November 30, 2023 • 40 mins
Financial expert, Rachel Cruze, joins Amy to talk about her new book I'm Glad For What I Have. “It’s ok to have nice stuff, just don’t let your stuff have you” is something Rachel often says, so it was important for her to write this book to spark meaningful conversations with kids about entitlement and contentment.
Amy & Rachel also talk about the top things we get wrong about money, creative side hustles, money ‘trends’ that are draining our bank accounts, when to discuss money when dating, and recommendations for listeners (especially women) who need to ask for a raise.
ABOUT RACHEL:
Rachel is a two-time #1 national bestselling author (Know Yourself Know Your Money and Love Your Life Not Theirs: 7 Money Habits For Loving The Life You Want.) She's also the Host of The Rachel Cruze Show and co-host of Smart Money Happy Hour.
HOST:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
GUEST:
Rachel Cruze // @rachelcruze (Instagram, Twitter (X) & TikTok)
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Cats up Little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey,
it's pretty beautiful, beautiful for that for a little more
said he You're kicking with four with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Brown, Happy Thursday, four Things. Amy here, and I know
on Tuesday, during the fifth Thing this week, I teased
that the Gift Guide episode would go up today, and
it's still gonna go up, but it's gonna be a
bonus episode on Sunday because I am working on some
really cool giveaways to incorporate into the episode, like a
(00:53):
really cool package of awesome things that you're definitely gonna want,
and I want to have everything final before I upload
the episode, so look for that this Sunday. It'll be
a bonus episode. And for now, I have an interview
for you that I recorded earlier this week with Rachel Cruz.
Here you go, Happy Thursday, four Things.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I've got my friend Rachel Cruz joining us.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Rachel, you've been on the podcast before, but I feel
like it's been a few years.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I know, wh I was just thinking that, and I
remember we recorded I think in my old studio at
our old office, which would have been like four or
five years ago.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
So yeah, it's been a while.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Rachel is a financial expert, so I'm very excited to
have her on, just because I have had my own
personal financial journey.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Since we last spoke.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I used to never really pay attention to my finances
at all whatsoever, And this year I didn't really have
a choice, and I had to finally face my fear.
I didn't realize the amount of anxiety that I had
around money at all, but anytime that it would come
up involving my divorce and just you know, starting to
(02:06):
take the reins on my life and take some agency
and control over things, and of course, you know when
you're having meetings with lawyers and dividing assets and all
the things. Anytime I had to look at a spreadsheet
or think about money, Rachel like, I would get a
lump in my throat.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh yeah, well it's scary. And what you walked through.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I'm like, you're going from zero to one hundred because
you're thinking about taxes, insurance, password, I mean like you're
having to really uncover every single element.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Right that you're having to figure out.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
So that would be I mean I would be overwhelmed, right,
I mean, that's an overwhelming thing for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
I started to really pay attention to my body.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And that's what I realized, like every single time, right
there in my throat. And I'm happy to report that
I could in the hard work and I can now
open spreadsheets and check bank accounts and do all the
things talk money without getting a lump in my throat.
And I will highlight what I just said. I can
check bank accounts, which means I can log in, because
previously I had no idea how to log in. And
(03:06):
what would you say the percentage? I would assume it's
mostly females that don't know how to log into their account,
but I could be stereotyping a little bit, and I'm
a working female that didn't know how to log into
her bank account. I'm not saying it's because I wasn't
earning any money, because sometimes that might be the case.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But would you find that to be true?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah, I mean I think probably on more of like
the investment side, insurance, like when it gets into the
real niche areas, I could see that being more true.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
But I also kind.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Of find when it comes to the day to day,
the checking accounts, the expenses, things being paid, it's usually
actually coming from the woman. More women pay bills within
the household than men do that we find today, which
is so interesting because I probably would have thought if
I just were to guess lean on that side, I
was like, Oh, yeah, the guys do it, because honestly,
my husband does it, and I'm the one that talks
(03:56):
about money, but he's more organized and he's way more
more kind of detailed than I am, and so he
naturally and his strength just does it. And so when
I do find that geah, a lot of women they
call her the CFO of the household.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So there are a lot of women that do it.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
But I do think when you get into the niche areas,
that's where sometimes I think, yeah, stereotypically, the guy can
just take over if you're married.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Well, my encouragement.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Would be to anybody listening, whether you're male, female, whatever,
that it is important for everybody to have a hand
in it all, to be involved.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It is empowering. And I didn't realize that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I just I had no idea that it would feel
empowering to know kind of what was going on, what
was coming in, what was going out, what certain things cost,
and it's we determined. It stemmed from my childhood, so
my dad was a roller coaster with money, and I
think in my teenage years I sort of determined, well,
(04:57):
if you don't really pay too much attention to it.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Then it really can't trust you out.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But then I got married sort of young, and I
just passed that torch. And you know, Ben even told
me after we had decided to get a divorce and
he saw how much this was impacting me. He said,
he remembered Brighten. We got engaged. She kind of thought, Yay,
I'm going to be able to pass the torch to
her because he was deploying overseas. She's going to be
back home be able to check the mail and help
(05:23):
pay bills and you know.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
And he said that.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I looked at him, and I don't even remember this conversation,
but then I looked a him and I was like, oh, yeah, no,
I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
So that's on you.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
That's not my thing, that's not you.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And it's true, like opening mail any bills, like I
didn't realize because I wasn't in tune with my body
that I was, I probably had the lump in the
throat way back then.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Well no, And I think that's a great point because Honestly,
the way people's money tendencies are and even the way
their money personality is shaped is so much through childhood
because it's whether money was spoken about, whether it was
verbal or not at all, like.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
It was ever said.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
And even the emotional state, which is what you're kind
of describing, is that there's an emotional state without words
your kids pick up on. Is this a stressful topic
or is this a free and under control topic? You
know you can read. It's amazing how those two lines
of communication are so real, and it shapes you.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
It really does. It shapes who you are when it
comes to money.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
And I find some people either flee to the opposite side,
almost kind of like you did.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
We're like, yep, i'm good, I'm going to check out
and I don't need it. I'm good.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Or some people become so controlling and so overbearing that
they need that control of every single aspect that on
that extreme, that's unhealthy too, and so that balance is
really key. But yeah, I think going back and knowing
how you grew up and your family of origin is
it plays a huge role into how you think about money.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, it seems like when I was a kid, I
needed your new kid's book that you just wrote, because
you've got two other books that you've written, best selling books.
So what made you want to write a kid's book
after writing for adults?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Yes. So I have three little ones at home.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
So they're eight, six, and four, and in the last
probably I don't know, year, year and a half, I've
just been so aware, probably because they're getting older, of
just realizing their need for stuff, I mean, the amount
of stuff that they want, the amount of times they
ask for something new, whether it's like, hey, mom, you know,
is the Amazon guy coming today?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
You know?
Speaker 4 (07:22):
I mean it was like these questions that our kids
were asking, and I thought, oh my gosh, what have
I done? Have created these like little materialistic monsters, like
what is happening? And I saw myself so much in
them because I'm a natural spender, Like I said earlier,
I'm not great at details, some kind of a free
spirit naturally and like, and I love stuff and stuff
is fun and so I just I enjoy it. But
I know the lessons I've had to learn as an adult,
(07:46):
understanding unpacking the fact that stuff does not make you happy,
and you can so easily tie your joy, You can
so easily tie your happiness and your contentment to a thing. Right,
whether it's a new car, it's a vacation, like whatever
it is, we can so easily tie I have purchase
to our contentments, and we all know in our heads
that's not true, but that's not always how our behaviors
(08:06):
play out. You kind of get that hit of dopamine
and it's fun and it's great, and then you realize,
oh my gosh, it's just stuff again, and then a
week later you're looking to buy something else. So that
discontentment is real in my life. And when that I fail,
and then seeing it play out in my kids, I
just thought, oh wow, I want to write a book.
So parents everywhere at night and bedtime, as they're putting
their kids to sleep, there can be these words spoken
(08:28):
over them that stuff is not bad, stuff is not wrong,
but it's not the thing that's going to fulfill you
long term.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
And that's why the title of the book is I'm
Glad for what I have, which I think is I
think that's a reminder for all of us. So I
think even as parents are reading it to their kids,
so it gets it's a great reminder to check yourself
and have perspective.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Yeah, And there's a spiritual element to it because it
does end with understanding that there has to be something
bigger than you that fulfills you. And I think so
often and for me spiritually God, it could be you know,
something else for someone else, But I think tying ourselves
to something higher, a higher power, is so key because
when we start to become our own God and we
start to live in ourselves day in and day out,
(09:12):
that's where I think a lot of danger can happen
with money and with other stuff. But I think reaching
for something greater than us is one of the answers
in all of this.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, I feel like that's a beautiful message for kids.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yes there is.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They're going to bed and something to reflect on. And
I love putting stuff like that in my mind before
I sleep because I feel like stuff is happening in
our subconscious and while we're sleeping, so it gets to
marinate in there, right, So I love that it's a
good bedtime story, but also with kids in teaching them
just to be glad or what they have, but also
(09:43):
how to best use their money, Like what are your
practices with your kids? Like when it comes to allowance
or chores or earning money, or when you buy them
something versus when they have to pay for it.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So when it comes to kids and money, you know,
I think it's important for them to desociate money and
work like That's one of the foundational principles I want
my kids to see is that money comes from work.
