September 15, 2020 • 20 mins
This is Amy’s ‘5th Thing’ (a bonus episode). ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy shares emails from you guys and answers questions y’all have sent in. On today’s episode Amy addresses: smiling tricking your mind, how she’s evolved when it comes to food & body image (a listener that had mixed feelings about her at first), whether or not The Home Edit bins & containers are worth it, marriage advice, and a listener’s family story about choosing people we care about over & over again.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday, everybody. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy
and this is the bonus episode of the Four Things podcast,
where I share your emails that you send in. It
used to be a total Q and A, but I've
switched it up a little bit now to where I
just share emails. Sometimes that email might be a question
that I answer. Sometimes it might be an email of encouragement,
or an idea or inspiration or suggestion, or just something
(00:28):
that our community may benefit from, or at least I
think that you will. So that is what you're in
for today. And I normally start the episode off with
a quote, and this one actually comes from one of
you guys. So if you'll have quotes that you've come
up with on your own, I would love to hear
from you as well. And this is from I'm sorry
if I'm butchering your name and you're listening right now.
(00:49):
I really don't know how to pronounce this, but I
think it's Chilian or Chilean shepherd. She sent me a
nice little email and at the end of it, she said,
I was on a happy high one day when I
came up with my own quote, and I thought you
might like it, so here I am sharing it with you, guys.
Charalian wrote, every day is a good day. Sometimes you
have off moments, never forget how blessed you are that
(01:10):
you were able to wake up. And I think sometimes
we take for granted the fact that we woke up
and that is enough to be thankful for because we
all have the rough days. But when you look at
it that way, it's like, Okay, I'm thankful to be alive.
I know that there's other things I can be thankful for.
And what we encourage here at the Four Things podcast
is to come up with four things every day that
(01:30):
you're thankful for, big or small, and that even in
the off moments or the bad days, ultimately you can
still find a way to have made it a good day,
which I know seems really hard if you're in the
weeds of something right now. Trust me, I get it.
I am with you. I can't even imagine what some
people are going through. Like I do this thing where
(01:51):
when I'm having a rough time and I'll say it
to my therapist, I'll say this, this, this, and I
just feel like I'm rattling off all these things and
I feel extremely ne getive. And then I look at her,
and I say, but I know, in the grand skinning things,
this stuff is just really not that big of a
deal because I know that some people are dealing with
the loss of a child or a cancer diagnosis or that,
and I know how at least the cancer diagnosis feels
(02:12):
because my mom had cancer and my dad had cancer.
But like the loss of a child or a drug
addiction or this or that, I go on and on
with all these things, the loss of a job, no
way to pay bills, getting evicted from your home, all
these things that just don't seem as bad as what
I might be going through. And my therapist reminds me
that I should not devalue what I am going through.
(02:34):
What I'm going through is equally as important as somebody else,
and when I don't talk about it or address it,
then it can get worse. So don't ever minimize what
you're going through because it doesn't seem as bad as
whatever other people might be going through. So that's just
my reminder. We've talked about that here on the podcast before,
(02:54):
for sure, but I thought I would give you all
that reminder since I literally was just sitting in my
therapy session the other day doing that, uh, something else
that I saw real quick that I want to share
before I get into the emails. It's just a quick
study that shows that smiling may boost your overall outlook.
So pretty much smiling can trick your mind into being
more positive. According to a new study, researchers at the
(03:15):
University of South Australia found that the simple act of
moving your facial muscles into a smile can make you
view the world more positively. So when your muscles say
you're happy, you're more likely to see the world around
you in a positive way, said the lead researcher. So
if you're looking to trick your brain into being more happy, hey,
it could maybe start with a smile. Which also makes
(03:37):
me think of a post that I saw Glenn and
Doyle put up on her Instagram the other day. I
think she just must have taken a screenshot of something
she posted on Twitter and put it up. And so
the picture part was that screenshot which said, my eyes
hurt so bad from trying to make sure everyone knows
I'm smiling at them underneath this mask. And then the
caption part that she wrote on Instagram was it is
(03:57):
strenuous to try all day to say it's gonna be okay,
and we're in this together and we can do hard things,
and I love you with just your eyeballs, but I'm
doing it. So I thought that was a good reminder
to just do it, even though you've got a mask on.
Just smile, try to send messages with your eyeballs to people,
because you never know what somebody else is going through.
(04:18):
And speaking of Glennon, if you missed my four Things
episode with her, she did all four things I think
on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, and when
you're searching Glennon Doyle, hopefully my podcast will show up.
Or if you can search Amy Brown Glennon Doyle and
the search engine wherever you listen to podcasts and then
her episode should pop up. Or you can just go
to four Things with Aby Brown in search a few
weeks back and she will be right in the little
(04:40):
feed for you to click on that episode and listen
to is a good chat. So smiling can trick your mind.
