all you listener
(40:00):
his words of affirmation. She's really hitting it right now.
Thank you? Oh is that you like that? Okay? Yeah,
I'm not as good as giving words of affirmation because
my love language is acts of service. So I would
like to do things in some way shape for make coffee,
I make the bed, I make fire, make the bed. Okay, well,
(40:20):
make coffee, make bed, make fire. That's like our mornings,
we start the day off. For you. It is subjects
so awesome. Anyway, is there's this crazy thing we're doing
right now after two years, after two years of conversation,
talking to my life through it, zoom calls holding hands, therapy, therapy,
(40:45):
um ranch waters, lots of coffee, espresso plus tequila has
kind of been our thing going through all this. But
now we're filming a show. We can't say a lot
about it. We can't talk about it. We can't name
names or places or things or all that. But where
Christie and I, which definitely wasn't in the plan. It
(41:06):
wasn't Hey, well, first we're going to move to Colorado,
and then we're going to buy a coffee shop and
then we're going to film a TV show like that
was definitely not in the plan. But I think it's
a testament to this idea that life will just stay
interesting if you keep doing the next right step. But
there will be gaps, there will be setbacks, there will
be all the things, and sometimes you're in the middle
(41:27):
of it and can't see through it, but you will
get to the other side. There's been a lot, and
everything you say yes to means you say no to
something else, and so it's good to have that kind
of barometer of you can't just do every next right thing.
You really have to evaluate. You gotta talk, you gotta
you gotta work with each other. And yeah, Christine are
very different, but we talk a lot. We make fire
(41:50):
and have coffee every morning, and that's our that's kind
of our quiet time to keep ourselves aligned. But the
whole make fire, it's make bet, that's right, That's how
this designer keeps callouses on his hands. So but the
whole volmost of what kind of you know, get outside
your comfort zone, get outside you every day, try new things,
(42:11):
the next right thing. But also no on everything you
say yes to, who means you say no to something else.
But we also kind of have our in our coffee shop.
We kind of we have some apparel that we've been launching.
Super Soft launched just kind of playing with it. But
we called it Filled and Far and Filled and Far
comes from a scripture that we were kind of inspired by.
He will provide for the lilies of the field and
(42:32):
do far more abundantly than you can ever imagine. And
so when you trust and take those valmost of what
a moments and you stand on the ledge and you
look over the cliff and you look at where you
can jump to. Sometimes unknown, but you just know it's
the next right thing, and so you jump. And how
much more would he provide for the lilies of the
field and do far more abundantly than you can imagine?
(42:53):
And again where we are. Yeah, it's a combination of
two verses. But it's kind of been just what keeps
driving us. And it doesn't mean that everything is right.
Sometimes you have to peel back and back up and
and started doing that didn't not work whatsoever. Yeah, so,
but it's really fun. Right now we're filming the show.
It's every couple of weeks, this crew. It's kind of
(43:15):
for one show. Um, the crew has been just the
guy who mikes you up in films or is listening
to things all the time. I really think they're also
therapists on the side, because like every time he's putting
my little microphone on, he'll be like, you're doing a
great job. Listen, listen. I really that really came across
really well, and just you know, and he's like in
(43:37):
your ear in the head camera guy. His name has
been also, which is so fun. We've got all these
bands but and we don't know where it's going to go.
But it's a fun story. And that's what I've sort
of learned from YouTube, and it's like, Okay, this could
crash and burn and go nowhere, but at the end
of the day, it'll be a fun story. And they're
really letting our family be a part of it. We've
(43:58):
done breakfast scenes at the house, and we've done fishing
scenes on the river fishing. I had my Brad Pitt
moment on the river then, is right, that's his favorite movie.
A river runs through it, and so he's had this
moment where they were filming me fly fishing. You essentially
think it's a fly fishing if I could have died
and gone and I would have been good. You know
(44:19):
I've done You're basically Brad Pitt. We know that. Yeah,
so I think we need to wrap it up. Yeah,
but all that to say, have fun, take risk almost
of what I trust in it. Sometimes you have to
back up sometimes, but you have to do it. And
life comes with failures and comes with death. We've had
a saying in our marriage, Um, you know over our
(44:40):
almost twenty years or now twenty years of marriage that
you have multiple marriages. Um, just depends have it with
the same person or not. Yeah, we heard it said
once by someone, it's like every married person will have
multiple marriages, and I was like, you know, and then
you know, because I know that does happen, but they said,
and some times it will be with the same person.
(45:03):
So it's okay to like regroup, to like reset, like
if you hit a rock bottom, rebuild from that, use
those ashes and raise them up into something better. Exactly.
Been an Amy, been there with us, We've been through it.
That's what families for. And you stay together and you
fight together, and like you said, you rise up from
(45:25):
the ashes and almost get out there. Good out and
do something fun, have fun, adventure on and see where
life takes you. Good job, bab Man. Thanks for listening
to us Ramble. I hope we did okay with these
things podcast. It's about time. I'm telling you older sister
time finally, So okay, bye guy,
Okay, little food for you. So life. Oh it's pretty Bay,
It's pretty beautiful than that. A little moth kicking with
(00:30):
four Happy Thursday. Everybody amy here for the intro, but
when it comes to the four Things today, I gotta
treat for you. I have a podcast takeover and my
sister Christie and her husband Ben will be bringing you
the Four Things. And I haven't listened to the episode
(00:50):
yet full disclosure, but I do know a little bit
of what they get into, and I know in the
first thing, I think they're telling some backstories about me
from in the day. I mean obviously known my sister
in my whole life. She's four years older than me,
but her husband I have known since I was I
don't know, eight or nine years old, so he's been
in my life a long time. And I'm sure they
(01:13):
have some stories about me that have never really been
shared before. They don't make it onto the Bobby Bones Show.
