February 28, 2023 • 18 mins
“The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.” ― Roy T. Bennett
Trying something new may:
-Increase your self-confidence
-Open doors to enlightening experiences
-Improve your memory, mood and motivation
-Increase your adaptability and agility
-Also, when we experience something new and like it, our brain triggers a release of dopamine.
Why is it hard to try new things?
-Humans are often afraid of the unknown.
-Familiar things are more comfortable and easier.
-Trying new things requires a lot of effort and courage.
Amy & Kat want to do a “Trying Is Cool” challenge!! Are you in??
Some ideas of things to try:
Bungee jumping
Improv class
Hip hop dance class
Pottery class
Any new habit (daily journal, alarm, meditation)
Going somewhere alone
A tik tok dance
Cooking/baking (host a cooking night at house?)
Cryotherapy
Murder mystery party
New book
Arthur Ashe says: “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
Palliative care nurse Bronnie Ware recorded the top 5 regrets she heard from her patients as she cared for them at the end of life:
•"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
•"I wish I hadn't worked so hard."
•"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."
•"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
•"I wish that I had let myself be happier."
Link to Glow Cube HERE
POP-UP SHOP FOR HAITI. Details & RSVP HERE!!
Link to tickets for the ‘4 Things’ LIVE in Nashville at Franklin Theater HERE
Thank you licensed therapist, Kat Defatta, for joining us with her wisdom. You can find her on Instagram: @Kat.Defatta+ @YouNeedTherapyPodcast.
Best places to find more about Amy: RadioAmy.com + @RadioAmy
Send emails for the '5th Thing' to 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com
4 Things Gratitude Journal 3.0 (all proceeds to education in Haiti):
https://www.theshopforward.com/products/4-things-gratitude-journal-3-0
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat. Our quote today is from Roy T. Bennett.
The one who falls and gets up is stronger than
the one who never tried. Do not fear failure, but
rather fear not trying, which Kat, you gave me a
trying is cool bracelet. And I know you are all
about trying things. So from a psychology standpoint, what are
(00:27):
some benefits of trying something new? So it is probably
going to increase your self confidence. What's something that you've
done that you were nervous about that you did and
then you felt better about yourself after. Oh, well, the
first live that I did in Kansas and I felt
better about it, which led to me, you know, we
have the one in Nashville coming up and then which
(00:48):
is about to get more confident each time to try
to take it to more cities. Right, But like after
you did it, you're like, oh my gosh, I can
keep doing this. Yes, even though you were like nervous,
I don't know how this is going to go before
perfect open doors to enlightening experiences. So if you're trying
new things, then you're going to have better experiences. Yeah,
you're like, well, I think with the opening doors is
(01:10):
that you may meet new people. It may rejuvenate you.
Have you ever gone to like a networking event or
some kind of event where you don't know anybody? Yes,
and then no, if at least on one person, maybe,
but yeah, I know what it's like to walk into
your room. Yeah, not know anybody and be looking around
and maybe the person you're meeting isn't there yet, and
you're like, and then you might meet somebody that's going
(01:31):
to teach you something or lead you somewhere else. But
if you didn't go, you never would have met that person. Yeah,
places alone, that could be a trying as cool, go
do something alone, see who you meet. I don't try
to do that. Okay, have you ever eaten alone? I've
challenged myself to do that or gone to the movies alone.
But it's so when you eat alone, you can't just
go eat alone at a restaurant instead at a table.
You need to sit like a bar where you can
(01:52):
talk to somebody. You could sit at a table if
you want to. Well, yeah, but then nobody you're not
don't meet anybody anybody. You don't have to go to
meet anybody. You could go just to eat and read it,
got it, hang out, I'll try that and then it
improves your memory, mood and motivation, which is motivation is
a huge one. Oh gosh. Yeah, Well that's what this is.
Like us just trying to motivate and encourage you to
(02:12):
do whatever that new thing is that you need to do,
because I feel like it's hard for us though, and
I will acknowledge that it's hard for us to do
new things because we're scared and it's not comfortable and
we are afraid. Yeah, we're afraid of the unknown. That's
how it's going to go. But you want to know
something really cool is that when you do have new
(02:33):
experiences and they go well, your brain releases dopamine. And
this is something that people get really confused on. So
dopamine doesn't just mean like this is good, this feels
good in your body. That's not what dopamine is. Dopamine
is not the feel good. It is what is released
when you do feel good. So what motivates you to
do it again? Oh yeah, nice? Okay, Well Mel Robbins, ye,
(02:57):
take a drink. She was talking about building habits and
rewarding yourself and if you go do something that you
know you're not really feeling. I don't want to go
do this, but you do it within two minutes of
getting done with that, try to give yourself a reward
for that, like oh yeah, to feel good and then
you start to So then you associate a dog train yourself. Yeah,
(03:20):
you know, you do the trick, you get the treat well,
because the feel good is the endorphins. So we get endorphins.