Don't forget that. And my daughter and I we had
a girl's day on Saturday. We went shopping at Targets.
So before we went in, we put our masks on
and then we took a little selfie that I put
on Instagram, and we were both wondering, hey, are you
smiling under there because we were taking a picture, but
mouths recovered and she looked at me and she's like, Mom,
(05:02):
are we smiling? Are we not smiling? What are we doing?
And I said, well, I think we should still smile,
because I think we could. I don't know, to be
a better picture if we smile. And she said that
they're having to wear masks at school, and she tries
to smile, and she can tell when teachers are smiling
or other kids are smiling because she feels like people's
cheeks lift up and that's what she looks for. So
some people are looking to see if you're actually smiling
(05:24):
under the masks. So give it a try. Okay, let's
get into the first email that I'm going to share.
This is from anonymous. I reached out to this person.
I think it would have been okay for me to
say her name, but then I never heard back by
the time I'm recording this, so I'm just gonna leave
it as anonymous. Hey, Amy, I've been listening to you
on the Bobby Bones Show for a few years. And
(05:45):
have followed your podcast since you've started it. I have
to tell you I had mixed feelings about you at
first a few years ago because of how strict you
were with health food. Since I've struggled with my own
weight for years in high school, I had stopped eating,
and in more recent years it's been over eating and
emotional eating. I feel like if I ever met you
or even Bobby, you guys would judge me because of
(06:05):
my weight. Luckily, last year, I was very fortunate enough
to have bumped into Bobby and Eddie before a show
in Delaware, and they both couldn't have been nicer, and
I didn't feel as if either of them judged me
because of my weight. I love the work you're doing
on yourself this past year, and it's not gone unnoticed
that you have made a significant change on yourself this year,
and I want to let you know that you've inspired
me to work on myself more this year. I turned
(06:28):
forty in May, and I decided it was time to
focus on myself. I was able to find a life
coach who with many of the things that she says
reminds me of the things that you talk about. My
coach reads Burnet Brown like you do, and there are
just so many similarities in your views on life. If
you have time, you should look up my coach's book
on Amazon. It's called Beneath the Surface and it's a
self help book, short and sweet and tells her story
(06:49):
of her struggles and how she got to where she
is today. You could also follow her on Instagram. I
just thought you would enjoy her. Also, I love the
work that you'll do through Pimp and Joy. I have
way too many shirts. They're also cute and comfy, and
I love where the money goes. Great work and keep
on working on yourself. You are amazing. So thank you
for this email, Anonymous. I appreciate you sharing your life
(07:12):
coaches book with us. I'm definitely going to check it out,
and then also sending the encouragement that we're all a
work in progress and we're all working on ourselves, and
I'm thankful that y'all are a part of my evolving journey.
I got an emails like this before from people that
definitely couldn't listen to the podcast because of the way
(07:32):
I spoke about food, which was very distorted. I had
an unhealthy relationship with food. It was disordered eating. I
was a trigger for people, and I did not understand
at the time because I was in the thick of it.
I didn't want to get offended that someone couldn't listen,
because obviously was for their better good. And I encourage
you all the time if you're ever following content that
isn't good for you, it may not mean that that
(07:54):
person is bad, because I don't certainly don't think my
podcast is bad. But if it wasn't for somebody, then
I can appreciate the fact that they don't listen, because
I certainly don't want to be a trigger for anybody.
So I'm thankful to be coming out on the other
side of this where people that have had struggles with
food or that are in a better place than I
(08:14):
was with food and they're eating disorder that they can
now feel comfortable to listen and not be triggered by
whatever it is that I'm saying or recommending some crazy
new cleans or diet, which was totally me. If you
go back and listen to episodes from a year ago,
I was speaking very differently about food and my body
and things that I would recommend to you guys. But
we're all on a journey. Sometimes I even get judged
(08:36):
for changing the way that I am, But you've got
to have grace that we're all a work in progress
and we're all just trying to be better. So thank
you for this nice email. And trust me, if I
ever met you in person, either now or even a
year ago or two years ago, five years ago, even
though I had my own issues with food and disordered
eating and full blown eating disorder, I would never judge
(09:00):
anybody else for their weight at all. So hopefully we
will get to meet in person one day, and I
can't wait to give you a big hug or a
smile under my mask or something depending on where we
are with coronavirus when I meet you. And thank you
so much for being a supporter of Pimp and Joy.
That is very, very awesome. I love that you have
so many shirts. Okay, next email is from Carrie Hey,
(09:31):
so I know you had the home Edit come out
into your pantry at the last house. I was watching
their new Netflix show and wondering if you loved all
of their bins and containers. I'm looking to invest, but
only if it's practical. Carrie, I am obsessed with the
Home Edit and their bins and containers from the Container Store.
