October 25, 2022 • 23 mins
Welcome to the '5th Thing' with Amy & Kat!! Today’s quote is from a listener that sent us something from @_typelikeagirl: "There's a difference between giving up and knowing that you've had enough." Amy shared about a psychiatric assessment she recently had that led to a conversation about medication & how our brain chemistry changes over time, so stuff we tried years ago that didn’t work…might work for us now…or vice versa. They also share listener emails from Sara & Naomi + we hear a special message from JAX (the artist behind the song ‘Victoria’s Secret’)
Tickets to Amy’s 4 Things LIVE Event In Wichita, Kansas:
https://selectaseat.com/amy
The Shop Forward FALL Collection:
https://www.theshopforward.com/collections/fall-collection
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta + @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Send emails for the '5th Thing' to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat and today's quote comes from well one of
our listeners that d m us Ashley W. Beck shout out.
She sent something I guess that she saw on Instagram
from an account underscore type like a girl. Maybe I
think so that's what it says in the little picture
(00:25):
box that she sent. But she said there is a
difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough,
and so I don't know, do with that what you want?
You could apply that maybe in multiple things in your life,
or just like we say, sometimes keep it in your
back pocket for later, because I think sometimes we can
feel as though we're giving up on something, but really
it's just like you're done. It is done, and so
(00:47):
that is okay. But sometimes we need that extra permission.
You might have to tell yourself that over and over
and over and over and over again. I was just
meeting with a therapist yesterday. I actually had my first
ever psychiatrist appointment. I've never seen a psychoatrist before, because
if you ever needed any kind of medication, you just
(01:07):
go to your normal doctor. Yes, because I have had
meds before, but I'm i knew that I was in
need of building my own team and not just using
my family care practitioner, but you know, support at all angles.
And I think that that's part of me adulting and
maturing on my journey and my my care team. That's
(01:28):
what we're gonna call it. I kept saying that during
me it's like a two hour whole, the whole shebang,
the intake appointment. And it was funny because I don't
medicate for a d h D, but I one hundred
percent have it obviously, and so many of the things
that I was checking off for severe you know, it's mild, moderate, severe,
(01:49):
And I was like, yeah, severe, yep, it's check check, check.
And then she kind of looked at me and she goes, so,
why don't you medicate? And I said, nothing against it.
I have tried medication in the past. It just hasn't
worked for me. And she said, well, there's other things
that have you know, come into the market. She was like,
what if we try strewtera. I said, I tried that
when I was twenty and I did not like it.
(02:10):
She said, well, your your entire it's very different. You've
turned over a lot of things. Your brain is not
the same as when you were twenty, So that's a
time release one. But the problem with that is I
was in college and that's the first time I went
and got medication myself, because I clearly had it in
high school, but my mom didn't medicate me. She didn't
(02:30):
want to, which she had her own reasons, which I
completely respect. But when I got on shrew Tera, I
would sit in class and I would just stare and
I was concentrating all the time, and I didn't like
concentrating all the time. Well, it takes that takes a
little bit of like your personality out right, because you're
just like zoned in. Yeah, And I was like, if
this is what paying attention all the time is, Like,
(02:52):
I don't want to want no apartment. Sorry, didn't do
And then I've done vivance before, and I've done Adderall
for me. Adderall doesn't work. I crash way too hard.
Vivance made my mouth so dry, and I was miserable. Anyway,
The point of this is, if you tried something when
you were twenty, and I'm not even saying it has
to be a medication, it could be a hobby, it
(03:12):
could be uh something else, and you didn't like it,
then well, if you're forty one now, you could go
back to it and see. I like that because I
think I I say that all the time, and I
also hear people say it could be anything. I've tried
that before. But it's like, wait a second, you didn't
like let's just say reading. You didn't like reading when
you were seventeen in high school. Who's to say that
(03:34):
you wouldn't like reading fiction books when you're thirty five, right,
that's me. That's me now. I'm into fiction books and
also reading. And I never was a reader. I wasn't
a kid that carried around a book. I still, honestly,
when I see kids reading for fun, I don't get it.
I I do that now as an adult, but I
just think it's so awesome that they're able to do that.
(03:55):
Or friends that I have, you know, as an adult,
they say, oh, yeah, I read a ton as a kid.
I'm a little jealous of that, but I just have
to accept that wasn't me. It wasn't a thing. But
I do enjoy reading now, So you never know, in
ten years from now, maybe you're forty now, but then
at fifty you suddenly enjoy reading or taking up a
certain hobby or painting, or you know people people person
(04:19):
and now I turned and now I am or maybe
you're done with people, you decide you're done up to
that quote, which I don't know. The reason why I
even brought up my psychiatry appointment was that I have
so much looping in my head all the time, and
when I talked to my therapists and my care team
and certain treatments that I'm doing for my brain is
trying to trying to figure out how to stop the loops,
(04:41):
because it can take me over at times, and I
don't know why I get caught up in it continuous,
because then other times I'll do fine, but then something
will happen and then it loops, and I go to
bed thinking about it, and I wake up thinking about it.
I'm sure I didn't get good sleep because at some
point I was thinking about it while I was sleeping,
and then I end up having and weird dream that
my teeth are falling out. And that's stress, right, they
(05:03):
say if you google that. She asked me in my
appointment if I ever have nightmares, and I said, I've
only a handful of times dreamt that my teeth are
crumbling out of my mouth. And I would say that
is the closest I've gotten to a nightmare. Thank goodness.