But then we need to actually have the feeling of
I have to remember this to do this again, and
that's a dopamine so perfect. Yes, okay. So another reason
why trying things might be difficult is it just requires
a lot of effort. Sometimes it's like you got to
(03:41):
plan something. You got to figure out what you're gonna
go do. You gotta leave the house, you got to
get what is it that you're gonna go do. It
requires more effort and thinking and maybe planning depending on
what it is. So we're gonna start small. We're gonna
do a rapid fire trying as cool challenge. It's our challenge,
like we're going to be giving our selves and you
ideas when we do the rapid fire, and take note
(04:03):
if one stands out to you that you could do.
Then it's like, oh, maybe add that to your list
of things to try, okay, rapid fire cat and then
you can answer yes or no, and I will answer
yes or no if I if I will do it right, Okay,
Bungee jumping absolutely not never doing that same no desire
improv class. I don't want to, but I would do it.
(04:25):
I want to. That's something I really want to do.
Hip hop dance class. I don't want to, but if
I had to, I would do it. I want to.
I wish I was a Okay, that's just me because
I'm not good at it. So am I okay at all?
But I've done one before. And I did hip hop
yoga back in the day when I lived in North
(04:46):
Carolina and it was so much fun. Yeah, I did
that pottery class. I've been trying to get into a
class and it's always full. I don't know how I
feel about that really, any habit like journaling, writing, meta,
anything in that vein. Yes, I would like to do
all of those things. I'm starting them all. I meditate now,
did you know that? Now? I don't know if we've
(05:08):
talked about it, but I've been doing meditation. How long?
Ten minutes okay, and they're helping ten minutes ish. I
would say they vary between nine to twelve minutes, depending
on whether that's one of those things you're perfect. That's
one of those things where people do I meant, I
didn't finish my sentence. I's talking so bad, But you aren't.
You're a perfect example. Okay, but you're welcome, because when
(05:28):
people are encouraged to meditate a lot of times it's
one of those things that's like ah, whenever, like that's
not really going to make a difference. I don't like that,
but you just said, like, yeah, ten minutes a day,
it's making a difference, even the small difference, it's worth
ten minutes a day. And even when I'm doing it
for the ten minutes, my mind is wandering. Yeah, I'm
not this perfect meditator that has it down and I'm
just in it for ten minutes, totally focused on whatever
(05:49):
it is I'm meditating on. And because there's different types
of meditation you can do, that'll make you think about
different things. But my brain, ping, ping, ping, I think
about a million different things. But I always just try
I just try to bring myself back and more I
bring myself back. I just eventually I feel as though
I'm going to get to do a full ten minutes
where my mind stays focused on what we're doing. Going
(06:10):
somewhere alone made the list, which now we know cats not,
I'll do it. I'm gonna do it. Something small that
we've talked about too on the podcast, which might be
a challenge outside of your comfort zone, that is going
to be cool for you to try is Stephen Young,
the founder of Home Street Home, which is a homeless
ministry in Nashville. He is so big on if you
see a homeless person, smile or say hi. Don't just
(06:34):
stare ahead in your car because you're if you don't
have money, or you don't have anything to give, or
you feel uncomfortable and you don't know what to do.
You're not trying to be rude, you just don't know
what to do, so you just stare straight ahead and
maybe we try smiling. Smiling that could be something. Look, wave, smile.
I know you want to send the wrong message if
you're not planning on giving them anything, but just don't
roll down your window unless you want to roll down
(06:55):
and say hey, I hope. I hope you have a
good day, but I don't. I don't know how far
you're going to go with it, but I think they're
human beings and we all deserve smiles, and a smile
could change their day or a wave. And what else
do we have on the list? A TikTok dance. I've
done that before. I would do it again. Same cooking,
baking or maybe even hosting a cooking night at your
(07:17):
house like with friends, like a cooking party. I would
do that. Skate night like roller rain skating. Yeah, yes,
karate I reduced skate night too, by the way, but
I would not do karate. I do kickboxing. I feel
like that's good enough. Cryotherapy. I keep saying that I'm
going to do that, so sure, OK, yeah, you're coming
(07:38):
with me. I love it. A murder mystery party. I
want to do that where you like dress up and
you like act apart. How do you get the rules?