Money doesn't come from mom and Dad's back pocket or
a magic card that comes out and gets swiped, or
on the phone and you double click and something shows
up at your house two hours later. Money it comes
from work. You have to leave home or you're home
(10:18):
working from home. But the idea that you are having
to work, and so implementing that for my kids is
really important. So we have them on commission, so you work,
you get paid. You don't work, you don't get paid.
And they will do some chores around the house just
because they're part of the family and that's what you do.
You don't get paid for every single thing in life.
But I do think as parents, there are so many
teachable moments when our kids earn money and they have
(10:40):
to make it themselves, and then teaching them to give it,
save it.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
And spend it. So three areas that I think are
really key.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So you can get envelopes for this, you can get
a jar, three different jars, whatever it is.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
But the younger they are, I think, the.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
More tangible that they need to actually see cash and
see money and see it placed out in these three
different ways, and yeah, and letting them spend it some
of it, I think is great understanding that you know
you can save up for something. And again, the younger
they are, the saving timeline I would make shorter and
shorter the younger they are, but have something that they're
saving for delayed gratification I think is a really good
(11:12):
thing to teach yourself, even at a young age. And
then giving and that giving aspect, living with that open
hands and understanding that, yeah, life's not all about you
and part of our hard work we help others with
that and so that principle is something too that that
is big. But for Winston and I I'm like, it
is difficult because when you can just buy something on
Amazon and it's seven dollars and ninety nine cents or whatever,
(11:34):
and it's like, oh, yeah, we can afford it, like
it's no big deal.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
We've had to get into.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
The practice that whatever our norm is and what we
want to set up for our kids, that has to
be the norm. Now there's things that are abnormal. We'll
take a great vacation, you know, we'll do some fun stuff,
but that's more abnormal than normal and setting that baseline.
And I would also encourage parents to like, however you
are with money, however you see money, the role that
money plays in your life, your kids are going to
(12:00):
pick up on that. So I hear some of my
parents like, how do I teach my kids, you know,
not to be so self centered and generous?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
I'm like, well, how are you doing that? Are you?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
You know, are you acting out of self centeredness and
not being generous? So it's amazing when when you are
living this stuff out, your kids pick up on it
and they take cues from you so often.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, I think if you were never taught it as
a child, and you don't have something implemented in your life,
if you're like three envelopes of give, save spend, I
mean that's something that could be very easy to demonstrate
and talk about and be like, oh, okay, you know,
my son was trying to understand the other day, like
how I get paid and where the money even comes from,
(12:41):
because yeah, it's not like I have a physical check
anymore or you see it, and just direct deposit goes
straight in. And I said, well, I get paid every
two weeks, so that's something where I could have a
conversation with him of like, yeah, every two weeks this
comes in and then I've got these three piles. Give
spend safe. This is something I'm saying I need to do.
(13:03):
I haven't done it, but you're giving you No, it's
so good though, you're giving me the idea of helping
them actually see it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
And of course, yeah, you may even have.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
A generous heart, but if you're giving online or giving
in a way where your children have no idea what's
being given or saved, like you've got a four O
one K and boom, it automatically goes in there. Well
that's it's all happening and maybe happening for you.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
But your kids aren't seeing it.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
So we just have to be intentional about the conversation.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yes, when they start asking those questions, yeah, go even
a step further, you know, and explaining kind of what's
going on, because I think money, there's so much just
head knowledge to a degree that we need that we
all need to know. Like if your kids leave home
and they know about a bank account, they understand what
debt is, they understand the idea of investing. Like that
basic knowledge is so helpful. But also that emotional side
(13:57):
of money, whether it's contentment and generosity, like all of
that too is playing out as well. And so yeah,
I think it's both play hand in hand and both
as a parent, you want to be intentional with because
if you're not teaching them about money, who's going to
teach them The guy on the car lot trying to
sell them a new car and convincing them about financing,
you know, and they're twenty two years old, Like like
who's going to do it? So it needs to be
(14:19):
the parents and walking those there. And you don't have
to be perfect, right, No one is perfect when it
comes to money. So don't feel like you have to
get your act together before you teach your kids. Take
them on the journey with you. We know so many
families who are getting themselves out of debt. You know,
they're making sacrifices to be able to get ahead financially
because it's it's been a really hard year financially for
a lot of people, and so even you know, the holidays,
(14:41):
at everything, they're feeling that that crunch. And so my
encouragement again age appropriate, but bring your kids into that conversation,
you know, don't scare them, but share what is going
on with the family and with the money, because again
not making it a taboo subject, and I think it's
really important just that line of communication.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What is your advice for having conversations so that children
don't fear money, Like say, you do need to have
a real conversation of you know, maybe what Christmas is
going to look like this year, because it might have
to look a little bit different. But then you don't
want to put a lack of mindset into your kid's
brains because I don't even know how you feel about
having a mindset of abundance versus lack. But that's one
(15:33):
of the shifts I had to make earlier this year.
I was having a really a lack mindset and it
was very overwhelming. But when I started to shift to
more of an abundance mindset, it changed. And of course
that doesn't mean that you know, money is just raining down,
That's not what it means.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
At all in case you're not familiar with it.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
But I would struggle to try to figure out how
to have an honest conversation and bring kids into it
and giving them a little bit of the reality of
what's happening, like you said, in an age appropriate way,
but without putting a lack of mentality in their head.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Sure, yeah, and I think understanding and again probably for
older kids more so. But I heard this picture from
actually a rabbi who wrote this like great money book,
and I was reading it and I was like, oh
my gosh, this is such a great picture that that
money is not a fixed pie. It's not like, oh,
you have money here, so that I now have less
to get from. It's like candles the flame. It can
(16:25):
continue on.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
And on and on and on and on.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
And so that mindset kind of what you're talking about,
that abundance versus scarcity mindset, I think is really important
because I think it plays out in our generosity. I
think it plays in how we handle money. And so
if you are in a family and Christmas is going
to look different, I mean I would say, the conversation
could go, Hey, the truth is, mom and Dad, we
made some mistakes when it comes to money, and I
(16:48):
really wish we had pulled back more of our spending X,
Y and Z. Maybe we overspent in certain areas that
we wish we didn't. And also you know, maybe a
job was lost, which is a very real thing, or
maybe you know, inflation, like whatever it is that's going on.
It's like, yeah, there's other factors that we can't control
going onto the world. But the things that we can
control is when our paycheck hits our accounts, what are
(17:09):
we going to choose.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
To do with it?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
And as a family, we want to set ourselves up
really well so that money is not controlling us. We
don't want to be stressed about this, which means that
we're going to pull back some from what looks like
abundance and spending, but we're actually going to create this
really strong financial foundation so in the future we can
build upon something that is strong and it's not shaking wobbly,
(17:30):
which is kind of how it feels right now to
mom and Dad. So we're going to make some shifts,
and part of that is that this is going to
look different this year for Christmas, but we're doing this
so that next Christmas it can be amazing and that
we actually will have the money to be able to
do it in a stress free way.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So what are the top things you think people get
wrong about money?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
I think debt in general.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
I think debt is something that we've learned to live
with as a culture and as a society. I think
it's assumed you can't have a nice car without a
car payments, you can't go to college without a student loan,
you have to have a credit card to survive, and
this mindset that ends up being living beyond your means.
It ends up being that when you get paid, your
paycheck goes back out eighteen different directions, right to eighteen
(18:15):
different banks or people to pay these bills, versus keeping
your paycheck and deciding, Hey, what do I want.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
To do with it? What do I choose to do?
Do I want to invest? Do I want to spend?
Do I want to give? What do I want to do?
Speaker 4 (18:27):
And so that ownership piece in our culture, we've like
allowed banks and Toyota Motor companies, Sally May and all
these places to own us financially, honestly, And that's what's happened,
and I think it's caused a lot of stress. And
I think it's caused people, not just financial burden, but
I think emotional, spiritual. Man, I think there's a lot
(18:48):
that weighs down on people when it's that paycheck to
paycheck living. And I know some people get there sadly
means that that they didn't cause it, They're not living
this extravagant lifestyle. But food is gone up, right, I mean,
our expenses have gone up this year and we've all
felt that over the last eighteen months, and so having
to learn to cut back when those things happen. But
depending on debt and depending on this financial industry for
(19:10):
well being, I think is a really big mistake and
I think it's caused. I think it's caused a lot
of pain and a lot of harm.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What are some creative ways for people to make extra
money during this time where diversifying your income is really important?
Speaker 5 (19:26):
So yeah, I don't want that last answer. I ended
up with like doom and gloom. I feel like because
of what I see.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
Yeah, and my work is that people choose a different way,
and they choose to get out of debt, they choose
to say, hey, when my income hits, I want to
be able to keep it. I want I want control
over it. I want power over it. I want to
say over my life and over my choices and my freedom.