I don't really do you dream m. I have really
weird dreams. As you're saying that. This morning I woke
(05:24):
up and I, this is new. I used to not
really remember my dreams, but at least once a week
I have a really strange dream. And last night I
dreamt that I went to a Chinese buffet, which mind
I haven't been to one of those since I was
probably in college, with my boyfriend, his best friend, and
his girlfriend. So we went, we ate, we left, then
(05:47):
we went to a party that was at the mall,
and then we came back to the Chinese restaurant asked
if we could have seconds because we kept our plates
with us they were at our place, and then um,
we sat down and eating and then a mass shooter
came in. Oh gosh, do you think it's because of
the book and the show? It could be the girl alive,
(06:10):
It could be part of that. That's actually didn't think
about that, but you're right, because I was like, what
the heck, but also like I haven't seen his friends
in a couple of weeks, like the last time I
had Chinese food. I don't know, like all those things
are so But as a therapist, what would you do
Clients come in and did they talk about their dreams
and they want you to analyze it? Yeah, but I
think that sometimes one you can be trained in, like
(06:31):
dream analysis, I'm not. I think that there's themes you
can take from it. And if I'm having really like
like vibrant dreams that I remember that are really stressed
when I wake up panicked, that could mean something. But
I just have these like weird like I woke up
feeling fine. I just was like, that was so strange. Well,
first I was going to say it might mean you
need to go get yourself some Chinese food, but then
(06:52):
I was like, no, because something tragic went down at
the end of it. Yeah, there are ways that you
can trickle down into the meaning and of that kind
of stuff. I'm not trained in that, but I just
took it as like this is that was kind of
not the shooting, but the other part was like that
was funny. Well speaking of luckiest girl alive, though, you know,
I was shocked you mentioned this to me. If y'all
it's been out for a couple of weeks now at
(07:13):
this point, but Kat listened to the book, and then
the movie came out on Netflix, which I watched and
I thought it was really good, but I wasn't comparing
it to the book. But then you had told me
you were shocked that there weren't some trigger warnings before
watching it, and I saw a whole article about that
as well, that the ratings should have been are and
there wasn't. Are I don't, I guess not because I
(07:35):
saw that in the headline the other day. Oh my god,
check that. But then it said that there definitely should
have been trigger warnings for some of the stuff that
was shown. So we'll just give that warning now if
you haven't seen it, I recommend it. I liked it,
but I guess you should know that there's some pretty
intense scenes. For me, like reading a book, if you're
(07:56):
starting to read something and you're like, oh, I can't
you just you can shut the book, it feels a
little different than like you're watching a movie and all
of the sudden there's this thing that you didn't expect.
And the scenes in that movie were like, to me,
pretty graphic, like I had not watched a abuse scene
like that. I don't think ever. Yeah, I couldn't. I
had to close my eyes. Yeah, it's a very If
(08:17):
you didn't read the book, the movie was would probably
be really good. The book is so different. It should
have been a TV show, I think. And if you've
read the book, let me know what you think. It
should have been a TV show because then you could
get to everything, because there was such a build up
to get to what happened, and you missed so much
of it. So if you're thinking about watching Luckiest Girl Alive,
(08:38):
be warned, be warned, and don't watch it with your
kids for sure. Sure don't watch it with your Okay,
you want to hear an email? I would love to. Okay,
(08:58):
you want to hear an email? I love to from Sarah,
our listener, Sarah that has sent us multiple notes. She'll
catch you up in the email different things, and we've
we've read Sarah's emails before. She said, dear cute Amy
and Cat. I don't know why she put cute Amy.
That's cute though. Thanks, it's Sarah again. Are you tired
of me yet? I have four quick things. First thing,
(09:20):
I want to let you know how awesome. It's been
to be in touch with Itsel. We've emailed back and
forth several times and it's just the best. Someday I
hope we get to meet. She's made it through her
second round of chemo and says that she's doing well.
It's been so great to have a pen pal and
to just turn my thoughts and prayers to her to
someone other than myself at times. Thanks for connecting us,
which side note does mean talking here now. Itsel is
(09:42):
another listener that sent in an email that we shared
in the fifth thing. Sarah was moved by it wanted
to be connected with her, so I connected them over
email and now they're pen pals. Second thing a quote
or a thought. I can't remember where I ever heard it,
but it popped up on my memories recently, so I
took a screenshot to keep it. It made me think
of Donald Miller in his episode on how You guys
always refer to it when you talk about the idea
(10:05):
of what we're going through preparing us for something in
the future. Here's the quote that I saw. What if
everything you're going through is preparing you for everything you've
ever wanted? She said? Love it. Third Thing. I was
so excited to hear about your live at show. Even
though I live in Phoenix and wasn't even sure I
could make the trip, I still bought two tickets. I've
(10:25):
tried to work out all the different ways, but I
just don't think that it's feasible for me to go
this year. My son is leaving for the Navy in
a few weeks, and my grandmother just turned and I
just had to pull all of my time and resources
to going to visit both of them. Nevertheless, I still
have the tickets, and I would love to gift them
to someone else in the four Things community. Maybe I
(10:46):
bought them for someone else who needs to be there.