They are the cutest little storage things ever. I never
thought I would be that person to buy something from
(09:52):
the grocery store and cut it open and then dump
it into a cute little bin. But the feeling I
have when I walk in my pantry is a little
more zin like then. I used to feel overwhelmed and
embarrassed by my pantry and stressed out by it, and
I wouldn't say I've kept it in complete order like
the Home Edit, like the pretty Rainbow and everything totally organized.
But with their canisters that they have depending on which
(10:13):
ones you go with, and the cute little labels that
they have you can put on there, it just makes
everything feel like it has a place. And I'm excited
when I feel up my cute little jars, and I
don't get stressed out when I go in my pantry.
So depending on you know your goals for your pant
or your closet or whatever, I do think that their
bins and containers and labels are pretty awesome, and they
(10:35):
have so many tips and tricks, like if you get
their book, or you even just follow their Instagram or
you could google stuff different articles that they've talked about
or even watching their new Netflix show. You could do
it on your own. You don't have to hire them
or have them come in. And I love that they
tried to put it all out there for people to
organize their houses theirselves. I mean, they get it. Not
everybody can have the home edit come into their home
(10:57):
and completely redo it. And what I did with them
even was a trade deal. When they put out their
first book and they did their book launch party in Nashville,
I hosted it. I was the moderator and talked with
them and sat down with him for an hour with
an audience, and it was really awesome. But in trade
for that, they offered to do one area in my house,
and I chose my pantry, so that's how that got done.
(11:19):
And then I think all I ended up doing was
to actually buy the containers from the container store, but
the organizing services they offered me for trade, so I'm down.
I spent my own money on their stuff, and I
think that it's great, So I highly recommend it. And
I have yet to check out their show on Netflix,
but I know Reese Witherspoon is behind it, and of
course I love Clia and Joanna. So if y'all are
(11:41):
looking for a new organizing show to watch, I will
be watching it soon. Next question is from Chelsea or
next email. So I was listening last week to an
episode where you talked about the advice from Tim Ferris
and Burnet Brown and it was so good. I'm getting
ready to be married this fall, and I was wondering,
what you're one biggest piece of relationship advices. Well, shoot, Chelsea,
(12:02):
you've already done the piece of advice that I would
give you, which would be to watch Burnet Brown and
Tim Ferris talk about that part in the episode where
she was on his podcast, because I really just feel
like that was such wonderful advice. And for those of
you that missed that Four Things episode, pretty much in
a nutshell, Burnet and her husband implemented a system where
(12:25):
marriage is a hundred percent, Like it's not fifty fifty,
like you're trying to equal a hundred but each day
that means each partner would have to be at and
that's just not how we operate. There's some days where
you've got a lot more to give, and there's some
days where you got like nothing to give. So Burnee
and her husband have a system to where she may
(12:45):
come home after a long day, a lot going on
and she might only have to give. Well, her husband
can either say you know what, I'm having a solid day.
I've got I've got you, I'll cover you here in
this area, this area, this area, and we'll make it
through the day. At her husband and may also be like, oh, shoot,
you've got nothing, I've got, so what are we gonna do?
And they sit down and they have a plan for
(13:07):
how they get by with only twenty and it's two people.
So hopefully that makes sense and some of what Burnee
was saying, which I encourage you to go look up
that episode. If you just go to Tim Ferris podcast
or he even has it up on YouTube and you
search Burnee Brown, Tim Ferris, you will find it. But
what they do is they cancel their plans, They order
(13:27):
take out, They try to do things that are going
to take stress or ease up their day a little
bit so that way they can survive the day without
you know, ripping each other's heads off for things going
really south, because when we get stretched too thin, that's
when stuff just builds up and builds up, and one
of you may explode and then that then you spend
time picking up those pieces. So I really loved that
(13:49):
piece of advice from Burnee, And that is now what
I will tell people. You've already heard it, so I
will say in addition to that, I would just say
communication is just so key, and my husband doesn't like
to communicate as much as I do, and I have
to almost press him on it at times, and we
have to work on it, like we're working on trying
to communicate more effectively, and we've been married fourteen years
(14:11):
and we still don't have it figured out. I will say,
if you can do pre marital counseling, if you can
do any marital counseling at all, if that's in your budget,
to try to just get some stuff out. We all
have past traumas like little tease, big tease, like little
traumatic events, big traumatic events that affect us and how
we have relationships with people, and sometimes that stuff isn't
(14:32):
going to come up until maybe we're triggered by it.
