Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!! Today’s quote is: “Never suppress a generous thought!” (thank you to listener Sara for sending that). After discussing how we can all ignore simple gestures that come to mind at times…Amy shares emails from listeners: Melissa (about baking with kids + an awesome cake recipe!) and Samantha (about how she did her dissertation on gratitude because of the podcast, which is just SO COOL!!!) Amy then talks about her movie role and read something powerful that @cthagod posted on Instagram:
You’re right,
I was…but I’m not any longer.
I did…but I don’t anymore.
I decided…but I changed my mind.
The world calls it evolution.
The Scripture calls it sanctification.
Another great term for it is GROWTH.
You don't have to explain or apologize for it. EVER
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Please send emails for the 5th thing to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
ShopEspwa.com for all items that support Haiti!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Happy Tuesday. I'm Amy and I'm Kat, and welcome to
the fifth Thing. Today's quote comes to us from a
listener email, So I'm gonna go ahead and just read
the email right off to that because she shares an
awesome quote, and then we can we can talk about things.
Hey Amy, Hey Kat. I'm trying to live by and
lean into this quote that I've heard many times. I'm
(00:25):
not sure where it's from, but it's super simple and
can have a big impact if we actually do what
it suggests. Here's the quote, never suppress a generous thought,
She goes, I'm trying to live it. It's as easy
as smiling at someone, grabbing the door for a person
behind you, sending a positive text, making a special meal
(00:45):
for your family just because, leaving a note in your
kids lunch box, picking up the kitchen because you know
your partner would appreciate it, etcetera. The list goes on
and on. I think it can have double impact, both
for the person doing the generous thing, listening to the
little voice and following through, and then also for the
people that the kind act or word was meant for. Anyway,
(01:06):
I just love it, so I wanted to share it.
With y'all love Sarah. She started listening and spokene and
she's still a loyal listener in Arizona. So shout out Sarah,
and thank you for that quote of never suppress a
generous thought. And she shared more in the email that
I won't get into reading the whole thing, but she
had an ask for her sister in law and this
(01:29):
whole little care package idea that she had, and she
said that she sat on the idea for like a
week because she didn't know if she should reach out
an email about it. But then she thought, well, hey,
I'm just gonna shoot my shot, see what happens, because
this is a generous thought idea that I have and
it would involve like a little care package from you know,
splaw and four things. And I saw the email and
I was like, oh, that's doable. And I love that
(01:51):
she was thinking of this person in her life and
how they might be really blessed by this. But she
was the one that had the generous thought idea and
she suppressed it for week, but then finally decided to
send the email. And I think sometimes we maybe think
of someone or we maybe have an idea and we're
like I don't really know will they really care should
I send that note or will it really matter? Will
(02:12):
this make a difference? Or yeah, should I get that
door for someone who really cares? But that's us suppressing
those thoughts. So I've never heard that quote. I mean,
she said she's heard it multiple times, and you know
it is it's super simple, never suppressed. A generous thought
makes me think too of Pimp and Joy and how
that was born, and that's just about yeah, just spreading
joy in simple ways. But this like almost takes it
(02:35):
a step further of like reminding you if you're having
that thought, it's for a reason. It really could benefit
you and the other person, and if you suppress it,
you're just tucking away opportunity to show kindness to someone.
Both well, and I was thinking as you're reading that,
when I think, the word generous feels big to me.
So at first time, like a generous thought or a
(02:56):
generous thing would be like an extravagant whatever. But that's
saying like, if you see somebody and you hold the
door open for them, that will actually make a difference.
And I think that's something that I don't comprehend, like
picking up a room in your house because it would
make your partner happy, Like that makes a big deal.
And I think generous things as like big huge, I
(03:19):
cooked you this meal from scratch, or I sent a
package across the world to this person, or I don't
need this amount of money when it gets to be
little okay. So I have a confession of suppressing a
generous thought that was very simple. We were on our
way to church and pulled up to a corner and
I saw a homeless man. And I know, I know
that a smile is worth everything, but my instant thought
(03:42):
was like, oh, I wish I had some cash or
like a little goodie bag or something, and then I
would feel like I could, you know, have contact with him,
So instead I kind of looked down and I'm awkward.
But I have had my friend Stephen, founder of Home
Street Home. He's been on the podcast multip times. He
comes over to my house for dinner. I know him
(04:03):
well and I have learned from him smiling is free
and a smile. When he was homeless, some man gave
him a smile and it like literally changed his life.
So like, I need to smile at people anywhere, but
especially homeless people that could use that type of interaction,
and just because I didn't have anything to offer him,
I did have my smile, and I guess I was
(04:25):
bummed that I didn't have something else. So I looked
down and in my head, I was like, I should
just smile or roll down my window and say hi.
But then the light turned green and I was like off.
So I feel like in that moment, that was an
example of me suppressing a generous thought. And this is
me proclaiming that, yes, nine times out of ten, I
hope I smile at the homeless guy. But I still
(04:45):
have those. Even though I've had real honest conversations with
Stephen and I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing,
sometimes I still don't even listen to the thoughts that
I'm having that I know that our right thing to
do when who gets mad or has an ill respe
wants to somebody smiling at them or holding the door
or like complimenting them. No nobody ever happened, So what's
(05:05):
the worst that could happen? Literally? Nothing? Nothing? Okay, So
I want to switch gears to an Instagram post that
I saw that I d m to you Cat and
you were like, thank you so much for sending that
to me. That's a story that I knew a long
time ago, but I hadn't heard of it when I
read the post. I've never heard this story. So I'm
gonna go ahead and let you talk about where you
(05:27):
first heard it and why it's impactful for you. Do
you want me to read it and then read him
share it? Okay? So I'm gonna read it first for
all and then Cavill share her thoughts. So Sissy Golf
posted this and it's titled autobiography in five chapters. Chapter one,
I walked down the street. There is a deep hole
in the sidewalk. I fall in. It isn't my fault.
