Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing, the bonus episode
to the Four Things podcast where I see your emails
that you have sent in. Today we cover what to
do when your boyfriend thinks it's okay to comment on
other people's bodies. I've got a tip from a listener
involving mayonnaise, understanding pure grace, and then also my skincare routine.
(00:27):
But before we get into all of that, I always
start off Tuesday episodes with a quote, and today's is
from Amanda Gorman. You know we were all moved by
her reading of the inauguration poem The Hill We Climb,
and I love the last few lines of the poem,
as a lot of people did, and I knew that
that would have to be this week's quote. I'm sure
(00:47):
you've seen it all over Instagram the last several days,
but I hope her words will just inspire us to
always be the light. And this is how she ended
her point, for there is always light, if only we're
brave enough to see it, if only we're brave enough
to be it. Okay, my first email today is from anonymous. Hey, Amy,
(01:09):
my boyfriend and I just been a weekend traveling to
his best friend's house. I noticed some things that are
a little concerning to me and brought them up with him,
including a change in his sense of humor with his friend.
So many times this weekend he made a joke at
someone else's expense or made a comment on the way
someone looks. Granted, never to someone who we were with
(01:30):
or someone in person, just someone who came up in conversation.
He has never done this before in front of me,
and we've been together for about six months. Anyway, when
I brought it up, he didn't see a problem with
commenting on the way someone looks in any context. I
tried to ask him, well, why does it matter how
the person looks? And he would ask me the same thing,
Why does it matter if I comment on how they look?
(01:53):
Please help me brainstorm on how I can explain this
to him. A relevant quote if you want to share
this one is make sure that this same amount of
energy you put into your physical appearance equals the work
you do on your soul. Kaylin Allen, Okay, So anonymous,
which you know who you are because you asked me
not to use your name. I emailed you back and
(02:14):
told you to listen to today's episode to get my
response and thank you for that bonus quote that you
shared with us. That's a good one. And now that
I've had a few days to think this over, and
I even talked to Cat de Fatah, who is my
friend that is a therapist and she hosts the Union
Therapy podcast, and we decided that it might be helpful
for you to tell him how it feels when you
(02:34):
hear those comments. Now, he may not agree with it
being right or wrong, but he can have compassion for
the fact that it hurts you, which is someone that
he cares about, and then what it brings up for you.
For example, you may say, when I hear you make
comments on others appearance, I feel sad and hurt, and
what it brings up for me is the stories I
(02:56):
have about my own appearance and my own struggle to
accepted by others. Now, maybe that's not exactly how you
would phrase it. You've got to fill in what is
true for you, But you can share with them how
it makes you feel and then what it brings up
for you. Then, ultimately, if you continue to see sides
of him that aren't appealing and that don't align with
(03:19):
things that you value, in a boyfriend, then maybe he's
not the one for you. And this trip to his
best friend's house, you were able to see some sides
of him that you had not seen before. And that's
why we date people for a while, to try to
get to know them on all levels. You may just
be seeing a side of him you didn't know because
(03:39):
it hadn't come out yet. Or maybe he'll process what
you're sharing with him and saying and then realized maybe
he was doing it because of some own insecurities that
he has. Who knows what the conversation will lead to.
But again, ultimately, if he's not willing to change and
he's not representing what you want and a boyfriend, and
not that you're trying to change him, I mean, it's
not too much to ask for someone to consider how
(04:02):
they're speaking about people. So again, if he's not aligning
with you, then maybe he's not the one for you alright.
Email number two is from Angelica. Hey, friend, I want
to say thank you to Stashira for the air fryer
pro tip. I love grilled cheese. I always make mine
on the stove, but as soon as I heard you
mentioned that Stashira makes hers in the air fryer. I
(04:22):
immediately tried it and oh, my goodness, life changing. I
wanted to share with you and your daughter my pro
tip on grilled cheese mayonnaise. I'm not kidding. Instead of
buttering the bread, spread a thin layer of mail on
the outsides of the bread. It makes it a little
bit crispier, and with the air friyer combo, it's impeccable.
