Amy and Kat respond to a voicemail from a listener who just found out she’s pregnant, but instead of excitement, she’s overwhelmed with doubts about being a good mom to the stress of a husband deploying and starting PA school…she’s in full ‘future tripping’ mode!! Their advice? WTW: Wait to Worry (a simple acronym with a powerful perspective that Amy got from her boyfriend!)
They also share an update from a listener who called in about the solo hike discussion, offering a reminder that some questions about your relationship might actually be support in disguise.
Reminder: fear often just means……you care!!
Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com
Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Kat Van Buren // @KatVanburen
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won home,
Amy and Cat gotcha Covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks,
do you.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Just follow an the spirit where it's all.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
The phone over, real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is Feeling things with.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our listener Q and
a episode.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat. And quick disclaimer before we
get into today's question that although I'm a therapist and
we're answering your questions and Amy is Amy and she's
gonna be answering your questions as well, this podcast is
not served as a replacement or a substitute for actual therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, we need a new thing other than just Amy
is Amy. You just be like, I'm I'm a therapist,
I'm doing this and I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Kat and Amy is also here with a human just
like you, with thoughts and feeling and radio girlsonality.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah I think, Yeah, you're the one giving the disclaimer,
Like I don't have to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Because true, I am just here like every other whatever
you wanted person on the internet. You could say whatever
you wanted and take my advice and you can't sue me.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, whereas I think you, I could lose my life
being the professional that you are. It's important to have
that disclaimer. It's is kind of funny when you're like, Hi, i'mkay,
I'm a licensed therapist, and Amy's Amy.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I don't want to leave you out.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
It's okay. I can be left out of that, like,
I'm okay. We could come up with something like you
have your spiel. I could come up with something that
I say like. You could be like ca, I'm a
license therapist, don't sue me. Take it with a grain
of salt. And I can be like Amy and I'm
just here and you can't sue me. Like I can
tell you whatever I want if you do it, if
it works, great, it doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Sorry, I guess somebody could sue you. But you can't
lose your license because you don't have one. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
That's what we say. I Amy and I have no licenses,
so I can say whatever and then you get to
do whatever, and I'll still be here even if your
life falls apart. But we're hoping that it doesn't, because
I think we both have life experience that we offer too,
like you're coming from a clinical standpoint and also a
personal standpoint like today we have. Well, it's not an email,
(02:23):
it's a voicemail. You know my favorite. I love when
y'all call. This is from a listener Mackenzie and I
reached out to her after we got the voicemail because
as you'll hear, when she starts talking, she's like, just
found out I'm pregnant. We haven't told anybody yet, and
I'm like, okay. So if we put this in couch talks,
what if Mackenzie's bff also listens to the show, or
(02:47):
what a cool way to find out to be Like
Mackenzie was that because we were playing her voice. We're
gonna play her voice in our very professional manner in
which Shannon hands me her phone and I play it
through the firophone. So we're gonna play Mackenzie from North Carolina.
This is a voice mail that she sent us, So
(03:08):
this is our question coming to us from Shannon's phone.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Hey, kat Amy, this is McKenzie calling from North Carolina.
Loved the show and I was just calling to get
some incise from you, guys. I recently found out that
I am pregnant. We haven't told anyone yet, but I'm
looking for some advice because I want to be super
excited and really lean in, but I'm having of our
(03:33):
time and letting fear take the first step, and a
lot of it just fear of not being a good mom,
sears giving verse in general, fear of what to come
because I'm starting PIA school in July, and my husband
is deploying because he's in the military, and we're just
gonna be in a very busy season when the baby's
(03:56):
gonna be born.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
So just calling to.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Get some advice. Friendy guys, Centiley talk it over. But
hope you guys think.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Thanks you guys.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Thanks McKenzie for that. And why are you smiling so many?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I just really wanted to say, Okay, I know you've
been the big fan of the voicemails, but I do
love the voicemails because that's so different than reading a
because I was reading a transcript of it and it
feels different than reading it right, which is like it's.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
The yeah, I know the email, Yes, the voicemail. It's
when hearing their voice is a different level of connection. Wow, yeah, deep,
which y'all can call us and leave us a voicemail.