(05:47):
It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter two,
I walked down the same street. There is a deep
hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the
same place. But it doesn't my fault. It still takes
a long time to get out. Chapter three, I walked
down the same street. There is a deep hole in
the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in.
(06:09):
It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where
I am it is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter four, I walked down the same street. There is
a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter five, I walked down another street. Porsha Nelson, I
love how you just read that. Yeah, it's a yeah,
(06:32):
it's a little point short story point situation. And I
had never seen that, and then so I just yeah,
quickly shot you over the Instagram post and you were like, oh,
that's a good one. I'm glad that you also sent
that to me, because before I read through the whole thing,
I thought this was just like a story that people
passed around. There wasn't an author. So I'm glad that
I got to see that, like this actually was somebody's poem.
(06:54):
But I heard it probably like ten years ago when
I was an intern at a treatment center. One of
the therapists that I was working with told that story
in a group. This was when I was working with
addicts and a lot of people that had a lot
of trauma and people that were trying to rebuild their lives,
and that was life changing, I think for some of
them to hear, but it also impacted me in my
(07:16):
own story and the things that I have been struggling
with and repeating, and I like where I think it's
like the second chapter of the third chapter where it's
like it's still not my fault, and then the next
one is like, it's my fault now, Like I'm continuing
to perpetuate this behavior and I know better, but it's
a habit and I just think it's a good illustration
and it offers hope at the end. There is another way,
(07:37):
and as long as you're you know, when you're aware,
you have to be aware that you're going down the
same street with the whole I like it because for me,
it's like a shame. It's almost like a shame reducer.
So this is something that happens, and eventually you will
find your way, and each time you get a little
better time by time. The first time you fall into that,
like the first time we do something that doesn't work,
(07:57):
we might try it again and then we're like, oh
my gosh, I knew this wasn't gonna work, but it
takes a second to actually register that. So eventually you'll
get there. But I think it takes the rush out
of like fixing our problems right away too. But you know,
Einstein's definition of insanity doing the same thing over and
over again and accepting different results. And I mean we've
all been there. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm like, okay,
(08:21):
So anyway, Sissy go off. Thank you so much for that.
I thought that that was just so good. I thought
I was like sharing something new, groundbreaking with cat. But hey,
you learned I forgot about it. Yeah, I totally forgot
about it. So I have another email from Melyssa in Dallas.
(08:46):
She said, Hey, Amy, love all the podcast to the
past few years and recently started binging all of the
Bobby Bones Show podcasts. I want to challenge you to
enjoy baking and cooking with your kids. My daughters like
to put on cute a friends and bake with me often.
I strongly believe that putting the ingredients out before energetic
kids start to help and finding simple recipes like from
(09:09):
Pioneer Woman or Live Well Baked often will help you
learn to love it. I think y'all would love the
Pioneer Woman Holidays cookbook. Here's a link to a simple
birthday cake recipe that is much better than fun fetty
and reminds me of your favorite milk bar cake. Just
add organic sprinkles, and the website she shared just so
y'all know in case anybody else wants to try this out,
(09:31):
it's live Well Bake Often dot com slash fun Fetty
sugar cookie Cake, which sounds amazing. And then she also
said Cat that she's obsessed with the high pitch thank
you and the giggle sessions with you Cat, and then
she ended it by saying, I hope you have the
day you're supposed to have. Smiley face Melissa from Dallas,
and I just love this email so much because I
(09:53):
feel so known, like she knows our sayings, she's here
for it, she knows my favorite milk bar cake. And
she's also not afraid to just tell me. Do this
with your children. I highly encourage it. I really don't
like baking them still be a really big stretch, but
I think what I have to keep in mind is
(10:14):
my kids do enjoy it, so I gotta suck it up,
get some cute aprons and take one for the team. Maybe,
And it seems like it can be enjoyable. And let
me tell you, I am obsessed with the Pioneer Woman.
I loved her cookbooks forever. But my sister is a
big Pioneer Woman fan. My dad when he was alive,
he loved cooking from her recipes. Her cinnamon rolls are
(10:34):
hands down the best cinnamon rolls in all of the land.
Don't sleep on them, they are so good. Have you
never had a pioneer woman's cinnamon role? No? But I
don't know why I can say cinnamon roll I got
really exciting. We think my mom makes the best cinnamon
role I've ever I don't know. I don't know what's
the Is it her recipes scratch and then the icing
(10:55):
is like cream cheese icing? Is that how hers are? Well?
Pioneer woman? She makes a coffee, I sing, I don't know.
Maybe do you make the Pioneer Woman once and I'll
have my mom make hers and we'll have a bake off. Okay,
is your mom's recipe like her very own or what
if you find out she got it from the Pioneer Woman?
I think maybe she got it from a cookbook from
like thirty years ago. Okay, well, so it's not her
(11:17):
own recipe. I know there's this one recipe I totally
thought my mom had come up with, and then I
found it in a cookbook. O cool, cool, I don't
know that my mom makes up her any of her
own baking recipes. But then in my head the hers, well,
I mean, I think we grew out that way thinking.
I mean, my mom has a cheesecake. It's called Judy's cheesecake.
She served it at my dad's restaurant in the eighties,
like it was on the menu as Judy's Cheesecake. And
(11:40):
I still encounter people that ate at that restaurant in
Austin it was called Christopher's back in the day that
rave about my mom's cheesecake. And I mean, I says,
all right, is I I just have not a big
cheese cattle person and like the crust like nuts, but
also a lot of sugar and graham cracker situate Asian.
But it was phenomenal for what it is. Cheesecakes just
(12:04):
not my favorite cake situation. What's yours carrot cake? I
love carroc Okay, everybody thinks that's so weird. I my
mom also has a really good carrot cake. And it's
not her carrot cake because it's from a cook book,
but it's hers. It's her carrot cake so good it's
like pineapple on it. No listen, it's crushed pineapple. It's
so good. It makes it moist and don't make that face. Okay.