(04:43):
I just saw the blog post on the Starbucks recipe,
so I'm going to go to the store tonight to
get those cheeses ps. I fell off the wagon with
journaling and the Gratitude Journal, so I'm looking forward to
the accountability challenge. So Angelica, I love this tip. I
will for sure have to try adding the mayo to
make it crispier. It's interesting that you spread it on
(05:05):
the outside, but I guess yeah, if you're an avid
grilled cheesemaker, then I totally trussed you. And also, I'm
so glad that you're looking forward to the Gratitude Challenge.
You know if you missed when that's going down. It's
the month of March and the challenge is to write
down four things each day that you're thankful for every
day of the month. But here's the deal. If you
miss a day, no worries. You just joined back in
(05:26):
and you can either do it in your own journal
that you already have, or if you want to get
our four Things Gratitude Journal. It's got encouraging quotes and
stickers and even a couple of family recipes in the
back as a bonus, so there's still time to order
that before the challenge. You can just go to Radio
Amy dot com for any four Things items, okay. Email
(05:55):
number three is from Michelle. Hey, Amy, I recently came
upon one of your episodes where you talked about how
your sister wrote about the feelings she experienced a few
weeks after the loss of your mom. It was titled
Pure Grace. I have to tell you every word of
it touched me to my core. It brought tears to
my eyes remembering those same feelings. You see, I lost
(06:16):
both parents to cancer, my mom in two thousand and
eleven and my dad in two thousand and sixteen. My
mom never made at home with hospice, but my dad did.
We experienced what you all did with my mom at
the facility and with my dad at home. The beauty
and pain of it all. The grief definitely came in
waves and still does, but so did the peace. I've
always felt blessed and grateful to have been able to
(06:39):
be with them both before they left to be with God,
but didn't really understand the grace part of it until today,
and I want to thank you and your sister for that.
It was actually one of the four things I wrote
tonight that I was grateful for today. I just started
journaling my four things to be grateful for yesterday and
I planned to order one of your journals tomorrow. Would
love to help out Haiti and at the same time
(07:00):
keep all of my grateful things in one pretty journal book.
So Michelle, thank you so much for sharing this with me,
and I love that it was one of the four
things that you were thankful for that day. I'm really
glad that the grace part clicked for you after hearing
me share what my sister wrote. You know, I think
it ran as a best of back in December because
(07:22):
I love that episode so much, and if anyone wants
to go listen to it, it's actually called Huddled Over Grace. Now.
Pure grace is mentioned in the post because it's the
type of body wash that my sister was using that
our mom bought for us. But if you want to
read my sister's actual blog post from two thousand and
fifteen that inspired that thing on Grace, I put it
(07:44):
up at radio amy dot com, you know, because sometimes
reading the words is different than hearing them, and my
sister is such a beautiful writer, So definitely go read it,
especially if you're going through something hard right now. It
might even be a blog post that you can share
with someone else that needs it. Again, it's up at
radio amy dot com. Huddled over Grace, Okay. Fourth email
(08:08):
is from Kaylee. Hey, Amy, I've been listening to your
podcast for a while now, and I've heard you mentioned
the specific brand you've started using for your skincare routine.
I just wanted to ask, regardless of the brand, what
your step by step process is at night and in
the morning, assuming you start off with face wash, and
then what do you do from there? Just curious because
(08:29):
all I do is a generic face wash and then moisturize,
but I know there's always something extra to be done,
like under I cream, moisturizing with some sort of SPF
in the morning, et cetera. So Kaylee, Yes, I get
asked this question a lot, so I address it often
because people don't always hear every episode. Now I use
Zoo products, Zeo and Carrie, who is at the Nashville
(08:50):
Beauty Girl on Instagram. She got me hooked on Zoe.
And I'm going to preface this like I always do,
that it's not lost on me that Zoe is pricey.
There was for sure time of my life where I
could not afford such skincare, So don't think for a
second that I'm implying that you should go spend your
money on Zoe. But at this point in my life,
it is doable for me and it has worked wonders
(09:10):
for me. So when you ask, I want to tell
you honestly what I do. Everyone's skin is different, but
the regiment that we have found to work best for
my skin is the zero gentle cleanser morning and night.