You order? Actually, Patrick's sister for Christmas gave us like
a game. It's like you can only use it one time,
but it gives you, like the evidence, it gives you
the thing, the characters. Okay, we'll do that. Okay, invite
me read a new book. Well, we would do that
(08:11):
kat Cat fight on here. We were like making melizza war.
And she was like, I'm gonna try to answer unknown
numbers that call me. And I'm like, why would you
do that? I ignored a call so many times one
day recently, and I kept sending them a voicemail. I
kept calling you back and I was it was almost
like stop calling me. And then finally I thought, well,
(08:32):
whoever this is, they need to talk to me. So
I answered it and he said, Hey, this is Jim
and I'm here to do the inspection at your house.
And I was like, oh my bad, Jim, I'm just
having ignoring you let you in. I did not have
your number, Jim so and I forgot you were coming
(08:53):
at this time. So yeah. The thing that I need
to work on with that is I own a business
and they call my phone. Yeah, so I'm gonna work
on it. Trying. Its cool, China is very cool answer
the random numbers. Although I get so many calls now
in so many texts because I've signed up for all
the things because I want to get ten percent off
(09:13):
or fifteen percent off. But you can text stop to
that and it'll take you off the list, So heads
up on that I have an author, Arthur. I can't
say Arthur hard for me, Arthur ash wait, do it
one more time, Arthur as okay. Quote start where you are,
(09:36):
use what you have, do what you can. So if
any of these resonated with you, start where you are,
do what you can. Like maybe the first step to
a pottery class is just googling are there any in
my area that I could go to or improv? Which
I have googled improv places multiple times and my friend
(09:56):
Ali is going to one and I'm so jealous. But
the ones I think that are close to me that
I could go, it's a three hour commitment in one night,
and that's just very difficult for me to do right now.
But you know what you make. You make time for
what you want to do. But then I have kids
and all the things, and they have things. They have
jiu jitsu and gymnastics and softball, And would you try
(10:18):
gymnastics not as an adult that's probably safe. No. I
have done gymnastics as an adult when my niece was
doing it. I just went there and my sister and
I were doing stuff and I was It was not injured,
hurt myself for sure. So all this to say, trying
as cool, try new things, give yourself a little trying
(10:39):
as cool challenge, Join us in this and we can
hold each other accountable. And I just don't want to
regret not trying things. Yeah, I want to tell you
I had an interview with somebody maybe two years ago,
and it was about he was talking to me about
how this thing happened. He failed at this thing. It
was like a career long career goal and didn't work out.
(11:01):
And he wrote a book about how that death of
that dream that he had is like was like the
rebirth of his like new life, and he's like doing
all these really cool things. Now, Oh makes me think
rejection is redirection. Quote me, well, that's not my quote.
I've heard that lots of places, but one hundred percent.
And so he was talking to me about all this
(11:22):
stuff and he said, when we get close to death,
he was talking in metaphor, like the death of a dream.
He was like, it's when we get the closest to
death is when we really start living. And he was
telling me the story about this woman who she was
a palliative care nurse, like hospice end of life, and
she started interviewing or asking all things. She was like,
(11:42):
I'm interviewing you, but she started asking her patience, what
is it that you really wish she would have done?
And she came up with the five most frequent answers
that she got, and they to me, were so important
because this wasn't made up. She asked people that have
been somewhere that we all are going to be one day,
we're all going to be there, and these are what
they are. The first one, which this one hits me
(12:05):
like the hardest. I wish I had the courage to
live a life true to myself, not the life that
others expected me to live. Think about how often we
make decisions based on oh my gosh, okay, And then
I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I
had the courage to express my feelings. Yeah, using your voice,
(12:25):
or even telling somebody you care about them, or right
that I your voice in whatever capacity. I wish I
would have stayed in touch with my friends. And I
imagine that, like, you know, you're like friends from elementary school.
You're like, I wonder what so and so is doing.
I had a phone call last night with a friend
that I made at eighteen, sorry thirteen. His name's Django.
(12:47):
We had a core group of friends, my friend Andrea, Django, Scott.