Probably stuff that I prefer people didn't know, but who knows.
We'll have to see. I'm gonna be listening to this
episode along with you guys when it comes out. I
know my sister is sharing one of her favorite books
with you. She is wise, my sister is, but so
(01:35):
is the author that my sister is going to be sharing.
But if you've heard my sister on the podcast before,
you know that she has good stories to tell and
she's always reading different books and she's got little nuggets
that are always good things to keep in your back pockets.
So that'll be the second thing. And then the third thing,
they're going to talk about acting on your dreams, which
they have done that a lot, and their latest dream
(01:58):
is their coffee shop that they opened and Colorado, so
shout out a root House Coffee. I feel like this episode,
even though we have commercials in the episode, I'll just
go ahead and say I feel like because my sister
and her has been stepped in to help me out
this week. This episode is unofficially brought to you by
root House Coffee and Pagosa Springs, Colorado, And if you're
(02:19):
ever driving through there or you live near there, definitely
go stop by their shop. And then the fourth thing
they get into is them talking about doing the unexpected,
I mean, and that goes for everybody, like sometimes in
life you just do something you never thought you would do.
Because my sister and her husband are filming a TV show,
and I know that that's definitely something my sister never
(02:40):
thought in a million years that she would do, even
if they were offered it. I think she would normally
picture herself saying no to it. It was like a
two year thing that they never ever thought would happen.
So she kept saying yes to certain things. And then
fast forward here we are now and they are taping
for a TV show that's I don't think they're allowed
to say that that work yet, but I mean it's
pretty legit, and I still can't believe it at times.
(03:03):
And maybe you've got something going in your life where
you're being invited to do something that is outside the
box or outside of your comfort zone, but maybe you
should just go ahead and do it, do the unexpected,
and see where it takes you. That's what they're going
to get into. I'm so grateful. As I've mentioned in
previous episodes, or maybe this is your first one, I'm
(03:26):
taking a step back for a little bit, and I've
got some friends and family and other people that will
be filling in for four Things and my Fifth Thing
episode on Tuesdays. So coming up next Tuesday, Keaton Claus
is going to be doing a takeover and answering all
of your things, holiday decor and holiday family traditions. She's
gonna be decorating my house again this year for Christmas,
(03:49):
and she just has the best, most cutest ideas. So
definitely check out the episode that's coming up this next Tuesday,
and then I think we have something fun in store
for y'all next Thursday as well. So I'm just so
thankful for having a community of people that are rallying
to support me when my attention needs to be focused elsewhere.
(04:12):
So with that said, I'm gonna let you get into
the episode. Oh of course, no, speaking of Christmas, I know,
after I talked about Keaton, I wanted to tell y'all
speaking of Christmas, I hope you've already started your Christmas shopping,
especially if you're shopping with a Splat or Four Things
or over at the shop Forward anything Pimp and Joy,
because I just want to encourage you to go ahead
(04:32):
and get it checked off your lists, whether you want
to customize a Four Things tot for someone, or you
want to get a new Four Things gratitude journal or
a cute star necklace or a Pimp and Joy hat,
Like if you want to give a gift that gives back.
The Shot Forward is where it is at, and you
can find links to any of that radio amy dot com.
But also wherever you're shopping. You want to do it
(04:54):
now because I know that inventories and issue shippings and
issue coronavirus has just messed everything. This here for a
lot of things. You don't want it to mess up
your Christmas presents, So go ahead and shop now so
that way you get everything in the mail and you
can breathe e see. Okay, now legit, we're really going
to start the episode. Here we go. First, man, Hey guys,
(05:18):
it is Amy's sister Christie and my husband Been. Hello.
Not to be confused with my sister's husband Been. We've
both married. Bence is better band. You're the better thing. Okay,
Well here we are. We are taking over Amy's podcast. Yes,
it's our show today. That's what we can say is
the better bands take over Big Sister takeover day. Okay,
(05:40):
So Amy's not with us here today. In some ways
somehow she has put the podcast in our hands. So
it's about time. Is that what you say? Okay, Well,
here we go. So I just thought we'd kind of
start off a little bit and talk about knowing Amy
and maybe some Amy stories. And obviously I've known Amy
my entire life because I'm the older sister. She's been
(06:01):
around um since I was four years old in my life,
and I love her. So we've had just a series
events that led us both to kind of meet you
been and her husband been honestly still when we were kids.
So the story behind that is that when I was
about thirteen and Amy was nine, our dad set us
down and said he was leaving. And so he was,
(06:24):
you know, leaving our family to move on to other things,
as happens in a lot of young kids lives, and
it's really sad and devastating. And we had an old
friend of my mom call us and invite us to
come to her church. Obviously, we showed up. We went
and walked into the church and that's where we met.