Is there some way that you can help me gift
them to someone who can be there? Which side note
me talking here. I have arranged a call with Sarah,
so we're going to try to figure out how to
gift these, whether it's through the podcast or maybe on Instagram,
at Radio Amy, maybe a giveaway on there. I'm not
(11:09):
quite sure. I don't know. It isn't that so sweet
of her? Yeah, because she could have been like, I
need to get a refund. I don't know if that's possible,
but like to even not even have that thought and
be like, well, this would be a cool thing. I know. Okay,
fourth thing. I was wondering if you'd ever do a
special edition for things pull pull over or zipper, pouch
or bag with four of cats sayings, Oh my gosh,
(11:30):
what am I saying? Have she put have this thing? One?
The day is thing too? You need a thing three
and then to have a thing four. Well, some of
that stuff is customizable, so you could just make it
as you want if you wanted to put that on
a pouch or something or four things to But also
Cat has made her own merch that says have the
(11:50):
day you need to have, which you had merched well before.
I knew you've been into making sweatshirts for a while,
but you just don't. I didn't really put a lot
of effort in to it before, but then I was like, wait,
I want something that says this that I want to wear.
And people kept asking when stickers the stickers? But stickers
are so easy to make and I just like to
(12:11):
give them away a lot of the time. But wait,
I never thought about putting that on a bag. Yeah.
I hadn't either, but people could customize it on a
bag if they want it on a toe or a pouch.
But also your cat is wearing her have the Day
you need to have sweatshirt right now. It's really pretty
purple and I love it. I am obsessed with a
sweats and I will live in it. But yeah, if
you want something that says how the day you have?
(12:33):
Follow me on Instagram because I'm working on putting that
stuff out. Should they follow your personal account or they
you need therapy? They should follow both because sometimes I
forget what account I'm posting on, and so just to
be in the no, just so you need therapy podcast
and then at cat dot de Fata is her personal one,
and then for four Things stuff, you can just hit
up four things dot com and feel good about it
(12:54):
knowing that it's going to support Haiti. To finish up
Sarah's email, she said, loving a dore you both so much.
I'm so excited to hear about the recording of the
live event and hope you'll do more. Never suppress a
generous thought, your friend, Sarah, she was the original never Okay,
thanks for putting that full circle. Okay, She's the o G.
Never suppressed a generous thought, So Sarah, thank you so
(13:18):
much for this note. And we're going to figure out
a way to give these tickets to two people in
our four Things community and they're going to get to
come to the show. And I love that she says, here,
maybe I bought them for someone else who needs to
be there. Love it, which maybe you did. And I
love that she was even only fifty sure and she
went all in about two She's like, I'm just gonna
(13:39):
go for it. So so cool. I have another email,
and this one is from Naomi. Hey, Amy, I'm a
longtime listener of the Bobby Bones Showing four Things podcast.
I do have a question, but I wanted to share
something with you. Also, I've been m i a for
a while because my health spiraled and it's put me
in a pretty dark place. Long story short, I opted
to have my thyroid removed due to a benigh growth.
(14:00):
Once removed, it turned out that the initial biopsy didn't
catch the cancer, so good thing I had it removed. Fortunately,
all of the cancer was removed and I'm good on
that front. However, this led to serious hormone imbalances, uncontrollable
weight gain, major sleep issues, and it put me in
a dark place. Looking back, I was like a zombie,
going through the days, following the routine for my family,
(14:21):
but never really present. I have just lived like this
for a year and a half. Now I'm thankful to
say that I'm finally snapping out of it and getting
help to fix the snowball that has been my life.
I'm very fortunate to have people that love me and
are brave enough to have tough conversations with me. Anyway,
during this dark time, I couldn't bring myself to listen
to four Things because it just wasn't feeling worthy of
(14:43):
self love, positivity and joy that it brings. I'm happy
to say I'm back and I've missed you terribly. I've
also missed this happy place that you have created for
so many. It feels good to laugh, smile, and even
happy cry a little again. I know this is corny,
but I just wanted to say thanks for giving me
this space. Now onto my question. I know you're familiar
with the Victoria's Secret documentary. I watched it after I
(15:05):
heard you talk about it. Have you heard of Jack's
She's a singer. I know her from TikTok and she
wrote a song called Victoria's Secret. It is the ultimate
girl anthem and fits so well with four things and
that way. A boy in the neighborhood told my ten
year old daughter she needed to lay off the food
a few weeks ago, and it's been our household anthem
ever since. I'm getting totally off track here, but I'd
(15:27):
love it if you had Jack's on the podcast. I'd
love to hear her story. Thanks for taking the time,
your friend, at least in my mind, which yeah, Naomi,
I know that that made me laugh, Which Naomi, I'm
so sorry that you had such a taxing year and
a half. That is a lot for anybody to take on.
(15:47):
So I think that finding yourself in a dark place
during that feels appropriate to me. But luckily you did
have people that had some conversations with you, and we're
going to help you to get out of that, and
you're you can see the light now, and I'm glad
you're back. I can understand needing a take or break
from certain things, you know, when you're going through something. Um,
(16:10):
but I do have a surprise. This is a recording
that I got with Jack's. I met Jack's at our
I Heart Radio festival in Vegas. She was at the
Daytime Village, our daytime concerts, so there's an evening concert
Friday night and Saturday night, and then we have a
daytime stage. And I'm walking to the car because we're done,
(16:31):
and I see Jack's walking up and I can't help
myself and I say, Hi Jack, I'm Amy and I'm
a podcast. It's called That Way and it's dedicated to
eating disort of Recovery. And so many people have emailed
me about your song Victoria's Secret, and just having you
on the podcast because what happened was she was nannying
(16:51):
a girl, which, similar to Naomi's daughter was told by
another student. I think it may be a pool party
or something that she didn't look out in her swimsuit,
you know, and Naomi's poor daughters lay off the food.