There's other people in it, but Luke and Kristen. And
now I'm just rattling off all of my friends from
high school. But Django called me last night, and it's funny.
We can go months without talking to each other, but
it doesn't matter. We pick a right back up and
if he needs something, any of us, if anybody needs anything,
(13:09):
it doesn't matter. But when he called me, I was
on the other line and I thought, Wow, that's weird.
Why is you calling me, Hope. I wonder if something's
wrong or something happened, or maybe he's in Nashville because
he used to live here and now he lives in
Austin and maybe he's in town. And I couldn't click
over right of the way because I was hanging up
the other call. But I was about to call him back,
and then he texted he said, hey, just checking in
(13:30):
Hope all as well, and I'm like, oh, So then
I call him back and he said, yeah, I was
just thinking about you. So I called and I thought,
look at us growing and checking in on each other.
And I think we're now in our forties coming to
a phase in life where we want to check on
each other more and we want to be intentional. And
(13:50):
I love that because it's one of my things this
year too, is more connection. It's also more work, which
well you said they're more work less, but it's working
on all kinds of things, working on my mind, body, spirit,
working different work opportunities, diversifying that. But I just thought
it was really cool that he called to check in
and we made a sort of a commitment on the
(14:12):
call to try to do that more and also to
connect with some of our other friends that I rattled
off and like, plan a weekend trip somewhere. He said,
we could go to Charleston, we could go to NAPA.
Our friend Scott lives in New York, Like, let's go
meet up with him there. Something, but just not letting
too many years keep going by where we're just like, Hey,
I'm gonna be an Austin. Let's meet up real quick
(14:34):
for dinner. But what can we play a trip and
we do something. Can we really make a memory, make
a core memory together with people that we've been friends
with since we were freshmen in high school, so I
thought that was cool. So anyway, carry on, what's the next?
There's one more? And I wish that I had let
myself be happier. That's sad. Well, they're all sad. All
(14:54):
of these are. They're all regrets, and so I just
like those because to me, when he told me that,
I was like, oh my gosh, if that's what people
are thinking at the end of their life, and I
don't want to think that I have to be proactive
about that now. We would add I don't want to
regret not trying things. But should I email the lady
that did this. Her name is Brownie Ware and she
(15:15):
wrote a book. I'm gonna email you forgot one. I've
heard about this list I probably. I think at one
point I've gotten over it in the podcast. I think
even when the first time I ever realized what palliative
care was was when my mom got put on it,
and I had no idea. I think the first time
I heard the doctor say it because we were in
the hospital and they were like, she was getting treatment
and medication and all the things, and I remember them saying,
(15:38):
I think it's time to move her to a palliative care,
and I was like, put up at the ball what
I didn't know what that meant. And then when we
did eventually move her to hospice, I had so much
respect for those nurses and their care and attention and love,
Like you have to be a special person to be
a palliative care nurse. So if anybody listening happens to
(16:01):
be in that field, or you have a friend or
a loved one, that is just also love on them
because they are dealing with some really hard stuff and
seeing really hard things every day at work and showing
up to do that, because any nurse in general is
doing that, but this is you're literally taking care of
someone that is on their deathbed. They are dying and
(16:24):
it's your job to keep them comfortable, which is what
that is. It's come, you know, taking off treatment. We're
no longer trying to cure this cancer. We are going
to let its do its thing, but we need to
make sure we administer things so that they're not in pain.
So anyway, shout out brownie, Yeah, and you need to
update your book. What book? Her book? Oh? Her book,
(16:46):
Oh with the with the trying is cool. No, she
doesn't have to put that in there. I did get
an email from Jessica though, speaking of trying things, and
we had talked about the Glowcube before, like that ic
thing that you keep in the freezer, and she sent
a note saying, I went to the Glowcube Instagram and
it says to wash your face and put on all
(17:06):
these serums and different things and then do the ice.
And I said, well, I don't do that because it
gets really drippy and then I feel like I want
to pat my face dry and I don't want to
waste product. You would do that before, I would think,
and then put this product on, right, That's what I do.
So I told her that I have no idea the Glowcube.
People know what they're doing with their product, but I'm
just saying, because we've talked about it so much and
I talked about it on Instagram, that I am doing
(17:28):
it on a clean face. I wash my face and
then I do it, and then I pat my face
dry and then I put my product on. So if
you're trying that, that's the way I recommend trying it. Kat.