I met you and youth group. So we were both thirteen,
(06:44):
which is like youth group age, you know, and Amy
was nine. So okay, we don't have to argue the
details of the age, but I'm pretty sure we were
both thirteen at the time, and so Amy was young,
not quite a youth group yet, but I'm sure you
have some like early memories of any NonStop always they're
(07:09):
always around, always talking. That was her nickname in elementary school.
Maybe even to this day, Moffatt was our maiden name.
She's always loved to talk. She's always loved gab, just
got the gift of gab, and she's always got a
thought to share. She was always that like annoying little sister.
It was always there, always in the background or always
(07:30):
in your way. She just wanted to be a part
of everything. Not much has changed though, we love her though.
She's awesome. Yeah, so what's one of your just one
early story. She even got like baptized at our house.
Yes we are church had like an event your family's house,
and some people got baptized at her own baptism. He
(07:54):
was one of them. She performed, you know, before her
own baptism. Um. She had a guitar layers back up
a Grant song. Yeah, I don't remember the title, but
it was about how the Lord has a will and
I haven't need to follow his will. It's that song.
Whatever that Amy Grant song is, I could sing it
for you. But together another lad Then we had a
(08:19):
date one of our first dates that actually the same day.
That was the same day, the same day chapter the
baptism church party, potluck style, old school Southern style that
we were doing ready for. Yeah, the dance, No, it wasn't.
Was what was like a debutante ball and you called
(08:42):
it Debbie Thompson ball. That's what I thought it was.
And and you gave me a corsage like a flower
to wear on my wrist and you called it a
Chris I know what this stuff was. I just know
I was supposed to get you something. You were young.
That Amy was there and all the pictures in the
background coming in, yeah, coming into the back of the car.
(09:04):
I think she's like in every photo of that event.
So yeah, that's awesome memory. And then we had we
had we've had other times we've done. Her and I
did some singing together. I mean they'd kind of let
anybody seeing a church and so you played a part
in that performance. Well, I was trying to help the situation. Maybe, Okay,
(09:27):
what happened, Well, y'all were singing up on stage. Lord
prepared me to be a sanctuary, sanctuary, and I thought
I would prepare the sanctuary with a little pepper mace
that I was fiddling with your mother's purse and it
accidentally went off in the church and everybody's coughing and crying,
and y'all are trying to finish this song, and I'm
just trying to get out of the aisle right as
(09:49):
fast as I can and prepared the sanctuary with the
pepper sprays. Yeah, people were coffee. Amy and I were
up there. This is like our big do people are coffee,
and we were honestly also choking a little bit up there,
but I think we're in the front row, so I
(10:11):
don't know. Yea, to this day, her and I like
to do a little duet of that every now and then,
you know, when we're together, we do stuff like that.
And then she got married got married, well, of course
she was there was Yeah, she was in our wedding,
as was her future husbandman, he was on my side.
(10:33):
But the big thing was it was Amy's birthday, birthday,
so she was there, so I you know, we Bill
had seen sixteen candles and I didn't want it to
be like a repeat of that. We didn't want it
to be like, oh no, everybody forgot the little sister's birthday,
So no, we we had a cake color coordinated with
our wedding cake had her name on it. Happy Birthday.
(10:56):
We sang a song, we did the whole thing about her.
Whatever I forgive you Amy, Amy and my been go
way back. I mean Amy and her been go way
back to my been likes to give her a hard
time on a lot of things. So then past that,
fast forward, we're married. Amy graduates college. She's going to
(11:19):
go out into the big world. Doesn't want to live
at home with moms, so she moves in with us.
But but it wasn't, Yeah, it wasn't. There was a shed,
a potting shed out back. She had her own place
and like maybe eight by six four. There was tiny
(11:42):
bed and a back of clothes in it, no restrooms.
She had to run across the yard driveway into our house.
And then she was working for us. She was our
first so called Root Design employee. We have a business,
Root Design, a design business, but she was like that.
We started and we kind of launched it right a
decades ago. Yeah, right when she moved in. We had
(12:04):
a baby. We thought this would be a good idea,
not really and great job a few times, but it
was great. She'd watch Ade was our oldest now who's seventeen.
She did. She would go out and measure properties. And
then she also worked for Gold's Gym, and she did
like the early morning, like five o'clock, four thirties. She
(12:26):
had to get there and I'd have to go wake
her up because she would always oversleep. And I'd go
in there and I am Amy, I bang on the
shed door and I'd go in there. I peeled back
the covers and she's got her shoes on. I'm like, oh,
you're already ready. She's like, no, I put them on
last nights because I knew I was going to be late,
And so she would sleep in her clothes, her Gold's
Gym uniform, shoes on and everything, so she could hop
(12:47):
up because she knew she's going to be late and
run out the door and run to work. She probably
some morning radio radio show. She sleeps in her clothes.
I'm sure. I'm sure she does. And I think back
to those times, and I think to just Mom, even
during that time, you know, when we were when we
(13:07):
were young kids and we were first coming to that church,
and Mom was, you know, going through a lot of
hard stuff as a single mom. And I would wake
up every morning and see her praying on the couch,
and I didn't think a ton about it, but later
we had conversations about it, and I learned she wasn't
necessarily sitting there praying that my dad would come home.
She was praying that she would be changed in all
(13:31):
of this, that she would grow to be who she
was created to be, that she would, you know, be
a good mom during everything, and just do her very
best to give us what we needed at that time.
