Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Maybe that's Lisa, and we're just two girls that want
to have a conversation with you. Dear sixteen year old Andrea,
Hey gorgeous, Dear younger Lauren. Each episode is stories from people.
I would deprive myself by myself obsessively because I was
eating healthy. I couldn't understand that I had a problem
with food. Losing my period scared me the most. My
story starts when I was around seven. That's when I
(00:24):
started to hate my body. Body image is like our
inner picture of our outer self. Healthy behaviors had a
much bigger role at all health than the actual number
on the scales. Internal dialogue could be so powerful and
often it's puper negative and critical in a way that
we wouldn't talk to other people that we care about.
When you start to share your story, that gives other
(00:44):
people the courage to share theirs. I know you would
be proud now of how far you have come in
your relationship to food, exercise, and to yourself. I felt freedom,
I've gained relationships. I've found my true sense of self worth.
There's one thing I need you to take away. You're
going to be okay. Welcome back to Outweigh. Hello, it's Lisa.
(01:07):
This is a bonus episode, so you're just getting me
no Amy, and I am doing this episode on Thanksgiving,
so hopefully it's Thanksgiving Day morning, Happy Thanksgiving, or happy Holiday.
And really, I just wanted to provide something for you
to kind of go into today feeling like your best self.
Thanksgiving is a tough holiday. I know this year is
(01:27):
still a little bit different, but all the ways we've
kind of been trained to go about Thanksgiving can kind
of just come up. And I want to give you
all the tools that I possibly can to have a
Thanksgiving that's really intentional and aligned with who you are now.
I know that some of you this might be your
first year kind of breaking free from the diet mindset
and being in situations or around family or just Thanksgiving
(01:49):
in general, it can be a very easy way to
kind of fall into perhaps your older mindset, and so
it's really important that we check ourselves and we don't
normalize many of the things that we've normalized around food
around holidays. So Thanksgiving is a special one for me
because some of my strongest memories around my disordered eating
days really center around Thanksgiving because I used to maybe
(02:12):
I will again but obviously not with COVID. Used to
go to my favorite aunt's house, my aunt Nancy up
in New Hampshire, and I love her. She's kind of
just like home for me. And I would bring all
my own food for a year or two years, and
it was kind of like everyone else's food and then
Lisa's food. And while that could be fine in some instances,
(02:33):
for me, there was so much involved with making sure
that I only ate my food and no one touched
my food, and bringing it from New York to New Hampshire,
and then you know, preparing to eat it meant you know,
saving my calories or working out extra and then I
just remember most of all feeling like my head wasn't
connected to anything besides the food, and I went from
so hungry to so full. I couldn't even go on
(02:55):
the family walk afterwards because I had eaten so much,
which I know is very normalized for this holiday. But
when we really begin to recognize that these foods don't
have to be just Thanksgiving Day foods, We could eat
stuffing or turkey if we like those foods any day
of the year, or sweet potatoes with marshmallows if you
guys do that you know, really try and expand out on.
(03:15):
This is a holiday, yes, but what really makes it
special is that it's a day to spend with your
friends and family and be your best you. And that
easily kind of gets lost in the shuffle if we
don't check ourselves. So what I have planned today is
a quick meditation to just prep you for today, kind
of just center you, get you aligned, help you tap
(03:36):
into anything that's beneath you, and then I'm going to
provide some tips as to how you can really go
about feeling your best today, not giving into diet culture,
protecting your boundaries, and overall just being mindful of what
you want to be and how to get there. So
if you wouldn't mind finding a comfortable seated position wherever
(03:57):
you are, give you a few moments to get there.
It's just really important that your back is upright, so
not laying down, and that you're just in a comfortable
position for you. And when you're there, I just want
you to start taking deep breaths through your nose, so
inhaling through your nose and then exhaling through your nose
so your lips are comfortably pressed together as you elongate
(04:22):
those inhales and the excels, and as your breath deepens,
I want you to scan your body for any tension.
Maybe wiggle your jaw, jaws hold a lot of tension.
Maybe even stick your tongue out, opening your mouth, loosening
(04:42):
it up, whatever you need to do. Head on into
your shoulders, lifting them up to your ears and then
letting them drop far away. Breathing and scanning your body.