(12:26):
So last year I was gifted pineapple bread. Have you
ever had that? I don't know that I want that? Okay,
Well let me tell you. I thought it sounded disgusting too,
But it's basically bread, sugar, pineapple, maybe like eggs or something.
But you whip it into this baking dish and then
you just bake it and it's pineapple bread. And it
was so good. Wait, you take bread. I don't know
(12:49):
how you do it. I just know when she told
me about it, and then she was like, I'm gonna
bring you all some. So she brought some from my
whole family and we all ate it. We thought it
was amazing, and then we left the leftovers on top
of the stove. And then while we were gone Caa,
my dog jumped onto the stove and it was in
a glass pirates dish. Broke the dish on the floor everywhere.
(13:10):
We came home to the entire dish being eaten, including
part of the actual dish, and then there was blood everywhere.
If we didn't know if she cut her paw or
her tongue or her lips like I don't know where
she was breathing from maybe, And I was freaking out,
do we need to take her to the vet because
she just take glass? And I thought, oh my gosh,
(13:31):
if she has to go to the bathroom and she
starts like glass starts coming out of her body, like
that's gonna hurt. She's fine. Never was like taking her
to the emergency room and she was fine. We had
recently spent a lot on VET bills like the unrelated
to that, and so we really were like should we
(13:51):
should we? Like, fine, surely she'll be okay, like just
a little bit of blood, it's not a mess. But
it turned out to be okay. Is she still here?
And she's still here, so thank goodness that worked out. Obviously,
if anything symptoms started to pop up, we would one
hundred persent and take her to the ved. So I
don't need like Peter to send me an email or something,
(14:13):
but Melissa from Dallas, thank you for the encouragement and
the tips, and I will make note of take a note,
I will think about it. Next email is from a
doctor like PhD Dr Samantha Evans. Hey, Amy, I just
wanted to say thanks for spreading your message about the
power of gratitude. After being a loyal listener to your
(14:36):
podcast starting in two thousand nineteen, shout out once a
long time, I decided, well, I mean, it depends on
what you mean by a long time, but I think
the podcast only started in almost the beginning. I decided
to try out gratitude journaling. Since January one, I have
written four things that I am grateful for every day
(14:58):
and it has been life changing for me, so much
so that I decided to use gratitude practice as the
focus of my dissertation. My research involved an eight week
intervention for early childhood teachers. Using morning meditation and afternoon
gratitude practices. The teachers decrease their stress levels, increased their hope,
(15:18):
built better relationships with their students, and created more positive
classroom environments. It was incredible. I successfully defended my dissertation
on March two and will be graduating with my PhD
from the University of Oklahoma on May t Thank you
for spreading your message and sparking joy in the hearts
of so many Because of your message, I can do
(15:39):
the same thing for many teachers. Sincerely, Dr Samantha Evans.
That'sh sorry, that's for you. Dr Evans. That is so cool.
I can't believe that. That's one of those things where
sometimes like why am I even talking into a microphone,
But it's like, oh, well, Samantha decided after listening to
this podcast and hearing us talk about gratitude so much,
(16:00):
that that was going to be the focus of her dissertation.
And I'm so thankful that that was the results. Look
at me practicing gratitude here. I am thankful for you
sharing with me that this is something that had a
positive impact for eight weeks on teachers and hopefully they'll
continue to do the practice, the morning meditation, the afternoon gratitude.
(16:21):
I love it. That's so cool that you inspired research. Well,
I mean it's not me, it's the pod, like the
whole community, the podcast and really the four Things. I mean,
it's the Four Things podcast. But we started doing it
because Barry and I came up with the Four Things
Gratitude journal, And you don't have to have the journal
to participate. We were very clear about that. We were
excited about the journal and to sell it and to
(16:41):
benefit Haiti, But if you couldn't afford the journal, or whatever.
You could just get any notebook anywhere and write down
four things that you're thankful for. And then my guests
that come on, that's something I have them do, is
share four things they are thankful for. I just don't
like hearing like, yeah, yeah, you're trying to avoid a
company that. Yeah, but that's okay, Okay, I can't say anything.
(17:13):
I can't say anything. I was about to say something,
but I can't say anything. But I'll okay, I'll say that.
You know, last week I was in l A filming
the movie, and I feel like you kind of just
said one of my lines. I said that about accepting
a compliment. Okay, okay, so you're giving this like a
little bit of your character way, Well, I'm playing myself,
(17:36):
but I wouldn't call it a pivotal role. They called
it a pivotal scene. Okay, because my role is one
small spot like towards the end. But without your role,
they've pivotal scene in the movie. Well, they said they
could have gotten any actress, oh my gosh. But then
they decided having a real I Heart radio person in
(17:56):
the country world would make it more real, and they
wanted it to be a woman. Because the other person
in the scene is a girl, and they wanted it
a powerful like women supporting women, encouraging women moment, So
it wouldn't worked if it was like a guy in
radio and like, yeah, so I wonder if your character
is trying to help somebody else accept compliments right now,
(18:18):
I wonder. I don't know what I can say, but
when you said that, I was like, that sounds familiar,
and then I was like, oh, yeah, interesting, so that
I don't know the details of, like exactly when the
movie's coming out. They are wrapping up final production, Like
one of the things I filmed was like the very
final thing that they were doing. So stay tuned. Well,
(18:40):
when it does come out, we'll have a whole watch party,
have a watch party, and then everyone that listens to
this podcast, please watch the movie, download, stream it, watch it,
leave reviews like Wow, that Amy girl and that one
scene Ane minds a bathroom scene, I'm in a bathroom. Yeah, well,
(19:09):
we'll see. Maybe they'll edit it. I don't know, maybe
maybe I get cut. Who knows, and everybody watches a
movie and you never show up. Everybody, Wait a second,
I'm confused, where's Amy Brown? Well, I'll keep y'all posted. Obviously,
if I get cut from the movie, I'll know and
I will say, hey, guys, remember that movie of saying
you had to watch? You don't have to anymore. But
(19:31):
I think it's gonna be good. It's still gonna be
good because it's like the kind of movie I'm totally into.