And I would say she did an amazing job. She
honestly instilled in both Famie and I. But I mean,
I can only speak for myself with my own marriage,
(13:52):
but just just this idea that marriage isn't easy, that
marriage is hard at times, and that it's worth fighting
for and it can be worth just enduring the hard
times to get to the other side and see what's there.
So and that's what she did, and she got up,
she got out even in the hardest of time. She
kept pushing forward, and she got you all to a
(14:12):
church with a new community. And little does she know
that that church would also be the same place that
both her daughters would meet their future husband's. Her future
sent them halls. I think she still likes the other
been better than me. But that's another podcast we can
we can do a vote on she agreed to like you,
but she was awesome and that was the deal. She
(14:33):
was tested and tried, but she's persevered and she kept going,
praying on her knees, going to a church, finding a community.
And boy did that pave the way for um the
next twenty plus years now that we're in and I
think it could be an inspiration to us all Naively.
Probably when we first got married, I thought, you know what,
(14:55):
we're probably not going to have marriage issues because this
is going to be so fun. Me and I'm marrying
my best friend. We're going to get to live together
and do everything together all the time. How do you
feel about that today? Now, a break every now and
then isn't so bad. But I mean, we we've hit
some rough patches and but I'd say we've worked through
(15:16):
them and they've grown us into a stronger relationship. And
so there's one particular rough patch I was thinking back on,
and it was after we'd been married about ten years
and we had four little kids. Dad was going my
dad was going through some tough stuff and he was
moving in with us, and we had a lot going
on in our house, like one of our kids was
(15:36):
a newborn, I'm breastfeeding. There was all kinds of things
going on. And then we had just hit this rock
bottom in our marriage and you came home with a gift.
Do you remember what it was? It was a book
from Barnes and Noble. Barnes and Noble. Oreo Cookie on
the cover of it. That's all I remember. I don't
think it was an Oreo cook. It was like a
(15:59):
chocolate cove, some type of dark chocolate decon Oreo to me,
homemade cookie. Probably not an Oreo. But I could see
how you thought it was an Oreo. But what made
you pick out that book? It was bitter sweet, and
everything we were going through was kind of bitter sweet.
It was really maybe it was bitter it was, but
(16:19):
it had potential there was and it had food on
the cover and food, and I'm always it's always a
win if it has something to do with food for you.
So that's what I just took a stab at food
and cookie. Oreo. Christie probably liked this book. It's got
an Oreo on it, ore on it, But really I
(16:41):
did love that book. I hadn't really been a reader
prior to that, so I think you really introduced me
to a genre of reading I really enjoyed. And so
it was Shauna Okay, the book was Bitter Sweet by
Shaun and meequist. And I never know if I'm saying
it right, if it's neiqquist or quists, I don't know,
whatever it is. I mean, she's my best friend, but
(17:02):
I don't know how to say her name. But really,
and why I say that, I mean jokingly, is that
I say she's my best friend because she really met
me in a place and kind of put a lot
of words to ways I was feeling and gave me
hope for the dark times, even in our marriage, even
in parenting, even in all the things that growth could
come from it. And so the idea of the book
(17:24):
was that life is all about the bitter and the sweet,
because if it was only sweet, then you wouldn't know
the sweet as well, and so the bitter is what
makes the sweet so much better. And so it really
the whole book just kind of gave me this perspective
that that are are hard things happened to us for
a reason. And the very last line of the book
(17:46):
was your story must be told, which kind of just
gave me permission, Like, this pain isn't wasted like what
you're going through. And everybody has all different hard things
they go through, but what you're going through is not waste. It.
You will grow from it, and you will share it
with someone else, and it will come alongside them in
their own pain. And your pain can be used. Your
(18:08):
pain will grow you all of that stuff. So I
think you walking into Barnes and Noble picking out a
book with an Oreo on it, I don't think you
knew that you were introducing me to an author who
I would just fall in love with, and UM ended
up so far I've read all of her books, so
she had had a prior book to that I ended
(18:29):
up buying. And then her next book was Bread and Wine,
and that was a book I was reading when my
mom in two thousand thirteen was going through her cancer treatments,
and so she I think we were at MD Anderson.
We would take turns going with her to her treatments,
and we were there she was hooked up to tubes
getting some chemo, and I was reading Bread and Wine
(18:51):
by Shawanna, and I walked out to go the restroom,
and when I came back in, my mom had picked
up the book and was just sort of thumbing through
it and came to the chapter that was entitled What
my Mother Taught Me. And I think she just found
that interesting because you know, she's a mother, and she
was reading through it, and when I came in, she
(19:11):
set it down. And so essentially the chapter is Shawna
talking about her mom and all the things she's done,
how her life has continued to just always have this
mantra of the best is yet to come, like you
never really arrive, keep trying those things, keep taking up
new hobbies, keep accomplishing. And so her mother had been
like a flutist and a flower arranger and a peacemaker
(19:35):
in the Middle East. I mean, you know, small hobby
things and bigger things, and I think my mom just
kind of compared her a little bit, and I went, oh, gosh,
I don't know if I how I compared to this woman.
You know, I don't know what I've done with my
life and what kind of impact am I leaving And
have I followed my dreams and have I listened to
my dreams? And what even are my dreams, and so
(19:56):
it kind of started this conversation that continued honest Lee
through her end of life, like of just a little
bit of a wrestling of gosh, I'm not sure I
did what I was put here fully to do, and
and just not even certain of what her dreams were.