And I want you to bring a little bit of
attention to your belly and on the inhale, make it
(05:06):
really deep and notice as your belly expands and takes
up space. On the exhale it falls. Now do your
best to not judge that feeling. On the inhale, your
belly expands and takes up all the space, and on
the exhale it relaxes. Because the belly can be a
(05:32):
little bit triggering. And when you just go ahead and
place your hands on your belly inhale, let it take
up space exhale, let it relax. And then maybe bringing
some attention to more neutral areas like your ankles and
your wrists, feel free to roll them out a little bit,
(05:55):
letting that synovial fluid get through our joints, nourishing your
body with breath and gentle movement, and just do one
final scan of your entire body to see where you're
holding tension and exhale release. Hopefully, now you've gotten comfortable
(06:21):
with stillness, you could feel the nourishing breath going into
your body and out of your body. And I want
you to take a moment and think about what your
intention is for today. Maybe start it with I want
to feel blank. And your intention should really just be
what you want to feel today, what do you want
(06:43):
to get out of today? And just give me one
favor and keep it focused on for just today, so
no fears getting in the way of how you're going
to keep this going for the rest of your life
or even to tomorrow. So just for today, I will feel.
That word could be anything, really, but some ideas are RESTful, calm, peaceful, joyful, grateful,
(07:10):
maybe connected either to yourself or to the people around you.
Whatever it is, it's your intention for the day. Repeat
it a few times, just for today, I'll feel Just
for today, I'll feel just for today, I'll feel. Repeating
(07:32):
it in your own head a few times, imagining what
it feels like for that adjective to take up space
in every single cell in every part of your body.
Imagine joy, gratitude, feelings of deep connection, peacefulness or calm,
and every cell of your body returning to your breath
(07:58):
for a few deep breaths, in through the nose and
out through the nose, long inhales, long exhals, and just
one more time here inhale that intention. Just for today,
I will feel and exhale any boundaries that might get
(08:19):
in the way, or tension that you're already expecting. Just
for today, I will feel, I let go of anything
that could get in the way, and just let your
breath return to its natural rhythm, feeling relaxed, safe, self supported,
(08:41):
empowered from within to take yourself into living a life
in line with your intentions. One deep breath to just
close this out, maybe in through the nose and this
time out through the mouth, as if you are fogging
up the window, so your mouth opens for this one
in through the nose, mouth opens, Feel free to use
(09:04):
that hot noise, so one more time together, in through
the nose, out through the mouth. And now either open
a journal or your notes page of your phone and
write down what your intention is. Just for today, I
(09:25):
will feel some things that can or will get in
the way are It could be people, could be situations,
it could be your own self limiting thoughts. Write them down.
We are prepared for what can get in our way
of our intention. We expect a wrench to be thrown
(09:45):
at us only so we can be tested to see
if we can make our way back to our intention.
And now we're gonna come up with your own game plan.
If you feel yourself moving away from this intention, how
will you return to the state that you want to
be in. How will you return, just for today to
that intention. Maybe come up with a word. Maybe your
(10:06):
intention is the word or a gesture that can help
you tap back in. So maybe just repeating that word
that you want peaceful, peaceful, peaceful, We're tapping into that
deep inhale and exhale that we practiced just through the nose.
That's a great way to kind of okay, I'm being triggered.
Let me just take a breath here and recenter. Or
maybe it's just taking a moment to place your hand
(10:27):
over your heart and just recentering yourself, choosing yourself, Choose
how you will be guided into today, and remember to
choose yourself over and over and over again. Great job.
So now I just want to take a few minutes
to give you a few tips for the day. I
used to lead these webinars on mindful eating over the
last few years, and I didn't do one for this
year because I figured could bring it here, uh in
(10:49):
a format that you can listen on your own time,
and you can take notes, and you can do it
however you please. So the first tip that I have
for you, you've already done, and that's to set an
intention way ago. You've already set your intention, you know
what you want to get out of today, and you
can really be on the lookout for anything that could
get in the way of that second piece of information
I want to give you or remind you. Talked about
(11:11):
a little bit in the beginning, but I want to
remind you that we have this idea that foods should
be exclusive to when they should be eaten, whether that's
you know, pancakes are only for breakfast on Sunday or
breakfast Monday through Friday should be oats and eggs, and
dinner should be a vegetable and a protein. I want
you to really shake that up in general, but for
this holiday, I want to be a little bit more
specific and remind you that you could have those candied
(11:32):
yams any day. You could have the apple pie or
the pumpkin pie any day, and we have this idea
that we only have this one chance to have it.