And we see people do this all the time. So
the two big things people do to get out of
that is what you said. Number one is to up
(19:52):
your income. So side hustles. Right now, we are in
the best place in history for side hustles. So whether
it you working extra at the job that you have
now and you work overtime, or things like even you know,
driving for food delivery services is one of the biggest
places that we see a lot of people bring in
a lot of cash flow or find what you're good
(20:13):
at and say, hey, how can I charge what I'm
really good at and make some money that way. But
the whole side hustle industry, it's everywhere, and there's so
many opportunities to make extra income. And yes it's not
fun like people we don't want to take on two
three extra jobs, but just for a season to up
that income to get yourself in a better place financially,
I think is key.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And then the other piece of the puzzle is.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Your expenses and where you can cut you know, looking
at memberships and subscriptions that you're not using the out
to eat category and your budget usually is a lot
of people spend a lot of money out to eat,
so do we. But seeing if you can shrink that
down cook at home more, I mean places that you
can find that you can cut expenses on that end
of the equation is so helpful.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
But yeah, all that and it's a season of sacrifice,
it really is.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
If you really find yourself that you want to be
out of debt, it's going to take some sack her vice.
But at the end of the day, it's short term.
You know, on average it's around eighteen to twenty four months,
and it's incredible families and people that do this, and
it's a powerful thing. It's a powerful thing to be
debt free.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Eighteen to twenty four months in the average amount of debt,
Like what amount of debt?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Is that average amount of time for people to get
out of debt. So that's what we've kind of, yes,
as we've tracked people getting out of debt. So again,
for some people it's going to take longer, some people
it's shorter, depending on the amount of debt and the
income and all of that. But on average, it's eighteen
to twenty four months.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
As you mentioned eating out being a huge chunk, like
what is draining a lot of our money?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Like, is there a top list of things just to
be aware of. Because something that popped into my head
while you were talking was my daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
We were at the beach and her cousin, who's you know,
twenty one and has whatever way.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
She earns money, had gel on her nails. And then
my sixte year old daughter is like.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Oh, I want gel on my nails. I said, well,
if that's something you want to save your money for,
and do it. But also so as your mom, like
I want to tell you at sixteen, the type of
money you're earning and saving, I don't know that that
would be a wise way to spend your money. And
also I don't want you to, you know, damage your nails.
I used to get jail.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I don't anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I look, I painted my own nails and I tried
to show her. You know, I got this new olive
in June color that's pink that I love. And but
you know, a lot of kids get their nails done.
So that's an example to me where that could be
where you could cut back if you're doing things like that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
In a sense.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
But one of my really good friends, Cat, she loves
getting her nails done, and she will not sacrifice that.
She will sacrifice other things, but she is not going
to sacrifice getting.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Her nails done.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
So I guess I'm asking this question, but it may
look different for different people depending on what really makes
them feel good.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Yeah, sure, and your values and yes, and yeah, what
you enjoy in life obviously is going to trump things
that you don't enjoy. But I think too, you know,
there can be a level of just sloppiness when it
comes to our money. And so I think it's amazing
what people will find if they actually do a budget
and they actually say, Okay, here's what we're going to
spend on food, here's what we're gonna spend on clothes,
here's what we're gonna spend on miscellaneous, here's what we're
(23:09):
gonna spend on insurance, and they actually map out their
income and understand exactly where their income's going. When you
do that and actually live on some level on purpose,
that actually makes you feel like you got to raise
because even just that awareness, it's amazing that you look
and say, oh my gosh, we've been paying double for
Apple iCloud storage that we don't need. Okay, well cut that,
(23:31):
cut this, and you start to actually see where your
money's going and that level of detail.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
It's really important.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And it's amazing what you can say when you just
actually are on purpose on where your money's going, which
is a budget, which people hate the B word, but
that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Awareness is so amazing. I'll go back to that word empowering.
Having that knowledge and being aware is I never thought
I would say this, but it's just really cool, Like
it does so much for your certain decisions that you make,
yourself confidence.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Confidence, Yeah, it does totally.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
I know.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
I had a friend and she she never did any
of this, you know that we're talking about. And I
just talked to her the other day and she was like, Rachel,
I gotta tell you. We did a budget for the
first time this month. And she was like, And I
walked into hobby lobby and I saw all these Christmas
trees and she was like I normally just would have
been like, yeah, we'll figure it out, we'll just charge
on the credit car, we'll figure it out later. No words,
We'll just we'll let's get it and let's get some
(24:23):
ornaments and have fun. And she was like, but I
had a budget and I knew I had this amount
of money to spend, and there was something about just
that that boundary to say, Okay, I have freedom within
this and.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
It's great, but next I need to stop. And that
kind of feels good.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
And there is something in us that well, when we
know and it's not just this idea in our heads,
it's a level of control in a good way, I think,
a healthy control that I have a say in my
life versus all of this just happening to me.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Circling back to you, you know, writing a kid's book
and thinking about kids and when we.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Were kids and what's good for kids. Rules are great
for kids. They like to know that they're safe.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
And sometimes I notice my kids pushing the boundaries, but
they want me to stop them or they want there
to be that oh limits, All right, there's a limit. Okay,
Now I feel protected and like you care because as
an adult, I think it's the same thing.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
It's just yes, it's differently totally, yes, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Except for some people.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, well, when we're when we were kids, our parents
are the ones creating those boundaries that then when we
become adults, we have to create our own boundaries.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yes, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And for some people, honestly, personality wise or you know, tendencies,
they're great with it. It comes natural to them. They
love Excel sheets and they naturally just want to do
it themselves. But others, like me, I've had to really
train myself to be like, okay, Rachel, this is okay,
this is good, this is good. I mean, it was
a practice for me, and then once I got in
(25:56):
the habit of it, and it just became part of
my life, and and doing a budget every month and knowing,
you know, where am I going and all of that,
it just became that became normal. I realized, oh my gosh,
I can enjoy I enjoy what you're saying. I enjoying
my life more because I know what's going on. And
there's something about that, that freedom. That's I always say.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Budgets do not limit your freedom. They actually give you freedom.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
They give you permission to spend and enjoy your money
because you actually know what's going on, and.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
They give you that perspective of you know the title
of your book, like you can be genuinely glad for what.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
You have, Yes, the contentment piece, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And I think that that's huge.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
When my daughter asked me about the gel nails, what
I shared with you just now was my immediate response.
But I guess it does make me curious, And since
I have you here, I'll ask you, like, what is
a good way to say to a child no without
saying no?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Or maybe no is okay? And appropriate in that?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I mean I definitely used showed an example and used
encouragement of like, we can do your own nails and
you don't want to ruin your nails from the gel.
When kids are asking for things, because they do ask
for a lot, what's your advice for parents, So the
best way to say we're not going to do that
at this time.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
I mean, especially if there's a bigger price tag attached
to it and they're not expected to use their own money.
Then I think for sure it's like, yeah, you know, mom,
that we don't have the money right now. I think
that's a very valid answer to say that that's okay,
you know, or we're choosing not to spend money on
this because we know there's other things that we're going
to want to do as a family, and we're going
to choose to put our money somewhere else. But that's
(27:29):
one reason I do love kids having their own money,
and as they get to be teenagers, you know, I
think having a student checking account is great for them,
with a debit card. And even as a parent, my
parents said this. They put a set amount of money
in every month, and they said, if you want more money,
you have to go get a job, which we had
to because they didn't give us a ton of money,
so we had to go babysit and do other things.
But that said amount of money was enough for us
(27:51):
to put gas in our car, you know, buy some
clothes if we want, go to the movies with friends,
all of that. But it wasn't an abundance amount. It
wasn't a lot. We could do whatever we wanted all
the time. We had to make choices. And so for
me learning those choices and me learning oh my gosh,
I went and got my nails done and it cost
me forty two dollars after tip, and now I only
(28:12):
have twenty eight dollars in my accounts. I mean, thinking
this is your daughter could be thinking this, Oh man,
I would much rather have had that money to be
able to go out to eat two different times with
friends than this, and they start to actually learn what
is going on and they put the pieces together, even
themselves as they're making inexpensive money mistakes. So I think
the older they get in as teenagers as of now,
(28:35):
which I mean I don't have teenagers, and I've said
things before that I would do as a parent, and
then you become a parent, You're like, oh, yeah, no,
that that's not real, that's not true. So I could
change my mind on this, but I do like the
idea of them making some mistakes with money and having
to learn, oh gosh, it's all gone now because I
got my nails done.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
Now what do I do now? I can't go out
and do X, Y and Z with friends.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
So learning that and them going through those emotions I
think is really healthy. But then there are times as
a parent to have the conversation to step in. But
I would say I'm the spender of even the Ramsey kids.
Growing up, my my siblings and I bought crap all
the time. I mean I just spent money and spent
money and spent money, and slowly after a while learning okay,
that is who I am. Obviously, I wrote a book
(29:18):
about contentment because it's still something I struggle with. But
learning like, Okay, that's what that meant. To buy that
cheap shirt at wet.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Seal or whatever was cool when I was a teenager.
You seal, you're just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
But I think playing it out in real time, especially
when they're teenagers and they're older.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
I think, is I think, is great?
Speaker 4 (29:36):
I hold your daughter. I can't sixteen okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
So there'd be a part of me that would be like, yeah,
let her kind of figure it out and spend some
of her own money that maybe she's earned.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
That's definitely something I have said before when she's asked
for something. That's been one of my lines is if
you were buying this with your own money right now,
would do you still buy it? And she's looked at
me a few of those times and then like no,
and I'm like, okay, well then we're not getting it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Great, awesome problems solved. Day, We're done.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
You answered the question, so you did something with your kids?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Was it this summer this last summer where it was
like a no spend summer or.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
Something, So you did something with your kids?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Was it this summer, this last summer where it was
like a no spend summer or something.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Oh yes, oh yes. So what I was saying earlier
that we do the give, save and spend. Even with
the spend, they were persistent. They're like, if they got
two dollars, they were like, can we go to Target?