Oh my goodness, don't even I kind of want know
why I ought who uh, which, I know kids are
kids are kids are mean. We could be mean. I
(17:13):
know that I said I have to own when I
was a kid there were things that I did that
for mean and looking back, like, I hate that I
ever said that to someone or oh yeah, I don't
like even thinking about it because I know one for time.
One time in particular, I just kind of joined in
on something that was happening on our bus. And I
wasn't a bully, but in that moment I was, you know,
(17:34):
because MP in with that. I mean, well I was
a part of it, and I mean we were fighting,
like me and the girl obviously young, probably second grade.
But I don't like thinking about it, but I'm not
proud of it. But I could easily have been lumped
in to being a bully in that moment. I remember it.
There was day and now I hate it, but we eventually,
I think made up. She was a neighbor, Sarah, if
(17:56):
you're listening to this, I'm very sorry. Like I'm matured,
and I still think about at as not one of
my finest moments at all. So I hope that at
some of these kids that end up having these experiences
that have said something that later in life they you
know what, I'm glad you said that, because I think
I've told you the story about like when I was
in fifth grade, the girl that like, I was playing
(18:16):
kickball with my class and this girl was like walked
by and yelled like she called me Katherine to Fatah
and she said, you need to start drinking strawberry slim
fast instead of strawberry milkshakes, like yelled it while I
was playing kick ball with my class. Oh my god.
Which I can trace all of my stuff, like all
my body image stuff, Like I think I would have
(18:37):
had body image things anyway because of who want? I
just am a woman in America. But fifth grade was
like a pivotal year, and I remember that like it
was yesterday. However, and I remember this girl's name. I
will never forget it, but I always think back on
that experience, and I think back on her as like
(18:57):
she is still that mean person. Wouldn't reality. Maybe she
remembers that story and she has so much shame about it,
but we're not connected anymore, so it's not like she's
going to reach out to me. So hearing you say,
like I still remember doing that, and I feel so bad,
it's really helpful because I think back on this girl
is like just a mean bully who never ever like
(19:17):
thought twice about what she's she's done. But like maybe
she's been in therapy talking about how she was a
bully and that's her shame, you know. Yeah, So thank
you for that and Also, I'll never forget it a
moment where I mean, yeah, I I remember it, and
I don't know why we were fighting, but we had
times where we got along and then we didn't. But
(19:38):
my my nastiness was because of my own hurting that
I had going on. And I can see that now,
and so I can even have compassion for whoever said
lay off the food a little bit. Maybe they're feeling
insecure about the food they eat and they're projecting. I
don't know, I hate that for your daughter. But I
did run into Jack's. Oh I think I was saying
Jack's was a nanny and the daughter or the girl's
(20:00):
she was nanny and was made fun of for he swimsuit.
And so that's when Jack's went and wrote Victory's Secret,
and then she played it for her and posted her
reaction on TikTok and then it took off and went viral.
And now Jack's is playing our I Heart Radio jingle
Ball in New York. So I think she's playing Madison
Square Garden. Yeah, and so it's crazy. She's a really
talented songwriter. She has other songs too. But when I
(20:22):
was telling her about Outweigh, she said, oh, well, let's
make a video message for them. That would be so cool,
and I'm just I can play that here now. So
Naomi played this message for your daughter. It's not necessarily
for her, but it'll be cool for her to hear
Jack's endorsing Outweigh and the community and what we're trying
(20:42):
to do. So here's the little clip from Jack's He's
so guys, I am Jacks. I'm a really big fan
of out Way, and I love and love, love, love
the whole team. I love what you guys are doing.
Jack's we love you and your message and her song
well a lot of yours, but your songs are so good,
and everybody from the podcast, they're so inspired by the
(21:04):
Way not Value all the time. I can't wait to
join the podcast one day. I want to be there,
promise all right. So that was something fun that's so
cool I wanted to share. And again she did say
she will be coming on the podcast, so that's my
ticket to get her at some point. I think she
said she might even be in Nashville, so maybe we
(21:24):
could book something in person. But I'll work on making
that happen. And then Naomi, your daughter can listen to
that episode I love that that song is her anthem.
Crank it up. Music can be very therapeutic and healing,
and so you get to music. I've been working on
the playlist for The Four Things Live and I've got
some fun pop up songs. You know, it's kind of
(21:45):
fun to think of the energy in the beginning, and
you know, bringing some Lizzos, You're gonna put some do
kat on there, and well mostly some maybe some biggie
hypnotize because I feel like there's gonna be a lot
of people they're my age, like some throwbacks, but then yes,
some currents that would pump pump pump me. I'm Anita. Okay,
(22:08):
So if y'all do want to come to the live,
just hit up select a Seat dot com. Slash Amy
Cat will be doing some stuff with me there. My
sister will be joining for a thing. It's four different
things because the Four Things podcast and fun little surprises
from artists and some words of wisdom from them, and
(22:29):
you know, I feel like it's going to be a
little bit of a roller coaster, but should be fine.
Not a roller coaster in a bad way. I mean
of emotions for some people. Am I a different way,
but there's be like laughter, there's gonna be some honesty
and keeping it real and raw moments. Maybe I don't know.
I am somewhat of a I like things to unfold organically,
(22:50):
but then when it comes to something like this and
I know that people have paid their hard earn money
to come and have this evening, I want to make
sure they walk a way with an experience and like wow.