But that's just something that we made up, especially during
the fall seasons when these flavors are abundant. Just remember
you can have them any day. And that's not to
say that you shouldn't have them today, because you could
have them any day. But I want to remove that
(11:54):
scarcity mindset that we sometimes bring into holiday as this
is my one chance, because that is going to again
kind of take you away from that intention of how
you want to feel today. Of course, if you're just
you know, I gotta get all this food, and I
gotta get it in before Thanksgivings up, and I don't
get to have it for another year, your focus is
then being shifted a lot onto the food where it
doesn't have to be. So one of the ways to
(12:15):
stay calm is to remember I can have this cake
today and I can also have it tomorrow. So see
if that mindset helps you a little bit, all right,
next tip is to remember two things. A you don't
need to save your calories for the meal, and you
also don't need to earn them by working out either
before or after. Right, you need food and nourishment every
(12:35):
single day, and the worst thing we could actually do
is save our calories because then we go in absolutely starving. Again,
that's going to interrupt your intention. If you, for example,
chose that you wanted to be calm or connected, this
can help you shift back into that knowing that if
you show up to this meal or you enter Thanksgiving
(12:56):
dinner absolutely starving, you're gonna be so focused on the
food and getting it to your belly that you're not
going to be calm or connected. So chances are if
you chose any of those words, that's going to be
an easy one to return to to interrupt. I want
to feel calm and connected today. Therefore, maybe I should
have my normal meals or at least have a snack
before I make it to this meal. Super important to
(13:17):
you know, have your normal breakfast if you're a breakfast person,
or your lunch if you're a lunch person. H everyone's
a lunch person. Breakfast is a little bit more controversial,
but you know, make sure that you are eating regularly,
and i'd say within the last two hours before your dinner,
make sure that you have something in your stomach so
that you are walking into this meal as your highest
self connected to that intention. Okay, next tip is don't
(13:40):
beat around the bush. I think I talked about this
on Amy's podcast for Things a while ago, but it's
an important one. Nonetheless. I see it all the time.
People want food, whether that's dessert or stuffing, right, and
instead of having that, they'll say, oh, I won't have that,
I'll just have this instead, or I'll have extra of this.
But usually truth is, when we do that, we try
(14:00):
to distract ourselves from what we really want. We end
up having the distraction food and then still thinking about
the original food that we wanted, so that we're having
all of it, which is fine, except if you're getting
uncomfortably full. Wouldn't it be more enjoyable to satisfy yourself
with what the food is that you want, So no
beating around the bush. I want you to say what
(14:21):
do I want and have that. It's really a kind
of as simple as that, going for what you want,
not making yourself run around and have a headache over it.
Just having what you want a holiday like this is
a really empowering one to kind of step into that
power and recognize, I want this food. I'm going to
have this food and see what happens. Reminder to always
(14:43):
bring curiosity to these things. That is how we explore
and get to know ourselves. And that's also how we
displace judgment and shame and guilt. Curiosity is the cure
for just about everything. All right. This is a building
a plate tip, and I want you to take a
moment when you arrive, or when you go up to
the buffet line, or before you build your plate in general,
(15:05):
to really take a good look around. Use your senses
like your eyes to look at the delicious food, your
senses of smell, to take in the aromas, and ask
yourself what do I want. Usually we come in starving, right,
we're like just anything we can get on our plate,
We're piling it on. We have that mindset of I
can only eat these foods once. But with all of
that out of the way, we could actually evaluate what's
(15:25):
in front of us, ask ourselves what looks good, and
then build the plate around that. So we've slowed the
process down a lot, and I want to really urge
you to not make that decision right now. So I
don't want you to decide what you're having before you
get there. I want you to use your eyes and
your nose to help you learn from your body what
it wants. And the key here is again not to
(15:46):
have that plan, because I want your body to be
the guide. And it's very possible that when you do this,
you bring again curiosity to it. So maybe you're not
a sweet potato person, but today those sweet potatoes smell
really good and you want to give them a I.
Or maybe you want to challenge yourself because sweet potatoes
were a fear food of yours, but today this is
a beautiful time to challenge that. Or maybe you normally
(16:08):
love Brussels sprouts, but this year, I don't know. They're
just not calling your name. Something about the way they're cooked.