And when you're married to someone, you're with them through
it all and you see certain things come up that
maybe didn't come up while you were dating because they
didn't even have the opportunity to you weren't triggered. And
I think as long as you're in agreement that you're
going to communicate about everything and express your needs and
you're like, what you're feeling, express what you need, talk
(14:54):
about it. And that's easier for me to do than
my husband. It's actually quite hard for him to do,
and we're working on that. So that would be one
piece of advice. But honestly, I feel like I could
go on and on with things, and Kelsea, I'll leave
you with one other thing that might be cool for
you to do is if you've got people in your
life that you really look up to that happen to
be married, whether it's your parents and uncle's best friends, siblings,
(15:15):
family friends, maybe you could reach out to each of
them and have your fiance do the same thing and
get a nugget from each of those people, a piece
of advice or something that they implement to try to
help their relationship. Maybe an exercise that they do, or
they sit down once a week and do X Y
Z to strengthen their relationship, or once a month, or
they try to do this many date nights or whatever
(15:37):
it is, and gather all those and then meet with
your fiance about it. See what he was able to gather,
see what you're able to gather, and then you'll talk
about what you learn from these people that are in
your life and some of that advice that you want
to bring into your relationship or stick in your back
pocket for later when you might need it, or totally
trash it. It's not good advice at all whatsoever. That's
(15:58):
what I would suggest you do, because that might be
fun to see what you'll come back with from people
in your life. Okay, next email is from Linda. Hey, Amy,
I started listening in January, and I've been listening to
your older podcasts or recently. I was listening to a
podcast from July or August last year. I think it
was with Jeremy Cowart, which guess Linda it was. Anyway,
(16:19):
you two were talking about adoption and how hard it
can be to be a parent. I remembered something my
dad had told me about my sister Anne, and must
have been about five. I had been born, or maybe
I was on the way, and good friends of my
parents had just adopted an infant son and asked Daddy,
am I adopted? He replied that she wasn't adopted, she
(16:40):
was their biological daughter, and then asked, Daddy, if I'm bad,
will you give me back? I think this stumped him.
She was his and my mom's. They both loved kids
wanted kids, so he replied, no, I'd never give you back,
and said, even if I'm really bad, if I do
bad things, will you give me back? Again? The stumped him,
(17:01):
so he replied, even if you're bad, we won't give
you back. I'll adopt you over and over again if
I have to. But no matter how many times you
are bad, you're still my daughter. I'll never give you back.
He said that, and it seemed to satisfy her. My
parents were not perfect. They did the best they could.
They loved my sister and I unconditionally, and on the
bad days, the days when we were bad, they adopted
(17:24):
us over and over again. I don't have kids, but
I try to do this with my stepdaughters and even
at times my husband just needed to tell someone about this.
Thanks for listening and reading, Keep up the good work,
and thank you for sharing this, Linda. I think that yeah,
you could apply this way of thinking not only to
your biological kids or your adopted kids or your stepchildren,
(17:46):
or your spouses or your friends, Like you're choosing to
adopt someone over and over, you're choosing to have them
in your life. No matter what they do, You're still
going to be there for them and love them. And
I love the way your dad put that, and that
he continued to tell y'all that even though you weren't
even adopted, but it's something that resonated with your sister
(18:09):
and then he used it on you also, So I
think that's great. Thank you for sharing that. And then
before I wrapped today, I did get an email birthday
shout out from Gabby. Her daughter Kai, is turning ten
years old on September. She said a shout out would
be amazing, So happy tenth birthday, Kai. My son Stevenson
just turned ten in August, and it's a super cool birthday.
(18:30):
You are officially double digits, so I hope you enjoy
it and you get lots of cake and ice cream
or whatever it is that you love to do. I
know this year is such a weird year to have
a birthday, especially for kids. I don't know if y'all
are able to have parties where you live, or if
you have a small group that you can hang out with.
But I hope that it's a special day no matter what.
And you, speaking of being so weird, just didn't know
(18:52):
if y'all saw our four Things shirt that went up
last weekend that says it's fine, I'm fine, Everything is fine,
And those are the four lines on the pull over,
so if you'll want to check those out or maybe
you need one for yourself, it's just the perfect four
things pull over for And we still have our Fall
ones two. We sold out of some of the sizes
for Burnt Orange, but the maroon one that says four
(19:16):
different fall Things because it's officially fall later this week.