Can we go to the dollar isle? And I was like,
oh my gosh, you guys. And it got to the
point that it was it was, I mean, it was
almost daily. It's embarrassing to say it was almost daily.
They were asking to like, go spend, we want to spend,
(30:50):
we want to spend. So Winceston, my husband and I we
looked at each other one day, We're like, we're done.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Y'all, we're done.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
We will match whatever money you have in your spend
in your spind jar at the end of the summer,
but you are not allowed to spend any of your money.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
So we did.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
We put a cap on their spend money because they
were relentless about it. And I'm like, y'all, we are
not going to just be spending and spending spinning, and
they would do. And it's funny that, you know, what
I teach works to a degree because they went and
did a bunch of chores and earned a bunch of money.
And then they're like, we want, we want, we want,
And it became that for weeks. And so that's when
we said, okay, y'all were stopping this. You can continue
(31:26):
to do chores, we will continue to pay you, but
you can't you're not going to spend any of your money.
So we did two months of no spending with them
June and July. And it was great because after about
five days they stopped asking and it was so great,
and they they had the toys that they had. You know,
that contentment piece, I think is really true, and you
have enough. We have enough, we have plenty, we have enough.
(31:46):
And so them actually living in that was so good.
And then in August, yeah, we opened the floodgates again,
told them they're back to if they want to spend
some of their money, they can.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Since I am, well, I haven't I'm not dating yet,
but I mean I potentially could have another relationship at
some point.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
When should people have the money conversation? Is it first date,
is it second date?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
When do you start to be like, oh okay, because
some people don't even bring it up until they've been
engaged or they're getting married and they're like, oh, yeah, FYI,
I'm you know this amountain debt and they're like wait
what Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I would say definitely before the engagement, you know. I
think when a relationship starts to like make that turn
where you think, all right, this is probably it, this
is it, and you kind of have that conversation of yeah,
this is this is feeling right and other natural hopefully
other natural conversations are happening with family dynamics, you know,
like there's other there's other conversations in life that are
(32:46):
important to have before you get married, and money is
just one of those. So if you are a person
that has that level of conversation with people about all
topics of life, it's like we're just going to go there,
then that's where I feel, Yeah, you have the freedom
just to go there. But if you're more reserved in that,
then you can wait until it starts getting more scares.
But I probably I wouldn't feel comfortable being engaged and
(33:08):
not knowing.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I mean, I think.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Income amounts, retirements, housing situation, debt level, I mean all
of that, Like, I think that is a very real,
needed conversation because what happens too is people get married,
and especially I tend to find people that are older
or have established lives before they get married. They tend
to run on these two separate tracks relationally when it
comes to money, it's like his money and her money,
(33:31):
and they just live these separate lives financially, which I
think is really damaging, not just from the emotional standpoint
of the marriage, but also financially. I'm like, it's hard
to set big financial goals and win when you're just
doing it on your own, like partner together if you're married,
be one, and so that mindset's really really critical. So
I would say too, to know the value system of
the person and what they value about money and you
(33:54):
know what role it plays, how you guys see yourself
as a team going forward. I mean all of that,
I think that needs to be a conversation before engagement.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
In my opinion, we have a lot.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Of women listeners primarily, and I would love to know
your advice for those a bus that might need to
be in a position for a promotion or a raise
or one of those talks like do you have any
advice for I mean, I guess it could be for
men too, but I just feel like women are in
a different position at times depending on their company dynamics.
(34:27):
So do you have any advice for women that might.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Be in that position?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
You know, with the new year coming up, there might
be talks of evaluations that could be happening and standing
up for themselves and asking for what they feel the deserve.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yes, well, I think asking is a big part of it.
I think for so many of us. You know, you
can kind of just shy away from the conversation naturally
and say well, if it plays out, it plays out,
and it's more of a passive approach. But I would
say yeah, I mean, if you're at the point that
you're like, oh yeah, no, there needs to be a promotion,
there needs to be raised because my work indicates that,
and I think that would be the biggest thing. As
much facts as you can bring to the table, I
(35:01):
think it's huge to be able to show like your
key results areas like here's what I've been doing, Here's
how this has pushed forward different initiatives within the company,
this is what I've and actually show what you've done,
because I think sometimes just ideas, again, even talking about money,
like Oh, it's just the idea of a budget or
just the idea of knowing what's going on. No, you
actually want numbers down. And so I think as much
(35:24):
facts as you can have in life, I think is great.
But also when you're doing something like that, having a
conversation with someone for a promotion or for a rays,
being able to state your case very clearly and factually,
I think is a huge pro versus going in and
just saying I feel like I should have a raise, right, Like,
actually having a level of facts with.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
You, I think is big.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, okay, so start collecting, start collecting.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
I would, I really would. I would just keep track
and just say, hey, here's what's going on.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
If you're you know, if you're a leader and more
people are now reporting to you than a year ago,
you know, like that needs to be in play, Like
I mean, all these different things in your role, I
think is I think is big because the opportunity is there,
and I think you're right.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
I think for a lot of women they can shy
away from it.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
And we see the studies, you know, depending on you know,
what angle you look at. But I think that fair
pay is a very needed thing. So if you are
in a company truly that they really are paying.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
A guy more than you, just not. And I'm not
talking about experience right Like, I mean, there could be
experience other factors.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
If it really is that, I would even question like,
oh my gosh, do I want to work do I
want to work here? Like what kind of company am
I working for? So I mean those are all bigger conversations,
but I think having your case being made is really important. Well.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
In some of your other books would be good for
the adult women listening to check out Know Yourself, Know
Your Money, the second one, Love your Life Not there
seven money habits for loving the life.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
That you want.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
I would encourage people to check those out, and I'll
see your host to the Rachel Cruse Show, co host
of Smart Money, Happy Hours. So many different ways to
get money and all from Rachel and her dad Dave Ramsey.
I mean, I feel like when it comes to money,
y'all are like the top people that come to mind
for so many people that I know, and so definitely
(37:12):
a good resource. And I'm very thankful for all that
y'all put out there for people, especially even just on Instagram,
like that there's so much that you can get from you.
I get little nuggets from you on there so at
Rachel Cruz and Cruse is with an e at the end,
on all socials, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and then.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Yeah, your new kids book.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I'm glad for what I have. I love that title
so much. And let's wrap with gratitude based on that.
What is something that you are glad that you have?
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Rachel, you know, right now I would say parenting. Right now,
we're like in a fun season. We're out of diapers
and strollers and cribs, like we're out of the baby season.
And so even just this past break, I'm like, oh,
this season of parenting is starting to feel really fun.
And it is work with the baby season, it's a work.
So being able to say, yeah, this is this is fun.
The older they get and the more they can talk
(38:04):
and be humans, it's I find it more enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I agree, like having your how you had these new
little relationships that yes, are really cool and special.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
And Amy, can I just encourage you made it such
a great point that it's so many women listening, and
I just want to encourage you women listening. So whether
you're single, whether you're married, regardless of relational status, and
I would say even income status, debt level, like anything,
just so that you have the ability to take control
of your money. You have the ability to learn things
that maybe you thought I could never learn, things that
may seem confusing or intimidating. You one hundred percent have
(38:38):
the ability to move into those spaces and learn and
know what's going on. And you may be a spender
like me in a free spirit and you're like, oh no,
I'd rather just not I I'd rather not do a
budget or not look at what's going on.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
But you really can.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
You can can take the subject and say, wow, I
feel so out of control, but you can take control.
And yeah, Amy, you listen to some great resources, So
I appreciate that. But I would love to help you
any way I can. For the listeners out there, so
tune in and read and read what's going on, you know,
Ramsey or the shows that we have, because I do
think we have a practical plan to walk people through it.
And it's possible for anyone, anyone at any stage of life.
(39:14):
And again, regardless of where you are financially, you can
do this.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Thank you for that encouragement, Rachel, and I'll also link
all the books in the show notes so they're easy
to find. But Amazon is also an easy way to
just as.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
You know, click order shows up is there, say Amazon
guys here. Yeah, that's definitely one that we have to
be careful with. I know earlier we're talking about things
that just drain money and it's like, gosh.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Amazon has just made it so easy to click and buy,
and then our kids they see that happen too, and
they're like, Wola, packages.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Just sh up, it's there. They out, money just goes
into the account and then boom, stuff arrives at the door.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
So as parents, we do need to be intentional. Since
everything is kind of just up in the cloud happening,
we need to kind of bring it back down so
that it can be tangible. And one way to do
that is with Rachel's Kid's book. Depending on how old
your kids are, and Rachel was like, I don't know,
your kids might be a little too old this. I
was like, no, I don't think I feel like I
(40:12):
could read my sixteen year old daughter that book. And
depending on what types of conversations you've had with your kids,
it may be age appropriate, it may be age appropriate
for us as adults too, So thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Rachel for all that you do and it was so
fun having you back on. And I'm sure when you
do your next.
Speaker 5 (40:31):
Book you'll be back I know, I hope, so I hope.
So thanks saying me thanks for having me on. I
appreciate it.