Where can people find you on Instagram? At atat dot
defata and at Uni Therapy podcast You can also listen
to Uni Therapy podcast and now I Am at Radio Amy.
(17:52):
You can get hit up Radioamy dot com again. All
the details for March twenty five are on there, or
March twenty fourth for our pop up shop for Hay
in Nashville. I hope y'all can join us if you
live in the area. Maybe you're not even coming to
the live on the twenty fifth, that doesn't matter. They're
They're totally unrelated events, but they're on the same weekend
to sort of be a big celebration for the weekend
(18:13):
and give people something to do and also raise a
bunch of money for Haiti. Happy Hour Cocktails, Cookies, Cocktails
and Cookies, Happy Hour pop up shop for Haiti. The
details are again radiome dot com or if you go
to at radiome you can click on link tree and
find everything. Okay, had the day you need to have
(18:33):
try things because trying by
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat. Our quote today is from Roy T. Bennett.
The one who falls and gets up is stronger than
the one who never tried. Do not fear failure, but
rather fear not trying, which Kat, you gave me a
trying is cool bracelet. And I know you are all
about trying things. So from a psychology standpoint, what are
(00:27):
some benefits of trying something new? So it is probably
going to increase your self confidence. What's something that you've
done that you were nervous about that you did and
then you felt better about yourself after. Oh, well, the
first live that I did in Kansas and I felt
better about it, which led to me, you know, we
have the one in Nashville coming up and then which
(00:48):
is about to get more confident each time to try
to take it to more cities. Right, But like after
you did it, you're like, oh my gosh, I can
keep doing this. Yes, even though you were like nervous,
I don't know how this is going to go before
perfect open doors to enlightening experiences. So if you're trying
new things, then you're going to have better experiences. Yeah,
you're like, well, I think with the opening doors is
(01:10):
that you may meet new people. It may rejuvenate you.
Have you ever gone to like a networking event or
some kind of event where you don't know anybody? Yes,
and then no, if at least on one person, maybe,
but yeah, I know what it's like to walk into
your room. Yeah, not know anybody and be looking around
and maybe the person you're meeting isn't there yet, and
you're like, and then you might meet somebody that's going
(01:31):
to teach you something or lead you somewhere else. But
if you didn't go, you never would have met that person. Yeah,
places alone, that could be a trying as cool, go
do something alone, see who you meet. I don't try
to do that. Okay, have you ever eaten alone? I've
challenged myself to do that or gone to the movies alone.
But it's so when you eat alone, you can't just
go eat alone at a restaurant instead at a table.
You need to sit like a bar where you can
(01:52):
talk to somebody. You could sit at a table if
you want to. Well, yeah, but then nobody you're not
don't meet anybody anybody. You don't have to go to
meet anybody. You could go just to eat and read it,
got it, hang out, I'll try that and then it
improves your memory, mood and motivation, which is motivation is
a huge one. Oh gosh. Yeah, Well that's what this is.
Like us just trying to motivate and encourage you to
(02:12):
do whatever that new thing is that you need to do,
because I feel like it's hard for us though, and
I will acknowledge that it's hard for us to do
new things because we're scared and it's not comfortable and
we are afraid. Yeah, we're afraid of the unknown. That's
how it's going to go. But you want to know
something really cool is that when you do have new
(02:33):
experiences and they go well, your brain releases dopamine. And
this is something that people get really confused on. So
dopamine doesn't just mean like this is good, this feels
good in your body. That's not what dopamine is. Dopamine
is not the feel good. It is what is released
when you do feel good. So what motivates you to
do it again? Oh yeah, nice? Okay, Well Mel Robbins, ye,
(02:57):
take a drink. She was talking about building habits and
rewarding yourself and if you go do something that you
know you're not really feeling. I don't want to go
do this, but you do it within two minutes of
getting done with that, try to give yourself a reward
for that, like oh yeah, to feel good and then
you start to So then you associate a dog train yourself. Yeah,
(03:20):
you know, you do the trick, you get the treat well,
because the feel good is the endorphins. So we get endorphins.
But then we need to actually have the feeling of
I have to remember this to do this again, and
that's a dopamine so perfect. Yes, okay. So another reason
why trying things might be difficult is it just requires
a lot of effort. Sometimes it's like you got to
(03:41):
plan something. You got to figure out what you're gonna
go do. You gotta leave the house, you got to
get what is it that you're gonna go do. It
requires more effort and thinking and maybe planning depending on
what it is. So we're gonna start small. We're gonna
do a rapid fire trying as cool challenge. It's our challenge,
like we're going to be giving our selves and you
ideas when we do the rapid fire, and take note
(04:03):
if one stands out to you that you could do.