You can check those out Radio amy dot com for
all of that and feel good about your purchases knowing
that they're supporting My Life Speaks in Nepoli, Haiti, which
I did a Friday night live Mary and I did
with the founder of My Life Speaks, Mike Wilson on
Friday night and it's up on shop Splas Instagram if
(19:36):
you want to learn more about My Life Speaks and
the work that they're doing in Nepoli. So if you
go to at shop Espoix, you will see the live
on the main feed. You can click on it and
go to I G t V and watch it and
also follow that account because I run it. And then
I'm radio Amy on Instagram radiomy dot com for most
things you might need. And then four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com to send me emails that
(19:57):
you never know might make it into this episod D
the fifth thing. Okay, I hope you all have a
great week. By h
Happy Tuesday, everybody. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy
and this is the bonus episode of the Four Things podcast,
where I share your emails that you send in. It
used to be a total Q and A, but I've
switched it up a little bit now to where I
just share emails. Sometimes that email might be a question
that I answer. Sometimes it might be an email of encouragement,
or an idea or inspiration or suggestion, or just something
(00:28):
that our community may benefit from, or at least I
think that you will. So that is what you're in
for today. And I normally start the episode off with
a quote, and this one actually comes from one of
you guys. So if you'll have quotes that you've come
up with on your own, I would love to hear
from you as well. And this is from I'm sorry
if I'm butchering your name and you're listening right now.
(00:49):
I really don't know how to pronounce this, but I
think it's Chilian or Chilean shepherd. She sent me a
nice little email and at the end of it, she said,
I was on a happy high one day when I
came up with my own quote, and I thought you
might like it, so here I am sharing it with you, guys.
Charalian wrote, every day is a good day. Sometimes you
have off moments, never forget how blessed you are that
(01:10):
you were able to wake up. And I think sometimes
we take for granted the fact that we woke up
and that is enough to be thankful for because we
all have the rough days. But when you look at
it that way, it's like, Okay, I'm thankful to be alive.
I know that there's other things I can be thankful for.
And what we encourage here at the Four Things podcast
is to come up with four things every day that
(01:30):
you're thankful for, big or small, and that even in
the off moments or the bad days, ultimately you can
still find a way to have made it a good day,
which I know seems really hard if you're in the
weeds of something right now. Trust me, I get it.
I am with you. I can't even imagine what some
people are going through. Like I do this thing where
(01:51):
when I'm having a rough time and I'll say it
to my therapist, I'll say this, this, this, and I
just feel like I'm rattling off all these things and
I feel extremely ne getive. And then I look at her,
and I say, but I know, in the grand skinning things,
this stuff is just really not that big of a
deal because I know that some people are dealing with
the loss of a child or a cancer diagnosis or that,
and I know how at least the cancer diagnosis feels
(02:12):
because my mom had cancer and my dad had cancer.
But like the loss of a child or a drug
addiction or this or that, I go on and on
with all these things, the loss of a job, no
way to pay bills, getting evicted from your home, all
these things that just don't seem as bad as what
I might be going through. And my therapist reminds me
that I should not devalue what I am going through.
(02:34):
What I'm going through is equally as important as somebody else,
and when I don't talk about it or address it,
then it can get worse. So don't ever minimize what
you're going through because it doesn't seem as bad as
whatever other people might be going through. So that's just
my reminder. We've talked about that here on the podcast before,
(02:54):
for sure, but I thought I would give you all
that reminder since I literally was just sitting in my
therapy session the other day doing that, uh, something else
that I saw real quick that I want to share
before I get into the emails. It's just a quick
study that shows that smiling may boost your overall outlook.
So pretty much smiling can trick your mind into being
more positive. According to a new study, researchers at the
(03:15):
University of South Australia found that the simple act of
moving your facial muscles into a smile can make you
view the world more positively. So when your muscles say
you're happy, you're more likely to see the world around
you in a positive way, said the lead researcher. So
if you're looking to trick your brain into being more happy, hey,
it could maybe start with a smile. Which also makes
(03:37):
me think of a post that I saw Glenn and
Doyle put up on her Instagram the other day. I
think she just must have taken a screenshot of something
she posted on Twitter and put it up. And so
the picture part was that screenshot which said, my eyes
hurt so bad from trying to make sure everyone knows
I'm smiling at them underneath this mask. And then the
caption part that she wrote on Instagram was it is
(03:57):
strenuous to try all day to say it's gonna be okay,
and we're in this together and we can do hard things,
and I love you with just your eyeballs, but I'm
doing it. So I thought that was a good reminder
to just do it, even though you've got a mask on.
Just smile, try to send messages with your eyeballs to people,
because you never know what somebody else is going through.
(04:18):
And speaking of Glennon, if you missed my four Things
episode with her, she did all four things I think
on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, and when
you're searching Glennon Doyle, hopefully my podcast will show up.
Or if you can search Amy Brown Glennon Doyle and
the search engine wherever you listen to podcasts and then
her episode should pop up. Or you can just go
to four Things with Aby Brown in search a few
weeks back and she will be right in the little
(04:40):
feed for you to click on that episode and listen
to is a good chat. So smiling can trick your mind.
Don't forget that. And my daughter and I we had
a girl's day on Saturday. We went shopping at Targets.