Cats up Little food for yourself life. Oh it's pretty bad. Hey,
it's pretty beautiful, beautiful for that for a little more
said he You're kicking with four with Amy.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Brown, Happy Thursday, four Things. Amy here, and I know
on Tuesday, during the fifth Thing this week, I teased
that the Gift Guide episode would go up today, and
it's still gonna go up, but it's gonna be a
bonus episode on Sunday because I am working on some
really cool giveaways to incorporate into the episode, like a
(00:53):
really cool package of awesome things that you're definitely gonna want,
and I want to have everything final before I upload
the episode, so look for that this Sunday. It'll be
a bonus episode. And for now, I have an interview
for you that I recorded earlier this week with Rachel Cruz.
Here you go, Happy Thursday, four Things.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I've got my friend Rachel Cruz joining us.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Rachel, you've been on the podcast before, but I feel
like it's been a few years.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
I know, wh I was just thinking that, and I
remember we recorded I think in my old studio at
our old office, which would have been like four or
five years ago.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
So yeah, it's been a while.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Rachel is a financial expert, so I'm very excited to
have her on, just because I have had my own
personal financial journey.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Since we last spoke.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
I used to never really pay attention to my finances
at all whatsoever, And this year I didn't really have
a choice, and I had to finally face my fear.
I didn't realize the amount of anxiety that I had
around money at all, but anytime that it would come
up involving my divorce and just you know, starting to
(02:06):
take the reins on my life and take some agency
and control over things, and of course, you know when
you're having meetings with lawyers and dividing assets and all
the things. Anytime I had to look at a spreadsheet
or think about money, Rachel like, I would get a
lump in my throat.
Speaker 5 (02:20):
Oh yeah, well it's scary. And what you walked through.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
I'm like, you're going from zero to one hundred because
you're thinking about taxes, insurance, password, I mean like you're
having to really uncover every single element.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Right that you're having to figure out.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
So that would be I mean I would be overwhelmed, right,
I mean, that's an overwhelming thing for sure.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
I started to really pay attention to my body.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And that's what I realized, like every single time, right
there in my throat. And I'm happy to report that
I could in the hard work and I can now
open spreadsheets and check bank accounts and do all the
things talk money without getting a lump in my throat.
And I will highlight what I just said. I can
check bank accounts, which means I can log in, because
previously I had no idea how to log in. And
(03:06):
what would you say the percentage? I would assume it's
mostly females that don't know how to log into their account,
but I could be stereotyping a little bit, and I'm
a working female that didn't know how to log into
her bank account. I'm not saying it's because I wasn't
earning any money, because sometimes that might be the case.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But would you find that to be true?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yeah, I mean I think probably on more of like
the investment side, insurance, like when it gets into the
real niche areas, I could see that being more true.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
But I also kind.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
Of find when it comes to the day to day,
the checking accounts, the expenses, things being paid, it's usually
actually coming from the woman. More women pay bills within
the household than men do that we find today, which
is so interesting because I probably would have thought if
I just were to guess lean on that side, I
was like, Oh, yeah, the guys do it, because honestly,
my husband does it, and I'm the one that talks
(03:56):
about money, but he's more organized and he's way more
more kind of detailed than I am, and so he
naturally and his strength just does it. And so when
I do find that geah, a lot of women they
call her the CFO of the household.
Speaker 5 (04:10):
So there are a lot of women that do it.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
But I do think when you get into the niche areas,
that's where sometimes I think, yeah, stereotypically, the guy can
just take over if you're married.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Well, my encouragement.
Speaker 6 (04:21):
Would be to anybody listening, whether you're male, female, whatever,
that it is important for everybody to have a hand
in it all, to be involved.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
It is empowering. And I didn't realize that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I just I had no idea that it would feel
empowering to know kind of what was going on, what
was coming in, what was going out, what certain things cost,
and it's we determined. It stemmed from my childhood, so
my dad was a roller coaster with money, and I
think in my teenage years I sort of determined, well,
(04:57):
if you don't really pay too much attention to it.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Then it really can't trust you out.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
But then I got married sort of young, and I
just passed that torch. And you know, Ben even told
me after we had decided to get a divorce and
he saw how much this was impacting me. He said,
he remembered Brighten. We got engaged. She kind of thought, Yay,
I'm going to be able to pass the torch to
her because he was deploying overseas. She's going to be
back home be able to check the mail and help
(05:23):
pay bills and you know.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
And he said that.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I looked at him, and I don't even remember this conversation,
but then I looked a him and I was like, oh, yeah, no,
I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
So that's on you.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
That's not my thing, that's not you.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And it's true, like opening mail any bills, like I
didn't realize because I wasn't in tune with my body
that I was, I probably had the lump in the
throat way back then.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
Well no, And I think that's a great point because Honestly,
the way people's money tendencies are and even the way
their money personality is shaped is so much through childhood
because it's whether money was spoken about, whether it was
verbal or not at all, like.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
It was ever said.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
And even the emotional state, which is what you're kind
of describing, is that there's an emotional state without words
your kids pick up on. Is this a stressful topic
or is this a free and under control topic? You
know you can read. It's amazing how those two lines
of communication are so real, and it shapes you.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
It really does. It shapes who you are when it
comes to money.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
And I find some people either flee to the opposite side,
almost kind of like you did.
Speaker 5 (06:24):
We're like, yep, i'm good, I'm going to check out
and I don't need it. I'm good.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Or some people become so controlling and so overbearing that
they need that control of every single aspect that on
that extreme, that's unhealthy too, and so that balance is
really key. But yeah, I think going back and knowing
how you grew up and your family of origin is
it plays a huge role into how you think about money.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Well, it seems like when I was a kid, I
needed your new kid's book that you just wrote, because
you've got two other books that you've written, best selling books.
So what made you want to write a kid's book
after writing for adults?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
Yes. So I have three little ones at home.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
So they're eight, six, and four, and in the last
probably I don't know, year, year and a half, I've
just been so aware, probably because they're getting older, of
just realizing their need for stuff, I mean, the amount
of stuff that they want, the amount of times they
ask for something new, whether it's like, hey, mom, you know,
is the Amazon guy coming today?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
You know?
Speaker 4 (07:22):
I mean it was like these questions that our kids
were asking, and I thought, oh my gosh, what have
I done? Have created these like little materialistic monsters, like
what is happening? And I saw myself so much in
them because I'm a natural spender, Like I said earlier,
I'm not great at details, some kind of a free
spirit naturally and like, and I love stuff and stuff
is fun and so I just I enjoy it. But
I know the lessons I've had to learn as an adult,
(07:46):
understanding unpacking the fact that stuff does not make you happy,
and you can so easily tie your joy, You can
so easily tie your happiness and your contentment to a thing. Right,
whether it's a new car, it's a vacation, like whatever
it is, we can so easily tie I have purchase
to our contentments, and we all know in our heads
that's not true, but that's not always how our behaviors
(08:06):
play out. You kind of get that hit of dopamine
and it's fun and it's great, and then you realize,
oh my gosh, it's just stuff again, and then a
week later you're looking to buy something else. So that
discontentment is real in my life. And when that I fail,
and then seeing it play out in my kids, I
just thought, oh wow, I want to write a book.
So parents everywhere at night and bedtime, as they're putting
their kids to sleep, there can be these words spoken
(08:28):
over them that stuff is not bad, stuff is not wrong,
but it's not the thing that's going to fulfill you
long term.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
And that's why the title of the book is I'm
Glad for what I have, which I think is I
think that's a reminder for all of us. So I
think even as parents are reading it to their kids,
so it gets it's a great reminder to check yourself
and have perspective.
Speaker 5 (08:50):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 4 (08:50):
Yeah, And there's a spiritual element to it because it
does end with understanding that there has to be something
bigger than you that fulfills you. And I think so
often and for me spiritually God, it could be you know,
something else for someone else, But I think tying ourselves
to something higher, a higher power, is so key because
when we start to become our own God and we
start to live in ourselves day in and day out,
(09:12):
that's where I think a lot of danger can happen
with money and with other stuff. But I think reaching
for something greater than us is one of the answers
in all of this.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Well, I feel like that's a beautiful message for kids.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
Yes there is.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
They're going to bed and something to reflect on. And
I love putting stuff like that in my mind before
I sleep because I feel like stuff is happening in
our subconscious and while we're sleeping, so it gets to
marinate in there, right, So I love that it's a
good bedtime story, but also with kids in teaching them
just to be glad or what they have, but also
(09:43):
how to best use their money, Like what are your
practices with your kids? Like when it comes to allowance
or chores or earning money, or when you buy them
something versus when they have to pay for it.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
So when it comes to kids and money, you know,
I think it's important for them to desociate money and
work like That's one of the foundational principles I want
my kids to see is that money comes from work.
Money doesn't come from mom and Dad's back pocket or
a magic card that comes out and gets swiped, or
on the phone and you double click and something shows
up at your house two hours later. Money it comes
from work. You have to leave home or you're home
(10:18):
working from home. But the idea that you are having
to work, and so implementing that for my kids is
really important. So we have them on commission, so you work,
you get paid. You don't work, you don't get paid.
And they will do some chores around the house just
because they're part of the family and that's what you do.
You don't get paid for every single thing in life.
But I do think as parents, there are so many
teachable moments when our kids earn money and they have
(10:40):
to make it themselves, and then teaching them to give it,
save it.
Speaker 5 (10:43):
And spend it. So three areas that I think are
really key.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
So you can get envelopes for this, you can get
a jar, three different jars, whatever it is.