Then it's like, oh, maybe add that to your list
of things to try, okay, rapid fire cat and then
you can answer yes or no, and I will answer
yes or no if I if I will do it right, Okay,
Bungee jumping absolutely not never doing that same no desire
improv class. I don't want to, but I would do it.
(04:25):
I want to. That's something I really want to do.
Hip hop dance class. I don't want to, but if
I had to, I would do it. I want to.
I wish I was a Okay, that's just me because
I'm not good at it. So am I okay at all?
But I've done one before. And I did hip hop
yoga back in the day when I lived in North
(04:46):
Carolina and it was so much fun. Yeah, I did
that pottery class. I've been trying to get into a
class and it's always full. I don't know how I
feel about that really, any habit like journaling, writing, meta,
anything in that vein. Yes, I would like to do
all of those things. I'm starting them all. I meditate now,
did you know that? Now? I don't know if we've
(05:08):
talked about it, but I've been doing meditation. How long?
Ten minutes okay, and they're helping ten minutes ish. I
would say they vary between nine to twelve minutes, depending
on whether that's one of those things you're perfect. That's
one of those things where people do I meant, I
didn't finish my sentence. I's talking so bad, But you aren't.
You're a perfect example. Okay, but you're welcome, because when
(05:28):
people are encouraged to meditate a lot of times it's
one of those things that's like ah, whenever, like that's
not really going to make a difference. I don't like that,
but you just said, like, yeah, ten minutes a day,
it's making a difference, even the small difference, it's worth
ten minutes a day. And even when I'm doing it
for the ten minutes, my mind is wandering. Yeah, I'm
not this perfect meditator that has it down and I'm
just in it for ten minutes, totally focused on whatever
(05:49):
it is I'm meditating on. And because there's different types
of meditation you can do, that'll make you think about
different things. But my brain, ping, ping, ping, I think
about a million different things. But I always just try
I just try to bring myself back and more I
bring myself back. I just eventually I feel as though
I'm going to get to do a full ten minutes
where my mind stays focused on what we're doing. Going
(06:10):
somewhere alone made the list, which now we know cats not,
I'll do it. I'm gonna do it. Something small that
we've talked about too on the podcast, which might be
a challenge outside of your comfort zone, that is going
to be cool for you to try is Stephen Young,
the founder of Home Street Home, which is a homeless
ministry in Nashville. He is so big on if you
see a homeless person, smile or say hi. Don't just
(06:34):
stare ahead in your car because you're if you don't
have money, or you don't have anything to give, or
you feel uncomfortable and you don't know what to do.
You're not trying to be rude, you just don't know
what to do, so you just stare straight ahead and
maybe we try smiling. Smiling that could be something. Look, wave, smile.
I know you want to send the wrong message if
you're not planning on giving them anything, but just don't
roll down your window unless you want to roll down
(06:55):
and say hey, I hope. I hope you have a
good day, but I don't. I don't know how far
you're going to go with it, but I think they're
human beings and we all deserve smiles, and a smile
could change their day or a wave. And what else
do we have on the list? A TikTok dance. I've
done that before. I would do it again. Same cooking,
baking or maybe even hosting a cooking night at your
(07:17):
house like with friends, like a cooking party. I would
do that. Skate night like roller rain skating. Yeah, yes,
karate I reduced skate night too, by the way, but
I would not do karate. I do kickboxing. I feel
like that's good enough. Cryotherapy. I keep saying that I'm
going to do that, so sure, OK, yeah, you're coming
(07:38):
with me. I love it. A murder mystery party. I
want to do that where you like dress up and
you like act apart. How do you get the rules?
You order? Actually, Patrick's sister for Christmas gave us like
a game. It's like you can only use it one time,
but it gives you, like the evidence, it gives you
the thing, the characters. Okay, we'll do that. Okay, invite
me read a new book. Well, we would do that
(08:11):
kat Cat fight on here. We were like making melizza war.
And she was like, I'm gonna try to answer unknown
numbers that call me. And I'm like, why would you
do that? I ignored a call so many times one
day recently, and I kept sending them a voicemail. I
kept calling you back and I was it was almost
like stop calling me. And then finally I thought, well,
(08:32):
whoever this is, they need to talk to me. So
I answered it and he said, Hey, this is Jim
and I'm here to do the inspection at your house.