It's like my thing, Like I love these kinds of movies,
and I will definitely be watching. I want to pull
up something, speaking of Instagram, that Charlemagne the God had posted. He's,
you know, one of her favorite hip hop people that
(19:51):
we love to quote all the time. He's the host
of a show based out of New York. But actually,
now that I'm reading his Instagram, iiO his name is Leonard,
but his handle is See the God, and he's an
entrepreneur and for business increase you can contact. He doesn't
really have his description of how he defines himself, but
(20:12):
he does more than just radio. He's like and he's
just very smart. But he put up this post. His
caption was energy that I'm on forever because again I
think I've shared with you all. You have heard me
talk about him before. He's evolved and changed a lot,
and he's not ashamed of his growth. He's not ashamed
of his past, but he's more like, Hey, I'm growing
and moving forward, like keep up, but I'm doing everything
(20:33):
I can to be the best version of me. So
if you knew me being anything else, and you're still
trying to put me in that hole or that box, like,
I don't have time for that anymore. So his comment
was energy, I'm on forever, and this was what he
typed in the actual post. You're right, I was, but
I am not any longer. I did, but I don't anymore.
(20:54):
I decided, but I changed my mind. The world calls
it evolution. The script or calls it sanctification. Another great
term for it is growth. You don't have to explain
or apologize for it ever. Amen. I just thought someone
might need to hear that. I just love the way
you mean. You can insert what it is for you.
(21:15):
But yeah, I was x y Z, but I'm not
any longer. And I did do x y Z, but
I don't anymore. And I decided, but I changed my mind.
That right there was powerful because you have every right
to change your mind. And I don't know why. That's
one that we struggle with so much. Can I I
would like to say something because I love that post
(21:37):
and the initial The first thing I thought of when
you were reading that is I have struggled a lot
in my life with being very like self conscious about
people who knew me when I was like fifteen years
younger than I am now, and then who I am now,
and I get very self conscious about people not knowing
that I am different, and that's a whole thing. But
then it hit me. One of the things that happens,
(22:00):
and I see happening over and over and over again
in the media is people pulling up whoever it is,
a celebrity, influencer, whatever they're old messaging, maybe old tweets
that they liked, or old tweets that they actually tweeted,
or pictures from when they were like ten, not ten,
(22:20):
maybe like and just younger, and then talling them out
as if that's them now. Instead of looking at it
and being like, Wow, they've changed, it's like, look who
you used to be. It's so horrible, and I just
get I'm getting kind of sick of seeing that. It's
scary to me. Well yeah, I mean, but it's also
this reminder of what I try to talk to my
kids about It's like stuff is online now forever, you know,
(22:41):
and I just remind them think long and hard, because
this is something that could be out there forever. But
also things they do post now or in the next
five years who knows, Yeah, ten fifteen years after that,
and I'd be like, why did I put that up?
And it's not like it was anything crazy, but hopefully
they've evolved and hopefully they're different. And I don't think
it has to be even from ten or fifteen years ago.
(23:01):
Like I still struggle with some of this stuff, like
for myself from last year or things I know where
I'm working on and I'm evolving, but I still I
don't know in my head kind of think, but this
person knows me is that? And that like I did
this to that person or and then I get all
wrapped up in that, my thoughts get all mushy, entangled up,
(23:22):
and then it just gets overwhelming and I'm like, maybe
that is who I am. And then it's this whole
self fulfilling prophecy thing that we can all do to ourselves.
That's why this spoke to me so much, and it
was so powerful that it's like, yeah, even if it
was who you were yesterday and it's not who you're
striving to be today, Like that is enough. You're allowed
to change your mind at any moment. Yeah, and we
(23:43):
as a collective group of people need to let people
change their minds whenever they want, Yeah, or changing minds,
or let them grow in other ways, or know that
if they maybe they were one way before, but they're
working hard to try to break that in some way.
Sometimes it is it's literally could be a week later
and they have this aha moment where they're like, oh wow,
(24:06):
maybe it was just brought to their attention and they
realized they want to work on it, and they are like,
I have to remember that for myself. It's like, Okay,
I was, but I am no longer and this is
the direction I'm going on and I can get stuck
in that. But anyway, I could go on and on
and on. But again he handed that with you don't
have to explain or apologize for itever growth, evolution, sanctification,
(24:27):
whatever you want to call it. Boom, okay, um, any
final thoughts, cat, No, I think we should end on that. Okay,
We're gonna end on that. Charlomagne the God. Thank you
for this closure. Cat, Where can people find you? You
can find me on Instagram at at cat dot defata
and then also my podcast You Need Therapy. You can
find me there as well at You Need Therapy podcast. Yes,
(24:49):
where can we find you? At? Radio Amy? Thank you
for asking. You're welcome. Well that's my Instagram and then
I have radio amy dot com. But I have been
updating it at all lately. Maybe I will for my
movie if I get other acting gigs, I'll be like,
and then you'll have to re update it if you
get cut out of the movie. Yeah, true, but I
(25:09):
don't know. Maybe need to add the movie scene to
my website for my portfolio in case I want other
acting gigs. That's all so yeah, Radiobe dot com. That'll
honestly get you to anything, shop a squaw, anything, pimp
and joy my Amazon favorites page. If I am even
allowed back into my Amazon account. What. I've been locked
out for a few weeks now because I got hacked.
(25:31):
Then this whole thing, so it's actually saved me a
lot of money because I haven't been able to just
go on my phone and order whatever I want from Amazon.