But you know, I think she was being a little
hard on herself because if you knew Mom, you know
(20:17):
she was the most incredible, steady, loyal, patient, you know, loving, giving,
just steady is such a good word for her, and
usually such a good perspective on things, like didn't really
get riled up over issues, was just just I think
I rolled her up a few times maybe, and Amy
(20:43):
Ller up a little bit, but I mean overall still
does today. Overall she was still Yeah, your mom was awesome.
I mean who she worked for, she how she helped
run that church, and she worked for a family business
and you know, almost rain that business behind the scenes
for nine years and and was just incredible at what
(21:05):
she did and was perseverant and just like you said, steady, consistent,
always accountable, and that's that's what made her awesome. And
because she was always she was always there, she was
always available and she was always ready. Yeah, And so
I think in walking alongside her through her wrestling through
those different thoughts that were going on in her mind
(21:26):
at end of life. And I do think that's a
common thing that people wrestle with, like gosh, what could
I have done more of And why didn't I listen
to that dream? And why didn't I try that thing?
And why didn't I take that risk, which I find
myself honestly doing quite often, like as a pattern in
my life. I want to keep things safe. I want
to not step outside the box too much. I don't
want to ruffle anybody's feathers. I don't want to fail.
(21:48):
I don't want to do all the things. But I
think in walking alongside her through that, I kind of
learned maybe maybe risk is worth it. Sometimes maybe failing
isn't too bad. Maybe that's actually really an opportunity or
a stepping stone to what's on the on the other side.
So all that to say, I think the story of
(22:08):
her kind of passing away. She her last final days
were spent in our home. We had a lot of
family in and out of the house. We had the
opportunity you my husband been me Amy and her husband
been to be around my mom's bedside when she took
her last breath. And you know, the next day was
(22:28):
my birthday, and I didn't get that phone call that
I normally would get every morning where she sings me
the special song. And so there was a lot of
just gut wrenching happening. But there also was a surprise
that limbed surprise on the front porch. I think I
was going to get something food or breakfast or something,
and on the front porch was a basket had bread
in it, right, banana bread or something. No, it was
(22:51):
a loaf of a loaf of bread. Okay, he loaf
of bread like a loaf of bread like sour dough,
and two bottles of wine. Two bottles of wine, and
tanned written note from shawna niquist. Still to this day,
we have no clue how I got there. And I
mean it had my name on it, so it was
to me, it was to you, and think, well it was.
(23:15):
I totally figured out it totally was legit. There's a
long story to it, but it's legit. I did my research.
It was in fact her handwriting her paper and she
wrote me a note. But we don't know who put
it there, and so whoever did, they were doing the
work of my mom. That's the way I kind of
look at it. I'm always trying to put words, you know,
(23:36):
or pieces together and create stories out of things. But
that particular story I just felt like was a message
from Mom saying, remember that book, bread and Wine, Remember
that moment in the hospital, Remember all the wrestling I
had about my dreams. Christie, your best is yet to come.
And so I think that's something that a lot of
listeners could resonate with. Two um just on this idea
(23:59):
that dreams are worth having, that dreams are worth chasing,
that your dreams matter, pay attention to them, take action
on them, and see where they go. Here's your bread,
here's your two bottles of wine, code drink. The best
is yet to come. So, speaking of dreams and risk
(24:29):
taking and different things, that is one thing my husband
been and I are different. You know. I am cautious.
I like to think through my steps. I want to know, Okay,
if I do this, this, this, and that are going
to happen. You can't always know that. And Ben is
the opposite. He is a risk taker and always has been. Yeah,
(24:51):
the only thing I count as how many broken bones
I've had I've never had, which we're working on that now.
I don't want to break, but we have to jump
off of something and do something. I've jumped off things,
and I did it very a one time I jumped
off that waterfall. Okay, you did. Oh my gosh, that
was so fun forever ever and everybody had to leave.
(25:14):
Everybody had to leave. It was so weird. But I
did it. You did it. You didn't have a picture
of it. Yeah, but you are just sort of a
natural risk taker. But it kind of falls in line
if you've all ever done the any A Graham test,
and I think Amy's had an expert on before, and
we are by no means experts. But if you just
(25:34):
know are any A Graham numbers? You know, I'm a nine,
which is more the peacemaker, all the feathers you want
to mess things up. Yeah, but it also keeps me
like I don't want to take a lot of risks,
you know. But when I'm in a growth phase, then
I am taking action and doing things. But when I'm
not anxious and and all the things, so I kind
of teeter both ways. But you are a seven, which
(25:57):
is kind of the adventure seeker lever, don't don't necessarily
think before you jump, You just jump and figured out
along the way. So that's definitely where we sort of
balance each other out. And I think that's probably what
attracted me to you so much, is that you were
(26:18):
that you were in my opposite in so many ways,
and that you were kind of dangerous and risky and
all the things. And anybody that knows us listening to
this is probably laughing. So rush, but they've all like
Ben's been with me when I've like jumped off that cliff. Yeah,
(26:41):
we had his hood fly up. I think we're fifteen
years old driving in the jeep to Colorado on his
hood flew up over the jeep. Well, yeah, you almost
went over the bridge over town late the trailer on
the back, and yeah, I'm we're like swerving like fish
tailing because the trailer is like going crazy behind us,
and it's whipping a jeep around and you shouldn't have
a big, heavy trailer hooked up to a jeep. But
(27:03):
we're going over town like bridge in Austin, and I
do not have control. And I look at Ben saying
I'm just gonna slam it into the wall and what
has been do he buckles in case we go over
the bridge, he can get a swan dive in we
hit and boom, you know, everything explodes and it's crazy.