Eight seven seven two O seven two seven seven is
the number, and you just leave us a message. And
(04:47):
before we get into answering Mackenzie's question, which I think
we both have thoughts on that, and something my boyfriend
shared with me recently that he learned from his dad
after his wife passed away, Like my boyfriend's wife passed
away and his dad gave him a little acronym, and
that's something I'm going to be sharing but something we
(05:08):
use in our relationship now. And I think Mackenzie will
appreciate the acronym and it's something maybe her and her
husband can do to each other. And he's in the military,
so you know, he loves a good acronym and they
can just like, you know, say the acronym to each
other and it might really help. Which I realized we
have another voicemail. I'm not going to play it. But
in speaking of feeling connected to listeners, Amber called and
(05:29):
left us a whole voicemail after she heard us talking
about our other listener that's hiking twelve hundred miles by
herself and she said that a lot of people just say,
what does your husband think about that? And Amber shared
a different perspective of like that she was in a
relationship where her husband wasn't that supportive, and like oftentimes
her friends knew to ask her that question so that
(05:51):
they knew how to support her and show up for her.
And listening to her voicemail about that, I think I
received it differently than I would have if she would
have just typed just an email, because more kind. Yeah,
like I heard her voice and like she even in
the in the transcript, like at the end, she's like,
you know, we hope that everyone has support in their relationship,
but unfortunately sometimes they do not. Anyways, love you guys, bye,
(06:14):
And just hearing her say that, I was like, Oh,
she was very respectful in sharing her view, and she
was representing a side that we didn't touch on, and
so I was very thankful to have Amber's perspective and
receiving that via voicemail and hearing her voice was helpful.
So otherwise, I mean, Amber, I would play that, but
then I have to go get Shannon's phone again and
(06:35):
bring it over. We don't have the technology for doing it.
Fancy schmancy yet, but you're right, there is a different
connection with hearing all's voices. So please call us. We
love it. Now, are you ready for the.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Acronym I've been waiting?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Okay, McKenzie, I am gonna give you this acronym and
maybe who knows, maybe you'll tattoo it on your body
and your babe.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Okay, w T w W let me guess what it means. Okay,
w TW And this is an acronym for when.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You're going through something hard, hard, you might and you're
what you're worried about things?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
What in the world?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
No, I'll watch. You're not gonna get it, Okay, wait
to worry? W TU, Well, eventually I know it. We're
couch Talks is a shorter episode, but wait to worry.
And I think that there was my husband's are my okay? Okay,
my boyfriends.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Do something to us now, Okay, you're so red right now.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
My my boyfriend's wife, when she had cancer, there was
a lot of like just the fear of her dying
and what that may look like and sort of seemed
inevitable at some point in the in the cancer journey.
And so I think sometimes my boyfriend get wrapped around Okay,
(08:05):
well what if this, this and this, and his dad
would say, let's wait to worry, Like, we actually don't
know that yet, so let's wait to worry. And so
now even in our relationship, me dating him being a widower,
and there's different things with blending our families. If we
are to get married one day, who knows. I'm casual
(08:25):
about that, no idea.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I haven't been thinking about it, never.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Even thought about it him being my husband, ever, I
would that would be stupid.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's crazy, yeah, crazy.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So I sometimes will have fear around the blending of
our kids and what that will look like in different
scenarios and what will we do here, and like our
houses and different relationships. Just gets too complicated. And then
I and he'll say, hey, WTW, and I'm like, you
know what, You're right, We're not even there yet, So
why am I worrying about something that hasn't even happened WTW.
(08:58):
And then we just we can sort of bring each
other back to the present moment with a simple WTW
because we know the importance of it. We've talked about it.