And also, I do realize that I call it Zoe
and also zero, because honestly, I don't know exactly what
it's supposed to be called. So if anybody knows, let
(09:30):
me know or I'll have to ask Carrie. But I
think she calls it both too. Then after gentle cleanser,
I use complexion renewal pads morning and night. A pro
tip if you use any sort of pad to save money,
you can use one side. I mean, obviously your hands
are cleans you're picking it up, and you can put
one side on your face and then place it back
(09:51):
into the container and the side that you used, put
that face up so that's not touching the other pads below,
and that can still get the liquid that's in there.
That way, when you go back around to use it
at night, you're still using that same pad, but you're
using the side that you haven't used on your face yet.
Does that make sense? And then you can discard of it
it at night. So that's just a little money saving
(10:14):
tip there because they ain't jeep uh. Then there's a
daily power defense after that morning and night growth factor
after that morning and night, and then I use I cream.
Sometimes I use Zoe, other nights I use burt Bees
from the drug store. So I do recommend adding an
I cream whatever that looks like for you. Now, Kerry says,
if you're on a budget but you want to invest
(10:36):
in one of these items, use a drug store face
wash like Survey foaming facial cleanser. I love that one.
And then invest in zero daily power defense as your moisturizer,
and then that's it. You start there and then build
your way up. But if you can't, no worries, just
get a gentle moisturizer from the drug store too. I
(10:56):
use everything gentle because my skin is so sensitive. That
may not be the case for you, and sometimes it's
trial and error with some products. But just make sure
you're washing your face every night and every morning, and
then remember, moisturizer is your best friend. So if you
listen to me for a long time, you also know
I love a good eye patch in the morning too.
It's my morning treat. I keep them in the refrigerators
(11:17):
so they're nice and cool, and I wake up and
I just throw them under my eyes for five to
ten minutes while I'm doing other things, and then I
go wash my face and get my day going with
all the products. And then the morning I always use SPF.
I recommend that I don't care how old you are.
If you think, God, I've never used SPF, who cares.
I wish I had started when I was way younger.
(11:40):
But all that to say, you can start it now,
you're never too young to start, and then also you're
never too old to start. Just start doing it. And
I use a brand called Revision and it's a tinted
SPF moisturizer that they call in Telshade and I am
obsessed with the stuff. Use it every morning. I apply
it with a damp beauty sponge and I have it
linked on my Amazon Favorites page along with the Mario
(12:01):
Buduscu drying lotion Radio Amy dot com to get direct
access to those links, and I also linked that book
that I talked about last Thursday called Maybe You Should
Talk to Someone, And as you can tell from today's
episode and the number of times that I've mentioned radio
amy dot com, I'm really working on making that website
or resource for you. So if you have a question
about something that you heard me talk about in an episode,
(12:23):
my eventual goal is for you to be able to
just find it at radio ema dot com. But my
mom and popping it over here and doing our best,
so it may not always be there. Um, But that
is a rap on today's episode, and I just want
to thank you for your emails as usual, keep them
coming for things with Amy Brown at gmail dot com
is where you can write something to me. Love hearing
(12:45):
from you, and I'll talk to you again on Thursday. Actually,
Kimberly from Little Big Town is going to be my
guest for all four things, so that will be a
good one. And then I know I mentioned maybe you
should talk to someone the book the author Lori Gotlib
is going to be on the podcast soon. I just
started emailing back and forth with her to try to
(13:06):
find some dates. So that's an exciting upcoming episode. But
this Thursday will be Kimberly Schlatman, and she is amazing.
She's obviously a beautiful singer, but we don't really focus
too much on her music career. And the four things
we're going to discuss really are how she understands grief.
So I know a lot of you might be going
(13:28):
through hard times or if you aren't now it's tough
to keep in your back pocket because grief is a
part of life. So we talk about grief and family.
We also talk about wellness, mind, body, and spirit. A
go to recipe that puts a smile on her face,
and you know, she has a cooking show, so she
knows what she's talking about. And then Lastly, we get
(13:49):
into four things that she is grateful for. So it's
a great episode. I hope you'll check it out this Thursday.