So you know, take your on you. Yeah, jokes on
you Amazon. Thanks were locking me out. All you're doing
yourself is losing money. Thanks. Okay, well that is our episode.
Thank you? How do I know? How is that what
(25:52):
we say? And that's our show? Okay, thank you? Right, okay,
and that's our show, thank you. Okay, that was kind
of it was good, okay bye,
Happy Tuesday. I'm Amy and I'm Kat, and welcome to
the fifth Thing. Today's quote comes to us from a
listener email, So I'm gonna go ahead and just read
the email right off to that because she shares an
awesome quote, and then we can we can talk about things.
Hey Amy, Hey Kat. I'm trying to live by and
lean into this quote that I've heard many times. I'm
(00:25):
not sure where it's from, but it's super simple and
can have a big impact if we actually do what
it suggests. Here's the quote, never suppress a generous thought,
She goes, I'm trying to live it. It's as easy
as smiling at someone, grabbing the door for a person
behind you, sending a positive text, making a special meal
(00:45):
for your family just because, leaving a note in your
kids lunch box, picking up the kitchen because you know
your partner would appreciate it, etcetera. The list goes on
and on. I think it can have double impact, both
for the person doing the generous thing, listening to the
little voice and following through, and then also for the
people that the kind act or word was meant for. Anyway,
(01:06):
I just love it, so I wanted to share it.
With y'all love Sarah. She started listening and spokene and
she's still a loyal listener in Arizona. So shout out Sarah,
and thank you for that quote of never suppress a
generous thought. And she shared more in the email that
I won't get into reading the whole thing, but she
had an ask for her sister in law and this
(01:29):
whole little care package idea that she had, and she
said that she sat on the idea for like a
week because she didn't know if she should reach out
an email about it. But then she thought, well, hey,
I'm just gonna shoot my shot, see what happens, because
this is a generous thought idea that I have and
it would involve like a little care package from you know,
splaw and four things. And I saw the email and
I was like, oh, that's doable. And I love that
(01:51):
she was thinking of this person in her life and
how they might be really blessed by this. But she
was the one that had the generous thought idea and
she suppressed it for week, but then finally decided to
send the email. And I think sometimes we maybe think
of someone or we maybe have an idea and we're
like I don't really know will they really care should
I send that note or will it really matter? Will
(02:12):
this make a difference? Or yeah, should I get that
door for someone who really cares? But that's us suppressing
those thoughts. So I've never heard that quote. I mean,
she said she's heard it multiple times, and you know
it is it's super simple, never suppressed. A generous thought
makes me think too of Pimp and Joy and how
that was born, and that's just about yeah, just spreading
joy in simple ways. But this like almost takes it
(02:35):
a step further of like reminding you if you're having
that thought, it's for a reason. It really could benefit
you and the other person, and if you suppress it,
you're just tucking away opportunity to show kindness to someone.
Both well, and I was thinking as you're reading that,
when I think, the word generous feels big to me.
So at first time, like a generous thought or a
(02:56):
generous thing would be like an extravagant whatever. But that's
saying like, if you see somebody and you hold the
door open for them, that will actually make a difference.
And I think that's something that I don't comprehend, like
picking up a room in your house because it would
make your partner happy, Like that makes a big deal.
And I think generous things as like big huge, I
(03:19):
cooked you this meal from scratch, or I sent a
package across the world to this person, or I don't
need this amount of money when it gets to be
little okay. So I have a confession of suppressing a
generous thought that was very simple. We were on our
way to church and pulled up to a corner and
I saw a homeless man. And I know, I know
that a smile is worth everything, but my instant thought
(03:42):
was like, oh, I wish I had some cash or
like a little goodie bag or something, and then I
would feel like I could, you know, have contact with him,
So instead I kind of looked down and I'm awkward.
But I have had my friend Stephen, founder of Home
Street Home. He's been on the podcast multip times. He
comes over to my house for dinner. I know him
(04:03):
well and I have learned from him smiling is free
and a smile. When he was homeless, some man gave
him a smile and it like literally changed his life.
So like, I need to smile at people anywhere, but
especially homeless people that could use that type of interaction,
and just because I didn't have anything to offer him,
I did have my smile, and I guess I was
(04:25):
bummed that I didn't have something else. So I looked
down and in my head, I was like, I should
just smile or roll down my window and say hi.
But then the light turned green and I was like off.
So I feel like in that moment, that was an
example of me suppressing a generous thought. And this is
me proclaiming that, yes, nine times out of ten, I
hope I smile at the homeless guy. But I still
(04:45):
have those. Even though I've had real honest conversations with
Stephen and I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing,
sometimes I still don't even listen to the thoughts that
I'm having that I know that our right thing to
do when who gets mad or has an ill respe
wants to somebody smiling at them or holding the door
or like complimenting them. No nobody ever happened, So what's
(05:05):
the worst that could happen? Literally? Nothing? Nothing? Okay, So
I want to switch gears to an Instagram post that
I saw that I d m to you Cat and
you were like, thank you so much for sending that
to me. That's a story that I knew a long
time ago, but I hadn't heard of it when I
read the post. I've never heard this story. So I'm
gonna go ahead and let you talk about where you
(05:27):
first heard it and why it's impactful for you. Do
you want me to read it and then read him
share it? Okay? So I'm gonna read it first for
all and then Cavill share her thoughts. So Sissy Golf
posted this and it's titled autobiography in five chapters. Chapter one,
I walked down the street. There is a deep hole
in the sidewalk. I fall in. It isn't my fault.
(05:47):
It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter two,
I walked down the same street. There is a deep
hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again. I can't believe I'm in the
same place. But it doesn't my fault. It still takes
a long time to get out. Chapter three, I walked
down the same street. There is a deep hole in
the sidewalk. I see it there. I still fall in.