So with Mackenzie and her husband, if they can talk
through WTW, and what it means sometimes if one of
them happens to be spiraling for whatever which reason, given
all of in your feelings are totally valid. Mckenzi. By
(09:18):
the way, like, I think it's very normal to care
about the fact that you're about to bring a baby
into this world and your husband deploys, and are you
going to be a good mom and what is it
going to be? Like, I mean, I have a daughter
that just turned eighteen, and this is not going to
be great. Give you the warm fuzzies, but you're pretty
much just once you become a parent, you're worried the
(09:39):
rest of your life. But you got a wtw so
you don't let it take control, which would be sort
of like future tripping, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Also you saying once you have a kid, you're worried
the rest of your life because you always are going
to care about that child no matter what they're going through. Right,
you'd be worried about anything. And what did you just
say the future tripping? Yes, I was thinking we talked
about for voting Joy wh when I think we were
doing the gladness episode and how we do that when
(10:24):
good things happen because we're afraid a shoe is going
to drop. Something we didn't talk about is this term
that Brene Brown talks about dress rehearsing tragedy, which is
kind of what I hear a little bit of it.
We're worried about all these things and we're dressed rehearsing
this tragedy, but the tragedy hasn't happened yet. And actually
you can't do that because even if something happens and
(10:46):
something doesn't go as planned, you still have to go
through it. So doing a dress rehearsal actually doesn't make
it easier. More so you have to live it more
so you can care and you can have fear. I
think that's healthy. If you didn't have fear around being pregnant,
and I mean your husband's being deployed and you're going
(11:06):
to PA school, which I imagine is pretty hard.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, shut up, shut out.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, if you didn't have fear, that would be a
little concerning, because fear shows us that we care, and
healthy anxiety, there is a healthy amount of anxiety that
helps us pay attention to stuff and prepare. So if
you're worried about all these things, you can use it. Okay, Well,
I want to get some more information on that. I
want to learn about what the birth process is going
(11:33):
to be, Like, I want to see if there's any
extra things I should think about or look into. That's
okay to care. You don't need to follow every single
birthing expert on Instagram because that's probably information overload. I
think this is one of those things where it feels
like you have to be black or white. There is
a gray, healthy amount of fear that we can pay
(11:55):
attention to. That doesn't mean that we're also not excited.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, because you don't want the fear to to overshadow
the They can lift, they can both be there. But
she's like she said, I want to be super excited
and really lean in, but I'm having a hard time
letting fear take the first step. So accept the fear,
invite the fear to come alongside it can be there,
and also let the excitement come in and lean in.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I bet there already is. Yeah, I bet there is
excitement there and just are like, fear, give us like
a little bit of room come in and you guys
can hang out together.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
That's that song and everyone's posting it on social but
my son listens to it all the time. It's like
the anxiety anxiety, you know, and then someone comes up
dancing behind them, like yeah, yeah, it would be you know,
like you just kind of dancing. What are the words anxiety, anxiety?
That's more anxiety, yeah, anxiety anxiety. And then like maybe
(12:49):
you make that like your song and it's all good.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
It just it's there.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It comes up behind you and it's Sarah. I actually
don't know the exact meaning of that song, so maybe
it's not the best example, but the video is online
or cube when people do that and then someone comes
up behind them and they're they're the anxiety.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Your anxiety. One can be the excitement because I felt
like I heard some joy in her.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Oh yeah, I think that she is excited. You know,
I'm rewatching Sex in the City and Miranda is pregnant.
You've never watched Sex and the City. I just gave it. No,
this is a spoiler season four, and.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I had a good pregnant. I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I just have it on in the background when I'm
doing other things. But it's so funny. When I was
getting ready for work this morning, I had it on.
And this was an episode where she went to go
get a sonogram, and she finds out that she's having
a boy, and everyone's so excited, like, oh my gosh,
and she's just sitting there and so finally she just
fakes to the technician.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Like, oh yay, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I don't know if she would have been excited if
it was a girl or boy. I think, just like
being pregnant in general, she wasn't planning on it. She
got better spoiler I know, sorry, her ex boyfriend. They
hooked it anyway, Oh he owns a bar. Isn't she married?
In the show Miranda, she ends up marrying Steve spoiler
some of it. I get confused when the movies came
(14:07):
out because then some of it happened in the movie.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Or are they connecting the same storyline?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, it's all connected. And then you know they had
the also the show after, which was when.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
He died on the peloton spoiler.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
I feel like that is a spoiler because that that
is pretty recent.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Okay, it's called just like that. If the movie's been
out for what ten years?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
If that wasn't the movie, that was the show. No,
but the part you're talking about just came out like
two years ago. Yes, No, I swear Shannon, Google.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It now play did the show come out?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Fact?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
So if you had that many years to watch it,
I don't feel bad two years if it was like
a show that's playing right now, spoiler, if it's the
Karen Reid trial, spoiler that's happening right now.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Wow, I can't believe you just give that away anyway.