Speaker 5 (10:50):
But the younger they are, I think, the.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
More tangible that they need to actually see cash and
see money and see it placed out in these three
different ways, and yeah, and letting them spend it some
of it, I think is great understanding that you know
you can save up for something. And again, the younger
they are, the saving timeline I would make shorter and
shorter the younger they are, but have something that they're
saving for delayed gratification I think is a really good
(11:12):
thing to teach yourself, even at a young age. And
then giving and that giving aspect, living with that open
hands and understanding that, yeah, life's not all about you
and part of our hard work we help others with
that and so that principle is something too that that
is big. But for Winston and I I'm like, it
is difficult because when you can just buy something on
Amazon and it's seven dollars and ninety nine cents or whatever,
(11:34):
and it's like, oh, yeah, we can afford it, like
it's no big deal.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
We've had to get into.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
The practice that whatever our norm is and what we
want to set up for our kids, that has to
be the norm. Now there's things that are abnormal. We'll
take a great vacation, you know, we'll do some fun stuff,
but that's more abnormal than normal and setting that baseline.
And I would also encourage parents to like, however you
are with money, however you see money, the role that
money plays in your life, your kids are going to
(12:00):
pick up on that. So I hear some of my
parents like, how do I teach my kids, you know,
not to be so self centered and generous?
Speaker 5 (12:06):
I'm like, well, how are you doing that? Are you?
Speaker 4 (12:08):
You know, are you acting out of self centeredness and
not being generous? So it's amazing when when you are
living this stuff out, your kids pick up on it
and they take cues from you so often.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Yeah, I think if you were never taught it as
a child, and you don't have something implemented in your life,
if you're like three envelopes of give, save spend, I
mean that's something that could be very easy to demonstrate
and talk about and be like, oh, okay, you know,
my son was trying to understand the other day, like
how I get paid and where the money even comes from,
(12:41):
because yeah, it's not like I have a physical check
anymore or you see it, and just direct deposit goes
straight in. And I said, well, I get paid every
two weeks, so that's something where I could have a
conversation with him of like, yeah, every two weeks this
comes in and then I've got these three piles. Give
spend safe. This is something I'm saying I need to do.
(13:03):
I haven't done it, but you're giving you No, it's
so good though, you're giving me the idea of helping
them actually see it.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
And of course, yeah, you may even have.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
A generous heart, but if you're giving online or giving
in a way where your children have no idea what's
being given or saved, like you've got a four O
one K and boom, it automatically goes in there. Well
that's it's all happening and maybe happening for you.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
But your kids aren't seeing it.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
So we just have to be intentional about the conversation.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
Yes, when they start asking those questions, yeah, go even
a step further, you know, and explaining kind of what's
going on, because I think money, there's so much just
head knowledge to a degree that we need that we
all need to know. Like if your kids leave home
and they know about a bank account, they understand what
debt is, they understand the idea of investing. Like that
basic knowledge is so helpful. But also that emotional side
(13:57):
of money, whether it's contentment and generosity, like all of
that too is playing out as well. And so yeah,
I think it's both play hand in hand and both
as a parent, you want to be intentional with because
if you're not teaching them about money, who's going to
teach them The guy on the car lot trying to
sell them a new car and convincing them about financing,
you know, and they're twenty two years old, Like like
who's going to do it? So it needs to be
(14:19):
the parents and walking those there. And you don't have
to be perfect, right, No one is perfect when it
comes to money. So don't feel like you have to
get your act together before you teach your kids. Take
them on the journey with you. We know so many
families who are getting themselves out of debt. You know,
they're making sacrifices to be able to get ahead financially
because it's it's been a really hard year financially for
a lot of people, and so even you know, the holidays,
(14:41):
at everything, they're feeling that that crunch. And so my
encouragement again age appropriate, but bring your kids into that conversation,
you know, don't scare them, but share what is going
on with the family and with the money, because again
not making it a taboo subject, and I think it's
really important just that line of communication.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What is your advice for having conversations so that children
don't fear money, Like say, you do need to have
a real conversation of you know, maybe what Christmas is
going to look like this year, because it might have
to look a little bit different. But then you don't
want to put a lack of mindset into your kid's
brains because I don't even know how you feel about
having a mindset of abundance versus lack. But that's one
(15:33):
of the shifts I had to make earlier this year.
I was having a really a lack mindset and it
was very overwhelming. But when I started to shift to
more of an abundance mindset, it changed. And of course
that doesn't mean that you know, money is just raining down,
That's not what it means.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
At all in case you're not familiar with it.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
But I would struggle to try to figure out how
to have an honest conversation and bring kids into it
and giving them a little bit of the reality of
what's happening, like you said, in an age appropriate way,
but without putting a lack of mentality in their head.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Sure, yeah, and I think understanding and again probably for
older kids more so. But I heard this picture from
actually a rabbi who wrote this like great money book,
and I was reading it and I was like, oh
my gosh, this is such a great picture that that
money is not a fixed pie. It's not like, oh,
you have money here, so that I now have less
to get from. It's like candles the flame. It can
(16:25):
continue on.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
And on and on and on and on.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
And so that mindset kind of what you're talking about,
that abundance versus scarcity mindset, I think is really important
because I think it plays out in our generosity. I
think it plays in how we handle money. And so
if you are in a family and Christmas is going
to look different, I mean I would say, the conversation
could go, Hey, the truth is, mom and Dad, we
made some mistakes when it comes to money, and I
(16:48):
really wish we had pulled back more of our spending X,
Y and Z. Maybe we overspent in certain areas that
we wish we didn't. And also you know, maybe a
job was lost, which is a very real thing, or
maybe you know, inflation, like whatever it is that's going on.
It's like, yeah, there's other factors that we can't control
going onto the world. But the things that we can
control is when our paycheck hits our accounts, what are
(17:09):
we going to choose.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
To do with it?
Speaker 4 (17:10):
And as a family, we want to set ourselves up
really well so that money is not controlling us. We
don't want to be stressed about this, which means that
we're going to pull back some from what looks like
abundance and spending, but we're actually going to create this
really strong financial foundation so in the future we can
build upon something that is strong and it's not shaking wobbly,
(17:30):
which is kind of how it feels right now to
mom and Dad. So we're going to make some shifts,
and part of that is that this is going to
look different this year for Christmas, but we're doing this
so that next Christmas it can be amazing and that
we actually will have the money to be able to
do it in a stress free way.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
So what are the top things you think people get
wrong about money?
Speaker 5 (17:50):
I think debt in general.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
I think debt is something that we've learned to live
with as a culture and as a society. I think
it's assumed you can't have a nice car without a
car payments, you can't go to college without a student loan,
you have to have a credit card to survive, and
this mindset that ends up being living beyond your means.
It ends up being that when you get paid, your
paycheck goes back out eighteen different directions, right to eighteen
(18:15):
different banks or people to pay these bills, versus keeping
your paycheck and deciding, Hey, what do I want.
Speaker 5 (18:22):
To do with it? What do I choose to do?
Do I want to invest? Do I want to spend?
Do I want to give? What do I want to do?
Speaker 4 (18:27):
And so that ownership piece in our culture, we've like
allowed banks and Toyota Motor companies, Sally May and all
these places to own us financially, honestly, And that's what's happened,
and I think it's caused a lot of stress. And
I think it's caused people, not just financial burden, but
I think emotional, spiritual. Man, I think there's a lot
(18:48):
that weighs down on people when it's that paycheck to
paycheck living. And I know some people get there sadly
means that that they didn't cause it, They're not living
this extravagant lifestyle. But food is gone up, right, I mean,
our expenses have gone up this year and we've all
felt that over the last eighteen months, and so having
to learn to cut back when those things happen. But
depending on debt and depending on this financial industry for
(19:10):
well being, I think is a really big mistake and
I think it's caused. I think it's caused a lot
of pain and a lot of harm.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
What are some creative ways for people to make extra
money during this time where diversifying your income is really important?
Speaker 5 (19:26):
So yeah, I don't want that last answer. I ended
up with like doom and gloom. I feel like because
of what I see.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
Yeah, and my work is that people choose a different way,
and they choose to get out of debt, they choose
to say, hey, when my income hits, I want to
be able to keep it. I want I want control
over it. I want power over it. I want to
say over my life and over my choices and my freedom.
And we see people do this all the time. So
the two big things people do to get out of
that is what you said. Number one is to up
(19:52):
your income. So side hustles. Right now, we are in
the best place in history for side hustles. So whether
it you working extra at the job that you have
now and you work overtime, or things like even you know,
driving for food delivery services is one of the biggest
places that we see a lot of people bring in
a lot of cash flow or find what you're good
(20:13):
at and say, hey, how can I charge what I'm
really good at and make some money that way. But
the whole side hustle industry, it's everywhere, and there's so
many opportunities to make extra income. And yes it's not
fun like people we don't want to take on two
three extra jobs, but just for a season to up
that income to get yourself in a better place financially,
I think is key.
Speaker 5 (20:33):
And then the other piece of the puzzle is.
Speaker 4 (20:34):
Your expenses and where you can cut you know, looking
at memberships and subscriptions that you're not using the out
to eat category and your budget usually is a lot
of people spend a lot of money out to eat,
so do we. But seeing if you can shrink that
down cook at home more, I mean places that you
can find that you can cut expenses on that end
of the equation is so helpful.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
But yeah, all that and it's a season of sacrifice,
it really is.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
If you really find yourself that you want to be
out of debt, it's going to take some sack her vice.