And I was like, oh my bad, Jim, I'm just
having ignoring you let you in. I did not have
your number, Jim so and I forgot you were coming
(08:53):
at this time. So yeah. The thing that I need
to work on with that is I own a business
and they call my phone. Yeah, so I'm gonna work
on it. Trying. Its cool, China is very cool answer
the random numbers. Although I get so many calls now
in so many texts because I've signed up for all
the things because I want to get ten percent off
(09:13):
or fifteen percent off. But you can text stop to
that and it'll take you off the list, So heads
up on that I have an author, Arthur. I can't
say Arthur hard for me, Arthur ash wait, do it
one more time, Arthur as okay. Quote start where you are,
(09:36):
use what you have, do what you can. So if
any of these resonated with you, start where you are,
do what you can. Like maybe the first step to
a pottery class is just googling are there any in
my area that I could go to or improv? Which
I have googled improv places multiple times and my friend
(09:56):
Ali is going to one and I'm so jealous. But
the ones I think that are close to me that
I could go, it's a three hour commitment in one night,
and that's just very difficult for me to do right now.
But you know what you make. You make time for
what you want to do. But then I have kids
and all the things, and they have things. They have
jiu jitsu and gymnastics and softball, And would you try
(10:18):
gymnastics not as an adult that's probably safe. No. I
have done gymnastics as an adult when my niece was
doing it. I just went there and my sister and
I were doing stuff and I was It was not injured,
hurt myself for sure. So all this to say, trying
as cool, try new things, give yourself a little trying
(10:39):
as cool challenge, Join us in this and we can
hold each other accountable. And I just don't want to
regret not trying things. Yeah, I want to tell you
I had an interview with somebody maybe two years ago,
and it was about he was talking to me about
how this thing happened. He failed at this thing. It
was like a career long career goal and didn't work out.
(11:01):
And he wrote a book about how that death of
that dream that he had is like was like the
rebirth of his like new life, and he's like doing
all these really cool things. Now, Oh makes me think
rejection is redirection. Quote me, well, that's not my quote.
I've heard that lots of places, but one hundred percent.
And so he was talking to me about all this
(11:22):
stuff and he said, when we get close to death,
he was talking in metaphor, like the death of a dream.
He was like, it's when we get the closest to
death is when we really start living. And he was
telling me the story about this woman who she was
a palliative care nurse, like hospice end of life, and
she started interviewing or asking all things. She was like,
(11:42):
I'm interviewing you, but she started asking her patience, what
is it that you really wish she would have done?
And she came up with the five most frequent answers
that she got, and they to me, were so important
because this wasn't made up. She asked people that have
been somewhere that we all are going to be one day,
we're all going to be there, and these are what
they are. The first one, which this one hits me
(12:05):
like the hardest. I wish I had the courage to
live a life true to myself, not the life that
others expected me to live. Think about how often we
make decisions based on oh my gosh, okay, And then
I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I
had the courage to express my feelings. Yeah, using your voice,
(12:25):
or even telling somebody you care about them, or right
that I your voice in whatever capacity. I wish I
would have stayed in touch with my friends. And I
imagine that, like, you know, you're like friends from elementary school.
You're like, I wonder what so and so is doing.
I had a phone call last night with a friend
that I made at eighteen, sorry thirteen. His name's Django.
(12:47):
We had a core group of friends, my friend Andrea, Django, Scott.
There's other people in it, but Luke and Kristen. And
now I'm just rattling off all of my friends from
high school. But Django called me last night, and it's funny.
We can go months without talking to each other, but
it doesn't matter. We pick a right back up and
if he needs something, any of us, if anybody needs anything,
(13:09):
it doesn't matter. But when he called me, I was
on the other line and I thought, Wow, that's weird.
Why is you calling me, Hope. I wonder if something's
wrong or something happened, or maybe he's in Nashville because
he used to live here and now he lives in
Austin and maybe he's in town. And I couldn't click
over right of the way because I was hanging up
the other call. But I was about to call him back,
and then he texted he said, hey, just checking in
(13:30):
Hope all as well, and I'm like, oh, So then
I call him back and he said, yeah, I was
just thinking about you. So I called and I thought,
look at us growing and checking in on each other.