Let's let's just let's just it's just like that, just
like that, and just like that, it's the follow up
to sex one.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Somebody's like, I've never listening to the podcast again, you
ruined the show that I'm watching. I'm sorry. Also was
all over Instagram and defense it. I am but I
also don't feel bad.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
So I just we're gonna get your license taken away.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Don't you report it to the boord? Like, what do
you have to say for yourself? You told me of
just seccess the city on your podcast, And now all
of these clients have a disorder. They can't trust any
they no, they can't listen to podcasts anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah. Well, back to Miranda faking her excitement, It just
made me think of that, of like how she had
to fake it, and then later she was telling her
friends and her friends were even more excited than she was,
and she said, here, you know, I want to be
super excited. And that's what Miranda was saying to her friend.
She's like, what is wrong with me? Like why am
I not feeling this? Why did I have to basically
(15:48):
fake my excitement to the sonogram person? And everybody's just
on their own journey. You may not feel Also, sometimes
I think we're led to like believe, like as women,
that we're just supposed to like savor being pregnant and
love it. And some people really do love it, but
also some people's experiences they actually really hate it and
(16:10):
they it's miserable. So just also be willing to know
that I know you're in the early stages, but you
may hate it. So helpful, however, it's gonna eventually give
you a little package that's gonna be so amazing when
it comes out, we'll go back and baby yeah, because
(16:31):
I don't know if it's a boy or call some
picturing like a little stork.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I think that's a good point though, that some people
aren't well, some people aren't excited that they get pregnant.
So this person is sounding like she wants to be
excited so I don't think that's her story, but not
everybody wants all of that, So there's room for.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
All of it. And use your fear because this is
healthy fear as motivation. Don't get stuck because then that's
going to rob you of the joy that you could
have in this season.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Fear says, what do I care about?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And you care about being a good mom, And I
can tell by you asking this question, you're gonna be
a great mom. And thank your husband for serving. If
he's listening, hey, thank you for serving. And then I
wish we had a bell because that would mean we
have another metal listener. If her husband, maybe he'll listen
to this one because it's about his wife. That's that's guys,
(17:27):
That's why I was might And then maybe when he's deployed,
he'll binge us.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So I have some information. What am I allowed to
share this gopoiler alert spoiler alert. There are six seasons
total of Sex in the City, which.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Oh yeah, but guys, y'all are y'all we're on the
wrong I have y'all, y'all are like people that don't
understand sex and the city. There's sex in the City
of the show. And then HBO, which is now Max
did a different show called Just Like That, and that
is where what happened what you said happen. I'm not
saying it because I'm not gonna spoil in case people
missed it, but you gave away the ending.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
You said it. Yeah, but I haven't even watched it,
and I know that that happened because I saw people
making memes about it, So honestly, you gave it away
because I could have been wrong because I haven't even
watched the show. You are so confirmed it. It's your fault.
Now we're gonna lose all these followers because.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You, like I, whenever I said Miranda was pregnant, you
were like spoiler alert and that is literally from like
I don't know, two thousand and five defensive and then
you spoiled something from like yesterday.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
WTW. I'm sorry, guys, I love, but you can forget.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Shannon was trying to help you out, but she doesn't
no no, no no, just like that, and I really feel
like that was out pretty recently, but it really doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Shannon's never watched it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Obviously. I was like, I went to Shannon for support,
but I was like, okay, nobody watches.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I can't believe nobody watches Sex and the City.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
It's so good all that I could do. I like
the TBS version because the Netflix one now and where
I'm rewatching it, they show a lot of the sex stuff.
Whenever I was watching it back in the day, I
was watching it on TBS, so I got the g
rated or one of those networks where you can't show
(19:18):
that stuff. So I was getting the edited version, and
I like that one, like I don't need to see.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, it's have gotten the point without saying that, yes, okay,
well then we'll watch it on TBS if.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We If that's a thing anymore, all right, don't forget.