(27:24):
And I look over and he's like hanging on the
edge of the door, like about to dive, getting in
diver position. It's always been one step ahead, especially dangerous situations,
like he's got a plan. He's actually got plan A,
Plan B and plan C just in case. For he
was on plan C when he unbuckled and ready to
(27:47):
jump off the bridge. But yeah, we've had a lot
of fun together. Yeah, And so I think in losing
mom and walking with her just through some things, it's
so crazy how lost in difficult times sometimes will strip
you of the things that used to hold you back
or the things you used to worry about all the time.
And I really think that did that for me because
(28:08):
that was a moment where I started to become just
more open to man, what if we did this, and
what if we looked at this, and what if you know?
And and that kind of trickled into this opportunity that
kind of came our way where you and I were
wrestling a little bit about possibly making a big move,
which would be to a small mountain town in Colorado
(28:28):
from Austin, Texas. You and I both born and raised Austin.
You spent a lot of time in the mountains because
you worked at Young Life camps every summer, you went
to college in the mountains. You were a fly fisherman
and a ski and struct the and yeah, essentially we
had spent some time living in a small town for
a brief period of time in Colorado, and we sort
(28:50):
of had felt a calling back to that place. But
in my head, you know, old Christie would be like
listening off all the reasons why we couldn't and shouldn't
do it, as it wouldn't make sense, and what about this,
and we don't know what it holds. It was, It
was long, but I think but you know what, it
was actually probably shortly right after I jumped off that waterfall,
(29:13):
because we were in the Grand Canyon that summer on
like this family trip. We had greenk parents there, we
had cousins there, we had aunts and uncles. We were
on these rafts, stuck on rafts together, unplugged from life
for that six or seven days or however much it
was and I think that was the moment we just
decided we either need to just do this or stop
(29:33):
talking about it, and we made the decision to move
to this small mountain town of Pagosa Springs, Colorado, which
is where we are right now. We're recording at the
local k Wolf radio station. Thank you, k shout out,
Thank you Christie. Anyway, where was I going with that? Well,
I think we need to find more cliffs for you
to jump off. That's what That's where you were going
(29:55):
with that, honey. How risk Maybe an overcoming fear and
doing things kind of invites you towards more. So I
just thought about that. How it was literally shortly right
after that waterfall jump that we I had already moved
here in my head, I was just waiting for you
to come, waiting for me to get you to get
(30:16):
on board. So you're manipulating the situation essentially. Well, so
finally I get on board, and we're like, Okay, Adeline
our oldest. We have four kids, and so Adeline is
our oldest. She was about to be a freshman in
high school. I mean now she's almost now she's about
to be a freshman in college. But we were kind
of just going through the process of either we do
(30:36):
this now or it's going to be harder to do
once the kids are starting getting connected. All in high
school and and all that long story short, took the jump,
moved into this little old Victorian house on the river
and downtown Pagosa Springs, and every day we didn't necessarily
know what the future was going to hold. We kind
of kept a lot of our design work in Austin.
(30:58):
My husband been you would travel back and forth doing projects.
We hope to do more projects in Colorado, but weren't
absolutely sure we would get jobs or anything. And every
day we would walk to this little coffee shop and
it was just down the river from our house, and
we'd walk in and we we loved the location. It
(31:19):
was close by, we'd have coffee, we do work, we'd
take the kids there, and then, you know, we just
kind of kept showing up to this coffee shop. Maybe
there had been a little dream that had stirred inside
of us over the years of having a little retail
shop or coffee shop as a part of our design
office business. But then an opportunity came our way where
(31:40):
we learned this coffee shop was available. Going to be
for sale. And in my head, of course, the initial
reaction is all the reasons why we shouldn't do it,
and why it's too risky and why it's you know, dangerous,
and what if we fail and all the things, and
but we just kept taking the next right step and
not knowing what was beyond that, and here we are.
(32:00):
Now we have this coffee shop, Rude House Coffee, right
on the river, about a couple from our house on
the San Juan River, in this little mountain town where
we get to keep having coffee but have a lot
more fun having coffee with friends and employees and family
that comes through towns. So maybe the initial dream was
that someday we would have a little coffee and retail
(32:22):
shop in our design office. The dream actually morphed to
a place, well, what if we have a coffee shop
that has retail and we just office out of there,
so we don't have an official design office. We have
a barn, a barn we work out if we have
our kitchen table, and then we have the coffee shop.
And it's been a huge I couldn't have planned the
(32:44):
way that it's worked out if I would have tried
to plan it it probably wouldn't have gone that way
and if I would have seen past the first step.
It really is in risk taking. Sometimes it's about just
taking the next right step. You don't know beyond that,
just keep doing and if you get detoured, you get detoured.