So before we went in, we put our masks on
and then we took a little selfie that I put
on Instagram, and we were both wondering, hey, are you
smiling under there because we were taking a picture, but
mouths recovered and she looked at me and she's like, Mom,
(05:02):
are we smiling? Are we not smiling? What are we doing?
And I said, well, I think we should still smile,
because I think we could. I don't know, to be
a better picture if we smile. And she said that
they're having to wear masks at school, and she tries
to smile, and she can tell when teachers are smiling
or other kids are smiling because she feels like people's
cheeks lift up and that's what she looks for. So
some people are looking to see if you're actually smiling
(05:24):
under the masks. So give it a try. Okay, let's
get into the first email that I'm going to share.
This is from anonymous. I reached out to this person.
I think it would have been okay for me to
say her name, but then I never heard back by
the time I'm recording this, so I'm just gonna leave
it as anonymous. Hey, Amy, I've been listening to you
on the Bobby Bones Show for a few years. And
(05:45):
have followed your podcast since you've started it. I have
to tell you I had mixed feelings about you at
first a few years ago because of how strict you
were with health food. Since I've struggled with my own
weight for years in high school, I had stopped eating,
and in more recent years it's been over eating and
emotional eating. I feel like if I ever met you
or even Bobby, you guys would judge me because of
(06:05):
my weight. Luckily, last year, I was very fortunate enough
to have bumped into Bobby and Eddie before a show
in Delaware, and they both couldn't have been nicer, and
I didn't feel as if either of them judged me
because of my weight. I love the work you're doing
on yourself this past year, and it's not gone unnoticed
that you have made a significant change on yourself this year,
and I want to let you know that you've inspired
me to work on myself more this year. I turned
(06:28):
forty in May, and I decided it was time to
focus on myself. I was able to find a life
coach who with many of the things that she says
reminds me of the things that you talk about. My
coach reads Burnet Brown like you do, and there are
just so many similarities in your views on life. If
you have time, you should look up my coach's book
on Amazon. It's called Beneath the Surface and it's a
self help book, short and sweet and tells her story
(06:49):
of her struggles and how she got to where she
is today. You could also follow her on Instagram. I
just thought you would enjoy her. Also, I love the
work that you'll do through Pimp and Joy. I have
way too many shirts. They're also cute and comfy, and
I love where the money goes. Great work and keep
on working on yourself. You are amazing. So thank you
for this email, Anonymous. I appreciate you sharing your life
(07:12):
coaches book with us. I'm definitely going to check it out,
and then also sending the encouragement that we're all a
work in progress and we're all working on ourselves, and
I'm thankful that y'all are a part of my evolving journey.
I got an emails like this before from people that
definitely couldn't listen to the podcast because of the way
(07:32):
I spoke about food, which was very distorted. I had
an unhealthy relationship with food. It was disordered eating. I
was a trigger for people, and I did not understand
at the time because I was in the thick of it.
I didn't want to get offended that someone couldn't listen,
because obviously was for their better good. And I encourage
you all the time if you're ever following content that
isn't good for you, it may not mean that that
(07:54):
person is bad, because I don't certainly don't think my
podcast is bad. But if it wasn't for somebody, then
I can appreciate the fact that they don't listen, because
I certainly don't want to be a trigger for anybody.
So I'm thankful to be coming out on the other
side of this where people that have had struggles with
food or that are in a better place than I
(08:14):
was with food and they're eating disorder that they can
now feel comfortable to listen and not be triggered by
whatever it is that I'm saying or recommending some crazy
new cleans or diet, which was totally me. If you
go back and listen to episodes from a year ago,
I was speaking very differently about food and my body
and things that I would recommend to you guys. But
we're all on a journey. Sometimes I even get judged
(08:36):
for changing the way that I am, But you've got
to have grace that we're all a work in progress
and we're all just trying to be better. So thank
you for this nice email. And trust me, if I
ever met you in person, either now or even a
year ago or two years ago, five years ago, even
though I had my own issues with food and disordered
eating and full blown eating disorder, I would never judge
(09:00):
anybody else for their weight at all. So hopefully we
will get to meet in person one day, and I
can't wait to give you a big hug or a
smile under my mask or something depending on where we
are with coronavirus when I meet you. And thank you
so much for being a supporter of Pimp and Joy.
That is very, very awesome. I love that you have
so many shirts. Okay, next email is from Carrie Hey,
(09:31):
so I know you had the home Edit come out
into your pantry at the last house. I was watching
their new Netflix show and wondering if you loved all
of their bins and containers. I'm looking to invest, but
only if it's practical. Carrie, I am obsessed with the
Home Edit and their bins and containers from the Container Store.