You can call us eight seven seven two o seven
two o seven seven. You can also email us hey
there at Feeling Things podcast dot com.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
And we hope that you have the day you need
to have.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Bye bye,
All right, break it down.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
If you ever have feelings that you just won home,
Amy and Cat gotcha Covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks,
do you.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Just follow an the spirit where it's all.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
The phone over, real stuff, tell the chill stuff and the.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do
it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is Feeling things with.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Happy Thursday, Welcome to Couch Talks, our listener Q and
a episode.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'm Amy and I'm Kat. And quick disclaimer before we
get into today's question that although I'm a therapist and
we're answering your questions and Amy is Amy and she's
gonna be answering your questions as well, this podcast is
not served as a replacement or a substitute for actual therapy.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Yeah, we need a new thing other than just Amy
is Amy. You just be like, I'm I'm a therapist,
I'm doing this and I'm.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Kat and Amy is also here with a human just
like you, with thoughts and feeling and radio girlsonality.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah I think, Yeah, you're the one giving the disclaimer,
Like I don't have to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Because true, I am just here like every other whatever
you wanted person on the internet. You could say whatever
you wanted and take my advice and you can't sue me.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, whereas I think you, I could lose my life
being the professional that you are. It's important to have
that disclaimer. It's is kind of funny when you're like, Hi, i'mkay,
I'm a licensed therapist, and Amy's Amy.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
I don't want to leave you out.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
It's okay. I can be left out of that, like,
I'm okay. We could come up with something like you
have your spiel. I could come up with something that
I say like. You could be like ca, I'm a
license therapist, don't sue me. Take it with a grain
of salt. And I can be like Amy and I'm
just here and you can't sue me. Like I can
tell you whatever I want if you do it, if
it works, great, it doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Sorry, I guess somebody could sue you. But you can't
lose your license because you don't have one. That's okay.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
That's what we say. I Amy and I have no licenses,
so I can say whatever and then you get to
do whatever, and I'll still be here even if your
life falls apart. But we're hoping that it doesn't, because
I think we both have life experience that we offer too,
like you're coming from a clinical standpoint and also a
personal standpoint like today we have. Well, it's not an email,
(02:23):
it's a voicemail. You know my favorite. I love when
y'all call. This is from a listener Mackenzie and I
reached out to her after we got the voicemail because
as you'll hear, when she starts talking, she's like, just
found out I'm pregnant. We haven't told anybody yet, and
I'm like, okay. So if we put this in couch talks,
what if Mackenzie's bff also listens to the show, or
(02:47):
what a cool way to find out to be Like
Mackenzie was that because we were playing her voice. We're
gonna play her voice in our very professional manner in
which Shannon hands me her phone and I play it
through the firophone. So we're gonna play Mackenzie from North Carolina.
This is a voice mail that she sent us, So
(03:08):
this is our question coming to us from Shannon's phone.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Hey, kat Amy, this is McKenzie calling from North Carolina.
Loved the show and I was just calling to get
some incise from you, guys. I recently found out that
I am pregnant. We haven't told anyone yet, but I'm
looking for some advice because I want to be super
excited and really lean in, but I'm having of our
(03:33):
time and letting fear take the first step, and a
lot of it just fear of not being a good mom,
sears giving verse in general, fear of what to come
because I'm starting PIA school in July, and my husband
is deploying because he's in the military, and we're just
gonna be in a very busy season when the baby's
(03:56):
gonna be born.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
So just calling to.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Get some advice. Friendy guys, Centiley talk it over. But
hope you guys think.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Thanks you guys.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Thanks McKenzie for that. And why are you smiling so many?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
I just really wanted to say, Okay, I know you've
been the big fan of the voicemails, but I do
love the voicemails because that's so different than reading a
because I was reading a transcript of it and it
feels different than reading it right, which is like it's.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
The yeah, I know the email, Yes, the voicemail. It's
when hearing their voice is a different level of connection. Wow, yeah, deep,
which y'all can call us and leave us a voicemail.