(06:09):
It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where
I am it is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter four, I walked down the same street. There is
a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
Chapter five, I walked down another street. Porsha Nelson, I
love how you just read that. Yeah, it's a yeah,
(06:32):
it's a little point short story point situation. And I
had never seen that, and then so I just yeah,
quickly shot you over the Instagram post and you were like, oh,
that's a good one. I'm glad that you also sent
that to me, because before I read through the whole thing,
I thought this was just like a story that people
passed around. There wasn't an author. So I'm glad that
I got to see that, like this actually was somebody's poem.
(06:54):
But I heard it probably like ten years ago when
I was an intern at a treatment center. One of
the therapists that I was working with told that story
in a group. This was when I was working with
addicts and a lot of people that had a lot
of trauma and people that were trying to rebuild their lives,
and that was life changing, I think for some of
them to hear, but it also impacted me in my
(07:16):
own story and the things that I have been struggling
with and repeating, and I like where I think it's
like the second chapter of the third chapter where it's
like it's still not my fault, and then the next
one is like, it's my fault now, Like I'm continuing
to perpetuate this behavior and I know better, but it's
a habit and I just think it's a good illustration
and it offers hope at the end. There is another way,
(07:37):
and as long as you're you know, when you're aware,
you have to be aware that you're going down the
same street with the whole I like it because for me,
it's like a shame. It's almost like a shame reducer.
So this is something that happens, and eventually you will
find your way, and each time you get a little
better time by time. The first time you fall into that,
like the first time we do something that doesn't work,
(07:57):
we might try it again and then we're like, oh
my gosh, I knew this wasn't gonna work, but it
takes a second to actually register that. So eventually you'll
get there. But I think it takes the rush out
of like fixing our problems right away too. But you know,
Einstein's definition of insanity doing the same thing over and
over again and accepting different results. And I mean we've
all been there. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I'm like, okay,
(08:21):
So anyway, Sissy go off. Thank you so much for that.
I thought that that was just so good. I thought
I was like sharing something new, groundbreaking with cat. But hey,
you learned I forgot about it. Yeah, I totally forgot
about it. So I have another email from Melyssa in Dallas.
(08:46):
She said, Hey, Amy, love all the podcast to the
past few years and recently started binging all of the
Bobby Bones Show podcasts. I want to challenge you to
enjoy baking and cooking with your kids. My daughters like
to put on cute a friends and bake with me often.
I strongly believe that putting the ingredients out before energetic
kids start to help and finding simple recipes like from
(09:09):
Pioneer Woman or Live Well Baked often will help you
learn to love it. I think y'all would love the
Pioneer Woman Holidays cookbook. Here's a link to a simple
birthday cake recipe that is much better than fun fetty
and reminds me of your favorite milk bar cake. Just
add organic sprinkles, and the website she shared just so
y'all know in case anybody else wants to try this out,
(09:31):
it's live Well Bake Often dot com slash fun Fetty
sugar cookie Cake, which sounds amazing. And then she also
said Cat that she's obsessed with the high pitch thank
you and the giggle sessions with you Cat, and then
she ended it by saying, I hope you have the
day you're supposed to have. Smiley face Melissa from Dallas,
and I just love this email so much because I
(09:53):
feel so known, like she knows our sayings, she's here
for it, she knows my favorite milk bar cake. And
she's also not afraid to just tell me. Do this
with your children. I highly encourage it. I really don't
like baking them still be a really big stretch, but
I think what I have to keep in mind is
(10:14):
my kids do enjoy it, so I gotta suck it up,
get some cute aprons and take one for the team. Maybe,
And it seems like it can be enjoyable. And let
me tell you, I am obsessed with the Pioneer Woman.
I loved her cookbooks forever. But my sister is a
big Pioneer Woman fan. My dad when he was alive,
he loved cooking from her recipes. Her cinnamon rolls are
(10:34):
hands down the best cinnamon rolls in all of the land.
Don't sleep on them, they are so good. Have you
never had a pioneer woman's cinnamon role? No? But I
don't know why I can say cinnamon roll I got
really exciting. We think my mom makes the best cinnamon
role I've ever I don't know. I don't know what's
the Is it her recipes scratch and then the icing
(10:55):
is like cream cheese icing? Is that how hers are? Well?
Pioneer woman? She makes a coffee, I sing, I don't know.
Maybe do you make the Pioneer Woman once and I'll
have my mom make hers and we'll have a bake off. Okay,
is your mom's recipe like her very own or what
if you find out she got it from the Pioneer Woman?
I think maybe she got it from a cookbook from
like thirty years ago. Okay, well, so it's not her
(11:17):
own recipe. I know there's this one recipe I totally
thought my mom had come up with, and then I
found it in a cookbook. O cool, cool, I don't
know that my mom makes up her any of her
own baking recipes. But then in my head the hers, well,
I mean, I think we grew out that way thinking.
I mean, my mom has a cheesecake. It's called Judy's cheesecake.
She served it at my dad's restaurant in the eighties,
like it was on the menu as Judy's Cheesecake. And
(11:40):
I still encounter people that ate at that restaurant in
Austin it was called Christopher's back in the day that
rave about my mom's cheesecake. And I mean, I says,
all right, is I I just have not a big
cheese cattle person and like the crust like nuts, but
also a lot of sugar and graham cracker situate Asian.
But it was phenomenal for what it is. Cheesecakes just
(12:04):
not my favorite cake situation. What's yours carrot cake? I
love carroc Okay, everybody thinks that's so weird. I my
mom also has a really good carrot cake. And it's
not her carrot cake because it's from a cook book,
but it's hers. It's her carrot cake so good it's
like pineapple on it. No listen, it's crushed pineapple. It's
so good. It makes it moist and don't make that face. Okay.
(12:26):
So last year I was gifted pineapple bread. Have you
ever had that? I don't know that I want that? Okay,
Well let me tell you. I thought it sounded disgusting too,
But it's basically bread, sugar, pineapple, maybe like eggs or something.