Just used that as there was a lot of obstacles
(33:05):
all along the way. But like you said, you don't
have to be a seven. You can be a nine
and still take risk. The experience that you had through
your mother passing away, in that whole experience and Shawna
Nyquis and some different stories that came along allowed you
to really kind of take those risks and make those
jumps and knew that it was worth it. And I've
had that. That's kind of what kind of you know,
I'm a seven year and nine. But then we took
(33:27):
the leap to Colorado and then this coffee shop and
it didn't happen right at first. We actually made an
offer and then had to we actually didn't want to
counter on our offer. The original offer wasn't good enough,
and so we walked away from it fully for a
year and kind of just gave it over and walked
away from it. And it was perfect timing because our
oldest daughter had her spinal fusion back surgery, and then
(33:49):
the next year your dad had some cancer stuff that
he's still dealing with even a little bit today. But
we stayed through. And I think that goes back to
your mom and how we talked about how she was
so steady, accountable, always, They're always present, all available, and
that's really like you're a real mold from her. But
through her passing and the stuff that you've learned that
(34:10):
some risk are work taking, even if there's obstacles in
the way. Again, like the coffee shop. We didn't get
it when we made the first time. Even if you fail,
and even if it doesn't go the exact way you planned,
you know it's it's still worth trying. So and I
think at the same time, I was reading Burnet Brown's
Daring Greatly book, who is also one of my best friends.
(34:33):
So anyway, if you are at all wrestling with what
it looks like to dare greatly, that's a great resource
to pick up. By Brune Brown. Speaking of daring greatly,
there's a phrase that we started using back in Austin
(34:58):
design days. I sort of recall when we first heard
it and I vaguely knew what it meant, but it's
the phrase of almost afoa, which we had. I knew
it kind of meant like come over here, maybe outside.
It's Spanish. I didn't necessarily know what it exactly translated
to until we looked it up one day and it
literally translates to let's go outside, let's go out. And
(35:21):
heard it first. We had a housekeeper come would come
over like once a week and help us out, and
she would say to kids, almost almost almost afoot and
she'd be like, let's go outside. She's kicking him out
of the house, which was something always grew up. My
dad always kind of kicked me out of the house
and my mom would had me pbnj's through the window
because I couldn't come back in until he came back in.
So it was always it's not like this glamorous we
(35:43):
had like I'm like I was drowning. Alicia would come
help me. Oh my gosh, she was so awesome. Helped
me at the house so I didn't go insane. But
she would always say when the kids were in the house,
she'd be like almost almost of f uh. And we
kind of heard that and it kind of stuck with us,
and then it kind of resonated over into route design
(36:06):
when we would be designing projects or trying to figure
something out on with pen and paper on the desk
or in the studio, and I remember the different guys
Lupi and Cordero and and some of the guys that
were helping us. They'd be like, almost almost almost a
funny let's go outside and just figure it out. Let's
just jump in, let's let's put the parts and pieces
together and just make it happen right then and there,
(36:27):
and and so that kind of became it was kind
of an undercurrent tone with everything we did. It was
just all right, almost funny, let's let's go outside and
just go figure this right. So it's become sort of
a tagline, and we even have shirts at the shop
now that's save almos Sefuita, because it's this idea. You know,
we're kind of in an outdoorsy town, so obviously vomo
fuita let's go outside. It could mean let's go to
(36:48):
the woods, let's go camping, let's go take a hike,
let's go ski, whatever it is. But to us, the
deeper meaning of vomo sefuita is let's go outside our
comfort zone, right, Let's see how far we can push
the envelope a little bit, like what can we dream
and try to make happen? And that's sort of been
the snowball effect of different things, like what if we
(37:10):
made our own hats and T shirts for the coffee shop?
And so what if we bought a coffee shop? What
if we moved to Colorado? What if we did all
these crazy things that we've kind of done over the right,
which didn't all fall in order. It wasn't like, well,
first we're going to move to Colorado, then we're going
to buy a coffee shop, then we're going to make
some T shirts and her or then our daughter's gonna
have surgery, and then your dad's gonna get cancer, and
(37:31):
then we're didn't plan those things of those are the
like speed bumps, right, And that's where almost was always
just like telling us just get outside and just do it.
Get outside your convenient comforts, risk those things that get
outside your every day get outside your box and try
new things and adventure. And so it kind of works there,
Like you said, being in the mountains, it's kind of
(37:52):
common sense let's go outside, but also as a life
motto of get outside your box, go outside you every day,
try something new. And so then one day we got
you got Let's be honest, you got the Instagram message
from someone on our route design company Instagram page, and
(38:13):
good thing they messaged you. Because you know me sometimes
go on a whole and not very engaging. Sometimes I yeah,
someone wants my attention. Okay, you want to talk to me? Yeah,
And I'm like, oh, maybe you take me you know,
a few months to respond for any listener, what people
(38:33):
like this person want on the other side of this request.
So but you got an Instagram Instagram message saying like something,
Hey have y'all like ever thought out doing a TV show?
We're like, no, Well, I mean the funny thing is
people had approached you as a design show concept potential
(38:55):
a couple other times over the years we've had the
business almost twenty sixteen years whatever it is, So I mean,
it's come up a couple of times that never went anywhere.
In part some one time it felt really shady and
I was like, I don't think we need this in
our life. So, but this particular lady was a producer.
It felt I don't know. She was just warm and
(39:17):
kind and inviting, and we started some conversations. We took
the risk and I was like, Okay, let's see where
this goes. And everything in me wanted to no. No,
We've kind of walked down this road before with someone else.