And I think we're now in our forties coming to
a phase in life where we want to check on
each other more and we want to be intentional. And
(13:50):
I love that because it's one of my things this
year too, is more connection. It's also more work, which
well you said they're more work less, but it's working
on all kinds of things, working on my mind, body, spirit,
working different work opportunities, diversifying that. But I just thought
it was really cool that he called to check in
and we made a sort of a commitment on the
(14:12):
call to try to do that more and also to
connect with some of our other friends that I rattled
off and like, plan a weekend trip somewhere. He said,
we could go to Charleston, we could go to NAPA.
Our friend Scott lives in New York, Like, let's go
meet up with him there. Something, but just not letting
too many years keep going by where we're just like, Hey,
I'm gonna be an Austin. Let's meet up real quick
(14:34):
for dinner. But what can we play a trip and
we do something. Can we really make a memory, make
a core memory together with people that we've been friends
with since we were freshmen in high school, so I
thought that was cool. So anyway, carry on, what's the next?
There's one more? And I wish that I had let
myself be happier. That's sad. Well, they're all sad. All
(14:54):
of these are. They're all regrets, and so I just
like those because to me, when he told me that,
I was like, oh my gosh, if that's what people
are thinking at the end of their life, and I
don't want to think that I have to be proactive
about that now. We would add I don't want to
regret not trying things. But should I email the lady
that did this. Her name is Brownie Ware and she
(15:15):
wrote a book. I'm gonna email you forgot one. I've
heard about this list I probably. I think at one
point I've gotten over it in the podcast. I think
even when the first time I ever realized what palliative
care was was when my mom got put on it,
and I had no idea. I think the first time
I heard the doctor say it because we were in
the hospital and they were like, she was getting treatment
and medication and all the things, and I remember them saying,
(15:38):
I think it's time to move her to a palliative care,
and I was like, put up at the ball what
I didn't know what that meant. And then when we
did eventually move her to hospice, I had so much
respect for those nurses and their care and attention and love,
Like you have to be a special person to be
a palliative care nurse. So if anybody listening happens to
(16:01):
be in that field, or you have a friend or
a loved one, that is just also love on them
because they are dealing with some really hard stuff and
seeing really hard things every day at work and showing
up to do that, because any nurse in general is
doing that, but this is you're literally taking care of
someone that is on their deathbed. They are dying and
(16:24):
it's your job to keep them comfortable, which is what
that is. It's come, you know, taking off treatment. We're
no longer trying to cure this cancer. We are going
to let its do its thing, but we need to
make sure we administer things so that they're not in pain.
So anyway, shout out brownie, Yeah, and you need to
update your book. What book? Her book? Oh? Her book,
(16:46):
Oh with the with the trying is cool. No, she
doesn't have to put that in there. I did get
an email from Jessica though, speaking of trying things, and
we had talked about the Glowcube before, like that ic
thing that you keep in the freezer, and she sent
a note saying, I went to the Glowcube Instagram and
it says to wash your face and put on all
(17:06):
these serums and different things and then do the ice.
And I said, well, I don't do that because it
gets really drippy and then I feel like I want
to pat my face dry and I don't want to
waste product. You would do that before, I would think,
and then put this product on, right, That's what I do.
So I told her that I have no idea the Glowcube.
People know what they're doing with their product, but I'm
just saying, because we've talked about it so much and
I talked about it on Instagram, that I am doing
(17:28):
it on a clean face. I wash my face and
then I do it, and then I pat my face
dry and then I put my product on. So if
you're trying that, that's the way I recommend trying it. Kat.
Where can people find you on Instagram? At atat dot
defata and at Uni Therapy podcast You can also listen
to Uni Therapy podcast and now I Am at Radio Amy.
(17:52):
You can get hit up Radioamy dot com again. All
the details for March twenty five are on there, or
March twenty fourth for our pop up shop for Hay
in Nashville. I hope y'all can join us if you
live in the area. Maybe you're not even coming to
the live on the twenty fifth, that doesn't matter. They're
They're totally unrelated events, but they're on the same weekend
to sort of be a big celebration for the weekend
(18:13):
and give people something to do and also raise a
bunch of money for Haiti. Happy Hour Cocktails, Cookies, Cocktails
and Cookies, Happy Hour pop up shop for Haiti. The
details are again radiome dot com or if you go
to at radiome you can click on link tree and
find everything. Okay, had the day you need to have
(18:33):
try things because trying by
Feeling Things with Amy & Kat News
Host
Amy Brown
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