Eight seven seven two O seven two seven seven is
the number, and you just leave us a message. And
(04:47):
before we get into answering Mackenzie's question, which I think
we both have thoughts on that, and something my boyfriend
shared with me recently that he learned from his dad
after his wife passed away, Like my boyfriend's wife passed
away and his dad gave him a little acronym, and
that's something I'm going to be sharing but something we
(05:08):
use in our relationship now. And I think Mackenzie will
appreciate the acronym and it's something maybe her and her
husband can do to each other. And he's in the military,
so you know, he loves a good acronym and they
can just like, you know, say the acronym to each
other and it might really help. Which I realized we
have another voicemail. I'm not going to play it. But
in speaking of feeling connected to listeners, Amber called and
(05:29):
left us a whole voicemail after she heard us talking
about our other listener that's hiking twelve hundred miles by
herself and she said that a lot of people just say,
what does your husband think about that? And Amber shared
a different perspective of like that she was in a
relationship where her husband wasn't that supportive, and like oftentimes
her friends knew to ask her that question so that
(05:51):
they knew how to support her and show up for her.
And listening to her voicemail about that, I think I
received it differently than I would have if she would
have just typed just an email, because more kind. Yeah,
like I heard her voice and like she even in
the in the transcript, like at the end, she's like,
you know, we hope that everyone has support in their relationship,
but unfortunately sometimes they do not. Anyways, love you guys, bye,
(06:14):
And just hearing her say that, I was like, Oh,
she was very respectful in sharing her view, and she
was representing a side that we didn't touch on, and
so I was very thankful to have Amber's perspective and
receiving that via voicemail and hearing her voice was helpful.
So otherwise, I mean, Amber, I would play that, but
then I have to go get Shannon's phone again and
(06:35):
bring it over. We don't have the technology for doing it.
Fancy schmancy yet, but you're right, there is a different
connection with hearing all's voices. So please call us. We
love it. Now, are you ready for the.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Acronym I've been waiting?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Okay, McKenzie, I am gonna give you this acronym and
maybe who knows, maybe you'll tattoo it on your body
and your babe.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Okay, w T w W let me guess what it means. Okay,
w TW And this is an acronym for when.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
You're going through something hard, hard, you might and you're
what you're worried about things?
Speaker 3 (07:13):
What in the world?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
No, I'll watch. You're not gonna get it, Okay, wait
to worry? W TU, Well, eventually I know it. We're
couch Talks is a shorter episode, but wait to worry.
And I think that there was my husband's are my okay? Okay,
my boyfriends.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Do something to us now, Okay, you're so red right now.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
My my boyfriend's wife, when she had cancer, there was
a lot of like just the fear of her dying
and what that may look like and sort of seemed
inevitable at some point in the in the cancer journey.
And so I think sometimes my boyfriend get wrapped around Okay,
(08:05):
well what if this, this and this, and his dad
would say, let's wait to worry, Like, we actually don't
know that yet, so let's wait to worry. And so
now even in our relationship, me dating him being a widower,
and there's different things with blending our families. If we
are to get married one day, who knows. I'm casual
(08:25):
about that, no idea.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I haven't been thinking about it, never.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Even thought about it him being my husband, ever, I
would that would be stupid.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
It's crazy, yeah, crazy.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
So I sometimes will have fear around the blending of
our kids and what that will look like in different
scenarios and what will we do here, and like our
houses and different relationships. Just gets too complicated. And then
I and he'll say, hey, WTW, and I'm like, you
know what, You're right, We're not even there yet, So
why am I worrying about something that hasn't even happened WTW.
(08:58):
And then we just we can sort of bring each
other back to the present moment with a simple WTW
because we know the importance of it. We've talked about it.
So with Mackenzie and her husband, if they can talk
through WTW, and what it means sometimes if one of
them happens to be spiraling for whatever which reason, given
all of in your feelings are totally valid. Mckenzi. By
(09:18):
the way, like, I think it's very normal to care
about the fact that you're about to bring a baby
into this world and your husband deploys, and are you
going to be a good mom and what is it
going to be? Like, I mean, I have a daughter
that just turned eighteen, and this is not going to
be great. Give you the warm fuzzies, but you're pretty
much just once you become a parent, you're worried the
(09:39):
rest of your life. But you got a wtw so
you don't let it take control, which would be sort
of like future tripping, you know.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Also you saying once you have a kid, you're worried
the rest of your life because you always are going
to care about that child no matter what they're going through. Right,
you'd be worried about anything. And what did you just
say the future tripping? Yes, I was thinking we talked
about for voting Joy wh when I think we were
doing the gladness episode and how we do that when
(10:24):
good things happen because we're afraid a shoe is going
to drop. Something we didn't talk about is this term
that Brene Brown talks about dress rehearsing tragedy, which is
kind of what I hear a little bit of it.