But you whip it into this baking dish and then
you just bake it and it's pineapple bread. And it
was so good. Wait, you take bread. I don't know
(12:49):
how you do it. I just know when she told
me about it, and then she was like, I'm gonna
bring you all some. So she brought some from my
whole family and we all ate it. We thought it
was amazing, and then we left the leftovers on top
of the stove. And then while we were gone Caa,
my dog jumped onto the stove and it was in
a glass pirates dish. Broke the dish on the floor everywhere.
(13:10):
We came home to the entire dish being eaten, including
part of the actual dish, and then there was blood everywhere.
If we didn't know if she cut her paw or
her tongue or her lips like I don't know where
she was breathing from maybe, And I was freaking out,
do we need to take her to the vet because
she just take glass? And I thought, oh my gosh,
(13:31):
if she has to go to the bathroom and she
starts like glass starts coming out of her body, like
that's gonna hurt. She's fine. Never was like taking her
to the emergency room and she was fine. We had
recently spent a lot on VET bills like the unrelated
to that, and so we really were like should we
(13:51):
should we? Like, fine, surely she'll be okay, like just
a little bit of blood, it's not a mess. But
it turned out to be okay. Is she still here?
And she's still here, so thank goodness that worked out. Obviously,
if anything symptoms started to pop up, we would one
hundred persent and take her to the ved. So I
don't need like Peter to send me an email or something,
(14:13):
but Melissa from Dallas, thank you for the encouragement and
the tips, and I will make note of take a note,
I will think about it. Next email is from a
doctor like PhD Dr Samantha Evans. Hey, Amy, I just
wanted to say thanks for spreading your message about the
power of gratitude. After being a loyal listener to your
(14:36):
podcast starting in two thousand nineteen, shout out once a
long time, I decided, well, I mean, it depends on
what you mean by a long time, but I think
the podcast only started in almost the beginning. I decided
to try out gratitude journaling. Since January one, I have
written four things that I am grateful for every day
(14:58):
and it has been life changing for me, so much
so that I decided to use gratitude practice as the
focus of my dissertation. My research involved an eight week
intervention for early childhood teachers. Using morning meditation and afternoon
gratitude practices. The teachers decrease their stress levels, increased their hope,
(15:18):
built better relationships with their students, and created more positive
classroom environments. It was incredible. I successfully defended my dissertation
on March two and will be graduating with my PhD
from the University of Oklahoma on May t Thank you
for spreading your message and sparking joy in the hearts
of so many Because of your message, I can do
(15:39):
the same thing for many teachers. Sincerely, Dr Samantha Evans.
That'sh sorry, that's for you. Dr Evans. That is so cool.
I can't believe that. That's one of those things where
sometimes like why am I even talking into a microphone,
But it's like, oh, well, Samantha decided after listening to
this podcast and hearing us talk about gratitude so much,
(16:00):
that that was going to be the focus of her dissertation.
And I'm so thankful that that was the results. Look
at me practicing gratitude here. I am thankful for you
sharing with me that this is something that had a
positive impact for eight weeks on teachers and hopefully they'll
continue to do the practice, the morning meditation, the afternoon gratitude.
(16:21):
I love it. That's so cool that you inspired research. Well,
I mean it's not me, it's the pod, like the
whole community, the podcast and really the four Things. I mean,
it's the Four Things podcast. But we started doing it
because Barry and I came up with the Four Things
Gratitude journal, And you don't have to have the journal
to participate. We were very clear about that. We were
excited about the journal and to sell it and to
(16:41):
benefit Haiti, But if you couldn't afford the journal, or whatever.
You could just get any notebook anywhere and write down
four things that you're thankful for. And then my guests
that come on, that's something I have them do, is
share four things they are thankful for. I just don't
like hearing like, yeah, yeah, you're trying to avoid a
company that. Yeah, but that's okay, Okay, I can't say anything.
(17:13):
I can't say anything. I was about to say something,
but I can't say anything. But I'll okay, I'll say that.
You know, last week I was in l A filming
the movie, and I feel like you kind of just
said one of my lines. I said that about accepting
a compliment. Okay, okay, so you're giving this like a
little bit of your character way, Well, I'm playing myself,
(17:36):
but I wouldn't call it a pivotal role. They called
it a pivotal scene. Okay, because my role is one
small spot like towards the end. But without your role,
they've pivotal scene in the movie. Well, they said they
could have gotten any actress, oh my gosh. But then
they decided having a real I Heart radio person in
(17:56):
the country world would make it more real, and they
wanted it to be a woman. Because the other person
in the scene is a girl, and they wanted it
a powerful like women supporting women, encouraging women moment, So
it wouldn't worked if it was like a guy in
radio and like, yeah, so I wonder if your character
is trying to help somebody else accept compliments right now,
(18:18):
I wonder. I don't know what I can say, but
when you said that, I was like, that sounds familiar,
and then I was like, oh, yeah, interesting, so that
I don't know the details of, like exactly when the
movie's coming out. They are wrapping up final production, Like
one of the things I filmed was like the very
final thing that they were doing. So stay tuned. Well,
(18:40):
when it does come out, we'll have a whole watch party,
have a watch party, and then everyone that listens to
this podcast, please watch the movie, download, stream it, watch it,
leave reviews like Wow, that Amy girl and that one
scene Ane minds a bathroom scene, I'm in a bathroom. Yeah, well,
(19:09):
we'll see. Maybe they'll edit it. I don't know, maybe
maybe I get cut. Who knows, and everybody watches a
movie and you never show up. Everybody, Wait a second,
I'm confused, where's Amy Brown? Well, I'll keep y'all posted. Obviously,
if I get cut from the movie, I'll know and
I will say, hey, guys, remember that movie of saying
you had to watch? You don't have to anymore. But
(19:31):
I think it's gonna be good. It's still gonna be
good because it's like the kind of movie I'm totally into.