They don't smell as good as they usually smell, or
they don't look as good as they usually look. Just
too random examples. But remember that only you can be
your own guide, and the best way to do that
is to not show up absolutely starving on empty saving
and earning your calories, and instead just show up having
(16:31):
eaten something in the near ish future, calm, collected, intentional
honoring what your body wants, knowing that you could always
have whatever you didn't get, maybe on the second run
up too, if you have the opportunity. So those are
some of my food tips, and they have been super
helpful to me in the past to just kind of
calm down. There can be a lot of energy around family,
(16:52):
even if it's not a big party this year, it's
still you know, family can bring big energy, So it's
a good way to kind of scale it back, stay
connected to my inten chin, and feel comfortable in my body,
all while enjoying delicious food. I like to always establish
a safe spot, so this was such a big part
of my quote unquote recovery. Showing up to meals noticing
when I was getting triggered or tense around certain conversations
(17:15):
or people and instead of reacting or continuing to shove
food down my face but not really being connected to
how it feels or how it tastes. I don't know
if anybody else gets nervous energy like that, but I
used to get nervous energy and then just eat really
quickly and just not notice anything from the eating except
for just feeling really full, kind of like emotional eating
(17:36):
in some instances. But this really robs us from being
connected to our bodies and our intentions. So when I
start to feel overwhelmed, where I call it itchy sometimes
like oh, this conversation is making me itchy and reactive
and angry, I'll go to my safe spot. Typically in
the past it's just been the bathroom, and it's one
minute to just either look at myself in the mirror,
give myself a pep talk. Lisa, you got this. Your
(17:56):
intention is this. You can do this. You know it
sounds funny, but it works. I'll just take a few
deep breaths there. I love square breathing, and if you're
not familiar, square breathing is done like this. You inhale
for four seconds, hold it for four seconds. Exhale for
four seconds, hold it for four seconds. So take a moment. Actually,
let's just do that together. Inhale for four seconds one,
(18:18):
two three four. Now hold your breath for four seconds
one two three four. Exhale for four three two one,
Now hold for four three two one and repeat that
with the holds with the inhales a few times. And
just a few times completely shifts our bodies out of
(18:41):
what the state it gets to when it is triggered,
which is usually fight or flight response, and that's the
opposite for rest and digest. So when we take a
few breaths to get back to baseline, we're really preparing
our bodies to eat because we are bringing the blood
flow back to where it needs to be, where it
moves away from when we are emotionally triggered, believe it
(19:03):
or not. Next tip, but that's kind of a newer one.
But on my podcast, The Truth is Life, I had
Kelsey Patel on Kelsey is a racky Master and Raky
is just basically transferring energy and which she gave us
great tips on how to be our own healers. But
one of the things Kelsey Patel always does I've had
meals with her, is she Raky's her food. Now, if
this isn't for you, that's fine, but anyone can do it,
(19:24):
by the way, you don't have to be a racky Master.
And it's just one of those ways to bring intention
and gratitude into your life. And it's a practice that
if I'm ever having a meal alone and I remember
to do it, I will do it, and you just
basically hover your hands over your plate and you say
a little prayer, and you can even imagine energy coming
from your hands into the food and your food into
your hands, and it's just a moment to really find
(19:46):
gratitude for all that's in your life. I like to
think about how fortunate I am to have a warm
meal during this time, and all the people that it
took to even get this meal to me, from the
growers to the shippers, to the you know, the supermarket workers,
to all the love that kind of went into it
that really gets displaced by diet fear. And so gratitude really,
(20:09):
as you guys know from Amy's podcast and Amy so
big on gratitude, you know, can really really really change
our mindset and shift us from that scarcity mindset to
an abundant one. So hands over your plate, say a
little prayer to whoever you pray for it or not,
but either just way, just a great way to just
connect to your food and slow down. And then the
last tip I have for today is to not engage,
(20:32):
perhaps today just for today in disagreements. So we had
registered dietitian Sam Private on Saturday's episode of Outweigh hopefully
you heard it. If not, head on back and she
talked about Uncle Larry, and she reminded us that before
engaging in divisive conversation, whether it's about diet culture, or
politics or something else in your family, really ask yourself,
(20:52):
is this person reachable or teachable? And if you are
brand new to your journey of disordered eating and leaving diet,
you may find that you're very eager to share with
the world how toxic this is. Right, we're waking up
to how awful this is. We want to change it.
It's a beautiful thing that we want to be part
of our change. But I have found that oftentimes, when
we're new to the process, it could really be discouraging
(21:15):
to enter these conversations and not walk out with somebody
seeing it our way. So, again, going back to that
first thing that we talked about with our intention of
just for today, I want to remind you that that
doesn't mean that you can't be the change in the
world any other day. But this is just just for
today intention. Maybe it's not the time to have these conversations, right. So,
(21:35):
if you are in a place where Uncle Larry, for example,
is reachable or teachable, and there's an opportunity to have
a conversation and you feel ready to have it, by
all means, go for it. But if you're not there,
you're not doing anything wrong by staying silent. The best
thing that we can do this holiday, or really every
day is to protect our own energy and evaluate when
it's appropriate to teach somebody the quote unquote better way,
(21:58):
and when it's more appropriate it for us to stay
protected and just take care of ourselves. Okay, that was
a lot, and I want to make sure that you
have the day to unplug and recharge. I hope you
have a safe and wonderful day or weekend off. You
certainly deserve it, and we'll see you back on our
way this Saturday, so in just two days for our
(22:19):
next episode. Have a great holiday, everyone,