We're worried about all these things and we're dressed rehearsing
this tragedy, but the tragedy hasn't happened yet. And actually
you can't do that because even if something happens and
(10:46):
something doesn't go as planned, you still have to go
through it. So doing a dress rehearsal actually doesn't make
it easier. More so you have to live it more
so you can care and you can have fear. I
think that's healthy. If you didn't have fear around being pregnant,
and I mean your husband's being deployed and you're going
(11:06):
to PA school, which I imagine is pretty hard.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, shut up, shut out.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, if you didn't have fear, that would be a
little concerning, because fear shows us that we care, and
healthy anxiety, there is a healthy amount of anxiety that
helps us pay attention to stuff and prepare. So if
you're worried about all these things, you can use it. Okay, Well,
I want to get some more information on that. I
want to learn about what the birth process is going
(11:33):
to be, Like, I want to see if there's any
extra things I should think about or look into. That's
okay to care. You don't need to follow every single
birthing expert on Instagram because that's probably information overload. I
think this is one of those things where it feels
like you have to be black or white. There is
a gray, healthy amount of fear that we can pay
(11:55):
attention to. That doesn't mean that we're also not excited.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, because you don't want the fear to to overshadow
the They can lift, they can both be there. But
she's like she said, I want to be super excited
and really lean in, but I'm having a hard time
letting fear take the first step. So accept the fear,
invite the fear to come alongside it can be there,
and also let the excitement come in and lean in.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
I bet there already is. Yeah, I bet there is
excitement there and just are like, fear, give us like
a little bit of room come in and you guys
can hang out together.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
That's that song and everyone's posting it on social but
my son listens to it all the time. It's like
the anxiety anxiety, you know, and then someone comes up
dancing behind them, like yeah, yeah, it would be you know,
like you just kind of dancing. What are the words anxiety, anxiety?
That's more anxiety, yeah, anxiety anxiety. And then like maybe
(12:49):
you make that like your song and it's all good.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
It just it's there.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It comes up behind you and it's Sarah. I actually
don't know the exact meaning of that song, so maybe
it's not the best example, but the video is online
or cube when people do that and then someone comes
up behind them and they're they're the anxiety.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
Your anxiety. One can be the excitement because I felt
like I heard some joy in her.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Oh yeah, I think that she is excited. You know,
I'm rewatching Sex in the City and Miranda is pregnant.
You've never watched Sex and the City. I just gave it. No,
this is a spoiler season four, and.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I had a good pregnant. I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I just have it on in the background when I'm
doing other things. But it's so funny. When I was
getting ready for work this morning, I had it on.
And this was an episode where she went to go
get a sonogram, and she finds out that she's having
a boy, and everyone's so excited, like, oh my gosh,
and she's just sitting there and so finally she just
fakes to the technician.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Like, oh yay, I'm so excited.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I don't know if she would have been excited if
it was a girl or boy. I think, just like
being pregnant in general, she wasn't planning on it. She
got better spoiler I know, sorry, her ex boyfriend. They
hooked it anyway, Oh he owns a bar. Isn't she married?
In the show Miranda, she ends up marrying Steve spoiler
some of it. I get confused when the movies came
(14:07):
out because then some of it happened in the movie.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Or are they connecting the same storyline?
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Yeah, it's all connected. And then you know they had
the also the show after, which was when.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
He died on the peloton spoiler.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
I feel like that is a spoiler because that that
is pretty recent.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Okay, it's called just like that. If the movie's been
out for what ten years?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
If that wasn't the movie, that was the show. No,
but the part you're talking about just came out like
two years ago. Yes, No, I swear Shannon, Google.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
It now play did the show come out?
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Fact?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
So if you had that many years to watch it,
I don't feel bad two years if it was like
a show that's playing right now, spoiler, if it's the
Karen Reid trial, spoiler that's happening right now.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Wow, I can't believe you just give that away anyway.