But at the end of the day, it's short term.
You know, on average it's around eighteen to twenty four months,
and it's incredible families and people that do this, and
it's a powerful thing. It's a powerful thing to be
debt free.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
Eighteen to twenty four months in the average amount of debt,
Like what amount of debt?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Is that average amount of time for people to get
out of debt. So that's what we've kind of, yes,
as we've tracked people getting out of debt. So again,
for some people it's going to take longer, some people
it's shorter, depending on the amount of debt and the
income and all of that. But on average, it's eighteen
to twenty four months.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
As you mentioned eating out being a huge chunk, like
what is draining a lot of our money?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Like, is there a top list of things just to
be aware of. Because something that popped into my head
while you were talking was my daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
We were at the beach and her cousin, who's you know,
twenty one and has whatever way.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
She earns money, had gel on her nails. And then
my sixte year old daughter is like.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Oh, I want gel on my nails. I said, well,
if that's something you want to save your money for,
and do it. But also so as your mom, like
I want to tell you at sixteen, the type of
money you're earning and saving, I don't know that that
would be a wise way to spend your money. And
also I don't want you to, you know, damage your nails.
I used to get jail.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I don't anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I look, I painted my own nails and I tried
to show her. You know, I got this new olive
in June color that's pink that I love. And but
you know, a lot of kids get their nails done.
So that's an example to me where that could be
where you could cut back if you're doing things like that.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
In a sense.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
But one of my really good friends, Cat, she loves
getting her nails done, and she will not sacrifice that.
She will sacrifice other things, but she is not going
to sacrifice getting.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
Her nails done.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
So I guess I'm asking this question, but it may
look different for different people depending on what really makes
them feel good.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
Yeah, sure, and your values and yes, and yeah, what
you enjoy in life obviously is going to trump things
that you don't enjoy. But I think too, you know,
there can be a level of just sloppiness when it
comes to our money. And so I think it's amazing
what people will find if they actually do a budget
and they actually say, Okay, here's what we're going to
spend on food, here's what we're gonna spend on clothes,
here's what we're gonna spend on miscellaneous, here's what we're
(23:09):
gonna spend on insurance, and they actually map out their
income and understand exactly where their income's going. When you
do that and actually live on some level on purpose,
that actually makes you feel like you got to raise
because even just that awareness, it's amazing that you look
and say, oh my gosh, we've been paying double for
Apple iCloud storage that we don't need. Okay, well cut that,
(23:31):
cut this, and you start to actually see where your
money's going and that level of detail.
Speaker 5 (23:35):
It's really important.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
And it's amazing what you can say when you just
actually are on purpose on where your money's going, which
is a budget, which people hate the B word, but
that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Awareness is so amazing. I'll go back to that word empowering.
Having that knowledge and being aware is I never thought
I would say this, but it's just really cool, Like
it does so much for your certain decisions that you make,
yourself confidence.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
Confidence, Yeah, it does totally.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
I know.
Speaker 4 (24:03):
I had a friend and she she never did any
of this, you know that we're talking about. And I
just talked to her the other day and she was like, Rachel,
I gotta tell you. We did a budget for the
first time this month. And she was like, And I
walked into hobby lobby and I saw all these Christmas
trees and she was like I normally just would have
been like, yeah, we'll figure it out, we'll just charge
on the credit car, we'll figure it out later. No words,
We'll just we'll let's get it and let's get some
(24:23):
ornaments and have fun. And she was like, but I
had a budget and I knew I had this amount
of money to spend, and there was something about just
that that boundary to say, Okay, I have freedom within
this and.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
It's great, but next I need to stop. And that
kind of feels good.
Speaker 4 (24:38):
And there is something in us that well, when we
know and it's not just this idea in our heads,
it's a level of control in a good way, I think,
a healthy control that I have a say in my
life versus all of this just happening to me.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Circling back to you, you know, writing a kid's book
and thinking about kids and when we.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
Were kids and what's good for kids. Rules are great
for kids. They like to know that they're safe.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
And sometimes I notice my kids pushing the boundaries, but
they want me to stop them or they want there
to be that oh limits, All right, there's a limit. Okay,
Now I feel protected and like you care because as
an adult, I think it's the same thing.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
It's just yes, it's differently totally, yes, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 5 (25:25):
Except for some people.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Yeah, well, when we're when we were kids, our parents
are the ones creating those boundaries that then when we
become adults, we have to create our own boundaries.
Speaker 5 (25:34):
Yes, that's right, that's right.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
And for some people, honestly, personality wise or you know, tendencies,
they're great with it. It comes natural to them. They
love Excel sheets and they naturally just want to do
it themselves. But others, like me, I've had to really
train myself to be like, okay, Rachel, this is okay,
this is good, this is good. I mean, it was
a practice for me, and then once I got in
(25:56):
the habit of it, and it just became part of
my life, and and doing a budget every month and knowing,
you know, where am I going and all of that,
it just became that became normal. I realized, oh my gosh,
I can enjoy I enjoy what you're saying. I enjoying
my life more because I know what's going on. And
there's something about that, that freedom. That's I always say.
Speaker 5 (26:14):
Budgets do not limit your freedom. They actually give you freedom.
Speaker 4 (26:17):
They give you permission to spend and enjoy your money
because you actually know what's going on, and.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
They give you that perspective of you know the title
of your book, like you can be genuinely glad for what.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
You have, Yes, the contentment piece, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
And I think that that's huge.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
When my daughter asked me about the gel nails, what
I shared with you just now was my immediate response.
But I guess it does make me curious, And since
I have you here, I'll ask you, like, what is
a good way to say to a child no without
saying no?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Or maybe no is okay? And appropriate in that?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
I mean I definitely used showed an example and used
encouragement of like, we can do your own nails and
you don't want to ruin your nails from the gel.
When kids are asking for things, because they do ask
for a lot, what's your advice for parents, So the
best way to say we're not going to do that
at this time.
Speaker 4 (27:08):
I mean, especially if there's a bigger price tag attached
to it and they're not expected to use their own money.
Then I think for sure it's like, yeah, you know, mom,
that we don't have the money right now. I think
that's a very valid answer to say that that's okay,
you know, or we're choosing not to spend money on
this because we know there's other things that we're going
to want to do as a family, and we're going
to choose to put our money somewhere else. But that's
(27:29):
one reason I do love kids having their own money,
and as they get to be teenagers, you know, I
think having a student checking account is great for them,
with a debit card. And even as a parent, my
parents said this. They put a set amount of money
in every month, and they said, if you want more money,
you have to go get a job, which we had
to because they didn't give us a ton of money,
so we had to go babysit and do other things.
But that said amount of money was enough for us
(27:51):
to put gas in our car, you know, buy some
clothes if we want, go to the movies with friends,
all of that. But it wasn't an abundance amount. It
wasn't a lot. We could do whatever we wanted all
the time. We had to make choices. And so for
me learning those choices and me learning oh my gosh,
I went and got my nails done and it cost
me forty two dollars after tip, and now I only
(28:12):
have twenty eight dollars in my accounts. I mean, thinking
this is your daughter could be thinking this, Oh man,
I would much rather have had that money to be
able to go out to eat two different times with
friends than this, and they start to actually learn what
is going on and they put the pieces together, even
themselves as they're making inexpensive money mistakes. So I think
the older they get in as teenagers as of now,
(28:35):
which I mean I don't have teenagers, and I've said
things before that I would do as a parent, and
then you become a parent, You're like, oh, yeah, no,
that that's not real, that's not true. So I could
change my mind on this, but I do like the
idea of them making some mistakes with money and having
to learn, oh gosh, it's all gone now because I
got my nails done.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
Now what do I do now? I can't go out
and do X, Y and Z with friends.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
So learning that and them going through those emotions I
think is really healthy. But then there are times as
a parent to have the conversation to step in. But
I would say I'm the spender of even the Ramsey kids.
Growing up, my my siblings and I bought crap all
the time. I mean I just spent money and spent
money and spent money, and slowly after a while learning okay,
that is who I am. Obviously, I wrote a book
(29:18):
about contentment because it's still something I struggle with. But
learning like, Okay, that's what that meant. To buy that
cheap shirt at wet.
Speaker 5 (29:25):
Seal or whatever was cool when I was a teenager.
You seal, you're just like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (29:30):
But I think playing it out in real time, especially
when they're teenagers and they're older.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
I think, is I think, is great?
Speaker 4 (29:36):
I hold your daughter. I can't sixteen okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
So there'd be a part of me that would be like, yeah,
let her kind of figure it out and spend some
of her own money that maybe she's earned.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
That's definitely something I have said before when she's asked
for something. That's been one of my lines is if
you were buying this with your own money right now,
would do you still buy it? And she's looked at
me a few of those times and then like no,
and I'm like, okay, well then we're not getting it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Great, awesome problems solved. Day, We're done.
Speaker 5 (30:06):
You answered the question, so you did something with your kids?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Was it this summer this last summer where it was
like a no spend summer or.
Speaker 7 (30:12):
Something, So you did something with your kids?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Was it this summer, this last summer where it was
like a no spend summer or something.
Speaker 4 (30:30):
Oh yes, oh yes. So what I was saying earlier
that we do the give, save and spend. Even with
the spend, they were persistent. They're like, if they got
two dollars, they were like, can we go to Target?