So there is a lot of planning that has gone
into it, but it's hard to say how it's going
to all unfold because again I sort of am fly
by the seat of my hands kind of girl moment
(23:12):
to moment, you know. So we will see you all
there cannot wait. And again that's select a seat dot
com slash Amy and uh, I guess I'll see y'all
on Thursday for four things. And that's our show. Thanks,
thank you. Okay, go and that's our show. Thank you.
(23:33):
We have to work on it again, okay next bye
bye
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Cat and today's quote comes from well one of
our listeners that d m us Ashley W. Beck shout out.
She sent something I guess that she saw on Instagram
from an account underscore type like a girl. Maybe I
think so that's what it says in the little picture
(00:25):
box that she sent. But she said there is a
difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough,
and so I don't know, do with that what you want?
You could apply that maybe in multiple things in your life,
or just like we say, sometimes keep it in your
back pocket for later, because I think sometimes we can
feel as though we're giving up on something, but really
it's just like you're done. It is done, and so
(00:47):
that is okay. But sometimes we need that extra permission.
You might have to tell yourself that over and over
and over and over and over again. I was just
meeting with a therapist yesterday. I actually had my first
ever psychiatrist appointment. I've never seen a psychoatrist before, because
if you ever needed any kind of medication, you just
(01:07):
go to your normal doctor. Yes, because I have had
meds before, but I'm i knew that I was in
need of building my own team and not just using
my family care practitioner, but you know, support at all angles.
And I think that that's part of me adulting and
maturing on my journey and my my care team. That's
(01:28):
what we're gonna call it. I kept saying that during
me it's like a two hour whole, the whole shebang,
the intake appointment. And it was funny because I don't
medicate for a d h D, but I one hundred
percent have it obviously, and so many of the things
that I was checking off for severe you know, it's mild, moderate, severe,
(01:49):
And I was like, yeah, severe, yep, it's check check, check.
And then she kind of looked at me and she goes, so,
why don't you medicate? And I said, nothing against it.
I have tried medication in the past. It just hasn't
worked for me. And she said, well, there's other things
that have you know, come into the market. She was like,
what if we try strewtera. I said, I tried that
when I was twenty and I did not like it.
(02:10):
She said, well, your your entire it's very different. You've
turned over a lot of things. Your brain is not
the same as when you were twenty, So that's a
time release one. But the problem with that is I
was in college and that's the first time I went
and got medication myself, because I clearly had it in
high school, but my mom didn't medicate me. She didn't
(02:30):
want to, which she had her own reasons, which I
completely respect. But when I got on shrew Tera, I
would sit in class and I would just stare and
I was concentrating all the time, and I didn't like
concentrating all the time. Well, it takes that takes a
little bit of like your personality out right, because you're
just like zoned in. Yeah, And I was like, if
this is what paying attention all the time is, Like,
(02:52):
I don't want to want no apartment. Sorry, didn't do
And then I've done vivance before, and I've done Adderall
for me. Adderall doesn't work. I crash way too hard.
Vivance made my mouth so dry, and I was miserable. Anyway,
The point of this is, if you tried something when
you were twenty, and I'm not even saying it has
to be a medication, it could be a hobby, it
(03:12):
could be uh something else, and you didn't like it,
then well, if you're forty one now, you could go
back to it and see. I like that because I
think I I say that all the time, and I
also hear people say it could be anything. I've tried
that before. But it's like, wait a second, you didn't
like let's just say reading. You didn't like reading when
you were seventeen in high school. Who's to say that
(03:34):
you wouldn't like reading fiction books when you're thirty five, right,
that's me. That's me now. I'm into fiction books and
also reading. And I never was a reader. I wasn't
a kid that carried around a book. I still, honestly,
when I see kids reading for fun, I don't get it.
I I do that now as an adult, but I
just think it's so awesome that they're able to do that.
(03:55):
Or friends that I have, you know, as an adult,
they say, oh, yeah, I read a ton as a kid.
I'm a little jealous of that, but I just have
to accept that wasn't me. It wasn't a thing. But
I do enjoy reading now, So you never know, in
ten years from now, maybe you're forty now, but then
at fifty you suddenly enjoy reading or taking up a
certain hobby or painting, or you know people people person
(04:19):
and now I turned and now I am or maybe
you're done with people, you decide you're done up to
that quote, which I don't know. The reason why I
even brought up my psychiatry appointment was that I have
so much looping in my head all the time, and
when I talked to my therapists and my care team
and certain treatments that I'm doing for my brain is
trying to trying to figure out how to stop the loops,
(04:41):
because it can take me over at times, and I
don't know why I get caught up in it continuous,
because then other times I'll do fine, but then something
will happen and then it loops, and I go to
bed thinking about it, and I wake up thinking about it.
I'm sure I didn't get good sleep because at some
point I was thinking about it while I was sleeping,
and then I end up having and weird dream that
my teeth are falling out. And that's stress, right, they
(05:03):
say if you google that. She asked me in my
appointment if I ever have nightmares, and I said, I've
only a handful of times dreamt that my teeth are
crumbling out of my mouth. And I would say that
is the closest I've gotten to a nightmare. Thank goodness.