Let's let's just let's just it's just like that, just
like that, and just like that, it's the follow up
to sex one.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Somebody's like, I've never listening to the podcast again, you
ruined the show that I'm watching. I'm sorry. Also was
all over Instagram and defense it. I am but I
also don't feel bad.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
So I just we're gonna get your license taken away.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
Don't you report it to the boord? Like, what do
you have to say for yourself? You told me of
just seccess the city on your podcast, And now all
of these clients have a disorder. They can't trust any
they no, they can't listen to podcasts anymore.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah. Well, back to Miranda faking her excitement, It just
made me think of that, of like how she had
to fake it, and then later she was telling her
friends and her friends were even more excited than she was,
and she said, here, you know, I want to be
super excited. And that's what Miranda was saying to her friend.
She's like, what is wrong with me? Like why am
I not feeling this? Why did I have to basically
(15:48):
fake my excitement to the sonogram person? And everybody's just
on their own journey. You may not feel Also, sometimes
I think we're led to like believe, like as women,
that we're just supposed to like savor being pregnant and
love it. And some people really do love it, but
also some people's experiences they actually really hate it and
(16:10):
they it's miserable. So just also be willing to know
that I know you're in the early stages, but you
may hate it. So helpful, however, it's gonna eventually give
you a little package that's gonna be so amazing when
it comes out, we'll go back and baby yeah, because
(16:31):
I don't know if it's a boy or call some
picturing like a little stork.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I think that's a good point though, that some people
aren't well, some people aren't excited that they get pregnant.
So this person is sounding like she wants to be
excited so I don't think that's her story, but not
everybody wants all of that, So there's room for.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
All of it. And use your fear because this is
healthy fear as motivation. Don't get stuck because then that's
going to rob you of the joy that you could
have in this season.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
Fear says, what do I care about?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
And you care about being a good mom, And I
can tell by you asking this question, you're gonna be
a great mom. And thank your husband for serving. If
he's listening, hey, thank you for serving. And then I
wish we had a bell because that would mean we
have another metal listener. If her husband, maybe he'll listen
to this one because it's about his wife. That's that's guys,
(17:27):
That's why I was might And then maybe when he's deployed,
he'll binge us.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
So I have some information. What am I allowed to
share this gopoiler alert spoiler alert. There are six seasons
total of Sex in the City, which.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
Oh yeah, but guys, y'all are y'all we're on the
wrong I have y'all, y'all are like people that don't
understand sex and the city. There's sex in the City
of the show. And then HBO, which is now Max
did a different show called Just Like That, and that
is where what happened what you said happen. I'm not
saying it because I'm not gonna spoil in case people
missed it, but you gave away the ending.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
You said it. Yeah, but I haven't even watched it,
and I know that that happened because I saw people
making memes about it, So honestly, you gave it away
because I could have been wrong because I haven't even
watched the show. You are so confirmed it. It's your fault.
Now we're gonna lose all these followers because.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
You, like I, whenever I said Miranda was pregnant, you
were like spoiler alert and that is literally from like
I don't know, two thousand and five defensive and then
you spoiled something from like yesterday.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
WTW. I'm sorry, guys, I love, but you can forget.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Shannon was trying to help you out, but she doesn't
no no, no no, just like that, and I really feel
like that was out pretty recently, but it really doesn't matter.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
Shannon's never watched it.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Obviously. I was like, I went to Shannon for support,
but I was like, okay, nobody watches.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
I can't believe nobody watches Sex and the City.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
It's so good all that I could do. I like
the TBS version because the Netflix one now and where
I'm rewatching it, they show a lot of the sex stuff.
Whenever I was watching it back in the day, I
was watching it on TBS, so I got the g
rated or one of those networks where you can't show
(19:18):
that stuff. So I was getting the edited version, and
I like that one, like I don't need to see.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, it's have gotten the point without saying that, yes, okay,
well then we'll watch it on TBS if.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
We If that's a thing anymore, all right, don't forget.
You can call us eight seven seven two o seven
two o seven seven. You can also email us hey
there at Feeling Things podcast dot com.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
And we hope that you have the day you need
to have.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Bye bye,
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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