It's like my thing, Like I love these kinds of movies,
and I will definitely be watching. I want to pull
up something, speaking of Instagram, that Charlemagne the God had posted. He's,
you know, one of her favorite hip hop people that
(19:51):
we love to quote all the time. He's the host
of a show based out of New York. But actually,
now that I'm reading his Instagram, iiO his name is Leonard,
but his handle is See the God, and he's an
entrepreneur and for business increase you can contact. He doesn't
really have his description of how he defines himself, but
(20:12):
he does more than just radio. He's like and he's
just very smart. But he put up this post. His
caption was energy that I'm on forever because again I
think I've shared with you all. You have heard me
talk about him before. He's evolved and changed a lot,
and he's not ashamed of his growth. He's not ashamed
of his past, but he's more like, Hey, I'm growing
and moving forward, like keep up, but I'm doing everything
(20:33):
I can to be the best version of me. So
if you knew me being anything else, and you're still
trying to put me in that hole or that box, like,
I don't have time for that anymore. So his comment
was energy, I'm on forever, and this was what he
typed in the actual post. You're right, I was, but
I am not any longer. I did, but I don't anymore.
(20:54):
I decided, but I changed my mind. The world calls
it evolution. The script or calls it sanctification. Another great
term for it is growth. You don't have to explain
or apologize for it ever. Amen. I just thought someone
might need to hear that. I just love the way
you mean. You can insert what it is for you.
(21:15):
But yeah, I was x y Z, but I'm not
any longer. And I did do x y Z, but
I don't anymore. And I decided, but I changed my mind.
That right there was powerful because you have every right
to change your mind. And I don't know why. That's
one that we struggle with so much. Can I I
would like to say something because I love that post
(21:37):
and the initial The first thing I thought of when
you were reading that is I have struggled a lot
in my life with being very like self conscious about
people who knew me when I was like fifteen years
younger than I am now, and then who I am now,
and I get very self conscious about people not knowing
that I am different, and that's a whole thing. But
then it hit me. One of the things that happens,
(22:00):
and I see happening over and over and over again
in the media is people pulling up whoever it is,
a celebrity, influencer, whatever they're old messaging, maybe old tweets
that they liked, or old tweets that they actually tweeted,
or pictures from when they were like ten, not ten,
(22:20):
maybe like and just younger, and then talling them out
as if that's them now. Instead of looking at it
and being like, Wow, they've changed, it's like, look who
you used to be. It's so horrible, and I just
get I'm getting kind of sick of seeing that. It's
scary to me. Well yeah, I mean, but it's also
this reminder of what I try to talk to my
kids about It's like stuff is online now forever, you know,
(22:41):
and I just remind them think long and hard, because
this is something that could be out there forever. But
also things they do post now or in the next
five years who knows, Yeah, ten fifteen years after that,
and I'd be like, why did I put that up?
And it's not like it was anything crazy, but hopefully
they've evolved and hopefully they're different. And I don't think
it has to be even from ten or fifteen years ago.
(23:01):
Like I still struggle with some of this stuff, like
for myself from last year or things I know where
I'm working on and I'm evolving, but I still I
don't know in my head kind of think, but this
person knows me is that? And that like I did
this to that person or and then I get all
wrapped up in that, my thoughts get all mushy, entangled up,
(23:22):
and then it just gets overwhelming and I'm like, maybe
that is who I am. And then it's this whole
self fulfilling prophecy thing that we can all do to ourselves.
That's why this spoke to me so much, and it
was so powerful that it's like, yeah, even if it
was who you were yesterday and it's not who you're
striving to be today, Like that is enough. You're allowed
to change your mind at any moment. Yeah, and we
(23:43):
as a collective group of people need to let people
change their minds whenever they want, Yeah, or changing minds,
or let them grow in other ways, or know that
if they maybe they were one way before, but they're
working hard to try to break that in some way.
Sometimes it is it's literally could be a week later
and they have this aha moment where they're like, oh wow,
(24:06):
maybe it was just brought to their attention and they
realized they want to work on it, and they are like,
I have to remember that for myself. It's like, Okay,
I was, but I am no longer and this is
the direction I'm going on and I can get stuck
in that. But anyway, I could go on and on
and on. But again he handed that with you don't
have to explain or apologize for itever growth, evolution, sanctification,
(24:27):
whatever you want to call it. Boom, okay, um, any
final thoughts, cat, No, I think we should end on that. Okay,
We're gonna end on that. Charlomagne the God. Thank you
for this closure. Cat, Where can people find you? You
can find me on Instagram at at cat dot defata
and then also my podcast You Need Therapy. You can
find me there as well at You Need Therapy podcast. Yes,
(24:49):
where can we find you? At? Radio Amy? Thank you
for asking. You're welcome. Well that's my Instagram and then
I have radio amy dot com. But I have been
updating it at all lately. Maybe I will for my
movie if I get other acting gigs, I'll be like,
and then you'll have to re update it if you
get cut out of the movie. Yeah, true, but I
(25:09):
don't know. Maybe need to add the movie scene to
my website for my portfolio in case I want other
acting gigs. That's all so yeah, Radiobe dot com. That'll
honestly get you to anything, shop a squaw, anything, pimp
and joy my Amazon favorites page. If I am even
allowed back into my Amazon account. What. I've been locked
out for a few weeks now because I got hacked.
(25:31):
Then this whole thing, so it's actually saved me a
lot of money because I haven't been able to just
go on my phone and order whatever I want from Amazon.
So you know, take your on you. Yeah, jokes on
you Amazon. Thanks were locking me out. All you're doing
yourself is losing money. Thanks. Okay, well that is our episode.
Thank you? How do I know? How is that what
(25:52):
we say? And that's our show? Okay, thank you? Right, okay,
and that's our show, thank you. Okay, that was kind
of it was good, okay bye,
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