I don't really do you dream m. I have really
weird dreams. As you're saying that. This morning I woke
(05:24):
up and I, this is new. I used to not
really remember my dreams, but at least once a week
I have a really strange dream. And last night I
dreamt that I went to a Chinese buffet, which mind
I haven't been to one of those since I was
probably in college, with my boyfriend, his best friend, and
his girlfriend. So we went, we ate, we left, then
(05:47):
we went to a party that was at the mall,
and then we came back to the Chinese restaurant asked
if we could have seconds because we kept our plates
with us they were at our place, and then um,
we sat down and eating and then a mass shooter
came in. Oh gosh, do you think it's because of
the book and the show? It could be the girl alive,
(06:10):
It could be part of that. That's actually didn't think
about that, but you're right, because I was like, what
the heck, but also like I haven't seen his friends
in a couple of weeks, like the last time I
had Chinese food. I don't know, like all those things
are so But as a therapist, what would you do
Clients come in and did they talk about their dreams
and they want you to analyze it? Yeah, but I
think that sometimes one you can be trained in, like
(06:31):
dream analysis, I'm not. I think that there's themes you
can take from it. And if I'm having really like
like vibrant dreams that I remember that are really stressed
when I wake up panicked, that could mean something. But
I just have these like weird like I woke up
feeling fine. I just was like, that was so strange. Well,
first I was going to say it might mean you
need to go get yourself some Chinese food, but then
(06:52):
I was like, no, because something tragic went down at
the end of it. Yeah, there are ways that you
can trickle down into the meaning and of that kind
of stuff. I'm not trained in that, but I just
took it as like this is that was kind of
not the shooting, but the other part was like that
was funny. Well speaking of luckiest girl alive, though, you know,
I was shocked you mentioned this to me. If y'all
it's been out for a couple of weeks now at
(07:13):
this point, but Kat listened to the book, and then
the movie came out on Netflix, which I watched and
I thought it was really good, but I wasn't comparing
it to the book. But then you had told me
you were shocked that there weren't some trigger warnings before
watching it, and I saw a whole article about that
as well, that the ratings should have been are and
there wasn't. Are I don't, I guess not because I
(07:35):
saw that in the headline the other day. Oh my god,
check that. But then it said that there definitely should
have been trigger warnings for some of the stuff that
was shown. So we'll just give that warning now if
you haven't seen it, I recommend it. I liked it,
but I guess you should know that there's some pretty
intense scenes. For me, like reading a book, if you're
(07:56):
starting to read something and you're like, oh, I can't
you just you can shut the book, it feels a
little different than like you're watching a movie and all
of the sudden there's this thing that you didn't expect.
And the scenes in that movie were like, to me,
pretty graphic, like I had not watched a abuse scene
like that. I don't think ever. Yeah, I couldn't. I
had to close my eyes. Yeah, it's a very If
(08:17):
you didn't read the book, the movie was would probably
be really good. The book is so different. It should
have been a TV show, I think. And if you've
read the book, let me know what you think. It
should have been a TV show because then you could
get to everything, because there was such a build up
to get to what happened, and you missed so much
of it. So if you're thinking about watching Luckiest Girl Alive,
(08:38):
be warned, be warned, and don't watch it with your
kids for sure. Sure don't watch it with your Okay,
you want to hear an email? I would love to. Okay,
(08:58):
you want to hear an email? I love to from Sarah,
our listener, Sarah that has sent us multiple notes. She'll
catch you up in the email different things, and we've
we've read Sarah's emails before. She said, dear cute Amy
and Cat. I don't know why she put cute Amy.
That's cute though. Thanks, it's Sarah again. Are you tired
of me yet? I have four quick things. First thing,
(09:20):
I want to let you know how awesome. It's been
to be in touch with Itsel. We've emailed back and
forth several times and it's just the best. Someday I
hope we get to meet. She's made it through her
second round of chemo and says that she's doing well.
It's been so great to have a pen pal and
to just turn my thoughts and prayers to her to
someone other than myself at times. Thanks for connecting us,
which side note does mean talking here now. Itsel is
(09:42):
another listener that sent in an email that we shared
in the fifth thing. Sarah was moved by it wanted
to be connected with her, so I connected them over
email and now they're pen pals. Second thing a quote
or a thought. I can't remember where I ever heard it,
but it popped up on my memories recently, so I
took a screenshot to keep it. It made me think
of Donald Miller in his episode on how You guys
always refer to it when you talk about the idea
(10:05):
of what we're going through preparing us for something in
the future. Here's the quote that I saw. What if
everything you're going through is preparing you for everything you've
ever wanted? She said? Love it. Third Thing. I was
so excited to hear about your live at show. Even
though I live in Phoenix and wasn't even sure I
could make the trip, I still bought two tickets. I've
(10:25):
tried to work out all the different ways, but I
just don't think that it's feasible for me to go
this year. My son is leaving for the Navy in
a few weeks, and my grandmother just turned and I
just had to pull all of my time and resources
to going to visit both of them. Nevertheless, I still
have the tickets, and I would love to gift them
to someone else in the four Things community. Maybe I
(10:46):
bought them for someone else who needs to be there.
Is there some way that you can help me gift
them to someone who can be there? Which side note
me talking here. I have arranged a call with Sarah,
so we're going to try to figure out how to
gift these, whether it's through the podcast or maybe on Instagram,
at Radio Amy, maybe a giveaway on there. I'm not
(11:09):
quite sure. I don't know. It isn't that so sweet
of her? Yeah, because she could have been like, I
need to get a refund. I don't know if that's possible,
but like to even not even have that thought and
be like, well, this would be a cool thing. I know. Okay,
fourth thing. I was wondering if you'd ever do a
special edition for things pull pull over or zipper, pouch
or bag with four of cats sayings, Oh my gosh,
(11:30):
what am I saying? Have she put have this thing? One?