They are the cutest little storage things ever. I never
thought I would be that person to buy something from
(09:52):
the grocery store and cut it open and then dump
it into a cute little bin. But the feeling I
have when I walk in my pantry is a little
more zin like then. I used to feel overwhelmed and
embarrassed by my pantry and stressed out by it, and
I wouldn't say I've kept it in complete order like
the Home Edit, like the pretty Rainbow and everything totally organized.
But with their canisters that they have depending on which
(10:13):
ones you go with, and the cute little labels that
they have you can put on there, it just makes
everything feel like it has a place. And I'm excited
when I feel up my cute little jars, and I
don't get stressed out when I go in my pantry.
So depending on you know your goals for your pant
or your closet or whatever, I do think that their
bins and containers and labels are pretty awesome, and they
(10:35):
have so many tips and tricks, like if you get
their book, or you even just follow their Instagram or
you could google stuff different articles that they've talked about
or even watching their new Netflix show. You could do
it on your own. You don't have to hire them
or have them come in. And I love that they
tried to put it all out there for people to
organize their houses theirselves. I mean, they get it. Not
everybody can have the home edit come into their home
(10:57):
and completely redo it. And what I did with them
even was a trade deal. When they put out their
first book and they did their book launch party in Nashville,
I hosted it. I was the moderator and talked with
them and sat down with him for an hour with
an audience, and it was really awesome. But in trade
for that, they offered to do one area in my house,
and I chose my pantry, so that's how that got done.
(11:19):
And then I think all I ended up doing was
to actually buy the containers from the container store, but
the organizing services they offered me for trade, so I'm down.
I spent my own money on their stuff, and I
think that it's great, So I highly recommend it. And
I have yet to check out their show on Netflix,
but I know Reese Witherspoon is behind it, and of
course I love Clia and Joanna. So if y'all are
(11:41):
looking for a new organizing show to watch, I will
be watching it soon. Next question is from Chelsea or
next email. So I was listening last week to an
episode where you talked about the advice from Tim Ferris
and Burnet Brown and it was so good. I'm getting
ready to be married this fall, and I was wondering,
what you're one biggest piece of relationship advices. Well, shoot, Chelsea,
(12:02):
you've already done the piece of advice that I would
give you, which would be to watch Burnet Brown and
Tim Ferris talk about that part in the episode where
she was on his podcast, because I really just feel
like that was such wonderful advice. And for those of
you that missed that Four Things episode, pretty much in
a nutshell, Burnet and her husband implemented a system where
(12:25):
marriage is a hundred percent, Like it's not fifty fifty,
like you're trying to equal a hundred but each day
that means each partner would have to be at and
that's just not how we operate. There's some days where
you've got a lot more to give, and there's some
days where you got like nothing to give. So Burnee
and her husband have a system to where she may
(12:45):
come home after a long day, a lot going on
and she might only have to give. Well, her husband
can either say you know what, I'm having a solid day.
I've got I've got you, I'll cover you here in
this area, this area, this area, and we'll make it
through the day. At her husband and may also be like, oh, shoot,
you've got nothing, I've got, so what are we gonna do?
And they sit down and they have a plan for
(13:07):
how they get by with only twenty and it's two people.
So hopefully that makes sense and some of what Burnee
was saying, which I encourage you to go look up
that episode. If you just go to Tim Ferris podcast
or he even has it up on YouTube and you
search Burnee Brown, Tim Ferris, you will find it. But
what they do is they cancel their plans, They order
(13:27):
take out, They try to do things that are going
to take stress or ease up their day a little
bit so that way they can survive the day without
you know, ripping each other's heads off for things going
really south, because when we get stretched too thin, that's
when stuff just builds up and builds up, and one
of you may explode and then that then you spend
time picking up those pieces. So I really loved that
(13:49):
piece of advice from Burnee, And that is now what
I will tell people. You've already heard it, so I
will say in addition to that, I would just say
communication is just so key, and my husband doesn't like
to communicate as much as I do, and I have
to almost press him on it at times, and we
have to work on it, like we're working on trying
to communicate more effectively, and we've been married fourteen years
(14:11):
and we still don't have it figured out. I will say,
if you can do pre marital counseling, if you can
do any marital counseling at all, if that's in your budget,
to try to just get some stuff out. We all
have past traumas like little tease, big tease, like little
traumatic events, big traumatic events that affect us and how
we have relationships with people, and sometimes that stuff isn't
(14:32):
going to come up until maybe we're triggered by it.