Can we go to the dollar isle? And I was like,
oh my gosh, you guys. And it got to the
point that it was it was, I mean, it was
almost daily. It's embarrassing to say it was almost daily.
They were asking to like, go spend, we want to spend,
(30:50):
we want to spend. So Winceston, my husband and I we
looked at each other one day, We're like, we're done.
Speaker 5 (30:53):
Y'all, we're done.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
We will match whatever money you have in your spend
in your spind jar at the end of the summer,
but you are not allowed to spend any of your money.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
So we did.
Speaker 4 (31:03):
We put a cap on their spend money because they
were relentless about it. And I'm like, y'all, we are
not going to just be spending and spending spinning, and
they would do. And it's funny that, you know, what
I teach works to a degree because they went and
did a bunch of chores and earned a bunch of money.
And then they're like, we want, we want, we want,
And it became that for weeks. And so that's when
we said, okay, y'all were stopping this. You can continue
(31:26):
to do chores, we will continue to pay you, but
you can't you're not going to spend any of your money.
So we did two months of no spending with them
June and July. And it was great because after about
five days they stopped asking and it was so great,
and they they had the toys that they had. You know,
that contentment piece, I think is really true, and you
have enough. We have enough, we have plenty, we have enough.
(31:46):
And so them actually living in that was so good.
And then in August, yeah, we opened the floodgates again,
told them they're back to if they want to spend
some of their money, they can.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Since I am, well, I haven't I'm not dating yet,
but I mean I potentially could have another relationship at
some point.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
When should people have the money conversation? Is it first date,
is it second date?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
When do you start to be like, oh okay, because
some people don't even bring it up until they've been
engaged or they're getting married and they're like, oh, yeah, FYI,
I'm you know this amountain debt and they're like wait
what Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
I would say definitely before the engagement, you know. I
think when a relationship starts to like make that turn
where you think, all right, this is probably it, this
is it, and you kind of have that conversation of yeah,
this is this is feeling right and other natural hopefully
other natural conversations are happening with family dynamics, you know,
like there's other there's other conversations in life that are
(32:46):
important to have before you get married, and money is
just one of those. So if you are a person
that has that level of conversation with people about all
topics of life, it's like we're just going to go there,
then that's where I feel, Yeah, you have the freedom
just to go there. But if you're more reserved in that,
then you can wait until it starts getting more scares.
But I probably I wouldn't feel comfortable being engaged and
(33:08):
not knowing.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I mean, I think.
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Income amounts, retirements, housing situation, debt level, I mean all
of that, Like, I think that is a very real,
needed conversation because what happens too is people get married,
and especially I tend to find people that are older
or have established lives before they get married. They tend
to run on these two separate tracks relationally when it
comes to money, it's like his money and her money,
(33:31):
and they just live these separate lives financially, which I
think is really damaging, not just from the emotional standpoint
of the marriage, but also financially. I'm like, it's hard
to set big financial goals and win when you're just
doing it on your own, like partner together if you're married,
be one, and so that mindset's really really critical. So
I would say too, to know the value system of
the person and what they value about money and you
(33:54):
know what role it plays, how you guys see yourself
as a team going forward. I mean all of that,
I think that needs to be a conversation before engagement.
Speaker 5 (34:00):
In my opinion, we have a lot.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Of women listeners primarily, and I would love to know
your advice for those a bus that might need to
be in a position for a promotion or a raise
or one of those talks like do you have any
advice for I mean, I guess it could be for
men too, but I just feel like women are in
a different position at times depending on their company dynamics.
(34:27):
So do you have any advice for women that might.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Be in that position?
Speaker 2 (34:30):
You know, with the new year coming up, there might
be talks of evaluations that could be happening and standing
up for themselves and asking for what they feel the deserve.
Speaker 4 (34:40):
Yes, well, I think asking is a big part of it.
I think for so many of us. You know, you
can kind of just shy away from the conversation naturally
and say well, if it plays out, it plays out,
and it's more of a passive approach. But I would
say yeah, I mean, if you're at the point that
you're like, oh yeah, no, there needs to be a promotion,
there needs to be raised because my work indicates that,
and I think that would be the biggest thing. As
much facts as you can bring to the table, I
(35:01):
think it's huge to be able to show like your
key results areas like here's what I've been doing, Here's
how this has pushed forward different initiatives within the company,
this is what I've and actually show what you've done,
because I think sometimes just ideas, again, even talking about money,
like Oh, it's just the idea of a budget or
just the idea of knowing what's going on. No, you
actually want numbers down. And so I think as much
(35:24):
facts as you can have in life, I think is great.
But also when you're doing something like that, having a
conversation with someone for a promotion or for a rays,
being able to state your case very clearly and factually,
I think is a huge pro versus going in and
just saying I feel like I should have a raise, right, Like,
actually having a level of facts with.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
You, I think is big.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
Yeah, okay, so start collecting, start collecting.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
I would, I really would. I would just keep track
and just say, hey, here's what's going on.
Speaker 4 (35:53):
If you're you know, if you're a leader and more
people are now reporting to you than a year ago,
you know, like that needs to be in play, Like
I mean, all these different things in your role, I
think is I think is big because the opportunity is there,
and I think you're right.
Speaker 5 (36:05):
I think for a lot of women they can shy
away from it.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
And we see the studies, you know, depending on you know,
what angle you look at. But I think that fair
pay is a very needed thing. So if you are
in a company truly that they really are paying.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
A guy more than you, just not. And I'm not
talking about experience right Like, I mean, there could be
experience other factors.
Speaker 4 (36:26):
If it really is that, I would even question like,
oh my gosh, do I want to work do I
want to work here? Like what kind of company am
I working for? So I mean those are all bigger conversations,
but I think having your case being made is really important. Well.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
In some of your other books would be good for
the adult women listening to check out Know Yourself, Know
Your Money, the second one, Love your Life Not there
seven money habits for loving the life.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
That you want.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
I would encourage people to check those out, and I'll
see your host to the Rachel Cruse Show, co host
of Smart Money, Happy Hours. So many different ways to
get money and all from Rachel and her dad Dave Ramsey.
I mean, I feel like when it comes to money,
y'all are like the top people that come to mind
for so many people that I know, and so definitely
(37:12):
a good resource. And I'm very thankful for all that
y'all put out there for people, especially even just on Instagram,
like that there's so much that you can get from you.
I get little nuggets from you on there so at
Rachel Cruz and Cruse is with an e at the end,
on all socials, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and then.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Yeah, your new kids book.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I'm glad for what I have. I love that title
so much. And let's wrap with gratitude based on that.
What is something that you are glad that you have?
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Rachel, you know, right now I would say parenting. Right now,
we're like in a fun season. We're out of diapers
and strollers and cribs, like we're out of the baby season.
And so even just this past break, I'm like, oh,
this season of parenting is starting to feel really fun.
And it is work with the baby season, it's a work.
So being able to say, yeah, this is this is fun.
The older they get and the more they can talk
(38:04):
and be humans, it's I find it more enjoyable.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
I agree, like having your how you had these new
little relationships that yes, are really cool and special.
Speaker 4 (38:15):
And Amy, can I just encourage you made it such
a great point that it's so many women listening, and
I just want to encourage you women listening. So whether
you're single, whether you're married, regardless of relational status, and
I would say even income status, debt level, like anything,
just so that you have the ability to take control
of your money. You have the ability to learn things
that maybe you thought I could never learn, things that
may seem confusing or intimidating. You one hundred percent have
(38:38):
the ability to move into those spaces and learn and
know what's going on. And you may be a spender
like me in a free spirit and you're like, oh no,
I'd rather just not I I'd rather not do a
budget or not look at what's going on.
Speaker 5 (38:50):
But you really can.
Speaker 4 (38:51):
You can can take the subject and say, wow, I
feel so out of control, but you can take control.
And yeah, Amy, you listen to some great resources, So
I appreciate that. But I would love to help you
any way I can. For the listeners out there, so
tune in and read and read what's going on, you know,
Ramsey or the shows that we have, because I do
think we have a practical plan to walk people through it.
And it's possible for anyone, anyone at any stage of life.
(39:14):
And again, regardless of where you are financially, you can
do this.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Thank you for that encouragement, Rachel, and I'll also link
all the books in the show notes so they're easy
to find. But Amazon is also an easy way to
just as.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
You know, click order shows up is there, say Amazon
guys here. Yeah, that's definitely one that we have to
be careful with. I know earlier we're talking about things
that just drain money and it's like, gosh.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Amazon has just made it so easy to click and buy,
and then our kids they see that happen too, and
they're like, Wola, packages.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Just sh up, it's there. They out, money just goes
into the account and then boom, stuff arrives at the door.
Speaker 2 (39:51):
So as parents, we do need to be intentional. Since
everything is kind of just up in the cloud happening,
we need to kind of bring it back down so
that it can be tangible. And one way to do
that is with Rachel's Kid's book. Depending on how old
your kids are, and Rachel was like, I don't know,
your kids might be a little too old this. I
was like, no, I don't think I feel like I
(40:12):
could read my sixteen year old daughter that book. And
depending on what types of conversations you've had with your kids,
it may be age appropriate, it may be age appropriate
for us as adults too, So thank you.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Rachel for all that you do and it was so
fun having you back on. And I'm sure when you
do your next.
Speaker 5 (40:31):
Book you'll be back I know, I hope, so I hope.
So thanks saying me thanks for having me on. I
appreciate it.
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.