The day is thing too? You need a thing three
and then to have a thing four. Well, some of
that stuff is customizable, so you could just make it
as you want if you wanted to put that on
a pouch or something or four things to But also
Cat has made her own merch that says have the
(11:50):
day you need to have, which you had merched well before.
I knew you've been into making sweatshirts for a while,
but you just don't. I didn't really put a lot
of effort in to it before, but then I was like, wait,
I want something that says this that I want to wear.
And people kept asking when stickers the stickers? But stickers
are so easy to make and I just like to
(12:11):
give them away a lot of the time. But wait,
I never thought about putting that on a bag. Yeah.
I hadn't either, but people could customize it on a
bag if they want it on a toe or a pouch.
But also your cat is wearing her have the Day
you need to have sweatshirt right now. It's really pretty
purple and I love it. I am obsessed with a
sweats and I will live in it. But yeah, if
you want something that says how the day you have?
(12:33):
Follow me on Instagram because I'm working on putting that
stuff out. Should they follow your personal account or they
you need therapy? They should follow both because sometimes I
forget what account I'm posting on, and so just to
be in the no, just so you need therapy podcast
and then at cat dot de Fata is her personal one,
and then for four Things stuff, you can just hit
up four things dot com and feel good about it
(12:54):
knowing that it's going to support Haiti. To finish up
Sarah's email, she said, loving a dore you both so much.
I'm so excited to hear about the recording of the
live event and hope you'll do more. Never suppress a
generous thought, your friend, Sarah, she was the original never Okay,
thanks for putting that full circle. Okay, She's the o G.
Never suppressed a generous thought, So Sarah, thank you so
(13:18):
much for this note. And we're going to figure out
a way to give these tickets to two people in
our four Things community and they're going to get to
come to the show. And I love that she says, here,
maybe I bought them for someone else who needs to
be there. Love it, which maybe you did. And I
love that she was even only fifty sure and she
went all in about two She's like, I'm just gonna
(13:39):
go for it. So so cool. I have another email,
and this one is from Naomi. Hey, Amy, I'm a
longtime listener of the Bobby Bones Showing four Things podcast.
I do have a question, but I wanted to share
something with you. Also, I've been m i a for
a while because my health spiraled and it's put me
in a pretty dark place. Long story short, I opted
to have my thyroid removed due to a benigh growth.
(14:00):
Once removed, it turned out that the initial biopsy didn't
catch the cancer, so good thing I had it removed. Fortunately,
all of the cancer was removed and I'm good on
that front. However, this led to serious hormone imbalances, uncontrollable
weight gain, major sleep issues, and it put me in
a dark place. Looking back, I was like a zombie,
going through the days, following the routine for my family,
(14:21):
but never really present. I have just lived like this
for a year and a half. Now I'm thankful to
say that I'm finally snapping out of it and getting
help to fix the snowball that has been my life.
I'm very fortunate to have people that love me and
are brave enough to have tough conversations with me. Anyway,
during this dark time, I couldn't bring myself to listen
to four Things because it just wasn't feeling worthy of
(14:43):
self love, positivity and joy that it brings. I'm happy
to say I'm back and I've missed you terribly. I've
also missed this happy place that you have created for
so many. It feels good to laugh, smile, and even
happy cry a little again. I know this is corny,
but I just wanted to say thanks for giving me
this space. Now onto my question. I know you're familiar
with the Victoria's Secret documentary. I watched it after I
(15:05):
heard you talk about it. Have you heard of Jack's
She's a singer. I know her from TikTok and she
wrote a song called Victoria's Secret. It is the ultimate
girl anthem and fits so well with four things and
that way. A boy in the neighborhood told my ten
year old daughter she needed to lay off the food
a few weeks ago, and it's been our household anthem
ever since. I'm getting totally off track here, but I'd
(15:27):
love it if you had Jack's on the podcast. I'd
love to hear her story. Thanks for taking the time,
your friend, at least in my mind, which yeah, Naomi,
I know that that made me laugh, Which Naomi, I'm
so sorry that you had such a taxing year and
a half. That is a lot for anybody to take on.
(15:47):
So I think that finding yourself in a dark place
during that feels appropriate to me. But luckily you did
have people that had some conversations with you, and we're
going to help you to get out of that, and
you're you can see the light now, and I'm glad
you're back. I can understand needing a take or break
from certain things, you know, when you're going through something. Um,
(16:10):
but I do have a surprise. This is a recording
that I got with Jack's. I met Jack's at our
I Heart Radio festival in Vegas. She was at the
Daytime Village, our daytime concerts, so there's an evening concert
Friday night and Saturday night, and then we have a
daytime stage. And I'm walking to the car because we're done,
(16:31):
and I see Jack's walking up and I can't help
myself and I say, Hi Jack, I'm Amy and I'm
a podcast. It's called That Way and it's dedicated to
eating disort of Recovery. And so many people have emailed
me about your song Victoria's Secret, and just having you
on the podcast because what happened was she was nannying
(16:51):
a girl, which, similar to Naomi's daughter was told by
another student. I think it may be a pool party
or something that she didn't look out in her swimsuit,
you know, and Naomi's poor daughters lay off the food.
Oh my goodness, don't even I kind of want know
why I ought who uh, which, I know kids are
kids are kids are mean. We could be mean. I
(17:13):
know that I said I have to own when I
was a kid there were things that I did that
for mean and looking back, like, I hate that I
ever said that to someone or oh yeah, I don't
like even thinking about it because I know one for time.