It's probably not going to go anywhere. It's probably nothing,
and we should just say no because we need to
(39:38):
protect ourselves from it going nowhere and wasting time and
different things like that. So, but wet the conversation, conversation going.
And if you know Been, he's really good at that.
He's all about conversation, like everything is. It's a to
be continued conversation. I love language for all you listener
(40:00):
his words of affirmation. She's really hitting it right now.
Thank you? Oh is that you like that? Okay? Yeah,
I'm not as good as giving words of affirmation because
my love language is acts of service. So I would
like to do things in some way shape for make coffee,
I make the bed, I make fire, make the bed. Okay, well,
(40:20):
make coffee, make bed, make fire. That's like our mornings,
we start the day off. For you. It is subjects
so awesome. Anyway, is there's this crazy thing we're doing
right now after two years, after two years of conversation,
talking to my life through it, zoom calls holding hands, therapy, therapy,
(40:45):
um ranch waters, lots of coffee, espresso plus tequila has
kind of been our thing going through all this. But
now we're filming a show. We can't say a lot
about it. We can't talk about it. We can't name
names or places or things or all that. But where
Christie and I, which definitely wasn't in the plan. It
(41:06):
wasn't Hey, well, first we're going to move to Colorado,
and then we're going to buy a coffee shop and
then we're going to film a TV show like that
was definitely not in the plan. But I think it's
a testament to this idea that life will just stay
interesting if you keep doing the next right step. But
there will be gaps, there will be setbacks, there will
be all the things, and sometimes you're in the middle
(41:27):
of it and can't see through it, but you will
get to the other side. There's been a lot, and
everything you say yes to means you say no to
something else, and so it's good to have that kind
of barometer of you can't just do every next right thing.
You really have to evaluate. You gotta talk, you gotta
you gotta work with each other. And yeah, Christine are
very different, but we talk a lot. We make fire
(41:50):
and have coffee every morning, and that's our that's kind
of our quiet time to keep ourselves aligned. But the
whole make fire, it's make bet, that's right, That's how
this designer keeps callouses on his hands. So but the
whole volmost of what kind of you know, get outside
your comfort zone, get outside you every day, try new things,
(42:11):
the next right thing. But also no on everything you
say yes to, who means you say no to something else.
But we also kind of have our in our coffee shop.
We kind of we have some apparel that we've been launching.
Super Soft launched just kind of playing with it. But
we called it Filled and Far and Filled and Far
comes from a scripture that we were kind of inspired by.
He will provide for the lilies of the field and
(42:32):
do far more abundantly than you can ever imagine. And
so when you trust and take those valmost of what
a moments and you stand on the ledge and you
look over the cliff and you look at where you
can jump to. Sometimes unknown, but you just know it's
the next right thing, and so you jump. And how
much more would he provide for the lilies of the
field and do far more abundantly than you can imagine?
(42:53):
And again where we are. Yeah, it's a combination of
two verses. But it's kind of been just what keeps
driving us. And it doesn't mean that everything is right.
Sometimes you have to peel back and back up and
and started doing that didn't not work whatsoever. Yeah, so,
but it's really fun. Right now we're filming the show.
It's every couple of weeks, this crew. It's kind of
(43:15):
for one show. Um, the crew has been just the
guy who mikes you up in films or is listening
to things all the time. I really think they're also
therapists on the side, because like every time he's putting
my little microphone on, he'll be like, you're doing a
great job. Listen, listen. I really that really came across
really well, and just you know, and he's like in
(43:37):
your ear in the head camera guy. His name has
been also, which is so fun. We've got all these
bands but and we don't know where it's going to go.
But it's a fun story. And that's what I've sort
of learned from YouTube, and it's like, Okay, this could
crash and burn and go nowhere, but at the end
of the day, it'll be a fun story. And they're
really letting our family be a part of it. We've
(43:58):
done breakfast scenes at the house, and we've done fishing
scenes on the river fishing. I had my Brad Pitt
moment on the river then, is right, that's his favorite movie.
A river runs through it, and so he's had this
moment where they were filming me fly fishing. You essentially
think it's a fly fishing if I could have died
and gone and I would have been good. You know
(44:19):
I've done You're basically Brad Pitt. We know that. Yeah,
so I think we need to wrap it up. Yeah,
but all that to say, have fun, take risk almost
of what I trust in it. Sometimes you have to
back up sometimes, but you have to do it. And
life comes with failures and comes with death. We've had
a saying in our marriage, Um, you know over our
(44:40):
almost twenty years or now twenty years of marriage that
you have multiple marriages. Um, just depends have it with
the same person or not. Yeah, we heard it said
once by someone, it's like every married person will have
multiple marriages, and I was like, you know, and then
you know, because I know that does happen, but they said,
and some times it will be with the same person.
(45:03):
So it's okay to like regroup, to like reset, like
if you hit a rock bottom, rebuild from that, use
those ashes and raise them up into something better. Exactly.
Been an Amy, been there with us, We've been through it.
That's what families for. And you stay together and you
fight together, and like you said, you rise up from
(45:25):
the ashes and almost get out there. Good out and
do something fun, have fun, adventure on and see where
life takes you. Good job, bab Man. Thanks for listening
to us Ramble. I hope we did okay with these
things podcast. It's about time. I'm telling you older sister
time finally, So okay, bye guy,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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