And when you're married to someone, you're with them through
it all and you see certain things come up that
maybe didn't come up while you were dating because they
didn't even have the opportunity to you weren't triggered. And
I think as long as you're in agreement that you're
going to communicate about everything and express your needs and
you're like, what you're feeling, express what you need, talk
(14:54):
about it. And that's easier for me to do than
my husband. It's actually quite hard for him to do,
and we're working on that. So that would be one
piece of advice. But honestly, I feel like I could
go on and on with things, and Kelsea, I'll leave
you with one other thing that might be cool for
you to do is if you've got people in your
life that you really look up to that happen to
be married, whether it's your parents and uncle's best friends, siblings,
(15:15):
family friends, maybe you could reach out to each of
them and have your fiance do the same thing and
get a nugget from each of those people, a piece
of advice or something that they implement to try to
help their relationship. Maybe an exercise that they do, or
they sit down once a week and do X Y
Z to strengthen their relationship, or once a month, or
they try to do this many date nights or whatever
(15:37):
it is, and gather all those and then meet with
your fiance about it. See what he was able to gather,
see what you're able to gather, and then you'll talk
about what you learn from these people that are in
your life and some of that advice that you want
to bring into your relationship or stick in your back
pocket for later when you might need it, or totally
trash it. It's not good advice at all whatsoever. That's
(15:58):
what I would suggest you do, because that might be
fun to see what you'll come back with from people
in your life. Okay, next email is from Linda. Hey, Amy,
I started listening in January, and I've been listening to
your older podcasts or recently. I was listening to a
podcast from July or August last year. I think it
was with Jeremy Cowart, which guess Linda it was. Anyway,
(16:19):
you two were talking about adoption and how hard it
can be to be a parent. I remembered something my
dad had told me about my sister Anne, and must
have been about five. I had been born, or maybe
I was on the way, and good friends of my
parents had just adopted an infant son and asked Daddy,
am I adopted? He replied that she wasn't adopted, she
(16:40):
was their biological daughter, and then asked, Daddy, if I'm bad,
will you give me back? I think this stumped him.
She was his and my mom's. They both loved kids
wanted kids, so he replied, no, I'd never give you back,
and said, even if I'm really bad, if I do
bad things, will you give me back? Again? The stumped him,
(17:01):
so he replied, even if you're bad, we won't give
you back. I'll adopt you over and over again if
I have to. But no matter how many times you
are bad, you're still my daughter. I'll never give you back.
He said that, and it seemed to satisfy her. My
parents were not perfect. They did the best they could.
They loved my sister and I unconditionally, and on the
bad days, the days when we were bad, they adopted
(17:24):
us over and over again. I don't have kids, but
I try to do this with my stepdaughters and even
at times my husband just needed to tell someone about this.
Thanks for listening and reading, Keep up the good work,
and thank you for sharing this, Linda. I think that yeah,
you could apply this way of thinking not only to
your biological kids or your adopted kids or your stepchildren,
(17:46):
or your spouses or your friends, Like you're choosing to
adopt someone over and over, you're choosing to have them
in your life. No matter what they do, You're still
going to be there for them and love them. And
I love the way your dad put that, and that
he continued to tell y'all that even though you weren't
even adopted, but it's something that resonated with your sister
(18:09):
and then he used it on you also, So I
think that's great. Thank you for sharing that. And then
before I wrapped today, I did get an email birthday
shout out from Gabby. Her daughter Kai, is turning ten
years old on September. She said a shout out would
be amazing, So happy tenth birthday, Kai. My son Stevenson
just turned ten in August, and it's a super cool birthday.
(18:30):
You are officially double digits, so I hope you enjoy
it and you get lots of cake and ice cream
or whatever it is that you love to do. I
know this year is such a weird year to have
a birthday, especially for kids. I don't know if y'all
are able to have parties where you live, or if
you have a small group that you can hang out with.
But I hope that it's a special day no matter what.
And you, speaking of being so weird, just didn't know
(18:52):
if y'all saw our four Things shirt that went up
last weekend that says it's fine, I'm fine, Everything is fine,
And those are the four lines on the pull over,
so if you'll want to check those out or maybe
you need one for yourself, it's just the perfect four
things pull over for And we still have our Fall
ones two. We sold out of some of the sizes
for Burnt Orange, but the maroon one that says four
(19:16):
different fall Things because it's officially fall later this week.
You can check those out Radio amy dot com for
all of that and feel good about your purchases knowing
that they're supporting My Life Speaks in Nepoli, Haiti, which
I did a Friday night live Mary and I did
with the founder of My Life Speaks, Mike Wilson on
Friday night and it's up on shop Splas Instagram if
(19:36):
you want to learn more about My Life Speaks and
the work that they're doing in Nepoli. So if you
go to at shop Espoix, you will see the live
on the main feed. You can click on it and
go to I G t V and watch it and
also follow that account because I run it. And then
I'm radio Amy on Instagram radiomy dot com for most
things you might need. And then four Things with Amy
Brown at gmail dot com to send me emails that
(19:57):
you never know might make it into this episod D
the fifth thing. Okay, I hope you all have a
great week. By h
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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