One time in particular, I just kind of joined in
on something that was happening on our bus. And I
wasn't a bully, but in that moment I was, you know,
(17:34):
because MP in with that. I mean, well I was
a part of it, and I mean we were fighting,
like me and the girl obviously young, probably second grade.
But I don't like thinking about it, but I'm not
proud of it. But I could easily have been lumped
in to being a bully in that moment. I remember it.
There was day and now I hate it, but we eventually,
I think made up. She was a neighbor, Sarah, if
(17:56):
you're listening to this, I'm very sorry. Like I'm matured,
and I still think about at as not one of
my finest moments at all. So I hope that at
some of these kids that end up having these experiences
that have said something that later in life they you
know what, I'm glad you said that, because I think
I've told you the story about like when I was
in fifth grade, the girl that like, I was playing
(18:16):
kickball with my class and this girl was like walked
by and yelled like she called me Katherine to Fatah
and she said, you need to start drinking strawberry slim
fast instead of strawberry milkshakes, like yelled it while I
was playing kick ball with my class. Oh my god.
Which I can trace all of my stuff, like all
my body image stuff, Like I think I would have
(18:37):
had body image things anyway because of who want? I
just am a woman in America. But fifth grade was
like a pivotal year, and I remember that like it
was yesterday. However, and I remember this girl's name. I
will never forget it, but I always think back on
that experience, and I think back on her as like
(18:57):
she is still that mean person. Wouldn't reality. Maybe she
remembers that story and she has so much shame about it,
but we're not connected anymore, so it's not like she's
going to reach out to me. So hearing you say,
like I still remember doing that, and I feel so bad,
it's really helpful because I think back on this girl
is like just a mean bully who never ever like
(19:17):
thought twice about what she's she's done. But like maybe
she's been in therapy talking about how she was a
bully and that's her shame, you know. Yeah, So thank
you for that and Also, I'll never forget it a
moment where I mean, yeah, I I remember it, and
I don't know why we were fighting, but we had
times where we got along and then we didn't. But
(19:38):
my my nastiness was because of my own hurting that
I had going on. And I can see that now,
and so I can even have compassion for whoever said
lay off the food a little bit. Maybe they're feeling
insecure about the food they eat and they're projecting. I
don't know, I hate that for your daughter. But I
did run into Jack's. Oh I think I was saying
Jack's was a nanny and the daughter or the girl's
(20:00):
she was nanny and was made fun of for he swimsuit.
And so that's when Jack's went and wrote Victory's Secret,
and then she played it for her and posted her
reaction on TikTok and then it took off and went viral.
And now Jack's is playing our I Heart Radio jingle
Ball in New York. So I think she's playing Madison
Square Garden. Yeah, and so it's crazy. She's a really
talented songwriter. She has other songs too. But when I
(20:22):
was telling her about Outweigh, she said, oh, well, let's
make a video message for them. That would be so cool,
and I'm just I can play that here now. So
Naomi played this message for your daughter. It's not necessarily
for her, but it'll be cool for her to hear
Jack's endorsing Outweigh and the community and what we're trying
(20:42):
to do. So here's the little clip from Jack's He's
so guys, I am Jacks. I'm a really big fan
of out Way, and I love and love, love, love
the whole team. I love what you guys are doing.
Jack's we love you and your message and her song
well a lot of yours, but your songs are so good,
and everybody from the podcast, they're so inspired by the
(21:04):
Way not Value all the time. I can't wait to
join the podcast one day. I want to be there,
promise all right. So that was something fun that's so
cool I wanted to share. And again she did say
she will be coming on the podcast, so that's my
ticket to get her at some point. I think she
said she might even be in Nashville, so maybe we
(21:24):
could book something in person. But I'll work on making
that happen. And then Naomi, your daughter can listen to
that episode I love that that song is her anthem.
Crank it up. Music can be very therapeutic and healing,
and so you get to music. I've been working on
the playlist for The Four Things Live and I've got
some fun pop up songs. You know, it's kind of
(21:45):
fun to think of the energy in the beginning, and
you know, bringing some Lizzos, You're gonna put some do
kat on there, and well mostly some maybe some biggie
hypnotize because I feel like there's gonna be a lot
of people they're my age, like some throwbacks, but then yes,
some currents that would pump pump pump me. I'm Anita. Okay,
(22:08):
So if y'all do want to come to the live,
just hit up select a Seat dot com. Slash Amy
Cat will be doing some stuff with me there. My
sister will be joining for a thing. It's four different
things because the Four Things podcast and fun little surprises
from artists and some words of wisdom from them, and
(22:29):
you know, I feel like it's going to be a
little bit of a roller coaster, but should be fine.
Not a roller coaster in a bad way. I mean
of emotions for some people. Am I a different way,
but there's be like laughter, there's gonna be some honesty
and keeping it real and raw moments. Maybe I don't know.
I am somewhat of a I like things to unfold organically,
(22:50):
but then when it comes to something like this and
I know that people have paid their hard earn money
to come and have this evening, I want to make
sure they walk a way with an experience and like wow.
So there is a lot of planning that has gone
into it, but it's hard to say how it's going
to all unfold because again I sort of am fly
by the seat of my hands kind of girl moment
(23:12):
to moment, you know. So we will see you all
there cannot wait. And again that's select a seat dot
com slash Amy and uh, I guess I'll see y'all
on Thursday for four things. And that's our show. Thanks,
thank you. Okay, go and that's our show. Thank you.
(23:33):
We have to work on it again, okay next bye
bye
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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